me and my fibro

My Rock Bottom With Fibromyalgia by Kelly Slevin, Guest Post

2012-03-20T14:33:00.000-04:00

Today I am scared.

I want you to know this because all of these things have culminated over the last ten years into what I deal with today and who I have become. It’s always been a goal to write my life story. If I don’t figure out how to deal with all of this, I may not have that chance. I know everyone has a story. I feel like mine is

important to share. For many reasons, but mainly to help myself.

When I turned 16, like every normal teenager, I got my driver’s license, eager to have the freedom and independence to begin to head out into the adult world and lead a life of my own. A life of my own choices filled with responsibilities and independence and fun and adventure and love and purpose... A life leaving behind the anguish I went through growing up, the one where I caught my mother naked in bed with another man in my parent’s bed when I was 5, the one where she eventually chose that man over my father and sister and I and left the three of us for good when I was 7. I would always wonder why my mom didn’t want to be with us, why we were so unimportant as to promise to come and visit and then never show up- leaving our noses pressed to the window in disappointment as every passing car proved not to be hers. Given she isn’t the best mother, she brought me into this world and for that, I love her.

My new life was also leaving behind the eventual step-mother whose absurd rules left me resentful toward both she and my father- I was 10 when they married and she was only 11 years older than me. Just some of those rules included things such as kitchen closing at 8pm, bedtime at 9pm, eating everything on the dinner plate whether we liked what she cooked or not and sitting there at the table for hours until everything had been eaten, washing our own dishes, packing our own lunches, being locked in our rooms when we were a bother and when we broke the rules, the punishments over the years ranged from slaps across the face, hairbrushes and wooden spoons whacked across our behinds, sometimes so hard the object would snap, to even being dragged up the stairs by my hair one time to be locked in my room. Although she may not have been my mother, and nasty at times, she was more of a mom to me than the one who gave birth to me, and I do love her.

At 13 I moved in with my grandparents because I couldn’t take it anymore, my sister came with me. My grandmother (my Mams) had always taken care of me. On top of all of the above, I had been a sickly child. I had major surgery when I was 4 where they reconstructed the left side of my kidney to correct the defected tubes (I had an extra) connecting to the bladder. Mams had always taken good care of me when I was sick. I remember how sad I was one year when I was lying on her couch feverish and ill, watching Trick-or-Treaters coming to the door for candy. I miss her.

My little sister has always been my “rock.” Being 4 years behind me, she didn’t always necessarily know what was going on, but in my moments of sadness and tears, she would always give me a hug and tell me everything would be ok. She always made me feel better. I can’t imagine being here today without having had her in my life. I love her.

At 15 I moved back home. My sister came with me. The fights continued with my stepmother; even driving me to go so far as to lie myself across the railroad tracks behind my house one night. I’m not so sure I would have stayed there anyway, but the neighbor came over and made me get up. The fact that I even went that far should define the anguish I was feeling.

Between all of the negative, I tried to live as normal a life as possible. I read a lot of books, they have always been my escape from reality. I babysat to get out of the house and the money was nice. We came from nothing and were taught to work hard for anything we wanted. We certainly weren’t handed money. Ever. There wasn’t any to give us. My dad was strict so we never got into trouble. When I left home at age 20, my curfew was still midnight during the week and 1am on weekends- if I was even allowed to go anywhere. My dad did a good job with us girls. And although I resented him for allowing my step-mother to treat us the way that she did, I know he always did what was best for us. I love him.

So yes, at 16, when I got that driver’s license, I thought I had so much to look forward to! A month to the day from the day I got that license, I was driving the new (old) used car my mom had bought for me (probably out of guilt for leaving) to babysit when I was struck in the driver-side door by some older lady who claimed she hadn’t even seen me. All I had wanted to do was stop buy a birthday card for my uncle (whom I was babysitting for that night so he and my aunt could go celebrate) instead of driving straight

to their house like my dad had advised. My car was totaled, I was in shock and devastated. That was the first of the 9 total car accidents I have been in. None were my fault and for the longest time I felt like a moving bullseye. To this day, I prefer to drive at night (less people on the road) and I try to use the roads less traveled (decreasing my chance of being around the number of people who may hit me- or so I’ve rationalized) and I really try not to drive somewhere unless I absolutely have to or want to. I especially

do not drive out of my office for lunch because of the chaos on the roads during peak hours. I calculate and prepare my drive carefully before each time I walk out of the house.

And so we come to the reason I was diagnosed with my Fibromyalgia. Between age 16 and 24, those 9 accidents occurred. I have been lucky, I tell myself, the accidents could have been much worse. Most were rear-enders, some causing thousands in damage to my cars, often resulting in severe whiplash, stiffness, pain and once even ramming my knee into the dash, causing it to swell with fluid, needing it injected with steroids and the fluid removed from behind the knee-cap. I have had my share of physical therapy. I have a slight curvature in my spine so the injuries were more affective to me than someone with

a normal spine.

At 24, the injuries on top of the existing injuries had piled up and my muscles weren’t working the way they normally should. The pain became so frustrating I finally had a doctor who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia onset from the numerous car accidents. I went to nursing school, I knew the medical repercussions. I was angry, sad, depressed, scared, frustrated that at such a young age, I should feel healthy and energetic and not have to be dealing with this. I became determined to strive with every ounce of strength I could muster- to live as normal a life as possible. I chose to keep my disease and illnesses

to myself because I just wanted to be normal. I would only disclose all of this to anyone I let get remotely close to me. I mean, who wants to hang out with a girl who is sick all of the time?

With Fibromyalgia, my already existing headaches grew into chronic migraines, and the added diagnoses of insomnia and generalized anxiety disorder. I have noticed over the past few years that my symptoms have progressively worsened. I’ve reached a breaking point and this is why I write this today. I need for you to know how I feel and why I am who I am and why I behave in the ways that I do. I need for you to acknowledge and accept that this is me and this is what I deal with.

My body aches all over, muscles aching as if I have the flu. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to brush up against something, as if my whole body is bruised. I’m so fatigued and lethargic, it hurts to wake up in the morning- after a restless night of uncomfortable tossing and turning. My body is stiff and in pain and it hurts to exist. It takes all of the strength I can muster just to get out of the bed each morning. All of these things do not make me a morning person. I move very slowly, it takes me longer to get ready. Sometimes I don’t even feel the energy to talk. I often shake. It hurts to exert the energy to hold my head up. I have bouts of hot and cold spells throughout each day. I have poor circulation. In the last few weeks I have noticed these electrical-like impulses in two places in the muscles of my lower left leg. It’s hard to focus and concentrate and sometimes my memory isn’t up to speed. Some days the headaches become full-blown migraines as the day progresses. Sometimes I wake up with a migraine. Like I said, it hurts for me to exist.

