Downtown on Main

Our Wedding Day // Zion National Park // Wild In Love In Zion

2015-01-20T13:21:00.001-07:00

Let’s be honest. Just like the rest of us, I have one particular Pinterest board that is something like 1,200 pins deep into pure wedded bliss and has been since, let’s just say a few years or so before my wedding day. So when the time came that Sean proposed and I was finally able to plan the real deal, I had it locked, loaded, and planned, right? Actually, I did not. The entire plan-a-wedding process was a whole lot of decision making and un-decision making, and let’s be honest, my Pinterest board(s) overwhelmed me even more. I mean, you get ONE wedding. Well… you know what I mean. You get one first wedding, and you want it to be a good one, right? I wanted it to be perfect. A real genuine reflection of who Sean and I are as a couple. We had SO many ideas. Headaches of ideas. But when it really came down to planning a wedding that reflected US, we realized, duh! Our wedding meant throwing a wild party in an awesome place with of our closest people. So we decided that’s what we’d do.

We chose the backdrop of Zion National Park, one of our very favorite places, for our wedding location. I know, could’ve been worse, right? One of the best things about having a destination wedding in Zion National Park is… well… Zion National Park. And it was so awesome to get to show off that part of Utah to friends and family who weren’t yet familiar with the area. I mean, this place is practically in our backyard! I feel crazy lucky to live in a state that houses some of the most beautiful places in the world.

I was floating on a cloud from the moment our processional started and for days thereafter. Before the processional, however, was a serious case of “O.M.G.” but we don’t even have to talk about that because you and I both know it’s every bride’s right to have at least one of those on her wedding day. I mean, the pressure! The setting for our ceremony was breathtaking, to say the very least. You just can’t explain a scene of that magnitude. Our entire bridal party looked incredible. You may not believe me but I’m telling you, it’s purely coincidental that we have such good looking friends and family. My sweet Mama walked me down the aisle - symbolic of how the woman has and will probably always walk me through life. I’m a lucky daughter. I’m also a lucky sister. Mom and I were met at the end of my aisle by my brother and my two sisters. A moment frozen in my heart’s memory. It made sense to have my whole family give me away. The Fantastic Five. The people responsible for making, breaking, and making me again the way only a family can do. They’ve pushed me to every limit - as well as just about every one of my buttons - but they have always been there when I’ve fallen, and when I’ve risen, and when I’m just simply at a standstill and have nothing spectacular to contribute. My people.

At the close of the beautiful ceremony performed by my dear Uncle Mark, my cousin, led my family in song and my brother did me proud while he honorably led our family in a Maori haka. It was a moment I will always cherish and remember so fondly, Sean however was supposed to be a little scared.

I tease Sean, and perhaps I’m not really teasing, but I tell him that I married him for his family. He tells me he married me for mine too and I don’t actually know if he’s joking so I guess that makes two of us. We both have GREAT families. The kind of families that make you wish you were a part of them, and the kind of families that make you actually feeeeeel like you’re a part of them, and seriously, how did we get so lucky?!

If I could sum our day up into one word it was just that… LUCKY. I felt so lucky. I still feel so lucky. I look at these pictures and honestly, was this really MY wedding?! That’s how I feel. Like it was too good to be true. But it was true and we ARE so lucky. I never want to forget the feeling of being surrounded by the most beloved people in my life in perhaps the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my life. There is something divine about so much love being shared in a place as majestic as Zion I’ll never forget how the energy was so strong, and so loving, and it felt so great… and geeze, have I mentioned that I am really just so lucky?!

I understand completely why your wedding day is the fastest moving day of your entire life, and it’s because you build and build and plan and plan for this one day. These few moments. And you expect the clouds to open, and the sun to shine, and the birds to sing, and you listen for the soundtrack of your wedding day to play in the background at all the right moments like it does in the movies, because this is the day, the one day you have cried, and sweat, and bled over… well, maybe there was no blood… but this is it. This is that, let me say it one more time, that ONE DAY you have been building and designing for months. You have primed it and planned it for nothing but complete and total perfection. And it’s here. And it’s happening, and you try but you can’t slow it down. And in my very blessed and lucky case, the clouds DID open, and the sun DID shine, and the birds DID sing, and my carefully curated wedding soundtrack WAS playing in the background at all the right moments, and the entire day was just completely and totally perfect. Every detail, every word shared, every person there… it was the kind of perfection that probably deserves it’s very OWN Pinterest board, you know what I mean?

We set out to throw a party with the people we love, to celebrate the way that Sean and I love each other - which is mostly wild, and fun, and passionate, and true - and a party we did throw! At one point on the dance floor, after what already seemed like HOURS of dancing to our heart’s content and loving it, I turned to one of my bridesmaids as we both realized, “It’s ONLY nine o’clock!!” which was the greatest thing ever because it meant we had at least one more hour with the DJ and one more hour was just.what.we.needed. Plus, to our pleasant surprise, our guest list was full of “dancers”. All kinds of dancers. Ballerinas. Ballroom Dancers. Salsa Dancers. Funkytown Dancers. Hip Hop Dancers. And then there was my mom. For those of you in attendance who wondered, the answer is no, my mother does not drink. She is just really That.Much.Fun. I’m pretty sure every single person got their boogie on at some point in the night, and that’s just what we wanted. Let’s just say our dance party took the phrase “cuttin’ a rug” to a whole new level. A level in which I think we actually broke part of the dance floor. And to that I say… YOLO. *fist pump*

The best day of my life doesn’t even begin to capture how I feel about our wedding day. That feels too cliché. Of course it was the best day of my life, but it was also so much more. That ONE day. It was the hardest day I’ve ever worked for, actually. But that one day was worth every racing moment even if I couldn’t keep up with all of it. It was worth the tears, the sweat, and even the possibility of blood. I didn’t realize that the real gift at the end of it would be having all of those people, in that place, enjoying that day, together. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it… that was honestly the most incredible part of it all – being with everyone I truly and genuinely love to celebrate the true and genuine love that Sean and I have worked so hard to build together over the last few years. And what a great way to start off our marriage. Literally wrapped in the arms of everyone we treasure. Together…

…wild, in love, in Zion.

