Organized & Loving Chaos

Still Trying to "Out Parent" Our Parents

2015-05-11T16:36:00.003-05:00

Holy Crap!! Lots have happened since I posted almost 3 years ago. Let's see, "weed" has been legalized in a few states, Patrick Swayze died, we are still at war (no matter what anyone says), Mad Men is on its final season EVER, and "50 Shades of Gray" became a movie, oh I do believe our country is going to the Shitter. My personal opinion of course, but some of the problem is people don't talk anymore. My children freak out if they have to make a PHONE CALL and TALK on the phone!!

The Kids: "Like OMG, like do I have to really talk to like, a real like, person?"

Me: "It would be good practice for you to actually speak to a real live human being."

Then I think about the statement I just said. "Good practice"? They are 15 and 17 years old...They shouldn't NEED practice!...but they DO. And that's the sad ugly truth. They are so uneducated on how the real world works, kids don't shake hands anymore, no car doors being opened for girls, what happened to looking the parents in the eyes, or don't lie to parents?!? And if a guy does open the car door for the girl she is so grateful. So much that she would sex with him that night or "just" give him a blow job. That is because he "respected" her from the very beginning of the date, but probably not at the end or next day. It is so sad how our girls' standards for boyfriends have just gone down low low low. And the boys don't even care.

Young men are getting arrested more now then ever, and in their middle school and high school years. Charges ranging from domestic battery to assault & batter to murder. I know that in my Blogs I'm always ripping on parents and children saying that they are out of control and blah, blah, blah. But this hits very close to my heart. I was a victim of abuse in high school by a boyfriend. I hid it from everyone, I was very good at hiding it and making up stories. No one had any idea, only one time was he caught. That was because he shattered my car door window and he had to pay for a new one. My mother warned me that night as she was helping pick glass pieces out of my hair. She warned, "Push will come to shove". I knew what she meant, but there was no way I was going to get out, plus I didn't think he would hurt me again. Well, I was wrong... he did. He was sent to the principle's office several times for hitting me in the hallways at school. Never once did the school call my parents, and my mom worked for the school district!...but so did his.

The abuse went on for years. I didn't tell a soul until I started dating my husband. It took me six years to tell someone about everything I went through. My husband has been by my side and never left for almost 30 years. He is an amazing man and I'm lucky. Just recently have I been able to face my fear of this old boyfriend of mine. He tried to crawl and creep his way back into my life after 25 years. All because he is getting a divorce from his second wife, whom he physically and emotionally abused. I looked up his past criminal record and it showed that his first wife had a restraining order against him too. He is not a good man, but yet women like him, is it because he held the door open for them on a date? Maybe he has a steady job and that is enough for some women, their lives are worth a paycheck. I don't know, I can't even explained why I stayed for almost 3 years with him...but I did. And if you know me I don't think in a minute you would believe that I would put up this...but I did.

My point is, people as a whole, we are not treating each other very well. It's not a man thing VS woman thing or "Mars VS Venus" thing, this is a Calm Down, Be Nice, Grow Up, Have Self Respect, & Own Your Actions thing. I think that young men are hurting young ladies because they are little boys inside. They are used to getting their own way and throw fits when they can't what they want. And who is to blame for that...That's right...The Parents!!! Girls are no angels, please don't think you're off the hook. Girls need to hold these boys to higher standards, and hold yourselves up to way higher standards. For instance, guys paying for dates, having manners, not using foul language, and greeting the parents properly EVERYTIME he picks you up is NOT a lot to ask. Just because he pays for dinner doesn't mean he gets to have his way with you for desert, that is NOT the way it works! A person that cares about someone doesn't call that person names. That is just a fact! There have been just a handful of times I have overheard a punk kid calls his girlfriend a "Bitch". Again, if you know me I don't think for one minute you would think I would let this just go by without words between the punk and I.

As parents we have a huge responsibility. But it is also a time for creativity and redemption. As parents we have an opportunity to "Out Parent" our own parents. As you were being punished don't you remember the countless times you vowed to let YOUR CHILDREN DO this or that. How about when you vowed that you WOULD NEVER let your children do chores! That is always my favorite to reflect on. Well, this is our chance to be those parents! I feel like we are letting down our children, because we are so selfish. Why not try to listen to them, think if what you are about to say is going to build them up or bring them down. Let's teach our boys to be men and our girls to be ladies. Let's vow to teach them to Calm Down, Be Nice, Grow Up, Have Self Respect, & Own Their Actions...

Learn...Love...Live

2012-11-01T13:49:00.004-05:00

I have so many little half done projects. That is not true, I have quarter done projects. I have two books that I have started and we are packing to move. That is right we are moving, but I don't have a clue where. If I had my choice we would move up to Parkville, but it is a family decision and as it looks now we are staying put in Olathe, KS. I'm not that happiest camper in the woods but what is a girl to do. Along with this move comes a bunch of emotions. Our children are the ones that are truly affected by this. Our High School Freshman daughter and our 7th grader are not happy about this. This is the only home they know, this is the only area they know, and this will uproot them from their comfortable lives. But life isn't always comfortable.

So how are they handling this? They are doing what most teenagers do...rebel. Not in a really bad way, but they are stressed and unless we talk about what is going on they're going to be stressed and grounded. What we do in our family is hold, "Family Meetings". Anyone can call them, but whomever calls it has to lead the meeting. This is a safe place for the kids to speak of their emotions, struggles, and worries to the family. It help keeps the communication flowing in the house. But if you know myself and my family there is never a loss for words. We all have very passionate and strong personalities, this is not always a good mix. It does help us love hard, cry hard, and live full lives.

In our meetings we have to have a speak stick. If we didn't have one everyone would speak all at once and nothing would get solved. We do have some rules that go along with these meetings:

1. Whoever has the "Speak Stick" is the only one speaking
2. What is said in the meeting stays in the meeting
3. After something is said it can't be brought up against them.
4. It's time to be truthful
5. The meeting must be a safe place
6. When meeting is over no one can leave with unanswered questions or unaddressed feelings
7. We must play a game or watch a movie together when meeting is over
8. Must love each other unconditionally
9. Must say one thing nice to each other when meeting is closing
10. Again, Nothing leaves the meeting

This is one way to stop behavior before it starts or nip it in the bud. When family expresses concerns about a situation or feeling with each other then they learn how to control their feelings. Nothing is ever permanent and life is in constant change. A bad thing is always a learning thing. Try a family meeting someday, you will notice stress disappears and kindness with love appears. Good Luck

It IS YOUR Business...

2012-10-01T22:21:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't written a Blog in a minute. Anyone who doesn't get the "minute" comment obviously hasn't seen the movie "Project X". I have....obviously. Watching that movie reminds me of how important it is, as a parent, to be completely and 100% involved in my children's lives. It is too bad my children sometimes don't feel that way. But at the end of the day I can rest better knowing that I put 110% effort in raising my children. Really, their not "My" children, they're "Our" children considering that I'm still married to their Father and have been for almost 20 years (we've been together for 24 years). It's so nice knowing that I don't have to do this thing called parenting on my own. Mike, my husband/their Father, and I try very hard to back each other up when it comes to our children.

By no means am I stating that we are the perfect couple or the perfect family. That would be a flat out lie. I am simply stating that Mike and I made it a priority to raise loving, moral, and strong children. When we dated we always talked about how we would like our children's upbringing to be. We always knew that I would stay home with the kids and take care of the everyday household duties. I know I have a college degree, but my career path was going to be our family. We always knew that Mike would be the main source of income. We also KNEW that we wanted our children to grow up with Jesus in their lives. We knew all of this about each other before we were married, had children, and settled into a home or church. God is very important to us..even when we were dating.

I sleep better knowing that our children have a solid foundation of Christianity. So that way, when our children are in their 20's 30's 40's and so on(which Nate is 24 years old) and going out or doing whatever, they will know God is with them, always. Statistics show that children raised with The Church, even though they may walk away from Jesus for some reason or another, are more likely to raise their children with The Church....

*For those of you who are thinking the word "church" as to mean a building
with people there on Wednesday nights and/or Sunday mornings please let me
correct you. The word "Church" means The Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ
is "The Church".
*I didn't use the word "Religion" because religion is man made, but
Christianity is Christ made.

My point is...

