I did not grow up with dogs. We got a cat when I was 10, and then my parents got two cats when I was about 19 or 20. We were a cat family.

But…

I knew I wanted a dog. My husband and I talked about getting one for years. We would get a dog but when? In the craziness of little kids and the military, it never seemed like the right time.

One day, about 8 years ago, my husband came home and said a friend of his had a one-year-old dog he needed to rehome. He asked if we were ready? And I said I wasn’t sure. I had never had a dog, and he had.

He said he thought she would be a good dog for us to have. So I agreed that we would bring her home. Our first dog together.

My boys were 3, 7, and 9 years old at the time and were so excited about getting a dog. I had some fears, particularly my son with Autism. Would he like the dog? What if he didn’t?

But…we really didn’t have much to worry about. Gwen joined our family in 2014 at the age of one, and fit in so perfectly. We all fell in love.

She became my co-worker, our playmate, and protector. But, as the years went by I started to wonder if we should add another dog to our family. I wasn’t sure though because Gwen was so perfect for us, what if bringing another dog in messed that up? What if they were just too much work?

Then this summer we started talking seriously about getting a second dog, a puppy this time. Again I wasn’t so sure but I knew that the boys could help with a puppy. I also knew I wanted another dog, I just wasn’t sure what kind.

I started watching the local animal shelter’s page. Every day. We wanted a male puppy and a smaller breed than Gwen was. There were a few that looked like they might be a good fit but I still wasn’t sure. Then one day I was.

I was looking at the new pups that came in and saw him. My little guy. I sent the photo to my husband and he asked if I really wanted him. I said yes, and he said go for it. I still wasn’t 100% sure but there was just something about this puppy.

Later that afternoon, they posted a photo of him on Facebook and he was getting a ton of likes. “Oh no! Someone is going to adopt him!” I thought. I called the shelter immediately. I wasn’t totally sure of the process but 15 minutes later I had adopted him with plans to pick him up the next afternoon.

I am not the type of person to do something like that, but that dog already had my heart.

That night I ran to Target and the pet store to get all the puppy things. Then the next day my 14-year-old and I drove to the shelter to pick him up.

They placed him in my arms and I knew he was ours. We took him home, my son sitting in the back with him, and started puppy life. We were told he was a border collie and blue heeler mix, but we are not so sure on the border collie part.

He is now almost five months old and we have had him for almost three months. It seems hard to believe. I feel like he is growing every day.

Max fits in perfectly with our family. The boys have been rockstars with him, and he and Gwen are becoming BFFs. He plays, and runs, and then crashes hard! We love him so much!!!

I am finding that being a two-dog family is much different than a one-dog family. There is a bit more excitement and more care required, but I can’t imagine life without our Max. He has made us so happy and is so very loved by all of us.

I am not sure I will ever own another cat in my life. But I do know there will always be dogs!

Are you a cat or a dog person??? Or both???

The post I Will Always Be a Dog Person appeared first on Blogging Julie.

You may have seen the idea of blue pumpkins for kids on the Autism spectrum floating around social media the last few weeks. The idea is that our kids can carry these pumpkins around, then people will be aware they are on the Autism spectrum and give them grace about how they are asking, or not asking for candy.

I really appreciate the thought that when into this. As a mom of a teenage son on the spectrum, I really want other people to understand him better. I wouldn’t want anyone to judge him because of the way he tricks or treats. I want him to have just as much fun as any other kid might have.

But…

I think this leads to a bigger issue. Kindness, and in this case, kindness to all children, no matter what.

There are so many reasons why a kid might not be able to say, “trick or treat” properly when they come to your door. They could be really shy. I was as a child. It was very hard for me to talk to people I didn’t know.

They could have speech delays, my oldest son couldn’t speak in full sentences until he was 6 years old. They could be on the Autism spectrum or have other special needs that mean they are not going to follow the expected pattern when it comes to trick or treating.