PHOTOS BY: Gideon Photography

FLORALS BY: Lilac Floral

My Father’s Daughter // Soldiers Rd Portraits

2014-12-15T23:16:00.001-07:00

I had an opportunity recently to have my portrait taken by Soldiers Rd Portraits, two beautiful women from New Zealand who specialize in vintage traditional Maori portraits. To call this a special experience would be quite an understatement. You see, my Maori culture is something that I have always held so closely in my heart and cherished. Maori is a part of who I am – my make up – but as an American child born to interracial parents, I would be lying if I said that Maori has always been how I’ve felt.

On the day I had my portrait taken, I snuck away to the bathroom to have a look at myself alone for a bit. It was a sweet moment in which I thought about my grandmother and the beautiful traditional Maori portrait of her I’ve grown up admiring. I wondered if anyone would think I looked like her. In true form, I let a few tears fall as I admired the ta moko on my chin and the piupiu draped across my shoulder. For the very first time in my life, I KNEW the Maori girl staring back at me. I’ll never forget that quiet moment.

Today I received this finished portrait from Soldiers Rd. I immediately recognized myself, of course, but to my surprise I immediately caught a glimpse of my father too. I’ve been told all my life that I look “soooo much like my mother”, and I’m proud of that, my mother is the most beautiful woman I know. But today was a sweet reminder that I am also my father’s daughter - a part of him - and he has given me beautiful reasons to be proud of that too.

Photo Credit: Soldiers Rd Portraits

2014 State of the Teeter Family Union

2014-12-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

Photo Credit: Gideon Photography

That’s right. The Teeter Family Union. We up and got hitched, ya’ll! More details on that to follow. In the meantime, I’m here to report that marriage approval ratings for the Teeter’s have hit an all-time high. The transition into marriage hasn’t felt all that different from life before. In other words, not much has changed aside from my name on my driver’s license, including my license picture which, let’s just say, I didn’t think could be worse than my previous license picture, however it just so happened that on that fateful ‘day of the name change’ instead of worrying about how I would appear next to my new last name on my new driver’s license, I spent 20 minutes crying in the DMV parking lot over letting go of my maiden name which apparently was a greater part of my identity than even I knew. I asked the man behind the counter at the DMV if other women ever came in with tear soaked faces when making a name change, obviously trying my best to make light of a situation that, let’s face it, shouldn’t have been as emotionally jarring as it was, nonetheless he looked at me like he was scared of me and shook his head ‘no’ then clicked my picture without any warning and definitely no re-takes. Bloodshot, puffy, tear streaked and all. So basically, in the name of being a new wife, I deserve a second go at that driver license picture. Now that I’m more comfortable with my maiden name as my middle name thus more emotionally stable, I’m gonna to have to "lose" this license. This is one of those cases where the $18 replacement fee is tooootally worth it.

But like I said, not much has changed. Though being married does feeeeeel a little different. Different in ways like suddenly I’m guilty of google searching “how to be a great wife” or “ways to ensure a successful marriage” because why the hell not? I can! And I want to. Because I’m actually really excited to be someone’s wife. And not just anyone’s wife, mind you. I feel pretty great about my choice of husband. Hence the whole google search thing. I mean good things deserve good nurturing and care, you know? We the Teeter’s, in order to form a more perfect union, believe in google searches and e-how tutorials and nurturing and care. Amen.

In other household news, I’ve totally and completely forgotten how to blog. Obviously. I’ll be making a most likely sad attempt at trying to account for lost time on this blog over the course of the next few weeks but don’t hold your breath. For now, this feels good. Stretching my fingers, dusting this little blog off and letting her know, “You’re not alone, my little piece of the internet. I’m still here.” Air hug.

The truth is, 2014 has been preeeeetty full of blogable (that’s a word, right?) events. I mean I got married for crying out loud. That’s like, a really big deal. Also I became an Aunt, went on some great vacations, read some good books, listened to some intriguing podcasts, discovered some passions, learned valuable life lessons and quit a soul-sucking job. Good things. 2014 was good. The State of the Teeter Family Union is secure and thriving. Well, okay, okay, my husband might tell you that I could probably use a job. A real one. I can whip up a mean lasagna, but apparently many housewives (this one) don’t actually earn an income. Whodathunkit? But unemployment aside, we’re strong, we’re happy, and we’re making strides towards a bright future. Long live House of Teeter. Fist pump.

Photo Credit: Gideon Photography

Thirty Before Thirty

2014-02-17T20:52:00.001-07:00

Part of the reason I’ve been m.i.a. from this blog for so long is because I didn’t actually know how long it’d been. You see, as we grow up, nobody really prepares us for the fact that time as an adult moves at a completely different pace than time as a child. Like whoa! One minute it’s August and a couple turkeys later it’s the middle of February and I’m freezing. It just won’t slow down. And as a result, I’m “getting older”. You know, the kind of older where it’s finally time to begin coloring my virgin locks because no matter the age of my heart, the colonies of grey hairs that have claimed a New World on my scalp are certainly rubbing reality in.

It’s not alllll bad of course. I mean, I’m getting married and welcoming the next chapters of my life. And I’m excited about it. Plus let’s be honest, my youth was a ~~wild~~ fun one. No major regrets or injuries. That I can remember. (Kidding, Mom)

So to commemorate my twenties I’ve come up with a list of things that I’d like to accomplish before I turn thirty. Which is in approximately 20 months, so you know, these are DO-ABLE things. And since do-able doesn’t always mean they’ll get done, I’d like to reserve my right to a “roll-over plan”. So like, if 30 comes more quickly than expected (which it probably will, ohemgee), I reserve the right to roll any incomplete tasks over to my ‘35 Before 35’ list. Because what is life without a bunch o’ lists, right?!