These physical issues have always been mentally trying on me. But lately, with the severity of the condition worsening, I’m completely emotionally drained and distraught. I’m extremely frustrated, sad, depressed, angry, scared, discouraged, feel hopeless and helpless. I’m scared of how I’m feeling both physically and mentally. Let me also tell you that I haven’t just sat around waiting to see where my diagnosis would lead over these last ten years. I feel that I have truly tried everything. I have tried to exercise, eat better, diet changes, medications, take vitamins, take supplements, herbs, yoga, acupuncture and I see my chiropractor for adjustments and massage therapy every other week. It isn’t cheap being sick either- but we’ll leave that for the “medical field” blog I still intend to get to one of these days.

Simply put, when you feel like shit, it is very difficult to be consistent in a lot of these areas. Living with this disease consists of expending all of my energy working hard to retain the job that I am very lucky to have. I left the medical field for many reasons but one major reason was the stress levels on my body and well-being. I am so happy to have a job (while it is still stressful in different ways) that at this point in my life I am able to get there on time, do the work and perform better than some of my peers, am still able to

support myself financially and have good health insurance. I have seriously pondered the inability to work and the result of disability. But the true person I am deep inside is not a quitter. I’m a fighter and I know I have a deep inner strength that I am lucky to possess. But I will tell you it is damn hard to exist each day when you feel like you are going to die. That is how bad this is for me.

I recognize that this will be a struggle for the rest of my life. Recognizing that is also frustrating, especially when you know there isn’t really a cure or at least I haven’t found anything that makes me feel better or improve the quality of my life. I am continuing to seek out those things and will keep doing so. It’s a process of trial and error. Some things work for some people and some things do not.

I wanted you all to know these things for many reasons. Not because I want you to feel bad for me or for pity. I want you to know because it is a part of who I am. It always will be. I recognize that part of dealing with the pain is acknowledging and letting you know how I feel is having your acknowledgement and understanding. As my friend, co-worker, acquaintance, peer, classmate, whatever or whoever you are to me, I need you to know. I do need your help in getting through this. I need you to know why it might be that I don’t have the energy to pick up the phone and converse, or respond to an email, or meet up for

coffee or lunch, or to go out to dinner, or to go out dancing. It saddens me that I can’t do all of these things. But please don’t stop inviting me or encouraging me. And although I have isolated myself for many reasons, I do need your love and support right now, more than ever.

When you do see me out and catch a glimpse of sadness or admiration in my eyes, please remember what I am dealing with. It is very hard to be around people who don’t feel how I feel. I’m doing the best that I can with what I’ve got and that’s all I can do. Right now a physician has prescribed Lyrica for me. I took one pill and it made me feel really weird. I’m hypersensitive to everything. I’m not so sure that medications are the right treatment for me but you get to the point where you will try anything to make the

pain go away.

Sometimes I feel like this is driving me crazy. I would never kill myself- I would never want to hurt those who love me or hurt myself. I have a very strong fear of death and dying. But let me assure you that a human being cannot feel constant long-term pain and not have this thought cross their mind- that you just wish the pain would stop. You all know of my firm belief in that everything happens for a reason. I continue to hold onto that ever-so-slowly-dwindling amount of faith that I will figure this out (with help of

all of those around me) and that I will beat this shit. And I will use every experience in my life to somehow benefit others and provide the positive support that I get from you all. That is why I am here. And I am grateful to be here- no matter how much it hurts.

Much love!

Kelly Slevin

~pay it forward.

kellyslevin.com

SunflowerInstitute.org on Facebook

It only takes moments to comment but makes a world of difference to an author to know they are not alone. Thank you. ~ Britta

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To!

2012-02-22T17:56:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged for a long time and it wasn't my intention to start blogging on this particular subject today. As a matter of fact, I actually started a different entry a few weeks ago, but had to set it aside because I hit a mental snag in my train of thought.

Earlier this morning, someone posted a wonderful, uplifting blog entry on my “Life with Fibromyalgia” Facebook page regarding what it feels like to have Fibromyalgia. Another person commented, “Great descriptions and details about how it feels but yet it didn't sound like a pity party...although there's nothing wrong with a pity party once in a while!” While I completely agree with this person's comment regarding the blog entry, I have to say I'm deeply entrenched in my very own private pity party. So much so that I'm singing, “It's my party and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to!” through my tears. And, that's exactly how I feel damn it!

Since being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, scratch that, preceding the diagnosis, I could feel my pain and fatigue levels progressively getting worse. Sure, I get moments of relief from the pain where I think, “Could this be the break I've been praying for? The remission I've been promised?” only to find out not long after, it's not. I felt that way this morning. For about an hour, I felt human. Imagine, feeling human for an hour – no pain, no fatigue! And, to have it suddenly taken away from you AGAIN.

I've lost friends who no longer take the time to call me, text me, or ask me how I'm doing because (I assume) they honestly do not want to hear the answer. Rarely if someone does ask, I quite frankly flat out lie and say, “I'm fine.” It's easier and spares us both of the long, uncomfortable silence. If I'm honest about how I'm really feeling, they find an excuse to break off the conversation or out of kindness to them, I break it off myself. Why bother when it's easier to lie? Sometimes I tell them the truth in an email. A lot of times I never get a response, not even from my “dearest” of friends. I need to stop doing that for clearly I'm setting myself up for disappointment. I find it tiring telling people how much pain I'm in or how fatigued I am and I assume they find it just as tiring hearing about it. Understandably, friends get tired of asking if I can or want to do something with them because more often than not, I can't. In their defense, I rarely answer my phone anymore because I find listening hurts. Whatever it is – the frequency over the telephone lines – I don't know, talking on the phone is painful (to me).

Today, I planned to clean my house. Typically, on high pain days (most days) I can't clean my house and rely on my family to do a lot of the household chores for me. However, they don't tackle the jobs and deep clean the way I do or did when I was able too. I asked my husband if we could get help. He said, “No, we couldn't afford it without making sacrifices. Your medications cost too much. We could cancel TV.” Sacrifices, eh? What more should I sacrifice, I ask myself? My health has been sacrificed already and I didn't ask for this. No one does. Granted the sacrifices are different – apples to oranges – if you will. I shouldn't compare my physical sacrifices to household budget sacrifices.