Parents please, if you haven't yet then please start, to get involved in your child's life. It IS YOUR business what they do! It IS YOUR business who they are with! It IS YOUR business to ask questions! It IS YOUR business to give your child boundaries. It IS YOUR business to make rules! It IS YOUR business to be involved! It IS YOUR

To Be Continued.....

Bully VS Coward

2012-07-11T11:58:00.001-05:00
I have watched my children and their friends go through a roller coaster of emotions with Facebook and Twitter. All of it is uncalled for. The media has dubbed it, "Cyber Bullying", but that is giving it too much power with the word "Bully" in it. Back in the day, you know cause I'm real old, when encountering a "bully" it was a face to face thing. The people had to look each other in the eyes and say or do what they intended to do. Now it is like word and picture vomit, but only worse because these kids have no clue about what they are saying or doing. I know, I know, you are going to say, "Well, my children have never experienced that or would never do that". I have two words for you....You're Ignorant. If you are truly thinking that, you better do a parenting check, because you have just proved to yourself that you are not engaged in your children's lives. So for the rest of this Blog I will not call it "bullying" it is truly being a "coward".

I know this has happened to all 4 of our children. They have been on both sides, being the coward and being the victim of someone being a coward. It's not cool and they were punished for when they did it and comforted when it happened to them. Also, there were times that I had to take over the situation, which if anyone knows myself and my family, that is not a good thing. I will and have gone after the people/families that have been cowards towards us. Don't mess with my family, enough said.

But something came to my attention just the other day and it truly disturbed me. A friend of one of my daughters was threatened on Twitter by a couple of girls (if you want to call them that). This friend of our family was in deep distress, she didn't even go to the commitments she had to do in fear of running into them. The reason is because the cowards said that they were going to beat her until she was dead. Now if I remember correctly isn't that a law breaking threat? But that isn't even the half of it! This all started because of a boy posting a very rude and personal comment about my daughter's friend. One which is no ones business, and for a "boy" to get involved in a teenage girl fight is ridiculous. This just sends messages to boys that it is OK to treat girls like dirt and they have the right to degrade them in any way. In turn it is telling the girls that boys are mean, to be afraid of them because they will hurt you emotionally and possibly physically. This doesn't sit well with me at all.

And as for me, I know with my BPD I have to lay low and chill. I have to see what comes from this, but inside I want to call/visit the cowards (in which I know personally) and their families and let them have it. But I won't....I have to stop, breath, and figure out my next move, if there is one. I will not let this continue to happen to the beautiful girls and boys in my children's life. I will do the right thing and stick to my morals and beliefs. I will always do my best to make sure that our children don't become the cowards. We want them to be strong but kind, loving and not lusting, Christians and not religious, and to always be in control of the things they do and say.

To be continued.........

"Big Joe's Bar"

2012-06-19T18:14:00.000-05:00
Here's one for you all......My youngest son, Joe, who is only 12 years old wanted to open a bar. So we had a long chat about it, and his idea about this even though it was "crazy" it's also very imaginative. Joe sat me down and explained to me that he wants to open a bar here in the house...OUR house. Specifically, in his bedroom. I asked him what he was going to serve. He told me beer, wine, juice boxes, and soda. It took so much for me not to laugh in his face, but he was extremely serious about this and I didn't want to discourage him. So we took this "Bar" idea for a spin.

I asked him what the name was going to be and he said, "Joe's Bar". So together we brainstormed about different names for his bar and decided on "Big Joe's Bar". I explained to him that he needs to have a liquor's license for this, and he told me "No Problem, I can get that easy". The snag came when I told him I do not want adults and kids trampling in my house and up my stairs to his room. That one caught him off guard (like really? Are you serious?). He had to stop and think on that one.

After a few minutes of thinking about it he jumped right back into the conversation and stated that "Big Joe's Bar" would be a traveling bar. And thankfully after a couple minutes of persuasion he decided to drop the beer and wine and just cater to kids with juice boxes,soda, and possibly energy drinks. He is going to put the drinks in our cooler that rolls and sell the drinks at our neighborhood pool and other pools around here. It's actually is a great idea, I know our pool doesn't have a vending machine. So prices start at, one juice box is going to be $1.00, soda $1.50, and he might include energy drinks which would be $2.00. I love this kid so much, and I love the ideas he comes up with.

This was just one of many, another one of his ideas was to pickup dog poop. But I will leave that story for another day.

What to do, What to do?????

2012-06-04T21:47:00.000-05:00
When getting thrown curve balls you hit them the best you can. I believe that's the way life is. Life is never straight on target, you get curves and then you learn to roll with them. It's your choice if you roll with the curves with ease or resistance. I do a bit of both. There are some things that I feel so strongly about, that I will not compromise my morals. And then there is just the opposite. Sometimes a little of this and a little of that is not so bad. ALL IN MODERATION!!!

I do wish I had more drive to make some changes in my life. I was a triathlete from 2000 till 2004, with only 11% body fat. Yeah, I was looking good (if I may say so myself). But then I needed to slow down but I wouldn't, not even after 4 left knee surgeries. And running a half marathon with meningitis. After that I got really sick, and had to quit everything. And I got fat and somewhat lazy, as far as exercising goes. But at that time I wasn't healthy I was fit. There is a big difference between the two. Basically my body shut down, and I lost what my identity was back then. I was a triathlete, mom, wife, and then Christian. So me "having" to slow my life down was a blessing....in disguise.

I have always been one to have a "title". I was a kid, High School Graduate, College Graduate, Christian, wife, mother, I adopted a child, boxer, triathlete, hot mom (MILF), sales representative (and at one job ranked 2nd Nationally), survivor, and now for the past 7 years I'm still trying to find out "who I am" now. I know so much about life and people, but what do I do with all of this knowledge and I yearn for the wisdom to know.

I read a lot!!!! I would like to write more, but I don't. I would love to start regularly exercise but I'm scared I will get sick again. I started drawing in a sketch book and I like that. Even though I draw like a 3rd grader. I love volunteering some of my time to my church and other passions. I love helping people in need. URGH!!!! I have no idea what I'm going to do when I grow up!

So I have come up with some conclusions, do you want to hear them? Or read them? Life is so short, I know people say that all the time, but when a family has experienced a death of a child like ours, you really get and understand and respect that phrase. I want to be happy and most of all I want to make God happy. I have a strong desire to do what God wants me to do, but I don't know what that is yet. So for now I'm going to enjoy my life, close my mouth, open my ears, and wait for my Savior to direct me.....THEN JUMP ON IT!!!! I hope you do the same.

Life Is Messy, So Grow Up

2012-05-01T00:31:00.001-05:00

I am very transparent with my life and the happenings that go along with it. Honestly, you can ask me anything and I will answer it with only the truth. Except to my husband.JUST KIDDING!!!!! I believe that SO many people are "playing" the part of having that perfect life, family, and marriage. But I don't, my life is far from perfect...it is very messy.
And we (as a family) clean up these messes together. But some are hard and it may take years to clean up. And as adults and parents you have to put limits and consequences on these "messes" and the people who make them.
Personally I think some parents don't care. They have become too "self involved" or just plan lazy to clean up their messes. You know who suffers from this kind of attitude? Their children of course, but what about those kids friends? What about the parents that are trying so hard to keep their kids strong and not give into peer pressure. We try and even role model, but sometimes it doesn't matter.
So if you read my Blogs and you are a lazy parent this one is for you. Not only are you hurting YOUR CHILDREN...but you are hurting their friends and their families. So straighten up and make rules, give out chores, don't try to buy your kids love. I promise you children don't want things.....they want to know you care and love them, and objects/toys doesn't cut it.

BPD & DBT? No Wonder I am So Confused!

2012-02-25T16:11:00.000-06:00
Anyone who says their family is perfect is full of crap!!! And when you have friends and neighbors and YOU think their lives are perfect, then you are full of crap! Truth is there is no such thing as a perfect couple, perfect kid, perfect family or marriage. The only thing that has been perfect on this earth was Jesus Christ. He never sinned, but He was tested, and He loved. That word "LOVE" is such a strong word.

