Disclosure: Some affiliate links are below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally helpful.

When I was younger, I placed a lot of importance on my opinions. Even though they were based solely on my observations and experiences, they felt solid, especially when I stated them aloud. I thought my views defined me. After all, who would I be without them?

Unsolicited, I would offer my thoughts, often prefacing with “this is just my opinion” to sound humble. But in my heart, I believed-or at least wanted to believe—that I was right. If I sound like I was obnoxious, I’d agree.

If you’ve been stuck in your opinions like this—or still feel you are—read on. Absolute thinking is a shortcut to personal suffering.

Values, Beliefs, Opinions

Having opinions isn’t the problem; it’s our resistance to recognizing them for what they are. We humans are constantly theorizing and interpreting the world based on our vantage point. The pain comes not from forming opinions, but from being rigid about them.

To understand opinions more clearly, it is helpful to distinguish between values, beliefs, and opinions—terms that are often used interchangeably but have distinct meanings.

• Values are deeply held principles that guide behavior and decisions. They’re considered core to one’s identity and are typically long-lasting, shaped by culture, family, and religion. Examples include honesty, compassion, freedom, and hard work.

• Beliefs are things we accept as true—often without proof—shaped by personal experience, education, and culture. Religious beliefs are a prime example.

• Opinions are personal judgments or views not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.

If you’ve lived for any amount of time, you’ve likely seen people contradict their values or beliefs. Think of crimes, betrayals, or wars—humans often act in conflict with what they claim to believe. We’re not perfect.

We cling to values and beliefs because they help us navigate society and form a cohesive community. But opinions, by definition, are meant to be more malleable.

And yet, we sometimes treat opinions like facts—holding onto them as if they are universally true, rather than just reflections of our perspective in the moment. Think politics, lifestyle choices, and the proper way to squeeze the toothpaste tube.

Recognizing the fluidity of opinion

Life keeps spinning. Things happen. And we have almost no control, except over how we interpret and respond. So, we form opinions and cling to them like they’re jewels of wisdom. But perhaps the wiser path is to accept the reality of how much we don’t know.

Philosophy has a whole branch—epistemology—dedicated to the study of knowledge: what we know, how we know it, and where its limits lie. The key truth? Our understanding of the world is limited, individual, and subjective.

In other words, we only know what we know, based on our unique lens. Our opinions are only as sound as the information we receive and how we process it. And since we’re constantly changing—and so is everything else—it makes sense that our opinions should evolve too, unless we stick to them like Velcro.

Without recognizing the limits of our thinking, we fall into confirmation bias—seeing only what supports our existing views. For instance, when you buy a red car, you suddenly start seeing red cars everywhere. Each person has a built-in algorithm.

the real peace is not knowing

I shake my head when I think of my younger self—the woman who clung so tightly to her opinions, mistaking them for truth. Why was she so sure? I think she was terrified by how little she knew.

That younger woman has been replaced by someone more at peace with uncertainty. I hold fewer opinions now, and I try harder to honor those of others. That doesn’t mean I don’t act to influence change where I believe it’s needed. But I do so with a more humble mindset.

What would the world be like if we each accepted the limits of our opinions and embraced not knowing? What might shift if we stopped criticizing ourselves for not having all the answers?

Perhaps by letting go of the illusion of certainty, we can release the pressure valve of anxiety and open ourselves to a greater sense of curiosity. Each of us is simply trying to figure it out and navigate life with less fear, because, as we all know, fear is a heavy burden.

If you want to explore your past, we have a free interactive timeline tool to help you get started. Check out the download here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: Some affiliate links are below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally helpful.

To say I was sideswiped is an understatement. It was the day before I expected to hear back from a client about the draft of their company story I’d submitted for review. After a few months of interviews, correspondence, hours of writing, and rounds of feedback, I delivered what I believed to be a solid narrative that truly captured the spirit of their business.

Based on conversations with some of the interviewees, I knew that commitment to the history project varied across the board. Still, I felt confident in my work and our direction. I was sure we’d soon be moving into the book design and layout phase, especially given the tight seven-month turnaround they had initially requested.

Then the email came.

The board had decided that the narrative would require significantly more editing and development, and they no longer wanted to proceed. They thanked me for my effort, which offered little comfort. I was stunned—gutted, really.

In my reply, I wrote that the news was devastating and wished them the best of luck. Then I stood up and walked around in a daze, muttering and spiraling over what I could have missed or misunderstood. Had I miscommunicated the process? Failed to clarify what I’d deliver? Misread their expectations?

Admittedly, I dipped into an emotional abyss. That’s when I decided—perhaps unwisely—to make a list of every time I’d been fired or felt like a failure, hoping to identify some flaw in my character that might explain this loss. Things went south from there.

Step Back When Self-talk Gets Dark

Oddly, I told myself that looking back and listing losses wasn’t an act of self-flagellation—it was growth. After all, I meditate now. I’m in my 60s. I’m supposed to be self-actualized. Surely adversity can’t send me into a fetal position anymore… right?

However, I quickly realized the flaw in this approach. My list of perceived failures was inconsistent in cause and context—some were due to my actions, others entirely out of my control. And yet, as I spiraled, my inner critic grew louder, and the list of failures grew longer and more emotionally charged.

That’s when I caught myself. I realized my perspective had become wildly lopsided. I wasn’t reviewing the past; I was indicting myself. I was ignoring all the wins, the growth, the lessons that had helped me get where I am.

What Do We Learn From the Past?

If you’ve heard the phrase, “You are what you eat,” then, aside from the fact that I might be made of Ho Hos and Ding Dongs from my youth, the principle serves as a useful metaphor for life as well.

We are made up of our experiences. Each one—whether a feast or famine—has contributed to who we are today. Some memories are vivid and formative; others fade into the background. But all of them matter.

The primary point of revisiting the past is to place it in context. The past has shaped you, but it doesn’t define you. To benefit from reflecting on your life story, you must do so with curiosity—not judgment. The past is a collection of puzzle pieces that, when examined without blame, can illuminate who you are and what you want now.

The One Question to Ask When Your Inner Voice Turns Negative

In my moment of despair, I let the negative voice take over—a bad habit I thought I’d left behind. But once I recognized its return, I paused. I had the presence of mind to ask it one question that always shifts the tone of inner chatter:

“What did you learn from that experience?”

That question was a turning point. Instead of spiraling into blame and shame, I grounded myself in reflection. What I learned from this recent experience is that even when I bring my best skills and intentions, outcomes are not always within my control. But I also learned the importance of identifying all decision-makers upfront and ensuring that expectations are aligned across the board. That’s a powerful takeaway I can apply moving forward.

This same question—What did you learn from that experience?—applies to all life events, not just the painful ones. If you’re inclined to list your past milestones, include a sentence or two about what each one taught you. Even the failures are likely rich with multiple lessons that have shaped your resilience and wisdom.

This isn’t about sugarcoating the past. It’s about reframing it productively. Of course, if you could redo some things, you’d likely make different choices. But that’s the point—you’ve grown. You’ve changed. When you view your life through the lens of lessons learned, you realize just how much knowledge and insight you’ve gained.

You’re richer than you know.

If you want to dive into your past we have a FREE interactive timeline tool to help you get started. Check out the download here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: Some affiliate links are below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally helpful.

Picture yourself sitting on a dune amidst beach grass, gazing at the ocean's waves as the sun rises. The wind blows lightly, and the temperature is perfect. You are at ease, enjoying nature and listening to the gentle breeze.

You look out at the water's vastness, noting how the colors shift from orange to golden as the sun emerges. The clouds morph and stretch across the sky. You feel connected to everything around you, calm, refreshed, and at peace. There is nothing to focus on at this moment except the rhythm of your breath—one inhale and exhale to the next.

This beach scene is what I imagine each morning as I sit in my solarium to meditate. The fact that I can say I meditate daily is a new phenomenon—one I began just over a month ago.

Creating a meditation space has long been my goal, but I never quite got around to it despite knowing its health benefits. And I say this as someone who isn't particularly spiritual or drawn to "woo-woo" practices.

I've put off regular meditation for years, held back by self-imposed barriers, my racing thoughts, and a number of excuses, like the boredom of simply sitting with myself. But finally, I've started. In the short time since, I've learned lessons that could help anyone understand the value of meditation and how to approach it without feeling like you're "doing it wrong."

What You Gain With Regular Meditation

Though I'm still in the early stages of my meditation journey, I notice its positive effects. For example, I still have moments when I get upset with my spouse or feel grumpy, but my mood swings are shorter, less intense, and don't last as long.

Funk moods are shorter in duration: I'm prone to catastrophizing, letting frustrations and fears spiral into a bad mood. But since 2025 began, I've been micro-dosing the news and meditating for 20 minutes each morning. Now, I find it easier to step back from the brink of despair and regain my equilibrium.

Personal satisfaction of doing something for your spirit: Setting and achieving a goal feels fantastic. I use the Habits app to track my meditation progress, and it feels significant that I can check off "meditate" each day.

Mental rest in the quiet: Spending time in silence has allowed me to experience the calming impact of stillness—it's like a gentle massage for the mind. Meditation has been the gateway to seeking more quiet moments: in the car, during a walk, or while sipping my morning coffee. I can feel the restorative power of a peaceful mind in these moments.

Cultivate compassion for yourself and others: As I mentioned earlier, I'm not one for spiritual thinking, but I do find a sense of compassion emerging through my meditation practice. I recognize myself as a tiny soul in the vast ocean of humanity, deserving of care and kindness. In caring for myself, I feel a connection with others and a shared sense of belonging that transcends daily life. While my day-to-day brain may not fully comprehend it, I can sense the presence of compassion in my meditation practice. And I believe that's a good thing.

Tips to Help You Meditate

1. Permit yourself to make time for yourself: It's easy to fall into the habit of turning to activities that dull our senses, but it's just as essential to allow yourself the time to lean into them. Tell yourself that this time is for you and your well-being and that awareness of self is okay.

2. Start small: I began meditating for just five minutes and was surprised by how quickly I could extend that time to 20 minutes.

3. Use tools to help: I find soundscapes like singing bowls, nature sounds, or guided meditations particularly helpful to meditation. I use headphones and explore the options available through my YouTube music app. It's easy to relax and slip into meditation with these tools. For example, I've discovered Kelly Howell's free guided meditations are quite helpful.

