Toddville Tidewaters

Spiders made our garden home

2013-08-15T20:46:00.001-05:00

A friend of our garden...we had a few of these gals spread out through the yard. They look more fierce than they are. Get to close to their web and they run and hide...unless you're a grasshopper, in which case they are rather fierce.

Mom's life cycle is complete. She relocated her web from our garden to our front door. We watched her catch lots of insects. Every night, she would eat the center of her web and then reconstruct it. On a windy day, a pine needle got stuck in the web. When the winds died down, we watched her carefully cut it out and rebuild her web.

Then along came a male that we missed. The male is half her size and a plain, skinny brown dude. We missed the drama because, in a spider's world, the female rules and gets all the attention. If the male approached too quickly, he's simply became another meal. He has to approach carefully by building a web next to hers, or even in hers, and carefully entice her by tugging on the web strands. If she likes what she sees, they have a sexy rendezvous, then she eats him. Either way, approaching fast or slow, he becomes a meal, but going slow means having a moment of fun for his one and only fling before becoming the main course at dinner.

She must've liked the male that approached her. She carefully hung her egg sac on the side of the house. It's hard to tell in the picture, but the egg sac is hanging and not touching the house. She knew what she was doing. By suspending the egg sac, it's a lot harder, even near impossible, for ants to find a tasty egg breakfast.
After laying her eggs and carefully hanging them, she dropped to the ground and died. If she did everything right, the eggs will remain in the sac throughout the winter, and next spring thousands of her children will emerge ready to begin the life cycle all over again. And if you think a web isn't all that strong, consider that egg sac will hang, suspended, all winter and through every winter storm and never fall to the ground. If it does fall to the ground, it'll become a tasty meal for ants or other insects or even marauding shrews or mice.

Mom

Next year's generation

What the heck is a "love expert"?

2013-02-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

On the radio I heard a clip to watch the local news because a "love expert" was going to talk about love. Really? A love expert? Do you go to school and get a degree for that?

Of all the unexplained mysteries of the world, love has to top the list. With its many facets, we spend a lifetime trying to understand and explain love. Poets define it in flowery words. Musicians put it to music. Artists add color to it. Psychologists analyize it. Doctors scan the brain for it. Most people accept, stumble, and fumble with it.

Let's go retro back to the 70s for a minute.

Love is...
...happiness and sadness at the same time
...comforting and upsetting at the same time
...ego booster and heart breaker at the same time
...euphoric and depressive at the same time
...intimate and lonely at the same time
...altruistic and selfish at the same time
...as one and schizophrenic at the same time
...everywhere and nowhere at the same time

After spending a lifetime trying to understand love, in the end, the realization that we never really did understand it nor did we ever really define it smacks us up side the head like a wet flounder.

With all of its incongruencies, how can anyone claim to be "an expert on love"? A fisherman, perhaps? They get smacked up side the head by a wet flounder all the time.

© 2012
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Same sex marriage repercussions

2012-11-10T03:28:00.000-05:00

Interesting night. I stopped by our one and only local bar for a beer. One of the regulars started talking to me. He asked, "Where's you're buddy?"

I answered he was home, asleep, but Jack (let's call him that) started apologizing for calling Keith a "buddy". He struggled with finding a term to call him.

I cut him off and asked, "Did you know Keith and I were together when we first met you here six years ago?"

Jack answered, "Yes."

"So now we can legally marry, what's the problem?"

Jack pointed across the bar and said, "See the blond in the black sweatshirt? That's my wife. If I wanted to point you and Keith out, what would I say? That's husband and husband? Partners? Spouses?"

"What does it matter? Point us out in anyway you want."

"You're good guys. I mean, we shared burgers on the grill at your house after the bar closed. I just don't know what to say without offending you."

"You knew Keith and I were together in that way when we first met you, right?"

"Yes."

"What's this difference now? Because we can legally marry, that somehow changes things?"

"No, I just don't want to offend you and Keith."

"Then be Jack, the Jack we've known for the last six years."

We talked some more and Jack was astounded by the fact that Keith and I have been together for the last twelve years.

"Wow, that's a long time. I didn't think guys like you could stay together like that."

"How long have you been with your wife?"

"Twenty-four years."

"Why that long? You're standing here, drunk off your feet talking to me, and she's across the bar as if she doesn't know you. What is it that you and her love each other so much that you committed to each other for the last twenty-four years?"

Jack looked at me through his drunk eyes, but with some thought. "Love is what it is and we can't control it."

"And, Jack, That's what Keith and I have no matter what anyone else calls it."

Jack bought me another beer and he just couldn't let the topic go. Ahh, the life of a drunk. So me being me excused myself for a minute and walked to the other side of the bar where Jack's wife sat.

"Would you mind if I picked your husband up tonight?"

"Oh Hell, yeah. Take him home and keep him."

I went back to Jack and told him his wife didn't mind if I I picked him up.

"Really? That don't sound right."

Jack stumbled over to talk to his wife. While he talked to his wife, I finished my beer and went to the mens room. When I came out, Jack and his wife were gone. Considering they left an hour and a half before last call, I reckon Jack quickly learned to appreciate, and love, his wife even more.

So, if Keith and I do get married, which we problay won't because he ain't asked me yet, how would we refer to each other? Spouse is good, but too generic and emotionally detached. Husband is too sexist because the word implies a wife. Partner is good if we were cowboys or venturing into a business together. Other half sounds schizophrenic. Significant other lacks the deep emotional bond.

Dangit, Keith and I can't get married because there's no meaningful word to describe our relationship. Anybody got any ideas of a new word to describe two married guys?

© 2012
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Question 6 - Marriage Equality Act - How will you vote, Part III

2012-10-19T16:40:00.000-05:00

Opponents to same sex marriage have launched a campaign to repeal Maryland's same sex marriage law. With typical, and predictable, religious bigotry, they are trying to convince Marylanders that marriage has traditionally been defined as between a man and a woman and children do best when raised by a married man and a woman. We don't have the fancy resources to make fancy commercials, but we offer an alternative view to their message that has been missing on Delmarva.

Question 6 – How will you vote? (Part II)

2012-10-16T03:14:00.001-05:00

As the election nears, Marylanders will, undoubtedly, be bombarded with advertising telling you why you shouldn’t vote “yes” on Question 6. Voting yes on Question 6 means you support the Marriage Equality Act, the law that will allow same sex marriage in Maryland. Here’s a break down of the arguments opposing Question 6 that you’re likely to hear.

God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Of course, there are hundreds of variations of this argument, complete with Scripture quotes, but all of them boil down to one basic argument – God says homosexuality is an abomination so we shouldn’t legalize it.

Without going into a whole theological debate, let’s agree that God thinks homosexuality is an abomination. The bottom line is we don’t base our laws solely on what we (or some) believe God thinks. If we did, we’d be a theocracy, and we only have to look as far as the Middle East to see how well theocracies work.

That’s not to say the religious argument is without merit. If your religious belief were that same sex couples are not blessed in God’s eyes, then certainly you would want a law that doesn’t infringe on your religious beliefs. The Marriage Equality Act took that into account and expressly forbids a requirement of clergy performing same sex marriage ceremonies or a Church offering its facilities for the celebration of a same sex marriage.

You, nor your Church, have to accept same sex marriage as being acceptable in God’s eyes. What Question 6 does ask, outside of your theological beliefs, should a same sex couple be allowed to marry in a civil ceremony.

We shouldn’t reward behavioral or lifestyle choices.

This is the age-old question – is homosexuality a choice or an inherent trait? For that matter, is heterosexuality a choice or an inherent trait?

The argument goes along the lines that heterosexuality is normal, an inherent trait, that drives us, and all species, to have children and continue on. Gay people choose to go against their inherent nature in pursuit of selfish, physical pleasure.

Almost every gay person will tell you that they knew they were gay, even if they didn’t know the word for how they felt, since they hit puberty. At the time their friends were finding the attractiveness of the opposite sex, they felt the same feelings for their own sex. No gay person took a test in seventh grade sex-ed class and decided they were going to think outside of the box and choose to be gay.

Scientific evidence supports the notion that one’s sexual orientation has a strong genetic component. No, there probably isn’t a “gay gene” anymore than there is a “heterosexual gene”. But there are several genes that control hormone levels and brain development that give support to the idea that sexual orientation is mostly, if not completely, genetically driven.

Does that mean the stereotyped, flamboyant gay man in a Gay Pride event is genetically driven to act the way he does? Of course not. That would be like saying any woman in Mardi Gras is genetically driven to flash her breasts for the reward of beads.

What it does say is that God (or genetics, depending upon your beliefs) gave us the greatest gift of all – the need to love and be loved. What we, as individuals, find in our heart to be our life long soul mate, the one who we will love and cherish until death do us part, shouldn’t be legislated by others who don’t approve of the love.

No one has the right to redefine marriage.

That argument is the furthest thing from the truth. When Adam and Eve left the Garden of Eden, incest was the norm. We forbid immediate family members from marrying today, and rightly so. Historically, polygamy was the norm and supported in our Bible. Today, rightly so, we forbid polygamous marriages. In fact, the Bible describes six forms of marriage, of which only one we accept today. So, yes, we have had no problem redefining marriage.

The Supreme Court, in 1967, was faced with the question of who can and cannot marry. Many states forbade the marriage of a Black person to a White person. In their ruling, in Loving vs Virginia, the Supreme Court made two significant decisions. The first was that the right to marry was a basic civil right afforded to any two people. The second was that a state could deny a marriage only if the state could show a compelling reason.

A state can easily show that a brother and sister marrying could result in children with severe genetic handicaps. That’s a pretty compelling reason to deny immediate family members from marrying. A state could also show that a man married to more than one woman could result in children he could not financially support, not to mention the emotional neglect necessary for a healthy family. That’s a pretty compelling reason to deny polygamy.

What compelling reason would a state have to deny a same sex marriage?

There are an estimated 6 – 14 million children being raised by same sex parents. Studies show that these children not only are equal to their peers in intellectual and emotional growth, but also are often “more balanced” than their peers. In fact, their biggest obstacle is not that they have two Dads or two Moms. Their biggest obstacle is dealing with the prejudices of their peers and other parents because “traditional parents” aren’t raising them.

What compelling reason can you come up with to justify denying two same sex people from marrying? When answering this question, remember, you have to come up with measurable harm the state would suffer, the key word being, measurable.