Fibromyalgia is commonly referred to as an invisible illness because those afflicted by it don't look sick. I ask you to compare these two pictures taken almost four years apart and tell me what you see.

July 2008

February 2012

A few months ago, I started reading Toni Bernard's book, How To Be Sick: A Buddhist Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and their Caregivers. Unfortunately, I put it down without finishing it. I saved a passage from her book or her Facebook page, I'm not sure, that resonated with me the last time I felt this way. She wrote:

"Self-pity can be so painful. The good thing is that, like all thoughts and emotions, it won't stay in your mind forever. It will arise and it will pass. When it's present, I recommend just being mindful of it and treating yourself kindly about it -- with self-compassion -- even speaking to yourself with phrases such as, "it's so hard to feel this way." Try not to feed it with stories about your life -- the list of injustices, etc. because that will just make it stronger. The idea is to hold it in your awareness without aversion until it passes. If speaking to yourself kindly makes you cry, that's okay because these are just tears of love for yourself. It's hard not to feel that sense of injustice, but life happens to everyone in a different way. We all have our joys and our sorrows, and the only possibility for peace is to be able to greet all of life's experiences with an open . I know there are joys to come for you. I just know. So, try to accept the sorrow you're feeling right now and know that it will pass."

So, yes, I'm throwing myself a pity party without guilt or worrying about having to justify my emotions to anyone; however, I do need to refocus my thoughts and try to let go of the injustices and limitations caused by this chronic pain illness and recognize my sadness for what it is ~ a human emotion. But, let me ask you this, my non-fibro family and friends, wouldn't you cry, too, if this happened to you?

Truly,

Britta

Take the Quiz: Test Your Knowledge of Fibromyalgia (Fibrositis) - on RxList.com

2011-05-27T11:08:00.000-04:00

Take the Quiz: Test Your Knowledge of Fibromyalgia (Fibrositis) - on RxList.com

This Is Just My Life

2011-05-23T18:08:00.002-04:00

Michael Corleone said, “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.” Boy, do I know how he feels. Of course, he was talking about the mob while I'm thinking of a different type of crime family – The Chronic Illness Mafia.

Last Thursday marked day three in bed. I had zero energy. I could barely keep my eyes open and any activity, be it getting a glass of water or letting the dogs out to do their business, zapped me of my reserves. I was exhausted beyond the point of exhaustion. My body felt heavy, especially my legs. So heavy, I checked the foot of my bed to make sure I wasn't sharing it with a horse's head.

Earlier in the week, I hardly felt fatigued at all. I ran errands in the morning, prepared dinner and even went for a nice walk in the evening along the waterfront. I felt good. I paced my activities. I didn't overdo it. I continue to faithfully take all my medications and supplements, exercise ~ I do everything I am told to do. So, why is it that every time I start to feel better, it just pulls me back in?

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not only fighting Fibromyalgia and Lyme Disease, but also Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Fibro and CFS are virtually identical in symptoms, the only difference being the absence of tender points throughout ones body. So, it remains a possibility. It's also been speculated that Lyme Disease could be the “catastrophic event” that causes Fibromyalgia or the infection that lingers causing CFS. Maybe I'm on the wrong track entirely. Maybe my problem is that I am spending too much energy “fighting” and not concentrating enough on healing? Or maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. I'm only on week three of a four week doxycycline protocol to treat Lyme Disease.

A friend of mine suggested I see a Naturopath because they can further investigate where the energy loss is coming from ~ essentially look at all things more closely that an MD doesn't look at and treat it homeopathically. For instance, is my body making enough cortisol? Is my thyroid low? Do I have a hormonal imbalance? They even look at neurotransmitter levels and vitamins in the body. I'm hoping to find a really good Naturopath, one who works under the umbrella of a doctor's office so my insurance will cover the visits, once I'm finished with the antibiotics.

I'm also going to accept the fact this is just my life. I am chronically ill. I am tired of fighting. Its time to look inward and start healing. As Zen teacher, Joko Beck, said: “Our life is always all right. There's nothing wrong with it. Even if we have horrendous problems, it's just our life.” I may not be able to work outside of the home again or socialize a lot, but I have my family and close friends. I have this life ~ this one life ~ so try as you might, I will make the best of it and you will not pull me back in …

Repost: Why Bother Spreading Fibromyalgia Awareness?

2011-05-13T13:42:00.001-04:00

During the maintenance process yesterday, Blogger ate my post! Regrettably, I couldn't retrieve it nor upload the repost until today.

Hello Friends.

Today is Fibromyalgia Awareness Day and I wanted to write something meaningful and encouraging for all those who suffer from this debilitating illness as well as informative and educational for those who have family members or friends affected by it. I have all these ideas about spreading awareness from sharing articles to personal experiences but it all seems futile. I mean, why bother? How do I spread awareness effectively when so many in the medical community continue to treat us like second class citizens or worse criminals on trial. Any progress we make as individuals suffering from fibromyalgia will be negated so long as physicians do not recognize the severity of this illness.

My primary care physician referred me to a neurologist for myoclonic jerks. The consultation took place last Tuesday afternoon. Had I known what I was going to encounter during the appointment, I would have cancelled it rather than endure the abuse I was subjected to. I left feeling unworthy and devalued and was at the point where I NEVER wanted to receive treatment by a physician again. I also wanted to quit taking all of my medications. All of them. Of course, now that the dust has settled, I realize how unrealistic my emotional reaction was. Eventually I will have to see another doctor and obviously discontinuing medications to manage my symptoms is not an option I can afford.

Between my fits of anger, disappointment and resentment towards certain members of the medical community yesterday, I stumbled upon the following presentation by Dr. Sean Mackey, assistant professor of anesthesia at the Standford University Medical Center. In his presentation, he discusses the current understanding of fibromyalgia, its pathology, diagnosis and treatment. After watching it, my hope and belief in the medical community was renewed. I ask you to please take the time to watch it as well and to pass it along in support of Fibromyalgia Awareness.

An Update on Fibromyalgia by AllThingsScience

I also came across some eye-opening statistics. Do you know that between 3-6 million Americans suffer from fibromyalgia, yet the NIH only funds $9 million in research compared to 3,630 Americans suffering from West Nile Virus with $46 million in allocated research funds? Research Funding Comparison

To answer my own question, why bother spreading awareness when it seems futile? I think the answer is clear. We need to advocate for our own health to ensure - scratch that, demand proper treatment by the medical community. I cannot emphasize the importance of finding a doctor who listens and respects you and hasn't forgotten the Hippocratic Oath of DO NO HARM. We also need to demand more research money is spent towards finding a cure for fibromyalgia. Last, we need to educate the masses. Please watch Dr. Mackey's presentation. Fibromyalgia is more than just aches, pains and ongoing fatigue!