4. Allow your thoughts to come and go: I often think of the hamster racing on the wheel when I view my thoughts at play. If a racing mind has hindered meditation for you, rather than trying to suppress thoughts, acknowledge them and return to your breath or visual imagery, as in the beach scene I described.

5. Prepare your headspace for meditation: Like stretching before exercise, select something calming, such as drinking water or reading a book. Avoid racing mind activities like listening to the news. If you have a busy day ahead or many ideas floating around, list them on paper before you meditate. Set the list aside to acknowledge them and allow your mind to let them go for a time.

6. Remember, it's a journey: Meditation is about improving your sense of well-being, which takes time. In a world that thrives on instant gratification, it's easy to forget that progress is about cultivating patience and personal awareness in the moment. Trust the process, and be kind to yourself along the way.

7. There's more than one way to meditate: Meditation doesn't always look like sitting in silence. For some, walking in nature, the rhythmic motion of washing dishes, or even knitting can offer mindful rest. Silent prayer can also provide solace for those with religious practices.

Find Your Path to Mindful Rest

Meditation isn't reserved for a select few—it's for everyone, especially those who may feel like they don't have time for it. Resting the mind is a rejuvenating experience, helping you build resilience for life's ups and downs. It offers a kind of soothing that mindless activities simply can't provide. Start small, build gradually, and track your progress to experience the benefits for yourself.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: Some affiliate links are below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

The ritual of looking back and planning forward at the beginning of a 12-month cycle seems appropriate, which is why New Year’s Resolutions are so popular. Setting New Year’s resolutions is my way of exerting some control over inevitable change.

I assume many people make New Year’s resolutions this year, just like every year, but when I conducted a mini-survey of my friends and family, I found that most of those close to me do not.

How, I wonder, can you even be excited by life without a plan? Of course, I’m sure many people set goals, but there is something so refreshing about creating them in the cold of January when there is only hope for spring and renewal.

I get people’s resistance, though. The word “resolution” means to make a firm decision to do something. In this way, resolutions are a pact you set with yourself, considering what you can do and commit to do. But I play a bit looser with the meaning, considering them as part resolve and part intention.

Even though we think of New Year’s resolutions as a target to hit in a year, I suggest thinking of them more as the roadmap to your overall direction and giving yourself some latitude. Be determined and plan to accomplish them, but recognize that sometimes those resolutions may go from one year’s list to another.

Over the years, I’ve studied experts' tips on achieving resolutions; some of those ideas have been helpful. However, before you can even consider how to reach New Year’s resolutions, you must know what you want to accomplish.

The purpose here is to encourage you to use this time of year to reset, reflect, and determine how to move forward. These tips may set you up to succeed.

1.       Write down what you’d like to accomplish. Whether you’re an analog or an audio learner, there is something powerful in writing down goals. The tangible act of writing them and then seeing your goals on paper will provide you with clarity. Take the time to establish what you want.

2.       Imagine your life. Put your resolutions away for a bit. I know this seems counter to being productive, but allow yourself time to reflect on your resolutions. Why are they important to you? How do you expect to feel if you accomplish them?

3.       See your life as an adventure. Do you need to clean the kitchen? How fast can you do it? Is there quicksand underneath your feet that you’ll sink in if you don’t put the laundry away fast? Sometimes, just seeing your life in bite-sized, gamified moments will make life more adventurous. Where else in life can you extend this concept?

4.       Make a list of how to fail. What would it look like if you blew reaching your goal? What behaviors would lead to that? Eat a whole bag of chips, drink half a bottle of wine, and binge-watch the entire season of something when you have work to do. If you avoid the fail list, you’re already achieving! This is a clever way to train us to appreciate progress.

5.       You did it, now high five! Success can generate success. Set attainable goals each year. Once you reach one goal, carry that feeling of accomplishment forward by setting another. Above all, celebrate those successes when you reach each summit.

6.       Enjoy the good ideas for success from others. Here are some I’ve found that have helped.

• Do five minutes: Set the timer for five and do as much as possible toward a goal, knowing you can stop when time is up. Often, when I use this method, I work much longer. One case in point is completing this post!  

• Loop Habit Tracker: A free, open-source app for giving yourself a regular thumbs up when you meet your target.

• Intention Paper Ornaments: Put your creativity to use and get insight and motivation with these paper baubles. You can either make them as-is with the instructions included or add a statement of resolution to each. Then, hang them in your house plants or as window ornaments with some yarn to keep them front-of-mind.

Resolutions don’t have to be an annual pressure campaign or a battle with constant defeat. Creating resolutions at the beginning of the year is a handy benchmark for reminding yourself time flies. It’s a way of making the effort to craft your life story because you are worth it.

How are you feeling? Keep track of your mood to see what’s up with you. Check out the mood tracker in our Storied Gifts Shop.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

You've heard the phrase, "Live as if each day is your last." Although there is truth in the sentiment, I don't feel excited thinking this is my final day on earth. If it were, and I knew it, I hope I'd be saying farewells and words of love to those who matter while celebrating nature and simple moments, but I might be in the fetal position.

Recently, I stumbled onto a different tact that gave the perspective a more positive spin while interviewing a person in his 90s. We chatted about his life and realized there were many, many times he could have died during some of his adventures.

There was the time, as a farm boy of the 1930s, when a mule kicked him in the face, knocking him out cold. The country doctor declared that, had the mule's aim been an inch higher, he would have lost all his teeth. Two inches higher, and he would have been struck dead.

We began counting other events, too, including incidents during his years in the Air Force. Then, there were the hours of his life he spent driving thousands of miles on country roads working his business, with numerous collisions and near-miss accidents.

Together we added up at least two dozen episodes that could have been his last. Does this sound like a maudlin exercise? Interestingly, as the client got to thinking about it, he realized something profound and declared how miraculous it was that he is here with 98 years accumulated.

I wondered if I would feel the same as someone in my 60s. I pondered my perilous encounters, too. There was the time the hair dryer almost fell in my bath and another when a semi-truck nearly rear-ended my tiny car. Plus, there were all the other dumb choices I've made in the past that could have gone south.

The exercise drilled home that living is precarious and precious. Life is an adventure none of us signed up for, yet we are here and seem wired to be hopeful.

YOUR ALTERNATE LIFE STORIES

The concept of "almost endings" takes a different turn if you consider the alternate directions your life might have gone had other choices or circumstances occurred. These "ghost lives," as Cheryl Strayed calls them, straddle the lives we are living. Sometimes, people get stuck believing those other life stories would have been better.

The "what might have been" thinking is something we all do occasionally. Psychology Today refers to this as "counterfactual thinking."

Thinking about an alternate universe of your life doesn't serve you, though, unless you recognize that EVERYTHING about your life in this alternate story would have been entirely different as well. And with that other life, there is no guarantee of a better life.

THE DEATH THEME MIGHT HAVE MERIT

Tallying up the times you could have met your end in your past may lead you to gratitude, but wishing for another life means the person you are now wouldn't have existed either. Are you catching a recurring death theme?

These days, looking back and realizing how far I've come and that I'm still here feels like something to celebrate. And contemplating alternate life stories is tantamount to wishing my current life out of existence.

However, recognizing that none of those other lives offer an assurance of a better today is inspiring and puts all the angst over past life decisions into perspective.

As Dr. Ellen Langer explains, it's important to be at peace with your life choices and the path of your life because the decisions you make are "right" for who you are in the present. And, if you have a tomorrow, there is every chance your life story and you will change with it. You don't know how other decisions or directions might have turned out, but you’ve managed to arrive here with all the mishaps and stories of the past, so try to savor the present.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

The total eclipse of 2024 in the Midwest U.S. was upon us, and excited though I was to see it, I was more excited to squeeze into the back seat with my grandkids on what I knew would be a memorable road trip. With my son and daughter-in-law navigating the way, we headed to Missouri from central Iowa.

After half a day of driving, a night in St. Charles, and a morning of hunting down a good place to lay in the grass, we found our spot on the courthouse lawn in Jackson, MO. There was a celebratory atmosphere. Vendors offered grilled food, a musician sang in the background and people mulled around, chatting while monitoring the sky.

An hour before the main event, the sun pierced through the bright sky like a small bead. With eclipse glasses, I could see the moon edging its way into the sun's field. Children, parents, and grandparents mingled as we continued our surveillance. The light around us remained normal.

The sun beamed like a small bead in the sky an hour before the event. With eclipse glasses, I could see the moon edging its way into the sun's field. Children, parents, and grandparents mingled as we continued our surveillance. The light around us remained normal.

Moments before the moon shifted into place, the winds swirled up, the temperature dropped, and an otherworldly darkness began. The crowd went silent as we collectively held our breath.

At exactly 1:57, we all exhaled as we looked up freely at the sunlight's halo around the moon. Applause began softly rising into a crescendo as we all whooped with delight.

At that moment, I felt the sweet spot of awe—of being a small part of something expansive and mysterious, comforted in the wonder of the universe and my tiny place in it.

As we headed home—and for days since—the feeling of awe and its impact stayed with me. I realized that I don't take the time to recognize the awe in my life too often, nor do I understand its value. Here, I explore what awe is, why it matters, and how to recognize it when it comes your way.

Understanding Awe and Its Impact

Merriam-Webster defines the noun awe as "an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime." I think of awe as a heightened emotion, the feeling of wonder and delight in the face of beauty, like being overwhelmed at the grandeur of a natural space.

In an article at Big Think, scientists who study awe and its merits point to astronauts as an example, travelers who observe the enormity of space and marvel at its presence. It's that moment when you acknowledge the vastness of something and are changed by it that makes awe so powerful.

Scientists have found that if you are aware of awe and feel it frequently, benefits include an improved mood, a decreased sense of materialism, and an increased awareness of humility.

But you need not go so far afield as the cosmos to experience awe. Opportunities exist all around you. Here are six ideas to bring more awe into your life.

Ideas to Awe You

1.      From art into awe. Most of us know that art, in all its mediums, provides us with pleasure and purpose. It’s also a profound source for engaging with awe. Especially in dark times, rediscovering that people are still creating art reminds you of hope. Witnessing people who remain inspired to create, especially in group settings like an orchestra or theatre event, demonstrates our ability to align for the greater whole.

2.      Slow down and feel awe in nature. You are a biological part of the earth and all life around you. Take time to be with nature on a walk, in a park, or near a body of water. All the while, take note of the intricacies of the life around you and your presence in it.   

