Dosa, Iddli and Vadai

The Dream Camp!

2013-01-29T12:19:00.005-08:00

I woke up today in the middle of my sleep at 6am, and I was searching for Arjun on the floor to kick his butt for multiple reasons (one being giving wrong direction, and for that we ended up in the middle of a place with no civilization surrounded by tigers, rogue elephants, and wild boar).

I walked out of my room and was searching for the kids, it wasn't there anymore. I got so used to walking into few rooms and randomly poke few kids to wake them up. When they gave me a "why did you poke me look", I easily pointed fingers at the other kids or volunteers. :D

I was having breakfast today, and I didn't feel like having them. I got so used to Moopan feeding me every day.

I didn't feel like going out of my house because it's not cold anymore. I got so used to giving warm-ify hugs to one kid or the other every now and then.

I don't feel like using my mobile phone anymore, I got so used to grabbing it from one kid or the other.

In my sleep I was wheeeeeing all the time - that's what I heard my mom telling my dad. (I don’t believe that completely). Each time one of our kid would glide from one tree to the other, I wheeeed with them.

I got so used to calling out Pi every now and then, because there would be a lot of moments to capture. He tried to capture almost every kids smile. Am sure he’d have a lot more to share his experience.

I was struggling hard to pack something with a newspaper, and only then I remembered what our kids made with cardboard boxes. The train that can fly, the rocket, the robot, the houseboat, the 7ft boat, the mad city (it had a mad pool, mad cafe, mad stadium, mad theater, mad highway).

I was so bored today after I woke up at 3pm. I got so used to Anagha and Sachin shouting out my name to help them out for one thing or the other. Let me rephrase that, Anagha showing actions to get my attention. She lost her beautiful voice.
The MADster chef, the movie making class, The camp fire, The Avengers, the science experiments, the cardboard surfing, the tree climbing, the football matches, all at a temperature ranging from -2 to 10degree Celsius. *priceless*

On our way back, there was nothing else that could beat this much of a Mallu debate. Mohanlal vs Mamooty. Or rather, Menon vs YMCA kids. I had a narrow win!

How to-not to become an Indian !

2012-06-04T03:42:00.002-07:00

He screams at the top of his voice "fuck off you rat bastard!! I'll chop your balls off" - the security at the ATM.

I was jobless with life, and so was Jake. We decided to scare the shit out of random people. And who better to start with but an ATM security guy at 1am. Alcohol and Grass, there are no better medicines for Education! To add more drama, Bullet adrenalin kicks in and off we flew. Don’t know if it was marijuana thinking, the roads in Cochin looked amazing.

The 1988 born engine roared, and I was the king of the road. The only thing that broke the midnight silence was the thug thug. Mg road looked majestic with the potholes. Beautifully shaped and horny! Those sexy curves are something to dream on. I choked the engine; she halted a few blocks from the ATM, and we walked silently on our toes. It was just the ATM lights that showed off in the dark, No wannabes, No drama queens, Just the money making machine and a human being sleeping inside the counter. We walked closer, covered our faces with our Tee pulled up. I took the ice cold coke bottle, and emptied it on the sleeping guy. – That was all I could remember.

Driving is a passion, an art and a way to relax, only economical if you have a bicycle. So for the third year of my college, I rode almost every day to college. Occasionally took my car, otherwise the 1988 Bullet Enfield. We shared the road, respected other engines and gave lifts to kanjoos mongers. My college is at an elevated platform. It has a steep elevation to reach the top. They have humongous gates at the bottom and it is effin huge! They remain closed most of the time. They are only opened when the buses come in, or teachers drive up, vagera vagera. There are two securities at the gate to open/close and keep a track of students coming in and going out. Every day I reach the gates, they walk out from the room, open and close. It was nothing anything new to me, I thought if mechanical robots could replace them; it would never make a difference to the college functioning. But I always made sure that I greeted them with a warm smile and they always acknowledge me with a very warm smile too. No matter how pissed I was about life, my facial muscles flexed when I see them.

He wears a uniform, so did I. He has a daily timetable to keep up, so do I. He has to stand in the scorching sun, I could avoid them. He has packed lunch from a cheap hotel; I have good warm homemade food. How different are we? Am 21, he would be at his 50s. He would have studied till 10^th grade. And me? Managed to clear my 10^th and 12^th, and still not sure if I would get an engineering degree, only time can say. He has a family, a wife, and children, people to look after. They completely rely on his monthly income; which would be nothing more than 6000INR per month. And what was that one factor which put him in those shoes to open up the gate for future engineers and losers in life? Let’s say, Opportunity.