Children do best when raised by a married Mom and Dad.

This is a smoke screen argument designed to denigrate not only same sex couples, but also single parents. As already mentioned, studies don’t support this argument.

The general gist of the argument is based on the notion that if two men are raising a child, the child is deprived of a female role model. Conversely, if two women are raising a child, the child is deprived of a male role model.

What this argument does is assume that children are raised in a vacuum. They’ll grow up to be just like Mom and Dad, so if you don’t have the proper role models, the child will not grow up “normal.”

Here’s a surprise fact. Just like heterosexual couples, same sex couples have extended families and friends who help in the raising of a child. There are plenty of role models in a child’s life for him or her to learn from. There are grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. When the child is old enough to go to school, there are friends and their families. Role models abound. Sure, Bob, being raised by two Moms, might grow up and think it’s normal for him to cook dinner once in awhile… and that’s a bad thing? Or Suzie, being raised by two Dads, might grow up and think it’s perfectly normal for her to change a flat tire… and that’s a bad thing?

Children do best when they have a family who loves and supports them. It really is that simple.

Come this November, once you wade through all the empty rhetoric, how will you vote on Question 6?

Question 6 – How will you vote?

2012-10-11T19:45:00.000-05:00

In a few weeks, Marylanders have the opportunity to vote on Question 6 – The Marriage Equality Act. Voting, “yes”, means you support the right of gay and lesbian couples to be able to legally marry.

Opponents of Question 6 have already hit the airwaves with ads encouraging you to vote, “no”. They don’t want marriage “redefined” and plead that marriage is for the sake of the next generation because children should be raised by the “ideal parents”, meaning a mother and a father.

Unwittingly, they have given you a good reason to vote “yes” on question 6. Numbers are hard to come by, but there are an estimated 6 to 14 million children being raised by same sex couples nationwide. Same sex couples are also raising an estimated 4% of adopted children. You can bet a sizable number of children with same sex parents are being raised here in Maryland.

Legal marriage bestows a lot of rights and support to a married couple and to the children. In fact, there are some 1,200 federal rights and two to three hundred state rights automatically granted once a couple says, “I do.” In addition to the rights, the tax code is written to support families with children, and health care laws are written to guarantee support for the spouse and children.

What the opponents of Question 6 hope you don’t realize is that by denying legal marriage to same sex couples, you are also denying the legal support to the children of same sex couples. In effect, opponents of Question 6 are saying that children of same sex couples aren’t as important as children being raised by “ideal” parents of a man and a woman.

Marriage isn’t being “redefined”. The Marriage Equality Act explicitly protects religious institutions from being forced to perform same sex marriage ceremonies or offering their facilities or support to same sex marriage celebrations. What the Marriage Equality Act does do is grant the same legal protections to same sex couples and their children as married couples and their children currently have.

It really is that simple.

Cover Craze - The Lion Sleeps Tonight

2012-05-03T14:34:00.000-05:00

Keith really loves his music. He has collected and made enough CDs to open his own music store. He made one CD he titled "Travelling Man". Every song on the CD talked about a state. As you listen to each song, you "travel" with the Travelling Man to about twenty different states.

I liked Keith's idea of a concept CD so much, I started making my own concept CDs. "Alien Worlds", for example, is a collection of songs that sing about aliens. Another one I made is a collection of songs that have been covered by other bands. Keith titled it Cover Craze. The first song played is the original song by the original artist. The second song is the cover version by another band. My only stipulation in selecting the songs for the CD was the cover song had to do as well or better than the original on the music charts. I made some exceptions, but I generally followed the rule. As you listen to the CD, you get to decide for yourself if the original or the cover version is the better song.

Keith loved my Cover Craze CD so much, has has gone on to make seven more Cover Craze CDs. Even as he is finishing up Volume 8, he is already making a list for Volume 9. As he makes these CDs, he always says he wishes there were a way to share his collection with others who may appreciate the music and concept as much as he does.

Well, we've started the best I know how. Share it on You Tube. We selected "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by The Tokens. The Tokens released the song in 1961 and hit #1 on the Billboard Charts. The song hit #1 again in 1994 with the release of the Disney movie, "The Lion King", making it one of the few songs that crossed generations and topped the charts.

The origin "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", however, was written and performed by a group in South Africa, Linda Solomon and the Evening Birds, in 1939. It made a local hit. The Weavers brought the song to this country in 1952 and charted #15 with their version. "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is one of the rare songs that we felt including all three versions of the song was important. In the video below, after a short introduction, you will hear the 1939 original song followed by The Token's 1961 #1 hit most of us are familiar with. During the closing credits, you will hear The Weaver's version.

Listen and enjoy!

First sounds and sights of spring

2012-04-10T22:46:00.000-05:00

If you went into hibernation last fall, you missed our perpetual spring interrupted by a handful of days of winter. March started out like a normal April and our flowers responded accordingly.

Before I go any further, I have to explain something. Keith and I are avid gardeners, but trying to get anything to grow down here is as difficult and frustrating as...hmmm....no, it is the most difficult and frustrating task to accomplish. Period.

Our soil is clay. Our clay is saturated with salt from the tidal flooding that inundates our yard about once a year. Fall through spring, our water tables are so high, walking in our yard is like walking on a soaked sponge. Water literally squeezes out from underneath your feet. And that's not fresh water. Yup, it's salt water.

Some plants we can absolutely not grow. Phlox, for example, collapses within a day after salt water has touched it. The plants we can grow struggle and don't quite reach their best potential. As long as the ground is wet or moist, they can handle the briny water, but when the summer dries out the ground, they burn and become stunted from the crystallizing salt in the soil.

Despite knowing how much salt water is in and under our yard, somehow we have frogs, and lots of them. This fact never ceases to amaze us. We thought frogs were strictly fresh water creatures, but they thrive down here. The only explanation we have is our water isn't salty like the ocean. It's more briny, but has just enough salt to damage a lot of plants people in the high country have no problem growing, and yet fresh enough to support a healthy frog population.

Despite all the frustrations and obstacles, we're still determined to get things to grow and splash our yard in color. Every fall, we go to Lowe's and buy hundreds of bulbs, but we wait until around Thanksgiving when Lowe's reduces the price by 75% off. We save a lot of money that way. Nothing like getting a bag of 25 daffodil bulbs for a buck!

Last spring we were rewarded with a colorful April showing. Encouraged, but worried that maybe the bulbs didn't survive the harsh conditions of our clay and salt, we added hundreds of bulbs last fall. We crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

Mother Nature more than cooperated. By February, not only were the bulbs we planted in the fall coming up, but most of the bulbs we planted the year before were coming up. In fact, some of those bulbs were starting as early as December and January.

March didn't come in like a lion. It came in thinking it was April. The warm weather brought out the best in our bulbs. Our yard came alive with color for the first three weeks of March. The color burst came about a month earlier than normal because of the unusually warm month, but we enjoyed it all the same.

Because of a few warm days near eighty degrees, March brought us another early treat - frogs. Frogs are usually hibernating during March, but what amphibian can resist eighty degree days? We had a couple of nights of their chorus before the weather turned cool again. They'll be back out in full force in a few weeks, but their performance was a nice preview of their annual show.

So far, April is more like mid to late March, which is fine for gardens, but we are concerned about the serious lack of rain. The water tables are down like they are supposed to be, but that allows our ground to dry out. Our seedlings for the late spring/early summer color are starting to sprout, but if we don't get rain to keep the salt down, we may have a bland garden after the mid-spring bloomers are finished blooming.

Keith and I decided we could never be farmers. The weather is too fickle and we're sure Mother Nature is getting ticked off with our constant cussing her out. Oddly, we have some healthy cacti growing in our yard. Our native prickly pear cactus and it's Texas cousin thrive down here. If Mother Nature decides to get even with us for our cursing her and turns our yard into a desert like she did last year, we'll always have the pretty cacti.

Enjoy the tour of our spring yard. We open the tour with a minute chorus from our frogs and finish the tour with color and the music from Pink Floyd.

New Years 2012: Our first Burning Man celebration

2012-01-11T00:08:00.001-05:00

Last year on New Years, Keith and I stayed home. We celebrated the New Years watching Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve and I swear I didn't see a ball fall. I saw a lot of lights get lower and lower, but nothing fell. I've been watching that dang ball fall since I was a kid, and all I ever see is a bunch of lights. I wanted something different for next year.

After we rang in 2011, I announced to Keith that next year I was going to have a Burning Man celebration to ring in the New Year. "What the Hell is a burning man?" he asked.

Keith had never heard of the annual Burning Man celebration in the Nevada desert so I started explaining. "Every year, they erect a hundred foot scarecrow in the middle of the desert. Tens of thousands of hippies come from all over the world to get drunk and dance naked around the scarecrow while listening to sixties music. At night, they set the scarecrow on fire and the dancing and partying continues for days."

"Ohh, sixities music? That sounds like fun," Keith remarked, but remained unimpressed. "I don't want all those people in my yard."

I assured him our celebration would be just me and him unless he wanted to invite a couple of friends. People from all over the world wouldn't descend on Toddville to watch our little scarecrow burn in a little bonfire. He remained unimpressed.

When spring arrived, I planted the pole that would hold up our scarecrow and told Keith that as we took care of the yard, anything yanked or cut is to be placed around the pole for our Burning Man celebration on New Years. I know a yeah-whatever-look when I see one and that's what I got from him.

Throughout the spring and summer, nothing to burn ended up around the pole except for some branches I moved so I could cut the grass. October rolled around and I cut down two holly trees so our chaste tree would get more sun next year. I piled all the wood and branches from both trees around the pole. "That should give us a good Burning Man celebration," I said. I got another yeah-whatever-look.

I resigned myself to thinking that I would be the only idiot around a bonfire on New Year's Eve. I didn't even feel like building the scarecrow. I figured a nice bonfire would be better than watching a bunch of lights on TV. Deep down I knew Keith would come out just before midnight to ring in the New Year and then go back in, but I would still be out there listening to my music and enjoying the warmth of the bonfire by myself.

The night before New Year's Eve 2012, I picked Keith up from his work and we headed home.