3.      Move in awe. Dance to music, take a movement class with others, or exercise to a workout video. Pay attention to what your body can do, even if limited. You can breathe and feel the muscles of your body as they fire together in complex movement.

4.      Experience awe vicariously. Ask your friends and family to share moments they have felt awe. Hearing stories of others will give you ideas and lift your spirits in the awe around you.

5.      Learn for awe. Learn something new in a small bite or as part of a larger project. New subjects and insights expand how you see the world and your ability to engage with it. Feel the awe in all there is to learn.

6.      Gratitude in awe. Make a one-day exercise of listing reasons you are grateful. In recognizing what makes you grateful, you can catapult to the awe of how much brings you contentment and joy. Even when things are tough, you'll likely be surprised (and awed) by all that is present that makes you feel grateful.

Awe Leads to More Awe

Before the eclipse, I hadn't given much thought to experiencing awe. It was just an emotion I'd been fortunate to feel occasionally. I won't be so dismissive of awe going forward.

If you want to be in awe of your life, slow down and recognize the extraordinary experiences that take your breath away. It's an avalanche of emotion that will enrich you now and compound with benefits into the future of your life story.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

There’s a friend I’ve had since college, and for years we kept in touch annually. We weren’t close friends, but over the decades we acquired the tenure of longtime ones. For much of our history, there was a once-a-year phone call to catch up, plus the obligatory seasonal greetings—which, at some point, suddenly stopped.

I didn’t think anything of the cards stopping because holiday cards have fallen off generally. So, a few years ago when I was passing through Los Angeles (where she lives), I reached out and visited with her and her son. We had a nice catchup over coffee, and I was on my way.

Later, I tried for my annual reach out via email, and didn’t hear back from her. I tried sending snail mail and still nothing. This year, for the season’s greetings cards, I included another letter and didn’t hear back. I assume, without knowing for sure, that maybe I did something to offend her.

If I did something wrong, I’ll never know. And truly, at this point it doesn’t matter. We served a purpose for each other at a time when it made sense, and now it doesn’t, so best wishes and moving on.

A past version of me might have obsessed about the situation, but now I’m viewing friendship through enlightened eyes. Here is what I’ve learned about friends—with the added bonus of how to be a better friend, too.

1. Recognize the friendship status: We forge friendships for various reasons: common interests, proximity, natural chemistry, and shared life experiences. Friends also fall into different levels, from acquaintances to close and lifelong connections.

2. Understand your friendship style: Introverts find their energy in small groups and need more time alone, while extroverts draw energy from being around people often. Your personality type will impact how you make friends, and perhaps even how many you have, but there is no right number except what feels right for you.

3. Keep in mind that friendships change: Our needs and those of our friends are always changing and recognizing that helps us navigate the ebb and flow of friendships.  

4. Focus on what you bring to your friendship: There are friends that come so easily we nearly take the bonds for granted. But other friendships require more time or effort. As you form friendships, keep in mind that your investment is a gift. Decide how much you’ll commit even if you feel it isn’t equally shared. Sometimes, what you give determines your level of growth.

We are all social beings that benefit from some connections. Many ties might not be the deep ones we often crave, but simply getting out with others can help you feel like part of something secure. As I age, I realize that relationships need not be deep or long-lasting to be beneficial. It can be easy to look out and compare your relationships to others but remember that friendships vary from person to person.

My college friend has moved on, investing her energy in the relationships that matter most to her. I’m at peace now because I understand our lives change. I’m glad we were friends in the past. And, going forward, I’ll reflect and consider how to be a better friend to those in my life right now.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

It can be tough finding something memorable to give your mom for Mother’s Day. You’ve done the flowers, the brunch, the candy and card, but now you’d like to give her a gift that reflects that you value her in a new way that she’ll really love.

And, if it is a signature year for your mother (perhaps marking a milestone birthday or other event), you might feel added pressure to give the perfect gift.

Here we outline 5 Mother’s Day gift ideas you can either do yourself or hire us to craft.

The FIVE GIFT IDEAS FOR CAPTURING MOM’S LIFE STORIES

1.       Mom’s book of life stories.

We help families capture and preserve life stories in books. This can be done either with written stories by your mom or through interviews and content we produce based on the stories she tells us in recorded interviews. We work with Mom to craft stories into narrative and incorporate photos into a custom-designed book she will be proud to share with family and friends.

Storied Gifts is a team of professionals with years of experience helping clients produce beautiful life storybooks. If you’d prefer a DIY project for your mom, we share resources to help you get started.

2.       Organize Mom’s photos.

How often have you been to funerals and memorials where photos are displayed or presented in a slideshow? Often, the family has rummaged through pictures they’ve not thought about for years. It’s sad enough that the photos have been left to collect dust, but when the person is gone, the actual value of the stories they tell can be lost, too.

 Storied Gifts offers a service to pull photos from devices and the cloud and scan the older hard ones into one organized system. We can work with your mom to create a timeline of significant events and then use categories — including people, dates, and places — to organize photos for easy access. Plus, your mom and you can enjoy those images and memories now!

If you want to take on the DIY version of this project, we have some resources and ideas to help.

3.       Oral histories and transcripts.

Moms are flattered when their family is interested in hearing their life stories. Bring in a professional interviewer to capture and preserve Mom’s memories through audio and transcript. We have years of interviewing experience to help her recall and tell the details that make those stories sing.

For the DIY folks, your mom will be thrilled if you ask to interview her. Be sure to record the conversation. We offer resources to help with the process.

4.       Photo story video.

These days, we take for granted that we can capture life moments on video, but that has not always been so. In decades past, most people visually archived memories through photographs.

 As valuable as photos can be for remembering, they lose value without the backstory of who, where, and what is happening. As a solution, we offer Storied Gifts Talking Pictures, producing videos featuring signature photos with your mom narrating in a stylized production she’ll be excited to share with family and friends.

For DIY creatives who know the tech of making and editing video, consider this a super idea that Mom will love — and your family will appreciate when you share the finished project.

5.       Children’s Book about Mom.

If little children are in your family, double the gift to Mom by capturing one of her favorite stories and photos in a stylized, custom-designed children’s book. The gift keeps giving every time it’s read to children and will be a keepsake for years to come.

DIY: this project is for you if you have a bit of know-how of a publishing program and can tap into self-publishing platforms.

We are here to help you realize the best Mother’s Day Gift of meaning. And if Mother’s Day creeps up and you need a quick gift solution, we offer gift certificates you can give Mom with the tantalizing promise of life story-telling adventures and the message you truly care. For questions, please contact sherry@storiedgifts.com

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

You’ve decided to write and create a family legacy featuring your family stories. Congratulations! You’re embarking on a rewarding adventure that will leave a lasting legacy for you and your family to treasure.

You’re also beginning a project that will become a source of work for months and possibly years, depending on your willingness to persist.

We know a thing or two about creating legacy family books at Storied Gifts, so here are the eight essential steps you’ll take to embark on this invaluable work yourself.

Here is the flowsheet we share with clients so they understand the process we use. This graphic might be helpful as you follow along.

The First Four Steps

1.       Determine your audience

It might seem obvious but give some thought to your audience and write your book with them in mind. Don’t be disheartened if the interest you’d hoped for doesn’t flourish in your family. A lot of people have to see the project come together before they “get it” and show excitement.

We all become introspective and curious about our family history at different times. Know that your book will be treasured and opened by family now and in the future.

Understanding your audience and their interests can help you craft the content. What questions and considerations might they have about times and people in their family’s past? Describe the relevancies of struggle, success, and connection. We can all relate to those!

2.       Research and interviews

Pull together all the resources you can find and let your family know you’re on the hunt for stories and photos. What stories did Grandpa and Grandma always tell? What stories seem to change depending on which aunt or uncle is telling them?

Dig out family photos and ask people to tell stories they know associated with the photos. Gather groups of a few people together to share memories and bounce stories off one other.

RECORD EVERYTHING as digital audio files that will be the source for your writing later. Here is an Ancestor Profile Sheet to gather pertinent details of more distant family members.

Keep your files and folders organized. A consistent labeling system for everything will be invaluable when you retrieve materials to structure your content.

Select a transcribing service to turn audio files into transcripts. These days, transcription services are often automated, so they are affordable with swift turnaround.

3.       Writing

A logical framework for your book will likely arise as you gather information. Often, a linear progression makes sense when it comes to family history moving through time. Still, you may organize your content into themes such as holidays and pivotal events or focus chapters on particular family subsets.  

No matter how you arrange your book, a timeline of key events for the people highlighted in the stories can be essential to include. It will help the readers place the events and details in perspective and understand the context of overarching events.

1.       Editing

Once you’ve completed writing, you’ll assess your draft and make revisions. Rewriting and editing will seem like an ongoing (perhaps unending) process. It takes a long time, and there are always more changes you can make.

You’ll discover something you’ve left out as you pull together information. Or you’ll see something is out of place and move it or reconsider a story altogether. Give yourself grace and permission to rewrite, and know you’ll decide enough is enough at some point. Even best-seller novels have sneaky typos and incongruencies that readers only catch after the umpteenth read.

 The next four steps, note a theme

5.       Layout

Once you’ve completed your writing and have gathered the images of photos and documents you plan to include, it’s time to determine your design. Start by examining samples of other books you like to decide on the look you want for your book.

Determine the digital tools you’ll use to create your book layout and the printer you’ll use to print the finished piece, too. Several paid-on-demand printers offer design tools, but they can be restrictive in design and somewhat clunky.

Whatever design tool you use, determine in advance what size of book you’ll want, and be conscious of creating your book in a format that will work for that printer.

6.       Editing

This will sound redundant, but as you make layout decisions, be prepared for more revisions. You’ll piece together the material and images and discover a need for a few changes along the way.

7.       Print

You’ve reached the point where all your content is in place and it’s time to print a hard copy of your book. Hit the button to order that first copy, but only one or two because…

8.       Editing

…once you print your book, you’ll spot the glaringly apparent errors you can’t believe you missed. Yes, there will be more editing, the detail-oriented kind that can drive some insane, but don’t let it get to you. Make the changes, print again, and edit once more to call it good.

Note: When you load the cover and interior of a book onto your printing service, order ONE (1) copy before ordering multiple copies from those same files. Believe me, we learned this lesson the hard way!

