By His Grace

My Father's Legacy

2016-07-11T18:25:00.000-04:00

Today my father would have been 88. This is the first birthday we’ll be spending without him here on earth. He was called Home January 29^th of this year. It’s been a very difficult journey trying to get used to life without the physical presence of this wonderful man in our lives. Each first so far has been extremely challenging; Easter, his favorite holiday, Father’s Day, and now his birthday. Never before has “To thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears”, in the Hail Holy Queen meant so much. As Father’s Day was approaching last month I wanted to write some thoughts about my dad and found a note I had written two years ago after visiting him on that Father’s Day. It speaks to the legacy he has left which I am so very grateful for.

Father’s Day, 2014

Watching my dad decline, seeing him sitting in his wheelchair, head lowered because he's just too tired to sit up and stay awake, I wonder, where did this strong man go? This strong, confident, joyful, boisterous full-of- life man, always so quick to give a smile and tell a story. And why did I expect he'd be that man til my dying day? Did I really believe he'd stay young and strong?

These past five years I have watched him decline. I’ve watched his body try to take over and watched him fight back. A fighter he is. My daddy is strong, brave, courageous.

We used to hit heads a lot in my younger years. Oh how I would argue with him. I didn't want to do things his way, didn't want his advice. But now how I treasure the lessons he taught me. I wonder if I let him know before his mind began to slip away. I hope he knows…

I hope he knows that I did listen I did hear. I did observe his way of life, his integrity, his generosity, and most importantly his faith. And when I put into practice the most important lessons he taught me, life is much better. A plaque that hung in our home when I was growing up stated “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” And boy did my father believe it to his core and practice it. I’d laugh at his convictions at times. Thought they were too extreme. Now I have the same ones. Others think I'm too extreme. With joy I can say my father taught me.

My parents had me at the ages of 41 & 42. As a child I’d watch my siblings have their babies and how much joy they brought to my parents lives. I’d wonder if my parents would still be around to see my kiddos. (Young person’s mind!) God has blessed me with 21 years of parenting and my parents know and enjoy every one of my children. My dad even came to meet our youngest in the hospital in a wheelchair! I don’t take lightly the blessing of the years I have had with my parents. Especially these past 5 when my dad really began to decline. I’m so grateful for every day with them on this earth.

These days are fleeting. Each visit my daddy slouches a little more. Each time I leave I hug him a little harder. Make sure he hears me tell him how much I love him. Bless him. Each holiday or birthday I'm grateful for another one.

Two years later I faced the first Father’s Day and now his birthday without him. Today while my heart broke wide open again because it was so incredibly hard to face the reality that he is not physically here, it is a day to be brave and focus on what I am thankful for in regard to my dad. To focus on the blessing instead of the loss. To look to the positive instead of the negative feelings I have, as he always taught me to do.

The blessings: I was given 2 more years with him. I was able to spend more days with him in which he was less confused. I had moments with him that were precious. One day shortly before his death he held my hand so hard I thought it might break! He kept telling me over and over, "It’s just so good to see you." I didn’t want that moment to end. I’m thankful for the grace that moved me to go see him his last day when I had planned to wait a few days. Such a gift spending his last day on earth with him. I am full of gratitude for the example of love he and my mother have shown. They would have been married 65 years this coming September. They are a true example of Christ-like love, never giving up, remaining best friends through all the ups and downs. And in 64+ years there are a LOT of ups and downs to share!! That love spilled over into raising their 6 children. Their model of raising a family was completely in line with God's order and plan for a family. My parents respected each others God-given roles and encouraged each other in them. Most importantly, although right up there next to their example of love, I'm thankful for the gift of faith.

There was a theme running through each eulogy my siblings and I wrote for my dad. The theme was how much his faith impacted our lives. The most important job in the vocation of parenting is to raise our children in faith. To help them attain Heaven. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says this; "2222 Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God's law." and "2197 The fourth commandment opens the second table of the Decalogue. It shows us the order of charity. God has willed that, after him, we should honor our parents to whom we owe life and who have handed on to us the knowledge of God. We are obliged to honor and respect all those whom God, for our good, has vested with his authority." It goes on to state that "parents have a grave responsibility to give a good example to their children." My father handed down this knowledge of God well. He was an excellent example and he taught us well that we need to fulfill God's law.

My dad learned these things from his mother. She was a woman devoted to prayer. A few days after my father's death I learned that he had my grandmother’s prayer book, Rosaries and medals in his possession all these years. It brought great joy to me. I cherished this as most of my childhood memories of my grandmother surround her perpetual prayer life, always holding that prayer book and Rosary. She was never without them. I was able to use her Rosary one morning after my mom shared this treasure trove with me. I cannot express how wonderful it was to pray using my grandmothers Rosary beads. What a gift! This legacy of faith has been passed down through the generations. No easy feat as each passing generation has squeezed God out of the picture a little more. My faith has been formed greatly by my father, and his mother. This is the best legacy a father could leave his children. And I do believe when his Creator called him Home my daddy heard the words “Well done good and faithful servant.”

Happy Birthday to the first man I ever loved. And the first one who loved me. Kiss God for us all!

Worth Revisiting:Things that Seem Insignificant

2016-03-23T17:22:00.003-04:00

I began this post last spring, in the midst of a rough week when the whole family had a terrible respiratory virus. I have since forgotten that I started the post. It's interesting that I came across it today, as I just watched Mom's Night Out last night. Boy could I relate to the main character, who felt overwhelmed by her life as a mom and saddened by realizing her dream of being a mother wasn't exactly what she thought it would be. I completely commiserated with her on so many levels. I laughed and I cried because I knew exactly how she felt. The huge message in the movie, which all moms need to hear, is that our job is IMPORTANT!! God created us for this purpose.

I do believe everything we do for our children, our husbands and our homes means something to God; something bigger than we can imagine! It's just hard to stay focused on that at times...

With that, here are my thoughts from the midst of our sick week in April...

Sometimes I get so caught up in the seemingly insignificant tasks of my day and start to wonder, "is this it?" The mundane jobs of a mother, the time consuming tasks that appear pointless can make a mom to wonder. This week as my family has been sick, I keep finding myself feeling down and asking God, "is THIS all you created me for? Is this all my mind will ever be used for?" I seek these answers as I spend my days dosing medicine every 4 hours, refilling juice glasses, making soup, cleaning up dirty tissues, taking temperatures, making sure everyone is receiving enough fluid intake-and monitoring the output as well (fun!), keeping an eye out for dehydration. I wonder these things when my 3 year old finally feels better and is back to being little miss sunshine in the wee hours, when I have barely had any sleep. Of course I am relieved she feels better, but could we sleep a little?! Where did she find her energy?! I keep find myself singing the Steven Curtis Chapman song, More to This Life.