As far as costumes go, I want my kids to be dressed up, but I am also aware that some kids just can’t do that the way everyone expects them to. My son is very picky about his clothing. It is totally possible that a costume that worked well for photos, is suddenly too itchy to wear for the rest of the night. It is possible that the child wasn’t going to go out, and then did at the last minute.

As we get ready for another Halloween night, let’s remember that Halloween is a community holiday. We like to trick or treat around our neighborhood. We love to see our neighbors and know that we all live here in a community with one another. And I would hope that anyone who came across any child would extend grace and kindness to them, give them some candy, and not worry about anything else.

Are there rude children out there? Yes, there are. Do some kids come across that way because of their special needs? Yes, they do. Can you always tell the difference? No, not always.

The post We Don’t Need Blue Pumpkins, We Need More Kindness appeared first on Blogging Julie.

And now, here we are, decades later, still the best of friends. We went from writing notes in class to texting every day. We have been through the craziness of middle school and high school years, from going off to college, getting married, and having children. She has four, I have three but they are all between the ages of 10-17.

Sometime in our 30s, we decided we really wanted to start taking trips together, but at the time it seemed impossible. We still had little kids and no budget to really do this. But then…time went on, and we were finally able to plan our first trip.

We turned 40 in 2019 and we knew we had to start this tradition! So a few months later, we met up in St. Louis and celebrated turning 40. Our birthdays are just two days apart and planned a great trip. Towards the tail end of that trip, we started thinking about all the other places we wanted to go. We pretty much assumed, sometime in the spring or summer of 2020, we would head somewhere and celebrate 41.

We booked a trip in February of 2020, all ready to celebrate in June. But we all know what happened in March. What were we going to do? We waited all these years and now this. What the heck?

I was a little worried about this trip, I had a layover and wasn’t totally sure how safe it would be to travel that summer. My husband, who is in the national guard, was called up for the riots that summer. Our trip was canceled and we struggled to figure out what we would do to make up for it.

By August, COVID was still around, and we didn’t want to have to fly somewhere far or change planes anywhere. So we came up with a plan for my friend to fly to Nashville and we would spend a few days at the Opryland hotel. I love that place!

We had a great visit, enjoyed some yummy food, and were able to get away, even though it was four months after we had planned.

Little did we know that COVID would still be a factor when it was time to plan our 42 trip. But here we were in 2021, still not wanting to venture too far. My friend had since moved to Missouri, so we decided that I would plan to fly up there and we would spend some time in Branson together. I had flight credits after all.

So I joined her up there, and my trip up north was an experience all on its own, which I will share in another post. We had a great time, just relaxing, doing what we wanted, finding a few bookstores, and spending some time away from all the realities of life. We both really needed it.

I am so thankful we can take these trips, even through these crazy times. Getting away and taking a break is a must for me these days. I love my family, kids, husband, and dogs, and I love what I do, but I need to take my breaks, and thankful I get to spend them with my best friend year after year. I can’t wait to see where we will go in the future!

Have you ever taken a trip with a friend? Where did you go? How do you get a break???

The post I Started Going On Birthday Trips With My Best Friend, Then COVID Hit appeared first on Blogging Julie.

So You Want to Start a Blog? A Simple Blogging Guide to Get You Started!

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Blogging! If you are reading this, you know what a blog is. You like to read them. Have you ever wanted to start your own blog?

I started my first blog way back in 2004 when I was pregnant with my first child. The blog was very simple, mostly just photos and short updates. This was before Facebook or even Myspace took off and there really wasn’t such a thing as social media.

In 2009 I started my first “public blog” and have been blogging regularly ever since. I find blogging a great way to get my story out, to help others, and to become a part of a community that works together and helps each other out.

So if you do want to start a blog, where should you start?

You Need An Idea For Your Blog

The first step to becoming a blogger and starting a blog is to figure out what your blog is going to be about. There are so many options out there that choosing something can seem overwhelming. What you want to do is sit down and ask yourself what you want to write about.

