BlatherWatch

Ask Billy Bob: asinine absurdities, audio train-wrecks, astute retorts

michael hood — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:29:42 -0800

Billy Bob (whose name is neither Billy nor Bob) worked long in the Seattle radio market wearing a suit. He says the experience heightened his sense of irony, augmented his influences, and diminished his circle of friends.

By Billy Bob

More questions from the populace, along with my astute retorts:

Dear Billy: There are three all-sports stations in town. KRKO, KJR, and ESPN. So how come the biggest sports radio personality in all of the Northwest, New York Vinnie, is not working anywhere? What do you think about Vinnie riding the bench? Signed, Mrs. Riccicci. Dear Mrs. R: I hope it's a sturdy bench.

Dear Billy: A few years back the employees at KIRO radio voted to get rid of their union, AFTRA, The American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. It was controversial, contentious and a very close vote. Now, under new owner, Bonneville, many of those employees have been fired and those still working have had to take a pay cut. I bet they wish they had voted to keep their union badges. Signed, J. Sandifer

Dear J: Badges? Yeah, but think of the money they saved on union dues!

Dear Billy: I never see or hear anyone complain about how one company, Metro News, is providing not just traffic reports, but lots of the news that you hear on Seattle radio. It seems like almost all of the stations, even the big ones, now get all or some of their news from Metro Traffic. Plus the stations never tell us if the news is coming from their own staff, or from Metro. Don't you think everybody outsourcing their news coverage to one company is deceptive and bad for the industry? Signed, Mr. Traditional

Dear Mr. T: I heard they're moving their news operations to South Carolina after ICE raided their newsroom and shipped all their reporters back to Nogales.

Dear Billy: One of the things I really miss on KIRO is the "Stick a Fork In It" feature that Dan Restione used to do with a sexy sounding female reporter. It was a very cute restaurant review. But when Bonneville took over, the feature seems to have ended. Can you tell me what happened? Signed, Bonnie Petite

Dear Bonnie: Maybe the Bonneville brass were concerned that Dan wanted to stick something other than a fork in it.

Dear Billy: I work in digital audio/video programming and I love KPTK. But I'm absolutely dumbfounded by their ongoing audio train-wrecks. I frequently hear their traffic reports, news updates and commercials being cut off before they end. And I'm talking about problems that have been going on not just for a few days or weeks or months. But for years! Why don't their people fix it? Signed, Exasperated

Dear Ex: What people?

Dear Billy: Here's my prediction on KVI's future. Kirby is kicked to the Kirb when his contract ends. The Laura Ingraham Show (m-f, 3-5p) gets moved to it's real "live" time in mornings. (6 to 9a in Seattle.) Weissbach does a 3 hour show in afternoons on the cheap. Suddenly mornings sound a lot better. Suddenly mornings sound a lot better. And Fisher saves a flour-sack full of money. What do you think? Signed, Ingraham Insider

Dear Insider: Laura does her show that early in the morning? No wonder she always sounds bitchy!

Dear Billy: I have two "Double-A's", Asinine Absurdities. First, KIRO says they want the afternoon guys to do more local stuff, so, instead of changing the guys who do the show, they change the producer? Then, to make it a double, they hire a guy from out of town. You telling me that with all the out-of-work newspaper and radio people they have to go out of town? Next, all the local right-wing hosts are ragging on state government for losing Boeing to South Carolina. They claim it's because of our state's high taxes. But because South Carolina has low taxes, their unemployment fund is broke and they need a federal bailout. Double absurdity: those right-wing hosts, along with you and me, will have to pay federal taxes to support out of work South-Carolinians so that Boeing can take away local jobs. Signed, Ticked Off

Dear Ticked: Actually... (note to my lazy editor, just delete this one, this a-hole is making too much sense.) EDITOR'S NOTE: We appreciate some common sense once in a while in this column).

Dear Billy: I'm in the radio business and I can tell you things are so tough I can barely sleep. I keep having this nightmare that my company's CEO is in town and I accidentally run over him with my car in the parking lot leaving him seriously injured. Any suggestions on what I can do? Signed, Board Op

Dear B-O: Back up and try harder.

‘Virtual radio row’ no help in killing health care

michael hood — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 00:10:00 -0800

The House passed the health care bill with a public option Saturday night with a comfy two-vote margin. This, after everything plus money was thrown at it from insurance lobbyists and Republicans.

It’s a huge victory for Speaker Nancy Pelosi who wrangled the votes like a pro in the face of opponents who had everything except enough votes.

Talk radio was little help in the effort.