"There's more to this life than living and dying, more than just trying to make it through the day..."

A few verses end with the words, "life just goes on." That is the way it feels sometimes, doesn't it? Life just goes on. Yet, if I keep singing I will be reminded,

"So where do we start to find every part of what makes this life complete?

If we turn our eyes to Jesus we'll find life's true beginning is there at the cross where He died."

So, even though I wonder what else I can do in THIS life, I am reminded it's about Eternity. My vocation as a mother is about far more than all these seemingly insignificant tasks, which are actually pretty important to God. It's about raising our children for Eternity. And that's a pretty significant vocation. When I do ask God these questions He reminds me, "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40) That includes wiping little noses!

Saint Martin de Porres always comes to mind when I struggle with the mundane. He joyfully completed any menial task he could within his Dominican monastery. He was known as "The Saint of the Broom". I often wish I could go about my tasks more joyfully like he did.

I know God did in fact create me for other things, it's just that caring for my children is my first and most important order of business.

Before I close I want to say that I am keenly aware of the fact that while I complain about my day-to-day responsibilities, there are mamas out there who would do anything to have their child on this earth still, to do anything for, as well as women who would give anything just to be able to have a child. I know a few and I always remember them when I begin to complain. And I try to embrace the task with a little more gratitude. And mamas, I hold you in my heart and I pray for you.

Mamas, let's remember that our job is important to God, the One who made us Moms! May we, by His grace, see the significance in all we do for our families.

God bless,
Jen

Linking up with Theologyisaverb and Reconciledtoyou for #WorthRevisit

A New Addition

2015-07-23T16:37:00.001-04:00

After a good bit of thinking and planning I have decided to separate my reflective posts from my homeschool posts. I will still blog here but I'd like to introduce you to my homeschool blog, Teaching Toward Eternity. There you will find ideas on homeschooling, teaching our faith, some practical resources for homeschooling and hopefully some encouragement. I hope you'll join me!
Blessings,
Jen

A Closer Walk With Jesus

2015-04-02T09:20:00.000-04:00

Holy week, especially the Triduum, has always been such a special time for me. I think it's fair to say it is my favorite part of the Liturgical year. As a little girl we spent much of Holy Week at our church. Although it is such a solemn time, as a child I found it to be a comforting time as well. Maybe it was simply because of all the time spent at church! As an adult I find it to be a time where I can experience a closer walk with Jesus. I wish throughout the year I could feel the intensity of His love and my need for Him the way I do throughout Holy Thursday and Good Friday. Life gets to be so busy and it is hard to "be still". Lent, especially Holy Week, gives me that time to pause and ponder and reflect.

When I walk the Stations of The Cross on Good Friday I remember what Jesus did, for me personally. To focus on His sufferings in such a significant way brings me to my knees. During the Lenten retreat I attended, Father Brannen mentioned how St. Augustine spoke of life revolving between two questions; How can God love me so much to go through this for me? and, How can I sin and hurt Him so much when He did this for me? These two questions speak well to how I feel when I look upon The Cross every Good Friday. Father Brannen also reminded us that the nails couldn't hold Him on the cross. His love held Him there. This is love like nothing we can even comprehend.

My prayer for us all is to move through the next few days, taking time to be still, and to really let His immense love for us sink in.

Lenten Reflections

2015-04-01T09:01:00.000-04:00

Things I have been pondering this Lent

I haven’t written any “reflections” in a while because I like to give them time, consideration and prayer before I put my thoughts out there. But for today I am going to do sort of a quick snippets type of post on some different things I have been pondering and reflecting on throughout Lent; much like the bloggers who do “7 Quick Takes”, I suppose. Here are my 4 quick (or not so quick!) reflections!

For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

Matthew 6:20-21 tells us, “but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”

I have heard this verse all of my life. I have always understood it to mean that I need to focus on things that are pleasing to God, things that are eternal, not temporal. But this hit me so much harder when my husband and I were discussing a message we heard recently; What we are attached to we will be with when Jesus comes back for us. God will give us what we love in the end. I want to make sure I (as well as my family) am attaching myself to things that are eternal; attaching myself to God, not worldly things that will go away. When He comes for me I want to be with Him, not left behind. We choose our path. We choose, with our God-given free will where we will spend eternity. When He comes back to abolish sin I do not want to be attached to sin because then I can’t be with Him. I have prayed over the years to be less attached to worldly things and have seen God take many of those desires from my heart. I am so grateful and continue to pray that He will create a clean heart in me. This isn’t an easy thing though, to let go of our worldly things and desires. We have to ask God for the grace to desire it and then grace to actually do it. We have to allow God to change our hearts.

It’s really about Eternity!

At the beginning of Lent I attended a retreat and heard Father Brannen speak. It was incredibly uplifting and such a wonderful blessings to attend. I have a notebook filled with many notes that I scribbled away while listening. I wanted to remember so much of what he had to say, but I believe what struck me the most was when he said, “God answers our prayers based on our ETERNAL well being”. WOW! Entirely different perspective! I have always known that on some level, but when he spoke of it, it hit me and sunk in deep. Of course He does! And I thank Him for doing that! Our life here on earth is just NOT about remaining on earth. It is ALL about ETERNITY! God gives us what we need here so that we can live fully with Him in Heaven when we pass from this life. He wants us there, and the trials and sufferings here on earth are to refine us; to remind us of our need for HIM. Through the trials and sufferings we lean more into Him. We rely upon Him more. In turn we have a relationship with Him. This is the first step to a relationship with Him in Heaven. We can’t live consumed by things that are NOT of God here and expect to just join Him in Heaven with an unclean heart. We are called to die to self, to share God’s love and sew good things here on earth and in turn reap a harvest in Heaven. Last week’s Gospel reading speaks to this.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant be also; if any one serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12:24-26. In his homily from that same day, Father Barron spoke of this, saying, “if I learn to give my life away as lavishly as he gave His life away, then I will produce much fruit.”

So if I die to myself and embrace my sufferings, understanding that God will answer my prayers based on my eternal well being, I can then let go of the worldly influences in my life and live for Him, doing His will, living for Eternity!