Here are some examples of the types of blogs people create:

• Lifestyle blog- About your life in general, from the kids to date nights. Pretty much anything goes.
• Political blog– You would share your political beliefs, news stories, etc.
• Mom blog– You would blog a lot about your kids and your life as a mom.
• Review blog-You would write product reviews based around a theme. For example, baby products or pet products.
• Photography blog– You would post photos you have taken. Not as much writing. If you have a local business a photo blog can be a great way to get your work noticed.

As you can see there are many different types of blogs. You can really get as creative as you want when you start a blog. If you have a hobby or a passion, you can create your blog around that.

If you just want to blog about whatever comes to mind, you can do that too. Over time your blog will take shape, even if the blog is more general when you first start out. Sometimes letting the blog evolve is a good idea.

Where Should You Blog

Once you have decided what your blog is going to be about, you need to figure out where you are going to do your blogging. There are a few options out there depending on if you want to spend money on the blog or keep blogging for free.

If you want to start your blog without spending a dime, I would recommend using Blogger. Blogger is by far the easiest way to blog and the most user-friendly. WordPress also has a free option but I personally find using it for your main blog frustrating. You also can not put any type of ad on a free WordPress blog. If you want to start a blog and make money by doing so, a free WordPress blog is not the way to get started.

You need to decide if you want to have a domain name or not. These do cost money but you can usually find a good deal where you only have to pay $1 to set one up. If you do buy a domain name, you can have it redirect to your Blogger blog.

If you are willing to spend a little bit of money, you can buy hosting and put your blog on your own self-hosted WordPress site. I like this option the best because having your own site gives you the most flexibility when it comes to your blog. You do have to pay a little bit each month or per year for hosting but I think doing so is worth it.

Time To Set Up Your Blog

So you now know what you are going to blog about and where you are going to put your blog, now it is time to get things set up.

If you are going with Blogger, their setup is pretty simple. Once you decide on a name for your blog it will take you to the area where you can choose your template and make other changes. Makes sure to fill out your “About Me” section so your readers can learn a little bit about you.

With self-hosted WordPress, it might be a little more complicated. You can choose to use one of the free themes or buy a premium one. I like to use Genesis but there are free themes that look nice too.

Spend some time figuring out what you want your blog to look like. Some bloggers keep things simple and others like to create something a little more elaborate. You can start with simple and later on change things as you see fit.

Make sure you do have the basics on your blog:

• Contact Me- So people can contact you. If someone wants to ask you a question or find out about advertising with you, they are going to need an email address.
• Privacy Page– A must if you want to put ads on your blog.
• Google Analytics or another way to track your stats.
• Where people can find you on Social Media.
• Disclosure Policy– If you are going to have any type of ads, affiliates or paid reviews on your site.

Once you have done at least that, you should be good to start writing!

Writing Your Blog Posts

When it comes to writing your blog posts, you want to make sure you are doing so on a regular basis. It can be once a week, three times a week, or whatever works for you. You might try writing every weekday to start out with. This will help your blog get some exposure.

I try to make sure I am doing all of this when I write a blog post:

• At least 600 words.
• Good searchable title.
• End with a question to get more people to comment.
• At least 1-2 photos to add to the post and make it more likely to end up on Pinterest.

When it comes to what you should write about, that depends on your topic. Since it is your blog, you can write about whatever you want. Keep in mind about your audience. Some blogs allow you to write about whatever comes to mind and others need to stay on topic.

It would be a good idea to start a notebook with blog post ideas. You can write in the notebook whenever you feel inspired so you will always have a list of ideas to go to when you have time to write.

Blogging Resources

• Leaving Work Behind
• Blog Tips to Help You Make Money Blogging – ProBlogger
• The Smart Passive Income Blog
• Alex Beadon
• Inspired Bloggers Network

Now, Go Start A Blog

Now that you know the basics of how to start a blog, go out and make your own.