Learn calligraphy
Hike The Narrows
Get scuba diving certified
Coachella
Go on a vacation alone
Be debt-free!
NYC
Hike to Kolob Arch
Read 30 books
New Zealand
Get a piano
Make homemade pasta
Drive-Inn Movie (Sean has NEVER been to a drive-inn. Should MY feelings be hurt?)
Get a new tattoo
Audition for a production
Chop my hair
Write a song
Perfect the homemade churro
Paint a picture
Quit my job for something better
Take a dance class
Visit my out-of-town friends
Go on a cruise
Buy a better camera
Minimize More!
Go on a backpacking trip
Hawai’i with Sean
A vacation with my family
Get healthy. Really healthy.
Save $1,000 to spend on myself on my 30th birthday

in which I confess my love on Valentine’s Day

2014-02-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

By now you should know that I'm completely unreliable. I also initially began this post with "I'm starting this year by..." until I realized that, oh my hell we're halfway through February!… and how embarrassing.

Anyway, let's just skip over the excuses for my absence because six months of writer's block is hardly believable and I mean, did anyone actually notice? Anyone = anyone but you, Mom :) Actually, my dear friend Christina DID notice and, let's be honest, she's the real reason I'm turning the key and revving up this engine. It was something she said… something about how I’m the only person hurting myself by not documenting my memories and yadayadayada and something else about how she never regrets the things she posts but always regrets the things she doesn't post, and I was like, "Stop right there. You. Are. Absolutely. Right. What is wrong with me?! No wonder my mind is so cluttered! And where is my computer?!" So, here I am. And could there be any better day than VALENTINE’S DAY to give my Internet Home some long overdue love? I think not.

Oh, Internet Home, I love you and I’ve missed you. You and me, we’re good together, right? Yeah. I think so too. **hugs**

There’s so much I want to tell you. So much we have to catch up on! My brain is such a mess and it will take time, but we’ll get there. We’ll work together to clean this place up. I’m just glad to be back again. You + Me & Frank and … oh, and Sean, because oh yea… he put a crystal on it…

I know!! Just the sort of thing worth documenting.

And since I can’t make my return on VALENTINE’S DAY much cheesier, I’d just like to say on record that I absolutely can’t wait to marry him. A handful of years ago I set my sights on this guy because he was fun and he was a friend and I enjoyed him and, you know, why not? And I am so very glad that a moment of “just for fun” turned into many moments of “I don’t want to be without you” because I certainly don’t want to be without him… and thank my lucky stars I don’t have to be.

Ahhhh… It feels good to be home!

xoxo

Pasadena Please

2013-08-21T13:13:00.001-06:00

My July jetsetter to Pasadena was a quick but full weekend of good friends, good food, good hospitality, good music in a really good place. It was like, a reeeeallly good trip.

Jessica and Will were the kindest hosts and tour guides. We ate all the best food, browsed the best stores and we even got to experience Will's rustic urban office where he spends creative time designing and operating his clothing line, The West is Dead. It also happens to be where he houses his 1/2 lb. black widow, Rosie. She isn't really half a pound but girl is biiiig. We're talking like record breaking big. Like baby-got-back and all. He feeds her crickets and actually she was quite fascinating. We were definitely well taken care of and finally getting to see Will and J’s cute space and life as newlyweds and Los Angelites was exciting.

We caught up with old friends and Laura even got us tickets to a Jay-Leno taping because she's Laura and in the going-on-twenty years I've known her it's just what she always does. She gets tickets to anything she wants. Like magic. But that's for another day. As for Jay Leno, he looked exactly like I thought he would - that chin! - except he's a little taller than television gives him credit for. And no big deal but Katy Perry was the highlight of his show. Katy Perry! I know!

And even though I totally can go teenybopper over Katy Perry and all, she just doesn't have the same physical effect on me that Justin Timberlake does, and because my sweet cousin Shaye May bought too many tickets to Justin Timberlake & Jay-Z at the Rosebowl Stadium, Laura and I got to spend an evening with a crowd of 60,000+ for their Legends of the Summer tour. I mean geeze, I'm still not entirely sure it actually happened, it was that good... except I have these mediocre iphone pictures and video clips and I won't judge you either if you replay this three, four or thirty times. You're welcome.

Santa Monica was gloomy, but is Santa Monica really ever gloomy? I mean, it's Santa Monica and no matter how much gloom hangs over the place, I'll always be glad to be in Santa Monica, don't you agree? I snuck a picture of some of Will's clothes for sale at Fred Segal. Then I was told I couldn't do that so that was that. And then of course the pier. It's not Santa Monica without that pier.

A quick but great weekend! Can’t wait for the next visit! (Keep that air mattress handy, J!)

The Time I Had A Blog

2013-08-14T12:47:00.001-06:00

Oh hey! Remember me?

I have no excuse for my absence. Well, not a good one anyway. Except we’ve been having a fun and busy summer and that should at least count for something, right?? The truth is, I couldn’t blog. I don’t know why. I just couldn’t. I’ve been busy, and hot (guys, this summer is a miserable scorcher), and between summer activities and work and moving and keeping my boyfriend and my cat alive I just didn’t have it in me to blog. The crazy thing is, I’ve had so much to blog about but without a sense of purpose all that just goes out the window. Ya feel me?

Anyway, I feel somewhat rejuvenated lately. We moved apartments, literally moved to the apartment above our old one, and while it’s a great upgrade, moving, no matter how near or far, sucks. It’s draining. It’s been a month and I’ve still put nothing on our walls. Baby steps. I guess you could say I’m trying to “feel” the space out first. Whatever. I’m just tired.