Martha! I am so very Martha!

"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things…” Luke 10:41

{Preface here for my non-Catholic friends; before we take a seat in the church pew we genuflect toward the tabernacle. The tabernacle holds The Consecrated Eucharist. As Catholics we believe that during the Consecration (part of the Mass) Jesus becomes truly present in the Eucharist. So we genuflect out of reverence and respect for Our Lord. Going a step further, “Eucharistic Adoration is a very privileged (special) time of prayer. This time of prayer takes place in a Catholic church or chapel. An ordained priest places the Most Blessed Sacrament within a sacred vessel known as a monstrance. The monstrance containing the Real Presence of Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament is then place on the altar in exposition for the faithful people of God to adore Jesus.” (source) When we walk into the church for Eucharistic Adoration we do a double genuflection, kneeling on both knees and bowing our head before entering or leaving the pew.}

My 15 year old has been getting us on track to attend daily Mass a few times a week. One of the three drivers in the house usually takes a turn. I will admit I am somewhat ashamed that it has taken my daughter to get me to Mass other than on a Sunday or Holy day. I also feel somewhat ashamed that it has seemed a burden at times. But I am grateful for the blessing of it once I am there. I am very grateful my girl has gotten me on track! The week before last we attended morning Mass as a family to celebrate the feast day of St. Joseph. I left the house feeling completely frazzled. It is so hard to get my family out the door on a Sunday for Mass, let alone a weekday. I felt irritated and flustered. We walked into the church and I began my usual gaze upon the pews to see where we could fit our whole family. I found a pew, began walking toward it and during my genuflection was more focused on someone waving hello to me. I didn’t want to be rude so I smiled and made my way into the pew. I knelt down to pray and see, there on the altar, The Blessed Sacrament. I completely missed that Jesus was right there on the altar when I walked in. I have always felt I have more of a Martha heart, worried and distracted with many things. Although I’d much rather have a Mary heart, focused on my Savior. This particular morning was a perfect example of this. I was concerned with many things and completely missed Jesus on the altar. Now, I don’t want to be too legalistic and focus on how sinful I am that I didn’t get down on both knees. I believe God is bigger than that, but I did feel I lacked respect because I was paying attention to other things. I felt so convicted in my heart at that moment. I shook my head thinking my goodness, Jesus could be sitting on the steps at the altar in full human form and I’d probably do the same thing! This got me thinking of how much I miss seeing Him in my everyday life. Thankfully His mercy is so great. Thankfully He will still love me in spite of the fact that I am so very distracted. And thankfully He will continue to pursue me. Fittingly, our word of the month is “Mercy”.

How would I have treated Jesus?

A recent homily really prompted me to think about what I would have been like if I lived in the time Jesus walked the earth. The priest asked us to reflect on whether we’d act the way we feel now about Jesus or would we act the way the Romans did. He went on to remind us that when we are indifferent now, it’s as if we are standing by watching them crucify Him and doing nothing. When we sin we are taking part in the crucifixion. I have heard this question in the past and it brought these questions back to mind; would I have been one of the ones weeping, begging them to not crucify Jesus? Or would I have been one of those who didn’t believe and screamed with the crowds, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”? My previous reflection makes me sad to think maybe I would NOT have believed. Maybe I would not have trusted His words. Though my heart wants to believe I would have been there weeping, crying out to stop the madness of it all, wiping His face, helping Him carry His cross, and cleaning up the blood He lost, knowing He lost it for me. Something to really think about…and I haven’t stopped…

Focusing on Blessings and Growing in Virtue

2015-02-24T15:48:00.002-05:00

I have never been a big fan of New Years resolutions. (I do realize it’s February but stay with me!) I can never seem to keep those resolutions. It can be so defeating to begin something big at the start of a fresh year and then “fail” at whatever change I have made. A year is a L O N G time! Plus there are SO many things I want to work on, how do I decide which ONE thing to work on all year through? Why do we feel such a need to start fresh on the first day of a new year, or even the start of a new month or week? I am so grateful God’s Mercies are new EACH MORNING! We are offered a fresh start each and every day! That just gives me such comfort.

Something we like to do all year as a family is to keep a Blessings Jar. Basically this is a simple jar that each family member places slips of papers into now and then describing how they feel blessed. On New Year’s Eve we read all the blessings. It’s really neat to remember things from earlier in the year that we have since forgotten. We skipped this past year and decided to do it again this year because we missed reading those blessings on New Year’s Eve. I also wanted to do something more, but not those New Year’s resolutions! I have been seeing some different things about a virtues jar. I was intrigued. That’s it! We can work on all kinds of virtues! Shortly after this thought a friend shared her virtue jar and gave me a virtue to work on this year. Between her suggestions and a little research on virtues we were up and running by the beginning of February. I know, a month late, but hey, the year does have 11 more months!

The way we are using our virtue jar is by choosing a new one each month to six weeks. There are so many virtues and I feel like that may be a good amount of time to study our virtue and work on it. I have printed out a number of virtues on slips of paper and placed them into our jar.

I used different colors based on the main virtue. I have many virtues that branch off of each of the four cardinal Virtues; Prudence, Fortitude, Justice and Temperance, and the three theological virtues; Faith, Hope and Charity.

As each person takes one out, their virtue goes up onto a chalkboard hanging in the kitchen (if they want) so we can all help each other out along the way. They have the option of keeping that private. We discuss how everyone is doing with their virtue about once a week during dinner. About a month in I am amazed at how much you can learn about virtues. And now I want to just keep learning. This site has been extremely helpful.

I have also had a strong desire for the whole family to focus on one word each month throughout the year. Many people are doing the “One Word Challenge” where they choose a word to focus on all year. My sister especially encouraged me to try this when I read her blog post about it. But my attention span must just be too short! The idea of one word the entire year is too long for me as well, but I do love the concept.

To do this I am going to have the word front and center where we can see it each day to be reminded of it. I also will have quotes or Scripture verses based on that word in a little frame next to our word. I began with Love since it was February. Love on a deeper level. I wanted us all to work on serious Christ-like love. I printed two Mother Teresa quotes and used them in the frames on either side of some blocks that I created with the word "Love" on.

The blocks were easy to make. I simply cut some squares of paper with my 1&1/2 inch paper punch and used Mod Podge to glue them to 1&1/2 inch blocks. I just glued the papers to each side and the tops. Then once they were dry I used pretty letter stickers to create the word Love. Easy peasy!

