ActiveMama.com is my new mommy blog, a personal blog distinct from the one I’ve kept to date with my husband here at blogaholics.ca. Ok, barely kept up to date. However, since becoming a mother, and deciding not to return to full-time work, I’ve felt like I’ve been bursting with stories to tell about parenthood and about Aiden, as well as about the products we’ve been using. It didn’t feel like blogaholics was the right “home” for that content.

So, ActiveMama was launched! The name came out of the fact that Aiden is, by some fluke, a “social” baby. It took me a while to realize this fact. He likes to go out every day. To see other babies and people, to try new things and to generally have new experiences. So, we lead an active lifestyle to satisfy his personal needs. It has, by extension, made my life quite an active one too!

I hope you enjoy this new blog and following along with our journey as Aiden grows up!

Yeah, motherhood is great. I love my baby. But I had NO idea that you have to teach a baby how to sleep. I mean, seriously? Sleep? We all love it, so why is it so hard?

Well, first off, the idea of teaching a baby to sleep is a Western thing. All over the world parents sleep with their babies and yeah, some of those babies are hard ones likes ours. But the parents deal with it. There are often extended families to help. That’s just how it is. The concept of cribs, nurseries, "self-soothing"… all Western.

So, why did we have a problem? Well, we don’t live with a houseful of support and a mother simply cannot function off of 1 hour cycles of sleep. At least this mother couldn’t.

At 2 months, still in colic mode, Aiden decided to make things worse by taking his lovely 2-hour naps and cutting them into 30-45 minute chunks. Suddenly, mommy’s nap time was gone. Poof. I stopped functioning.

Ok, I was probably a little resentful already of how hard it was for us to get Aiden to fall asleep. Colic is really difficult to deal with – hours of crying or at least high-level fussing every night. After a while, you do whatever works. That was the boob. Now, this was a problematic thing, given my at-the-time low-milk-supply. Aiden would get frustrated, I’d get frustrated. It was a mess. But it was the only thing that worked, so you put up with the screaming and just keep at it. Eventually sleep would arrive. Ahhh.

We gave up on the bassinet after about 5 weeks – that resulted in even less sleep as we tried to gently place the sleeping baby in the bassinet… it never worked. At first, I tried to sleep sitting up. Ha! Not so restful.

So, there I was, lying in contorted positions all night, my shirt pulled up and boobs spilled out feeding Aiden every 45 – 90 minutes. All night. And nearly continuously as morning approached. And it got worse as the weeks went by and our overtired baby couldn’t fall asleep at all for his afternoon naps. Despite LOTS of trying. Eventually he wouldn’t fall asleep unless I took him out. Every day. Still, that afternoon nap was hit or miss. Then the morning nap got sketchy too. I could only walk so much with the carrier for missed naps (carrier and sometimes stroller would usually get Aiden to nap). I was too tired for it.

I hit a few walls, had a few meltdowns, read many sleep books, dozens and dozens of websites and forums, and decided I was still confused about the whole sleep thing. How the heck do you teach a baby to sleep?

In BC, the nurses are taught to tell us to slowly teach a baby to go to sleep on his own by putting him down drowsy then down awake. They don’t mention how to do this, of course, so we’re left to our own devices. Hence the obsessive reading.

Well, I had too many questions, so we bit the bullet and paid for a sleep consultant (seriously, a very reasonable fee). There are a few out there in Vancouver.

If you’re going to go through "sleep training", you can pretty much expect all methods to have some crying. The training methods simply differ to the extent of the type of involvement the parent has after the crying has begun – do you pick up the child? do you pat? do you stay in the room, leave, do both?

So, I won’t give you the ins and outs of our method. You can ask me in an email, if you want to know. I was nervous. Excited. I felt like both a good and a bad mother. OMG, I’m going to let my baby cry! But I’m giving him the gift of sleep, right?! So, it was a mixed set of emotions. Ianiv was my rock through all of this, supporting me and our choices.

Finally, finally!, sleep would not be my sole responsibility. Yahoo! Dad got to be the one to put Aiden to bed and check on him. I just had to feed Aiden when it was time (you mean my breasts would be only for feeding? Crazy!). We started with bedtimes only. I cried like crazy. But 12 minutes in, and it was over. He was asleep? WTF! It took ME longer to do that with breastfeeding. I felt elated and annoyed. Mostly elated. Of course, he woke up a lot that first night. And for a few nights. But each time, he went back to sleep faster and woke up fewer times. He slept a 7 hour stretch after just a couple of days! If only I’d known he was capable!

