Not Your Typical Granny

In Memoriam....

2011-06-21T00:05:00.002-04:00

He is 4 Years Old

2011-02-01T21:55:00.005-05:00

I started this blog to join into the blogging world. Which I thought was a bunch of fun people who would support you and join with you.

I've supported bloggers who have lost sons, needed help for their grandparents, just been good people who have been caught up in this damn recession. I've made friends that I talk to on the phone and those I have had the tremendous pleasure of being invited to their homes.

I have been a bad blogger...I blame it on FB...but I have been bouncing all over reading my friends blogs..rarely commenting (because I am doing it at work and I can get away with google reader on my computer when my boss walks in...but not your sexy header) LOL

My blog is going to change...I am in the midst of some life changing and scarey things. Things that I am not sure they are going to ever be right. The scarey part is they are not mine...they are what my 4 year old grandson, his mother and his father are going to have to learn to live with.

My 4 year old grandson has been diagnosed at Bipolar. I will share the rage incidents later, maybe. Godbless his current day care....they have been amazing, unlike the two before...

This blog is going to change, I need to be able to be there to help my daughter, her son, my SIL..and educate the rest of the world. My grandson is not a monster..he is a child with a mental health illness.

The short one in this picture...he is Bipolar. He has Rage incidents at his daycare that are scary. Rage incidents....these are not temper tantrums, these are destroying rooms, total loss of control.

He is an amazing little boy and will be an amazing person.

He is 4 years old.

Meeting Fellow Bloggers

2011-01-30T22:07:00.003-05:00

I had the privilege of meeting two bloggers today.

I know that is not a big thing to most of you..and it probably was not a big thing to them either, they have gone to blogger get togethers...Halloween parties....meet ups...

It was a HUGE thing to me.

Thank you Cher and Thank you Angel!! You are both amazing women and have amazing families.

Meet....Not Your Typical Floozy!

2011-01-19T08:42:00.005-05:00

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work last night. We needed a few essentials.

I am walking down the aisle with a 6 pack of beer in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other when I see them. A mother and teenage daughter walking towards me. Mother pushing the cart filled with groceries, daughter trailing a few paces behind (as teenage daughters do), frantically pulling down her T-Shirt.

Mind you, teenage daughter is a cute little blonde thing. Thin as cute little blond things are, with her hair in a pony tail.

I am, as I said, carrying the few essentials that we needed and I am wearing my black dress slacks, a knit top with 3/4 length sleeves. Said knit top has been washed a few times and it did shrink, I am also wearing my blackberry on my waist band.

Mother says to daughter, "...keep your shirt down, I don't want you walking around with your belly hanging out like some floozy."

"Sorry Mom", says cute teenage daughter.

They both glance at me as we pass...both their eyes drop to my waist area, where my belly is peeking out between my top and my slacks.

Mother frantically glances away and is now almost running down the aisle, daughter blushes and looks away and I? I burst out laughing, loudly. Good thing I had taken out my belly button ring...guess I was not your typical floozy.

Forever In My Heart

2011-01-16T06:46:00.000-05:00

Miss you Daddy!

William "Bill"Applegarth
November 18, 1932 - January 12, 2009

Letter to My Sister

2011-01-16T00:34:00.003-05:00

Dear Debi,

I do not know what is happening with you anymore? Where are you?

I remember when you were a baby....you were my baby..I was 3 and you were 5 months old we watched Romper Room on our black and white TV in the living room. Later when mommy would put you down for a nap...I would sneak into their bedroom where your crip was to watch you sleep. Then when you woke up..I would run to mom and tell her you were awake. She would take you out of the crib...nurse you and then let me hold you.

When you learned to walk...you walked to me and mommy and daddy...I was there when you were potty trained..(actually I remember rushing you to the potty..)

Later is school, my friends were your friends.

Now..I do not know you.

I wish I could understand where you are at...what is driving you to the decisions that you are making. But I cannot. I cannot understand why you are doing these things to our mother. Why you are still blaming her for your circumstance.

Every decision we make in our lives affects where we go. Each and every way we interact with someone affects our future. You have made your choices...

My job now is to protect our mother from you. You have made bad choices and bad decisions. You have decided that our mother is how you are going to survive.

That is not going to happen. You are not going to use, abuse, threaten our mother anymore.