Keith was all excited and full of energy. "I thought about the Burning Man all day and, look, I made my New Year's resolutions." He held out a notepad piece of paper and read, word-for-word, what he wrote. "New Year's Resolutions," he began as he pointed to the words. "And look, I even signed it." Underneath the title, he read his signed full name and then proceeded to read each of his resolutions. "Now I gave this a lot of thought. We have to have a story behind the Burning Man if we want it to be a good tradition."

Up to this point, I never considered we needed a good story to justify standing around a burning scarecrow to drink beer. I thought the fact it was New Year's Eve was a good enough story. But Keith wanted a good story and he gave us a good story.

He explained the Burning Man represented our old selves. We had to write our resolutions down and before we set the fire, we had to read our resolutions to the Burning Man and then pin them to him. Then we would set the fire and the Burning Man represented our desire to get rid of our old selves. The Burning Man would go up in smoke and take our resolutions with him. That way, the Burning Man would know what our resolutions were.

"And," Keith excitedly explained, "if you break a resolution, the Burning Man will come back and burn your ass."

I loved the story. "But we need a specific song to play at midnight that reflects the story and New Years. But it has to be sixties style because that's the kind of music you're supposed to play at a Burning Man celebration."

Keith had no problem coming up with not one, but two songs. "Out With the Old by Chameleon Church and Hell Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown. "The first one because that's the whole theme behind the Burning Man and the second one because we want to make sure he burns," Keith explained.

We were all set except for one thing. We had the story, we had the song, but we didn't have the Burning Man and I had only one day to make him.

Let me tell you, putting together a scarecrow isn't as easy as it looks. We've all seen one hanging in a field or even staked in the middle of the family vegetable garden. They look easy enough to put together, but if you never put one together, it's a difficult task.

Getting the old clothes together was easy enough. Stuffing it was almost as easy. The hard part was gathering all the reeds to stuff it with. Our little scarecrow took several wheelbarrow's worth of reeds. The head was particularly difficult. I got it as round as I could, but it was still lopsided. It was also at this point I realized our scarecrow would have no arms because I used a short sleeved shirt. I figured it would be dark and no one would notice.

When I first tried to hang it, the pants fell down and all the upper body stuffing fell out. I laid it back down on the ground and re-stuffed it. I decided I needed to learn how to sew. Trying to get the thread through the eye of the needle almost stopped my plans for a Burning Man. My eyesight used to be so good, I could thread a needle blindfolded. It took me almost half an hour to get that needle threaded. I don't know what happened to my eye sight, but suffice it to say it sucks getting old.

I hung the Burning Man, but the dang thing wasn't high enough over the wood for the fire. On top of that, the body of the scarecrow flopped into an odd posture. I don't know how they get them straight in the fields, but ours limply flopped every which way. It was past dark and I wanted to take an hour nap before celebrating, so I decided what I had would have to do.

Keith came out to look at the finished product. "Can't you fix it? Look how it's posed. We have an armless, gay Burning Man."

"No, I can't fix it because it'd probably fall apart again. It'll have to do."

Keith shook his head. "That's the gayest looking thing I've ever seen. I hope we do better next year."

About fifteen minutes before midnight, I opened a beer, grabbed the burnable trash, and headed outside. Keith followed with a glass of wine in hand and his sixties music. As he got his music ready, I placed the burnable trash in the pile of wood, prepared to start the fire.

Once we were ready, Keith pulled out his resolutions and read all three of them to the Burning Man. I pulled out my resolutions and read all six.

"Six?" Keith asked. "Just a couple of hours ago you couldn't think of one."

"That was then. This is now." I proceeded to read all six of my resolutions.

When I was done, we pinned our resolutions over the heart of the Burning Man and I set the fire. DeeJay Keith started the song, Out With the Old as the fire struggled to burn. As the song was about to end, our fire finally started to take off.

Keith ran to the truck to play the next song. At this point, we realized we were three minutes late ringing in the New Year. Good thing we didn't sell tickets to the event. Of course, down here in Toddville, we all do things at our own pace so even though the clock said we were late, we were really on time. I reckon over the last couple of centuries, ringing in the New Year a few minutes late added up to why we're a good fifty years behind everyone else now.

As Hell Fire played, our friends, Brian and Shana joined the celebration. As we stood around the bonfire (the Burning Man had disappeared into ashes), Brian asked what the celebration was about. He thought for sure it was some sort of witchcraft celebration. I knew he never heard of the Nevada celebration so I simply said there was no witchery involved. It was just an excuse to drink beer on a nice night. That explanation was good enough for him.

Keith was going to play his sixties music all night, but when Hell Fire ended, he played the classic rock station as he searched for the next CD to play. A Lynryd Skynrd song played and Brain began serenading Keith. In Brian's defense, anytime a Lynryd Skynrd song plays, Brian serenades anyone who will listen. No one's ever serenaded Keith before and he was flattered. He decided to leave the classic rock station play for Brian since he enjoyed it so much.

By this time our fire was back to a candle flame and struggling to catch the wood on fire. While Brian serenaded Keith, Shana went and got a friend, Mary, to come over. Mary came up to the dwindling flames with her resolutions and asked me, "What do I do? Just throw them in the fire?"

"Well, even though the Burning Man is ashes now, you still need to read them before throwing them in."

"But their personal."

"Then read them to yourself and toss them."

She quickly read her resolutions and threw them in the fire. I joined Keith and Brian in drinking beer and took their pictures. None of us noticed Shana and Mary had disappeared.

A couple of minutes later, they reappeared, Mary with a truckload of paper and cardboard. She tossed it all on the near-gone fire, even tucking it behind the pallet we used for wood. She made a couple of trips to her truck for more cardboard and paper to get the fire going. Her eyes were focused on the one task - get the fire burning.

It only took a few minutes and we had a roaring fire that soared a good ten or fifteen feet in the air. We'll never know what Mary's resolutions were, but she wanted to make sure the Burning Man took care of them. Unfortunately, Mary disappeared before I could get her picture, but I hope whatever she threw in that fire means this year will be a better year for her. She was so determined to get that fire going, I never got to wish her a Happy New Year, so, Mary, if you are reading this, "Happy New Year!"

Brian had enough beer so we offered him some of our egg nog. It must've been good stuff. He drank the whole bottle by himself. By about two-thirty, the fire still put out heat, but most of the wood was burned. And the egg nog was gone. It was time to bring our Burning Man celebration to an end.

Keith and I had a great time. Our whole concept of the celebration went better than we had thought, despite having the "gayest Burning Man" in town, with no arms, no less. We're already making plans for next year to ensure an even better celebration. I think I know how to make a better and taller Burning Man. Keith is working on compiling a Burning Man CD so all the songs will play in order without having to change CDs between songs. And I think next year I'm going to include some food. Stay tuned for next year's celebration....

If you want to see some of the excitement, hear the music mentioned, or, for some of our Internet friends who are curious what Keith and I and some of our friends look like, please feel free to watch the short video below. The middle of the movie includes live video footage of the Burning Man.

Problems getting to work Toddville style

2011-10-21T02:51:00.000-05:00

Since I could write a book about this, I decided to do a TTW radio broadcast instead. It's a lot faster than writing, although I'm not certain it's more entertaining. Perhaps I may write the story at a later date, but, for now, my narration should give you an idea of the problems we had getting to work.

Truth smacked us in the face

2011-09-20T22:19:00.001-05:00

Reading the paper this morning, reality hit us hard. Derek McCoy, President of the Maryland Family Alliance, spoke out against gay marriage at the Easton Volunteer Fire Department last week. Fearing Maryland may follow New York's legislative lead next year, he vowed to rally national organizations and the citizens of Maryland to defeat next year's planned bill. He also vowed to take the issue out of the legislative process and force a referendum so Marylanders can decide if same sex couples should be allowed to marry.

We've said it before in prior posts, but it's worth reiterating. When Keith and I moved here, we were scared to death of what the reaction of the local people would be. We held the stereotype that our neighbors would be dumb, macho rednecks living a mentatility of fifty years ago. If they knew we were gay, they would vandalize our home with nasty spray paint, if they didn't burn it down first, and for a Saturday night of fun, they'd beat us up and leave us in the marsh for dead.

Yeah, I know. What extreme thinking. Unfortunately, both Keith and I have known gay people who suffered such violence for no other reason than they were gay. We won't bore you with our stories, but you can see our fears of moving here weren't without basis.

For almost the first year we were here, we said nothing. When we were at Carolyn's Stonehouse, a couple of people would hint around about us being gay to see how we would respond. We simply blew them off without admitting we were a couple, nor denying it. Everyone knew we were a couple and bent over backwards to make us feel welcomed and accepted in the community. It became apparent to us we had to be honest and forthcoming with them.

The people down here in Toddville shattered our stereotype of the local people here and on Delmarva. They were very much with the times and accepting. Sure, a couple of people had a problem with the gay couple who moved in.  We could see their expressions when we walked into Mr. Pritchett's store or Carolyn's Stonehouse. But no one gave us a hard time.

After six years of going around town up in the high country to do our shopping, employees of the Food Lion, Royal Farms, Lowe's, Snow's Turn, and a couple of the restaurants we eat at fairly regularly have figured out we must be a couple.  We don't hold hands or kiss in public like a straight couple will do, but I reckon they know two guys don't hang around with each other as much as we do for as long as we have. They figure we must be more than friends. It's something we know they know, especially if one of us shows up without the other and the waitress or cashier will ask, "Where's your partner?"

We get a real charge out of the talking heads on TV or the radio who complain about the growing acceptance of gay people. "Why do they have to go around telling everyone they're gay?" they'll rhetorically ask.

Well, we told no one and still tell no one, yet everyone knows. So we have to rhetorically ask, "Why the Hell do you care?"

Back to last week's meeting with Derek McCoy, president of the Maryland Family Alliance.  Let's not gloss this one over. Anytime there's an organization with the word, family, in its name and the organization's purpose is to promote strong healthy families based on Christian values, you can be guaranteed it's members simply hate gay people. Derek McCoy and the Maryland Family Alliance is no exception.

Obviously, we take exception to Derek McCoy and the Maryland Families Alliance's comments and stance on the issue of same sex marriage. Keith and I will be starting our twelth year together. So far, we have stayed together almost twice as long as about half of the legally married couples who tied the knot when we first committed to each other. Derek McCoy, if you and your organization are about promoting strong families, why were those couples allowed to marry, only to bail ship, but we aren't allowed to marry?