The word "LOVE", and the many uses for it is unlimited. It actually can mean both hate and love, depending on the way it is presented. But I love to use it in the way of, "I love you with all my heart". It is an easy word to say, but for some people (like me) it is hard to believe. It is hard for me to believe that anyone can love me because honestly, I'm not sure I love myself. I don't know how many people feel that way, but I have found out why I feel it. I have a mental disease called Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD for short. It is a very complicated disease to have, basically it sucks and there is no pill that will make it go away. But I'm getting help, I am going to this therapy called:
DBT - Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). DBT was designed specifically to treat borderline personality disorder. Generally done through individual, group and phone counseling, DBT uses a skills-based approach to teach you how to regulate your emotions, tolerate distress and improve relationships. So the people around me, really only my family knows what truly the symptoms are. I have been in distress so many times, which puts my family in distress. It has been very hard on them and myself.

So this "LOVE" thing to me is wild. Mike is such a wonderful leader, he's so patient, he has never threatened to leave me, even though I have done it to him many times, and he helps the kids try to understand all the chaos that is happening in our lives. When Mike says he loves me he actually means it, even though I don't know how he can. So when he says, "I love you", in my mind all I think is,"why and how". But when I say it to him I mean it. I truly mean it, I love Mike so much that the words don't do it justice. But through my DBT I will learn to understand his love for me and I will learn to love and forgive myself.

Introducing... "Gloria", The Snow Mermaid

2012-02-14T20:03:00.000-06:00
Anyone in the Kansas City area knows a couple of nights ago we received about 1-2 inches of snow. It was enough to call most schools out. But luckily not ours!!! My children were so mad, but I sure wasn't. Last week they had 2 days off from school and the week before that they had Friday off. Of course they will be home this Monday for the holiday. I'm telling you that our children are always out of school, especially 3rd quarter. You are probably thinking, "What kind of Mom are you that you don't want your kids home". When they are home from school I usually have at least 4-5 extra kids in my house to: feed, continuously ask them to clean up their messes, trying to sneak food in their rooms, and worse of all they take over the computer. But I love all of those "extra" kids, so I can't complain.

The snow we got was perfect for making snowmen or having a snowball fight. None of which my children did. But last night I couldn't sleep. Have you ever had one of those nights when you just can't settle down to sleep? I seem to have them very often, but last night was different. Instead of curling up on our warm comfy sofa, with the TV remote, a big glass of water, pillows, and at least two comforters...I went outside at around 10:00pm and started playing in the snow. I had on my slippers, no coat, just a scarf, and mittens. The worst part about it was I was in my pajamas. But I was so excited to go out there and dig into that snow that I didn't care.

I tried to get my oldest daughter, Sarah-Kate, to come outside with me, but she said it was too cold (Whatever!) My husband, Mike, wasn't home because he works weird hours. None of that stopped me from going outside to try to make something out of that perfect white icy snow. Even if it was very dark, and I couldn't see very well, or the fact I didn't have a shovel to help move the snow. I went into the garage and started looking through Mike's tools. I found exactly what I needed...a big squeegee thing. He uses it when he washes out the garage floor and it pushes the water out. Basically a big windshield wiper on a stick. I moved some snow and got started.

First I made a big ball of snow thinking I was going to make a snowman. But everyone makes snowmen with the carrot for a nose and stones for his eyes. I didn't want to do that, I didn't want to be like everyone else. I guess you could say I'm a bit competitive. I was looking at my big white cold snowball and knew that a regular snowman would not do our family and house justice. So my brain juices started running, and I decided I was going to make an octopus out of this ball. I started making the tentacles, two actually, and realized I forgot if they have eight or twelve tentacles. So that was out. Then I thought I would make a spider instead. I knew spiders only had 8 legs and I was going to use black shiny glass beads for the eyes. But how many eyes? Then I started second guessing myself and was thinking spiders only have six legs. That sounded wrong too, so I gave up on that idea.

After one hour outside I had a third idea. I was going to make a person look like they were buried in the snow. Like in that episode of "Friends" when Joey gets buried in the sand, but has boobs. That is what I was going to do. The two tentacles were transformed into arms and away I went. After awhile I realized I didn't like that idea either, but left the "arms". It was getting close to two hours outside, then...

Finally, I GOT IT!!!! After being in the snow with just a scarf, mittens, and my slippers I knew what I was going to make. I was going to make a full bodied MERMAID!!!! So I formed the body, it took awhile because our dog, Boo, kept running through her fins. I perfectly formed the body and tail. I even smoothed out the body, tail, made her head smaller, and made BOOBS! I knew I couldn't keep "Gloria the Snow Mermaid" naked because we have neighbors with young kids...so back to the garage for supplies.

I had a bag full of leis, and two different kinds of grass skirts. I bought them for a Hula Party we never had. I pulled out a sparkly green hula skirt for her hair. When I did that I knew I made the right decision to make a mermaid, plus it was now about two or more hours I have been outside. I used two blue flowers from a lei for the eyes and red flowers for the mouth. I was almost done. The only thing left would be the coconut shells to go over the boobs. At that time all I could think of was that Heidi girl from "The Hills", and how she wanted size "H" implants for "Heidi". Since I was the snow plastic surgeon I was going to make these boob big...real big.

I didn't even think about the size of them until I went to put the shells on her naked private pieces parts. The shells didn't even come close to fitting. I guess I might have a bit of an obsession with snow boobs, or the power to make them any size I want. I had to take snow off the top of them and shove those shells on her. I'm talking packing them in. I have to say I'm pretty proud of Gloria, even if her face does look like Tammy Faye Bakker with green sparkly hair. Last night was so fun, I felt like I did back in Youngstown, OH. We always had snow like this, but better.

A round of Admiration and Love for Everyone, I'm Buying!

2012-02-05T01:56:00.000-06:00
Have you ever caught yourself not breathing, and when you finally take that deep breath and your fingertips tingle? Well, I have been having that "Finger Tingle" feeling quite often lately. Anyone who has read any of my Blogs knows that I am very candid with my life from my feelings, my trials, to my triumphs. This is going NOT going to be one of those! No I'm just kidding... kind of. I really only want to touch on a few things because the laughter in our house is back, Thank you Jesus. Later I'll fill you in on December 2011-February 2012. You all have to remind me, because I don't remember things very well on behalf of my three concussions last year.

Mike and I are praying if it is God's Will if we are to start holding support meetings for parents of children who have gone astray. Its purpose is to help parents know and understand;
1. The signs of when the child is starting to get out of control. And trust me the first sign is not just their grades dropping, but that is one of them.
2. Explain the process of "feelings" parents could possibly go through from finding out their children are not perfect to recovery.
3. To teach parents that "Feelings are NOT the Truth", and surviving on the truth.
4. How to stay calm during the first confronting, and not getting manipulated by your child.
5. How to decide on "When is Enough". Setting boundaries and protecting any younger children in the house.
So please say prayers for Mike and I to know that this is what He wants us to do. Thanks in advance, plus I would love to have your input about this. Leave a comment if you would, Thanks

I have an Allie story. She is so funny and very loud, I don't have a clue where she got it. So the other night Sarah-Kate, Allie, and I went to get Sarah-Kate a "Monroe" piercing. When the three of us are together some decisions we make are not always the most correct ones or it could be called making "Bad Choices". In my defense I start out on our adventures ecstatic because I have my girls with me and I know there won't be any fighting between any of us. We picked up Sarah-Kate from work at 5pm and started on our way to Missouri for her piercing. I was late, like usual, picking her up and she was starving. We all decided on AppleBee's off 103rd & State Line. We just ordered and Katy Perry's "Firework" came on and I dared Allie to dance around the restaurant. I told her I would give her $5 bucks if she did (she said she'd do it for free". It was going to be a win/win situation for her since she was already singing (sort of loud) and frolicking in the booth. AND SHE DID IT!!!! I have a video of it, some people were laughing with her and some people were looking at her with eyebrows down not knowing what she was doing. She is really coming out of her shell.

And finally another celebration. On February 5th it will be Mike's Anniversary for being sober for 5 years, he hasn't had a drop of alcohol, NADA, nothing, he just walked away from it. I can't even begin to explain the admiration and love I have for him. It's also going to be a 2 month Anniversary for another beautiful young woman that has been drug and alcohol free. Can we all have a round of applause for them? We have to thank God first because for the last 2 months He was and still is our pilot. I am so grateful and proud of them.

This is getting long so I will wrap it up. I have more stories of Mike and the kids, they are my world. Thank you for taking the time out and reading this. Please comment and follow me...I would really appreciate it. God Bless You and May You Bless God ~ Kristen

What happened to 2011?