The Gift You’ve Made

Once you’ve completed the project, it is time to celebrate. Hold a special event with family and encourage their buy-in (literally) by purchasing copies. You have created an heirloom to help your family understand how they are connected and shaped by their shared history.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchases made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

I follow several YouTube creators, such as Anna Uncharted, who reports her life living in a van. From a voyeur's perspective, reducing one's things to the contents of a vehicle and traveling around seems exciting, but I can also imagine the constant unknowns prove mentally exhausting.

 But Anna is resourceful. She takes on all the issues of auto repair and navigating daily life as well as scenic hikes with a smile and a camera. At 60, the thought of altering things so dramatically seems far-fetched. Still, no matter where you are, we can each benefit from shaking the ground beneath us to break the chains of monotony.   

When was the last time you looked at your life with wonder and curiosity rather than as a series of day-in and day-out sameness? By taking on new activities, even small ones, you can freshen up your life story and how you view and live. 

What New Can Do for You

For many, the new year is a time to set resolutions and make improvements. But if that sounds like drudgery, why not try being kind to yourself by inviting in more adventure?

Doing new things, even in small doses, is the kind of medicine that turns ho-hum into more joy in life.

 The benefits of doing new activities more often are many, but here are a few of the best:

 Foster improved brain function: Challenging yourself by breaking out of routine opens your brain to forge new neuron connections and even form new neurons. Our brains gravitate to habits because they require less energy, so when we step out of the ordinary, our brains must fire up more cylinders and do more work. That is good brain exercise.

 Know yourself better: Ultimately, you are your most constant companion. Knowing who you are and developing a positive relationship with yourself is something only you can do. By trying new things, you learn more about your preferences, abilities, and future dreams.

Strengthen your resilience: Life is throwing up change whether we like it or not, so learning how to endure and prevail with it is critical. By intentionally setting out to try new things, you build up your ability to pivot when tough changes occur.

Be present in your present: Truly, the only thing that any of us is guaranteed is the time we live right now. By breaking out of our regular activities, we can see and feel our life more fully as it unfolds at the moment.

Photos clockwise starting top left my efforts to incorporate new activities: 

 Attend a cultural event: February in Iowa is usually cold and covered in snow. I find it challenging to venture out at night and tend to sink into a seasonal funk. This year I’m making a conscious effort to get out more during the winter. A concert is on my calendar!

 Learn a new language: Not quite new in that I’ve tried and failed to learn Spanish in the past, but it’s never too late to try again. Duo Lingo has helped because I could never structure basic sentences in the past! 

 Prepare a new dish: I rely on recipes because I don’t have natural talents in the kitchen. Results for new recipes will vary wildly. I tried Thai Noodles with Spicy Peanut Sauce which I’m sure would have been good with someone more skilled. For me, not so good. 

 Visit new cultural venues: Winter is a perfect time to head to the Botanical Center and escape the cold. You can take a quick vacation by enjoying a museum or other cultural space where you live. 

 An Idea List of New Activities

Go to venues where you live that you don't often visit or have yet to see. Check out local museums, an aquarium, or a library.

1. Take walks on different trails or in neighborhoods you've not visited before.

2. Schedule coffees with people you don't often see or want to get to know. Don't wait for someone else to set a date. You call and schedule it!

3. Listen to new musical artists. A great way to discover new music is to check out the NPR Tiny Desk concerts online.

4. Try new foods. Pick a vegetable, fruit, or a new kind of cheese and give it a whirl.

5. Check out local free events and make a point of attending.  

6. Learn a new language.

7. Try a new craft hobby. I recommend Origami! All you need is paper and video instructions you can find online.

8. Plan a gathering. Form a group to read books or watch films and open it up to new people you don't know. Ask each guest you know to bring along a new friend.

9. Find a volunteer organization in your community and pitch in.

 Rather than focusing on a list of to-dos in your life, try incorporating small new activities in your life more often. By making room for small adventures, you're more likely to refresh your view of your life story as it unfolds and even find the energy to tackle goals for your future.

Speaking of small steps, if changing habits is on your mind, read about how to approach change in mini increments.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

My husband and I were embroiled in a disagreement over a Netflix series for a few days. I tell you this at the risk that it makes me look foolish, but I’ll explain here to make a point.

Our conflict revolved around our failure to settle on the rules of watching. May I begin to fall asleep and then insist I can keep watching while David fumes because he expects to watch the show with someone who is awake?

As is often the case, the details of the struggle had nothing to do with the show but rather the underlying issues we deal with. We both brought our own stories to the fray about ourselves and each other.

The issue boiled down to several thoughts for each of us, the primary one about being a caring partner. We resolved the matter by deciding to go our separate ways and watch the final episodes of the season independently.

More broadly, the whole of humanity is like this. We each float in a bubble of our own stories. We are each a storyteller with our narrative of how we view events.

These stories pack the details we encounter with perceived meaning and elicit the feelings that ebb and flow within us.

Since the emotional reactions to stories are so powerful, it’s essential to evaluate the stories to see if they’re true. Stories, at their core, can inspire and carry us forward…or create a kind of hell in which we wallow.

Here, we offer you some “thoughts” and a tool to quickly reflect and measure the validity of the stories you tell.

Stories Propel Your Feelings

Thoughts are abbreviated stories. Over time, we create these placeholder stories and often repeat them out of habit. These thoughts cycle through ironically without much thought involved at all. Like an old and familiar t-shirt, we pull them out repeatedly in our thinking.  

A shortlist of common thoughts include:

I am capable.

I am smart.

I am unlovable.

I am guilty.

I am confident.

I am selfish.

I am loving.

I am threatened.

Unfortunately, our thoughts are often inaccurate or, at the least incomplete. They still stick, though, because we are so used to thinking them.

All the while, we churn these thoughts—whether true or not—that gin up our feelings. Then we act based on these feelings and the internal stories we tell.

When entrenched in our feelings, especially painful ones, we lose sight that feelings are often fleeting. Unchecked feelings like persisting sadness and resentment can become moods that linger into funks, including depression.   

Find the Source of a Feeling 

If thoughts are the source of feelings, some of them quite painful, that impact our actions, wouldn’t it seem logical to test and see if they are true?

Yes, but it’s not easy to break old thoughts.

I’m working on it myself, and I realize it’s ongoing work that requires smaller steps. However, getting a handle on what we feel and why can bring us back to center with a more genuine version of our stories.

We move through our days, often blinded by our feelings that percolate, yet they propel our actions. Either we can’t pin a feeling down with words, or we don’t recognize its presence.

To understand the source of your feelings, we propose reverse-engineering the cause-and-effect model backward. Start with identifying the feeling, then work your way back to the likely thought cultivating the feeling.

We’ve created a “Connect-the-Thoughts” sheet to assist you in pinpointing the story you might be telling yourself.

With a bit of reflection, you can identify the feeling, then ponder the underlying thought (i.e., story) you tell yourself, and then measure the reliability of the thought.

Thoughts Are Just Thoughts

Not to get too philosophical here, but our ability to think thoughts is an incredible human experience. Each of us has the capacity to create the stories we tell.

Since we do this thinking all the time, we take for granted that the thoughts are true because we think them.

I’m reminded of the movie Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. After facing death many times, finally, Indiana stands before a row of chalices in a tomb, tasked with quickly selecting the holy grail among them. The knight, who has been there to protect the holy grail for 700 years, says to Indiana, “choose wisely.” 

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

News alert: I’m not perfect. Of course, this isn’t news, but it makes the contradiction of receiving criticism an odd struggle. Each of us knows we are works in progress, yet having others point that out can still be a hard pill to swallow.

Call it constructive criticism, critique, or “gentle love,” we need to have an outside point of view to help us see ourselves with fresh eyes.  

I began this episode of The Delicious Story with the premise that criticism is a push-pull concept, a necessary jab to the psyche.

With the help of a panel of women—experts in their businesses and professions—we dig beyond the narrow view of the need/pain paradigm. We discuss feedback as an essential skill set, both giving and receiving it, and how to maximize results.

The Panel of Experts

I proudly highlight successful women who generously share their wisdom in this show. Each comes with a varied background of experiences and brings compelling observations.

Tracey Kelley worked as a corporate manager and now provides writing services on a contract basis. In addition, she has also been a yoga instructor for more than a dozen years. Tracey toggles these areas—both at the organizational and individual instruction-level—where critique is essential.

Jennifer Phipps is a massage therapist who practices out of Des Moines, Iowa. She speaks particularly to building trust with her clients and minimizing chronic pain. Her work can only happen with candid feedback, which she invites.

Celest Rose came from a corporate background in coaching. In 2018 she started a business as a certified body confidence coach and recently earned certification in Integrated Sexuality. Celeste views the subject of criticism through the organizational lens that has evolved with an emphasis on intimate relationships.

Felicia Coe owns Cirque Wonderland Studios and Cirque Wonderland Entertainment. Her performers provide circus arts, aerial arts, acrobatics, and more. On the studio side, Cirque Wonderland teaches the many performance arts of her craft. Felicia works with clients who hire Cirque Wonderland Entertainment for their private and business events as an entertainment outlet. Feedback is essential for both of her business operations.

Clair Williams-Vavra came from the hospitality management field and used her expertise to segue to Sales Engagement Manger with startup QuickHire about two years ago. Harnessing statistical analysis systems and technology, she helps clients recruit and retain the right hires for their businesses. For Clair, feedback has got to be two-way to build trust within her team.

What is Constructive Criticism Anyway?

For many, the word criticism harbors only a negative association, as in being criticized – or berated – by someone. A quick internet search reports that the word critic came from the Greek word kritos which means to judge. Fast forward to the 20th century, criticism developed into a scholarly analysis, providing balanced judgment.  

We think of negative criticism about you or your performance in something like a job review. But the definition of “constructive criticism “focuses on providing helpful guidance, supported by specific examples.

Strong leaders who want to encourage the best from their teams evaluate them based on their efforts and accomplishments first. And more than that, recognize the inherent skills of the individuals involved.

Ready to Give or Receive Feedback? Set the Mood

Still, there is this friction between giving instructive criticism that butts up against an individual’s willingness to accept it in the first place.

To get the full scope of the wisdom our TDS guests offer, take a listen to the podcast, or enjoy viewing the discussion in vodcast mode.

Here are some high points of our conversation:

·         Go to “critique.” If you get bogged down in the word criticism, try another more friendly option. As per Shakespeare, it will smell just as sweet by any other name. Words such as feedback or critique may prove more palatable.