Wednesday, House Republicans held a “virtual radio row” to bring their message of “die quickly” to the folks at home by availing more than 40 Republican members of Congress to speak with 20 right-wing radio hosts, and 25 bloggers.

According to Talkers magazine, "This is the third such 'virtual' radio row (so-called because the radio hosts aren't physically gathered in one location) the House Republican Conference has organized this year."

The effort was not fruitful, because the power of the right-wing media is exaggerated by their own reporting, and the GOP failed to get anyone but 2nd-tier talkers. (OK, they got Bill Bennett...)

Where was the touted clout of the tea-baggers, and the talk radio right? Those "gums of August" that scared hell out of timid Congessmen last summer? They may be getting a potent (single digit) audience share, but in real politics, as Michael Medved wrote last week: “… that segment of the electorate remains an irrelevant and non-viable fringe factor.”

Old Seattle Radio Saturday: art simpson at KOL, 1960

michael hood — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 10:44:31 -0800

Art Simpson was a mainstay at KOL for several years in the late 50s and early 60s. A Top 40 from that period that shows the lineup of talent on the station.

Lan Roberts 5-9a
Art Simpson 9a-12p
Ron Bailie 12-3p
John Stone 3-6p
Gary Todd 6-9p
Les Williams 9-12mid
Tom Phelan 12mid- 5a

Note that Lan Roberts – a KJR legend in later years – was doing mornings at KOL in 1961. He returned to KOL in 1968. (thanks Bill Taylor).

OPEN THREAD: jon stewart IS glenn beck

michael hood — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:05:54 -0800

www.thedailyshow.com

Green shoots for fisher radio?

michael hood — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:15:47 -0800

Fisher radio (KOMO, KVI, KPLZ) is looking better despite a 3rd quarter report that contains this dreary bullet point:

Radio revenue decreased 49% in the third quarter compared to the third quarter of 2008. Excluding the financial impact of the Seattle Mariners broadcast contract in 2008, radio revenue declined 21% over the same period.

But, that’s bad news/good news: those Mariners had cost them an inflated $10 million a season. Now that they're gone, (to KIRO who paid paid just $5.5 million) cash flow on the radio side is in the black to the tune of $1.2 million- last year it was negative $237,000.

The PPMs have been good to mostly news KOMO1000, and hot AC KPLZ. (

So things are looking up in thie 3rd quarter even though teevee revenues are down 8%, the fire in their parking garage last summer cost them a lot of out of pocket, and they’re stuck with five losing stations in Great Falls, Montana.

They’ve got great "new media" plans:

The Company began aggressively implementing its "broadcast to broadband initiative." Fisher launched a network of 44 hyperlocal neighborhood Web sites in the Seattle market, increasing local content offerings, including KOMO-TV's valuable content, and expanding advertising opportunities for local businesses.

They better get on with their aggressive implementation: that new media is going to be old hat- other groups (seattlepi.com, king5.com) are already well on their way with the so-called “hyperlocal.”

Dori monson charges mayor nickels with murder

michael hood — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:09:00 -0800

Dori Monson (KIROFM m-f 12-3p) blames Mayor Greg Nickels and politically-correct Seattleites for the cold blooded, assassination-style Halloween murder of Seattle policeman, Timothy Brenton.

This is the kind of tone deaf opinionifying that's always defined this radio host, but he's dialed it up to 11 since KIRO's ratings went to hell last Spring.

At best, Dori might have seen this disturbing tragedy simply as show-prep, a chance to say something crazy and politically incorrect to stir up listeners, and get them to call in. At worst, maybe he entertained a warped fantasy of inspiring some vengeful vigilantics in the Central District, the diverse neighborhood where the shooting took place.

The idea is bouncing around in Seattle’s little right-wing radio echo chamber. It's a familiar meat-wagon the dittohead dogs of Seattle talk radio eagerly set upon, providing them the opportunity to utter the words they’re trained to utter whenever the topics of “libruls” and “crime’ are brought up. (We believe “ACLU” was also mentioned).

Conservative talkers have long made anti-Seattle-ism part of the aural fabric. Few of them (including Dori) actually live in the city, and it's a plump target for the pea-shooters of the radio .

(Monson’s relationship with the City of Seattle is like BlatherWatch’s to him: he never lets an opportunity to shit on its hat).

Dori and some of his cranky listeneers claim that Seattle Police hands are tied under the “Seattle Nice Policy,” community policing, and “Gun-free Zones.” Mayors, starting with Norm Rice, they say, have been more interested in banning plastic grocery bags than keeping us safe. That prevents cops from defending themselves as they sit in their cars.