India, a country, a nation, 1.2 billion people, 2^nd most populated country, illiteracy, corruption, poverty, sentiments, freedom, rules, price hikes, criminals and dons! Where are those opportunities here? Who are the survivors? What is our karma? Where do we end?

coun·try/ˈkəntrē/

Noun:

A nation with its own government, occupying a particular territory.
The people of a nation.

We have a rich culture and traditions that backs us. India is a country with 28 states and 7 union territories (as on 4^th of July, 2012). You never know when another state will be crammed up. It is estimated that there are 500 different languages that existed in this land of 3,287,263 km²which happens to be the 7^th largest country. The motto of the country goes like this: “Satyameva Jayate” which translates to “Truth alone triumphs” in English. Now let’s post-mortem! When did people start to invade India? And why? The Portuguese, the French, the British, and every other mofo you could find, they fucked the shit out of the country, brutally raped for over a century, took all the wealth, and walked away when they got bored with their heads held high. Was that easy for them? Hell yeah. Consider a country or an area which is ruled by a number of emperors. It is a paradise for the civilised and brainy ones to rape! Well, with the number of languages that exists and over 500 different cultures, the invaders grabbed their opportunity and started fornicating. All they had to do was to add a pinch of drama, tadaa!

Consider the developed countries like; The United States of America, Germany, Japan and France! What is that one common thing in these countries? Isn’t it evident that in their respective countries they have ONE common LANGUAGE of communication? And in India? Almost every state has a language of their own and different cultures and beliefs in every district! We boast around, unity in diversity. But is their actually a unity? I come from South India, there are 4-5 states and some of them are Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Andhra Pradesh and Karnataka! These four states have different languages. In my case, I always respect the other states. But what we see around is the political drama, bitching, fighting for water, and we prove that we cannot live in coexistent of each other. There is no communal harmony. With the public influenced after the political drama, we get into fights. It unbalances the forces and the equilibrium is lost. So how does it happen? For every existence, everything needs to be in equilibrium. Our planet is in equilibrium, our life cycles and everything that you see around. If there is anything that unbalances these forces, then begins the downfall. Recovery is only possible if we can balance it in time!

Now, to prove my point, look at the infrastructure of each state! The scale of differences is not small. Each state is not given equal opportunities! The MP’s prefer their state and, with more power they favour their family and people. Is that what we want? Is that why we are here for? NO! NEVER! It is not called for!

There are slums, shelter homes, beggars, rat pickers, coolies, securities, bus drivers, entrepreneurs, musicians, film makers, sportsmen, google, government officials, and politicians, in our country! Now our society is in equilibrium, we need bus drivers, we need pilots, street vendors, maids, butlers, only then the rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. But the question remains, how long can we still exist as a country. What is our real motto? What will drive us? Where is the passion? Who will take us to the next level? Do we actually have a boundary? What is a boundary? Is it those irregularly shaped lines on a map?

So where does the first part of this post fit in. My approach to life has changed over the years. Everybody has a time frame when they change. We have to shift gears. Live with the traffic. I treated these people in the society very badly. I changed, I started to respect. I've nothing to lose, I could afford the luxury to fail and grab other opportunities, but they never did and never will in a country called India.

Truth alone triumphs

Mahi Ve

2012-05-04T11:01:00.000-07:00

My friend Shruthi from ‘Make a Difference’ (MAD-An NGO I volunteer for) Invited me for her Sister’s wedding, at her hometown Thalassery. Well I’ve never been to that place to explore. Or rather I’ve never been to ANY place to explore. So she invited and without a second thought I said YES! I’ve been there when I was tiny. It was Rohit’s (another Maddie) Birthday that day and he was invited too. And that fucker did have a haircut. He looks human now.

Later that evening I met Antony, Binny and Rifaz (Maddies) at (where else) a Yadav Bhelpuri Chaat kart. We all were invited, and then Rifaz asks, “Are you kids going?” kids referring to me and Rohit as we were still in college. You know how age begins to creep up and the reference to younger ones by age is always referred to as KIDS. And without a doubt I was pretty sure on I should do this. It would just be an excuse with the wedding at that place and to hit a place with so much history. [JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR, EVEN IF THE WEDDING WAS AT COCHIN, I WOULD HAVE DEFINITELY ATTENDED!! xP]. Well then they said about crashing at Mahe and then explore both the places. Since I was awesome at Geography, they explained it was only 7km from Thalassery. Woohoo. Awesomeness.