·         Build a bridge of trust. Good leadership requires a level of trust between team members. Providing specific, actionable ideas will land better if the environment is collaborative and trusting. Encourage feedback that doesn’t just focus on the thing that needs change but invites specific actions to reach the goal.

·         Embrace the positives. Trust that people within your organization have strengths they bring to the effort. In seeking to guide, consider the unique qualities of individuals and how to harness their way of learning and communicating.  

·         Check-in with yourself. Ground your feedback with a clear understanding of what you look to accomplish. Make it your goal to speak from a place of empathy, one that recognizes the dignity of the other individual as a priority.

How to Receive Constructive Criticism

You are evolving in who you are, and so is everyone else. With that humble mindset, look to feedback with objective curiosity. Here are a few points to consider.

·         Keep your perspective. Take a bird’s eye view and be interested in the feedback you’re given. Think, “What can I learn here?”

·         Consider the source. Be open to the sources you know and trust for feedback. If the feedback is delivered negatively, broaden your view to consider the messenger. Is there something you might find helpful even if the messenger delivers the feedback poorly, or can you let it go altogether?

·         Note your strengths. Recognize and verbalize your strengths often to counter that insidious naysayer within. It’s so easy to believe the worst of ourselves, even when the feedback is positive.

When people take the time to offer feedback, most often, it’s because they believe we are capable of growth. That’s a good vibe worth harboring.

By viewing constructive criticism as an affirmation rather than degradation, you begin with the wind at your back. Go forth and observe. Do so gently and with the recognition that improvement never ends.

CTA: Get real and humble. We are in this together. Join the Humbly Human movement and wear it with pride.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

I’ve been listening to Pete tell his life stories for almost a decade. Neither of us anticipated our work together would last this long when we started. But now, in his mid-90s, Pete looks forward to talking with me each week, and I genuinely enjoy listening.

Pete has proven – as have many clients – the most potent contribution of life storytelling goes beyond writing notes and organizing and scanning memorabilia to create heirloom books. There is healing in the interaction of telling life stories to an active listener.

When I started working as a personal historian, I quickly realized that for many people, a side benefit of our work creating personal history book was my witness and careful listening as they tell life stories.

The past couple of years of the pandemic lockdown proved especially valuable, where seniors were more isolated. The act of sharing life stories with an engaged listener offers benefits.

We are wired for stories. We are more likely to retain information through the structure of a story instead of a list of facts presented to us. We soak in stories, learning new lessons and amending what we understand about life, with the details weaved together.

The focus of my work has primarily been on the finished product, an heirloom family and personal history book. However, my clients have realized significant health benefits when telling life stories to a trusted audience. Today we highlight the top four benefits of life storytelling that are impactful at any age.

1.       Reaffirms life’s purpose: We each seek meaning for our existence—a driving sense of what we’re here for and what to do in life. Our purpose can change over time because our story is constantly evolving. Celebrating your accomplishments in your relationships, family life, and vocations—helps remind you of where you’ve been and what you want going forward.

2.       Confirms resilience: We have all suffered loss and gone through many transformations. Reflecting on those changes and telling stories of how we navigated the challenges in life reminds us we are resilient: we have gone through hard times and are still standing and can reflect on what we have seen and learned.

3.       Offers clarity: Have you recognized shifts in how you feel about a story of the past overtime? Maybe there was a transgression committed toward you that you thought you could not forgive, but your position on it has softened as you have matured. Or maybe there was a choice you made and long regretted, but you now see the issue and its impact through fresh eyes of wisdom.  

Time does heal. We grow older and see things differently as we live through life’s experiences. By reflecting on your life story through the lens of who you are now, you can gain clarity with your history and peace in your present.

4.       Form Connections: We tell our stories to connect with others. Although the details of our stories vary, there are underlying themes and feelings we can embrace and understand. When we tell a life story, we offer our experience, hoping others will relate. We learn from each other, develop empathy, and form bonds.

The Gift of Life Storytelling to Someone Who Listens

After years of talking (unfortunately sometimes too much earlier on), I’ve learned that providing the gift of careful listening is most significant for others who share their life stories. A teller can realize startling connections in sharing their life stories to someone else who employs an encouraging ear. I’ve witnessed the healing, the clarity of thought and memory.

As a listener, I’ve seen individuals gain insights just from mulling over their memories and telling them aloud. I’ve witnessed eureka-like revelations occur at the moment when a person recalls a life story – slammed by a sudden new understanding. I’ve felt the goosebumps when someone sees their past in a new light.

Of course, you can give the gift of listening to those you know and love, or you can hire a professional personal historian to assist. Often, the outsider, a fresh set of ears with no baggage or expectation, can make an essential difference in life story listening.

A trained life history listener can listen and record without judgment, forming a sacred trust with the client. An objective life story listener lets the client pour out memories and ponder their past.

As a personal historian, I’m focused on the heirloom book as a project goal. However, my role as life story listener has proven vital, too. These days, my shingle is out to serve those who want a trusted set of ears for listening and recording life stories.

It may be that the goal is a book or similar project, but maybe the listening will turn out to be the main point instead. Who in your life would benefit from a life story listener?

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

In the U.S., Mother’s Day began with the best of intentions when Anna Jarvis petitioned to make it a holiday in 1908. She succeeded in 1914, and Mother’s Day was officially recognized marked on the calendar, where it has remained there ever since.

Interestingly, Jarvis later denounced the holiday for becoming overly commercialized after greeting card companies, florists, and candy manufacturers got in the mix. However, the desire to honor our mothers is still with us. If you’ve ever come to a Mother’s Day in May (surprise!), where you had to rush to do something last minute, then take heart. Here we offer you the perfect gift for Mom that gives her what she wants most: time with you.

Your Mom the Woman

In the Albert Brooks movie Mother, there is a scene when Brook’s character realizes his mother has a whole other life that has nothing to do with him. In that moment, he sees the woman who raised him as not only his mother but a person, too.

His mother, played by veteran actress Debbie Reynolds, had a past and a present that didn’t revolve around her adult son. In that revelation, Brooks has an epiphany about personal responsibility for his life and his future.

It’s a great movie and I identify with the moment for Brook’s character because I remember when I “saw” my mother as a person first, rather than as my mom. It’s a view that comes with maturity, a benefit of aging.

For many, the source and fountain of their childhood rests with their parents, and in particular their mom. Understanding more about her past and thoughts will provide you insights into how she raised you.

The Gift of Knowing Mom

So, if you’re ready to give your mom the gift of your time and interest, it is a good idea to provide her with a heads up so she can prepare. Let her know you’d like to chat with her about her memories and maybe even offer some questions ahead of time so she can think about them.

Make an event of your request for time. Ask her to sit down over a cup of coffee or glass of wine and let the conversation flow. Here are 20 excellent questions to spark conversation. Just one might do it!

1.       What is your earliest memory? Why do you think it is still with you?

2.       Describe your parents.

3.       What did your parents teach that you carried forward?

4.       What was important to you as a parent?

5.       Who was your best friend as a young person and why?

6.       What did you like about being a girl when you were young? How did that change as you grew older?

7.       What was something you strongly believed when you were young, that has changed over time?

8.       What did you like about yourself as a young girl? Did that remain or change?

9.       What did you plan for your life in terms of work? Family? Did you stick with plan A or has there been a B, C, and so on?

10.   What did you think being a mother would be like? Did the reality match up?

11.   When did you fall in love for the first time?

12.   How did you feel about your body when you were younger? How do you feel about it now?

13.   (If married) When and how did you meet Dad?

14.   If you could talk to your younger self, what would you tell her?

15.   What is one of your proudest accomplishments (besides me 😉)?

16.   Is growing older what you expected it to be? How is it different?

17.   What do you know for certain now?

18.   What is your favorite book? Why?

19.   What is your favorite movie and why?

20.   What is your idea of a perfect day?

Listen to Your Mom

If your mom has always made the most of her conversations with and about you, exploring your thoughts over the years or decades, then switching it up to listen to her can be a new experience. Your role as a listener will be to step outside of seeing you and her in the mother/child dynamic.

Allow her to speak; remain objective to what she tells you, and you’ll provide a gift that expands who you are, and who you are to each other. By interviewing your Mom, you’ll explore not just her past and yours, but improve your relationship, and become better friends.

For more questions for your parents check out the post 60 Family History Questions to Ask Your Parents.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

Benjamin Moore calls it "White Sand," I call it salvation. It has only taken 20-plus years, but I'm changing out the colors of the bedrooms in our two-story home. The update is subdued and feels like a relief. With the shift, my space reflects who I am at present.

At the core, the objects in our home and our aesthetic preferences reflect our identity. Our stuff comes with the baggage of history and what we bestow on it. Our things are tethered to our stories.

Here we dive into 5 things you can learn about yourself from the things surrounding you and why understanding the stories can help you know yourself better.

What the Things You Live with Say About You

The cloth tote hanging in the closet with the iconic Andy Warhol Campbell's soup cans reminds me of my sister-in-law, who died a few years ago. I'm sure she purchased it from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I think of her every time I look at it, and I appreciate her sensibilities. She was a New Yorker through and through.

The retractable measuring tape on my desk suggests things are always under construction. It also reveals that I can never find one when I want it unless it's on my desk!

The photos nearby of my husband and me remind me of happy times from our past. They also reflect on how we've aged since those times.

If your things could talk, what would they say? What details of your personality and your former self have collected on your "things?" Indeed the clothes you wear, the furnishings you live with, and even the stuff you store – are megaphones of your story.

Here are five ways to consider the stories of your stuff and why you should pay attention.  

The 5 Messages of Your Things

1.       Recognize who you've been. Before the white sand, I'm currently painting the walls; they were covered in bold colors such as blue and purple.

 The blue was what I selected for my son's room. And the purple in the other room was my alternate option to the jet black my tween daughter was emphatic that she wanted. I'm pretty sure I muscled her out of that choice by offering purple.

These bold colors were probably too loud to sleep with each night, but I gravitated to them when I was younger. In the busy noise of youth, piling on more loud seemed fine.

Now, as I've aged, I've become noise averse—gentler colors with fewer wall hangings – seem important. It's easier on the eye and allows more space for my thoughts.

2.       Pinpoint what brings you comfort. The objects I use don't have substantial monetary value but provide priceless comfort. The folded blankets that I pull out on a chilly day, the artwork on the walls with splashes of color and beauty, and the couches and chairs where we relax—these things make the house our home.