2012-01-14T23:05:00.000-06:00
Well I hope this new year is a good one. Last year Mike and I said that 2011 was going to be our year. Yep, we said it was but it wasn't. With the difficult times we experienced it made us drop to our knees and just give it all up to God. And that is exactly what we did, that is all we could do. The month of December we really had a hard time with money, kids, family, and our own inner battles. I'm praying we rode out the storms (thanks to God), and won all those battles.

The things our family went through are truly unbelievable. I suffered 3 concussions from Feb. to Dec. My husband went through 3 jobs until the one he has now. And luckily, it is for more pay and he likes it. Sarah-Kate had to go through Hell in the month of December. But the outcome was so worth it. Allie is starting to have that peer pressure to drink and boys. She is staying strong and true to her values. Joe still is battling Marfan Syndrome of course. He had 2 laser eye surgeries in November, and now he is having trouble with his lungs. This is such a horrible disease. He loved to skateboard, I took him and his friends to different parks in the Kansas City area. But his synthetic lenses are now dislocating again and he is not able to skateboard any longer. And then there is Nate. All I want to say about that situation is we no longer speak to him until he makes some lifestyle changes.

But with all that crap we went through there is always things that went well. There were no divorces, we have our health, we all have made new friends, we found a new church, Life Church, and we all love each other. Plus, Mike and I are back on our routine of praying together everyday. The most important thing is I'm closer to God than I was at the beginning of the year. When things are going well in your life you say a real quick "Thank you" and think very litle about Jesus. But when things are bad you honestly realize and reflect that you have not had your alone prayer time with Him, you're not reading your Bible, the music you were listening to had nothing to do with God, and you just kind of let "things" happen. Well none of that for the Hansan Crew, and that makes everyone happy.

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to be a GREAT year!

My Four Kids.....What A Ride

2011-11-18T13:16:00.000-06:00
I have been finding out that I always start my blogs with stating that it has been a long time since last time I wrote. But it is true, our life has been turned all around but we survived it. It is amazing what God can do when you let go and let God take over. So things are looking up, and the kids are crazier than ever.

First let me start with Joe, why not, he is the one who always makes us scratch our heads and look at eachother with our lip curled up on one side, you know what I mean. We are completely confused by the stuff he says and does. And at times I wonder if he was switched at birth because my child would not be so stuck on poop, farting, boobs, and this one Michael Jackson move that he thinks is so funny. And I know the PSAs are all saying that a family that eats dinner together has all this great stuff happen to them, but they have never eaten dinner with our family. If they did that PSA would be removed from the TV so fast your head would spin. The reason why is, Joe does most of his "funny things" at the dinner table. Mike and I look at each other and try so hard not to laugh, because the girls are already laughing. Mike and I start out with a stern look at each other, then at Joe, then back to each other, then it is always Mike that starts to loose it. His shoulders will go up and he gets this silly grin on his face that is now turning red. Right then I tell Mike don't do it, but it is too late he busts out laughing. Then I can't help but laugh because, well I just can't help it. Joe is so funny and cute, even though Marfan Syndrome keeps him from playing sports and a lot of other activities it rarely gets him down. He is one in a million and we are so blessed to have him as a son.

Now Allie has this problem with telling stories. She seems to be unable to tell a whole story. The other day she had some drama in her life and we were talkin about it and what happened at school and how she fixed it. So she is telling me and this is what she says, "So I told her we need to talk about last Friday and her friend said yeah we do...and yah". Done that was the story, wait what? And "yah" what, so I had to ask her just that. She said, "Well we are going to talk about it later....and yah". Come on! Are you serious, I get another "and yah"! So again I have to ask her "then what happened"? She says, "Then Zack picked me up and dragged me to class...and yah". So I told her that if she was in a job interview she would not get the job...and yah. Allie goes this wasn't a job interview I was just telling you a story, and I said poorly. So Allie and I did a mock interview and I was going to interview her. I started with, "So what was your worst retail experience'? She replied, "An old lady yelled at me." I asked, "What did you do about that"? Her reply, "I walked away from her!" I said "WHAT, you walked away from her, she was your customer you can't do that!" She goes, "Mom, chill this isn't for real." Oh yeah, I just got a little excited. But as far as Allie goes as a person she is the most giving, humble, kind, beautiful, person. I love her so much. She takes after me in a lot of ways, but she has a lot of goals and she is driven to become something with her life and that determination comes from Mike.

Our Little Bird, Sarah, thinks she is tough but she is loving and kind. She is a challenge, but I have her figured out. She will never admit that I do, but I do. She is 17 and graduating in Dec. this year. We have always raised our children that they can do anything and that the whole world is open to them. Well, Sarah doesn't do well with that. She hates having too many decisions, it truly stresses her out. I feel so bad for her, she doesn't know what to do. We will support her in whatever decision she makes as long as it is legal. And if you know Sarah you would now why I put that legal comment in there, just kidding :) She is so smart, talented, beautiful, kind, thoughtful, and at times she doesn't believe it. In this house she is the trend setter. Everyone goes off of her style of clothes, hair, and makeup, music, and it goes on at school too. It is so sweet to walk in on her at night sleeping to check on her because she still sleeps like she did when she was a baby. When she was a baby we were attached at the hip, we were never apart (and it is kind of still that way). I love her so much, she means so much to me. I want her to be happy, secure with herself, maybe not so shy. But she is so funny, in the mornings it is always turn off the fan and open the blinds and it will be a very sad day when she moves on and I don't have to do that anymore. She is always on top of the fashion world, she is a great sister and daughter, her smile lights up a room, and her eyes sparkle when she is talking to someone she likes. She is my Little Bird, oh how I love her so.

Nate the oldest of the 4 I have to say is the whackiest. He had a hard first 7 years of his life, but then he came and lived with Mike, myself, and Sarah (she was 9 months old). It was a great day, it was on a Wednesday in March of 1995. He has grown up and some paths he took were hard, others not so hard. But I think that's how you get character. You get it during the hard times, and hopefully you will turn out like Nate with no anger or hate hidden deep inside. He is easy to forgive and that is one thing that I did learn from him...to forgive easily and let it go. I love this kid he is always in a good mood unless you wake him up. You never want to wake up the bear, he is horrible. We have had bad times and good times and great times and I would not trade any of them for anything. Nate and I in a way grew up together. I was 24 when we adopted him, I was very young. But I love him.

A couple months ago Nate got jumped by these 4 guys at his apartment after he got off work. One guy held Nate's arm to the staircase railing while the another guy did the same thing on the other. Then another guy just started beating up Nate, but these guys were drunk and Nate was sobber. The fourth guy didn't do anything and neither did Nate's roommate. But this scrappy little Asian friend of theirs named Elton (love him) jumped in and started pulling guys off of Nate. Then they ran off. Well, I knew about this story and one night I was over there and one of the guys come to Nate's apartment because his girlfriend is friends with one of Nate's roommates. So this guy puts his hand out to shake my hand and says nice to meet you. I slapped his hand away and said aren't you one of the guys that jumped my son! And he said no it was my friends, and I said why didn't you tell them to get off or help Nate? Then him and I were nose to nose yelling at each other, I used to be a boxer I could have taken him. Then this guy looks over at Nate who is leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and shruggs his shoulders and says you deal with her. Then the boy turned around and left. I have to say it was so much fun, almost like back in the day of my boxing period, sort of.

Sk8ter Boy

2011-10-26T16:24:00.000-05:00
Last Friday I took Joe and 3 of his friends to a skateboard store and a really hard skate park downtown KC. Four little 11 years old boys and me, a 41 year old mom that is totally out of my element. But lucky for me I do have some history in the skateboarding life. For a time in my life I was involved with Stephen Baldwin's Ministry. But he was just the face of it, the real man in charge of it, I will call him Mr. Southern. The legendary skater Christian Hosoi was one of the lead speakers/skaters. I was in charge of finding a venue, local talent, and raising money. Unfortunately, the Ministry went under and we never were able to have a show in Kansas City.

I think that skaters have a bad reputations. They are very stereo typed of being on drugs, drinking, fighting, and just getting in trouble all the time. I'm not saying that there aren't any of those people in that community, but there are skaters that are good people, Christians, and out there to spread God's word, but they are always over looked by the troubled skaters. But I blame that on the media, society, parents, and on the skaters.