On 29^th April, all was set; Wedding was on 31^st - Sunday. Rohit wouldn’t make it because of his attendance shortage at college and his lab exams. And Rifaz went and hit an Auto Rickshaw. He’s alright. So it was just me, Antony and Binny. Antony is a Dentist by profession, awesome guitarist, Loves Travelling, A foodie and a great Photographer. Binny is a freelance Web Developer, Amazing Photographer and a very interesting personality (probably if you are on twitter, you might have seen his handle around @Binnyva. He’s famous in the twitter world). So all was set! We were to leave by a train [Parasuram Express] which starts from 11.05am at Cochin and then reach Mahe at 5.30pm. They took tickets for me and I got in from Alwaye Railway Station. The ticket cost for General Compartment is Rs.69 and from Alwaye it is Rs.61 to Mahe Railway Station. The train arrived by 11.30am at Alwaye. Well, Binny had texted me to get in to the 5^th Compartment which is an AC coach from the Engine. Under the Impression that they’ve converted the tickets to an AC coach, I felt relaxed. The train arrived, I got in, and I couldn’t find them seated. Instead saw them at the other end of the coach, outside the door.

“Hey, wassaaapp, why aren’t we sitting” I made way to the other end and asked Antony. He said the TTR couldn’t convert our General tickets to an AC coach, they were already booked it seems. Well, that was not a blow, but by the time we reach Mahe, we would be of no use if we got onto a general coach. Perhaps the reason why general coaches were implemented is that, the Railway authority still can issue as many tickets they can, and the travellers can still manage to travel if they have enough space to rest at least one toe. The longest Toilet in the world, Indian Railway System, people managing to sleep next to the toilet door, fixed seats for regular travellers, pep talk on everything that happens in Kerala, least interested new age kids in their own world of ear plug-ins, the super heroes who sit next to the coach door. It is very interesting to observe each one of them.

So we were the heroes outside the AC coach. We tried our best to rest our fat ass inside the ac coach. Not to mention that we didn’t succeed. So time flew, I was the superhero who sat at the coach door. The rush of air on your face is something you die for in this weather. We reached Shornur by 2pm. I got out, bought a bottle of water and then some snack. Binny and Antony didn’t want biriyani. Biriyani, well I’ve been having them quite a lot recently. My pops used to tell me that Shornur Railway Station is famous for biriyani. To make it worse, one fucker was already digging on his packet of HOT biriyani. Chucked it, bought 6 VADAI (yes yes vadai :D :D) and chutney separately, and rushed back to the coach. Antony and Binny were waiting outside the coach, with our bags. And then I noticed, all of us were thrown out of the coach by the railway guard. Legally we aren’t supposed to be travelling in any other coach, but General compartment with this ticket. So that was happening and we started moving from one coach to another in the platform. The sun was at his best. Getting in to the general compartment was out of question, there were a number of people hanging on to the side bars. The ones who got swept by the Cops were still checking their chances of trying to get some room in GC. We kept walking in the ruthless sun towards the shade. We dint have a thought of even to get into a GC. We were exhausted by the heat and my stomach started making noises. I was holding the hot VADAI and slurping at them every now and then. So found the shade and we heard the speakers, the train coming from Chennai to Mangalore would arrive shortly on Platform number 4. We were on 6^th platform. The announcement didn’t make a difference to me, because being very good geography I dint understand the fact that Mahe and Thalassery is on the way to Mangalore. Quick change of plans, Antony who got disheartened about the no seat and cops kicking us out cheered up. I started opening the packet of VADAAI and started digging in. I also had bought three packets of Bourbon biscuits. When you have an empty stomach, and those hot Vadai is like Bone for Dogs. You bite on all the side and plays around with it. So we munched them up with those coconut chutneys which had a spicy masala to top it off. It was like we found gold. The vadai was soon over and I finished the bourbon biscuits dipping in to the spicy masala chutney. It dint taste bad. I swear.

