what kind of world do you want?

DIY liquid laundry detergent

2012-12-16T16:53:00.001-05:00

In an attempt to be more frugal, and having to be careful what detergent I use because some of us have super sensitive skin, I decided to give The Duggar Family recipe for liquid laundry soap. It didn't take very long, and was really cheap.

Here's what I used:
1 bar of Kirk's Natural Castile Soap(it was in a 3-pack with the hand soap at Publix)
1/2 cup of Borax(in the laundry aisle at Publix)
1 cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda (laundry aisle at Publix)
4 cups water
Pot
1 5-gallon Homer Bucket at Home Depot (<$5.00)
Giant Paint Stirrer from Home Depot
Grater
Funnel
Empty Laundry Detergent Bottles

grate up the bar of soap - it took me 10 minutes, and I took a couple of breaks to rest my muscles.

dump the grated soap into 4 cups of water(they started with hot, I used cold)


heat up the soap and water until it's bubbly and the soap has dissolved - took about 6 minutes.

measure the washing soda and borax.

somewhere there's a picture of the bucket half-full of hot water(was easy to do in the tub)

do that ^ and mix the dry ingredients into the water that's in the bucket.

now combine the two solutions

and stir (he was feeling pretty awesome).

stirring silly is more fun. obviously.

then seal up the bucket overnight - apparently it thickens up while it cools. I didn't notice much of a difference.

feeling pretty good about conquering the combining ingredients part.


here's the solution about 18 hours later. you need to stir it up again. a lot.

I scooped out the solution with a measuring cup and added it to my(mostly) empty bottles through a funnel. I made a pretty fantastic mess.

you're supposed to fill the bottle 1/2 full, but I went about 3/4. we're raising boys, here. fill the bottles the rest of the way with water (careful - I had a lot of spillage once I tried to put the caps on).
shake, shake, shake before use!

the ~~over-crowded counter~~ crowd. I also managed to top off two other bottles and have some left in the bucket!

believe it or not, those clothes are actually clean, and I managed to get in there to do a load of laundry with my new soap! I'm satisfied so far. We'll see how this goes...

this flawful dream

2012-09-01T20:00:00.002-04:00

Cradling him like the baby he was too long ago, I rocked Axl into dreamland. Before he drifted off, though, he reached his chubby little hand up around my neck and pulled my head to his, cheek-to-cheek. And there we stayed. Peace. Bliss. It was one of the 7,235 reminders that I frequently miss every day that, "wow...I'm living my dream." I was kicking myself for not having my phone with me...there would be no proof of the script-perfect moment! And my elbow was crunching against the rocking chair's wooden arm. Like and ice-cruncher. And my eye that was closest to his head was suddenly housing a ball of sandpaper instead of an eyeball. And his sweet little breath was uncomfortably hot and blowing in my ear(major peeve - leave the ears alone). sigh...there is no way so-and-so has these little asides in the margins her dream of a life story. Well, maybe the do, but they probably don't even notice ("What? A twister just hurled my house across the metro ATL while I was still inside? Oh, I didn't notice...I was just here snuggling my perfect little angel-child.").

As I began to thank Him for the sweetness amidst the imperfect, before the words even fully formed, it hit me: the flaws I see and feel are just evidence that it's real. That I accept the annoyances, time "wasters," and every million schedule disruptor and choose to be thankful for them is part of the beauty. I live in reality. When they crawl in bed with us, we're squished and sweaty...but it's beautiful and I'm thankful for the moment. When I'm too tired to rock him anymore, but he's still clinging in fear, I climb in the crib with him and (by golly, HOW does he sleep without a pillow?) I thank Him.

I don't like everything about parenting, or all the little things that come with parenting(fresh off of cleaning poop-up-the-back out of the car seat and wiggly child...seriously, he couldn't have just waited until he was home, and NOT sitting down?!), and that's okay. I cherish the beautiful and fun and encouraging and exhilarating and hilarious, and trudge through the ugly and uncomfortable. And I'm overflowing with thankfulness. Not because I'm some saint whose faith is stronger than superman and nothing nothing could ever shake me(i throw back some zoloft & abilify every morning. realness.). I'm really thankful because I choose to be. When it's beautiful, horrific, chaotic, adorable, peaceful, happy or tearful. I'm living my dream...full of flaws...and I love it. And I'm thankful.

it's usually pretty difficult not to be flipping thankful for these silly guys.

besides...it's worth all worth it. :-)

postpartum progress

2012-06-06T14:01:00.002-04:00

It stole things sacred, closest to my heart. Things I had longed for since memories began forming. Memories. It stole memories...tender moments with my firstborn. Friendship, peace, and laughter. Confidence. Patience. A clear head. Intimacy. And sleep...lots and lots of sleep was stolen.

Postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD ravaged my mind and my body. I couldn't stand my husband. I lashed out, was hyper-vigilant(more like hyper on steroids), desperately wanted to escape my racing thoughts. Zero energy, but unable to ever rest. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a panic, for seemingly no reason. I attended to each of Ace's needs, but was so disconnected. Dread hung in my gut like an ACME anvil. I worried constantly that something terrible would happen to one of us, or all of us, and, of course, it would be all my fault. I was always sure I would walk in and Ace would have stopped breathing in his crib, or that some sort of boa constrictor would get into his crib and kill him(pretty rational fear, right?)...so I checked on him over and over and over. Was the door locked? Is his nutrition REALLY what it needs to be? What if I miss something? Panic attacks wrecked my days. The littlest things could send me into a rage...I wouldn't hurt anyone, but the out of control feelings and intense anger was frightening, and because I was sure that if I talked about it, I would lose my baby and my husband, I didn't talk. I didn't just have a lack of interest in relationships with friends, I didn't want to see anyone...really, I didn't want people to see me - even my closest friends. I resented, even loathed dear friends who didn't have kids, and especially my husband. I felt so alone and so broken. I couldn't feel gooshy love for my baby that I had envisioned and longed for all those years. I was always on edge, my nerves fried to a crisp. I did have many "good" days, and have some happy memories of life with Ace as a baby. But for the most part I was flat...or irritable. Depressed. Anxious. Ornery. Bitchy. Grumpy. Impatient. Easily irritated. Exhausted. Jumpy. Empty. Incapable. Obsessed with and rigid in my rituals and routines. I was inundated with morbid thoughts, thinking, "what if," a neighbor raped me on a run "what if" I drove into a retaining wall, or dropped my baby on the cement, or he stopped breathing or Mace lost control and drove into a tree on the way home. "What if" I took too many pills, or passed out on a run...or, speaking of running, many times thought about running and never stopping, never looking back...leaving "all" my misery, dread, and worries behind. Because I couldn't get on top of house work or cooking or hobbies, I literally couldn't make myself even try. I knew I would fall short, and couldn't handle disappointing myself or my husband or my family. "What have I done?" I wondered..."how could I have possibly been a good or even any sort of capable mom?" I resented my baby whose well-being rested heavily in my hands, on my "performance." I loathed him...but I couldn't stand to be away from him. I desperately needed him to be near, but often grew irritable with his happy babble and baby-isms(including but not limited to pooping, puking, peeing, crawling, hunger, need-to-be-held). Pretty sure I grossly overreacted to eeeeeverything even remotely upsetting in my life.

But I was doing everything "right." I was breastfeeding, drinking gobs of water, eating, exercising, running and/or taking walks with baby. But it just barely all kept me from sinking below the surface. I was making good choices physically and nutritionally, but couldn't lose the baby weight, and my body was lost to motherhood. I often found myself succumbing to this "new" me, but desperate for the "old." I was miserable, and so was Mace. Praise God for the resilience of babies, yes?

I'm so thankful for people in my life whose brave refusal to let me continue down the PPD/OCD/Anxiety path, along with their experience with mental health and a glimmer of hope that my life could be restored led me to seek treatment. So grateful for the ability to receive professional care and guidance. Not sure I'll ever be comfortable saying I'm "cured." But a survivor? Hell to the yes. Every. single. day. And PPD? You stole much from me, but there are some things I refuse to let you keep...yeah, most of what you took ;). And there are some who say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..."

(ps check this gal out. she inspires and encourages me and her site is fab)

another year

2012-03-30T09:07:00.003-04:00

a smidge of time in which I'm not saying, "Ace, walk AWAY from him," and, "Axl, you're FINE."

these moments are some that make all the rest of the refereeing that I do MORE than worth it.

God is good and gracious, y'all. I get to be their mama!

wouldn't trade anything to be anywhere but here today...spending my birthday with them.

Hey, 26, let's be lovely.

He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

Micah 6:8 (NIV 1984)

Faces of Axl

2012-03-29T09:18:00.001-04:00

Or Mace, because they look SO much alike these days!

skeptic

classic face of Axl and Mace - typically following actions of Ace and Brei.

doll

baby wants to be heard

get that key in the ignition, boy!

successful ignition=proud guy!