At the time we got together, Keith's daughter was nine-years-old. Because we couldn't get married, I couldn't add his daughter to my health insurance plan.  As you push for legislation to make families stronger,do you consider the sons and daughters of gay people as being not as important as the children of straight people?

People in prison, people on the sex offenders list, people with a history of spousal abuse, and people with a history of child abuse or neglect can all legally get married. In your effort to create a positive environment to raise strong families, are you saying all these people are good role models, but gay people aren't?

Alcoholics and drug addicts can legally marry. Are you saying they're good role models for a strong family unit, but gay people aren't?

Almost half the marriages in this country end in divorce. Aside from trying to prevent same sex couples from marrying, what are you doing to prevent couples, who don't understand the meaning of "Until death do us part", from marrying or are you saying that a straight marriage ending in divorce is better than a life long marriage between a same sex couple?

In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled a marriage between two people is a basic, civil right. Since when did you and your organization decide the people should get to vote on which civil rights we'll let people have?

Much to Keith's chagrain, I sort of hope Maryland does take the issue of same sex marriage to the people to vote on. Whether it will pass or not is beside the point for me. If you really want to start letting people vote on which civil rights we allow to which groups of people, I have a whole list of referendums to start flooding our state legislature with. I guarantee you nor anyone affiliated with your organization will like any of them.

Oh wait. Up until about fifty years ago, we did vote on which civil rights people were or were not entitled to. It wasn't a pretty picture, was it?

For once, we would like to see someone from any homophobic organization out there, including the Maryland Families Alliance, publically answer any, preferably all, of the questions we posed above. For the casual reader of Toddville Tidewaters, we ask you ponder the questions we posed for yourself.

Suriving two weeks of an earthquake, hurricane, and tropical depression

2011-09-18T03:30:00.003-05:00

Three weeks ago, we had our worst nightmare forming out in the Carribean. A strong hurrican named Irene had its sights set for Delmarva. A week in advance, before it even hit Puerto Rico, we were on edge. A tropical storm or hurricane usually hits us within a week of Labor Day weekend. In fact, we moved into our house on Labor Day weekend, and the day we moved into our new home five years ago, tropical storm Ernesto welcomed us.

Since that time, Keith has pondered, every year, what would happen if a category one hurricane hit us on a path right up the Bay. Hazel was our last category one hurricane to hit and that was way back before either one of us were born. Fifty-seven years ago, to be exact. A major storm like Hazel is supposed to hit us every thirty to fifty years so we figured we were on borrowed time.

On Friday, the day before the Big Storm, I went out on a mission to get sandbags and some other storm prep supplies. I couldn't find a sandbag within a fifty mile radius. To top it off, I couldn't find a decent flashlight nor batteries to operate the little ones we already have. Knowing Irene was going to blow in with a vengeance, we realized too late the importance of being prepared way before you even know what might hit you.

I managed to get twelve bags of sand and bought my own bags to make my own sandbags. On the night of the storm, I sandbagged the doors and had a few more ready to fight the water anywhere else it could find a way in. We also got everything - and I mean everything - off the first floor. The big things that we left behind were ready to be moved when the tides came pouring through. We were set as much as available supplies and our budget would allow.

Saturday came and Irene began knocking on our door. She brought heavy rains and breezes, a warning that she could be vicious and gentle at the same time. All we could do was wait. Our flood tides don't happen during the storm. They always come as the storm exits.

So we waited - and drank beer. The original forcast had the brunt of the storm coming after midnight, but on the five o'clock news, the forcasters upped the time for the strongest part of the storm to hit after eight pm. That was only three hours away, and while we had a deluge the entire day, the winds were only breezy. We've had stronger nor'easters.

Keith's pessimism began to show through. "Where's the hurricane? The trees are supposed to be bending back and forth and things are supposed to be flying through the air."

In Keith's defense, his pessimism wasn't without foundation. Three days earlier, as we drove to work, he mentioned that he had never experienced a category one hurricane and he wanted to experience one. His grandmother talked about how bad Hazel was in '54 and Irene was his chance to experience what his grandmother had told him. He added, "I've never experienced a tornado or an earthquake, either. I don't want to experience a tornado, but I'd like to see one. And I'd want to feel an earthquake. I can't imagine what one feels like."

"If you want to feel an earthquake, you have to go to California, and I ain't going to California. If Apryl [his daughter] moves to Ohio, you can visit her during tornado season, but I ain't going," I replied.

That afternoon, I ate my lunch under the pine tree on the hill behind where I work, then lay down to take a nap. As I dozed off, the ground felt like jello and I instantly sat up, startled. I rocked as if I were sitting on a bowl of jello, and the hill felt as if it were going to slide down. The sensation only lasted a few seconds, but by the time I gathered my senses, I sat there wondering if there was something physically wrong with me or if we had an earthquake. I lit up a smoke and then I heard someone yell, "We had an earthquake!"

I breathed a sigh of relief knowing there was nothing wrong with me. Then I remembered Keith and our conversation this morning and wondered if he felt the quake he caused. Yes, he caused it. He wanted a blizzard and we got two back-to-back blizzards. He wanted the spring to dry out so his flowers would grow, and we had no rain for two months, plunging us into a moderate drought. He wanted to feel an earthquake, and we got a 5.8 quake. Mother Nature listens to Keith, but, unfortunately, gives him more than he asks for.

I felt the quake he asked for. He didn't. He was in his work van and didn't feel a thing. He's still upset about that. All I can say is everyone east of the Mississippi should brace themselves for another - and much larger - quake, one that drivers will even feel.

Now here we were, three hours away from the height of a category one hurricane, and all we had were breezes and lots of rain. "I missed the earthquake and now we ain't going to get the hurricane," he lamented.

I pulled up the weather observations for Bishops Head. Winds were steady at 23 mph, gusting to near 40. We weren't even in tropical strength, yet. Maybe Keith was right.

About an hour later, I refreshed the stats, and winds were steady at 39 mph, with gusts just over 50. I woke Keith up. "It's coming, Keith. We're in tropical strength now and the peak is still two hours away. Grab some beer and let's go."

Keith got excited until he looked outside. "It doesn't look all that much more windy."

I packed our beer and explained, "We'll go out to the docks and see the full force. We're too protected here with all the trees."

We headed out to the mouth of Tedious Creek, where we go fishing and crabbing. Normally, Tedious Creek is calm with little ripples lapping the shore. During storms, it turns into a viscious flood machine. When the winds blow right, the water is forced up the creek, over the land, and, at least once a year, into our yard. Now, keep in mind, we don't live on Tedious Creek. Tedious Creek is a mile or two from us. So when it comes into our yard, you can imagine the volume of Bay water the wind has pushed up the creek to reach us. It doesn't even have to be a strong wind. A steady, persistent breeze from the right direction is all it takes. The Mother's Day storm of '08 testifies to that.

We got down to the docks and the wind howled. Waves crashed on the shore. For the first time that day, we felt we were in a tropical storm. The good news was the waves slammed against the east side banks of Tedious Creek instead of blowing straight up the creek.

"We're not going to get flooded, Keith. Look where the waves are going."

"You're sure?"

"With the tides around here, no, the tides do what they want, but what I'm seeing is a good sign. The waves are wrong and high tide is still a good six hours away." (It's only an 11-second shot, but you can view the peak of our storm as seen at the mouth of Tedious Creek following the rest of the story.)

As darkness crept in and our beer supply dwindled, we went home. There's only so much wind and repetive wave action one can watch before you realize you're running out of beer. As we left the docks, the winds seemed to get less harsh. By the time we got home (ten minutes later), there was no storm. It wasn't even raining.

I pulled up the radar and it showed the storm passing us. The stats showed the steady wind speed at 23 mph with gusts to almost forty. The storm was over, which meant the flood tides were coming. Keith, already dejected because he didn't get to exprience a category one hurricane, had fallen fast asleep on the sofa. I didn't expect much of anything, so I let him sleep and headed out on my own.

The exiting storm brought in a bit stronger winds, I'm sure, but nothing stronger than what we had seen all day. The tides, however, were coming in. On my short trip around the block, the block being about a square mile radious of country roads, the usual low-lying parts of the road had water coming across.

I got home and woke Keith up. "The tides are coming in. Let's go fo a ride."

You're expecting something exciting to happen here, huh? Sorry, no. The flood tide was nothing more than a full moon tide. The low spots of the roads flooded and that's about it. Irene turned out to be a non-event. Our sandbags not only didn't hold back flood waters, they didn't even get wet.

About five days later, the remnants of tropical storm Lee hit us. I can cut this story short. Yes, we had more rain, maybe an inch or two, but no winds and no flooding. Lee had no effect on us.

Ironically, between the two storms, people living in the high country had way more problems than we had. One thing we learned is that no matter how much rain falls, the marsh asorbs it all. It's the winds partnering with the tides that flood us. Irene and Lee proved that. Between the two storms within the same week, we had well over a foot of rain. We had no flooding. Last spring, we had a nor'easter that dropped about an inch of rain, but the winds brought in a tide that flooded our house.

Keith missed our earthquake and our category one hurricane. He'll get over it. According to the Mayans, the end of the world is a little over a year from now. He figures that December 2012 will bring a major earthquake, hurricane, tornado, and probably an asteroid. He's already planned his time off and started thinking about an end-of-the-world party. If Mother Nature really does listen to him, we're in for some wild events next year.

Irene's peak fury

Tour Toddville Tidewater's Tombstones

2011-06-10T21:45:00.000-05:00

Keith and I are getting dangerous. Ok, I'm getting dangerous. I've been playing with Window's Movie Maker, again.

There is logic to my madness. Keith loves his music, particularly anything from the '50's, 60's, and early '70's. While he favors doo wop and surf, he is almost as equally entralled with the psychedelic '60's and the garage bands of that era. Lately, he's been into the cover craze mode. Many songs he loved and thought were the original, he is now discovering that someone else had done them before.

Ok, I started him on the cover craze. I put together a cd and included the song, Love Hurts, by Nazareth released in 1975. To rock and roll fans, we all know Nazareth was the original and Nazareth soared to fame with the number one song. Who would dare cover such a huge hit?