Come back here and let me know what it is, I would love to check out what you have created  

* This post contains affiliate links!

The post So You Want to Start a Blog? A Simple Blogging Guide to Get You Started appeared first on Blogging Julie.

I use to believe a good way to make money from home was by joining an MLM. I grew up with grandparents that sold Amway, and we had SO many Amway products in our home.

Back in 2011, I joined Scentsy, and actually found a little bit of success early on. Enough to keep me invested in it for quite a few years. Still, I ended up leaving in 2017. Why? Well, things changed and it became increasingly harder to run the business the way I wanted to.

I started thinking about what I liked about being a part of Scentsy and it was the community. Yes, I still loved the product but at the end of the day, it was about the relationships and how we were all working towards similar goals. And I knew I could find the same thing in the blogging world.

And…the big difference there was that I had so much more freedom with my blogging and freelance career. So much more. And so in December of 2017, right after Christmas, I didn’t make my minimum and I was no longer a consultant. I have not thought about going back once, and never would.

I still like the product. I will still buy it. But I no longer want to be the person that sells it.

In the years since I have left, there have been podcasts and YouTube videos, and documentaries coming out about MLMs and what was really going on behind the scenes.

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This past weekend, I watched LuLaRich, a documentary about LuLaRoe and how it grew and then failed, terribly. LuLaRoe has a little bit of a different business model than I had experienced in my direct sales days. For one thing, the initial investment is so much more. And you received products that you would sell directly, vs placing orders online. I did have an inventory but that was optional.

That being said, there are similarities. There seems to be a trend with every MLM. The company is created, and if you can get in towards the beginning, and stick with it, there is money to be made. People are excited about the product, and it might just sell itself. If you can do it, you can more easily add to your team as more find out about the product and want in on selling it too.

And all of that can be great! But then with more and more consultants, the market gets more and more saturated. Companys also like to change their rules. For example, when I started selling Scentsy, I was able to do a giveaway on my blog whenever I wanted. This was great for me and helped me build my team. Then the rules changed and that was harder to do.

I get it, a company changes rules for a reason but when you feel like it is taking away from what is working for you, it is hard not to get frustrated. And sure, you should be able to pivot and figure out a new and creative way but the more limitations on your business, the hard it feels to move forward.

As time goes on and the market gets saturated, it is hard to find customers, you can’t get into fairs because they usually have a 1-2 consultant limit for your company, and it gets harder to add people to your team.

And I know, running a successful MLM business is hard work but so is running any type of business and for me, I wanted freedom in my choices, freedom you can’t get on the MLM side.

There is also such a huge push to talk to everyone you know about buying the product or joining your team. You need to be hosting parties non-stop and that gets overwhelming quickly.

And that’s not even touching on how easily you can fall into debt by selling an MLM product. How easy it is to talk yourself into keeping more inventory because that will help you get to the next level. How easy it is to want to buy all of the cool products coming out. How easy it is to feel like you are working so hard and receive so little on your paycheck.

So the question is, should you join an MLM here in 2021? Maybe? I mean, you really need to think about this decision and realize that in most cases you are not going to make a ton of money. You will have to sell to everyone you know and can fall into some practices that might have been okay back in the earlier 2000s but are so overused these days that you just end up annoying everyone in your circles.

I have heard so many stories of women who have just had babies, posting on social media and then getting messages that they just need to join this MLM to “get their bodies back”. This is the gross side of MLMs and not something I want to be a part of.

If you have the skills to be an amazing marketer, if you have the skills to rock a business, do it for yourself and not an MLM. That way YOU hold the controls and it truly IS your business.

I really do think MLMs and Direct Sales had their time but here in 2021, it’s a different story. Are people still making money doing this? Yes. Will it be easy for a new person to do so these days? I really don’t have high hopes that they would.

I have heard that MLMs are predatory by nature and I can see that argument. I also know some amazing people who are still selling for MLMs and making a living doing so without feeling that way. To me, it’s a complicated issue.