The media only reports about the crime that happens up there. And trust me I know there is a lot. Lots of drugs, liquor, cigs, and fighting. But, there is also NOT ONE PARENT UP THERE. The parents just drop them off and are done with them until the park closes. It just seems that parents don't care what their kids do anymore, just as long as they are seen (for a second) and not heard. It is so unhealthy, and it is such an easy fix. Parents want to put them on antidepressants, ADD meds, anxiety meds, anything to tame them down so they, as in the parent, don't have to deal with the real problem.

The kids are lost, and when an adult sits down with just one kid, you will notice that several other will start to gather. They are just like everyone....They just want to be heard and validated. And to me they have some of the coolest ideas. Someone needs to believe in them, love them, keep promises (such as their parent's staying married).

Ok, I'm off my soapbox. The boys and I went to the Escapists store downtown off Broadway and Southwest Blvd. That store is so nice but about $20 higher then the prices here in Olathe, KS. But they had some great stickers. So we bought stickers and by the time we were in the parking lot the boys were putting them on the bottom of their boards. Then off to the skate park we went.

It was great, we had it all to ourselves for a long time. Penn Valley Skate Park really is not for new skaters. Luckily my boys have had some time at the park in Olathe, Two Trails. After about 1 1/2 hours these 2 guys show up and they ripped up the park. We were talking to them and they have been skating for 8 years. One boy broke his wrist twice, ankle twice, and arm once. I was explaining to the boys that you have to do these tricks and just know that you are going to brake something sometime......but just not that day on my time :)

They were cool with the broken bones, it was dropping into the bowl that terrified them. Go figure. We all agreed it was one of the best days ever. Then we decided to go to a restaurant down off Metcalf Ave. But to make that long trip fun everyone had a straw, a napkin, and spit. So at every red light we blew spit balls at the cars around us. It was great we got windows, doors, and gas lids. We were laughing so hard. It was a great day of boy fun, luckily this lady has a great sense of boy humor.

You Gotta Laugh!!!!

2011-10-20T20:18:00.000-05:00
If you have been reading my blogs you understand that for me, my life changes in a heartbeat. Well, there are these nice periods of time that things are quite. It's like the "calm before the storm", honestly it is. My older sister, Kim, always tells me in a boggled laugh that she can't believe all this happens to my family. Unfortunately, I have to agree with her. There are to keys to surviving these storms, 1) Pray & Put all Faith and Trust in Jesus 2) Step away from the situation and just watch how it plays out.

This year has had its ups and downs, but it seems as if it will end on a bad note. You know how I started this blog to share my family's funny stories? Well, in the last several months we seem to be running short on those. It totally sucks because I am not that kind of a person. I could always see the best in something bad, or could make a joke out of something. Lately my jokes and laughter are few and far between.

So here is what I am going to do, I will just list the short details of what is going on over here:

1)In 2009 Joe had the lenses in both eyes removed and synthetic ones put in. With "bags" stitched behind the lenses to keep in place. We just found out he will have to have another surgery to cut holes in the "bags" because his lenses are cloudy

2)Everyone knows in Feb, 2011 I suffered a 2nd grade concussion and ended up loosing my job that I loved. In August I suffered another concussion and my Post Concussion Syndrome was back (it never went away). We have now hired a lawyer and are trying to get Disability.

3) Mike had 2 part time jobs but no benefits, and we need them. He finally got a job with benefits, he was there for about 4 months and decides that job was not for him. So now we have 2 weeks benefits and to get all of our medical issues done.

4) Our oldest daughter Sarah-Kate keeps on saying that after graduation in December she is moving down to Texas to be with this boy that she has been talking to ONLINE for almost a year.

5) My health is not the best. But it is better not to tell anyone in my family because everyone is already dealing with a lot of crap. I feel this is my crap and will tell them when the time comes.

6) Our house is on the market, but we have had not had any showings in forever. That is fine because for some reason all the neighborhood kids think my house is theirs until bed time.

7) Even if we do sell it we have no idea where we are going.

Oh my gosh, as I am typing all this stuff out I am laughing. This is funny, this is the stuff movies are made of. I have 7 bad things that I easily rattled off, but I have about 100 good things I can also rattle off just as easy. It is so easy to get caught up in the drama of life and forget what the real purpose of life is. God wants us to be happy, joyous, trusting, and loving. I can be that, but "Life" gets in the way. Writing burdens out like that can really put things in perspective. I highly suggest it. Thanks for reading my complaining. Kristen

5 Dogs = 5 Crazy Days

2011-09-26T12:37:00.000-05:00
This blog will be short and sweet because I am so tired. I will run down the pros and cons about what is going on. So here is the situation: Sarah-Kate and I are house sitting my parent's house. Fine and dandy, but they have 2 Golden Retrievers and 1 Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Teddy, and he eats EVERYTHING. We brought up our 2 dogs also, and I honestly thought this would be easy because the dogs slept all afternoon. The real reason we volunteered was because my parents have cable and we don't, so this is a big deal to us.

We are in day 2 of 5 of house sitting. So far not to bad, feeding time really stinks because the dogs want to eat each others food. So my parents dogs eat first because they inhale their food, honestly I don't think they chew it. They just suck it up in one breath. Then I have to kick those dogs outside, and lock the door because Keeper - Golden Retriever, knows how to open the back sliding glass door. Then my 2 dogs eat and it takes them forever to eat. Then I have to give my parent's dogs their medicine, aka- "Pill". All the dogs know that the word "Pill" means, more dog treats. Cause if you give one dog a treat you have to give them all treat. Finally everyone is done, and we ALL chill out together for a bit.

My Dad did give me the lovely chore of watering the yard 2x a day. The whole yard, this one chore takes 2 hours....Not even kidding. Now I'm no idiot, but my Dad had to show me where to water, how long, and how to use the sprinklers. I'm fine with that it's whatever, I'm only 41 with a yard, family, house, and my own LAWN. So I'm pretty sure I know how to water a yard, but not his yard (I guess). Not only does my Dad take me on a "How to water MY yard" field trip, he has also drawn out a diagram of the yard with house, bushes, and trees on it. It shows where to water, directions how to water, and guidelines to knowing even if I should water. My parents are so retired. But my Dad takes his lawn very seriously....maybe too serious, I'm just saying.

So other than feeding the dogs, cleaning up poop from the dogs, giving them their medicine, and the 4 hours a day I spend watering the yard it has been a nice little get away. It's weird to not have Mike sleeping next to me and having to be quiet if I can't sleep. I watched TV till 1 am this morning, even though my parents bed is a king size there still isn't enough room for "everyone". Dasher the oldest Golden sleeps in between the pillows with his head on mine. Keeper the youngest Golden sleeps in the middle of the bed. Teddy sleeps right next to me, taking the covers. Boo, our dog, sleeps on a pillow on the floor by the bed. And little Miss Millie sleeps in front of the pillows next to me on the bed.

It has been fun staying here with Sarah-Kate and the dogs. Everyone needs some time alone, well almost all alone. But I wouldn't have had this weekend any other way. I love you Mom & Dad, and I love you my beautiful husband & kids.

Thank you Lord, Oh Thank You Lord

2011-09-18T20:16:00.000-05:00
As a mother of four children, one out of the house and 23 years old. Two teenage girls, the sympathy can start now. Last but not least we have Joe who is 11 years old. In my previous post I think I explained Joe pretty well. OH, since that post Joe has received 2 more detentions, we are so proud :) As a stay at home mom, sometimes you just want the kids to go away. By this time I would pay someone for privacy, food in the house, and silence. We are so busy, and I keep thinking that it will slow down but it doesn't. When there is a chance that the silence almost went away, you attitude changes. Even though your children will break glasses, plates, or tables from dancing on top of them your love for them never go away. When your kid starts to learn to ride a bike they fall a lot, and do you notice how your arms are. They are reached out even though you might be out of range to catch them. The same goes for driving. Your child backs out of the driveway, arm out the window waving goodbye. And then the praying starts, lots and lots of it. But at times even the Good Lord lets things happen to the people we love. We don't know why it was their time, you can't question it...it is just God. Today Sunday 18, 2011 I received a phone call from a Kansas Trooper. This call could be about Nate or Sarah-Kate. Sarah-Kate had just left for work at Hollister in Oak Park Center. And my fear was brought to life, Sarah-Kate was on I-35 Northbound in the middle lane, lost control of her car and at 65-70 mph and hit the concrete wall head on. Mike was working, so I couldn't get in touch with him, but my parents were over and my Daddy and I drove on the right shoulder to her wreck. All my Daddy kept saying was "you didn't tell me that is was on the highway". He must have said it 5-6 times. My Daddy and I had to cross the highway which wasn't moving because of her wreck. It was so weird to be on the highway and trying to keep it together for Sarah-Kate. So the "Pink" car is now totaled, but so what. We bought that car for a couple hundred dollars, Sarah-Kate is priceless. There are so many miracles that happened today, and you can't say "it's weird", cause it's not. It is God. So here how they go 1- The State Trooper driving behind her was headed to another accident on I-70, he saw it all 2- She was wearing her seat belt and walked away with a bloody nose 3-My parents were at my house so my Daddy and I could go to Sarah-Kate 4-The car is totaled, but she is not 5-No one else was involved 6-Our love for Jesus Christ grows everyday 7-To know that it is our Lord that kept her safe....and a seat belt.