Thanks for letting me share Fibromyalgia Awareness Day with you!

Truly, Britta

Encountering Cement

2011-05-07T13:37:00.001-04:00

Hello friends.  

It’s been close to two weeks since my last blog entry and although soon after publishing it, I had a draft of my next topic composed in my mind and ready to tap out on the keyboard, I couldn’t do it. Weeks of unending sleep deprivation from insomnia finally caught up with me. I could barely string an entire sentence together in written form let alone a blog entry. Fibro fog, short term memory loss, all of the problems associated with sleep deprivation were getting the best of me. Finally I had enough and I rescheduled my doctor’s appointment. As far as the topic is concerned, which I wanted to write about next, it will have to wait another week. It seems I’m going to have to do devote more time to it than I’m willing to today. For now, I thought I’d update you on how I’m doing.

My appointment this week went really well. However, I think I overwhelmed my doc with all of my notes and everything we covered. I mentioned I was bombarding her with information and she kind of let out a nervous laugh and said, “Yeah.” As usual, she took her time with me, really listened, took notes of her own and set in motion a new plan of action.

In case you’re curious, a part of the new plan includes a recommendation from a book my best friend suggested called Figuring out Fibromyalgia by Ginevra Liptan, MD. If you have Fibromyalgia, I encourage you read this book. In fact, I highly recommend it. If you want to know more about Fibromyalgia, I recommend you read this book as well. Anyway, I gave a copy of the book to my doctor. She’s going to help me get the Elisa/Act blood allergy testing recommended by Dr. Liptan. She also ordered another round of blood tests – 6 vials total. She tested everything again! As it turns out, I tested negative for Lyme Disease, but positive for a strain of Lyme. I’m starting a four week round of antibiotics today. Unfortunately, I don’t know what this means yet in relation to Fibromyalgia. I did read online that Lyme Disease can be a trigger for Fibromyalgia, but before I jump to any conclusions I need to consult her. She also sent my blood work in for further testing – Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. It’s not prevalent in this area, so I’m not concerned.

On Wednesday, I had a brain MRI with and without contrast because of the myoclonic jerks. I think they may be from sleep deprivation, but she wanted to be thorough and rule out other things. It came back normal. Now, I’m waiting for my consultation with a neurologist next week. Fortunately, it’s not with the old guy I saw late Fall ’09. You know, the non-believer type.

Unfortunately, I left the Diagnostic Center with a huge headache after getting the MRI. I slept for a couple of hours when I got home, though, and that made me feel a little better. When I awoke, I went to check the mail, sat in the garage & smoked a cigarette (I know). I then went back into the house and realized I left the mail on the table. I turned around and walked down the stairs, stepped over the baby gate onto the step stool and in the process somehow caught my right foot on the gate and fell a couple of feet onto the hard concrete floor. I took everything down with me – the brooms hanging on the wall, the baby gate, the step stool and the bookshelf with shoes. I laid on the floor, stunned, my face pressed against the cold cement (which oddly felt good on my cheek) and cried. I called out to Todd, who as luck would have it worked from home that day, and he helped me up. I didn’t break any bones, but my ego sure felt bruised. My left shoulder is banged up as is my arm, elbow, hips. And, I have a bruise that covers half of the backside of my leg. Surprisingly, the first couple of days I didn’t give a damn nor did I feel a lot of pain. Now the pain in my shoulder and arm feels rather bothersome and gnawing, especially in my arm. Always something.

Well, in light of all that cement encounter, you may be wondering if I’m sleeping yet. The answer is wow, am I ever! Up until today all I did this week was sleep. From the time I got up in the morning to the time I went to bed at night, I slept. Sounds odd, I know. However, it’s true. My doc prescribed a new sleep aid and a different medication for pain. I’m starting to feel less fatigued today and no longer sleeping all day long, although, I am ready for another nap. I can say the glimmer of hope is getting brighter and brighter and I can’t tell you how good that feels.

Thanks for sharing my experiences, however clumsy.

Truly, Britta

Old Silver Fillings, Mercury Poisoning & Fibromyalgia

2011-04-25T07:11:00.001-04:00

I'm currently experiencing an unpleasant (as if it could be pleasant) metallic taste in my mouth and have been for quite some time actually. At the end of a teleconference I recently participated in with others interested in learning more about Fibromyalgia treatments, we were given the opportunity to ask questions. Naturally, I asked about the possible causes of metallic taste in ones mouth. One of the doctor's hosting the teleconference said the three main causes of metallic taste or ringing of ones ears (which I have as well) are:

Nerves over-firing
Metal toxin exposure
Medication effects

Initially I was inclined to believe the horrible taste stemmed from my nerves over-firing because I experienced the same thing shortly before the onset of Bell's Palsy in 2006. I ruled out side effects from medications because my doctor hasn't changed them in a very long time or at least not coinciding with the onset of my new symptom. I highly doubted metal toxicity too.

A few days ago my friend, Kim, suggested old silver fillings. Apparently, she had the same experience and after her dentist removed her old silver fillings, the metallic taste went away. She also said, “I have seen the cons of silver fillings. At my office and many other dental practices, amalgam fillings aren't even offered to patients. 60 minutes did an episode on mercury fillings about 10 years ago. Scary stuff!!” Considering she's worked in the dental field for over 20 years, I took her suggestion seriously and began my research online.

The very first website I researched set off my alarms bells because it listed signs and symptoms of mercury poisoning (in relation to old silver fillings) that are all too familiar for so many of us with Fibromyalgia and not only that, it listed Fibromyalgia itself!

Symptoms and Signs of Mercury Poisoning

Fatigue

Depression

Anxiety

Memory loss

Difficulty Concentrating

Difficulty Making Decisions

Insomnia

Headache/Backache

Tremor

Burning hands or feet

Fibromyalgia

Muscular or arthritic aches

Yeast Syndrome

Loss of Sexual Interest

Food Sensitivities

Sensitivity to perfume or chemicals

Frequent Sore Throats

Problems with Vision

Gastrointestinal problems

According to Dr. Robert F. Kidd, “Amalgam dental fillings may be a health hazard to some people. Although a great deal of controversy still exists about this subject, even those who consider dental amalgam safe agree that the health of at least some people is affected by amalgam fillings.”

“There is no agreement that enough mercury vaporizes from fillings to cause problems. And to make matters more difficult, there is no laboratory or other test that can prove that there is a toxic level of mercury in the body.”