No one. The song, though, was not a Nazareth original. It was an Everly Brothers original released in 1963. The song never charted and, as much as Keith knows his oldies and loves The Everly Brothers, he never knew they originally did the song until I made the cd. He's now on a cover craze theme with six volumes made and counting. Oh, and Nazareth wasn't the first to take the song to number one, as Keith learned. While not a hit in this country, Roy Orbison did take it to number one in Australia.

Keith's cd collection is dang near large enough to rival any radio station's collection. He gets excited about his music and always laments that he wishes he could share it with others. After a little research, I figured our own radio station would be just too dang expensive.

Now that I took you through the meadow, over the hills, and across the ocean to Australia, let me bring you back to Toddville and the point of why I've been playing with Window's Movie Maker. Simply, I wanted to create a way for Keith to share his music that we could afford.

You Tube is affordable because it's free. I like free. My first attempt at how we could share our music resulted in a short clip dedicated to Keith, Experimenting with music videos. Of course, Keith loved the video, but it didn't seem impressive enough to motivate him to do his own clips to share his music with y'all.

This time, I learned a bit more and got a bit more creative. This past Memorial Day, we discovered a long forgotten cemetary that someone else remembered. After writing the article, I went through my files of pics and realized I could give everyone a tour of a few of the cemetaries down here. I also realized I could be a little more creative and, hopefully, inspire Keith to start sharing his music as he always wishes he could.

My idea for Toddville Tidewaters Radio (TTW Radio) was born. Sure, it's not a live broadcast, but y'all can select the segments you want to listen to. That's what we do when we listen to the radio in the car. We're always switching stations to hear something better. With TTW radio, you browse the titles of the segments and decide what you want to hear as if you're switching stations on the car radio.

So, under our new tag, TTW radio, you will find all of our programming. And, tonight, we bring you our second installment, "Tour Toddville Tidewaters Tombstones", featuring the song, Saudade, by Love and Rockets.

Memorial Day 2011

2011-05-31T23:00:00.002-05:00

Coming home from shopping, we passed Cedar Creek Road on the main road, Wesley Church Road. When the short way out of Toddville isn't flooded, this is the route we have taken for years. Cedar Creek Road is a simple dirt road that dead ends about a mile back at what we would assume is Cedar Creek.

We've been down Cedar Creek Road hundreds of times. We tried fishing, but caught nothing. Another old timer fishing there claimed he caught lots of catfish, but that might have been the typical fish tale enhanced with beer. He had left, but we stayed awhile trying to catch something. About a half hour later, we called it quits and headed out. On our way, there was the old timer, cold beer in hand and truck stuck in the marsh. He was waiting for his son to come tow him out. The road doesn't go quite the same way as one sees it when they've had a few too many beers - as the old timer found out. We think the one too many beers also had something to do with his catching a lot of fish that obviously weren't there.

Mostly, we love going down Cedar Creek Road a night. It leads out to the wide open marsh and we get an unlimited view of the night sky. We've enjoyed many meteor showers and plenty of more nights just gazing at the vastness of space while our dogs run around doing dog things.

In all these years, we never knew there was a cemetary right on the corner where Cedar Creek Road meets Wesley Church Road. The corner was too overgrown with bacchus bushes, greenbriars, poison ivy, and phragmites.

Someone knew that cemetary was there. Sometime late Saturday or early Sunday, the day before Memorial Day, they cleared the corner out to reveal the gravesite of the Insley family. They placed a single flag in front of the fallen tombstone of William Insley, whom we believe was the father of the family. Behind this plot stands a tall tombstone of a twenty-eight-year-old Captain William T. H. Insley, whom we believe was the son. A single flag was placed in front of his tombstone, a silent tribute to someone who served our country 120 years ago.

To the left of the Captain's grave are two small graves. The tombstones are too weathered to be readable, but the size of the plots and tombstones lead us to believe two children, newborns or, at most, one or two years old, lie here. To the right of the Captain's grave is where we believe the mother of all three lies.

We don't know who the Insleys were nor do we know any Insleys currently living here. But someone remembered.

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Spring has been a wild ride!

2011-05-08T01:12:00.000-05:00

If there is one natural event that defines how we live down here in Toddville, unquestionably that event is our tides.  To most people, tides are the natural cycle of rising and falling waters that follow a predictable, roughly six to eight hour cycle and are strongest during a full moon. Spend some time down here in Toddville, and you will learn tides are everything except predictable.

When we first moved here, Keith and I tried to learn all we could about the tides. To our surprise, the watermen born and raised here knew as much about the tides as we do. That fact didn't strike us as any more odd than the number of watermen down here who don't know how to swim. We decided we had to learn about the tides ourselves.

Here's what we know: tides come in and they go out. How far they come in and how far they go out can be explained only after they've done their cycle. In general, fall and spring tides are the highest and always peak during a full moon cycle. They also peak during the new moon cycle, but not at the level of a full moon cycle. And they don't necessarily peak at the times listed on the tide tables. Wind speed, direction, and duration plays a key role.

We're in the middle of our spring tides. With two exceptions, each lasting about a week or less, we haven't had our spring tides. The past two springs, the short way out of Toddville was flooded from about the middle to end of March until about the end of May. Last year, the spring tides persisted until July. We have since learned the long spring tide cycle was due to strong currents out in the Atlantic that affected tides all up and down the East Coast. This year, we haven't had the spring tides. Two coastal storms brought in the tides for a few days, but the normal spring tides lasting several weeks have been nonexistent.

In fact, by April 16th, we had no spring tides. The tides were actually running below normal, almost like winter tides. (Winter tides are our lowest.)  On April 16th, a strong coastal storm moved through, bringing strong easterly winds from Friday night through Saturday night. We had no doubt we were in for a strong tide, but because the tides were running so low prior to the storm, we weren't worried about our house flooding.

The morning tide was a flood tide, but one of the normal spring nuisance tides. Keith and I left for town to do some shopping and were gone for most of the day. When we returned, what should have been our low tide was still a near flood tide. Those persistent, strong easterly winds never let the water flow out to the Bay.

Around eleven-thirty at night, the winds calmed to a dead still. We saw no sign of flooding and peak high tide was only an hour and a half away. We felt sure that we were safe from flooding. The two hours before peak high tide and the two hours after peak high tide are the critical times. The winds were calm and no sign of flooding meant we had to be safe.

About one in the morning, the peak high tide time, I let the dogs out and there still was no sign of flooding. The dogs and I came back in (we go out with the dogs because Kiwi is high on the owls' menu list) and I confidently told Keith we had nothing to worry about with possible flooding.

An hour and a half later, I looked outside.  Water surrounded our house and was rising fast. It came, literally, within a hair's breadth of breaching our front door threshold. Unfortunately, where the original house joins the extension added in the seventies sits a little lower than our front door and water began seeping through.

Since it was nighttime, we can't say for sure how extensive this flooding was. Judging by what we could see, we reckon this flood was worse than the Mother's Day flood of '08. After that flood, we did some changes in our yard to allow the water to run more freely and obviously that helped on this flood. Instead of the whole bottom floor of the original part of the house suffering water damage, only a small part in the living room received water damage this time around.

We're back to redesigning the yard a bit. Flood insurance will help us raise the low part of the house where it joins the extension. Maybe the next tidal flood will just flow on by our house without incidence - at least to the house. Our gardens suffered under the salt water inundation. One thing we all agree on down here: the tides will go wherever and whenever they damned well please and there's no stopping them. All we can do is mitigate the damage.

Oh, and now we understand why the watermen born and raised down here don't understand the tides. The tides have a mind of their own and just when you think you understand them, they go and do something different.
© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

29 April Around Dorchester

2011-04-29T10:43:00.001-05:00

MAY 3, 2011

Main Street Gallery Meet and Greet With Chesapeake Film Festival 6:00 p.m. 413 Muir Street, Cambridge, MD 21613. Chesapeake Film Festival welcomes Cambridge and Dorchester County film lovers and the business community to the Main Street Gallery on May 3 for a meet and greet session with the film festival staff. You will hear about the plans for this year's film festival, the goals of the educational outreach program, what to expect for Cambridge, and how you can help with the continued success of the film festival and its objectives. Please come and join in the excitement of another year of great independent films and the filmmakers who create them. Staff members will be available to discuss volunteer and sponsorship opportunities. FREE For additional information, email at info@chesapeakefilmfestival.com or call 410.822.1012. http://www.chesapeakefilmfestival.com/

May 4, 2011

Veterans Recognition Committee Meeting 6:00 p.m. at Pleasant Day Adult Day Care Center, Route 16, Cambridge Maryland. Please join us; everyone is welcome in planning the annual tribute, which takes place in September 2011.

May 5, 2011

Cambridge Mainstreet Farmers' Market 3:00 p.m. - 6:00 p.m. The market is open every Thursday until the end of October in downtown Cambridge at the corner of Muir & Academy St. Cambridge, MD 21613 Buy fresh local produce, fruits, and meats from local farmers. Craft vendors, plants, and baked goods available as well. Every Thursday May 5 through October 13/ For information: http://www.cambridgemainstreet.com/, office@cambridgemainstreet.com, 443-366-3741.

May 6 & 7, 2011

Hot and Tangy BBQ Chicken at Linkwood Salem VFC 10:00 a.m. till? Rt. 50 - 9 miles east of Cambridge in Linkwood, Maryland 21835 1/2 BBQ chicken with bread $6.50. 1/2 BBQ Chicken with bread with Baked Beans & Macaroni Salad $8.50. Also 16oz. cup Sweet Tea $1.00. Feel free to call-in your orders!!! 410-221-0169

May 6, 2011

Happy Hour is Back at Layton's Chance! 5:00 p.m. at Layton's Chance Vineyard and Winery 4225 New Bridge Rd. Vienna MD http://www.laytonschance.com/ 1 st & 3 rd Fridays at the winery. Live music, spiced wine, Frappe Vino and all your favorite wines! Buffet includes homemade chili, hot wings and fresh veggies for only $7. Music starts at 5, winery closes at 8:00 p.m. This evening: JohnE Wa2C

May 7, 2011

Visit Emilys Produce Mother's Day Weekend Family on the Farm 8:00 a.m. - 2206 Church Creek Rd. Cambridge, MD 21613. "Kyle's Farm Fun" activity area, Coty Jones Photography will be taking "Pictures in the Patch" So come ready for a special family photo. 410-228-3512 Emily's Produce is now open 7 days a week through October! http://www.emilysproduce.com/ "Moms" can finish the weekend at Emily's Produce on Sunday with a dish of FREE Strawberry Shortcake...an annual tradition! Get ready for a weekend full of fun along with their own LOCAL Strawberries too! 443-421-0789 visit their website: http://www.emilysproduce.com/ or on facebook: www.facebook.com/emilysproduce Emily's produce is open every day through the October!