Moving on… I’m trying to pull myself together. I miss my little space on the internet and I miss my friends that gather at my space and interact with me. I miss you guys. So please just bear with me while I take a deep breath and get my head back into the blogging game.

In the meantime, I recently took some pictures of my sisters friend, Victoria, and her soon-to-be husband, Elliott. Victoria and my sister have been BFF’s since they were wearing training bras and that, coupled with the fact that Victoria, Lyndsey and myself were roommates for a while (we’ll call it a “wild adventure”), makes Victoria an honorary sister of mine so it was so fun to spend an evening taking pictures of she and Elliott making out. Haha. But seriously.

Here’s to a loving lifetime more of heavy petting and french kissing!

You’re More Beautiful Than You Know

2013-06-13T11:27:00.001-06:00

My face is fat,

my nose is flat,

my eyes are much too dull.

My lips are thin,

I hate my chin,

My hair is way too full.

I wish I had what that girl has,

Her waist, her thighs, her nose.

The way her hair falls perfectly,

and all her pretty clothes.

But, "No," you say,

"You're fine this way,

Don’t you know its true?

Of all the people you could be,

You're lucky to be you.”

I shake my head,

My eyes are red,

I wish I could agree.

Of all the people in this world,

I don’t feel lucky to be me.

So I turn away,

And you softly say,

"I wish you'd see the glow,

That's shining from the depths of you,

You're more beautiful than you know".

(okay, okay, so I’m not a poet, but it was worth a shot.)

I watched this video last night and had to immediately hit replay because the first time I watched I could hardly see through the tears welling up in my eyes. It spoke to me. Like it was meant for me at that given moment in time, and the truth is, I think it's meant for all of us.

In today's world, we as women (and men), are constantly bombarded with images and ideas of what we should look like like, how we should act, what we should wear and who we should be. It’s exhausting, and it’s unfair, and most of the time it isn’t even true, yet we try and try to live up to these standards that were never our standards in the first place. We worry about every line on our faces, every blemish on our cheeks. I’ve added a few inches to my waist in the last two years and those inches have been haunting me ever since and causing me to hate my body. I hate the way it moves and the way it feels and the way those inches glare back at me when I stand in the mirror and ruthlessly criticize. And that just isn’t fair.

This is MY body. This is MY face. And it’s a lovely face. It’s the face of my ancestors. It’s the eyes of my father and the lips of my mother. It’s mine. And it doesn’t need to be changed. I’m developing crow’s feet around my eyes, but that’s because I smile a lot. And when I’m kissed by the sun, my freckles stand out and shout from the rooftops of my forehead, but my mother gave me those freckles. And sometimes those dark circles under my eyes appear because I stayed up too late watching movies and cuddling with my sweet boyfriend. And despite the fact that the world tells me that those lines and freckles and circles are things that I should be ashamed of, they aren’t, because they represent me. And that is beautiful.

We ARE more beautiful than we know. And we have to believe that because it is the truth. There is no one like me, and there is no one like you and THAT, my friends, is such a sweet gift. We are unique and we each offer something to this world that no one else can. My hope is that we remember this and while we strive to uplift each other and remind each other of our unique beauty, I hope that we also realize the importance of reminding OURSELVES that we are beautiful. Because we are.

We are more beautiful than we know.

Take 7 minutes and watch this video. I hope it speaks to you the way it spoke to me.

Dreaming of 70 Degrees

2013-06-10T11:35:00.001-06:00

We’ve finally hit summer temperatures here in the Beehive State. 100 degrees today, and as much as I complain about our frigid winters, I forget how welcomed those winters are when every inch of my skin starts sticking to every chair I sit in. Or when I start sweating in places one never should sweat. Which is exactly what happened to me all weekend long. It was an uncomfortable weekend to say the least. Uncomfortable in the sense that not only was it hot, but I could not shake this funk I was/am in. It was one of those weekends I probably should’ve just slept through. And poor Sean. How that man puts up with me, I do not know. But he deserves a medal. A big, shiny, gold medal.

Despite the discomfort, I still tried. We spent part of Saturday at Lagoon Amusement Park compliments of Sean’s work. We rode our favorite rides, mine being the swings which, for the record, I could comfortably fall asleep in, and now we can cross stinky sweaty Lagoon off of our annual ‘Summer Must Do’ list. Do you know how many times we’ve been to that place in the last two years?! A lot. We got ourselves Season Passports two summers ago and we used those bad boys up, because these are the types of things you do as an adult before you have children, didn’t you know? You get season passes to your local amusement park and you act like tweens running around the place all summer long. I’ll never regret doing that. Saturday’s scene of screaming babies and toddler’s on leashes confirmed the fact that I’m happy to get all of my amusement park fun out of the way before the babies. Because that place plus babies, no thanks. My children will have their amusement park fun someday. When they’re old enough to take themselves, of course.

The Time Carrie Underwood Called

2013-06-05T19:48:00.000-06:00

You guys. Sit down. Then click play.

3:39.

That's my siblings and I at 3 minutes and 39 seconds.

In Carrie Underwood's new music video.

Whaaaaat?!? THE Carrie Underwood?!?

I know. I had the same reaction.

And then my second reaction was, "What the heck?! We only get FOUR SECONDS?!"

Just kidding.

I'll take a little fame any place I can get it.

Anyway, if you're bored, our original video from the clip used in this music video can be found HERE. It's from a forever special day in our family.

This is just so cool. Four seconds and all. So.freaking.cool. I always knew she'd be my favorite of all the American Idols. You rock, Carrie.

Now how much do you think we could sell her autographed CD for on Ebay?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

But seriously, how much? Ha!

Oh, and if you're having trouble viewing the music video, HERE is a link. You're welcome.