He goes on to say, “Toxicology, or the study of the effect of poisons, is a more complicated subject than one might first think. Poisons do not always affect people the same way. Some people are affected by very small doses, and the type of symptoms may vary from one person to another. Also if the poisoning takes place over a long time and affects many people, the symptoms may be accepted as a part of everyday life.”

“If mercury poisoning is from dental amalgam (the most common source), no simple lab test will help. The reason for this is that mercury from amalgam enters the body as a vapour. Mercury vapour can penetrate and bind to the body tissues and for the most part does not circulate in the blood. This is in contrast to mercury from other sources, which comes in the form of salts, circulates in the blood and does not penetrate the tissues as easily.”

Your doctor’s physical examination may pick up clues to help in the diagnosis. Patients with chronic mercury poisoning often are pale and have dark circles around their eyes. They may seem prematurely aged, may appear depressed or vague in their response to questions. Despite normal thyroid tests, their body temperatures are always low. “Tattoos” are sometimes visible where mercury has leaked from a filling into the surrounding gums. The gums adjacent to amalgam-filled teeth may appear irritated, pale or swollen. A fine tremor of the tongue, the mouth, or muscles anywhere else in the body may be present. The onset of high blood pressure, especially after dental work, should raise suspicion, as should irregular heart beat in a person without heart disease.”

Routine laboratory tests are usually normal, but if unexplained protein is found in the urine, mercury poisoning could be a cause. As mentioned above, blood, urine and hair analyses are of little help in chronic mercury poisoning from dental amalgam.There are only two everyday methods of “testing” for excessive levels of mercury in the body. One is called the “DMPS Provocation Test”; the other is “Autonomic Response Testing” or ART.”

I also came across Marie's story on the internet and I highly encourage you to read it from beginning to end. She says, “Don't rush out and have your mercury fillings removed before doing research and getting educated about the dangers involved. If you allow a regular dentist to remove the fillings, you could be worse off than leaving the fillings in your mouth. The dentist should believe mercury is dangerous and toxic. An alternative source of air must be provided for the patient to breathe while the old fillings are drilled. Large amounts of water should to be used to cut down on the vapors being released. A dental dam, a piece of latex, should be placed in your mouth to catch the mercury particles as he is drilling it out. This will keep the mercury from falling under your tongue, where you might swallow it. A large high powered vacuum hose is used near the head of the patient to remove vapors while the mercury is being drilled out.”

And encourages, “everyone to thoroughly research the links on this site before having an emergency situation. For example, a crown should not be placed on top of mercury. Dentists usually use crowns made from porcelain, but inferior quality porcelain crowns may also have metals like nickel in them. When the nickel is placed over a mercury filling, it may start a chemical reaction in your mouth. It causes mercury to start leaching out of your fillings faster. Some dentists use gold crowns over mercury. This also causes mercury to start leaking. You do not need different types of dental metals -such as gold, copper, nickel, and mercury, in your mouth. They interact with one another and cause much illness. When the metals are interacting is when you taste metal in your mouth. That is why you need a biological dentist to remove the mercury before you have crowns added. Many persons start becoming mercury poisoned when crowns are first introduced into the mouth.”

In her final paragraph, she states, “If you are seriously ill with fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, neurological diseases, or other chronic conditions or allergic reactions in your body, you will need to do dental biocompatibility testing to see what materials would be safe to put back in your mouth after the mercury is taken out. Do not take the mercury out and just put anything back in. Dr. Huggins calls this "jumping from the frying pan into the fire." If you are sick, you need to find an alternative doctor to help you build up your immune system BEFORE you start the dental revision. A good place to start getting educated about this dental issue is to read the book It's All in Your Head by Dr. Hal Huggins. And if you are fighting periodontal disease you need to know that mercury in your fillings is one reason people have periodontal disease and bad breath.”

Like my friend, Kim, said, “Scary stuff.”

New "Cutting Edge" Treatment in Fibromyalgia?

2011-04-19T23:03:00.014-04:00

I recently participated in a teleconference hosted by Dr.'s Katinka Van Der Merwe and Dave Pascal of the Neurologic Relief Center in Fayetteville, Arkansas. They devote their practice to providing “cutting edge” treatment techniques in relieving a variety of symptoms to include pain associated with illnesses such as Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis and other neurological conditions.

Dr. Van Der Merwe opened the conference addressing why their techniques aren't well known to a large number of patients struggling with chronic neurological illnesses. According to her, they have tried on numerous occasions to educate the public through media exposure with limited success. Although she has appeared on the local news and Dr. Pascal on the Discovery Channel, they rely on Facebook, for the most part, because it's difficult to get national exposure on mainstream news media channels. Since the inception of their Facebook page, they've attracted 2,160 fans and are growing.

Dr. Pascal, who commutes between his two offices in Cary, North Carolina and Los Angeles, California, focused on the challenges of treating Fibromyalgia symptoms and its root cause. He said one of the obstacles patients face is “they are not getting the entire picture from MD's.” Bladder issues, hair and eyelash loss, arthritis in the knee(s), fibro fog, migraines, tension in the arms, light and noise sensitivities etc are all related to Fibromyalgia. The fact that the medical community cannot agree on a root cause means there is no generally accepted treatment. He stated:

Prescribing medications is all a MD's can for Fibromyalgia
Alternative therapies cause flares with a low percentage of pain relief
Fibromyalgia is a progressive and neurologic disease

The doctors at the Neurologic Relief Center believe that Fibromyalgia is caused by an upper cervical abnormality, which is missed in the medical world. According to them, emotional, physical and/or chemical stress creates inflammation or scar tissue and tugs on the nerves (the meninges, a protective sleeve) on the spinal cord and compresses it. Dr. Pascal believes cervical abnormalities are often overlooked by medical practitioners because stress, even though it's the #1 cause of death (heart attacks and other serious life threatening conditions), is not being consistently seen as a valid health concern.

The center has put together an “amazing technique” called Meningeal Decompression. During the initial test procedure, patients experience 30-100% reduction in pain within the first 7-10 minutes. However, as this is just the initial test, any pain relief experienced is temporary.

The next phase involves Quantum Neurology; evaluating ones nervous system. Apparently, this is where medical neurologists aren't gathering enough information. As an example, a neurologist shouldn't test a person for merely their ability to smell during an evaluation, but also their ability to identify the smell. The following are the four import factors in Quantom Neurology:

Functional Neurological Evaluation
Rehabilitating Neurological Function
Removing Neurological Toxins
Evaluation of the Digestive Tract

Dr. Pascal specifically addressed the small intestine. The healthy, small intestine should produce, on average, 21 bowel movements a week, one meal in and one meal out. A single bowel movement a day is not healthy. He went on to say that the small intestine is made up of the same tissue as the brain and because they are of the same tissue, one impacts the other. In other words, the inflammation of one will cause the other to experience difficulties as well, thus accounting for fibro fog during an IBS flare.