Oh, do you need a key, mama?

Also proud to announce that at 17 months, we are thriving on Prevacid ONCE a day! Yay, buddy!

fight, fall, rest.

2012-02-23T12:57:00.000-05:00

the odd solace in the swell of the sound machine is pierced by his wailing, and I cry along with him. his cries pierce my heart and my arms ache to hold him, to calm his fears and soothe him into a peaceful sleep. in his screaming, he is pleading, begging me to take him into my arms, to "rescue him," from the fear and frustration he feels. "everything you are, and everything he knows says you love him," Mace says. i am wracked with fear that in this he'll choose to pull away from me...but Mace is right - our babe knows that i love him.

every breath, he breathes in my love and devotion and protection and adoration. he feels it in my embrace, drinks it up in our smiles and laughter. i know that he knows...but still, "cry it out" never gets easier. sure, I could swoop in and save the ~~day~~ night, whip out a boob to appease him, and rock him to sleep. but it would not help him grow and be confident in who he is...even, in who i am. he won't truly rest until he works out the ability to go to sleep on his own. it's excruciating for me to allow or even force him to work it out on his own. but I know it's for his best...for my best, and everyone's.

we didn't make him to puppet him, his daddy and me. we made him out of love for each other...wanting our love and our joy to multiply and share it with the world. if he's going to experience growth, he has to surrender to this process. to trust that mommy and daddy know best, and that he is safe, and that we love him. sometimes he will fight and scream...for hours at a time. other times, he may babble it out, or explore his surroundings...taking comfort in what we've given him to assist in developing this self-soothing, put-your-own-self-to-sleep skill. it's essential and necessary, even as it is painful and exhausting. but as he grows, each sleep will become easier, as he accesses the abilities he has worked out...with our support, our confidence in him, our protection, and without our literal force.

we facilitated the growth...the decision to grow is up to him. it's hard to let him go through this...but he will be better for it and it will strengthen him at his core and we will all be restored as a result. we've given him all that he needs to conquer this - a soothing and calming warm bath, a lot of snuggles, a full belly, and his special blankie and binkies. we've reassured him of our love and adoration...telling him he's brave and loved and wanted and safe. he's got everything he could need, now's it's up to him to recognize their presence, to take hold of those things, and decide to grow. it may not be the way he wanted to grow, but we know it's what's best for him, for the circumstances...it's best for reinforcing our love for him and his confidence in us.

it's a crucial exercise in trust, this sleep training bit. and it reminds me a lot of how Jesus loves us...and how intensely we may fight the processes of growth and healing. i imagine our cries for rescue rip His heart in two. but even though we fail to feel or realize it, He's here...and He's given us everything and everyone we need to grow, heal, and move on. it's up to us to recognize the skills and resources available through Him. we fight Him, His process, and His power...and when we surrender, we will ~~fall asleep~~ grow, and then we find rest. oh, how Jesus loves us. so much more than we could ever love our boys...I am so thankful.

rest

happy baby news

2011-10-25T16:30:00.000-04:00

All of my older sibs are all parents now. My older brother and his awesome wife did THIS!

Aghhh, he is just delish!

Proud (one of many)aunt

most presh cheeks, chin and mouth!

love you mucho already, sweet baby!

happy birthday, Axl Phoenix!

2011-10-19T13:54:00.002-04:00

There are no words adequate for sharing our sweet boy with y'all. He is such a peaceful source of joy and life to us all. Axl is quite the charmer and we absolutely adore him. Utterly wrecked with gratitude to the Giver of Life for this angel boy. We don't deserve him, but humbly and happily welcome the responsibility of his precious little life.

Sweet baby, we were surely lost before we had you.

you're gonna miss this

2011-09-30T09:25:00.001-04:00

It's pretty darn easy to find legitimately unpleasant things about every stage of life if we choose to, and we(guilty!) usually do. For much of my life, I longed for the next stage: one without school, one with a boyfriend(fun phase, huh, mom?!), with a car, away from home, engaged, married, kids. You get the picture. But my sweet, dedicated mom really showed us how to be content(grateful!). In her circumstances, position, "phase," she chooses contentment. Complaining was not something you got away with in our house growing up :-) and I am so grateful that our parents drove Philippians 2 home...and we spent a lot of time "meditating"(aka writing it out 5,789 times, learning it backward and forward, in 3 other languages and 6 translations) on verse 14: "Do everything without complaining or arguing,"(NIV1984). I just found Phil. 2:14-16 in The Message and LOVE the way it's delivered:
^14-16Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed! Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society. Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.
Love this as it applies to a parent/child relationship. The last sentence is hilarious when I think about everything a parent does and "endures."