If you are interested in joining an MLM, do your research! What are people saying about the product? Is it holding up or are a lot of people upset about the product or the company in general? What are people saying about the owners of the company? Are they good people or do they come with a lot of controversies?

If you start selling for the company, what will be required of you and what are the expectations? Are they promising that you can make millions? Or are they more realistic about it?

How do they train their consultants? Do you see their consultants doing things to get sales that you don’t feel comfortable with? Is there any other option to sell a similar product vs going with an MLM?

Etsy is an amazing place where creatives can sell their own products. You can find candles and soaps and bookmarks and journals and pretty much anything someone can create on there. And while there are rules to selling on their website, these business owners have so much more freedom than those in MLMs do.

Some might say that with that comes the ease of running a business. With an MLM, you basically track your sales and inventory, your business expenses and get a 1099 at the end of the year. With your own business, there is a little bit more to it from that. Either way, you will be tracking what you have made.

MLMs can offer you trips, to Mexico, or Jamaica, or a nice cruise. They can offer you a community of people, and a purpose for all that you do. However, these things are also possible outside of the MLM business model.

What have your experiences been with an MLM or Direct Sales company???

The post Should You Join an MLM? appeared first on Blogging Julie.

Today is my dad’s 76th birthday! I also haven’t seen him in over three years. Part of this is because I live in Tennessee and he is in California. The other part of this is COVID. But…I am going to see him in a few weeks as he and my mom will be out to visit soon. I can’t wait!

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Since the pandemic began, we have video chatted using our Facebook Portals once a week. This has been the best thing ever. I sit down with my parents and we talk about our week, what we have been reading, and watching on tv, and anything on our minds. I am so thankful we decided to do this.

Even though the miles seem so very far apart, being able to talk every week has kept us close. I am so glad we have that.

My dad is an amazing man. Born and raised in California, he served in the US Air Force, became a librarian, and then a college history teacher. And he has taught me so many things over the years.

Dad taught me to be a writer

I owe my writing career to my dad. I truly do. My senior year high school English teacher had just gotten back from a trip around the world a year before. While his stories were fascinating, we didn’t learn a whole lot and that didn’t exactly set me up for college. I think we started the Tale of Two Cities but then never went back to it.

So every college paper I had him proofread for me. He would edit the paper, and send it back. He was the ultimate editor through my college years. And I can’t thank him enough for that.

Dad taught me to be a reader

My dad reads as much, if not more than I do. He always has. He has the most amazing set of bookshelves in his office and as an adult, we are always talking books. I love that.

We are both currently going through Louise Penny’s Three Pines series. I am on book 11, and. he is re-read on book 3 or 4.

I love to read more than anything else in the world, and I owe that to him. Thank you dad for teaching me the importance of a book and the worlds you can find by diving into them.

Dad taught me the importance of hard work

My dad has always worked hard. I so appreciate that. He taught me the importance of making your own money, and to always save some of it. He taught me to give when I can and be thankful for all that I have.

Dad taught me to learn about your world

Dad took us all over California as a kid. From Gold Country to the Missions to Yosemite. There was so much to learn about and he wanted us to see it. Thank you dad for taking us to those amazing places. I will always remember them.

Dad taught me to enjoy the musicals and sing the songs

My dad raised me on musicals. Rodgers and Hammerstein, the Fiddler on the Roof, and the Music Man. I have never really been comfortable singing publicly like he has but I appreciate it. When COVID hit, he and his choir took to Zoom and created some amazing pieces together without being in the same room.

Music means so much to him and it means so much to me too.

I love you, dad. Thank you for being you. See you soon

The post What My Dad Taught Me appeared first on Blogging Julie.

Getting Through the Holidays With a Child Who Has Autism

Christmas can be a stressful time of year for anyone. Christmas with a special needs child can add another layer of things to think that. As a mother of a child with Autism, Christmas has had to change a little from what I would thought it would be like.

