Bad Golf

God Bless You Mr. Bowditch

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Mon, 07 Mar 2016 04:19:00 +0000

Steven Bowditch has, for the time being, become the Bad Golf blog's favorite golfer. In case you haven't heard, Mr. Bowditch made history this week by shooting a record setting 72-hole score of 325 in the World Golf Championship at Doral. If you're wondering, he posted rounds of 81, 80, 80, and 84. Apparently it was so bad that the standard bearer (the kid's that follow golfers with signs showing their scores) was told not to post his score. It's been over thirty years since a player's posted 4 rounds in the 80s on the PGA tour.

But, bad golf aside, Mr. Bowditch still managed to bank over $65,000 for the week, and for that, we have to consider him for membership in the Bad Golf Hall-of-Fame.

According to multiple article's I read about his play, here are some quotes attributed to him:

"I shot 37-over par and still made a paycheck. All's not that bad,"

"No one wants to play that bad, but it's just golf. That's it,"

"I think there was four dozen golf balls at the start of the week in my locker and I'm down to my last one."

I certainly know that feeling. But he's lucky. I usually manage to lose all my balls on the front nine. At least his stash made it 72 holes.

Cheers!

Fringe With Benefits

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 04:15:00 +0000

What do you get when you add 10 guys between the ages of twenty-something and sixty-something, a kitchen counter full of bottles of booze, a briefcase full of poker chips, an awesome lakefront house, a northwest weekend with just a touch of rain, and two rounds at Sandpines golf course? One helluva good time, that's what you get. This my friends is what the Bad Golfer was up to last weekend and I have to admit, it was once again all Lefty's idea.

I don't recall when it started but it must have been back in December. Lefty sent a text to me, Sparky, and Numbers saying he and a couple of buddies were going to golf Sandpines in February. He invited us and any buddies we wanted to bring along. I invited a couple of guys whose company I enjoy as did Sparky and Numbers and the next thing you know we had a gaggle of guys going ga-ga for golf (sorry, couldn't help it). .

One of the bags of booze

We arrived at the house late Friday afternoon. For so many guys I expected there to be some fretting about who was going to get which bed but maybe that's just projection on my part because everything just seemed to fall into place (especially considering I got a room to myself). Of course The Golf Channel was on and we proceed to introduce those who didn't know each other, mix drinks, testing the hot tub, and just generally settling in.

Later that night a poker game broke out. By this time Sparky was feeling the festivities and couldn't cope with the way the poker chip denominations were set up so everything had to be reset. That was probably the longest half hour of the weekend. But finally, the game was going. Buy in was ten bucks and since we started late, no re-buys. We had one person who never played and surprisingly they didn't win (which, as any poker player can tell you, often happens when first time players enter a game) but he did hang in there 'til the final five or six. My cards were cold but I managed to hang long enough for the top three with Sparky and one of Lefty's buddies. Lefty's friend had the big stack and of course Sparky and I graciously attempted to split the winnings with him but he'd have none of that. So I did what any self-respecting poker player would do -- I lightened his pot by catching him on a bad beat (caught a flush on the river to beat his 3 of a kind). Next hand I had pocket aces and Lefty's friend drew pocket queens so we had another show-down which I won and the tournament was over. That's right, The Bad Golfer won the night.

After poker it was already early in the morning and time for bed for the old guys. Apparently the kids thought they could stay up until 4:30 and golf well the next day, so that's what they did. Fortunately, our tee times were between 12:00 and 12:30.

Statue at the entrance of Sandpines

We picked the perfect weekend as the weather was in the mid-fifties with no rain on Saturday and just a spattering of rain on Sunday. To top it off, there were very few other's playing so they let us play two fivesome. The night before our first round we ranked all the players and paired up the top five and bottom five as teams. We had three betting games -- best team cumulative score (using "Shackleford" scoring -- OK, OK, I know, it's Stableford, geez mispronounce the scoring system once and hear about it all weekend), KP (Sandpines even gave us KP makers -- BTW, anyone know why it's KP and not CP?), and a three putt game where you had to put a buck in the pot for each three putt and the person with the fewest three putts got the pot.