Summa summatime

2013-06-04T13:00:00.001-06:00

1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7 // 8 // 9 // 10

It’s summatime dudes! Which really means, I’ve gotta lay off the pizza and hit the gym a little harder so I can shimmy my way into one of those cute retro one-piece swimsuits (because come on, one-pieces are so in, rightfully so), strap on some salt waters, lather up the sunscreen and sip margaritas on my patio while wearing a floppy hat and tortoise shell sunglasses. Yep, that about sums it up. Happy happy happy Summer. We’ve earned it!

Pride 2013

2013-06-03T09:21:00.001-06:00

There's a beautiful thing that happens here in Salt Lake City at the start of each summer. It's an entire colorful weekend dedicated to equal rights and the LGBTQ community which believe it or not, rooted in this religious mecca, happens to be quite a large community. And it's wonderful. It's a weekend of sparkle, and dazzle, and glitter, and tutus, and bright colors of the rainbow and most importantly, love. True unbiased love combined with a feeling of "togetherness" unlike any other.
It was amazing to see so many people gathered together (on a Sunday in Utah, of all days!) for the same cause. Respect. Because in the end, it really doesn't actually matter who loves who and how, so long as we're able to stand united in respect for one another.

(Okay, but seriously, is that my Dad up there?!?)

Letting Go

2013-05-30T12:49:00.001-06:00

A friend once told me of a practice that sincerely touched me and has stayed with me ever since. When life is rough or when she’s feeling down, she pictures herself as a small child and thinks of that sweet little girl and all of the wonderful things in life that she wants for that little girl, a younger image of herself. And then she imagines scooping that little girl up in her arms and holding her close and tight to tell her how much she loves her. And this has made all the difference in how she feels about and treats herself as an adult.

This practice has not left me since she told me about this. Since our conversation, I’ve often wrapped my arms around myself and pictured the innocent little me with tight curly hair and a sweet smile. And I love that little girl. So much. I want everything that is good for her in life. Because isn’t everything good what every sweet little girl deserves?

Life doesn’t always agree with that. Because that’s just the way life works. We don’t get everything good. As I’ve thought about today’s prompt, React to the term: Letting Go, I’ve come to realize that in my life, letting go is so much more than what the term suggests. It’s true that there are things, places, people and moments in our life that we cling to, often when we shouldn’t and sometimes when we should, and at some point, if we want to carry on, we have no choice but to let go and free ourselves from the pain, and hurt, and in some circumstances even the joy. In my life, letting go has been about this,but it has also more importantly been about forgiveness, personal growth and trust.

That sweet little me with tight curly hair learned a lesson very early on in life about letting go. It wasn’t by choice, not my choice at least, and it took many many years of trying to understand before I came to a place of peaceful forgiveness. And I experienced this as a very young girl without much knowledge of what exactly my heart was going through and how it would dramatically change me. I experienced the freedom of accepting the loss that life had given me and I learned to allow my heart to truly forgive. Because most of the time, when we truly let go, we allow our minds and our hearts to accept the divine course of our lives, and though it’s not always the course we’ve designed for ourselves, we have to have faith in the divinity of our life’s journey and trust that the pain of letting go will always be countered with the sweet reprieve of joy. Forgiveness bears freedom which in turn makes room for joy. And letting go is just the beginning of that cycle. I know that to be so true.

In life, when the exhausting task of letting go presents itself, I hold that little girl with tight curls close, because her happiness is what matters most to me, and I assure her that there is power in “letting go”. There is power in loving yourself. And there is power in having faith in where you are going.

The Soundtrack of My Life

2013-05-29T12:54:00.001-06:00

You’d think this would’ve been the easiest playlist I’ve ever created. Well, it was not. Which is why I cheated and picked more than 5 songs, but you probably did too so whatevs.

The beautiful thing about music is that none of us are immune to the tug on the heart strings each time we hear “that” song. You know the songs I’m talking about - the ones that take you back to butterflies in your stomach, and tear-stained pillows, and dancing around with your girlfriends. Back to the often gut-wrenching, sometimes exciting, sometimes not-so-exciting growing pains of life. The songs that have defined and continue to define who you are and where you are and how you got there. Those ones.

This, in no particular order, is a piece of my life’s soundtrack. A few of the songs that take me back to the precious and altering moments that have shaped me.

Enjoy.

Kaitlyn by Kaitlyn Aiono on Grooveshark

Goblin Valley and Manti-La Sal National Forest

2013-05-29T10:34:00.001-06:00

So yea. The blog challenge. It’s been a challenge alright. I’m a little behind but I’ve participated more days than I’ve missed and that’s what counts, right?!

Yesterday’s prompt was to share pictures. Only pictures. And although I’m still cluttering my “only pictures” post with words, I felt these pictures needed a little introduction because the long Memorial Day Weekend was, after all, a fantastic weekend, fully equipped with my beloved red rocks of the desert and the majestic mountaintops of the Manti-La Sal National Forest. Divine I tell you. (And so very kind of Sean’s sweet and generous parents for letting us crash part of their weekend at the cabin. We sure love the place.)

Goblin Valley & Little Wild Horse Canyon

Joe’s Valley – Manti-La Sal National Forest

Liebster Award

2013-05-28T14:15:00.001-06:00

First things first, I have never won anything. In my life. Ever. I’ve also never been nominated to win anything which might play a part in the fact that I’ve never been a winner which makes this post just that much more awesome because for the first time ever I’ve been nominated AND I’m a winner. I don’t really know how it all works but who cares about the details?! I’m a winner! We’re all winners! Whaaaat?! It’s true! Allison over at The Bauble Dept. nominated me for the Liebster Award, which in all honesty I know nothing about other than it has a cool name and everyone’s a winner and oddly enough it makes me crave seafood, but the fact of the matter is, she nominated me because she’s great and she thinks I’m okay too. You’ve made me a winner, Allison. A real, true, champion winner. Thank you!