I know my son, what he can handle, and what he can’t. We can’t always do everything everyone else does and that is okay. We can still make the holiday season a good one. It just might look a little different then it does in other households.

The Food

My son is a very picky eater. I totally get that. I have to make sure he is eating enough and enough of those foods are healthy for him, which isn’t always easy. But even something simple like a cookie can cause an issue.

The kid does not like chocolate chip cookies. He loves sugar cookies. He loves chocolate but not chocolate chip cookies. He loves steak but not chicken or turkey. He likes carrots and broccoli sometimes but no other veggies. It’s a challenge when a lot of holiday activities include food.

Will he like what is there? Will he find anything to eat? I learned that it is best to plan that there will not be much he will want to eat and feed him before or after the event. That way he can grab a roll or two as a snack and I won’t have to worry he is missing a meal. This takes a lot of the stress off.

The Crowds

My son has a hard time with crowds and loud places. He can handle them sometimes for a limited amount of time. I have to keep this in mind as a lot of the community events around here are very loud and crowded.

We don’t get to do everything with him and that is fine. I try to make sure I am aware of how busy a place is going to be before we go. Preparing my son ahead of time helps too or just letting him know how long we are going to stay at that place. In some cases we might even bring headphones for him to wear.

Sometimes things are too much and we have to cancel our plans or go home early. The difficiult part about this is that he does have two brothers that might not understand why we have to go. That is why I try hard to plan ahead as much as possible.

Safe Places

I try to make sure that if we are all going to go to someone else’s house for a holiday party or get together that it is a safe place for him. A place where people understand who he is. I find that if we are not in a place like that I stress out way too much and it is hard for me to relax.

If my husband is gone, I have to be even more careful about it as I won’t have that extra set of hands to help if need be. Luckily my oldest son can help with the 7-year-old so I can help my son with Asperger’s get through a situation if need be.  I am thankful for friends with safe places for me to bring my son to play and enjoy time with others.

The gifts

When someone has Asperger’s they tend to focus on one thing. This is especially true when it comes to Christmas gifts. It is hard to not want to give my son exactly what he wants.

For one thing, I know how fixed on it he is. However, sometimes the gift is not affordable or not something I want to have in this house. He was a little stuck on one item that I just didn’t think was worth the price. He kept asking for it over and over and I had to tell them it just wasn’t going to happen.

I tried to get him to focus on something else and eventually he did. This was hard but I am glad I didn’t just buy him that toy. He also told me to never make chocolate chip cookies again and you know that is never going to happen.

I feel like anything to do with my son with Asperger’s has to be planned out. If it isn’t, things might not go well and then I get frustrated, he gets frustrated, and it doesn’t make for an enjoyable time. I want the holidays to be a special and fun time for my kids. I hope that I can weigh what my son needs with what we can do and push him just enough to grow but not where things are going to spiral out of control. This is a hard balance sometimes.

What about you? Do you have a child with special needs? How do you handle the holidays?

The post Getting Through the Holidays With a Child Who Has Autism appeared first on Blogging Julie.

The Best Way To Help Your Sibling After They Have Lost Their Spouse

There have been so many times this year when stop in my tracks and think about the fact that my 35-year-old brother became a widower. There is just something so powerful about that word, widow or widower. When you first think about that word, you might picture someone in their 80s, bringing flowers to the grave of their beloved spouse of 50 years.

But my brother was just 35, married almost 4 years when his wife lost her battle with depression. This event changed our family. We were suddenly, no longer the same.

All these months later, my brother is doing amazing, truly is amazing. He has found love again, and we are all so happy for him.

As I was thinking about this past year though, I couldn’t help but think about how siblings can help one another out. I know my brother has been there for me so many times over the years. My husband has been deployed four times, and he has been there. To play with my kids, or to be a listening ear as I told him how hard of a day I was having.