As I'm writing this post, I'm really struggling to put my words into practice. It is SO hard waking up throughout the night(Axl's acid reflux, a wet toddler bed, bad dreams, random baby screaming, or just because we've gotten into a bad habit of getting Axl up while he's been sick(we're up to 6 ear infections this year), etc.) month after month. I'm exhausted beyond words. I haven't had an uninterrupted shower(or a doodie...or even a pee, for that matter) in a few years. The days of browsing my fave little boutique have been replaced with hours in the toy aisles at Target(seriously, ask Ace what his fave thing is, that's the answer you'll get!). It takes me half an hour to get ready for a 45 minute pharmacy trip for one item. My world right now revolves around kid food, toys, repeating myself and explaining things countless times throughout the day, following one kid to pick up what he's dropped that would be dangerous for the munchkin toddling behind him, poop, pee, and spit-up. It's not glamorous and I have very little time to myself, and virtually no time off. Aside from my couponing(I'm starting to get the hang of it, y'all. It's so fun!) or crafting(which I have done rarely in the past year), there is really nothing tangible to show for all of the hours I pour into my boys and my home. And I could easily sink into a state of self-pity, resenting my kids and/or my husband(you know, because it's their fault I'm in this position in the first place!).

It would be ridiculously easy to spend my days counting the minutes till bedtime, or when Axl's less dependent on me or less clingy, or when Ace stops asking so many questions(please, never!). When Ace was a baby, we were eager for the upcoming milestones. The time when we could lay him on the floor/bed/couch and he wouldn't move was something I took for granted. As was the time his day merely revolved around a boob/bottle, sleep, and poop. That is as simple and easy(and, essentially predictable, too) as it gets! Later, you have to build blockades so Littles won't escape to somewhere dangerous, or get into something capable of starting a chemical reaction. Meals morph into containers of stinky, messy goop. Soon, they won't just sleep anywhere. Their naps will whittle away to eventually none and they have (gasp!) OPINIONS. I'm not sure who said it this way first, but the only thing that's predictable about having a child is the unpredictable. One of the many reasons I am so thankful for new mercies and for abundant grace. With every breath.

But call me an old soul, or just well-read when it comes to people who have lost their precious babies and/or spouses way before they should have, I just refuse to be a complainer. I will not wish away this time of life. Sure, my OCD makes it "easy" to control thinking and my behavior(c'mon, if that was really true, we wouldn't have to support a psychiatrist's golf habit). The choice to live in the moment and get everything possible out of every ounce of life is hard work and super involved. A few blogs spurred this "love them now, love them good" perspective. These women have stretched my faith and their stories have scarred my heart in the most beautiful way. My perspective has changed forever. I try not to live my life in fear of what if's, but I guess that's what it started out as. What if this was the last day with your baby, child, spouse? Wouldn't you be a little more loving, a little slower to light a rocket in your unders, and soak up every sweet, frustrating, slobber-filled, stinky, precious, irreplaceable moment? Then stop complaining and do it.

I'm not saying it's easy. We've got the hardest job of 'em all. They're needy and filthy and stink and peel our brains like a banana(thanks, Mark Gungor, for that one) and WHINY. But worth every second. And someone always has it worse than I do. Things can always get worse. No matter how bad things are, they could always be worse than they are right now. I have to remind myself of that often. One day, us mamas(and papas) will miss it. I'm sure of it. Heck, I already do.

battlefield

2011-07-24T23:19:00.001-04:00

I'm determined to get over the blogging lull I've given in to. I've been wanting to get these thoughts down on "paper" for almost a month. Disclaimer: Mace and I celebrated our 5th anniversary this month and love each other (and, really, are each other's faves...on a good day ;)). This post is a small culmination of work we've done in the past three years as well as what we're doing now.