So to keep with the tradition of this Liebster Award, which come to find out is an award given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers (Liebster in German means: sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome or something like that, so I mean, not bad, right?!), I must follow these rules:

-Acknowledge the blog that nominated you in a post.
-Share 11 facts about yourself.
-Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger created.
-Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers that you believe deserve some recognition.
-Post 11 questions for them to answer.
-Notify all the bloggers selected that they have been nominated.
-And finally, you can't nominate the blog who nominated you.

Easy enough, yea? I know, maybe it’s not as easy as I thought too. But hey, I’ve never won anything before so by gosh I am going to do this! Ready? Okay. Here we go…

Pictures from our time in Joe’s Valley over the weekend.

11 (not-very-interesting) Facts About Me:

1. I am a lyrical database. I know the words to every song, even songs I didn’t know I know the words to.

2. I whistle by sucking air in not blowing air out.

3. I like ketchup with my eggs.

4. I attended an all-girls school in Auckland, New Zealand during the first part of high school.

5. I like to fish as long as I don’t catch anything.

6. I was Mulan in my Jr. high school show choir’s Disney Spectacular production and obviously I’m still turning down musical theatre offers.

7. I saw all but one of the Harry Potter movies at midnight on each of their release dates, lightning bolt on my forehead and all.

8. I sincerely considered joining the Armed Forces after high school. And then I tried running a mile and I threw up. Boot camp would’ve killed me.

9. I want three children. And I want my mom to raise them because she’ll be better at it (kidding, Mom, I just want you nearby to babysit and potty train).

10. I still don’t understand Twitter and it’s been years now. Help, someone?

11. I don’t like to wear makeup before noon. Eyeliner is a terrible idea when you’re prone to puffy eyes and still half asleep.

11 Questions for Me:

1. What is your favorite thing about yourself (physical or otherwise)?
I have strong, thick, fast-growing fingernails. My hair grows pretty quickly too (grey hairs and all!)

2. What country is at the top of your "must visit" list?
Can I pick a continent instead, because Europe, duh. But really, just ONE country? Fine, Spain. I’m dying to visit “Barthelona”.

3. If you could choose your own name, what would it be?
I wished with all my heart throughout Jr. High School that my parents had named me KeaLani because it’s lovely, right? As I’ve grown older, my own name has become more and more endearing and I’m perfectly happy being Kaitlyn. I mean in the year 2000 it was the 30th most popular name in America so, you know.

4. Salty or sweet?
Salty AND sweet. Pretzel M&M’s anyone?

5. If you had just one whole day off to do absolutely anything you wanted, what would you do?
Day drink. Is that an acceptable answer? Day drink, on a rock, in the desert, with my boyfriend.

6. How many states (and or countries) have you lived in?
Let’s see: California, South Carolina, Utah and New Zealand.

7. What one song would best describe your life right now?
Geeze, Allison, this one is legitimately hard for me. So to help myself out, I took THIS quiz and let “them” do the deciding. And this is what “they” came up with (I have no idea who “they” are but what a bunch of weirdo's):

**Later Note: Everybody gets directed to this ridiculous video so don’t get confused like I did. Continue on! Thanks, Shay!**

My ACTUAL quiz answer is: SONG ABOUT AN ANGEL by Sunny Day Real Estate, because apparently, “You're in love with someone, possibly heartbroken by them. You're trying to make a difficult decision right now, and you're likely filled with pain and emotion.”

That quiz sucks.

8. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
French fries. Oh French fries #pitterpatter

9. If you became rich and famous, what is the one thing you would splurge on?
Just one? A grand Piano. And then an island. I know, you said one, but I had to.

10. What is your all time favorite tv show?
Modern Family. Every week I cry because it really should be a full hour sitcom.

11. Which decade (or century) would you like to have lived in, and why?
The 1920’s, but only if I could be passionately in love with Mr. Gatsby. The Leonardo version.

My Nominees:

*I read every single one of these blogs and these ladies absolutely deserve recognition. They make my life better so, thanks Ladies. Thanks a bunch.*

Christina @ The Murrayed Life
Meg @ Yammering Yankee
Elise @ Everyday Elise
Erika @ ChimERIKAl
Stefani @ Milkshed
Rowena @ Designs by Row
Kayleigh @ The Way I Wanderlust
Katie @ Confessions of a Southern Fashionista
Meghan @ Love Meghan
Laura @ Pieces of Love
Kellie @ The Yuppie Files

Questions for YOU!:

1. If you could spend a day with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
2. Where is your ideal place to live?
3. What’s the best decision you ever made?
4. Sky dive or bungee jump?
5. How would you explain your basic life philosophy?
6. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you try?
7. Favorite book?
8. What are your favorite family traditions?
9. Favorite recipe? Include a link if you have one. I’m hungry.
10. Mountains or Desert? Because we’d all pick the Ocean, right?
11. Soda or pop?

Phew. That was a lot of thinking and typing. Thanks again Allison for letting me play along. And if you too choose to play along, send me a link to your post. I’d love to read your questions and answers!

I got 99 Problems But a…

2013-05-24T11:00:00.001-06:00

I am bossy. I like to be in charge. It’s a quality about myself that I have a real tough love/hate relationship with. It’s one of the those things I’m talking about when I tell Sean, “There are just some things about me that I happen to LOVE even though it drives you crazy so you should probably just learn to love it too”. Poor guy. He has a lot of patience. But really, I am a boss. It stems from being the big-sister-in-charge and it compliments my sometimes obnoxious and strong personality, but ‘tis true, it’s annoying, and sometimes I catch myself being bossy for no good reason other than to be bossy and I’m like, “really dude? grow up”, but alas, it’s just who I am… so YOU should probably learn to love it too, mmmkay?