So, our plan to grow this year is to focus on our blessings, work on our virtues and to live out a new word each month. Hopefully, with His Grace, we'll keep the momentum going.

If you find yourself discouraged about some resolutions you may have made and have not kept, rejoice in the fact that God’s mercies are new each morning, and begin again!

Blessings to you,

Jen

Life Through a Different Lens

2014-11-29T20:07:00.001-05:00

Every now and then I am given the opportunity to see life through a different lens. I have experienced some difficult and even scary circumstances that have compelled me to view life differently. These times challenge my faith, present me with a different perspective and allow me to draw closer to God. There have been tragedies among family members and dear friends, my own miscarriage, and health scares with my children, just to name a few. I think the scariest time of waiting as a mom, was four years ago. We were told that our newborn had a hole in her heart. (This actually was rivaled by some scares with our first daughter years ago, when we had a lymph node removed to see what it was. Thankfully it was nothing, but that waiting was hard.) Back to four years ago when we needed to wait to follow up with a cardiologist when the baby was two weeks old. The hospital could tell us nothing else. We left with complete uncertainty and had no choice but to wait and pray. My husband had to leave the day after we came home from the hospital for training for a new job. For those two weeks I was forced to choose faith in God or complete despair. It literally hurt to breathe thinking there was something horrific going on with my baby’s heart. I needed to choose the faith part, if for no other reason than to be strong for my other kids. The short version of that story is that she thankfully was fine, and the hole closed on its own. I was praising God for His goodness, that our baby was OK. Would I have felt that He was so good if she didn’t end up being OK? Honestly, I am not sure I would have felt that back then. I hope that I would have though, because He is good always. Those two weeks gave me a different lens in which to view my life through. The lens in which your life could look completely different than what you had hoped for. To view what is truly precious and important in life, and to pause and really embrace those gifts.

In October of this year I was blessed to have another lens change with a health scare of my own. Yes, I did say blessed! I went for a routine mammogram and ended up needing a biopsy. The entire process from the mammogram to the clear results took only a short five days. But in those five days I felt so many things. Each time I was tempted toward fear, God faithfully showed up with a Scripture verse, a song on the radio, the Sunday Mass readings, and even the images that filled my Facebook news-feed, to remind me that He was with me; there was nothing to fear. Why do I say it was a blessing to have faced the possibility that I may have had cancer? It was a blessing because I was surrounded by love of family and friends. I was completely covered in prayer and carried through that scary week by those prayers. I was able to see what is genuinely important in my life. And guess what? The “To-Do” list that rules my days, and the messy house that I am usually upset over, did NOT show up on the radar of importance. Not even once. What did show up was my family, love, and spending time together, remembering how much we love each other, holding each other a little closer, smiling a little longer…you get the idea! But most of all, the constant (and I do mean constant!) conversation with God, Mother Mary and the saints. Mary and the saints were faithful in their prayers for me, as always. I am sure my grandma was up there praying too! I needed to decide to live in the moment, not worrying about tomorrow. This was a chance to draw closer to God and trust Him with my life and my future. The morning of the biopsy, as I walked through the hospital doors I felt panic and I prayed. I felt God give me a sense of comfort as the words, “All will be well” came to mind. It wasn’t an audible voice but I know it was God. I didn’t feel like the message necessarily meant I would be cancer free, but more of a sense that all would be well no matter what. I was assured that God is in my future whatever the circumstance. While I was waiting in the hospital I was able to gaze upon the cross in the waiting room. What a blessing to see it there. It brought great comfort.

After I received my results that everything was fine I heard things like God is so good, He is so merciful. Of course I agree 100%, but wouldn’t He have been those things if I had cancer? Yes He would, because He is good all the time. Would I have so easily been able to proclaim it if my results were different? I hope and pray I would have. I know a few brave fighters who still believe God is good even though they are fighting a horrible battle. I hope if I am ever truly faced with it I will still cling to that truth.

What if we could be thankful in the uncertain times knowing God has a perfect plan? What about being thankful for the lessons, even though they are hard. I did ask God for a deeper trust in Him years ago, and remembered that request as I was going through this. I also surrendered my will to His a long time ago. I can’t take it back. He will give what we ask for. We can’t choose how He gives us the answers. But if we lean into Him in those times we will receive His grace and strength to see it through. He is refining us.

~Ann Voskamp says it well here~

As I reflect on the things I am thankful for, this year the biggest blessings seem to be those that come out of the scary times; the chance to view life through the lens of what is essential, and embracing the opportunity to have a closer walk with God, to trust Him and love Him more. Of course I am thankful for my health, that I am OK. I am also thankful for the chance to realize and remember all those who did not get the same result as me, and the honor to pray for those who suffer.

Praying we can all thank Him no matter what and remember He is good all the time!

Trusting in His grace,

Jen

Some songs that have inspired me in the unsure times,

He is With Us

How Great is Our God The line that really struck me here was, “And time is in His hands”

How He Loves

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

God is Good Always

2014-11-26T20:35:00.000-05:00

During the season of Thanksgiving we naturally tend to focus on the blessings that surround us. In addition to being thankful for the many, many blessings in my life (too many to list here!), I am also thankful for the moments where God reels me in and helps me to see things in myself that need work. Not too long ago I was having a moment of absolute frustration and disappointment in the way some of my kids were acting. I noticed a very stark difference in their behavior when things weren’t going their way and when things were looking up for them. When they are upset about something they grumble and pout and treat me like their worst enemy. But this attitude quickly dissolves into a simple, “I love you so much” when things start going their way. I have always found this to be so disheartening. It always makes me want to say, “Wow, you love me so easily when you get what you want?”

My recent awakening was in regard to why this bothers me. It bothers me because this is how I have acted toward God at times. YIKES! It is so easy to love God when He blesses me and when I feel like things are just great, when life is going well, and everything is manageable, but so much harder to trust and love Him fully in the tough times. The truth of the matter is God is good ALWAYS! God knows what is best for me. Even while I wonder what He will reveal in the times of waiting for answers, or when I wonder why things may be the way they are in any given circumstance, I can trust that He is in control, He knows what’s best, He sees the whole picture and He will use it for good. He is my God, His plan is perfect and He is trustworthy. He is worthy and all deserving of our praise no matter what is going on in our world. So today I am thankful for the gentle reminder that God is good all the time.