A few weeks ago, I read somewhere, "love is not a fight..."(referring to the marriage kind of love) and it got the squeaky wheels in my head turning. I really disagree with that statement(though I know where they writer was going with it). Our relationship or, rather, growing, preserving, and protecting(with liberty and justice for all) our relationship (especially once it became a marriage) is at least one of the greatest fights of our lives. No matter where we turn, there is opposition. Advertising, movies, social media, work, kids, friends, money, hobbies. And not even half of it's negative influence. Our lives are full. We have to fight for our sacred alone time. For sacred family time. The sexed up society we live in, that is full of sexually driven advertising and a Golden Corral-style buffet of visual pleasure, threatens to swallow us whole, and drive us apart. The scariest part of it all? It happens without us even noticing. We think we're doing the "right" things - providing for our family, parenting, investing in the lives of others, and at the end of the day, there is no time for each other. So we put it off. Again, and again, and again. And all of a sudden, "they're not the person I fell in love with," and it's an end. And it changes not only the present and certainly the future, but also the past.

You know the point in your workout/run where you're dripping with sweat and you are past the point of exhaustion, but you have to keep going? And then once you've invested your time/energy, you're stronger and more centered and SO glad you pushed through the muck of last night's junky meal, scary attack dog, your lack of hydration, mosquitoes feasting, and the suffocating Georgia humidity? When it's worth every exhausting minute? Sometimes, that's how I picture marriage: Fighting against all of our shortcomings(individual and mutual) and outside noise and direct attacks on the strength and resilience of and peace in our marriage. It's a battlefield out there. We're fighting for our family and for our marriage. On my first post-delivery run, I borrowed my baby sister's ipod(I think it made me a Belieber) and Jordin Sparks said we better get our armor. And, by George(who's George??), we've got it....or, well, we're getting it. Our most crucial pieces of armor consists of mentors - pivotal people in our lives who challenge us and hold us accountable, and people we can lean on, our relationships with Jesus, and spiritual, physical, and emotional health. We're working really hard on the health part these days. Counseling, people, counseling. Thank GOD for counseling (for REAL, it is so important)! We're digging in and working through crap with our therapist and we're resolute. Despite all of our baggage and the noise that tries(and in the past we've allowed to) force a wedge between us. We will survive...hey, hey.

#movingforward

2011-07-11T09:42:00.000-04:00

I'm not necessarily a huge fan of change. It can be really exhausting and tends to produce a lot of anxiety for me. However, one change I am every bit Gung-ho about is the change my Alma Mater is going through. A name change and location change are huge, but so exciting! Understandably(but unfortunately), there are many who are not exactly enthusiastic about it all(it's hard for me to see past their verbal kicking, whining, and fist pounding - they're giving my toddler a run for his fit-pitching money), and they're ever so generous with their opinions and feelings. This weekend, several of my friends have voiced their support for the university, and I wanted to chip in.

I could not be more proud of the direction Point University is heading. The mission, values, goals, and vision of the university are stronger than ever. I am so grateful for the dedication of those behind the scenes, who have invested so much of their lives into the future of our Alma Mater. To the leadership at Point University and those who are instrumental in orchestrating the name change and move - thank you for taking steps to make sure the institution lives on and will continue to shape points of influence to send out into the world. No one expected everyone affected by the change to agree 100% with all of the decisions made, but I'm sure that this voiced lack of support, especially from alumni, is particularly discouraging.

Bottom line: Those who are taking the changes in stride, AND those who have gotten their panties in a wad over it ALL attended the institution that was formerly known as Atlanta Christian College. That institution is now known as Point University.

I hope that all of us, especially I, will start focusing our energy on more pressing matters. Things that matter more to Jesus than the name of a school.

crawling bootcamp

2011-06-24T23:30:00.000-04:00

Axl doesn't exactly care about moving around at this point, but we still make a point to get him to at least try. This is how it goes.

We're gonna work on what??

Not exactly a running start.

You seriously let us watch this stuff?

What do you mean, I'll have to walk one day?

Aaaarrrrggghh!

I'm really not okay with this!

just

can't

do it.

Just give me the boob!!!

Utter defeat.

Sorry, my perfect little lop-sided head.

Any tips, moms of (over-achieving) crawlers?!

life in progress

2011-06-23T09:04:00.001-04:00

*Updated to add captions.

We're still here, life's just, well, been happening around here. I am amazed at the moms who blog on a daily basis(at least)! Working on it...
Two things, and a few pics.
1. These boys are so.flipping.busy. And fun, and crazy adorable. But busy.
2. My thyroid needs to get with the PROGRAM. Pretty impossible to describe this exhaustion.

Every old toy becomes new again with a new baby, doesn't it?

Also, I don't think Axl wants so much "help" from his big brother, haha!

They sure do make my life fun.

I will always be a little sad that I don't have a girl to dress up, but get such a kick out of matching and coordinating these guys!