Sandpines is truly a beautiful course. It's an odd combination of links and parkland. I found it to be challenging but forgiving with no gimmicky holes. I was in the first group to tee off and of course, bad golfer that I am, I managed to duff my first drive (using a five iron no less) much to the enjoyment of the other nine players, in particular Sparky. The front nine was beautiful but brutal for me and I scored a sixty. That's right sixty. But along the way, something interesting happened. On eight out of nine of the holes, I managed to end up on the fringe. Putts off the fringe don't count as putts, and I had zero three putts, I was winning the three putt competition. And this pattern continued throughout the round. By the 15th hole I'd hit something like 13 or 14 fringes and still had no three putts which prompted Lefty to say with disgust, "I've never seen a guy shoot 130 with no three putts before."

The first green, yes, that's a ball circled
in yellow. Surprisingly, not mine

It was the oddest thing. Try as I might, I couldn't hit any greens. I just kept hitting fringes. But it was truly fringe with benefits. At the end of the day I hit no greens on the par threes, my teams stableford score was nowhere near the top, and I shot 109. But I did manage to get into a putt-off for the thirty dollar-ish three putt pot. And I won.

The second night there wasn't as much partying. The young guys burned themselves out the night before and all crashed which left a few of the old guys sitting around watching the Honda LPGA Thailand tourney on The Golf Channel. That's when I was given these words of wisdom: "I hope someday to be as lazy as the person who name the fireplace." Think about it.

Sunday's golf was amazing. We were literally the only people on the course. I suggest we play as a ten-some but some of the good golfers complained that would make putting too difficult (good golfers -- sheesh!). Sunday I put together a four hole run that was probably the best I ever played four holes in a row and I thought I played a spectacular 9. I was surprised that it added up to 50 but considering I'd played the front in 60 the day before I was still happy. Oddly, I only beat Sparky by 6 strokes on the front even though he put two in the drink on the second hole. I'm still not sure how what worked out. At the end of the day I was happy to end up with a 98 even though I didn't hit a green on par 3 (oh for 12 over the weekend -- talk about bad golf), had two three putts which put me out of competition for the three putt pot, and, to top it off, I beat my stableford partner and he was one of the top five (I was his bottom five partner) so I got nothing there. But still, 98 at Sandpines for a bad golfer ain't too bad. And I was happy that one of the guys I brought played well and won the stableford with his partner.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend and I think we all agreed, this could be the start of a yearly tradition. I just hope the young guys learned to pace themselves so I can win two poker tournaments next time.

PS - Happy Birthday Sparky

Cheers!

Bandon Dunes, 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Wed, 17 Feb 2016 04:56:00 +0000

The main people I golf with are my brother, "Sparky" and his two kids, "Lefty" and "Numbers". These, of course, are their Irish Mafia names. Every year we play toward one goal, our annual winter trip to Bandon Dunes. For the past four or five years we've traveled together to Bandon in December, when the weather is surprisingly calm and the greens fees are reasonably priced. In June you're likely to find me at Langdon Farms, Lefty at Spring Hills, Numbers at OGA, and Sparky floating in his pool with a margarita in his hand. And we all agree -- it's just preparation for Bandon.

Lefty, Bad Golfer, Sparky, & Numbers
at Bandon Dunes

The trips to Bandon started with me and Lefty and I have to give Lefty credit, because it was all his idea. Since the first trip was the two of us, we enjoy the honor of being the "Founder's Club". That first year the weather was rough. The extreme wind was the worst of it. I'm talking wind where you blast a drive 80 yards on one hole and then over shoot a green 150 yards away with a sand wedge on the next. But that first trip we didn't catch too much rain. It was harsh, but fun.

Following that first year Sparky and Numbers joined us. Typically we keep our eye on the 10 day forecast looking for a weekend where the weather looks reasonable, and book our trip. The trip consists of us arriving at Bandon on Friday night or Saturday morning, spending Saturday at the practice center and playing 27 or so holes on Shorty's, and then playing Bandon Dunes or Pacific on Sunday. And every year we've played, the weather has been perfect. I'm talking short sleeves, guzzling beer because you're thirsty perfect. And over the years we've had some great times. I should have been blogging about them. There was the round where Numbers had the opportunity to be the first of us to break 100 at Bandon. He was at 90 on the 18th of Pacific Dunes and proceeded to shoot a 12 on the final hole. There was the time that Sparky had one too many on the course and got enraptured by sunset. It was beautiful and he was having an out of body experience that didn't end until the marshals came looking for us.And every year we've played, the Founders Club has marveled and told Numbers and Sparky, you haven't played Bandon until you've played it it weather. Well this year, Bandon abides...