Wishing you a happy and blessed Thanksgiving~

Jen

Things That Seem Insignificant

2014-09-29T11:59:00.000-04:00

"There's more to this life than living and dying, more than just trying to make it through the day..."

A few verses end with the words, "life just goes on." That is the way it feels sometimes, doesn't it? Life just goes on. Yet, if I keep singing I will be reminded,

"So where do we start to find every part of what makes this life complete?

If we turn our eyes to Jesus we'll find life's true beginning is there at the cross where He died."

Tobit's Dog: A Book Review

2014-07-14T21:35:00.000-04:00

Have you ever reached the end of a book to find yourself feeling a little sad that it was finished; as if you were saying goodbye to good friends? That is how I felt as I closed Tobit’s Dog, by Michael Nicholas Richard.

Tobit’s Dog is a novel based on the beautiful Old Testament book of Tobit. I had never read Tobit in its entirety, and decided to do so before reading the novel. As I moved on to Tobit’s Dog, I quickly discovered how creatively and thoughtfully the author brought the Biblical book into the Twentieth Century.

The story is about the Messager family (a black family living in North Carolina during the Great Depression) and their many trials, sufferings, and joys. I immediately connected with Tobit Messager, his wife Anna, his son Tobias and of course his faithful companion Okra.

Tobit was a hard working man of faith. He was respected by those who knew him well; however being a black, Catholic man in the south didn’t make life easy for him. After losing a good job Tobit made his living by finding things at the dump to fix up and sell. Anna cleaned houses to help. Hardships continued to find Tobit, including an unjust arrest and blindness.

One day Ace Redbone, a traveling musician and distant cousin showed up to visit the Messager family. Okra could sense his extraordinary presence before he even arrived. Ace seemed to have a calming effect on everyone he met. He convinced Tobit to allow him to take Tobias to collect a debt owed to him from another cousin. Anna was reluctant to allow Tobias to take this trip, but relented due to Okras trust of this man and Tobit’s strong feeling that God sent Ace to help them in this way.

Tobias, Okra and Ace set out for quite a journey before finding their cousin Jubal, his wife Rose and daughter Sarah. Sarah lost three fiancés and she and her family carried the heaviness of what others spoke of as a curse upon her. While Ace and Tobias were in town Ace began to unravel some mysteries and restoration began to take place in Jubal’s home. Clarity, healing and even miracles followed in Tobit’s home.

While the ugliness of the racism of that period wove its way through the pages, making a few parts difficult to read, it did not outweigh the appeal of the story. The links between the Biblical story and the novel intrigued me. With each page I loved this book more and more. The final chapters had me smiling. Tobit’s great faith saw him through the adversities he faced. True to the book in Scripture, Tobits Dog is a story that reminds us that God takes care of those who love Him and live a just life. Tobit’s Dog, just like the book of Tobit, did not disappoint.

· You can find an explanation of why the Catholic Bible has different books here.

Refresher on Simplifying and Refocusing

2014-01-13T16:26:00.000-05:00

Here we are in the second week of January and I have seen a constant flow of blog posts about New Year's resolutions and new things to try in the new year. While I really like setting goals, I really don't care for making New Year's Resolutions. They rarely, if ever, last and it just gives me a feeling of defeat and failure. I prefer to look to each new week as a fresh start. Each new month I love seeing the fresh calendar page, nice and clean. Lamentations reminds us that God's mercies are new each morning, so why would we wait for January First to roll around each year, to start fresh?

In an effort to regroup and remind myself of the goals I began at the start of the school year, I came here to reread my post on goals and simplifying. I thought I'd re-post as January seems to be a time to restart, reboot and refresh. You can find the post here.

Gods blessings to you in the new year~
Jen

To Be Like Mary

2013-12-02T10:58:00.001-05:00

"Mother of Life" by Nellie Edwards

This time of year especially makes me reflect on the powerful example our Mother in Heaven is. If only I could say "YES!" the way she did, to whatever The Father asks.

The Annunciation

*In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the House of David; and the virgin's name was Mary.* *He went in and said to her, 'Rejoice, you who enjoy God's favour! The Lord is with you.'* *She was deeply disturbed by these words and asked herself what this greeting could mean,* *but the angel said to her, 'Mary, do not be afraid; you have won God's favour.* *Look! You are to conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you must name him Jesus.* *He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his ancestor David;* *he will rule over the House of Jacob for ever and his reign will have no end.'* *Mary said to the angel, 'But how can this come about, since I have no knowledge of man?'* *The angel answered, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will cover you with its shadow. And so the child will be holy and will be called Son of God.* *And I tell you this too: your cousin Elizabeth also, in her old age, has conceived a son, and she whom people called barren is now in her sixth month,* *for nothing is impossible to God.'* *Mary said, 'You see before you the Lord's servant, let it happen to me as you have said.' And the angel left her.* *Luke 1:26-38*


The Visitation
My soul magnifies the Lord And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior; Because He has regarded the lowliness of His handmaid; For behold, henceforth all generations shall call me blessed; Because He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name; And His mercy is from generation to generation on those who fear Him. He has shown might with His arm, He has scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart. He has put down the mighty from their thrones, and has exalted the lowly. He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich He has sent away empty. He has given help to Israel, his servant, mindful of His mercy Even as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his posterity forever. Luke 1:46-55




Kissing the Face of God

Now it happened that at this time Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be made of the whole inhabited world. This census -- the first -- took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria, and everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. So Joseph set out from the town of Nazareth in Galilee for Judaea, to David's town called Bethlehem, since he was of David's House and line, in order to be registered together with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child. Now it happened that, while they were there, the time came for her to have her child, and she gave birth to a son, her first-born. She wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no room for them in the living-space. Luke 2:1-7
~My prayer this Advent is to understand more more fully the true meaning of Christmas and why we celebrate our Saviors birth~

No More "Whatever"

2013-11-26T21:07:00.002-05:00

Today I attended the funeral of the brother of a dear sweet friend. I was under the impression that I was attending to support her in her loss, to help her through her pain. That, I’m realizing was only a small part. As hard as it is to attend funerals I am always touched by the pause that we take to celebrate the precious life that just left this earth for Home. It always helps me remember how short, fleeting and fragile life is. Each time I come away remembering how important my loved ones are and with a resolve to love them more, to love them better, to be kinder, slower to anger. I’m reminded that none of the day to day hassles, setbacks, or frustrations, matter. They. Just. Don't.