Always chill + always up to something= never a dull moment!

And always - well, mostly - still so sweet.

Remember what I said about the baby toys?

Crazy kiddo!

beach 2011

2011-05-30T20:57:00.001-04:00

Not that vacationing alone before you have kids is a drag, but Mace and I are firm believers that the way to vacation now is with my family. There is never a shortage of someone wanting to feed, sit with, or bunk with a kiddo when our crew is together! We had an ahhhmazing time on the Florida gulf with my parents, little bro and sis, and my older sis, brother in-law, and nephew, and my sister and brother in-law. Because of work schedules and car drama, there was a bit of shuffling and we were all only at our wonderful and gracious friends' townhouse on the beach for less than 24 hours. But we made the most of it and it was SO fun! We missed our older brothers and their fams - would have made it all complete, but we understand...some had hogs to tend to and others would have had a bit of a commute! ;-)

Here are a few highlights

just a little potty-training support between cousins

Axl's first feel of the water!

only Mace's fave picture. ever.

we miss the kiddos(and their mom and dad!) so much

really missing our other 2/7's

these two played so well together...it was so fun watching them!

no worries, that big red splotch on mom's chest is what her hand-painted flower necklace left when she sprayed sunscreen over it. nice.

the boys flippin' loved.the.beach.

cold water!

no big deal...

and, he's good.

Eebop and Granddaddy with all the grands.

just the guys

beachy preview

2011-05-28T22:57:00.000-04:00

girl, please

2011-05-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

We've been to our pediatricians' office about eleven times since January 1. Wish that was an exaggeration. One of those times, after a sleepless night and traffic and stressing about why our baby screamed all night, I pulled into a parking spot in the parking garage too quickly and overestimated how much space was between me and the concrete pillar. "Scruuuunnnch." Urrrghhh. It ended up not being as awful as it sounded, but I got the driver's side bumper pretty good. So, just because it's relevant(well, that, and because it's a lot about me), I'm not who you want to make a guess about things...distance, speed, time, measurements. None of it.

Yesterday, we were going to run inside babies'r'us to get some child-proofing stuff. No biggie, just out running errands on Mace's day off(Just in case anyone isn't aware, Mace sells cars. But not only does he sell cars for a living, he drives and parks cars for a living. Just keep this bit of info handy). Once we parked, I got Axl out to feed him before we went in. While I was feeding him, two ladies got into the car on our left and started to drive away - pulling through the space in front of them to leave. They stopped just after they passed Mace's window and the younger girl hangs out her window and says, "um, excuse me, sir? did you hit our car??" I'm sorry, whaaaat?! Mace told her no, he did not, and she said, "well, then how did you get the scratch on the front of your car?" Mace told her it happened when we ran into the concrete pillar in the parking deck at the doctor's office(I just told you that). She obviously didn't believe him, but they ended up driving off...and circling back around to get our freakin' license plate info! Grrr. So, Mace hopped out and opened up the back of my car. He was all cool about it, getting a stroller out of the back for me. While they(not "new or expecting" in the slightest) sat in a "new or expectant mom" parking spot. Not cool, girls. Not cool.

So, Mace sat on the back of my car and waited while I went in the store with the boys. I was a wreck. You could just tell that if we left the would say we hit and ran. Stressing the crap out of me(not lovely when your arms are two babies full in the middle of a store). So, we headed back out to the parking lot while I called my sister...whose hubs is a sheriff's deputy. We decided the best thing would be to call the police so that we could get it "on record" that the damage on our car was completely unrelated to theirs. So, we called...and apparently, the chicas did too. Once the cop got Mace's, the girl's, and my story, the second officer measured the marks on both vehicles with his baton. Thank you, kind sir. In less time than it took the police officers to get to the store, the first officer told us to have a nice day and apologized. Said, "she's just being a pain in the ass...she just wants to argue with me." Well, sir, I'm so glad we aren't alone in those sentiments. Glad we called them and glad the drama got cleared up. Good grief. Girl, don't you EVER try and pin my poorly executed parking job on my man and spin it in your favor! Also, I'm real happy the officer's baton(snicker, snort!) kept me from having to call the pediatrician's office. Again. :-)

seventh heaven

2011-05-19T00:00:00.001-04:00

Gah, this kid. With a (toothless) smile that would melt the coldest heart, endearing chocolatey eyes, and the lushest lashes, Axl Phoenix never fails to astound us with his preciousness. These months have absolutely flown by, but our family is so much more beautiful and complete and full of love.

sweetest, happiest little thing ev.

ears!

classic Axl

it seems this silly boy's always got that tongue out

Axl moved from sitting up for a few seconds at a time for most of the month of April, to mostly sitting all the time this month. We saw an ENT for his reflux, and Axl's voice box looks great. Such good news! He's now on an adult dose of prevacid, though. Poor kiddo also has another nasty set of ear infections. Still sweeter than ever, though! Still no teeth, but although the pictures don't show it, he's getting more hair! Still red and fuzzy...my mom's betting it's curly, and if his lashes are any indication, she's dead on.