You may be wondering if I plan on seeking treatment from the NRC. To be honest, I am undecided at this point. While I found the teleconference very informative, I am disappointed by both Dr. Van Der Merwe's and Dr. Pascal's presentations.

In my opinion, Dr. Van Der Merwe seemed very defensive about their “cutting edge” technique's failure to receive national acclaim. Perhaps her defensiveness is rooted in the fact that Fibromates are leery of any new kind of treatment, especially if it's not well known throughout our support groups. On the other hand, perhaps my criticism stems from the constant barrage of warnings we hear from physicians and support groups stating, “Beware of the scams!” If there was a cure or an effective treatment plan to achieve substantial relief from our chronic pain and fatigue, our groups would be a flutter with the news. Of course, NRC is not promising a cure. Maybe, just maybe (I'm going out on a limb here folks), they cannot get national media exposure to raise awareness because pharmaceutical companies are blocking their efforts in a ploy to keep us medicated with band-aide treatments and offering medical doctors kick backs while they continue to earn the big bucks? I don't know.

While Dr. Pascal seemed very genuine, I didn't appreciate his method of delivery. I don't think reprimanding the medical community (aside from the naysayers, of course) for doing what they can to help a vast population of patients suffering from this illness is advantageous to promoting the center's cause. I think he would better serve his listeners by presenting the technique as an alternative to medication or enhancement to treatment plans (medication protocols and alternative therapies) already established by medical doctors for their patients.

I do, however, agree with his discussion on the causes of meningeal compression and the importance of Quantum Neurology. From a personal standpoint, I have scoliosis and other issues involving my spinal cord. We know that Fibromyalgia involves the Central Nervous System so investigating it further and looking at the meninges seems logical. In regards to his first point in Quantum Neurology (the functional neurological evaluation), in 2009, I saw a medical neurologist who tested me for neuropathy. During the procedure they warmed up my feet with hot towels, which I didn't quite understand. My feet often become ice cold, turn white, go numb and tingle. How does warming them up prior to testing accurately evaluate my condition in a real life situation? I don't know.

What I found most shocking was when Dr. Pascal emphatically stated Fibromyalgia was a progressive disease. Progressive should not to be confused with degenerative by the way. Fibromyalgia is not a degenerative disease in that it does not cause damage to the bones, joints, tissues or organs. Now, most Fibromates will agree it is progressive and I have yet to meet or speak with one who will say otherwise. However, to hear a professional say those two words scares me more than you can ever imagine. Why? Because on my worst pain days, and quite frankly sometimes even on my not so bad pain days, I worry I will end up in a wheel chair in a few years. I already obtained handicap placard for my car, which in itself was a tough pill for me to swallow.

For now my action plan includes looking into cervical spine abnormalities, specifically the meninges. I planned on discussing spinal issues at my next doctors appointment anyway, so to cover meningeal compression and get my doctor's opinion makes sense. I don't live near the Neurologic Relief Center, however, I thank both doctors for their time and the valuable information they shared to help me manage my illness.

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day 2011

2011-04-16T09:19:00.002-04:00

Fibromyalgia Awareness Day is May 12. My balloon is on a journey to visit people and places all around the world and needs your help to pass it along!

Fibromyalgia Awareness|Tribute Balloon

From the National Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain Association:

“The observance of National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, officially May 12, can take many forms. The 2011 theme Walk to CURE FM (Campaign for Understanding, Research & Education of Fibromyalgia) is the rally cry for fibromyalgia patients and supporters to make their collective voice heard.”

For more information on how to spread awareness and observe this day, click on the following link NFMCPA

Pedal to the Metal

2011-04-15T18:35:00.003-04:00

Hey you, yeah you! Listen up, okay? I want you to turn down your TV, music, children or whatever you have going on in the background. I need to whisper something in your ear. Are you ready? Did you do as I asked? Great!

{whispers} I feel human today. Yes, it's true. I can hardly believe it myself. Gone is the fibro fog, mental exhaustion and physical fatigue. I'm not sure how long this is going to last, but I'm going to savor this day and take full advantage of it. Play out in the sunshine, hop, run, skip and jump! Perhaps even do some gardening. You know, do all the fun things I haven't been able to do in a while. Maybe we can end the evening with dinner out and a show like “normal” people do. Doesn't that sound grande? I have no idea what's playing at the local theatre; I'm sure we can find something to suit our taste.

Whoa, slow down there Nelly. Remember to pace yourself. Wait, did I just refer to myself a horse? *facepalm

On second thought, I'm not going overexert or do anything to cause a flare today, especially since last week I willingly participated in activities that exacerbated the beginnings of a flare. What? Yes, it's true. Last week, I pushed the envelope knowing I would hurt even more for it later.

We promised the children an evening out at Go-Kart Plus. I almost stayed home because I pushed myself a tad bit too hard at physical therapy. However, after a few hours of rest, I felt well enough to tag along and watch them race around the tracks.

Little did we know they wouldn't meet the driving height requirements for two of the funnest tracks at the park. They could, however, ride along as passengers. How could I refuse?

Have you ever driven a go-kart? Wow, super fun! The karts, however, might as well be decked out old lawnmowers from generations past ~ rickety, loud, body-jolting and bruising machines. Regardless, our adventure on the tracks and the pure joy on my children's faces made the jostling my body endured worth every minute of it.

Would I go go-karting again? Absolutely, just not anytime soon. I ended up, like I knew I would, deep in the throws of a flare. We planned on taking the children to Washington, DC to see the sites. Unfortunately, I missed out on this adventure and stayed home alone. As it turns out, though, it was the best thing for me. I rested without the guilt of not being able to take care of my family or anchoring them by my side. It also gave Todd and the children the opportunity to bond by themselves and play without having to stop midway because of me.

As I seal up last week's envelope and gently open up this week's, I am reminded of the great night out I shared with my family and how important it is to conserve energy. It also brings to mind two strategies for learning how to manage Fibromyalgia: pacing activities and setting limitations. If you practice these strategies, you can avoid winding up in a vicious push and crash cycle which involves overexertion, increased symptoms, rest, reduced symptoms, frustration and guilt. The guilt and frustration drives you to overexert yourself in an attempt to catch up with everything you weren't able to accomplish while you were experiencing increased symptoms and trying to rest. Hence, the vicious cycle.