About a week ago, we started nap training. That process is still ongoing and will take much longer. Aiden is sleeping in his own crib, 4-5 naps per day at 30-45 minutes each (shorter for his last nap). He falls asleep quickly if caught at the right time. He even slept once without crying. The hardest part of nap training is trying to teach him to return to sleep after that short nap. He should be sleeping 1.5-2 hours for 2 naps. We spend an hour each morning working on that. Haven’t had any success so far. I know he’s capable (I’d had some success with breastfeeding him back to sleep), but he doesn’t get it yet. We’re told it could take several weeks. So, we work on it. But we’re positive we’re doing the best thing for Aiden.

There were nights where things got worse, and still he cries. We are on the path, though, and it’s a good one. We chose the right time for us to start this. Ianiv & I felt like we were ready and, perhaps more importantly, we felt like Aiden was ready. Like he knew we loved him and that he had no issues that would confuse us in the process (like gas pain crying). It was the best choice we’ve ever made, as parents.

So, here we are. We spent 3x as much on our stroller as we did on our sleep consultant. And if I had to choose, I’d rather carry Aiden around 24 hours a day and have SLEEP than a stroller. It’s priceless. Seriously. You never know it until you’ve been sleep deprived for months. And until you’ve dealt with a baby who has also been sleep deprived for months!!

Though at night we may be tired because of his colic, we are treasuring every moment with our little prince. Every day I get out for a long walk with him and get to watch him as he discovers the world a little more each day. It’s amazing to see everything from the perspective of a parent.

I hope 2009 has brought some measure of joy to each and every one of you!

Here also is our birth announcement card, which was also just completed in time for Christmas. Both cards were created with Little Star Greetings.

See all Aiden photos here

On October 23, just as I was going to bed, my water broke. I wasn’t sure at first, so I kept waiting for labor to start. No luck. By 6am, when I was sure my water had broken but labor hadn’t started, we went to the hospital. They assessed that the baby was ok and asked me to return when they had more nurses. Because my membranes had ruptured prematurely, I had to be induced into labor.

At 1pm, I was put on the oxytocin drip. By 8pm, labor was still pretty manageable… because my body hadn’t started laboring on its own yet. Within 2 hours, all that changed. After being on the maximum drip for 30 minutes, my labor kicked into overdrive. My contractions became painful and back-to-back, almost no down time in between. The drip was stopped but my body kept up the same pace. Being only 3cm dilated at the point, and having such intense contractions, I opted for the epidural. This was not something I wanted to do, but I’m glad I did. Thankfully there were no complications as a result. Just 3 hours later I was ready to push and an hour later our baby was born! Within a half hour he had latched on and was a loud and happy baby.

Through the night, while recovering from the labor and epidural, we learned to take care of our baby. And tried to come up with a name. We had a short list, at the top of which was Aiden. It was the one name that Ianiv & I both independently put on our individual lists and it still felt right. One of the other names on the list was Riley and, when reviewing the list, it stood out to Ianiv. When I heard it at this point I instantly thought it should be a middle name, and so we quickly landed on Aiden Riley for our new little boy.

We stayed in the hospital until Sunday afternoon then returned home. Ianiv’s mother and sister both stayed with us at this time to help take care of Aiden – and us – as we adapted to our new family. It was great to have the support. Aiden has been a wonderful baby so far – very alert, very strong. He could roll onto his side from day 1 and can hold his head up for quite some time! Amazing to watch him grow and learn.

Though we got off to a good start with breastfeeding, that has remained our largest challenge to date. Aiden is a very good breastfeeder but my milk supply has been slow to come in. His weight dropped quickly after we returned home and he’s yet to return to his birth weight, which is past when he should have done so. Partially this was due to his placid nature, but partially it’s just difficult to monitor his weight at home. We have had some nurse visits, but they are swamped with H1N1 stuff, and community drop-ins are not every day. It was therefore a few days before we realized he still needed formula. Now he’s back on track and should resume his growth pattern within a couple of days. But oy, so stressful! Meanwhile, we’re doing everything we can to get up my own milk supply – lots of fluids, good food, pumping, Domperidone, fenugreek and nursing tea. We’re trying it all. Right now I’m producing about half of what he needs. Hopefully that improves soon.

Aside from these hurdles, we’re adapting well to life as a family. Aiden has already been out for coffee twice! Any surprises there? ;)

At 37 weeks, John Biehler came over and did a maternity shoot with us. The full set is here. It felt great to have the photos done and to enjoy the beautiful aspects of pregnancy. Thanks John!

Of course, it’s not all beautiful at this stage in the game! Aside from the excitement of soon meeting our son, there’s also anxiety, nervousness, frustration and so much more. Waiting these last 2 weeks has been very difficult. We take it one single day at a time and slowly we move forward. We just want to finally be in labor! Who ever thought I’d look forward to pain? But that’s how it is.