Chesapeake Classics Grand Opening/Ribbon Cutting At Their New Location 12:30 p.m. 300 Sunburst Highway, Cambridge, MD 21613 410-228-6509

Lighthouses of Dorchester Town Hall Event 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m. Dorchester Visitors' Center 2 Rose Hill Road Cambridge, MD 21613. FREE All ages are welcome. Guest speaker from US lighthouse society, Chesapeake Chapter, light refreshments, historical displays. Come hear about lighthouses serving Dorchester County since the 1870's, and learn about the progress of the Choptank River Lighthouse Replica project. Also Lighthouse book signing by the Author of "Keep Your Glow On".

Cambridge Mainstreet's SPRING FLING! 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 a.m.At the Cambridge Yacht Club. Mad Money, Music, Food and Fun! Watch for details at http://www.cambridgemainstreet.com/ and www.facebook.com/cambridgemainstreet Tickets are $50. Call ahead to reserve yours now! 443.477.0843

Terry Allen Gives Bird Walk at Blackwater NWR 8:00 a.m. 2431 Key Wallace Drive, Cambridge, MD. At the Blackwater NWR Visitor Center (their temporary location at the head of Wildlife Drive) and usually lasts 3 to 4 hours. The Birding party is usually in car pools, stopping at various points around the refuge's Wildlife Drive. Binoculars and field guides are recommended, and they will gladly lend you one of theirs. No fee or registration. Please call 410-228-2677 for more information.

1 Hour Walking Tour of Cambridge Historic District 1 11:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m. $8 Adults, Children under 12 free when accompanied by an adult. Meet your colonial costumed guide at Long Wharf at the foot of High Street. Free parking available. www.weca@cambridge.org. 410-901-1000.

Skipjack Sail on the Nathan of Dorchester 1:00 p.m .- 3:00 p.m. Long Wharf, Cambridge MD. 21613. Adults $30; children 6-12 $10, under 6 free. Reservations: 410-228-7141 or info@skipjack-nathan.org http://www.skipjack-nathan.org/

2011 Six Pillars Century-Blackwater Bicycle Tour Character Counts Mid-Shore
6:00 a.m. Check in begins at Great Marsh Park, Cambridge, MD. 21613. This bicycle tour starts at Great Marsh Park in Cambridge. The majority of the ride is through the picturesque Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge. 4 ride choices, including a 11 mile family ride, a 37 mile fun and fitness ride a 56 mile Ironman Eagleman 70.3 Course, and a 100 mile Century Course. Rain or shine and the cost of registration is $55 through March 31, and $65 per person through May 1. Registration for family ride is $40. For on-line registration and info please go to http://www.6pillarscentury.org/. 410-829-0436 or asteward@goeaston.net

May 9, 2011

The Early Bird Gets the Brunch At Adkins Arboretum Adventure/to Benefit Choptank Habitat 8:00 a.m. Starting at the Arboretum in Ridgley (Rain date Tuesday, May 10) Cost $65 per person. Hosts: Anne Croker and Margaret Worrall. 12 lucky enthusiasts will enjoy an early morning bird walk with Dr. Wayne Bell, noted bird expert and co-founder of the Washington College Center for Environment and Society. A sumptuous brunch at the home of Anne & Doug Croker will make for a lovely beginning to a spring day. To sign up for this event please call 410-476-3204

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

April 22 Around Dorchester County

2011-04-22T13:52:00.001-05:00

Looking for something to do around Dorchester County? Check out these upcoming events: (Reprinted with permission from the Dorchester County Chamber of Commerce)

April 23, 2011:

One Hour Walking Tour of Historic High Street 11:00 a.m. And Continues every Saturday (weather permitting) April through October. Adults $8, Children under 12 years of age free (when accompanied by an adult) Meet your colonial costumed tour guide at Long Wharf at the foot of High Street, Cambridge, MD 21613. Free parking available. Reservations not necessary, but appreciated. 410-901-1000 http://www.cambridgemd.org/

Easter Egg Hunt at Layton's Chance Today! 2:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m. 4225 New Branch Rd. Vienna MD 21869 Bring the family to the winery for an afternoon of crafts and games. They'll have an Easter Egg Hunt with candy and prizes (including something for the adults!) http://www.laytonschance.com/ 410-228-1205

April 24, 2011:

Harry Armistead Gives Bird Walk at Blackwater NWR 8:00 a.m. 2431 Key Wallace Drive, Cambridge, MD. At the Blackwater NWR Visitor Center (their temporary location at the head of Wildlife Drive) and usually lasts 3 to 4 hours. The Birding party is usually in car pools, stopping at various points around the refuge's Wildlife Drive. Binoculars and field guides are recommended, and they will gladly lend you one of theirs. No fee or registration. Please call 410-228-2677 for more information.

Easter Brunch at Clearview at Horns Point 11:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. 5650 Country Club Rd. Cambridge, MD 21613 410-221-0521. $25 per person, Children (10 and under are 1/2 price) - $12.50. Featuring Eggs Benedict, Bacon, Sausage, Waffles, Home fries, Smoked Salmon, Steamed Shrimp, Veg. of the day, Chicken Potstickers, Spiral Ham, Fruit, Desserts, Caesar Salad, Rolls and butter. 1 complimentary glass of champagne or mimosa. Reservations are Required. http://www.clearviewathornspoint.com/

April 27-29, 2011

Country School Flower Market Easton, MD 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. 716 Goldsborough St. 410-822-1935 Annuals, geraniums, perennials, herbs and vegetables. A garden gazebo features accessories, baskets, ceramic and clay pots and fun garden related surprises. Select a ceramic pot or bring one in of your own and they'll plant in it for you! http://www.countryschool.org/

April 27-30, 2011

St. Paul's Flower Fair St. Paul's United Methodist Church 205 Maryland Avenue, Cambridge, MD. 21613 Join us during our annual event and start your garden growing with flowers, seedlings, bedding plants (flowers, vegetables and herbs) and hanging baskets. April 27 & 30, at St. Paul's United Methodist Church, 205 Maryland Avenue in Cambridge. Delicious crab cake and oyster sandwiches, clam strips, hot dogs, french fries, homemade candy and baked goods, funnel cakes, homemade ice cream, and more. This years events include a silent auction and an indoor yard sale, Thursday night dinner in the Fellowship Hall, beginning at 4:30pm with music following. You won't want to be late to the Yard Sale that will open on Wednesday morning at 8am for all you early birds. Wednesday hours, for plant sales only: 10am 7pm. All booths will open Thursday and Friday: 10AM to 7PM. And, NEW THIS YEAR - OUR FAMILY FRIENDLY SATURDAY HOURS are from 10am - 3pm. You won't want to miss out! For more details call 410-228-1424 or http://www.stpaulscambridge.com/

April 28, 2011

Emily's Produce Opens Today! 8:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. 2206 Church Creek Rd. Cambridge, MD 21613. Fresh strawbberry pies, their own fresh picked strawberries, beautiful hanging basket, flower planters and a BRAND NEW LOOK for the market. 410-228-3512 http://www.emilysproduce.com/

Learn More about the Bay at Horns Point Laboratory Aquaculture and Restoration Ecology Laboratory (AREL) Lecture Hall. 3:30 p.m. - 4:30 p.m. "How an Estuary Works" Bill Boicourt. Suggested text book for outside reading during the series: Life in the Chesapeake Bay

Hurrricanes and the Chesapeake Bay Region 3:00 p.m. HSTC Auditorium 17 2S. Washington St. Easton, MD 21601. Sponsoring Organization: Talbot County Historical Society. Cost FREE. Rick Schwartz will discuss his findings and show track maps and photos from his seven years of research on 400 years of mid-Atlantic hurricane history.

April 30, 2011

Free Skipjack Sails on the Nathan of Dorchester During Oxford Day 9:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. In Oxford. No advance reservations accepted. Sailing from the Oxford ferry dock. www.skipjack-nathan.org

One Hour Walking Tour of Historic High Street 11:00 a.m. And Continues every Saturday (weather permitting) April through October. Adults $8, Children under 12 years of age free (when accompanied by an adult) Meet your colonial costumed tour guide at Long Wharf at the foot of High Street, Cambridge, MD 21613. Free parking available. Reservations not necessary, but appreciated. 410-901-1000 http://www.cambridgemd.org/

Celebrate The Return Of The Shad Festival In Vienna, MD 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m. On the banks of the Nanticoke River. Featuring events, demonstrations, vendors, music and the cooking of the shad. Cooking begins at 5:00 a.m., and the finished product will be available to the public at 11:00 a.m.. Shad planking demo by the Chicone Club. Sponsored by the Chicone Ruritans. 410-901-6124 ext. 22 for more information.

May 01, 2011

Gather At The River Today at "Old Trinity" in Church Creek 12:30 p.m. Old Trinity Church Road, Church Creek, Maryland 21622. Regional outdoor service and picnic sponsored by the Dorchester Episcopal Churches. All are invited to join in this celebration of Soil and Water Stewardship Week. Observed since 1955, Stewardship Week is one of the largest conservation-related observances in the United States. Speaker is Dee Zeller, Director of Camp Wright. All are invited to bring a dish to share. Chairs will be provided. Old Trinity Churchyard, 8 miles west of the Cambridge Hyatt on Route 16.

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Experimenting with music videos

2011-04-11T10:26:00.001-05:00

We've made our first music video. Ok, more aptly stated, we made our first music slide show. We're fairly certain the video isn't headed for VH-1 Top Video Countdown nor will it get a Grammy or Oscar nomination, but we certainly won't object to anyone out there making the suggestion.

I made the video to show Keith we can at least do simple slide shows set to music. Keith loves his music and spends hours compiling his own CDs. The next logical step for him is to start compiling videos so that not only can he listen to his music, but also watch it. Somewhere down the road, we'll master the animation software we downloaded (Blender) and maybe be able to afford a digital cam to produce live videos. In the mean time, a simple slide show suffices as a good start to learning how to make videos.