I'm writing this post early and scheduling it to post automatically because on Axl's actual 7 month birthday, we'll be showing him the beautiful Gulf of Mexico in FL! Woohoo for family vaca!! Photographic evidence to follow, for sure!

hilare and presh. the both of them.

child proof fail(s)

2011-05-15T21:57:00.001-04:00

For Mother's day, I decided to go for mother of the year and left a sleep aide within Ace's arms' reach and he chewed half a pill. At 3:30pm. Once I figured out that he was going to be tired, but okay, it was less terrifying. Still stupid of me, though. Gah. Couldn't he at least have downed double the dose(for a SIX year old) of cough medicine near bedtime?! It was pretty comical trying to keep the druggy tot awake until bedtime.

And Wednesday? Topped it. I left my razors(that's right. not one, two) on the bathroom counter and Ace grabbed one. And it grabbed back, and took a couple chunks of skin as souvenirs. Poor boy was so pitiful when I got to him(and his bloody hands, mouth, floor, and shirt). I feel like we probably should have gotten his finger professionally doctored, but Mace says I did a fine job. Pretty sure I have a career in ghetto finger-bandaging. Sweet boy woke up an hour after he went to bed(and then was up twice more :-( ), crying about his boo-boo hurting. So, he got a fresh bandage, strawberry ice cream(which he said was too cold, and asked me to microwave it) courtesy of daddy, and an iced cookie and some warm milk. And he finally snuggled up in bed with his cushy/Dora/Cars(aka "wite-meen") bandaids around 11pm.

about 6 hours post-slice.

*Sunday night edits*

As if the other incidents weren't enough to make us serious about child-proofing(for Ace and Axl)...Saturday night, while the boys and I were making Mace's birthday cards(we made a book of 27), I opened the blinds behind me so they could see out. Entertainment. Harmless, right? Nope. I heard, "mommy, wook! I twisted dem!" And Ace had basically concocted a noose out of the cords from two of the blinds. Gag. The scariest part is how long it took to untangle him, and he wasn't in any distress. I cannot imagine that in an emergency! It's terrifying and only a little hilarious. Mostly earth-shatteringly frightening.

And have I mentioned that he knows how to(and is really bold about doing so)unlock the front door?! In the last ten days, he's also learned how open the garage door via my car.

This house will be child safe before bedtime tomorrow. Word to the wise, don't wait like a fool(us) to make your house kid safe!

27 ways

2011-05-15T17:50:00.000-04:00

Today is Mace's 27th birthday, and last night I helped Ace make Mace a book of 27 cards with sweet and silly things Ace and Axl love about their daddy, or why they love him. Here are my 27.

1. You're what makes life fun and you are a huge reminder that God is good.
2. Before you, I didn't know how to really laugh
3. Your plethora o'knowledge is pretty astounding, impressive, and makes me feel smarter too
4. You showed me, a lifelong musician, how to appreciate all music...and introduced me to the greats.
5. The babies we made together are absolutely amazing.
6. You are hands down the best cook I know. For reals.
7. I don't think there's anything you can't figure out how to do. Or fix.
8. When I wanted nothing even romantically to do with you, you straight up swept me off my feet. And continue to do so, almost daily.
9. I'm pretty sure you've never met anyone who doesn't like you. You're that awesome.
10. Your steady, calm demeanor. You are absolutely my rock.
11. You are fiercely competitive(and, though you almost always win, you're a good loser, too).
12. You can do anything you set your mind to and make it look effortless.
13. When poop hits the fan, you face it, head on. Even if it means getting hit in the face with poop(which you've gotten really good at avoiding).
14. Your patience with life is astounding - something I just realized I take for granted far too often.
15. The depth of your love for me has always been unmatched and, when tested, has proven indestructible.
16. The way you look at me(as if nothing else matters, like I may your world go 'round, like I'm the most amazing thing you'll ever see, like you'd do anything for me, like you adore and cherish and treasure me).
17. Nothing and no one gets in the way of your dedication. You work so hard for the people who depend on you(not just our little fam).
18. I can be transparent and vulnerable with you. And you don't judge(and you've stuck around).
19. Your mad reflexes and driving skills have prevented road disasters for us(and others, for sure) numerous times.
20. Your faith is solid. Life has not been a walk in the park, but your faith only deepens, when a lesser man's might fade.
21. You are confident.
22. Doing life with you is pure fun, it just goes by too fast.
23. Our good times are good times.
24. Your filter makes me jealous(aka you don't take anything personally).
25. You refuse to let life get you down(comes in real handy in the car-selling business!).
26. You show our boys strength, patience, joy, love, confidence, and how to not take life too seriously.
27. You make me slow down and take life in.