OH MY GOSH, JOSEPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-08-26T15:40:00.000-05:00
My youngest son, Joe, is so sweet, so kind, and can be such a butt! The bad thing about that is he can be all of these at the same time. There just has to be something about the youngest child. You know, you're more chill with them, they get a car at 16, they get in trouble...kind of, and so basically they are spoiled. But I can only speak for Joe, he spoils me back. He is always the first one to call someone out if they say or do anything disrespectful to me. I love that in him, he is always out to help the "Underdog". It's the way he does this that can be seen as wrong, protective and loving, but just wrong.

I have so many stories of how he has done this, so I will only share a few. The first time Joe admitted to saying a bad word was in 4th grade. A friend of his told Joe that his mom said I was irresponsible. For the record I am not, I like to think of it as chill but with a side of hot. This all happened on the playground without any teachers around (thank you Lord). Joe's friend continues to say this to him until Joe just got so mad. Joe pushes the kid down to the ground, stands over him and says, "Well at least she isn't an asshole like your mom". I know, I know, not good behavior from Joe. But of course he isn't going to get in trouble for it. He was sticking up for me, and I thought is was cool. I would have done the very same thing, so I know where he gets his attitude. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

This other time I wasn't involved in, finally! Joe and the girls were fighting, the girls were at the top of the stairs and Joe was at the bottom. Right there this fight isn't fair, 2 against 1 not good odds for Joe. They are all yelling back and forth and yada, yada, yada, when the girls scream that Joe flipped them off. Unfortunately I wasn't the one who responded to this, Mike was. Mike doesn't like all of this giving the finger and language crap. That is what he calls it, "Crap" not bullshit or just shit..."Crap". But since Mike didn't see Joe flipping the girls off he let it go. All that did was escalate the fighting. Then from out of nowhere we all hear, "You guys can go f*$k yourselves". Where the heck did that come from? Mike marched right back into the entry way and took Joe to the kitchen sink. And as you can imagine the girls were laughing, which only made Joe more upset. Mike had Joe stick out his tongue and Mike slapped some "Soft Soap" on it. Then he made him sit in the dining room for 2 minutes. That had to be the longest 2 minutes ever.

At that time Joe was fair game, if you know what I mean. The girls would go look in the dining room at him then laugh and run away. It was so mean of them. Then Joe would cuss at them again, and he would get in trouble. This went on for so long that it started to get funny. The soap didn't teach Joe anything, he will still get caught giving the finger or cussing. What are you going to do?

So this afternoon I get a message from Joe and he got detention. He has only been in school for 2 weeks!!!!! I don't know what it is for, but I will find out. Maybe I will keep you posted.

School Enrollment or School Scam....You Decide

2011-08-24T18:59:00.000-05:00
First off let me say that I don't remember my parents having to pay fees for me to go to school. I watched the news the other day and the Shawnee Mission school district is getting their "panties in a bunch" because they will have to start paying fees at enrollment. Well, all I have to say is "Cry me a River". In Olathe we have paid a fee since my oldest started school. I will still have to pay that fee for another 6 years. The news said that the fee was a mandatory $75.00 in Olathe School District, well yeah we have that. But what the news forgot to mention are the fees for Room Mother $10.00, riding the bus $300.00, plus some other fees which add up to $25.00. So this year for my children to go to school the District's fee was $75.00, BUT we have yearbook and game passes also. So now, without clothes or school supplies the grand total to enroll my children was..............$495.00

If that doesn't shock you, well then we have the school supply list. I do have to say that my children love to go school supply shopping. I have no idea, but they do. Sarah-Kate says she loves the smell of new supplies...whatever floats your boat Sarah-Kate. Allie and Joe just like to spend money. They prefer the shopping for clothes rather than supplies. On the supply list they had the craziest stuff: stapler, stapler remover, post its, and other things. Luckily I had the girls with me because they knew what to get and what you can borrow from the school. Personally, I think with the school fees being that costly that we should not have to pay for supplies. But that is just me.

Do you remember the days that you could dress your children in anything YOU wanted them to wear. Now that they are older their fashion statements are a bit peculiar. I have no room to talk though, I used to wear long underwear under my skirts. But starting in about 6th grade I have noticed my kids get very "labelized". Name brand for this and name brand for that. I actually had Sarah-Kate go get a job at Hollister at the mall. We need all the discounts we can get. She is just happy to have a job, money, and now a car of her own. It's not the prettiest car, it is pink. But Mike calls it purple, he is wrong. The first car I drove was a 2-tone mustard color car. I wrecked it of course. My mom still talks about that car and how she loved it. I don't see me doing that with the PINK car.

But with this new school year we will have the same attitudes we had before. But one thing that won't be the same are my kids' teeth. They are either in braces or out of them, so they won't have the same teeth (which is nice). Another thing that won't change is that the girls will cry over boys, boys will try to beat each other in strength competitions, and you know that really doesn't change much when you grow up.

Ouch!!! Not Again!!!!!

2011-08-17T10:56:00.000-05:00
So I am going to try to type this post without any mistakes. I'm sure that won't happen though. See in February, 2011 I fell on the ice in our driveway and hit my head. I suffered a 2nd grade concussion which in turn ended up going into Post Concussion Syndrome. I don't have a very good short term memory, my speech is not the best, and I can't do math if my life depended on it. When I go to the doctor for my checkups I have to take an easy test to most, but I'm not like most anymore. My doctor will just ask me what day it is, who is the President, and so on. I get most of them wrong. But he is such a nice guy that he will tell me that I did great. But then he will in his polite way tell me I failed...Bummer!

The last time I took the test I failed, but I did improve. That was such a great day! Then some day last week, I don't remember when, I had a metal bar fall on my head. Here is what happened: the bar bonked my head, I threw up, I went to bed, and Mike made me go to the ER. The doctor there said that my eyes were severely dilated. I guess you couldn't see the brown, only the black pupil. So I went in for a CAT scan, no bleed, thank you Jesus. Then I went home. Someone had to be with me for 24 hours, and Mike had to work the next day. My mom volunteered to come over, and I have to admit there is nothing better then having your mom by your side when you're sick.

I'm back to square one. I have another severe concussion, and everything hurts. I am super tired, which I don't want to take naps during the day. I was waiting for my daughter at the mall to fill out some paperwork at Holister because she just got a job there. I was sitting in one of those wonderful leather chairs they have and fell asleep 3 TIMES!!! I had my phone in my hand and dropped it, that is what woke me up. There was this guy sitting next to me, and the only thing he said to me the whole hour was that I was snoring. It took everything in me not to say anything rude, so I just apologized.

We are going to see what happens next with the whole bruised brain thing. The kids continue to get out of their punishments. They will do something wrong and I will ground them from something. Then in an hour I will see them doing what I grounded them from. Then I will ask them, "Didn't I just ground you from that?". They will say no or say you grounded Blah Blah from this. And I don't feel up to interrogating them, so I let it go. I'm know it is wrong, but I have to carefully pick my battles. So, I will keep you posted on everything and if this contains wrong grammar I apologize. But if it contains not one error that is because I proof read this about 100 times. It only took my 3 days to write it....I was being sarcastic.

Where Were You?????