So when I flew into California on that day in February and hugged him for the first time after he lost his wife, I knew this was a whole nother level for us. My little brother had lost his wife, and now I could be there for him.

That first night, the four of us sat in my brother’s childhood room. I don’t even remember what we said, but we cried together. We were all still in so much shock that day. A shock that would last for months. Even now when I think about the phone call that let me know what had happened, I still can’t 100% believe it.

As an older sister, I want my brother to be happy. I want him to find love like I did. I want him to be able to have a family like I do. I wanted all this for him, and I felt like that night in February that all got ripped away. And my heart broke. I didn’t know how to make it better. I didn’t know how to help him.

But I tried and here is how I think someone can help their sibling that has lost a spouse:

Be there physically

If you can, go and be by their side. You can hold their hand, give them a hug, and know you are right there for them. Being able to be right by my brother’s side was helpful, and I know I would have wanted him near mine if I had lost my spouse. If you can’t be there physically, don’t beat yourself up over it, there are others ways to help, and you can go out at a later time.

Be there emotionally

If you can’t be there physically, you can be there emotionally. Even though I was able to be with my brother, I could only stay for 10 days. I had to head back home, and I knew that was going to be hard. But I also let my brother know I was always there for him. All he had to do was pick up the phone.

Listen, listen, listen

When someone loses their spouse, you need to listen to them. Even if what they are saying is just the grief talking. Be a good listener, let them vent, let them cry, let them tell you how unfair they feel it all this, let them know it’s okay to be sad, angry, or however they might feel during this time.

Help with little things

Help them with the little things. I was with my brother through all the details of planning a funeral. It was so very emotional for us. At one point, while touring cemeteries, we turned to each other saying that we didn’t think we would have to do this for each other while in our 30s.

Even if you can’t offer much, offer something. Maybe it is making a meal, maybe it is looking through their spouse’s phone for a phone number because they can’t, maybe it is helping them decide on a song for the memorial service. There are so many things that need to be done, especially when a young person dies unexpectedly. Be there to help with the little details, they will be very much appreciated.

Let them love again

There will come a time when your sibling will start dating again. It doesn’t matter if you think it is too early or not. Be on their side in this. Be a person they can come to about dating, about who they are meeting, and what they are going through. Dating after a spouse’s death is such an individual choice. Some are ready after a few months, others not for a few years. They will need someone to talk to about this, and you can be that person.

Losing a spouse is one of the hardest things someone will have to go through. It can be shocking, and as a sibling, you might not know how to be with your brother or sister who is hurting so much. Here is the person you spent your childhood fighting with and now all you want is for them to be happy and not be in any pain. It’s a strange thing.

Just be there as much as you can, let them depend on you, let them cry, and you will truly be able to help them through this difficult time. 

The post The Best Way To Help Your Sibling After They Have Lost Their Spouse appeared first on Blogging Julie.

There was a time when I thought I would have a houseful of little women. Four girls. I even picked out names for them. As I grew up I thought that having two of each would be great.

Then I started having my own children and thought that having a boy first would be great. The whole older brother thing. When I had my second son I was really excited because two older brothers would be even better. I wanted three kids, had two boys and knew I would always have a daughter, right?

Before I got pregnant with my 3rd son I was helping my mom clean her garage and we came across a lot of my old dresses. I wanted to take them home with me to save for later. Although they are very 1980s style dresses, I would have loved to put them on a daughter, just for pictures if nothing else.

I just knew in my heart that someday my own daughter would get to wear them.

Then we got pregnant with #3. We tried a little bit for a girl. Did you know you can do that? The science kinda makes sense. Basically, what you are doing is making the chances higher of having a particular gender. It isn’t full proof of course.

When I got pregnant, knew I could have another boy and I knew I would love him very very much but I also knew how badly I wanted a daughter. I have such a great relationship with my own mom that I couldn’t image a world without that, not then. I couldn’t imagine a world without being a mom to a little girl.