I start projects. Lots and lots of them. I have a brain full of a million ideas per minute, so I start multiple projects all at once. And then….

…okay so I’m not so good at finishing my projects. I finish them, I do, it just takes me a long while which explains why there are still bottles of acrylic paint, and sponge brushes, and canvas scattered about my living room floor, but truuuuuust me the finished product will be sooo worth it…. next month.

I am moody. Ugh. I said it. I hate being moody. But you guys, I.Am.So.Moody. The first step to recovery is accepting your problems and here, at this very moment, I am accepting my moodiness. Geeze, I’m so sorry. To all my friends and family who know this about me, I’m so sorry. It’s like, can’t we all just keep granola bars on hand whenever I’m around so we can avoid this issue? I’m really emotional, and I like that about myself. But oh man, those emotions, when they start yanking at my heart, or fluttering around in my stomach, or pounding in my head, I get all sorts of uncomfortable, or happy, or anxious, or sad, or frustrated and if the combination is right, I get moody. Because, “just leave me alone I have THINGS to think about!” at which time you need to jam that granola bar in my mouth and shut me up. It’s amazing what a full stomach can do for moodiness, amiright?

I’ve got probs, man. I’ve got probs.

Things School Didn’t Teach Me

2013-05-23T10:21:00.001-06:00

Dear 12-year-old Kaitlyn,

The road ahead is an interesting one. You are equipped with a solid foundation and people who love you, but you’ll soon learn lessons that only life itself will be able to teach you. You will experience joy and heartbreak, become a champion and a failure, laugh and cry (all at the same time), and you’ll live through days you wish would never end as well as ones you wish would only end.

Yes, the road ahead is an interesting one. You are going to make friends, good ones and bad ones, but you, Kaitlyn, are smart and you know wrong from right. You’ve been taught well and you’ve had a solid example of what a woman should be, and you are going to make it through.

So Kaitlyn, keep your head up. The journey is exciting and encouraging and if you’ll just remember a few important “rules of life” you should be just fine…

Don’t be afraid to say no. On an equally important note, don’t be afraid to say yes either.

Honesty man. In everything you do. Be honest.

Love the things you love, not what someone else wants you to love.

People will change, you will change. Through all the change, don’t compromise who you are or what you stand for. The people who are meant to stay with you will change with you and the ones who don’t, you can let go of. Don’t be afraid to let go.

Don’t overanalyze. Embrace your intense emotions. Feel them. Be thankful for the ways they define you and bless you and move on.

Be grateful. I mean seriously. Be grateful every.single.day.

Spend time alone to reconnect and rejuvenate. You need that time alone.

Water balance dude. Water balance.

And when life really sucks, sing. Shoot, just sing all the freaking time. You love that shit.

Carry on my friend. You’ve got this.

I love you.

Love,

27-year-old Kaitlyn

Hires Big H

2013-05-22T15:27:00.001-06:00

I’ve been coming to Hires since, oh I don’t know, since I was 10 at least. It’s actually quite dear to my heart, this little burger joint, and it’s not because it’s dear to everyone in Salt Lake City because it’s been here since 1959. It’s dear to me because it takes me back to sweet memories of Jr. High School showchoir performances, and childhood crushes and warm summer nights and the first time I held baby Ian. It’s just one of those places, the kind that I’ll never stop going to even if it fails miserably at sanitary checks. Okay, maybe then I’ll stop, but so far the sanitation is just fine, don’t worry!
Hires is just comfort food, and it’s goooooood comfort food at that. Try ANY of the famous and/or specialty H’s (veggie H’s if you’re me!) and try to tell me I’m wrong. Those buns! Oh those buns! That’s all I’m going to say. If you reeeally want to experience the Heaven that is Hires, get yourself some fries and fry sauce (you can even buy some to go!) and wash it all down with a Cherry Limeade (or an ice cold root beer if you’re Sean) and thank me later. Oh! And if you want to take a step back in time, or if you’re just lazy like I am, opt for the carhop service. The girls don’t come out in rollerskates but, hey Hires! that’s a great idea!

Favorite Post(s)

2013-05-21T15:54:00.001-06:00

Duuuude you guys, I’m behind on this blogging challenge. I know. I know. I don’t even really know what I missed to be honest, the last few days are a blur. A good blur, but a blur nonetheless.

On a side note, has anyone watched North America yet?! I swear, I’ve felt more patriotic pride in the two hours of watching that show than I’ve felt in the last 27.5 years and that’s A LOT of pride because Heaven knows I love this land. *Que America the Beautiful*

Anyway, it’s a real treat. Go watch it and we’ll talk about those dang jumping spiders later.

Getting on with it….

Today’s blogging challenge topic (are you serious, Jenni? Kidding. You’re great. But realllly….). My favorite posts, well, I don’t really have any favorites. Most of my favorite posts have actually been hidden from my public feed because well, “Hi Mom!”, yea, you get it. But seriously, it just feels awkward going through my past blog posts. Does that happen to you? You read things you’ve written in the past and they just make you feel… I dunno, weird? Maybe it’s just me.

But since I shouldn’t leave you empty handed (because, well, if I did that I’d be FOUR days behind this darn challenge and I’m not even sure I’ll be able to make up the already lost three days), I’ll leave you with THIS post, and it has nothing to do with what I’ve written, it has everything to do with the video attached to the post. You’ll see. It was a dang (I’m trying to be more ladylike and less sailorlike) gooood day in the life of my family. Also (like you’ll care), my sister, Shelby, who put the video together just signed away her rights to it so it could be used in Carrie Underwood’s upcoming video for her song, “See You Again”. No, I’m not kidding. Yes, it’s that awesome.

If you think I cheated you and you really want to browse through my awkward posts, and I don’t blame you if you don’t, I’ve listed some posts over to the right side there under,’New Here?’. Knock yourself out.