Most objects are functional and bring cohesion to your space. The items offer you concrete evidence of your life unfolding—the lamp picked up at a flea market, the bench your dad made years ago. Over time, with use, your daily things shed the price tag spent to acquire them with another kind of value.

3.       Express who you are and want to be. The books on my shelves include journals and others’ life stories that have taught me life lessons. Other books are likely placeholders for interests and goals I desire, but I've not yet picked up.

I read Jane Eyre, my favorite book and literary character years ago. She taught me about tenacity. I remember reading the book, an old copy printed in 1885, I'd picked up at a thrift shop, enthralled with the story.

Nearby, I see Helen Keller by Dorothy Hermann. It will probably sit there unread for a while until I can fit it in between my monthly read for book club. I read at a turtle's pace. Still, I'm interested in this woman and want to learn more about her adult life as an activist.

4.     Realize Impermanence. Things like living beings wear out over time. Eventually, items are replaced or given away when they no longer serve. This reshuffle of stuff is a reminder that everything has a shelf life. The only permeance: impermanence. 

My 2005 Prius continues to provide us with transport. We were industrious when the hybrid battery died a few years ago. Instead of paying the dealer's quote of $4000, we found a company that rebuilds them and purchased one for $1500.

I'd like to think we can drive it for another 15 years, but it may not last that long. Still, it is invaluable to us so long as it runs, no matter its age; growing older adds to its glory.

5.       Identify Your Heirlooms. My husband is an artist, so we are fortunate to have the treasure of his art on our walls. He also has a lot of family art, memorabilia, and photos that document his family's history, going back many generations. I didn't bring any heirlooms to the union.

Someday, historical pieces should move to another generation when others sort through our items, but their significance will be lost without the story. Heirlooms are a particular responsibility. If they don't include their story, they may become trash fodder or fall out of the family tree.

Heirlooms are tricky if they have both monetary and historical value. If the treasure of the object is its story, then it's essential to document it. Check out these Heirloom Story Tags for an easy solution to preserve the story of your heirlooms.

More Than the Things

We ride this wave of emotion regarding things. Indeed, many of us are buried in more than we need, laboring under the weight to manage it.

And yet we have this intimate relationship with objects as we live with them. They serve us and provide tangible access to our lives by way of form and function, as well as pleasure.

Perhaps there is a sense of peace somewhere in the middle of the two "isms" in our first-world culture, a place between materialism and minimalism. The solace may come with recognizing that we own nothing but merely use it for a time. Our attachments are fluid and temporary. But behind every object in our world, there is a story that provides pleasure and offers life lessons.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

Pssst. Listen. Do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell? Then lean in, and I’ll tell you one. For most people, the promise of information that is “hush-hush” is intoxicating.

We want to know—almost need to know—details that seem to put us in the know or give us an edge in the world. We all gossip or have been in circles where gossip takes place. Gossip plays out in families, friends, work, even in politics and other national organizations.  

At its core gossip usually comes with darker undercurrents—emotion laced with fear and judgment. We talk about difficult subjects, frightening stories, the things we can’t talk about in public or give the light of day.

Most of us associate gossip with shame—shame about the information being told, and a kind of shame for ourselves for engaging in it, if it veers malicious.

But fear not about any of the roles you’ve played in gossip. Here on The Delicious Story, we talk with Leah Ackerman, intuit, empathic, and sexual health /wellness coach, about the dynamics of gossip. She talks about us feeling more empowered to redirect our conversation.

Leah spends her time coaching women on how to feel good in their own skin. After years in the corporate world of marketing, Leah found her calling to supporting women. But as gossip is a gender-neutral phenomenon, the tools and ideas shared apply to everyone.

What is gossip and why do we do it?

Per Merriam, gossip is the action of telling a “rumor or report of an intimate nature.” Gossip travels from one person to another and group to group. It is often based on some truth. We spread news (rumor, conjecture, and true details) via gossip with the innate idea of protecting the herd.

Example: so-and-so got food poisoning from X restaurant. We are likely to believe the gossip, in part, because it comes from someone else – and if that person is someone we know, we latch onto the information.

I was ready to go generally negative on the concept of gossip, but it turns out to be one way that news informally spreads. Per the BBC article, “Do We Have Gossip All Wrong?” gossip is a societal tool.

We often share information we don’t feel that we can receive otherwise. As a study in social science, gossip is talk about someone else that involves evaluation of that person, good or bad. The news spreads person-to-person and the community is notified.

But the article does make the point that gossiping often stems from a place of feeling powerless. “…groups traditionally shut out of power and influence, may find empowerment through their own channels and interpretations of the truth.”

Could this gossip thing be the source for people readily believing conspiracy theories and misinformation generally?

When it comes to power, we equate it with more control or autonomy of self. We seek information to verify what we think, and that which we want to believe and have others believe, too.

The Four Agreements Frame of Mind

But when it comes to control, the only thing we have a crack at is influencing how we feel. The news or information aside, it is what and how we believe about ourselves and our place in the world, that really matters.

If we focus our lens to the kinds of gossip that circulate about those in our immediate circles, the activity of gossip doesn’t feel so good. Whether the information we disperse is true or not, an internal moral gut sense often shouts out a “yuck” in our ear, especially when we relate news that is unkind or none of our business.

Whether you’ve been the gossiper or the subject of it, gossip can also reveal pain and helplessness. If we don’t confront that feeling of lacking, we in fact have less power. When you look at gossip and its correlation to pain, it amounts to a whole lot of suffering going on!

Leah delves into her discovery of the informative book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. For her, the message of the book was all about reducing internal suffering. The agreements are listed below, but you can listen to the interview where she provides more context.

Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean about yourself and others. Don’t speak against yourself or gossip about others. Speak only truth and love.

Don’t take things personally. It’s not your job to manage the expectations of others, or to try and control their reactions.

Don’t make assumptions. Ask deeper questions about the meaning of what you hear. Respond with exploration such as ‘what do you mean by that?’

Always do your best. You can change (improve).  Your past behavior was based on the tools and information you had at the time.  You can develop new tools and information in order to proceed differently going forward. Do the best you can to grow and give others that same grace.

What to Ask Before You Engage in Gossip

·         What does the information that I’m relating say about me? What about this is story is triggering for me? What do I feel about this topic?

·         Forgive yourself and forgive others. Repeat often that we are each doing what we can do with the current information and tools available to us. And remember, one person’s weakness may be gossip, but we all struggle with behaviors we want to change.

·         Ask more direct questions of someone sharing gossip. How does this topic make you feel? What’s going on with you. Or change the subject.

·         Set boundaries of conversations for time together. If you know that gossip is a thing in the circle, make it clear you’re trying to avoid it.

What Is Your Take on Gossip?

It’s true we live in a world where gossip (and our opinions about it) travel exponentially in our social circles. However, before talking about others, it is essential you understand what you’re saying and how it impacts you, and others.

Begin with an honest personal assessment of how you feel about the information you’re speaking to or hearing about, and you’re likely to speak from a place of honesty and kindness as a result.

Leah’s contact information:

 Instagram.com/Iamleahack

Facebook.com/leahAckerman

Twitter: @leahack

Leah Ackerman, 515-291-7666

https://linktr.ee/LeahAck

Facebook: PR By Leah A

CTA: Get real and humble. We are in this together. Join the Humbly Human movement and wear it with pride.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

I was swishing through my FB feed the other day, procrastinating by way of a little rapid-fire content, when up popped some images from my past. It was an unexpected jostle of history at a time I was looking for a more mindless distraction.

Fortunately, the unexpected images brought up good memories. But I understand why some people can find the surprise reminders of their earlier posts a little off-putting, I mean, some of us (me) cringe a little at some of our old posts, and never want to go back to them at all.

The poke of old photos can feel like a sideswipe, an uninvited visual reminiscence. And if the images elicit unwelcome memories, well, that is the blow.

But whether you like the FB feature that dredges up images of your past or not, it’s a reminder of the many photos that we capture, and how they chronicle our lives.

Ever since the invention of cameras in the early 1800s, we’ve been documenting our stories. At first, photographers captured significant life milestones such as weddings and group family shots. Later, when everyone held cameras, candid pictures of life came into focus.

Now with the digital age, we use photographs to document every aspect of how we spend our time, from shopping to what we’re having for lunch. Chances are, even if you only pull out your phone to click occasionally, you’re still digitally buried in jpegs.

This deluge of images underscores the quandary: what to do with them all, especially when you add in all the hard copies of pictures we collect. If you’ve lived more than a few decades, it’s likely you have old-fashioned printed photos collecting dust somewhere.

At some point, you’ll want to review all of these pictures, even the ones that make you sad. Organizing your photos can take time and planning, but the payoffs are many.

Here we highlight 4 reasons to create a photo archive system and provide tips to bring order to both digital and hardcopy pictures.

The Benefits of Organizing Your Photos

It happens that, as I write this post, I’m in the process of scanning a client’s hardcopy photos to create a digital database. With more than a thousand images in this project, it still only scratches the surface of the client’s overall load of photos.

As I review the client’s images, I’m reminded of the many shared experiences—class photos, baptisms, weddings, athletic events, and the slew of casual moments. So much to tackle, why go to all the work of creating a photo organizing system? Here are four reasons, along with helpful tips, to help.

1. Find your old photos easily. You went to the effort to document your life in photos. You took pictures of your vacations and countless family events so that you could always remember those good times.

 But if your photos are in disarray, you’ll be digging to find just the right ones. By tagging, labeling, and filing your photos, you will be able to call them up when you have the need or desire to retrieve them.

Photo software does a lot of the heavy lifting to ordering the digital archives that we store on our computers and phones. Facial recognition, dates, events, and numerical file identifiers help us sort and find pictures.

Use these identifiers as the beginning of creating your digital archive system and then extend it to those old hardcopy images. Go with basics such as date, place, who, and where to best sort images.

TIP: Create just one database for your images.

At some point, the photos on your multiple devices, plus older photos that are not digitized, will need to find a home together to review and enjoy them. By creating a single place to house your images and video – an external hard drive or cloud storage – you’ll be able to access them and find what you want easily.

2.       Review your past for themes. Your photos provide you the opportunity to look back at your life and consider important themes that emerge. By examining your past pictures, you can note the overarching trends that have driven you—the people, and the ways you’ve spent your time. 