"Old MacDonald had a farm. You
gotta ride with the waves, baby"
- Sparky

This year we broke tradition on a number of counts. First, we booked our trip well in advanced. I think we got cocky about the weather. Additionally, we arrived early on Friday, spent Friday at the practice center and Shorty's, and played Old Mac on Saturday and Pacific on Sunday. This was the first year we played two rounds. Suffice it to say that mother nature had her due, and we had the pleasure of playing Old Mac in some of the worst conditions imaginable. If you haven't seen the Bandon Dunes Wrath of God video check it out. Our round was like that. Only worse. Have you ever had to clear a path in standing hail on a green to make a putt? Well, now I have. More than once. I didn't even keep score. I'm not sure which was higher, the number of strokes or the number of shots that I took. I had to survive somehow. And man did I pay for it that night. I guess Sparky's training regiment makes sense.

On Sunday we were supposed to play Pacific. The weather forecast called for more of the same. Standing in the hut on the first tee it was already raining. Sparky and I were ready to bag it. Spend the day watching football. But the damn kids kept nagging us. It never ends. And they convinced us to golf. And dumb-asses that Sparky and I are, we did. And here's the odd thing. Of all the ups and downs of that second day, the 10s and 12s and lost balls, Sparky and I ended up tied. Seriously, how do you tie when you shoot in the 120s? Well...

The weather was so bad during this trip, we don't have many pictures because it wasn't worth the risk of ruining a phone. But Sparky did bring a Go-Pro. I haven't seen it yet, but apparently there's a section where Sparky is wearing the Go-Pro on his head. And the movie shows him look left, then look right, then look down, then kick his ball into the fairway! Bwaaaahaaaahaaaa. I don't care. I might have done the same thing somewhere along the way. I might have even thrown my ball out of a sand trap when the other three were clearing hail from the green. Not saying I did. But I might have. Cuz let me tell you, our 2015 trip to Bandon wasn't golf, it was survival.

I believe this text message exchange sums it up. I wanted to include a few more pictures of the trip in this post, so I just sent this out to Sparky, Numbers, and Lefty. The reply is from Lefty:

Cheers!

New Poll Reveals LPGA More Popular Than PGA

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 19:01:00 +0000

Surprise findings in a new poll conducted by the Bad Golf Blog show that the LPGA tour is more popular than the PGA tour. Also revieled in the poll is that Yani Tseng is the most popular player on the LPGA tour. According to the poll The Children’s Course (www.thechildrenscourse.org) located in Gladstone, Oregon is the best golf course in the world and the most popular male golfer is Yu Daddi.

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The Best Golf Tip a Bad Golfer Will Ever Get

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 01:36:00 +0000

I’m hesitant to do this because I know my buddy Craig reads this blog. For years he and I have been racing each other to be the first one to break 100. Imagine, then, how difficult it was at the beginning of this year when we played a quick nine after work (ok, at our skill level there’s really no such thing as a “quick nine” but we try). At the end of nine we were both below 50. We were on the rode our elusive sub-100 rounds. But we’d told our wives we were only playing nine and it was the first or second round of the year so we didn’t want to push our luck. We just had to pack it in with visions of future rounds in our heads. This year I did manage to break 100 four times. But Craig didn’t. So, I’m hesitant to give out this tip, because I’ll be giving Craig my secret and it’s just so much fun to tease him. But this is the Bad Golf blog, the blog all about bad golfers and we need to stick together. So, without further ado, and at the risk of helping Craig with his golf game, here it is: The best golf tip a bad golfer will ever get.

Oh, wait; there is more ado.

The reason I believe this is the best golf tip a bad golfer will ever get is this: I’ve been trying to break 100 for over fifteen years. I’ve had friends break 100 the first year they started playing. I’ve worked on my grip, tempo, alignment, pre-swing routine, and relaxing. I’ve tried new clubs, multiple swing thoughts, and psychological tricks. I've focused practicing my short game and putting. I’ve tried “playing smart” and once, I even tracked down a Golf Magazine top 100 teacher and took a lesson with him out at Pumpkin Ridge. And even with all that, the 100 mark remained as unobtainable as a straight answer from a politician. But this year I found it. I found the one thing to take me to the next level and I’m confident next year it will help me go even lower. That is why I'm declaring this the best golf tip a bad golfer will ever get. Because I've tried everything and this one simple tip is the one that did it.