She bailed you out of jail this time. It will not happen again.

I loved you and I am hoping that I can find it in myself to love you again someday. But right now all I can wonder is where is my "Debbie"?

2010-08-31T21:53:00.002-04:00

No title, no spell check..just me spouting off.

Death is not right...it never comes when you are expecting it. It never gives you enough warning. It really sucks when you find out through a FB post. Especially when that death could have been prevented. You feel helpless when you work in the field..even if it is on the outside..but they had the contacts.

I even wonder..."why didn't she leave?"

We gave her all the information...we gave her everything she needed...why? Why? WHY??? Did She Go Back???? She is DEAD!!!

Damn...I can't take this...I cannot stay doing the fundraising when we are not doing anything...

I need a new job.

Hi Tim!!

2010-04-15T23:00:00.002-04:00

My Rotary President has my blog on his yahoo sign in page and presented it tonight...

So I guess that means I need to start blogging again..

So.. I am back, with more and better ...and lots of stories of hot flashes...emotional outbursts..all the good stuff that goes with being almost 50...and still enjoying my wine

and for those of you who are joining me ...the wonderful blog design..was from my friend Sheila the desire to blog...came from finding some of these blogs and reading them...

I fell away for a short time..well long time...after Dad died..I was really not here or anywhere..

but I have found that I have missed the friendship that developed from the blogging. A lot of that transferred over to FaceBook..but I don't think we have the same "connection" in FB as we do in blogging...so..I am going to try and come back..and blog some more...

Note To Rotary Club Members....Get Over It!!

Feeling My Immortality

2010-01-19T09:01:00.004-05:00

I turn 50 this year...yup 1/2 a century old, 1/2 of 100 years old, 50...Fifty Years Old...

This has gotten me to thinking about my life, what I have accomplished, where I am.

I do have two children, 3 grandchildren, a wonderful husband (who also turns 50 a month before me...**snicker**). I think I have relatively good health, or so the Dr. tells me.

I do know that I am going to die though. At some time everything dies, plants, animals, people.

Die, Death, Dead....those words mean so much more now.

When you die, you are gone. You aren't here, you don't talk on the phone with your daughter, you don't attend a grandchild's school production. You aren't watching football or baseball or a Nascar race. You won't be going to any concerts...because you aren't here. You are Dead. Gone.

How will I be remembered? Will I be remembered? Oh, I know my children will remember me...often at first, then as time goes on memories will fade. I will always be there as their Mother. They will remember times and events, little things.

But after they are gone, who will remember me?

P.S. I haven't received any bad news or anything like that...just turning 50.

Was It Only Last Year

2010-01-10T22:51:00.003-05:00

January 2008 I wrote this, it was all a lie...well not all a lie..my sister was at the house taking care of my parents, our father.

January 12, 2009 he died...and with his death, my sister learned the truth..she is not the most important person in the world..she is not someone who people will look to for assistance, or even look to for guidance. Why not??? Because my sister is a drug addict who is taking advantage of everyone who ever loved her or cared about her.

My sister was able to go off of the drugs when she got pregnant...by her "fiance"..well that is what Larry has been introduced as to everyone..she even uses his last name sometimes....(we assume she was off the drugs only because the baby was born perfect)

She gave birth to a beautiful, healthy little girl..a child who has been exposed to some of the ugliest parts of life. I have to say, I am only guessing at the last statement..I have not personally seen anything that I can say puts the 1 year old girl at risk...only conversations over the phone.

Since January 12, 2009 our lives have all changed. My mother came to Florida this fall and spent 9 weeks here. She left my sister in charge of the house, paying her bills (all she had to do was mail the envelopes),.

When she arrived home, the house was a disaster, worse than a disaster, unlivable..just found out tonight (months later) that my sister had let some "friends" live there....she didn't mail the bills on time.....didn't do a lot of things.

Now my sister is mad at me because she can't understand why her "fiance" is in communications with his ex wife..I told her so what? You communicate with your ex..(he has custody of her 3 boys because she was determined unfit due to her drug use).

She hung up on my and screamed and yelled at our mother...slammed doors...screamed some more and left the house...

Note to my Sister:

Hello? You aren't even there..you drop off your child and leave..you spend your nights elsewhere...you are the reason you don't have a relationship..you are the reason he went to jail..you are the reason he doesn't care about you...