So, we still have no idea when baby will make his appearance. My doctor, and many researchers, believes that the baby sends out a chemical signal to trigger labor when he/she is ready. No matter how ready your body is, baby sends that signal. So, for now we wait. Anxiously. ;)

My doctor’s exam this week showed that the baby’s head was “very low” and indications were that I was presenting at around 38 weeks. This means that I will probably deliver at or before I am 40 weeks pregnant, but not after (as is statistically more common for a first pregnancy).

This is definitely exciting news! If anyone has seen me within the last week, you would hear me say, without doubt, “I’m done.” The pregnancy definitely hit a difficult place. Though I was able to breathe better when the baby dropped a couple of weeks ago, I have had a harder and harder time sleeping. Partly due to the “light sleeping” the pregnant women go through to “prepare for baby” (what a load of crap that is, don’t we go through enough??) but mostly due to discomfort. I have severe pain near my pelvis / hip joint, particularly on the left side (the side I have to sleep on) and, due to swelling and this side-sleeping, issues with my arm pain have resurfaced. In the morning, I have a fair amount of nerve pain in my hand which restricts me from even being able to make a fist.

Speaking of swelling, I’m really looking forward to dropping that! It hasn’t been “horrible”, in terms of aesthetics, but I do have lovely white splotches all over my legs and now on my arms and hands too from this excess water. The bonus will come when my weight drops quickly from all this water dissipating after the baby is born! And, of course, I’m looking forward to wearing shoes other than my Birkenstocks (the only shoes that have fit for months).

So, I’m definitely ready for baby to come! That said, there are things I know I’ll soon miss. Despite how ‘aggressive’ the baby has been with his kicking and squirming, I know I’ll miss this special time with him. It’s a very amazing process and connection to be a part of. Yes, pregnancy is difficult. But it’s also absolutely amazing. To feel him kick and move his little bum around, to see him respond when Ianiv talks to him or to feel all his little bouts of hiccups… just so cute.

Here’s a question I get asked a lot… Do I have cravings? Well, not for anything “weird.” Early in the pregnancy, and still a bit now, I’ve enjoyed lemons and limes (and lemonade) more than usual. For me, it helped with nausea (though I only had very mild first trimester issues). Now, I’d say that things I really enjoy are simply “enhanced” and the need for them becomes more urgent. More often than not I’ll crave french fries or ice cream or a muffin. However, I’m easily swayed by something I see on tv or hear about. If someone mentions Thai food I can crave it to the point of distraction, for example. That said, Ianiv has been a lucky husband – he’s rarely had to go out for any special “craving” trips. ;)

Since early on in the pregnancy, the first trimester, Nala started to sense something was different, and it began to make her anxious. There’s no conclusive evidence that cats can sense pregnancy, but they can definitely pick up on cues, like your behavior changing. Who knows what she sensed.

We always knew this would be a difficult thing for her. Nala is MY cat. 100% attached to me and only me. About 4 years ago, we got a second cat. Partly we were hoping that would help her separate from me a bit, to know that she can share me. Well, that was an interesting experience. She got very sick for several weeks, requiring medication in order to help her keep down food and water. We worked through the process with behavioral training and by using Feliway. Still, she was very hurt and distant for a long time. It was a year before she sat on my lap again and much longer before she fully trusted me again. Going away for business or vacations helped her to realize she was being silly, actually, and each time she became more pliable and cuddly again.

Back to now. Nala began to exhibit signs of her stress early on, and they only got worse. She was grooming excessively, had litterbox issues, was losing weight, was demanding food constantly (including twice during the night) and overall seemed to be in “panic” mode about everything. If I even went into the baby room she would meow frantically.

Nala was not getting any less attention, though what we’d read suggested to prepare her for the baby by spending a little less time with her. That obviously was out of the question. We also found that getting mad at her for any issues, such as waking us up at night, was only making things worse. Stopping that, and placating her instead with lots of attention, was only somewhat calming her.

Of course, we were worried about how all this would progress once the baby was actually born. We’d tried all the behavioral modifications before and the process of getting Guinness was still very traumatic for her. We got all the baby furniture in place as soon as possible to reduce her stress, but obviously that didn’t matter.

So, after Nala had a full series of medical tests to rule out any other causes of her behavior, we opted to medicate her. It’s been 3 days. At first, her dosage was too high. Even though she was on the minimum dose, she was very sedated to the point of losing interest in everything. Now, we’ve cut that in half and she’s pretty much her normal self. She’s sleeping better through the night, eating regularly, and is playing and cuddling normally.

It will be about a month before the medication takes full effect. Right now we’re probably seeing these changes from the sedative side-effect. However, we’re hopeful this will help her cope when baby comes home. The other cat, Guinness, couldn’t care less about any of this stuff so far, so we have no worries about him!