Ok, seriously, that's enough ado, now here's the tip:

A Good Finish

I stumbled across this tip by accident. My six year old daughter took lessons this year. I watched her swing progress and was very impressed with how quickly she improved. One thing I noticed was that the instructor really emphasized the finish. Whenever she’d hit, no matter what the outcome of the shot was, a topped ball that dribbled a few feet in front of her, or a ball blasted 80 yards down the fairway, she would always get to a good finish and hold it. Her instructor didn't teach her anything about the grip, tempo, alignment, relaxing, or happy rainbow unicorn swing thoughts. Nope. The emphasis was always on one thing and one thing only -- the finish.

The Results of a Good Finish

This made sense to me. If you finish off balance there’s no way you made a good swing. So I started focusing on my finish. My swing thought was simple: “Back slow” as I started my swing (I tend to over swing), “good finish” as I swung down. I noticed an immediate difference. When I finished in balance the odds of me hitting a good shot went way up; when I finished out of balance the odds of me hitting a good shot went way down. Focusing on my finish taught me a great deal about every shot. If I slid easily into the finish it was probably a good shot. If I was off balance to the left I probably sliced it. If I finished off balance backwards or forwards I probably topped it. Focusing on the finish and getting my balance down so I was finishing good made a huge difference. My consistence went way up, my scores went down. Suddenly, instead of hitting about 50% with my 7 iron I was about 80% and I was money with my 9 iron and pitching wedge. The next time I got on a course, boom, sub-100 was mine.

So there you have it -- my big tip. If you've tried “everything” and you're still suck, try focusing on a good balanced finish. It's working for my daughter; it worked for me; I hope it works for you as well (well, not you, Craig).

Cheers!

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Golf Boys

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:20:00 +0000

This video speaks for itself

Dick's

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 07:44:00 +0000

There’s one name in golf that never fails to bring out the adolescent in me and that’s Dick’s. Every time I hear it referenced I chuckle a little. Every time I drive to the mall and see it on the top of the building in 10 foot high letters: DICK’S I grin. I’m stupid that way. But I’ll bet half of you reading this, when you saw the title of the post, thought something similar.

Have you ever been to a Dick’s? I went three times this year and every time I had a similar experience. What I found is Dick’s is not just a name, it’s an attitude. The first time I went to a Dick’s I was with my daughter. We were looking to buy her first set of clubs. We saw two sales people sitting behind a counter looking at a computer screen. When we approached the counter we were promptly ignored. When I finally broke the cold shoulder and asked where the kids clubs were the workers looked at me like I’d just farted. “Over there,” one of them said in a disgusted voice while waving his hand in a vague direction. Both employees then continued looking at the computer screen. Facebook I’m guessing. Walking away from the counter I knew exactly where the hand had waved -- in the direction of another golf shop.

The second time I went to Dick’s was out of boredom. My family and I were at the mall shopping and when we passed the Dick’s I told my wife I was going to go check out some golf equipment while she looked at shoes (or something like shoes, it was all a blur at that point). My daughter went with me and we proceeded to go directly to the golf section. Oddly, even though there were customers milling about I noticed there were no sales reps on the floor. But sure enough, there were two sales reps sitting behind the same counter looking at a computer screen. What do they put on the computers at Dick’s anyway? My daughter and I looked around a bit and after a while she took a putter and was messing around on the small putting green in the middle of the showcase. She’s actually a pretty good putter if I say so myself and she certainly wasn’t out of line in anyway. Want to know how to get the attention of a Dick’s employee? Have your kid start putting on the putting green. Within 30 seconds a sales rep was there glaring first at me, then at my daughter, then back at me. Ok. Strike two. I put the golf glove and University of Oregon towel I was going to buy back on their shelves and we left (maybe the employee was an Oregon State fan).