However I still slip right back into the mode I promise myself I won’t. I go right back to feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, annoyed and negative. I go back to lacking self control and flying off the handle over nothing, instead of focusing on how precious my children and husband are.

Today the son of the man who passed away gave the eulogy and it struck me right in my heart. He told us that the night before he lost his dad his dad told him how proud he was of him and how much he loved him. The young man’s response was "Whatever". He told us how sad he felt that "whatever" was the last word he spoke to his father and how he wished he would have responded. He urged all of us to watch what we say to each other because you never know when the words you speak may be your last words or the last words someone might hear. This young man shared his heart and deep regret over the fact that his last word to his father was “Whatever”. He said he will never forgive himself for that. {I pray he will forgive himself, because that is an incredible weight for a young man to carry and surely his father is looking down from Heaven, understanding and has already forgiven him.}

The reason this young man’s words struck me so greatly is because the word "whatever" has become a word I use TOO often. I throw that word around to my kids and husband with the full impact of disrespect it can carry. I never feel good about it yet I keep throwing it out there. What’s worse is my kids have learned it and use it. Is that the attitude I want to have? Teach my children? Express to my husband? No! It took a young man’s words to wake me up today. The word "whatever" used with malice and disrespect is banned from my home from this day forward. No more "whatever". It’s not just the word itself that matters but the attitude of the heart that it exposes. It’s something I have been asking God to change in me anyway, but his words today reinforced the need. It will take a hefty dose of His grace to exercise self control, because I know as soon as life settles back in and the frustrations build I will struggle. But He is capable and I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

I need an attitude change in many ways, but with His help and grace I can start with no more “whatever”.

God bless,

Jen

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Self-Discipline, Goals and Simplifying

2013-10-28T20:53:00.001-04:00

It has been quite some time since I have added anything to my blog. I’ve missed writing. Thousands of thoughts are running through my mind, begging to be shared! But my family always comes first and I have been working hard to make sure our school year is off to the right start.

For many of our homeschooling years I have not kept the schooling part in the forefront. I have allowed many things to interfere. I have put off planning and preparing properly because of the busyness of life, only to find complete frustration when our school day arrives and we need to “wing- it” once again. I have found myself caught in the trap of busyness. I have filled our calendar with all kinds of things. I have said yes to things even if it meant putting my children’s education (or my sanity) on the back burner. I recall color coding my calendar for each child and their many activities and events. A colorful calendar it was! I believe this “busy trap” is one that we women tend to fall into. Goodness, our society has become a 24/7 world where no one seems to know the meaning of rest anymore. My mom, who was born in 1929, used to tell us that when she was growing up she and her family would prepare their pasta (an all day event) on Saturday, so they didn’t have much work to do on Sunday. They were also not allowed to sew on Sundays. Sewing wasn’t done for pleasure, but for necessity back then. Sunday was the day of rest as it should be. Where have those days gone? I find it very difficult when our calendar is filled. I need white space on there! Our weekends that are jam-packed create Mondays that are grueling. When I feel that I need Monday to recover from the busyness of the weekend that is a red flag to me. That is when it is time to reassess, regroup and take some things out. "Mental health days" cannot trump school days!

Along the journey to find healthy ways to be the best homeschooler I can, I have realized that being a good Christian woman/mom/wife does not mean running like crazy, trying to do everything for everyone, or running our kids to every activity their hearts desire. Proverbs 14 reminds us that a wise woman builds her home. How can we build our home well if we are on empty? Proverbs 31 describes a woman of noble character. At the top of the list it states that she brings good to her husband. How we can bring good to our husbands if we are running in the rat race that our society says we should? If we live like that we have nothing left. This isn’t to say we should only be in our home. We are also told in Scripture to help others. Our children do need activities. We should be active in our community. But we don’t need to allow our calendar to dictate our life. I am learning this is a fine balance. Sometimes I have confused being a good Christian with doing many things and going non-stop. (Other Christian women do it so I must be failing if I am not.) I then forget that my family needs my first efforts not my leftovers. I believe to my core it is wise to pray about everything we are thinking about adding in to our busy life and to continually assess whether we are putting things in proper order; God, spouse, children, family, community. Sometimes we need to say no. Sometimes we need to take time to rest and refocus.

I am realizing more and more that homeschooling is not just something we do; it’s our way of life. It takes preparation, it takes time, it takes effort and it takes focus. And sometimes it takes saying no to certain things. A while back, as my sister listened to me express frustration over having so many things to do, and feeling guilty for ever saying no to anyone, she reminded me of Nehemiah 6:3, “…I am doing a good work and cannot come down.” She encouraged me that what I am doing (homeschooling my children) IS a good work and it is okay that I don’t want to interrupt it; that I need to put homeschooling first. I tend to be my own worst enemy when it comes to this because I am so easily distracted and feel that I need to answer every phone call, email, text, etc immediately. Newsflash to self, the world can still go on around me if I don’t jump on everything the minute it comes to my attention!

I have been bound and determined to have a good school year in which I feel that we are thriving not just merely surviving. I have written down some daily goals/disciplines. (I am not speaking of disciplining children. I am speaking of self-discipline) I offer them up every day along with asking God to order my day. I think the biggest is keeping Nehemiah 6:3 in the forefront of my mind. Yes, I AM doing a good work and I cannot come down. And for this season of life, that is okay.

Here are a few things on my list:

~Wake up at least an hour before the rest of the family to pray (I used to do this but somewhere I lost that discipline and would pray “on the go”. Not the most effective way to spend time with God)

~Begin school by 8:30 each morning (it’s amazing how much more productive we are if we get right to it! Maybe this is even considered late to some, but we have had years where we don’t get into our day until 9:30 or later, so I am very content with this time.)

~ Meet with my 8th grader daily in the afternoon (She is a very independent student and it’s easy for me to forget to check on her. Then her struggles can fall through the cracks if she has any. By meeting with her we can discuss any troublesome areas and work through them right then)

~Grade work daily (when I fall behind in this it’s completely overwhelming and then I can’t even figure out where a concept has been lost. Grading daily allows me to fix problems right away.)

~No cell phone in the school room (it’s just too tempting to check and answer text messages, emails etc that come through)

~Less time on Facebook and checking emails and more time being present with my family

~Try to keep a calm and quiet environment (I cannot do this if I am completely overwhelmed and stressed out.) and remember that “life is not an emergency”

~Have a specific book to read on Sundays, maybe about the saints, to focus on Sunday being God's day. I purchased a book called The Domestic Church to begin this little Sunday tradition. As of yet I have not begun this goal but still hope to.