The video documents the changes in our yard from a sloppy, swampy mess to a decent piece of land over the last five years despite all the challenges Mother Nature has thrown at us. All of the pictures in the slide show were taken down here. Now hold on to your seat. We have a special guest appearance by Daphne, our tree frog that has made the side of our house her home. Hey, what good is a music video if you don't get a big-named star to make a guest appearance?

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Shop Local Delmarva

2011-04-04T10:48:00.000-05:00

Once again, we've been neglectful of this site. I reckon Keith and I simply lead rather mundane lives and there isn't always something to write about.

We are coming out of the winter doldrums and now we spend a lot of time trying to fix the yard up so we can grow something - anything. Between heavy clay, water less than a foot down from fall to late spring, and the periodic flooding with salt water from the Bay, growing anything isn't just a challenge - it's dang near impossible. But every year we try.

We've also been very busy doing things on the computer. Every fall to spring, Keith lives on the computer getting his music compiled onto CDs. I've been busy building Shop Local Delmarva, learning You Tube, and trying my dangdest to figure out movie making and animation. Shop Local Delmarva is my contribution to help our locally owned businesses maintain a competitive presence on the Internet with the nationally owned chains. Learning You Tube and animation is both Keith's and my desire to take our CD making skills to the next level - making music videos of how we interpret the songs we listen to.

With spring here and us being more active, we'll try not to be neglectful of this site. And the faster we learn this movie making and animation software, the sooner we'll be able to add a new, and hopefully entertaining, dimension to Toddville Tidewaters. If anyone has any tips on animation software and how to use it, please share.

I tried Synfig and frustratingly deleted it. I am now trying Blender. So far, I think I'm about as smart as an oyster when it comes to this animation stuff. I had no idea so much went into even the most simple animation sequence. I can't wait for the day when the computer gee-whiz kids figure out how to hook my brain up to the computer and all I have to do is think of the movie or animation I want and the program would automatically compile it. Mr. Gates, if you're reading this, please send me the beta software and I'll test it out for you. I know someone has to be working on telepathic software. You are, aren't you?

Now that I got you to read this far, I'll close with a sales pitch. Shop Local Delmarva!

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Spring is right around the corner!

2011-01-04T08:14:00.000-05:00

Spring is right around the corner, or so three little birds and two squirrels told me yesterday.

I'm working the third shift this week, and tried to sleep yesterday. No one wanted me to sleep. Dogs want to go out. Phone rings. Heating oil man comes. Each time, I'd wake up and then it'd take about another hour before I could go back to sleep.

During one of my sleep interruptions, I looked out the bathroom window, and there was the first lone robin of the season. He performed his tell-tale scuttle: head up listening intently; head down and quick shuffle a foot or so across the grass; stop with head up listening intently; then head down and another quick run. He stopped at a puddle of rain water to drink. As he drank, not one, but two bluebirds flew down to join him for a drink at the watering hole. They were beautiful sky blue with a patch of ruddy bronze on their throats.

The first of the spring birds have arrived so spring has to be right around the corner.

As if the treat of seeing the two bluebirds and robin weren't enough, two squirrels visited the bird feeder, but these weren't your every day squirrels. I am almost positive they were our endangered Delmarva Fox Squirrels. They were huge and sported a tail almost as big as their bodies. The one on the feeder kept his tail straight out and the one on the ground kept her tail flat on her back, curling slightly at the tip to the back of her neck.

I assume they were male and female since they were together and Delmarva Fox Squirrels give birth in February or early March. If they were truly Delmarva Fox Squirrels, then they are preparing to mate and nest now, which surely is another sign that spring is right around the corner.

Keith was at work so he missed the exciting news. "Robins," he said, "stay practically year-round now-a-days, thanks to global warming, and our woods are too thick for Delmarva Fox Squirrels."

He's skeptical, but I put binoculars by the upstairs window and the downstairs window so he can see it all for himself. I know they were Delmarva Fox Squirrels.

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

Scaring up the ghosts of Dorchester County

2010-12-30T12:52:00.001-05:00

Every community has their ghost stories. Dorchester county is no different. The most famous ghost story of Dorchester County is the one of Big Liz. Back during the Civil War times, a local farmer here supported the Confederate States by funneling money to the Confederate army. Lincoln, of course, had an extremely strong grip on Maryland because, if Maryland were to become a Confederate state, Washington DC would be surrounded by the Confederacy. Even though, back in those times, the Eastern Shore of Maryland was geographically isolated, the importance of keeping Maryland, including the Eastern Shore, with the Union was paramount.

The Union Army figured out what this farmer over on the Eastern Shore in Dorchester County was doing and set out to put an end to his finacing of the Confederate Army. The farmer caught wind of the impending Union invasion and acted on hiding his endeavors.

In the middle of the night, he took all of his wealth and silver and gold and hauled it out to Green Briar Swamp. He took with him his trusted slave, Big Liz. Big Liz was a well-built, huge woman with a heart of gold. She was the only person the farmer trusted and he needed a trusted person to bury his silver and gold. Big Liz dug a deep hole for the treaure and as she began to climb out of the hole, the farmer whacked her head off with a machete. No one but he could know where the treasure lay.

Legend has it that the farmer never did retrieve his gold and it still lays buried somewhere in Green Briar Swamp. Many have searched for it, but it has never been found. No one, however, searches for it after sunset. Big Liz guards the treasure and her headless body can be seen tromping through the swamp carrying her head by her side.

At night, if you park your truck on Decoursey Bridge, turn off the engine, and say "Big Liz" three times, your truck won't start until sunrise. If Big liz is in a testy mood that night, you won't stay in your truck, either. When you see her coming towards you carrying her head like a pocketbook, you'll be out of that truck and miles down the road faster than a race horse running from a swarm of hornets. And you won't dare go back for your truck until sunrise anyways.

I'll get back to Big Liz, but first I need to tell you about our own ghost right here in Toddville. The night Keith and I moved in, unknown to me, Keith had broken down on the other side of the bridge. I knew he was ok because he had his sister with him and his mom following him. I figured something happened and he would get here when he got here.

Night fell and I was tired. I decided to lay down on the floor in the living room to catch a nap. I was very tired from the long day and needed to rest before heading back to Baltimore if Keith still hadn't shown up. As I lay on the floor, the old house creaked and groaned like old houses do. I don't know why, but I suddenly got the impression that a young girl had died in the house many years ago and she was wandering around the house making all the creaks and groans. After fifteen minutes, I knew I wasn't going to sleep so I got up and headed out to look for Keith.

It's too late to make a long story short, but to make it shorter, I never told anyone about the creaks and groans and how my imagination conjured up a child ghost. No point in telling anyone, really. Anyone's imagination can run wild when they are alone, at night, in a strange house. That's all it was - my imagination getting the best of me.

Two years later, Keith woke up and told me of the ghost that visited him in the night. She was a young girl dressed in old garb like maybe from around 1900 or so. She stood by the side of the bed and stared at him. He tried to wake me up, but he couldn't move and when he tried to call my name, no sound except a slight gasping sound came out. I slept through it all.

Over the course of the year, the ghost appeared to Keith several more times, usually around three in the morning. Each time, he got braver and fought hard to yell my name so I could see her. I slept through it all. A couple of times he mustered the strength to grab her, but she'd fade away before he could reach her. Once he did feel the coat like garment she wore. It was rough to the feel, like wool.

One night, she came right for him. Fear paralyzed him. She stopped inches from him and he caught a glimpse of her face. She was sullen and ghastly. She lurched forward to him and through him. His body twitched with the contact and then he was awake staring at the ceiling. I slept through that, too.

On her next visit, Keith was determined to grab and hold onto her and then wake me up so I could see her myself. I always said he dreamed this ghost and he wanted to prove to me she was real. He even felt her lay in bed next to him one night when I was at work. He couldn't possibly be dreaming something so real.

One night she appeared beside his bed. He grabbed her by the arm and held on tight with both hands. He called for me to wake up, but she looked at him sad, yet scared, and faded away. I still didn't wake up until the next morning and he had to tell me what happened.

That was her last visit a little over a year ago and she hasn't been back since. Keith began to accept the fact that he had been, indeed, dreaming. The first night he dreamed of the ghost, the experience was so real to him, his mind latched onto the idea of the dream being a real ghost and recreated the visits several times over the course of the year. The ghost was nothing more than his mind playing tricks on him.

Which brings us back to Big Liz. We drove over Decoursey Bridge many times and I told him of the legend of Big Liz. When we were in Barnes and Noble, I even pulled out a book about ghosts in Maryland and showed him the legend in print.

"It's a story these dumbass rednecks concocted to entertain themselves, " he scoffed. "There is no such thing as ghosts."

Deep down, he didn't really believe that. One night coming home, out of the blue he said, "Let's take a little detour to that bridge to see Big Liz. Everyone else has seen a ghost and I want to see a real ghost for a change."

Reluctantly, I agreed. It's not that I believe there are ghosts out there, but I firmly believe we shouldn't tempt the unknown and one can't get more unknown than death. "If the car don't start, though," I said, "I'm booking it on down the road and I'm not waiting for Big Liz to get my feet a running."

It was a dark, moonless night in the middle of Greenbriar Swamp, but, of course, all good ghost stories take place on dark, moonless nights. We stopped the car, turned off the lights, and shut down the engine. "Ok, Keith, say it three times."

Keith looked at me nervously. "No. You say it."

"Hell no. If Big Liz is going to get mad at anyone, it's not going to be me. You want her; you say it."

There was an awkward moment of silence. Finally, Keith mustered his courage. "Big Liz. Big Liz. Big Liz."

"Ok, let's see if the car starts and get ready to run if it doesn't," I said. With one hand on the door latch, I turned the key with the other hand. The engine started right up.

"Well, so much for that legend," I said nonchalantly.

I drove to the other side of the bridge, turned around, and headed home.

"Go slow over the bridge. I want to see Big Liz." Keith poked his head out the window eagerly looking for any sign of Big Liz.

Half way over the bridge, Keith shouted out the window, "Why don't you bring your fat Black ass out here, Big Liz?"

"Keith! What are you doing? Don't tempt her."

"I want to see a ghost, damn it and if I piss her off, maybe she'll come." He poked his head back out the window and shouted, "Your fat ass ain't so tough now, is it Scaredy Cat Liz. C'mon, I dare you to bring that ugly head of yours around."