The third time I went to Dick’s was with my wife and daughter. We wanted to buy a golf cart and we knew we were going to spend a few hundred bucks to get a good one. After my last two experiences I was disinclined to go to Dick’s but my wife had a 15% off coupon so we went. Ok, you’re not going to believe me, but once again, we found no sales reps on the floor but one was sitting behind that damn counter. I wanted to ask some questions about the carts before buying one (I have a 2 seat convertible so I wanted to see how compact different models could get and how easy they were to fold and unfold). I went to the counter and I asked the employee if I could get some assistance. The employee was actually friendly and told me to wait by the golf carts and he’d have someone over there shortly. After ten minutes of waiting no one showed up. We left and dropped our 250 bucks elsewhere.

I once went to a restaurant in San Diego called Dick’s. The theme of the restaurant is that they treat you poorly and you throw wadded up papers at the waitresses to get their attention. Being a dick is part of the fun. Apparently Dick’s is bringing this idea to the sporting goods industry. I hope corporate is happy to learn that their employees are living up to their name.

But even with all that, the next time I hear, “The Big Break is brought to you by Dick’s” I know I’ll chuckle. I just can’t help it.

Cheers!

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Bad Golf Movie

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 06:07:00 +0000

How did this movie ever get released without me in it? How did I not see it? Stay tuned for a review:

handicapped: a documentary about bad golf by West Town Productions

Cheers!

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U.S. Kids Golf

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:51:00 +0000

OK, I knew I was bad, I just never realize how bad I really was. This year I finally managed to break 100*. In fact, in my last four rounds my scores were all between 95 and 100*. I’ve been very proud of this. I finally started thinking I might be a real golfer. Until I saw this…

My scores wouldn’t even qualify me to play in this tournament in the girls 10 and under division. I guess I need more practice.

To find out more about the U.S. Kids Golf Foundation click here.

*This is a personal note for my nephews (whom I often golf with): I'm admitting, yes, I took a mulligan during those rounds (OK, 2 mulligans -- one per 9), but I'm still counting it as breaking 100 so shut-up.

Cheers!

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Why We Play

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 05:24:00 +0000

Golf. The word itself elicits feelings from deep within. Golf. It’s hardly fun but during every round the game redeems itself. With every round there's that moment; that moment when the ball is struck with perfect precision and flys at your will. You stand like Thor with a hammer club in your hands, your arms raised high, your chest puffed out, and the energy of life itself flows throughout your body. Golf. Not even a game really. More like an elusive state of being. Four hours of torture punctuated by moments of sublime contentedness.

And in those moments -- those moments of clarity where you see the subtle break of the twenty foot putt and know you've made it before even striking the ball – life meets sport and a single Sunday second fulfills you for another week.

That and the beer cart girls.

Cheers!

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Corny Golf Jokes

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 16:44:00 +0000

A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"

Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered"

Buh-dup-dum

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son?" The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you"?

The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."

Buh-dup-dum

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?"

"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times..... just put me down for a five."

Buh-dup-dum

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took another mighty swing; the ball hit a tree, bounced back hit him in the forehead and killed him.

As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter saw him coming and asked, "Are you a good golfer," to which the man replied, "Got here in two, didn't I?"

Buh-dup-dum

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

Buh-dup-dum

I'll be here all week. Tell your friends.

Cheers!

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Golfing in Taiwan

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 18:36:00 +0000

Before my trip to Taiwan my mother-in-law told me that she had friends who golf every day and I was invited to go with them. You can't imagine how happy I was. Normally when I got to Taiwan I spend my days sitting around the house watching CNN or table tennis championships on ESPN until the men come home from work. But this trip would be different. On this trip I'd be golfing.

Now, in America, we have this saying that starts "If something sounds too good to be true..."

Strike one - To begin with, it wasn’t every day; it was every weekday, Monday through Friday. I could live with this, I mean, it’s still golfing five days a week for three weeks, and in January. Come on, whose gunna complain about that.

Strike two – The course is not a regulation par 72 course. It’s an executive course, par 60, with seven par threes and two par fours. It’s also a nine-hole course, but you play it twice for your eighteen (and my hosts like to play thirty-six holes). Still, I’m not complaining, golf is golf and this will give me an opportunity to work on my mid-irons. I’m still psyched.

Strike Three – My hosts tee off at 5:30 in the morning, every morning. That’s not funny -- that’s going a little too far.

But still, I’m a trooper, I want to golf, so I agree to go. Therefore, two days after arriving in Taiwan, I found myself waking up at 5:00 am (which is 9:00 pm Pacific Time – so my clock was all screwed up) preparing to golf with people I can’t talk to.