2011-08-08T23:24:00.000-05:00
My youngest daughter came home today from a 2 1/2 week stay at my sister's house in Winnetka, IL. I was so happy to see her get off that plane that I think I might have cut her air supply off. When I was up at the airport with my youngest son, Joe, we were looking at all of the different types of people. I was telling Joe how before 9/11 we were able to sit right in front of the gate door to welcome or send off our family members. And how Security hardly ever went through your items or pat you down. We were able to joke with the Security Officers about having a weapon and how we could even bring drinks on the plane. He just could not believe it. And then I realized how life has changed so much.

Our world will never be the same after that horrible day in September, 2001. I completely remember where I was that morning. I had just had knee surgery, and was stuck in bed. Mike was getting ready to leave for work, he stayed home a little longer that morning to take care of me. Mike was literally walking out the door when I yelled for him to come upstairs and watch on TV what just happened. We watched the TV together for awhile, but he went off to work. I asked him not to go, but he really did need to go.

I was watching the "Today Show", which is based in New York. Katie Couric was on the phone with another reporter. The reporter told Ms. Couric that a plane hit the tower, and Ms. Couric said something like..."Surely not, surely you're wrong. I'm sure this was an accident". Then another plane and another attack only this one was live on TV. That is when I think everyone got a sense that this was not an accident. We were under attack, but who would do this?

In my mind I was almost making myself believe this was an accident. I couldn't even wrap the thought around my head that there were passengers on the planes. I asked Mike if he thought there were innocent people on the planes, and he looked at me dumb-founded. I didn't want to believe it, and Mike would always protect me from truths like that. For example, if there was a dead animal on the side of the road he would always say the animal was "sleeping". I knew it was dead, but with Mike saying that my mind would be at ease somehow. This time he didn't "sugar coat" anything, and that is a scary thing when you're used to being "sugar coated".

Then the Pentagon was hit and then the plane went down in Pennsylvania, and with that the feeling of severe panic sets in. Where there children on the planes? Did we know anyone on the flights? What city is going to get hit next? When is this going to stop? I was watching TV but I wanted to stop, I couldn't. It seemed like the destruction and devastation from that day went on for days, months, and years. This was the day the United States lifestyles will be forever changed. My children will never know what it was like to fly before then. But...Mike, myself, and our children will be able to tell generations to come about..."Where we were" on that day. ...Where were you?

I don't know if it was just me, but I am so glad I'm not flying all the time. I am glad I stay home with the kids, and can be there for my family at all times. I have God and my husband to thank for that.

"Big Sister, Little Sister, Red Fish, Blue Fish"

2011-07-28T19:46:00.000-05:00
I spent some time with my older sister, Kim, and her four children. She has all girls, and lost her son when he was 2. Luke died from the flu winter of 2003. Our family will forever be changed, but that doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Don't get me wrong, losing Luke was the worst thing our whole family has ever gone through. You are not supposed to have a child die first, we the parents are to go to heaven before them. But, for some reason God took Luke first. Kim and her husband, Mark, have changed, some for the better and some for the worst. But I have no idea what it is like to have your son taken away so soon, and I don't judge. But "Big Sisters" never seem to stop telling "Little Sisters" what to do.

I took my three younger children, Joe, Allie, and Sarah-Kate to Iowa to meet up with Kim and her four children. Kim is three years older than me, but I did almost everything first. I got married before she did, I had a baby before her, and I went through a major illness (which she has never gone through and I pray never will). My children are older than her children. I have a 23 year old boy, a 17 year old daughter, a daughter who is 13, and son who is 11 year old. Her girls range in ages from 13 - 4 years old. My children have put my husband and I through so much it is almost sad. But I have emotionally grown up, and learned so much from all of it. That is what Kim doesn't see, that I am a 41 year old mother, wife, and woman. And this drives me crazy!!!!!

I don't know if this is how it is with all older sisters, I am the youngest child in our family. I know Kim has a HUGE heart, and she bosses me around with the best intentions. She would never deliberately hurt me, ever. I know that, and love that about her...but sometimes she makes my head spin. She will ask me about this kid or that kid is doing, and I tell her what is going on knowing the whole time I am setting myself up for a lecture. Then it starts...."Well Kristen, you know you have to do this or that because of this or that". I don't even argue anymore, I let it slide because it isn't worth fighting about. I actually take it as a compliment, this is one of Kim's way she shows she loves me. I like to know that my sister has my back if I ever needed her. She is a very comforting thought to me. I love her and her family dearly.

Kim has these funny things she does to her kids that are very smart, but I have to laugh. For instance, if any of her children go outside for anything, they get lathered up with sunscreen. I'm not talking one sunscreen I am talking two different kinds and lots of it. She puts it on herself and her face looks like a clown for a good 5 minutes. It will truly take her about 5 minutes to rub it all in. And she does the same with her girls. This is such a routine for them that now Kim will put a bunch on their faces and not even rub it in. Her girls are getting older and she thinks they will rub it in. Little does she know that they don't. And when we were together one of her daughters laughed and said, "I'm not going to rub it in Aunt Kris. I'm going to leave them like dots so my sunburn will look cool". As an Aunt to these beautiful girls I should help them rub it in, but I can't. I just can't! I love to see Kim go berserk. So I'm laughing, and when I do Kim pops her head up to see what's going on. Then she gets mad she will say, "Kris, Rach, Tess, whoever you are just stop it!" Usually by the second wrong name we help her out and give her the correct person's name she is yelling at. Which make it all the more hysterical.

All nine of us were at dinner at a place called, "Machine Shed" in Iowa. Now keep in mind Kim lives in Chicago, and the slow country life doesn't sit well with her. We ordered our food and it took about 15 minutes to get. Fine right? Nope, at about 10 minutes she was asking where our food was. No one was in a hurry, but Kim's infamous words were said, "My kids are starting to loose it". She says that a lot!

So, finally the food comes, we are eating dinner and I get out my fancy phone that has an App for a Whoopi Cushion. I start pressing the phone and these great & loud fart noises start up. People in the restaurant are starting to give us unkind looks. My kids, myself, and 3 out of the four girls are laughing. So we blame my son, Joe, for farting. Kim has a "talkin to" with him. She is saying stuff like how her girls are impressionable and she wants them to learn how to act in a restaurant. But the sounds keep coming and we are even laughing harder because Kim's lecturing Joe on manners. All the while her kids are running from chair to chair, and Tessa's, 4, in her booster seat that is connected with her chair tips over on the side and crashes to the floor. Then Kim tells us we have to go NOW. That was probably one of the funniest things that happened on this two day trip.

I love my sister with all of my heart and feel blessed to be able to call her my sister. Her husband and daughters mean the world to me. And Luke will be waiting for us in heaven, and until then I will love him like crazy. A family wouldn't be a family if no one cared, if roles weren't established, if the younger kids weren't bossed around by the older kids, and if in the present you can all laugh about the past and then dream together about the future. God will always be my first priority and second is my husband, and then the rest of me goes to my family. We always have each others back, and are always ready to correct each others children. Because correcting our own children isn't half as fun as correcting others.

PTSD?

2011-06-23T22:04:00.000-05:00
PTSD, ever heard of it? Post-traumatic stress disorder may occur soon after a major trauma, or it can be delayed for more than 6 months after the event. When it occurs soon after the trauma, it usually gets better after 3 months. But some people have a longer-term form of PTSD, which can last for many years. The cause of PTSD is unknown, but psychological, genetic, physical, and social factors are involved. PTSD changes the body’s response to stress. It affects the stress hormones and chemicals that carry information between the nerves. Having been exposed to trauma in the past may increase the risk of PTSD.

I don't think I know one person who hasn't had some sort of traumatic event in their life. Some people think that only soldiers returning home from war experience it. But that isn't the whole truth. Yes, our courageous soldiers do experience it, but so do many "Average Joe's". The only difference is a soldier is known to have it and seek help, but the public will not. And the stigma that PTSD carries is almost shunned, especially by Americans. And to admit to having any kind of mental illness is "crazy" in the United States.

Then I wonder how the folks down in Joplin, MO will do. I know May 22, 2011 was traumatic for the victims of the tornado, but what about all the volunteers? What about the things people saw that night or the days to follow? I have only heard or read the stories of what people saw, and I wonder if they will ever be the same. Surely not! Adults and children witnessed things that were truly horrific. They saw people impaled with wooden beams, children with wounds so severe their bones where showing. Yet there was a sense of community with everyone helping each other out. Everyone there were and are heroes.