A dear friend of mine shared the CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help website with me recently because it offers “practical tools for managing Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.” I highly encourage you to review Aids to Pacing, Part 1 and Aids to Pacing, Part 2 if you have CFIDS and/or Fibromyalgia or know somebody who does.

For someone with a chronic illness, learning how to pace and limiting their activities takes a lot of practice. It's undoubtably a trial and error process. However, as you've just read, there are times in your life where you may decide to push "the pedal to the metal" for just one night as I did. We know living with Fibromyalgia is life altering, but I refuse to let it be life ending. If you're reading my blog because you have it too, I hope you're finding some comfort and encouragement in my words.

Trauma and Unlocking Tissue Memory

2011-04-12T11:25:00.003-04:00

Last week, I mentioned the mind, body, spiritual and emotional connection and how trauma can be stored in the muscles and cells of a person's body. While I couldn't find the original article to reference in my post, I found this article which supports the belief memories of traumatic events can be stored in areas of the body other then the brain.

Learn How To Unlock Tissue Memory

by Nicole Cutler, L.Ac.

“Many scholars believe that pain and trauma are incidents prevented from being completed. These can be single damaging events such as a car accident, continuous bombardments requiring emotional defenses, or over-training of isolated muscles that lock the body into a recognized pattern. Traumas can be considered anything that keep us locked in a physical, emotional, behavioral or mental habit. Recovery from trauma is the process of the body finding balance and freeing itself from constraints. All too often, the recovery process is halted, preventing the traumatic occurrence from completing.

There are many reasons traumatic incidents cannot be completed, creating stagnation and causing a cascade of physiological protective mechanisms to separate the trauma from affecting everyday functioning. Because our bodies and emotions can only safely handle a limited amount of stress, trauma results whenever an experience exceeds our abilities to handle and cope with its consequences. The energy of the trauma is stored in our bodies’ tissues (primarily muscles and fascia) until it can be released. This stored trauma typically leads to pain and progressively erodes a body’s health.”

Continue reading this entire article

Rules Are Not Meant To Be Broken

2011-04-11T15:19:00.002-04:00

I can hardly believe how late I stayed up the other night. When I looked over at the clock and saw the time, I thought, “Wow, you are going to pay for this tomorrow.” The combination of a short nap and an afternoon cup of coffee turned what’s normally an early night to bed into a late night TV marathon with my husband, Todd. However, by 1:30am, I knew I had to call it a night.

Once I finally found a comfortable position in bed, I noticed parts of my body twitched a lot more than usual. On any given night, my legs and/or arms twitch, but that night my shoulder and neck twitched too. And, not to feel left out, my entire body twitched once right before I fell asleep. The body twitches don’t happen frequently and are a real treat. [insert sarcasm]

It didn’t take me long to fall asleep because I take enough medications at night to tranquilize a horse! Now, if only they kept me asleep. As far as paying for it, I woke up with my normal aches and pains, but slept until 7am. Yay! Happy me! My internal clock was kind enough to compensate for the hours I missed by allowing me sleep passed 4am.

Funny, okay maybe not so funny, how quickly I can go from feeling relatively okay to completely crappy. Its like going from 0 to 60 mph in under 4 seconds and, basically, that’s exactly what happened:

I left the house to go on a grocery run. A dreaded chore now; however, one I loved to do before I got sick. Yes, from scoping out the produce section for the freshest fruits and vegetables; trying to avoid the junk food section, only to return and grab that bag of salt and vinegar chips; to comparing prices of toilet paper and wondering which brand of paper towels truly was the quicker picker upper, I enjoyed all of those things. Okay, I’ll admit, I didn’t enjoy grocery shopping when my kids were younger and I had to drag them with me.

This shopping trip, however, was especially bad. I felt excruciating pain in my back simply from pushing the grocery cart down the aisles. And, each step I took seemed to cause every muscle in my body to spasm and my legs to weaken. My stride slowed considerably as my body stiffened from my ever-so-aching joints. Even the fluorescent lights and the noise from the other shoppers and store employees caused discomfort; random pain searing through my head. I could feel a migraine coming on.

Fortunately, Todd and the kids accompanied me. The kids helped out immensely by getting the dry goods from the list and Todd took over when I could no longer push the cart. He also loaded the groceries on the belt and into the van when we left the store. Without their help, I probably would have abandoned the groceries in the middle of the one of the aisles. Needless to say, my next few days were shot.

While recovering, I berated myself for breaking certain rules we, as fibromyalgia survivors, must follow. Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum, a board certified internist and Medical Director of Fibromyalgia and Fatigue Centers, defines these rules “as the five common no-no’s,” we commit when trying to manage our illness:

“Exercising too much or too little

Fibromyalgia reflects an energy crisis in your body, so you can only exercise to a certain point. Beyond that, you get what is called “post-exertional fatigue,” where you feel completely wiped out the next day. Be careful to avoid this as it can discourage you from the moderate exercise that is vital to healing fibromyalgia. On the other hand, insufficient exercise results in de-conditioning and clearly can worsen your ability to function.

Not Knowing When to Say “No”

Being too agreeable to things you don’t really want to do is a major stress that aggravates people with fibromyalgia. Try more often to allow yourself to say “no” when what is being asked of you doesn’t feel good.

Not Listening When Your Body Tells You it’s in Pain

Widespread muscle pain is one of the most dominant symptoms associated with fibromyalgia. When you feel pain, remember that that’s your body’s protective system signaling you that something needs attention. Don’t dismiss the pain or try to “play through it.” Instead learn how to manage fibromyalgia-related pain using a comprehensive approach.

Eating Excessive Sugar

Eating excessive sugar (especially in sodas or fruit juices) can severely flare fibromyalgia by worsening adrenal exhaustion and Candida/yeast overgrowth. Eat a high-protein diet and substitute Stevia or Saccharin for sugar. Sugar-free ice cream with Splenda and sugar-free chocolates with maltitol are also okay (in small amounts). Dark chocolate can actually improve fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome symptoms!

Not Getting Enough Sleep

It may seem counter-intuitive, but people with fatigue-related illnesses, such as fibromyalgia, often get too little sleep. Getting eight to nine hours of good quality deep sleep each night is critical to eliminating fatigue and pain.”

Sometimes Advice Should Be Ignored

2011-04-06T11:42:00.008-04:00

I had an interesting conversation with a woman during my physical therapy appointment yesterday and it only reinforced the importance of seeking advice from a physician, pharmacist or just flat out using common sense.