You told me that you don't want to be with him..here is your opportunity...

Oh wait..I forgot..you don't work because you are disabled...you haven't worked in 25 years...since you got married the first time...

Wow..you had an affair on your second husband....after a 20 year marriage (that you claimed was abusive)...we did find out that you were the abuser..of drugs.

The next time you are answer our mothers phone, and I ask to speak to our mother.....if you throw the phone and break it, I don't care what our mother says, I am calling the police on you, you will go to jail and I will make sure you do not have any contact with any of your children...including the baby girl.

You are out of control and need help, help I or mom, or your "friends" cannot provide. You need to check yourself into a facility..you need to be away from your "friends"...you need to Grow Up!!

My sister is a drug addict and tonight, on the road to destruction...2,000 miles away.

Introducing....

2010-01-07T15:07:00.006-05:00

Morgan!!

Her first Birthday! She looks a lot like her Daddy!!

Eating a snack this January!!

And finally, falling asleep while having a snack..She is her father's daughter!!

Anniversaries and so on...

2010-01-05T22:10:00.004-05:00

In one week my father will have been dead for 1 year...

In 6 days will be the 1 year anniversary of the last time I spoke to my father...

It wasn't really a conversation, because he could not speak, he lost the ability to speak months before. He could hear and he would respond to those around him with facial expressions, hand movements and head movements.

My daddy did not die from a stroke or a heart attack or anything sudden..it was a long, drawn out illness that took 2 years to sap the life out of him. I visited with him in November 2008...he died January 12, 2009.

My last conversation with my daddy was over the phone, with someone holding the phone for him, with his eyes open and moving...I told him "I love you daddy" and I repeated what he always said to my sister and I whenever we told him we loved him..."I know daddy..you love us more"...

Future Actions Will Speak Louder Than Words

2009-07-21T11:15:00.002-04:00

It does take a lot to publicly apologize,

but is it just a publicity stunt? Or will he truly complete the Batterer's Intervention Program?

I, personally, believe that he should start a campaign with National Network to End Dometistic Violence, or National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to reach out to young people and be a voice to them. Part of his community service should include a national program.

Dear Mother Nature

2009-07-10T08:44:00.004-04:00

Five days of rain will not cure a 5 year drought.

Signed,

Wet and Webbed in Flroida.

I am quitting smoking...

2009-07-01T21:56:00.002-04:00

and I am a bear. It is only day 2 but I am really going to try this time.

In 1992 I quit for 3 years. So I know I can do it again.

In the last 5 years I have quit 3 times, the longest time was 27 days...so I have some goals, once I hit 27 days then my new record will be 28 days and so on.

I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I want to live past 62...I am 48 now and I don't want to go before I get to do everything I want to do. I have a "Bucket List" and I want to complete it.

For Puppy Monster

2009-06-21T10:49:00.001-04:00

Thinking of you and sending you cyber hugs!

Snowbird Regulations

2009-04-13T13:32:00.004-04:00

I live in a state that depends on the kindness of others to exist. Meaning, we depend on retired Northern individuals to come to Florida to escape from the harsh winters up North (fondly referred to as Snowbirds). Many of them even come from another country (Canada).

Now, don't get me wrong, Snowbirds are wonderful people and our state could not exist without them. They come into our state/community and buy groceries, go out to eat, shop and visit the many tourist sites around the area, they volunteer at non-profit organizations. They spend money here!! They are good for the economy!! They also own second homes here and don't get any breaks on taxes, etc.

I truly do appreciate our Snowbirds, but I really feel there has to be some sort of regulations put into place and now is the time to do it. Now, when the Snowbirds are headed back to their Northern residences and families. We have about 6 months to get these regulations in place, approved at the State level and sent to each of the Snowbirds at their "permanent" residence.

It would a simple agreement between said Snowbird and the permanent residents of the State of Florida. Something that as they come into the state, they pull over at the "Welcome to Florida" Rest Area and read the agreement and sign it. Nothing too difficult.