I have not perfected these by any stretch of the imagination. I am a work in progress. There are ~~days~~ weeks where I don’t follow all of these. I can say though, when I do practice these disciplines we have a much more peace filled home and accomplish great things. And by His Grace I can keep trying.

My prayer for you is to find rest, balance, simplicity and peace in this busy world.

God bless,

Jen

My True Boss!

2013-04-22T15:57:00.000-04:00

Who do I work for anyway? This question has taken root in the forefront of my mind. I have to constantly remind myself of the fact that I do not work for anyone here on earth; not my husband, my children, or anyone else. My growing up years were years of wanting to please my parents, make them proud. I think that is a normal aspect of childhood, though I tend to take the people pleasing to new heights! And so it spilled right over into my marriage. For some reason, I always fall into the habit of wanting to seek my husband's approval. I often find myself disappointed when he doesn't have the reaction to things that I had hoped for. My expectations of how he will react to something rise without my even noticing. Those expectations blindside me every time he fails to have the reaction I had hoped for. (Of course I never let him in on what I was hoping for!) Whether it's a new project, something I have been teaching the kids in school, or how many things I have accomplished in a very busy day, I constantly look to him for approval or a pat on the back. He has even told me many times over, "I'm not your boss. You don't work for me." He is right. I work for God. But it's so easy to forget that because, though God is truly always with us, He is not tangibly here to tell me how He thinks I am doing. He can't give me His feedback. Those are the times I need to seek His Word to remind myself of His love.

However in the day to day busyness I fall into the trap over and over again of seeking my husband's approval. Even the approval of others. This leads me nowhere but feeling disappointed. It's also exhausting because you cannot possibly please everyone here on earth. It can be maddening to try. If 1 Corinthians 3:19 tells me, "For the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God's sight." Then why would I live to please anyone in this world? To live up to anyones expectations? Only God's opinion of me matters.

A couple of years ago during a homeschool conference I attended, one of the speakers encouraged us to remember that we work for God. And we should offer it all up to Him every day. She said to always say, "All for you Lord. All for you." When I remember to say this in the midst of my frustration that no one notices what I am doing, it does help. I just need to remember to say it and believe it!

A few verses from Scripture to encourage us in living to please God alone....

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for The Lord rather than for men, knowing that from The Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is The Lord Christ whom you serve.
Colossians 3:23-24

How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and you do not seek the glory that is from the one and only God? John 5:44

So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.1 Corinthians 10:31

...Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.
1 Thessalonians 2:4

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

Don't put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath... Isaiah 2:22

...Always give yourselves fully to the work of The Lord, because you know that your labor in The Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58

...the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:8-9

By God's Grace may we remember to offer up our daily tasks as a prayer to Him, saying, All for you Lord. All for you.

God bless,
Jen

Allowing God to Order My Days

2013-04-16T16:34:00.002-04:00

I tend to get-as my husband would say- "wrapped around the axle" about all that I try to accomplish. I am a worker bee. I like to get things done. I feel a sense of purpose when I have completed a task. I LOVE crossing things off my "to do" list! I believe I have inherited this trait from my hard working mom. She was always busy with many tasks. She has 6 children and 17 grandchildren (plus great-grandchildren!) and we have all kept her busy! She was also very active in the community and our church growing up. She used to joke that she had lists for her lists. I completely understand this as I have many lists, usually sorted by topic, or "To Do Now", "To Do Soon", and "To Do ASAP". I know, it's a bit over the top, right?! But it's who I am.

I find it difficult to maintain balance between homemaking tasks, homeschooling tasks, keeping up with family and community etc. I tend to gravitate toward doing really well keeping up in one area but then neglecting the rest. We are either having an amazing school day with many projects going, while the laundry doesn't get done and/or I am late in making dinner. Or I am on task with the house, everything is in order but we aren't having that great of a school day.

I have found that I feel like my kids are interrupting what I need to accomplish! (Don't judge me too harshly!) Remember, I said I feel a need to accomplish things and motherhood usually does not allow for that!! Recently I came across the photo below, posted by Sweet Kisses and Dirty Dishes.

Well if that didn't put me in my place! This is actually something my husband has been trying to get me to understand for years. It seems to come so naturally for him. He doesn't understand why I get so wrapped up in trying to do so many things; why I won't just focus on mothering. Our children ARE my work. They need to come first. But there is the lingering question of, "But what about all the other things? I can't just NOT do lesson plans, or grade work and pull my portfolio together, or many of the other thousands of things that really do need attention at times."

So one day recently, in a moment of complete frustration about all I couldn't get done that day, I put it all on paper. (yes, my life is a spreadsheet!) I listed all the things I feel like I need to do, under the categories of Homemaker, Homeschooler, Daughter/Sister/Friend, etc etc. (and don't forget personal prayer time, which without I am not a very good mama!) This was a very general list of the basics, not too detailed. I offered it up in my prayer time and said, "Lord, I know you gave me plenty of time in my day, but I am not managing it to the best of my abilities. I am not using my time very wisely. I feel completely overwhelmed by all I feel I need to get done, and nothing seems to be getting done because of it. So I give you my tasks and ask you to order my day. Show me and lead me in doing what YOU would have me to today." I cannot even express to you the freedom that came with giving it up, letting go and asking God to order my day. My days have been flowing more freely and without as much stress-on the days I do this! I find that I am getting things done in a balanced way and most importantly, feeling peace about what isn't getting accomplished. Tomorrow is another day!

Remember, I told you I claim no perfections! So please do not have an image of my days perfectly flowing while I have a peaceful, patient disposition. Life is still crazy busy and I am still overwhelmed, because there is a lot on my plate. However if I take the time to offer my day up to God it does work better.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

My grace is sufficient for you...2 Corinthians 12:9

Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!" The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who seek Him. Lamentations 3:23-25

With His Grace I will remember to seek Him first each day~
Gods Blessings,

Jen

Good Friday

2013-03-29T08:58:00.000-04:00

We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you,

because by your holy cross,

you have redeemed the world.

How do we thank Him for loving us THIS much?

I took this picture with my cell phone last Good Friday at The Grotto of Lourdes in Emmitsburg, MD. We couldn't believe what we saw.....