Oh. And as if I haven’t “plugged” my family enough lately, check out Alex’s new song that he co-wrote with John Legend and his video that premiered on MTV this morning. He’s going places! (And I wanna come too, Alex, I wanna come too. So can I have dibs on a Grammy ticket?!)

I Forgot To Blog

2013-05-20T09:39:00.001-06:00

But you probably didn’t miss me, right?

This weekend, well, it was everything it was supposed to be. (Minus the blogging part. Sorry, I really dropped the ball on that one). But in my defense, it’s not every weekend that my very bests are able to get wild together, and wild ~~I got~~ we got.

We are lucky girls. I don’t take that fact for granted. It’s not entirely common to hold onto the same group of friends since childhood, but in our case, we’ve been blessed to do just that while collecting a few new friendships as well. We are lucky girls indeed.

I slept most of the day yesterday. I even slept while watching Discovery Channel’s 7-part series, North America, which I’ve been waiting to see for weeks now, but I couldn’t help it. These girls wore me out. And it was worth it. So worth it.

I’ll be back to blogging the challenge later today. Right now, I need some ibuprofen.

A Picture & This Weekend

2013-05-17T11:54:00.001-06:00

Sissy’s last day as an unmarried woman on the beaches of San Diego

This weekend. Ahh! I’m so excited about this weekend.

Today’s prompt is to share a favorite picture of yourself. Now I know this isn’t a picture of JUST myself, but it is a picture of myself and six others who make up who I am. My very very best friends. You see, we’re a lucky group up there. Many of us have been friends since Elementary School, 4th grade in Ms. Hamilton’s class to be exact, and the rest since Jr. High School, which means we’re going on up to 20 years of friendship this group and I. Amazing, right? I know, we haven’t killed each other in 20 years and it’s totally amazing.

These days getting all 7 of us together is not quite as easy or often as it once was. We’ve begun to grow and move on, some have started families of their own and other’s have moved to bigger and better places, but this weekend, oh this sweet weekend we get to be together again and I’m so excited I could cry. Because you see, these girls, they know me. They know I’m ridiculous and emotional and sometimes totally inappropriate and they love me. And I love them. And did I mention I am so so so excited for this weekend? Let the debauchery and good times begin!

My Lot In Life

2013-05-16T15:45:00.001-06:00

The real double rainbow that set across Salt Lake City yesterday via The Salt Lake Tribune

As I’ve read through the beautiful and touching posts from today’s challenge prompt about our “lots” in life, one universal truth seems to be very clear and so embraced by many of us: our greatest lots in life seem to also be our greatest blessings in life.

I have a lot in life. But I’m not going to focus on what my lot is because my lot is not what’s important. How I experience my lot and grow from it is what is important.

Without our lots, and the lots of others, we wouldn’t know the struggle, the pain and the exhausting yet exhilarating fight of enduring to the end. And without that fight, how are we to know the sweetness of success, the loving warmth of acceptance and the brilliant illumination of the sun after the dreadful storm? Our lots forge and shape us into the strong individuals that we are. They teach us invaluable lessons and ignite the fire of perseverance within us. Our lots may break us, but they are meant to. Because after the break, begins the mending, the strengthening, the teaching, the clarity and the life-shaping experiences and isn’t that what this is all about?

I have a lot in life. We all do. I have a lot. A lot of love, and joy, and peace, and contentment. A lot of support, and hope and determination to cherish the days that I’m blessed to wake up to and the moments I’m fortunate to share with the people I love. I have a lot of gratitude and humility and wisdom. And no matter the nature of any given lot that I have and have yet to endure, I know without a doubt that my lots will continue to encourage me to fight and carry on.

And that is truly a great blessing.

Alex Aiono. Hey I know Him!

2013-05-16T11:49:00.001-06:00

While I’m sitting here pondering today’s blogging challenge prompt, I thought I’d share this gem. One: because I can’t believe I haven’t already, and two: because I’m just so dang proud of this kid (and I’m kind of hoping that when he takes out Bieber and becomes the next big thing, I can just ride on his coattails of fame all the way to the Broadway stage).

I love this kiddo. You should too. Tell your daughters.

Meet Alex HERE.

And his tour is just about over but maybe you can find him in a city near you HERE.

And no, this post is not sponsored, but it should be. No worries, Alex, just take me on tour with you next time and we’ll call it even.

A Day In The Life

2013-05-15T14:58:00.001-06:00

I can assure you that you don’t care what my everyday looks like. But since Jenni chose this prompt on a weekday (booooring) I’m just going to tell you quickly and get on with it.

My desk is terribly messy all the time, kind of like my bedroom sans the handgun.

I work in a criminal defense law office. Now before you gasp and tell me I’m a terrible person for being on the criminal’s side, this is America people. Our justice system allows for people charged with crimes to be defended. That’s just the way it goes. So the next time your husband is peeing in the backyard and gets a ticket for lewdness, call our office.

The truth is, somedays are pretty exciting. And the days that aren’t are usually spent at my desk looking up all my friends’ speeding tickets and various other crimes and then calling them to let them know what I found, so I make each day exciting no matter what. My job in one word is, “paperwork”. We just kill trees over here for a living (I’m not proud of that, I promise, but it’s true). Aside from that, I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of what I do. Mostly because I’ll bore you to death but also because I fear my boss is going to someday happen upon this blog and fire me. Kidding. He doesn’t even know how to copy and paste.

After work today, I’ll go home, I’ll go run, I’ll make dinner (cereal sounds good) and I’ll catch up on Revenge because I’m behind and something big happened on Sunday. I swear if they killed off Daniel, I’m boycotting.

But see what I mean? Nothing exciting to see here, I just had to participate because I’m halfway through this freaking blogging challenge and I’ll be damned if I miss another day. (I’ve missed one day. But I’ll make up for it somehow. You can’t wait, I’m sure).