I stepped on the gas. "That's it. I've had enough. There is no Big Liz and no ghosts."

"I told you it was a dumbass legend made up by dumbass rednecks to entertain themselves," Keith said with a bit of disappointment in his voice.

"Of course it's a legend, but tell you what. I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch because if you pissed Big Liz off enough and she follows us home, she's taking your skinny White ass and leaving me alone."

The night came and went without incidence and many more nights came and went without incidence. About four or five months of nights have come and gone without incidence. I think it's safe to say that Big Liz didn't follow us home.

The other night I asked Keith if the young girl ghost has ever been back. He said no because there is no such thing as ghosts.

"No, there is, but you scared them away. You grabbed the one in our bedroom and then cussed the other one out in the swamp. Ghosts are supposed to scare us, but somehow, you've managed to scare them. They're not used to that. I reckon we won't be seeing any ghosts for a long, long time because word is out in the spook world, 'don't mess with that Keith guy in Toddville. He's a scary dude.'"

"If she does come back, I'm going to hold onto her as tight as I can and, damn it, this time you will wake up and see her."

If that day ever comes, I will have to finish this story. Until then, I reckon there really aren't any ghosts running around to scare us. Only our wild imaginations do that.

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

We're in the middle of the fun time of the year

2010-12-07T12:50:00.000-05:00

Around the middle to end of September, the sika deer announce the beginning of the fun time of year down here. September is the beginning of the rutting season and the male sikas bleat a woefully sad song to the females. If there were words to his song, they would be something along the lines of "I'm so lonely. Where are you, my love?"

The gentleman we let hunt on our land came down to fill his deer feeder up and he was telling me how the sikas proudly announce their terrotory to the other sikas. The sika's song is a defiant warning to other male sikas to stay away - the does in his territory are his and that's that. When we told him how we interpretted the song, he laughed. "I never heard it that way, but I guess it can sound sad and lonely. But trust me. it's a warning song, not a lonely pleading."

People who have never heard the song have been known to call the police to report a woman crying for help somewhere in the marsh. Even when they are told it's a sika's mating call, they still believe a woman is in trouble somewhere. No deer could sound that desperate and in so much pain.

No matter what the song really means in sika language, it does announce the beginning of the hunting season and the beginning of a season's worth of fun antics the city boys bring to the marsh. The fun antic that occurs every year without fail is the city hunter's underestimation of the dangers of our roads. There is little room for error when driving on our roads. One miscalculation of the bend in the road can catapult one into the marsh. Even if you miss the marsh and end up in the ditch, you're stuck. And the solid shoulder to park your truck on usually isn't all that solid. The embankment can give way and you slide right on into the ditch.

So far, it's been a quiet season for the truck-stuck-in-the-marsh event. I've only seen one stuck truck. Of course, it has been a relatively dry fall so the shoulders and other off-the-road parking spots are relatively stable.

Going to Carolyn's Stonehouse where the hunters gather for a beer is a lot of fun. If you thought fishermen told fish tales, you should listen to the hunters' tales. Apparently, we have the biggest bucks in the country and they all get away because the hunter didn't have a clear shot. I've never seen these prized, 10- and 12-point bucks, but every hunter has seen at least one.

You can tell who the real hunters are, though. They're the ones who come in all muddy from head to toe. We're in a marsh. If you're hunting, you're going to get muddy. One hunter boasting of the big buck that got away looked as if he were the centerfold for the GQ edition of Field & Stream. Brand smacking new camoflage hunting outfit neatly pressed, creased, and starched. I could comb my hair in the reflection on his boots. I'm sure this city boy thought he was "it", but for us locals, we had a good laugh at the hunter wannabe.

As I headed out to work the other night, up in the high country, a hunter parked his SUV alongside the road. No doubt he was in the adjoining woods sitting in a deer stand waiting for one of those many prized bucks every hunter boasts about seeing. On the other side of the road, two fully mature whitetail does galloped across the field away from the woods where the hunter lay waiting. Herding the does away was a proud, 8-point buck. I reckon you don't become an 8-point buck by hanging out in the woods where the hunter lay waiting.

No doubt the hunter later showed up at Carolyn's Stonehouse and boasted about the 12-point buck that got away. I know, and the 8-point buck and his two does know, that he probably never even seen a deer the whole time he sat in his stand. Otherwise, he would've boasted about the real 8-point buck that outsmarted him.

The hunting season is only half over. I'm sure more entertaining events are in the making. I can't wait to see the next episode....

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

When it rains, it pours - Part II

2010-12-03T02:43:00.000-05:00

Wow! I can't believe over two years have past since my last post. So much time and so much has happened, I couldn't possibly get it all down with the detail I would want. My apologies, but here's the condensed version:

The rain did stop and the flood tide poured in. The car was fine, but our house wasn't. Our flood insurance was a blessing. The next month, Minnow died. The summer came and ended and I was still unemployed save for a part time job. In September, our friends down the road gave us Kiwi, our only bright spot since I was laid off in Dec 07.

Fast forward to the present: I'm still unemployed save for a part time job, but not the one I had two years ago. Somehow, we have managed to hold onto our house and I keep looking for a new career. It will come, I'm sure. In the mean time, I have created a website, http://www.shoplocaldelmarva.com/. Because of my lapse in a meaningful career, I made the site for three reasons. First, I truly believe our locally owned businesses need our support or we'll lose our rural identity. Second, by creating the site, I can show potential employers my real abilities. And thirdly, if my efforts are well-received, we could use the little extra money the site may generate.

Well, that's a fast recap of the last two years. My promise for the new year is to post on this blog at least once a month and not let my stories get old and stale. Please stay tuned....

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

When it rains, it pours – Part I

2008-08-11T18:43:00.003-05:00

A lot has been happening, basically since Christmas. I was laid off my job and have been unemployed since. Today, my last unemployment check sits in my mailbox and I don’t know what will happen after that. I only mention this in case a local employer is reading this blog. I’m still looking for a career. Please email me.

The little job wanted ad aside, let’s get down to the real gist of what is long overdue for a posting.

A chain of events started on Mother’s Day, with what will undoubtedly become known as the Mother’s Day storm of ’08. For a couple of weeks, the tides ran extremely high. The spring tides were in and the moon was full. Low tide was higher than our normal high tide.

Mother’s Day was a beautiful, warm Sunday with the sun shining brightly all day. If there were any flaws to the day, it was the constant easterly winds blowing in at around 20 mph with gusts over thirty. Easterly winds always bode bad news for Toddville. The winds blow the tides in, even when they are supposed to be going out.

Keith and I spent the day planting our new plants around the pond. Having any sort of garden down here is a challenge. If the salts don’t get to the plants, the constantly wet soil will. From fall through spring, the soil is like a sopping wet sponge. Many plants can’t tolerate hydric soils, as we are slowly learning.

Around five o’ clock in the evening, we finished our planting and headed to Cambridge for dinner and our weekly grocery shopping. By the time we headed home, the rain came down in sheets and the winds picked up to a steady 30+ mph. The stretch of Maple Dam Road cutting through the marshland began to flood.

Unfortunately, we discovered that when I hit the first stretch of water at 40 mph. The car’s battery light came on. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, so I kept driving. We were in the middle of nowhere and a good fifteen miles from home. As I turned onto Andrews Road, I saw steam coming out from under the hood. Keith immediately noticed the temperature gauge running hot.

I shut the car off to let it cool down. I popped open the hood, but I’m no mechanic and only knew that I was looking at an engine. I had no clue what I should specifically look for. The only thing I did see was the radiator overflow cap popped open and no coolant inside. The only thing I could think of was when I hit the water, something happened, but what I didn’t know and why the car battery remained lit I didn’t know.

The stop and go trip eventually got us home. In our mechanical aptitude reasoning, we figured the salt water had splashed onto the engine and shorted something out. The car made it home and we figured once it dried out, it’d be fine.

About an hour later, it stopped raining. I added water to the radiator and we took the car for a test drive. I planned the route to circle around from Tedious Creek Road to Wingate-Bishop’s Head Road to Farm Creek Road to Toddville Road to Bishop’s Head Road to home. All tolled, it was about a five mile course.

We got up to Farm Creek Road with no problem. A short ways down Farm Creek, it began to run hot. For the last half of the route, we had to do the stop-and-go method to get the car home. As we turned onto Bishop’s Head Road, the last stretch before getting home, a tree across the road blocked our path. We had to turn around and go back the way we came.

We made it as far as the docks, still two miles from home. The battery died. We started walking home when an elderly couple picked us up and took us home. The upper part of our road had started flooding – a bad sign.

Keith didn’t believe me, but I insisted that if we didn’t go back and push his car to higher ground, it would get flooded.

“No way,” he protested. “That water was well below dock level.”

I convinced him to hop in the truck so we could move his car. About half an hour had passed since we first left the car at the docks. When we pulled up, the water that was a couple of feet below dock level now lapped over the dock and into the spot where Keith’s car sat. “Oh my God! I can’t believe this in just such a short time!” Keith exclaimed.

We pushed his car to higher ground, called it a night, and hoped for the best।

I got up early the next morning. Worry has a way of cutting into a good night’s sleep. I got out of bed and looked down on our front yard. Water had begun piling in. “Keith, the flood’s coming.”

He jumped out of bed। “Oh no. Is my car ok?”

“I don’t know। We’ll have to go find out.”

Part II Coming in a few weeks – The rising waters, a broken down car, and more rising water

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article

May 08 Around Dorchester County

2008-05-07T20:22:00.002-05:00

Throughout the month of May:

Birds to See Around Toddville and Blackwater: Songbird migration peaks during the beginning of the month with warblers being the most conspicuous. Bald eagles begin fledging by the end of the month and continuing into June. Deer give birth to their fawns and the first waterfowl broods appear.

Normally, I follow the birds to see with a list of various events occuring throughout the month. After reading the fine print of the source for my listing, I have learned that nothing can be reprinted, in whole or in part. For this reason, only events sponsors email me will be posted in this section.

For the month of May, there are quite a few flower shows, a vintage airplane show, and, of course, dinners and buffets that benefit our local volunteer fire departments. If you want to list an event for June, please email me with the details and I will include it in the next edition of Around Dorchester County.

© 2008
Mark Darien
All rights reserved
Please include this copyright notice if you share this article