BTW, during this whole process, Nala also had to change her food, so that was an added stress to her. She’s always been mildly allergic to her dry food, but she was too stubborn to change it. After that allergy worsened, we managed to find a wet food she’d eat – after 15 years – in the hopes it would help her with her weight. She’s also now on a dry food that is chicken and grain free, though she prefers just her wet food. Overall she’s been happier with these foods – though still having other issues ;)

At the same time, we also checked the position of the baby. About two weeks prior to the ultrasound, baby boy had turned breech (bum down). He’s an active baby, even now, but at the time was making turns at least once a day (once I realized that’s what he was doing). As he grew bigger, it was a lot more uncomfortable for me when he’d decide to switch positions. Thankfully, perhaps by his own choice or some exercises I’d been doing, the baby turned back from the breech position and has remained head-down since late last week.

At 34 weeks, the baby has also started to “drop” slightly, making it a little easier on me for breathing, though increasing my low back pain and the intensity of my Braxton Hicks contractions. We still have 3 weeks until baby is considered “full term” (which he is considered from 37 to 42 weeks), though the doctor says that if labor starts now, it won’t be stopped. So he could really come any time! The ultrasound very rough estimate has baby at near to 6lbs already.

The pregnancy has progressed to the “very uncomfortable” stage. My pelvis and lower back are both pretty sore and loose, in preparation for the birth, and I have discomfort from the contractions and just the weight of the baby. I’m sure his kicks don’t help either ;) I also have a fair amount of water retention in my legs and feet, making them a bit sore.

We have completed 2 out of the 6 prenatal classes. Let’s hope we can finish the full 6 before baby is born!

The baby’s room is painted in two colors from Benjamin Moore with their Aura series paint, which is what we used for the entire house. The top color is Limesickle, 2145-50, and the bottom is Guilford Green, HC-116. We had a simple chair rail installed in white, which is the same as the crown and baseboards, which you can’t see in the photo. The curtains in the room are from Pottery Barn Kids and feature a green and white stripe with brown stitching accent stripes.

The crib, dresser / hutch and side table are a part of the Rossport collection from College Wood Work. The crib converts to a day bed then to a double bed, so it was a good investment piece. Adding the hutch to the dresser gives us a lot of extra storage, though there’s also a pretty decently-sized closet in the room (not pictured). The chair is a leather glider recliner from Dutailier, though it is last year’s model (Intermezzo series). We got it at a discount, and I actually prefer it to this year’s model. Since it doesn’t “look” like a nursery glider, we’ll be able to transition it to our living room eventually.

As you walk into the room, the crib is straight ahead from the door, against an inside wall. Behind the crib we have the artwork our friends and family made at the baby shower. To the right of the crib is the hutch, while to the left is the chair & side-table in front of the window. The door is on the same wall as the closet, neither of which are pictured.

When Vancouver had that record heat wave, I was definitely a mess. Feet so swollen I could barely walk. I was working on our couch at the time, since our house was being painted. That project took about 3 weeks, with our baby shower sandwiched in between.

Already it feels like a long time since that baby shower! The last two weeks have proven to be more challenging for me, pregnancy wise. I think I realize why people say the third trimester is hardest!

I was unable to return to working at my desk after our renovations were complete. The baby presses down and makes it difficult for me to breathe / for blood to circulate to my legs. So, I now work with my feet up on the couch, taking regular breaks to lie down or walk. This position has its problems for my neck and shoulder, of course. Sleeping is a whole other challenge. Despite being propped up – front and back – with loads of pillows, I have pain throughout the night. So, sleep is difficult. During the day, when the baby isn’t on my diaphragm, he’s often nudging his little rear up into my ribs or kicking the heck out of my mid-section. You add to that regular bouts of “pregnancy brain” (some of which I’m sure has to do with ups and downs in protein intake and glucose levels), and I’ve definitely been on a roller coaster.

That said, it’s not all horrible. I can still get away with eating spicy foods, and still enjoy coffee (though I’m back to decaf). Though I may be slow, I enjoy getting out and walking and, up until this week, was regularly attending a prenatal pilates class. It was fun! I’ve also love nesting in the baby’s room – now beautifully painted and adorned with all baby’s new furniture. And of course, as sore as his kicking can make me, I love feeling the baby twist and turn around and to see his little foot or arm push out my tummy.

We’ve already had our “tour” of the hospital in preparation for the birth. Next week we begin our prenatal classes. We also have another ultrasound to look forward to. So, we’re getting there. In retrospect, I’m sure the next 8 weeks will just fly by. For now, we’re just taking it a day at a time.