His light shines always-even in the darkest moments.

Remembering His Passion today.....

Holy Week

2013-03-25T21:15:00.001-04:00

Just a few more books I am using for Holy Week!

A tradition in my family, as far back as I can remember, is that my father would make crosses out of the palms we received at Palm Sunday Mass. He'd give them to each of us and say, "Peace be with you." These crosses were always special, but never as special as they have become in recent years. My father's health has been declining the past 4 years, so each Palm Sunday I'd wonder if this would be the last year he would be able to make these. I have kept every one these past handful of years and I am so grateful I did. My dad didn't make them this year. I suspected he wouldn't be able to. So I checked the special place that I have been keeping most of them and there they were; a whole drawer full of them, a little treasure-trove! My heart felt so good when I saw these. I will always cherish them! Here are just a few, made by my Daddy's hands....

Is This How Jesus Felt?

2013-01-28T20:03:00.000-05:00

January 5, 2013

Desert places....have you been there? I come to them now and then on this journey. Places, and times where I feel alone in my walk. Where I feel persecuted for following God and His will. It happens more often than I'd like. The toughest part I think, is when i feel persecuted by people closest to me; those that I would hope know my heart and my intentions. This is when the persecution is the most painful. Recently I had a situation that was particularly painful. I felt attacked for standing up for something I felt was the right thing to do. The blessing in it though, was that God allowed me to see the pain He went through for me; for us. How lonely must Jesus have felt in the desert. How forsaken during His Agony in the Garden. He knows the pain in my heart in these times, because He felt it too. I was so very grateful for this moment where I felt Jesus said to me, "I have been there and I am enough for you."

Scripture tells us that to follow Him will not be easy. Doing God's will can be difficult and takes courage, but it's what He desires. We need to keep our eyes focused on HIM in order to be able to "take up our cross and follow Him". Here are some verses I cling to in these times. They give me hope and I pray they will do the same for you if you struggle with feeling isolated for doing God's will.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:10-12

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.... If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also...They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me. John 15:18-21

But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

For the wisdom of the world is foolishness in God's sight. 1 Corinthians 3:19

Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of The Lord, because you know that your labor in The Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:58

...the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.
Galatians 6:8-10

...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3

... But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 1 Peter 2:20-21

But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.... Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 1 Peter 3:14-17

Yes! I DO love being a mom!

2013-01-28T17:23:00.002-05:00

December 21, 2012

While checking out at the grocery store the other day I experienced something new and refreshing. See, I have to put on my battle gear each time, in an effort to fight off all the negativity I tend to receive being the mom of 5 kids, and a homeschooler at that. What a rebel I am!! I am asked, every single time, one or more of the following questions; "Wow- is this a months worth of groceries?", "You have HOW many kids?", "You know how to stop that don't you?", "Gosh, you could use this receipt to start a fire!" The list goes on...and on. It is extremely uncomfortable for me most times. So to my absolute surprise, after the usual conversation about how long my groceries will last, how many it will feed etc, the nice young girl at the check out said to me, "Wow-you must really love being a mom!". After a moment of being completely stunned, I responded, "Well, yes, I do- I really do."

I have been pondering this since it happened. Why is it that I tend to be afraid to say that I am a mom of five, or that I stay home with my children, homeschool them and actually enjoy having them here with me? Why do i absolutely cringe upon stating that we are open to more children if God sees fit to give us more? Truly, my family is small compared to many women I know. The girl at the check out got me really thinking about how much I truly do love being a mom. Mothering is the most heart-wrenching and heart warming thing, all at the same time. I never knew I'd feel the things I feel. I never knew how much love I could feel for another human being. I never knew how hard it would be. It's the hardest job I have ever done, and it certainly feels anything but rewarding at times-many times! While there are times when I think things like, I can't do it anymore, I'm not capable, these blessings are going to kill me!, When I feel I am at my wits end, I am also pierced by my children's beauty; both outward and inner. I am struck by their beautiful eyes that are so deep, their bright smiles that light up a room. I am in awe of the sweetness of a toddlers kissable cheeks, or their hand in mine. I am touched by moments like watching my children do their favorite things; skating, dancing, riding horses, and moments like watching my child walk across the stage to received her diploma. These moments bring me back to the reality of how much I treasure being a mom and what a blessing this vocation is.

My daughters have brought so much joy. They are an incredible blessing. God created me to be their mom and Yes- I do love it!

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord~ Psalm 127:3

Welcome

2013-01-28T16:35:00.000-05:00

Hello and thank you for taking the time to visit. I wanted to start out by telling you a bit more about myself and what my hopes are for this blog....

Some things I love are my morning coffee and prayer time, taking photos, scrap-booking (although I don’t have much time for it these days!), reading novels, horses, flowers, nature-especially the seaside. I am a huge Laura Ingalls Wilder fan and love all things Laura! I love healthy eating, though I am not extreme in the area.

My purpose in putting together this blog is to share my journey with others. I believe we are called to use our experiences to help one another. I think the vocation of motherhood can be a lonely one at times. It's so easy to compare ourselves to other women and become discouraged and isolate ourselves. Whenever I am going through something in life I want to know I am not alone; that others have been there. My hope is that in sharing my struggles, thoughts, experiences etc, that someone may read something and realize they are not alone. I will always be real in what I post because that is what I always crave. All too often I think we, as women, search out things to help us on our way only to find what appears to be perfection. From there we start to second guess ourselves and wonder why we don’t have what another has, whether it’s creativity, organization, great ideas etc. This starts the trail of self doubt. I don’t claim any perfection. Many of my ideas have been cultivated by watching and observing others or asking for advice and taking the best of others’ thoughts. Any talents I may have and anything good that I may do, are only because of God’s Grace. I am a real mom, who struggles every day to be better. I yell at my kids too often and, grow frustrated with my husband more than I should. I do not have it all together. Some days are more challenging than others. But I get up every day, spend time with Him, and only by His Grace, keep moving forward.

I recently read something that i loved on another blog that I came across. Then as I searched through I found a comment about the blogger being non-denominational because she didn't believe in division. Ironically I felt instantly divided from this woman because I love and embrace my Catholic faith. I will post things about about my faith on here, but would hate for anyone to feel division over that. I believe we are all after the same Savior and I pray all will feel welcome here.

I will pray daily for all who enter this site. Thank you for joining me on my journey. Know of my prayers for you and may God bless you always~

Jen