TIP: Organize your photos by themes or people.

Your photo software can assist in sorting your photos into themes such as holidays and vacations. You can also sort by the significant people featured in your images. Use these to tag and label file names for pictures.

3.       Plan for your future. Your photos offer you a life timeline. You see your life through what you’ve done, what you’ve valued, and the people you’ve known. Celebrate the positives, but also take an opportunity to consider what you’d like to do going forward. Check for cause and effect of past behaviors and if those serve you. What would you repeat? What would you change now? How does our past reflect what you want in your future?

TIP: Create an image timeline with an outline for your future.

Create a visual guide that includes positive points in your past through images and then consider what you’d like to see in your future. Create a vision board curated with your own photos and then dramatize yourself in the future with things you’d like to accomplish. Nothing is so powerful as visual reminders to solidify your goals.

4.       Connect with others. We share a lot of photos on social media feeds with our masses of friends and acquaintances, but when was the last time you sent an image to a specific friend or family member? Once you find nuggets of memories in your photos, take it to the next step and share those pictures with your significant other. Strike up a conversation. Send a text or better yet, print and send photos in snail mail as a gift!

TIP: Make it a point to reach out with the power of photos.

Photo books are so easy to put together with print on demand. Take some of your favorite memories with others and turn them into a printed book to share. Set aside time to sit and look at the book together and relish the conversation in person.  

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

In the past six months, I've transitioned from using YouTube as a tool to help fix my toilet to a frequent source of serious quality entertainment and inspiration. Creators of all kinds offer viewers the opportunity to explore lifestyles vicariously. Experiences vary from living alone in the woods to traveling the world via the highways or the waterways.

There are plenty of opportunities to get distracted and derailed on YouTube. You are beckoned from one video to the next with a nearly frantic feed of options. Personal discipline is essential if you don't want to get lost down rabbit holes!

But I've found numerous YouTube channels worthy for their enriching storytelling and beautiful videography content. If beautiful places and inspirational stories are your thing, then here are six channels that have become my recent favorites. I can strongly recommend them.

#1 Sailing La Vagabonde was my first foray into watching video storytellers at work. Partners Elayna Carausu and Riley Whitelum are an Australian-born couple who have logged over 41,000 nautical miles together, which they've filmed since 2014.

During their seven years, they have kept us posted on their destinations and adventures, sailing the waters of the Mediterranean, Atlantic, Caribbean, and Pacific oceans. Along the way, they birthed a family and upgraded to a catamaran.

La Vagabonde offers a gorgeous oasis of islands and adventures. Once I discovered it, I made it a point to go back and watch their videos from the beginning. Elayna has honed her skills for capturing the moments of their life, while Riley's passion for bringing sailing enthusiasts on board is apparent, too.

You'll get your share of spotting aquatic life, deep dives into the ocean, and visiting tiny islands. But you'll also learn about the grinding work of serious boating and sailboat maintenance, chasing down provisions – even the endless need to do laundry!

The couple and now their two children reflect their authentic nature to people (everyone seems to be a mate), and they understand that their videos touch the lives of many viewers. Not only do they highlight the gorgeous views and experiences as they sail, but we also meet interesting people who are part of this sailing community world.

#2 Kylie Flavell, who hails from Australia, explains that she is a magazine writer and editor, filmmaker, and passionate storyteller. I'd go so far as to call her a gifted cinematographer, creating visually stunning work on film.

The distinction is essential here between cinema and video. Yes, YouTube creators upload endless "video" content, but that word isn't enough for Flavell. She has a brilliant aesthetic sense for capturing the gorgeousness of subjects on film, as well as breathtaking landscapes and splendid foods.  

I stumbled onto her while watching another YouTube creator and was immediately taken in by her sumptuous visuals of Italy. It was then that I learned she is a seasoned traveler with film footage of other locations, including South America, Morocco, Thailand, and many places across Europe.

I have yet to go back and watch her earlier work as I bask in Italy, including cooking episodes in her home and the enticing details of her journey in the Italian countryside. She recently married an Italian, and they are renovating a country home.

At first, I found Flavell's breathy voice and passionate enthusiasm a jab at my somewhat cynical nature, but she has lulled me into her worldview. As she puts it, she is "someone who believes in kindness and beauty and the power of believing in yourself and your dreams." You deserve to spend time languishing in Flavell's stories.

#3 Christian Schaffer describes herself as an outdoor adventure photographer. She also is part of a movement of people who live full-time on the road, traveling and living in a built-out van. Schaffer tours and captures scenic areas across the continental United States.

Schaffer's talent for capturing the awe of American landscapes is evident in her films, which feature epic moments of exciting scenery that she encounters. In between presenting these stunning views, she takes time to chat with her audience about day-to-day life as a nomad. She details the how and why of her experiences traveling and living in a van, offering tips for anyone who might consider taking such a leap.

Unlike other YouTubers who ponder and pander to the platform's algorithms and sometimes express the pressure of the constant need to feed their channel, Schaffer is unapologetic about her somewhat relaxed schedule for uploading new episodes.

Schaffer's approach has not hurt her following at all. She has consistently grown since I've been watching, sitting at over 133,000 followers as of this post. And viewers subscribe for good reason; Schaffer is so calm and forthright about her story, and she delivers such beautiful footage. It's nature candy for your spirit.  

#4 Kelly Stamps dubs herself a storyteller, and in YouTube speak, she does this by posting vlogs about her life as a single woman living on her own. Stamps makes the most of her videos primarily in the confines of her home, yet they are pretty engaging. In large part because of her bright humor.

Not only is Stamps funny, but she is also deeply insightful, impressive given she is only in her mid-20s (I don't mean to sound condescending. As a woman of 60, I'm super-impressed, as I know I was not that together).

In Stamp's episodes, we learn she likes minimalism, tiramisu, and talking into her spatula. She is also on the move, changing locations from Manhattan to Boston and now Texas. Stamps considers herself an introvert, albeit one who likes ice skating and is working toward her pilot's license.

I am a part of her "Stampede," a fan base that dramatically grew from 100,000 subscribers in May of 2020 to 600,000 by December of that same year.

#5 The Purple Palace is the world of artist Shayna Klee who lives in Paris. Her vlogs often take us on walks visiting the sights and sounds of the city that she loves. However, Klee's best moments occur in her apartment or art studio, where she talks about her thoughts and inspirations. And particularly about her life.

There was the breakup with her long-time boyfriend, her experiences completing art school and the nightmare neighbor in her apartment building. Often, Shayna breaks out with funny takes on her situations with dancing and singing, too.

Klee strives to find inspiration in painting and creating work in multiple mediums such as music, poetry, and film. She walks us through her process of working out her internal dialogue of doubt.

Shayna's approach to her vlog is to share her broad creativity and be a friend as well. When we are on the move in her stories, we may stop for a hot chocolate and croissant or dance with friends at a party.

Shayna speaks to artists and anyone who aspires to reach for a better life who may find her insights helpful. And if you happen to love Paris, then you'll find it here as well.

#6 Cecelia Condit is an artist who creates stories on film of "heroines whose lives swing between beauty and the grotesque, innocence and cruelty, youth and fragility." Each of her films tells a tale, the kind of storytelling that leaves the viewer considering what they've seen for its deeper meaning.

Condit's films have been shown internationally at festivals, museums, and "alternative spaces." Her work represents the kind of film installation pieces that always lure me in when I find them at art museums. I watch and re-watch, trying to appreciate the process and the compelling nature of the subjects at play.

Condit explains she is "storyteller working within the psychological landscape of contemporary fairy tales, dreams, and poetry." Indeed, as I watch a piece, I find myself grappling intentionally about important topics in a new way.

There are only 17 films currently available on Condit's channel. One of my favorites is "Possibly in Michigan," which features women shopping in an empty mall while being stalked by a monstrous man. It is a horror account about violence against women, featuring a catchy melody. The artist describes the film as "a short musical horror story." Created in 1983, the film has more recently gone viral via Tik Tok.

Check Out the YouTube Universe for Storytellers

My list of subscriptions to YouTube channels has grown in the past year. I have discovered the remarkable level of originality and the high quality of the creators making content. Of course, I still seek out those how-to videos when I have a DIY project on the docket, but there is so much more. In fact, there is enough excellent storytelling by YouTube creators I've pulled back on my streaming services and created a channel for Storied Gifts. Look for me to learn and improve the Storied Gifts channel in 2022!

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

Have you ever looked out on the world (listened to too much news) and wondered, "why can't people just get along?"

We all want roughly the same things: a happy life, experience love and family, prosper and live. But we all seem ready to roll over others to achieve these goals, desperate in our feelings of lacking.

Indeed, global peace and recognizing each other's shared needs and desires seem unimaginable. It is easy to feel hopeless and powerless in that reckoning because even many of our close relationships are at odds. Our country seems more at war within in recent years, and the fighting spills over into families. We've lost sight of each other while entrenching ourselves in our camps.

Do you feel that tug of toxicity – from entrenched opinions about thorny subjects like religion and politics – with some people in your life? I do. But wait, we must have some influence, if not on the world stage, at least in our backyards with family and community.

Our families are a microcosm of humanity, a path to understanding our bonds to the larger world. Through family and friendships, we gain insights into how to be humane. So, when intimate ties crash, we can feel lost not just in who we are but also in what purpose our lives even serve.

If you've struggled to find peace within and without, this episode of The Delicious Story is for you. Here I chat with Elena Greenberg, a practicing attorney, mediator, and professional mentor.

Elena walks us through steps and ideas to help us find common ground and harmony with family, not just for the holidays, but the long haul, too.

Our Separateness 

We are each unique in our views of the world. You've probably realized this when you've shared an experience, witnessed an event, or even read the same book with others and noted that you don't "see" the facts or their meaning the same way.

We each interpret the outside "reality" based on our prism of life knowledge and prejudices. And the truth of the variations of perspective is that sometimes objective facts become irrelevant. Often, two people can't agree on what is, infact fact. We become stranded in subjective opinion instead.

And what's more, the person you are now and the opinions you hold dear may not be relevant later as you grow and change. Thus, you can't be certain that the opinions you believe today, will be yours by tomorrow.

So, in theory and based on experience, we get that we're different. And we either come to terms with the differences, find them exciting or unimportant or deny they exist at all. We often seek those we believe are the "same," because differences can cause us internal stress.