I couldn’t imagine doing all the things I had always thought I would do with one. Of shopping on the other side of the store. Of buying dresses and girl scouts and Barbies, oh how I couldn’t wait to buy Barbies!

We went in for our ultrasound and I still felt so strongly that they would tell us the baby was a girl. Until they didn’t…until the tech said “boy.” What? But this is my girl! What is going on?

I knew that I was going to have to mourn the loss of never having a daughter. This was our last baby and he was a boy. That was all there was to it. Don’t get me wrong, I was not mourning having a son, I was mourning the fact that I would never be the mom to a little girl, something I always thought I would do.

Because when you think your life is going to look a certain way, and it looks different, you have to take some time to deal with that emotionally. And that’s ok.

Fast forward 7 years and I LOVE having three boys. I can’t imagine life any other way. I am not sad about not having a daughter. I am happy that I have THREE sons. I love being the only girl in this house, besides our dog of course.

When a friend finds out they are having a third of the same gender, I get so excited for them. And other moms who are having their third boy? Welcome to the club ladies

I am not sure why I felt so strongly that I would have a daughter, but it just goes to show that life never really ends up the way you think it might. I never could have imagined being the mom with all the boys, but here I am and I can’t imagine life any other way.

Are you a family of all boys too???

The post Not Having a Daughter When You Thought That You Would appeared first on Blogging Julie.

10 Things You Will Learn Once You Become A Blogger

I started my first blog way back in 2004, but I really started taking it seriously a few years later and have been blogging on a regular basis ever since. Over the years I have learned so much being a blogger. There is always so much to learn, even if you have been blogging for a while.

As I look back over the years, here are 10 things I have learned from life as a blogger:

1. Blogging is work

Blogging is fun, but blogging is also work. There are a lot of tasks us bloggers have to do each and every day beyond writing a blog post. Once we write the post, we need to share on social media. We also need to keep our social media accounts going and connect with our readers. We need to come up with ideas on a daily basis and all of that can be a bit exhausting at times.

2. You will have true fans

As a blogger, you will start to gain true fans. These are the people your blog is for. They will support you, read what you write, and come back for more. They will be the ones who share you on social media and the ones that will be your biggest fans.

3. Not everyone will like what you write

You have your fans, but you also will have people who don’t like what you are writing about. And sometimes it doesn’t matter if it is not a controversial topic. Some people just like to comment on anything they don’t agree with. This doesn’t always make a lot of sense. Focus on writing for your true fans.

4. Blogging friends are the best

Meeting other bloggers is one of the best things about being a blogger. They have so much to teach us. Whether you only meet them online in a Facebook group or on Twitter or you meet them in person in your local community or blogging conference. Be friendly, offer to help, and connect.

5. Don’t be afraid to try something new

Don’t be afraid to get out there and try something new. Play around with different ideas and be creative. You never know when that thing you tried will take you to the next level.

6. Not all blogging advice is worth following

Not all blogging advice is worth following. Take everything you read, even on this blog, and make sure the advice will work for you. Part of the reason there are so many different types of advice out there is that there are different ways to do things. You have to figure out what works for you.

7. Taxes are important

Taxes are a big deal for bloggers. Yes, you do have to pay them. Yes, you do have to claim all of the freebies you get from brands. Yes, you do have to figure out what you owe. Don’t ignore taxes.

8. Always write down your ideas

When you get a new idea for your blog, write it down. You might forget the idea later. Trust me. Sometimes you will feel more inspired than others so your list of ideas will come in handy for those days when nothing is flowing.

9. Don’t be afraid of a challenge

Sometimes you will be offered an opportunity that seems out of your comfort zone. Say yes anyway and then work to figure it out. You will add a new skill and learn a lot about yourself in the process.

10. You don’t have to spend a lot to get started

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get started. Try to stick to a small budget until you are making enough money to increase it. Don’t overspend and be careful about where your money is going.

What have you learned since becoming a blogger?

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