I did go down to Joplin to help with the clean up with my youngest daughter and church. Even going down there 10 days after to volunteer, changed our lives. It did effect both of us, and truthfully there is no way that it couldn't have. Seeing the homes that were demolished, the trees that were once there all gone, and the lives that were taken was unreal. I don't know how to explain it but, there was this "funk" around the area. It was what some people call a "bad vibe". Almost like you could smell the feeling of sadness and unsureness. Unsure of how they would build their lives back up and the lives of others.

Joplin is far away from being repaired. But when you listen to the stories and look into their eyes, you can see that little spark of hope. You can't live one second without hope. The citizens of Joplin will be and are going to be suffering from PTSD, and it is our duty as Christians to help out some way or another. We are told by Jesus to be salt and light. We have to be gracious like the Lord to the victims of the tornado now and in the future. So if you will please take 5-10 minutes out of your day and pray for healing. There needs to be healing in Joplin, and also in the surrounding areas. We need not be anxious about anything, but in prayer with everything.

All I can do is volunteer and pray for Joplin, and I so want to do more. This whole disaster has changed my life. Now I seem to be more cautious when there are storms or tornado watches. I don't go outside to see the sky when the tornado sirens go off. I have a survival pack and plan for my family if we were to ever go through something like that. I strongly recommend that for everyone.

Perception

2011-05-29T20:49:00.000-05:00
When I started this Blog on Saturday May 21, 2011 I was feeling real sorry for myself. I wrote things like, "What is a person to do when their limit is reached?" I think that is my favorite saying, I am always wondering what my limit is. I literally count out how many "bad things" have happened to me and my family. Honestly, I rarely ever count out how many "good things" have happened. Why is that? I think it is because it is much easier to knock ourselves down than it is to build ourselves up.

Did you know every time someone says a negative statement towards you, it takes 21 positive statements just to wipe that one mean one out. I can see football coaches yelling at their players. How they hold the player's face mask, get nose to nose with the kid, and in front of all the players start yelling, screaming at the top of his lungs, and spitting on the player while foaming at the mouth like a wild dog with rabies. I would say that is pretty negative. Now does that coach have to turn around and say 21 things that player did good that day? If he doesn't will that child go home and hurt himself? All left up for speculation.

I do know that we are all human, including parents. And there are those times we catch ourselves acting like our parents, even though we said throughout our whole entire teenage years we would never "be" like them. Now I find myself giving the most wisest wisdom that I learned from my parents, and trying to teach it to my children. Now I'm no idiot, I see their little blank faces, I know that they have mentally "checked out", and it drives me as crazy as it drove my parents. Rumor around the Hansan Household I hear is that our children are saying when they grow up and are parents they aren't going to be like us. All I can think of is, "SCORE! WE MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!"

As a parent I certainly do not claim to know everything. I am really only doing this whole "Parent-Thing" by the Grace of God. Ever heard of the, "Power of the Praying Parent"? If you haven't I strongly recommend the book by Stormie Omartian. We are borrowing our children from the Lord, and it is our job to teach them God's way. This is what we want our children to learn first, and if they leave the path that they were walking on with God. Our children have the tools to know how to jump back on it, and they know God's grace and forgiveness. The past is in the past, and it is wiped away, and you are renewed. Thank You Jesus Christ our Savior

You Can't Always Get What You Want

2011-05-14T22:24:00.000-05:00
Out of my four children three of them have blond hair and blue eyes. Only Sarah-Kate has brown hair and brown eyes like myself. If I remember correctly back in school, brown characteristics where the dominant genes. If that is true, then what the heck happened to my family? Mike has blue eyes and when he was a kid he had blond hair, but it turned brown (and now gray). I take this whole "gene" thing as a sign that I am NOT a dominant "gene" in this house.

I don't mean, "Boo Hoo, my family doesn't need me". Because trust me they do. When I worked full time, Mike was in charge of dinner. And it was a known fact the kids would be eating either frozen pizza, mac-n-cheese from a box, or spaghetti. We are now to the point we can't see, eat, smell, or even look at spaghetti anymore. I am just giving Mike a hard time. He really is a great Dad and in his defense he did ask me to write down some recipes for him. I just never did it.

Currently I'm not working because in the beginning of February I fell on the ice in our driveway. I fell backward and smacked the back of my head on the driveway, bad. I suffered a severe concussion, amnesia for almost 3 days, and had to go on a leave of absence at work. I ended up in speech therapy, therapy that helps with dizziness, I don't remember the month of February and most of March, numbers, days, and simple tasks are very challenging. I have what is called - Post Concussion Syndrome. I have never heard of this, but there is such a thing.

I ended up losing my job because I wasn't there a year yet and didn't qualify for FMLA. When the HR dept. called me to let me know I couldn't come back I just happened to be in speech therapy. I was devastated and started crying hysterically. My speech therapist is the one who told me about this, that is the only reason I know. I loved my job, I planned on retiring from Freightquote.com. I didn't need to look for another job, I was set. It is a great company to work for. I honestly loved everything about it, everything. But they couldn't hold my position so what could I do? Nothing.

I still have memory loss, it's very scary. My family and friends will tell me I did or say something but I won't remember any of it. The kids at first were getting a bit irritated with me because they would tell me their plans or something, and then 5 minutes later they would have to tell me again. They quickly found how it was beneficial for them too. If they got in trouble earlier in the day I would forget, so no punishment for them. They used that to their advantage often. I felt bad that everyone was getting frustrated with me, but honestly I had no idea why they were getting frustrated. I lost my short term memory, if they told me I would forget seconds later.

In my daily prayers I ask God to heal me. It is a fear of mine that I will stay like this. I have my degree in Communication, and now it is hard to finish a complete sentence. I am not as quick witted as I used to be. I have lost confidence in myself. I don't let anyone know this because this has gone on so long that I don't think anyone wants to hear about it anymore. That is OK, I don't want to live with it anymore. I do have peace in God, and I have to do my part and God will handle ALL of it.

So Blessed, I just have to except it

2011-05-10T18:14:00.000-05:00
Have you ever sat back when you are home alone and there was complete silence? Look around your house, reflecting on all the stuff you have, the stuff your kids have, or the stuff your husband has? Well, today I made myself do that. I stopped what I was doing, no distractions for me, no more static. Because when you are in constant motion you don't have time to get a good look into your life. There is no way to see how the Lord has blessed you. There's no time to feel anything like sorrow, purpose, grief, sadness, shame, guilt, or even happiness. Or all the other feelings you have buried deep down inside us.

Those "feelings" are so hard to accept, hard to deal with, and very hard get to a healthy place with. I have been very lucky in my life to have been able to come in contact with some of the most wise and giving people in the area. Some are therapists, pastors, business owners, and authors. They have taught me so much about the difference between feelings vs. truth. Trust me there is a BIG difference.

Feelings come and go. I could wake up in the morning and feel sad, then get a great phone call in the afternoon and feel happy. They are up and down. I try not make a major or minor decision on how I feel. It is very challenging for me to do. But if I do, there is a good chance it is going to be a bad choice.

Feelings come from your past experiences, good or bad, that is what makes you who you are. Some pasts are not good, then it is important to seek help in a solid therapist, pastor, or Christian support group. It will help to figure out why you feel this unlovable, stupid, why you are in this abusive relationship. Don't be emotionally handicapped anymore.

It helps to get a piece of paper out and draw a line down the middle, one side name "Feeling" the other "Truth". Step back and pray to Jesus and ask Him for help with this. He will help open up your heart, I know first hand he will. On that piece of paper write a feeling word, "less of a woman" (for me). Then pray... truth is, I am doing what God tells women to do in the Bible. I am taking care of my family, I encourage, I'm devoted to my husband, and most of all Jesus is the King of our house. That was just an example on how to do it.

We are saved by the blood of Jesus, if you "feel" you are not getting love from your spouse or significant other, it doesn't matter. Jesus loves YOU so much that he died for you, YES YOU!! He died for Kristen Hansan, Mike Hansan, Nathan Hansan, Sarah-Kate Hansan, Allie Hansan, Joseph Hansan, Philip Severson, Pat Severson, Kim Melancon, Mark Melancon, Rachel Melancon, Claire Melancon, Gracie, Melancon, Luke Melancon, Tessa Melancon, Judy Hansan, Donnie Hansan, Sandy Stout, Randy Stout, Dylan Johnson, Tanner Johnson, and many many more. Thank you Lord.