Agreement as follows:

Snowbird will not schedule Dr. Appointments before 9 am or after 3 pm. See, as a working person, I schedule my Dr. appointments either first thing in the morning or the last appointment of the day. I work all day and I can't be taking off in the middle of the afternoon for an appointment. You are not working, you are retired, you can come to the Dr. in the middle of the day.
Snowbird will not make a left hand turn in the far right lane. (shouldn't need any explanation on that one)
Snowbird will not go to the bank (and/or post office) between the hours of noon and 2 pm. Again, I am a working person and try to do my banking during my lunch 1/2 hour. Yes, I only get a 1/2 an hour for lunch, so standing in line at the bank while you have the teller balance your check book or try and teach you how to use the ATM, does not make my day.
Snowbird will not go grocery shopping on Saturday or Sunday. Since I work Monday thru Friday, I tend to use Saturday and/or Sunday as my grocery shopping day. Now, mind you, I don't see a problem if you have to run in quickly to pick up another package of Depends, but come on, you have 5 other days of the week to pick up all that other stuff. There is no reason for you to park your shopping cart in the middle of the aisle, and study every can of green beans on the shelf.
In order to drive, Snowbird must be able to see over the steering wheel of their car. If you cannot see over the steering wheel and must see through it, I highly recommend you get a booster seat. They make them, they are available and maybe then you won't have to make that left hand turn from the far right lane.
Snowbird will look behind them when they are backing up in the parking lot. Going in reverse until you hit something, does not constitute looking.
Snowbird will follow the posted speed limits. Which means, if the speed limit is 45 you will drive 45, not 25 and hold us all up behind you as your peer through the steering wheel, trying to see over the huge front end of your Lincoln, trying to figure out which left you really do want, that one, oh no the next one, oh wait, I needed the one back there so let's stop and start backing up...

And last but not least,

Snowbirds required to be on oxygen cannot drive. Putting the oxygen tank in the back seat so you can still breath while driving does not work. If you are on oxygen don't drive!

These are just my suggestions.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

2009-04-08T12:49:00.003-04:00

That's the way it is around here right now. I am in the middle of the major fundraising portion of the year for my job. Grant writing....

Why is it, every major grant has to come out between March and April, with due dates the end of April and fiscal year start dates of July 1. Our budget is $1.3 million and right now, I have about 1/2 of that sitting on my desk. The other 1/2 will be out in June and July for October start dates. Those aren't so bad, there are only 3 or 4 but 6??? Now???

The grants due this time of year are the majority of our 3 year grants. For the last couple of years I've been lucky, had renewals that had to go in. Adjust the Objectives, Outcomes, new budgets, etc. Not that big of a deal. Well, now we have to rewrite the whole thing and they are open to other agencies, which means much more competitive. Especially in the current economic climate.

Anyone else tired of that term "current economic climate"? Makes it sound like it is going to get better right? Don't bet on it. Even with this stimulus money coming down, I don't think things are going to get better for at least another 5 years. Maybe slight improvements, but that's it.

We didn't have pay raises last year, I don't see them coming this year. Not with the budgets I have been seeing. Even if we qualify for some stimulus money, it will just fill in the gaps that we currently have, maybe be able to fill one of the empty positions that we have. We aren't filling positions after people leave either, no money.

Not a good thing when you work for a domestic violence & sexual assault center. You need to have staff to work in the shelter, you need staff to take those hotline calls that come in 24/7. You need staff to go to court with rape victims who are finally getting a chance to testify at the trial for a rape that occurred 2 years ago. We need staff to be able to pick up battered women and bring them into the shelter so they will be safe and not end up dead or beaten in a truck stop somewhere.

Okay, that is my rant for the day. Anyone know any more funny jokes??

Hi There!

2009-04-07T09:57:00.005-04:00

Wow, it's been a while. **cough** Excuse me while I brush the dust off of everything in here. It is a bit of a mess, can't imagine where all this crap comes from, especially when no one has been home!

Sorry, I've been away for a while. The first part of the year has been pretty tough and things don't seem to be getting much better. One of my co-workers has been diagnosed with breast cancer and is out of the office this week after her surgery. Luckily they were able to do a lumpectomy (sp?). Another co-worker is having heart issues, another one has a daughter who has been diagnosed with cervical cancer...just lots of joy and laughter here at work.

I have been wandering around reading blogs, not commenting much, but I have been reading you guys...and there is always drama going on in the blogosphere. I don't need drama, I have enough in my own life. I need humour, fun, all the good things that go on. I want to spit my Diet Coke through my nose onto my computer screen when I read someones blog.