My hosts, who I’m introduced to as Mr. and Mrs. Lin, pick me up at 5:20. They are a very friend husband and wife around sixty years old. He is a retired state Senator. They smile a lot and know how to say “Hello” and “Ok”. Our conversation goes something like this:

Mr. Lin: Hello
Me: Hi, nice to meet you.
Mr. Lin: Ok.
Me: Ok?
Mrs. Lin: (smiles)
Mr. Lin: (picking up my golf bag) Ok, ok. Hello. (Laughs).
Me: Ready.
Mr. Lin: Ok.

The drive to the course takes about 15 minutes. Chinese music plays on the radio and Mr. and Mrs. Lin chatter in Chinese. “Wow,” I think. “If I didn’t golf I wouldn’t be having this experience right now.” Then I look out the window into the still dark morning and wonder if that’s a good thing.

When we arrive at the first tee its still dark. There are a group of about twenty people between the ages of fifty and eighty stretching, farting, jabbering, and laughing. I’m still trying to figure out how I got here. After fifteen minutes of the pre-game ritual, Mr. Lin says “Ok,” and it’s off to the first tee.

“Ok,” he says, waving his hand, indicating that I have honors. I look out into the dark and think, “What the …” Mr. Lin smiles, points, and says, “E-by-san-woo.” I know enough Chinese to interpret that to mean 135. I just don’t know if that’s yards or meters. Yikes.

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My Daughter Golfing

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 21:26:00 +0000

Here's a video of my daughter golfing on her 2nd birthday. I have to fix that cross handed grip. The over under on when she beats me is 13. Place your bets!

Stay tuned, a posting about golfing in Taiwan is right around the corner.

Cheers!

Rob

The Off Season

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 17:25:00 +0000

I'm tired. That's all I can say. The time has changed and it's now dark when I leave work. Even if I sneak out early there's no time for golf. Plus the rains have started. It's all very depressing -- it's officially "the off season".

On the plus side I've learned that there's a range with heated stalls not too far from my house. This year I took my driver and three wood out of my bag. I'm going to start researching drivers and buy one. Then I'm going to spend this off season working on the driver. That will be a nice bonus next year.

So I doubt I'll have a lot to post about over the next few months. However, in January I'm going to Taiwan and I will be golfing with my wife's uncle at a couple of incredible courses. I'll make sure to post about that.

Cheers!

Rob

Buy a Little History

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 16:14:00 +0000

If you've got an extra couple of hundred dollars laying around, tomorrow at 11:00 Freeman's Auction House will be auctioning the Tom McNamara golf collection. Some items are very cool and within the price range of most duffers.

Here's a few items The Bad Golfer will not be bidding on:

A Pietzcker coloured photo, depicting Walter Hagen,inscribed Walter Hagen, and further inscribed PGA - 1921-24-25-26-27; USGA Open, 1914-19; Western Open, 1916-21-26-27; French Open, 1920; British Open, 1922-24-28-29,50.3cm x 40.4cm
Estimate $5,600-7,700

A black and white group photograph, depicting Tom McNamara, Francis Ouimet and two other golfers, seated on the ground with golf clubs, 11.8cm x 17.1cm; and another depicting Tom McNamara standing with three other golfers, 19.5cm x 24.6cm (2)
Estimate $750-1,300

A black and white photograph depicting Gene Sarazen, holding the claret jug and the US Open trophies and inscribed, 'To Leo McNamara from his friend Gene Sarazen', and signed, image size 28.3cm x 22.2cm
Estimate $940-1,700

But here's a couple I might try to lowball:

The Professional Golfers Association of America, 1973 Club Professional Championship Contestant money clip

Estimate: $200 -$ 300

A Hyde Imperial, 'Woodley Flier 27 1/2' mesh pattern gutty ball
Estimate $370-760

You can see the entire collection by visiting the Freeman's Auctioneers Website.

Cheers!

Rob

Blog of the Week

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 16:52:00 +0000

Last week I touted the merits of the blog written by TC the Terrible. This is a well written, very funny blog that’s definitely worth a look. However, the blog has little to do with golf. This week I'd like to tell you of a blog that is just fantastic and is totally about golf. In fact, right now I'd say it is my favorite blog on the web.