Dori pawned off the assumption that the murder was gang-related, (read Negro) which connected it with other high profile crimes, and of course, with affirmative action, and BBQ.

Actually, crime - rarely a major problem in Seattle’s history- has declined in recent years, but being outraged about criminals is an oral tradition on Seattle talk radio used for demagoguery against the “progressive liberals.”

(Dave Boze, Dori’s “colleague” on sister station KTTH, resisted the cheap shot and told a listener he couldn’t see a connection between the cop killing and Nickels’politics. The listener claimed the PC police permissiveness began during the infamous World Trade Organization’s demonstrations in 1999, and has been”out of control” ever since).

Dori had these charges up on his blog the day after the crime- with all his 'support the cops' posturing you'd he'd let them at least bury the guy before he starts trying to make ratings hay from this tragic death.

Election night, 2009: liberals- 3; talk radio- 0

michael hood — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:46:09 -0800

Liberals had a good night in Washington.

(photo: Dow Constantine)

Once again, it’s plain that despite the bluster, the blather, and hours of blatant advocacy, conservative talk radio KIROFM, KTTH, and KVI are origami tigers when it comes to delivering votes for conservative candidates, and conservative candidates.

Even though the votes aren’t all counted, we're comfortable saying that former teevee anchor, Susan Hutchison, a right-winger posing as a non-partisan has been trounced by avowed Democrat Dow Constantine for County Executive.

Hutchison was judged by the voters as just another pretty face.

For months, Hutchison was licked to death by Dori Monson, (KIROFM m-f,12-3p)- pleasured orally by Dave Boze, (KTTH m-f, 3-6p) and tea-bagged by Kirby Wilbur (KVI m-f, 5-6p).

(Hutchison: just a pretty face)

The execrable Tim Eyman’s I-1033, which would have crippled state and local governments for years to come, went down like a one-legged streetwalker, despite those same local right-wing talk hosts, and Frank Shiers (KIROFM m-f, 7-11p) gave Eyman face-time succor and congenial air-time.

Tonight, it’s unclear about the evangelical-generated Referendum 71 that would undo gay civil rights granted by the last legislature- it’s ahead at present, but nobody’s calling it.

Talk radio was a little mixed on R-71, Dori Monson and Shiers didn’t pay much attention to it, but Boze and Wilbur, while only speaking only vaguely homophobically, broadcast with tacit assumption their listeners agreed with their “special rights” arguments. Boze’s brother-in-law, Steve O’Ban, an attorney and spokesman for R-71 sponsor Protect Marriage Washington appeared on his show multiple times to plug the ‘no’ side.

If this has been approved as it appears, it’s another political strikeout in a long, long slump for conservative talk radio in Seattle.

With the dismal scoring with voters, and the horrible ratings these stations are getting these days, we gotta ask, what is it about right-wing talk that’s so attractive to programmers?

UPDATED: Seattle radio election coverage: the good, the bad, and the insufficient ...

michael hood — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:05:00 -0800

KOMOAM/FM will provide the most extensive radio coverage locally with anchors Lisa Brooks and Brian Calvert; analysis with The Commentators, John Carlson & Ken Schram and local field reports from KOMO 4’s Bryan Johnson, and updates from ABC News on significant national races.

KING 5.com will have election night webcast streaming starting at 8p. Anchor Carolyn Douglas will be joined by Publicola's Josh Feit to survey the unfolding landscape with other political analysts, video reports and live shots from candidate headquarters. KING 5’s 10 & 11PM newscasts will also be live on the web.

KUOW will run live NPR feed from 6p with Marcie Sillman coming in from 8 to 9p and for local election coverage and commentary. (photo: Marci Sillman)

KVI will lead from 8 to 10p with Kirby Wilbur pontificating Republicanly, and Peter Weissbach dusting off insightful remarks he made in 2001. Carleen Johnson hosts top and bottom of the hour local news content, with national help from the Fox News feed.

KIROFM was once a big player on election night but now in its somewhat diminished state will run election coverage if the Whiffle Soccer Battle of the Talk Show Hosts doesn’t go into overtime. Northwest Nights with Frank Shiers Show will start when the game is over and will have Ron & Don doing election analysis, celebrity dish, and Frank reading newspapers and fresh live reads of car dealership spots. (Photo right: Ron brings a lot to any discussion)

KTTH, "The Truth," will leave all stones unturned, and run the usual syndicated tape-delayed Dr. Laura (who's expected to pick a favorite in NY-23).