When it comes to strongly held opinions, like those of politics and religion, we become entrenched in the "facts" (code for opinions) that we believe even at the expense of important relationships. And the more we insist on our rightness, the less we hear or seek to understand any other point of view. Growth is not possible.

Finding Our Common Ground

I've been thinking a lot about estrangement in families lately since I've read Karl Pillemer's book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them. Throughout the book, he interviews numerous people experiencing estrangement from family members.

Pillemer suggests that these fractured bonds don't serve us and leave holes in our family ties that impact generations into the future. He also tells stories of those who decide they want to end the estrangement.

Reconciliation hinges on a few points. To mend, all involved realize that the past disagreement is no longer critical. They also recognize they don't require an apology for an old wrong. And ultimately, the path to a relationship lies in going forward.

If you've been teetering on the brink of fissures in your family because of toxic topics, try to turn a corner for the holidays and beyond. Elena offers some tips for guidance.

1. Recognize nobody's opinions are going to change. Straight up acknowledge that you don't wish to change your opinions, and neither does the other party. Lower your bar of expectation. Search for topics where you're less invested and more aligned and discuss those.

2. Stick to doing things together you enjoy. My husband's family used to put on elaborate dinners where we'd eat and then finish up discussing topics for hours into the evening over fine bottles of wine.

On the other hand, my parent's family gathered a couple of times a year and largely didn't say anything I considered to be of substance. Instead, we played Trivial Pursuit and other games. For years, I didn't get why this was their choice. But now I see the wisdom. When you don't have a lot of topics of interest in common, playing games is one way to enjoy time together and have fun.

3. Set boundaries for the time of the holidays. Allow room for discussions later. Elena explains that setting boundaries for a family event doesn't mean we can only talk about the turkey and the pie. It does mean determining when other more challenging subjects are best to discuss.

You can set aside time to talk about issues you want to talk about, but agree that doing so during dinner, for example, will not help you all enjoy the time together.

4. Determine for yourself what it is you want to accomplish by gathering as a family. It's a good idea to establish your goals for the family event and then check in often if you feel yourself slipping into a mood or veering toward a topic that will derail that objective.

The challenge is to gracefully ask Uncle John, for example, in a patient way if we can table a conversation for a time other than dinner. How would you ask Uncle John to shift to another subject?

5. Be curious. When you do open up to discuss difficult topics, spend more time listening and repeating back what you hear. "Tell me more" is a lot more inviting than "no, you're wrong!" We all want to be understood. A barrage of facts or arguments where neither party is actually listening is not going to make understanding possible.

 You’re On a Quest!

 Be objective, listen actively. (Yes, this is a massive shift and a challenge) Put on your scientist's hat, and look at the situation as if you're tasked with studying it.

 You can benefit from learning what is driving someone's opinions beyond the facts. Why do they feel as they do? Try to understand the feelings of the other person: they are more important than the facts themselves.

 There is no doubt that many of us feel stressed about the cultural dialogue we hear and talk about these days. But bickering about facts and disassociating with family and friends is not going to solve problems or help you even feel better.

Personal bitterness is a road to personal suffering. Strive to understand yourself and others. Make connection on common ground such as shared feelings the goal. Practice the tips here, and not only will you enjoy your family and friends more, but you'll also feel more hopeful about personal circumstances and the world outside of your control.

To learn more about Elena Greenberg and the services of mediation she provides via Iowa Mediation Services you can check out her link.

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here.

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.

Disclosure: There are some affiliate links below, and I may receive commissions for purchase made through the links in the post. However, these are products I highly recommend. I won’t list anything I haven’t tried and found personally useful.

I help people piece together their family memories and share them with those who matter the most. These projects turn into books that can take time to write and produce, as they cover a large collection of family events and milestones of togetherness.

 I’ve long thought about the irony of this work capturing family stories, in relation to my own family history. My family stories of childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood include brokenness, of relationships expected to be close, but that fell apart.

 I’ve learned some universal truths about families in the years of listening to others. There are always stories of joy, stories of triumph, and naturally stories of sorrow. And even if the details vary, the feelings are relatable for us all. But one kind of story which doesn’t get much light – is the one about family estrangements.

I’m thinking of the broken ties beyond those of dissolved marriages, which are certainly plenty painful. The stories I’m referencing are those splits that occur between one sibling from another, or an adult parent from a grown child, or the disconnect of extended family such as grandparents and cousins.

 I know personally that broken families exist, and many families have the skeletons of dysfunctional and damaged relationships in their history. In the book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, sociologist and author Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. sites that “25% of people live with some kind of family estrangement.”

However, in my experience of hearing family stories, fractured relationships do not come up often. And I think I know why: our stories of separation from family are not just painful, they are also deeply revealing.

Family estrangement highlights the unpleasant qualities within families such as resentment, competition, and other long-held conflicts. Family brokenness is the personal “dirty laundry” people don’t like to air.

I live with the remnants of estrangement from my genetic mother. And now that I’m 60, and she is nearly 80, I accept it will likely remain that way.

But along my journey of brokenness and through the many stories of my clients, I’ve picked up some thoughts and lessons I’d like to share with you. Fractured families are difficult stories – but opening up about them, and digging deeply into how you feel, can help you heal and deal with the challenge.

Severed Relationships, You’re Not Alone

Recently, my book club discussed The Foundling: The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me, by Paul Fronczak. One of the themes of Paul’s story delved into the alienation he felt with his adoptive family (a detail he would only discover later). The situation evolved into estrangement once a family secret was revealed, and his true identity was discovered. It’s a good read which I recommend.

As we talked about the book, I was surprised to learn how many people in our small set could relate to the story of fractured families. I realized immediately that while we’ve adjusted to the pain of divorce in marriages there is something uniquely distressing about separation from parents, siblings, and extended family.  

We’ve all likely heard or experienced some of the events that cause riffs in family. Long-held issues of disagreement between siblings, a parent who can’t accept the lifestyle of an adult child, and the notorious fallout from dealings of inheritance are all common factors that lead to estrangement.

The True Damage of Brokenness

In the heat of a pivotal last-straw moment, the immediate cathartic response to an ongoing war with a family member may be to break off all contact. However, it turns out that the decision to split comes at a cost that ripples into the future of everyone, those involved in the conflict and those who are not directly.  

I’m reminded of the classic scene from the movie Avalon when the one brother, who always keeps the family waiting for Thanksgiving dinner, comes to the annual event late as usual. Once he realizes they’ve cut the turkey without him, he explodes. ‘You cut the turkey!?’ He was not important enough to wait for, and he decrees that he’ll never return.  

The estrangement plays out in the rest of the film by changing the dynamics of the once quite close family to a more modern and disconnected one. Where in the beginning the aunts, uncles, and cousins lived close together and counted on one another, in the decades the members disperse and lose their traditions, their contact.

The movie embodies a cautionary tale about the fragility of family and our inherent belief in its importance. We count on that unit to establish our sense of self and our understanding of the world.

The family is the microcosm where we learn to forge relationships. When the core group of people with whom we share blood and history is not solid, the impact spills over into our connections with the larger human family.

The knee-jerk response to fractured families is alarm because it disrupts our primal understanding of what family means. Without our tribe we are exposed and unprotected in the world, we may feel like sheep waiting for wolves to lurch in.  

How to Cope with Family Estrangement

Family misunderstandings and misdeeds can lead to serious disagreements, hurt feelings, and both physical and emotional separation. In the fray it’s easy to remain steadfast, thinking that disconnection is the only solution. But time and perspective can help dilute the impact of the old story to replace it with a new more reasoned one.

Here are some important things to consider if you’re dealing with brokenness in your family, how to mitigate it, and how to deal with what you can’t control.

1. Address and seek mediation right away if you can. I can’t tell you the number of times I wish I’d had an impartial person to help me navigate through emotional turbulence. When the sh*t hits the fan and you’re at an impasse with your feelings, talk it through with a professional.

If you accept that in an emotionally charged state you might not be thinking clearly, it makes sense to bounce off your feelings (which are yours and legit) with an objective source. Come up with a reasoned plan to deal with the issue as soon into a conflict as you can. These days we have more options than ever to find support with online talk therapy services.

2. Take time to reflect because it’s likely you’ll change. How many times have you believed the ideas you think, the circumstances you live in, and the person you are is resolute and will not change? Of course, we understand that we’re always changing – but we don’t usually consider our future self in the choices we make today. The most impermanent thing is who we are right now, so It’s okay to establish a vacation from someone without being rash and separating permanently.

3. Rephrase the story. In the short-term a self-righteous sense of being right and being the victim in a story may feel like justice. But there is often more meaning to a story than the one we may keep repeating in our head.

Can you ponder alternative rationales for the behaviors of others? Is there a broader view of the story that would serve you better than remaining bitter?  

If we replay our story of anger and resentment over and over in our mind, it’s easy for the story to stick and not allow for a different perspective. Step back and ask more questions and reflect on other possible versions of the story.

4. We are where we’re at. We each live in a separate bubble of reality. We are limited in our perspective by how our senses take in information and how we process it based on our experiences.

By humbly embracing our humanness, we can step back from the abyss of judging and acknowledge we are each operating based on alternative views of the world. The only thing you can change is your view. Ask more questions. Be curious and open.

 I love Maya Angelou’s quote, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

Postscript: When things seem out of control like it feels these days, acting where we have control is a comfort. Cleaning up your stuff is within your power! If you need help getting going on organizing your home check out Get Organized Gal’s courses for support.

I used her course to organize my office, and it is in pretty good shape these days. Success in one space has lead to cleaning channels to other rooms and photos as well. Check out he courses here. 

Sherry is the founder of Storied Gifts a personal publishing service of family and company histories. She and her team help clients curate and craft their stories into books. When not writing or interviewing, Sherry spends loads of time with her grandchildren and lives in Des Moines, Iowa.

STORIED GIFTS SHOP

Need a beautiful infusion of inspiration for your storied life? Please check out the Storied Gifts Shop where the theme is Words of Encouragement.

The shop is a mother and daughter venture for Sherry and Alexandra Borzo of Content In Motion. They both work to help their client's stories sing. The shop is their effort to inspire a focus on healthy minds for everyone through positive thought.

LET’S BE FRIENDS

Please like the Storied Gifts Facebook page. We offer tips and inspirations to help you tell your stories and live a storied life by harnessing your healthy mind through the power of the thoughts you choose.