The blog is called The Reluctant Jam Boy. It's written by a professional caddie named Tom. Rock Hudson putt: looks straight, but isn't. - The Reluctant Jam BoyThe stories he tells are laugh-out-loud funny and crafted in a way that will keep you coming back for more. You'll read stories about how he played a practical joke on his customers, how he tries to handicap his customers by the clubs they have, caddie lingo that's hilarious, and the recent entry, worthy of a spot in Sports Illustrated, is a great piece about a tournament he caddied in and his insecurities about reading the greens.

My favorite posts on Bad Golf are about my game on the green. If I'm lucky I play once a week. Now that the weather's turned that will be much less. But Tom's out there every day. He has a variety of loops to write about. And boy does he picks good ones.

Cheers!

Rob

World's Greatest Golfer

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 02:58:00 +0000

Take a look folks. If you think that picture looks like Kim Jong II, the leader of North Korea, well, you're right, it is. But he also happens to be the world's greatest golfer. Here's the proof:

Rounds Played: One
Hole-In-Ones: Five
Score for 18 holes: 38
Score relative to par: -34

With all the news about North Korea this week, I was all set to do some serious reading on the net when I came across this gem. Then I was all set to write a great post about it, but someone beat me to it. I can't write it any better than the folks at Duffer's Golf Club did, so you might as well read their article. If you want to read a more serious article that mentions the golf game check out the article Gulag Nation by William C. Triplett.

Cheers!

Rob

This is Kind of Cool

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 22:47:00 +0000

I really appreciate all of you who read my blog. You're obviously smart and discriminating. Therefore, I thought I share with you this little tidbit. Here is a map of the last 100 readers on this blog. If you're a regular reader, you might even find your home highlighted.

Cheers!

Rob

An Honest Response

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 20:37:00 +0000

The other day I was golfing with my boss. I was shooting great and, as I’ve mentioned in about three other posts this month, I shot a 45. We were sitting on the tee-box for the ninth-hole (a 150-yard uphill par-three) waiting for the foursome ahead of us to clear the green. Adding up the scores we noted that I was at 42 and would definitely break 50 for the front nine. Breaking fifty is always my goal.

Anyway, as we sat there discussing our scores and what club we were going to use on this hole, we were vaguely watching a kid who was about twelve years old hitting his approach shot on eight. He must have had a pretty good tee shot because he was smack in the middle of the fairway looking at about 130 yards to the green. He was standing above his ball, preparing to make the shot with a gray-haired old lady sitting in a cart behind him. The kid took his swing and just totally chunked it. “Fuck!” he yelled. My boss and I started cracking up as the kid stormed after his ball.

We weren’t laughing at him for chunking it. It was his response – so raw, authentic, and unexpected. It was one of the highlights of the round.

Cheers!

Rob

Lost: My Golf Game

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 06:16:00 +0000

Lost: My Golf Game

If Found, please email IGolfBad@Gmail.com..."I've learned that an Executive Course is a course that has mostly par threes, a few par fours, and is over priced" -- Bad Golfer

So a few days ago I made a post titled A Snowman's Not So Bad After All. Turns out I was right.

Today I got to leave work a little earily, so I thought I'd play a quick nine at the "Executive Course" down the street from my house. The last three times I've played this course I've scored a 37 (par is 29). Today I was bound and determined to score lower than 37. Dare I think I could actually score a 35?

I got paired up with a couple of other golfers and started off terrible. I shot a six on the par-three first, and then went bogey-bogey on the second and third. So coming up to the 125 yard par-three forth, I figured I was in pretty good shape if I could just get it on the green.

But something happened. First, the excuse. As I mentioned I rushed to the course from work, I still had my work shirt on and it was tucked in, tight. I could feel it pull on my back swing. But hell, this was just a little 125 yard nine-iron. That shouldn't bother me. Now, the shot: forty five degrees to the right. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't on the next fairway, it was on the fairway beyond the next fairway. But still, it should have been an easy chip shot to the green. Wrong! The chip shot when over the green. Then two more chip shots over the green and I finally found the soft stuff laying five. At this point I was so flustered, I four putted. That's right, I took a nine and a par-three 125 yard hole.

The guys I was playing with felt so sorry for me they marked it down as a seven. At the end of the round when we were adding up our score, they had me a 44. "But you only gave me a seven on the fourth," I said.