So, come on guys, give me a hand....do something funny...'mkay??

2009-02-27T09:13:00.001-05:00

Please say a prayer for Lisa.

It's Finally Here!!

2009-02-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

Thank You Internets!

2009-02-10T18:26:00.002-05:00

I wanted to take a minute and thank everyone for the condolences over the recent death of my father. I really appreciate every one who took the time to leave a note, email me, send me a Facebook message.

It's been a real crazy couple of weeks. Two days after my father died my girlfriend and her husband stopped by to visit with us and see if they could do anything. She said a couple of different times that she could not imagine loosing her father. Her family lives in Pennsylvania. We've met her parents, she has met my parents. We just never got our parents to visit us at the same time, so our parent never met. If they had, they would have loved each other because they are so much alike. Anyway, the next morning she received word that her father had dropped dead of a heart attack.

God, I felt awful. I felt like I was killing fathers. I left work immediately to go to her and help her through the loss. I even called a couple of other friends whose fathers were still alive and told them to stay away from me.

We buried my father Sunday, January 25, 2008, she buried her father Saturday, January 24, 2008.

I am not going to promise to be back to posting every day. But I am really going to try and post more often.

We were at a wedding in Key West last weekend. Boy do I have some stories about that!!

Thank you again, internets. You all truly did help me through a very dark time.

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Week

2009-02-03T13:44:00.002-05:00

Do you or someone you know have a teen dating? How often do you really check your child's cell phone bill? Are you checking to see if they have gone over their minutes? Or are you checking to see who is calling/texting them? How often are they receiving these calls? Is your child getting any sleep at night? Or are the calls/text messages coming in all night long?

10 Teen Dating Abuse Facts

Physical and sexual abuse is the most often talked about piece of dating abuse.

One1 in five teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner.
One in three teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner.
One in four teenage girls who have been in relationships reveal they have been pressured to perform oral sex or engage in intercourse.

However, dating abuse doesn’t have to be physical. It can include verbal and emotional abuse and controlling behaviors.

More than one in four teenage girls in a relationship report enduring repeated verbal abuse.
One-third or more of teens who have been in a relationship have been with a partner who frequently asked where they were and whom they were with.
One in four teens who have been in a serious relationship say their boyfriend or girlfriend has tried to prevent them from spending time with friends or family; the same number have been pressured to only spend time with their partner.
Nearly one in five teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend had threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a break-up.

As technologies like cell phones and social networking become a common form of communication, they can also be used to abuse and control.

One in three teens (30 percent) say they are text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times an hour by a partner inquiring where they are, what they're doing, or who they're with.
68 percent of teens say boyfriends/girlfriends sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem.
71 percent of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem.

Sources:
Teenage Research Unlimited (http://www.loveisnotabuse.com/surveyresults.htm)
Technology & Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007
Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2006
Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2005

2009-01-12T13:05:00.002-05:00

I received the phone call this morning at 3:34 am ET.

The following is from one of his grandchildren:

Dear Grandpa,

I know you haven’t been feeling well and you might not be able to read this by the time I get it to you. I also know times might be rough and life might not be the easiest right now. You still make it through day but day.Even though it has been a long time ago. I still remember the days you would play trucks and tractors with me when no one else would. Even the time we went camping you would play trucks in the sand on the beach with me.It must be painful to watch us as you lay there. BUT NO NEED to fret we all look at you just the same. I hate to watch you fade away like an innocent sand castle slowly falling apart. There are people that don’t understand what you are saying, but I can. The screams of anger, the helplessness you feel, the words you want to say. Don’t fret I can hear those word.All the times we had together are now memories, But our memories together, are just like diamonds. they last forever and will always be shiny and clear. The words and wisdom from you will run through my head forever. You will always be in my memory.You don’t need to worry about a thing because as I watch you lay there in that bed I think that is your sandbox and I will play with you as you did with me.

RIP

William O. Applegarth

November 18, 1932-January 12, 2009

Wenatchee, Washington

Daddy

2009-01-11T13:46:00.004-05:00

I'm waiting for that one phone call that everyone dreads. The phone call where part of your life ends.

Friday night the hospice nurse told my mother my father had 24 hours. Today is Sunday and he is still with us. Today the nurse came by and can't believe he is still with us.

It's time to go daddy. I love you, but it's time to rest.