This short list is incredibly inadequate when I think about the ways, the why's, and how's that I love you. Adore you, babe. Happiest of birthdays to you, my fave.

(mostly) sweet, brother-lovin' feet

2011-05-09T10:17:00.000-04:00

classic, funny Axl face

oh, I could just gobble these little piggies up!

love

LOVE Axl's crossed feet - both of my boys have always crossed their feet like little men - it's the cutest!

Ace: "he's sskithhin my balls!" Nice. Thanks, Mace.

Axl's really patient. Good thing, because Ace? Not so much.

maybe the most difficult part of raising Ace right now? trying to take photos...for real.

they are just so fun, I tell ya!

oh, you know...just drummin' away on Axl's head

I love how our boys love each other

Mother's day thoughts

2011-05-08T11:56:00.002-04:00

Today is a day I get to focus on celebrating my dreams fulfilled. So thankful and reminded not to take a minute for granted. Humbled and grateful that I get to be a mama to these darlings.

Thinking about my friends who don't get to be mamas to their babies in this life. You are not forgotten. Love to you guys, and happy Mother's day.

And to my own moms, I am so grateful for the sacrifices you've made and am so THANKFUL that you chose to be mamas, so that i have life and the man i love have life and I get to be a mama and our boys have life. Love you guys.

guilty

2011-05-05T21:25:00.001-04:00

I'm gonna fess up. I'm guilty of ~~DUI~~ TUI - that would be texting under the influence. Of a sleep aid, that is. I sent this to Mace last night after I woke up and gave Axl his binki...

When Mace came upstairs like two minutes later and said, "what was that about my dad?" I had no.flipping.clue. what he was talking about. I'm pretty sure I may have been going for something more like, "so sad I wanted to bring him to bed with me." Can't wrap my mind around where "your dad in those stripes" comes into play. Don't text after sleep-aiding it up, kids!

today

2011-05-02T15:13:00.001-04:00

Or, rather, yesterday...depending on where you live, I suppose.
Either way, today's a weird day...

I checked Twitter "one last time" last night before putting my phone on it's little life-source, but was fueled by two tweets about the President speaking about national security soon and something about the 9-11 mastermind as I flew out of the bed to grab the remote(yes, we've a tv in the bedroom. of course we were told it's really bad for your marriage, but there's always an exception to the rule, right?). As Mace and I watched, the "breaking news" went from something about the President speaking shortly to the headline in this picture. Surreal. The carnal, vindictive part of me is glad glad he got what was coming to him, but the loving(because of Jesus) part of me is so sad that...well, sad that he probably got what was coming to him(and what would be coming to me if it weren't for Jesus). I'm also glad there is one less evil in the world. So, today's a weird day. Bittersweet, for sure...mostly for those who suffered because of him. I'm grateful that justice was served for the thousands of innocent people who were lost, and the loved ones they were ripped away from. Today, I'm grateful for justice and freedoms and mercy and grace. And boy, do I EVER want all people to know Jesus more than I have ever before. Also...I don't think it's overstepping to think it's probably a bittersweet day for God as well.

Birthday Girl

2011-04-30T00:00:00.004-04:00

Your heart is precious and your food is sinfully good. Amazing woman...so proud to be a daughter of yours. Hope your day is the best. Happy Birthday, Mama.

Easter 2011

2011-04-28T23:25:00.001-04:00

Fun day as a whole family, with some of our fave Mexican food and an evening picnic with family. I've never been more grateful to Jesus for staying on the cross and for not staying dead and for rescuing us. I read the story to Ace at least three times in 12 hours...our fave Bible story style. I hope that every year I'm more and more grateful and take the sacrifice less and less for granted.