According to her, extra strength Orajel can be applied to other areas of the body, not just on the gums of a person's mouth. Apparently, she said, it contains a better numbing agent then some of the other creams on the market.

I thought, you know, maybe she's on to something here. Orajel is used all the time for teething babies. Why not other types of pain?

She recommended applying “a good-sized goop” along with some heat and swore the pain would disappear for three years.

My therapist and I exchanged looks and I jokingly said, “Well, I guess I'm gonna have to fill my tub with some Orajel tonight.”

Come on, a three year pain cure? Taking nothing for face value, I looked up her claim on the internet as soon as I got home and found Orajel or rather its active ingredient, benzocaine, is used as a numbing agent for certain medical procedures and even minor skin irritations; however, it should NEVER be applied over larger areas of skin. An overdose can cause fatal side effects.

Don't believe me? Please check it out for yourself:

Orajel

The Mind, Body, Spirit and Emotional Connection

2011-04-04T23:01:00.005-04:00

I often wonder what triggered my fibromyalgia. What flipped the switch in my body to make my own Central Nervous System turn against me? Aside from childbirth, I never experienced a physical trauma. Maybe I sustained more of a emotional trauma than I realized, when my Mother passed away from cancer in 2006. Of course, the possibility exists as well that it was triggered by a virus. Perhaps, it's a culmination of all three.

The more I research Fibromyalgia causes and treatments, the more I am inclined to believe a connection exists between the mind and body. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not suggesting our pain exists in our heads. On the contrary, I read somewhere (I wish I would have bookmarked the page to reference it here) when your body experiences any kind of trauma, it stores the memories of the experience(s) in the muscles and cells in your body. It's those muscle and cell memories, along with Central Nervous System abnormalities, which cause pain throughout the body. It makes sense to me because I believe the human body is not wired to exist in separate parts – we are body, mind, emotion and spirit. Inseparable, until death.

For this reason, I tried Craniosacral therapy for the first time last week. For those of you not familiar with this type of massage therapy, it involves light touch between the cranial (head) and sacral (lower abdomen) areas of your body. In the most simplest of terms, the massage therapist gently places his/her hands above and below parts of your body, following the path of your spine, and uses energy to release tension and blockages, thereby stimulating the flow of cerebrospinal fluid. This type of massage is credited for managing many types of conditions to include migraines, neck and back pain and chronic conditions such as Fibromyalgia.

You may be wondering if it worked for me. I cannot commit to an answer either way just yet. It's very likely I will require more sessions to experience any substantial relief from symptoms. However, I can relay my experience with you.

Before starting the session, Joyce and I discussed my condition and I explained this was my first time. She assured me it would be a pain-free experience (unlike some other massage modalities) and a very relaxing one. She also warned that some clients become emotional because of the release of tension and blockages within the body or that I may feel the need to stretch my arms and/or legs. She also said she would not speak unless I had questions; she would follow my lead.

Joyce worked differently than what I expected. She started at my feet and moved to my knees. She then moved to my lower abdomen and slowly up to my head. Once she reached my head, she stood behind me and gently cupped my head in her hands. I felt immediate pain in my neck and shoulders and she could tell. She gently placed my head back down on the pillow and worked around my neck and face. Then she continued down my spine back to my abdomen. This time while she worked on my lower abdominal area, I felt the most amazing warmth come over my entire body. With my eyes closed, I saw different hues of purple. I felt a sense of indescribable calm and peace. It was the most amazing feeling and I didn't want it to ever end. Unfortunately, Joyce spoke to me and interrupted my calm. Ironically, she explained what I might start feeling and that some clients begin see colors at a certain point when blockages are released. As hard as I tried, and maybe that was my problem, I couldn't get back to that state of calm. As Joyce continued with the massage, I noticed she concentrated a lot on my right shoulder, both hips and right knee even though I never mentioned these areas as bothersome. She mentioned feeling drawn to these areas and perhaps that's why she began at my feet as well. At the end of the session, she returned to my head and cupped it again. This time I felt no pain.

I left feeling drained, exhausted of all energy, and dreading the drive across town to get home. Joyce warned me to drive carefully because my senses would be dulled as would my reaction time. When I arrived, I don't think I was home for more than 10 minutes when a surge of emotions hit me hard. My tears flowed freely as I described the session to my husband, Todd - the overwhelming sense of calm, and beautiful, vivid shades of purple. Overall, I think had it not been for the interruption, the session would have been a more satisfying holistic experience. That's not to say the massage was unsatisfying. Remember at the beginning, I felt pain in my neck and shoulders when Joyce cupped my head, but at the end I didn't. This is why more sessions may be necessary to really benefit from Craniosacral therapy or any alternative therapy really. For as we all know, there's no such thing as a quick fix.

Allow Me to Introduce Myself

2011-03-31T19:13:00.003-04:00

My name is Britta and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia during the Fall of 2009. I wish I could say my life has gotten easier or better since being diagnosed, but it hasn't. I do my best to manage my illness, which is about all any of us can do. I have two children, aged 11 and 8, and a husband I adore. I'm not able to do a lot of the things I'd like to do with them; the things "normal" people take for granted. I find I struggle almost on a daily basis and have to rest because I am either in too much pain or too fatigued to do anything else, especially during a flare. I am slowly learning how to better pace my tasks, so that I can enjoy my family. Unfortunately, it is a trial and error learning process and I find I tend to overdo certain activities. My greatest desire is to just be in the moment with my beautiful family and forget my health woes.

Life with Fibromyalgia causes an endless amount of frustration, because there's so much we have yet to discover about this illness. Let there be no doubt, the Fibro fight is an uphill battle. And, it certainly doesn't help when naysayers in the medical community or elsewhere discredit Fibromyalgia as a "fake illness." Let me assure you, Fibromyalgia is real, very real.

When you are first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, your doctor begins prescribing medications to manage your ongoing list of symptoms and typically recommends alternative therapies. If you are lucky, you tolerate the medications and respond well. If you're not lucky, the medications don't help or you may even suffer from horrendous side effects worse then Fibro itself. In a nutshell, Fibro survivors have to work closely with their doctors to find the right combination of medications to manage their symptoms.

My intention with this blog is not to paint a bleak picture of this illness, but to share all I can about my Fibromyalgia treatment experiences with you as well as explore options* and coping techniques. Mostly, I intend to share my experiences as a Fibromyalgia survivor, wife and mother.

*Please keep in mind I'm not a medical professional and cannot make any recommendations regarding what treatment plan you should pursue.