"Ok," said the old guy, "You can have two more strokes if you want them."

I took 'em.

So, my last four nine-hole rounds have been: 37, 37, 37 (on the par 29 course), 45 on a difficult par 36 "real" course, and then a 46 on this par 29 course. How's that for consistancy?!?

Cheers!

Rob

Colin Montgomerie Golf Course Management

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 05:59:00 +0000

It was announced yesterday that Colin Montgomerie has been chosen to design an 18-hole Tournament golf course for the Riffa Golf and Residential Development Company in The Kingdom of Bahrain.

My prediction -- he'll choked on the 18th hole and it will end up looking like this:

Unplayable Lie

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Sat, 07 Oct 2006 05:38:00 +0000

In case you don't read the comments on this site...

First, I suggest you do. I appreciate anyone who leaves a comment and they are all worth reading.

Secondly, in the comments on my post regarding Mitsuhiro Tateyama, Greg from New2Golf mentioned that Tateyama should have declared an unplayable lie. Well, I am a bad golfer and don't know all the rules. If it seems unplayable kick it out and then lie about it. Now that I'm getting better I'm starting to count all my strokes, including out of bounds. So I guess "unplayable lie" will no longer mean If it seems unplayable kick it out and then lie about it.

By the way, if you want to read more about golf, check my blog roll and the sites I mention. They have some great stuff on them. The New2Golf site has an excellant article on beginner's tips, and Golf Nomad has some great videos of Michelle Wei on a Korean TV show that are very funny.

Cheers!

Rob

A Snowman's Not So Bad After All

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 05:50:00 +0000

Since this is a blog about bad golf, I'd be remiss to ignore this gem.

Next time you're on the course marking that snowman on your scorecard, think of Mitsuhiro Tateyama. A couple of weeks ago Tateyama, who's ranked 72 on the Japanese tour, was playing in the Acorm International at the at the Ishioka Golf Club. Here's how his hole went in the opening round, on the 225-yard par-three eighth:

Tee shot: ???
2nd shot: Hits the rough on the front of the green.
3rd shot: Opps. Over the green into some bushes. Ouch the ball is stuck in the roots.
4th - 17th: Hacking the ball out of the roots.
Eighteen shot: On the green.
Ninteenth shot: In the hole.

That's right, a 19.

"My mind went completely blank. I just wanted to get the ball out of there."

- Mitsuhiro Tateyama

(I know the feeling Mitsuhiro)

On the bright side, at least he didn't break the JGTO record. That belongs to Norio Suzuki who, at the 1987 Tokai Classic, accidently recorded his ninth hole score as 42 -- now that sounds like something I'd do.

Cheers!

Rob

Speaking of Bad Golf...

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 17:33:00 +0000

How 'bout that US Ryder Cup team? Sheesh!!!

I Must Be Mental

noreply@blogger.com (Rob Ferguson) — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 02:21:00 +0000

I must be mental because the folks at Golf Mental Mastery have contacted me and are now a (assumedly proud) sponsor of the Bad Golf Blog. Also, the folks at Golf Mental Mastery are so confident in their product they are sending me a copy of the Golf Mental Mastery CD which I will tryout and review in a future article.

Now keep in mind, I'm a bad golfer, and I'm proud of that fact. But that doesn't mean I don't want to get better and this year my game's made big improvements. So far I've focused on clubs and lessons -- physical aspects of the game. I'm excited to take it to the next level and see if some mental conditioning also helps me cut a couple of strokes off my game.

Now here's the caveat, they are a sponsor of this page. So how can I give their product an honest review? Well, it's not like they're Disneyland and I'm ABC for christsake. I write this blog because I enjoy it and I get feedback from my readers which encourages me. This blog is also good for my mental game because if I'm having a crappy day on the course I just think: "Well, at least I'll have something for the blog." So, I'm not in it for the money. They're confident in the product, I want to cut strokes off my game. In a win-win world it will work and I'll love it and it will get a glowing review (which some of you cynics will be skeptical of) and they'll continue to sponsor the site. In the meantime, I think you should support them for no other reason than they're supporting me. So, if you're interested in helping your mental game out and in a round-about way supporting the blog, don't wait for my review, check out Golf Mental Mastery for yourself and let me know what you think. Maybe we'll have different opinions.

Cheers!

Rob