We moved on to the next platform, bid adieu to that long fucker and found our self in the hot sun again. The train arrived shortly and we saw empty seats in the ac compartments. Hit the TTR and found ourselves sitting inside one of those AC sleeper coaches. Thought it dint have a class, it wasn’t bad. We had to pay Rs.265 each to convert tickets from Shornur to Mahe. I found the upper birth and sat cross legged to the opposite upper birth to get some cooling. I was soon sleepy enough. The vadai did its magic. And I slept off on the upper birth. It was a disturbed sleep. But what I expected to be a power nap turned out to be a super power nap and woke up when I reached Calicut. Antony was already reading a book. He was lying down on the lower birth. He was deep inside his mobile phone. FAACCKK that guy was checking in on foursquare. Foursquare is an Application for smarty pant phones to check-in wherever you are on a map. It's pretty much a jobless thing but when it gets serious it goes like earning points and becoming the mayor of that particularly marked place. If you are the one who has a maximum number of a particular place marked on the map, then you become the mayor. Every check in earns you points. Different type of check-ins earns you points and badges. And you compete with friends. Basically ones who travel a lot can identify good places in the map and tip can be added for the one who’ll come by again to that place. Well, Antony was busy checking in at every station’s, I almost forgot about it. Meanwhile Binny was already sleeping on a side upper birth. The rest of the travellers on our side got down and it was just us. I got down, and lay down on the lower birth. Antony took his DSLR camera and started taking pictures. These two guys are so good at what they click. It's a hobby for them. But the pictures they take are kickass. Antony experimented with the light that came in from the window and made me a sleeping model. It was fun. Then came down Binny and Antony started making out plans for the next day. The book he was reading had travel journals from a lot of people. The places we had in mind were Paris hotel, which was started in some 1960’s or before. It had the best biriyani it seems, then Payngoli Hotel, which had the age of my forefathers, Mampalli bakery which was considered to be the first bakery in South India which is estimated to be built in 1880’s.

We reached Mahe at about 6pm. Guess who the Mayor of Mahe was, (on foursquare)?? ROHIT!! The station was tiny. It was calm. Two platforms. Didn’t show any sign of dormitories. We got out. The really small ticket reservation counter was to the left. That rascal who sat behind the iron bars dint even bother to lift his head to answer us, when we asked if we can reserve tickets for the next day. He was busy doing some shit on his phone. Probably he was playing angry birds. Antony and I started bitching about the Government officers. Well, it is something every non government workers love to do right. So we did our part and got on to a bus that goes to Thalassery. We got in, and took three tickets to the town. The sun was already on its way down. So the minimum ticket cost and expecting it to be five bucks. I was surprised, in Mahe the minimum cost for a bus fare is only Rs.3. That was like 3 years back in other parts of Kerala. Then Antony reminded me, we are not in Kerala Betta, we are in Pondichery territory. The only union territory inside Kerala! “Interesting” said my mind.

We got down at the town bus stop, and started walking. Binny and Antony headed the way. I am new to the place. And I started my observations. The population of men is more there. All the cars that pass by have a KL registration, which we were supposed to find at least 1PY registration for namesake. Antony and Binny had crashed at a place in Mahe before, so we wanted check that place. And then some glorious shiny bottles caught my eye. Every 5-10metres you find an alcohol shop. Mahe was famous for cheap alcohol. And then I understood the reason for the sex ratio there. We weren’t lucky to get that room. We were supposed to get rooms booked, that was the offer Bhavana gave us, (another Maddie and a friend). Well needless to say, we dint get a room at that place. We moved on, and found a terribly shaped and colored lodge and enquired for rooms, and they said all they have is one AC room. Binny and I checked it out, and it wasn’t that bad. Two beds. Luxurious enough. A big balcony, split AC, and a big toilet. We took the room, it was Rs.1200 for 24hrs and Rs.100 is refunded on vacating. On giving all the details while taking up the room, even a fingerprint impression was taken. Interesting.

We left our bags, rested our ass for a minute and changed clothes. I got into my favorite shorts and a tee. It was just me who changed. I took my bag, they took out there camera bags and we began.

The road didn’t have enough traffic, but it was getting crowded. The alcohol shops were still deserted. Surprising. In any other part of Kerala, there weren’t a single time in my life; I’ve seen an alcohol shop deserted at that time. The sun was almost rushing away and we rushed to get to the Tagore Park which is like a small park with a walkway along with a river, and you can see the river joining the sea. It wasn’t crowded like the marine drive or Oberon mall in Cochin, but I figured this is the only place in Mahe were families came for a relaxed evening. It was a Saturday; the image of a people rushing in to Oberon mall came to my mind. I always wondered if Oberon Authorities gave away free gold coins to the people who come and ogle there. The number of people who rush in to Oberon is humongous. Well, I never won any gift vouchers or lucky draw contest, Fuck you LUCK

The Mahe evening was for us. The walkway started getting captured into Binny’s and Antony’s Camera. I was the model. Yes, please take your time to laugh at me.

They started experimenting with the low light and camera shutter speeds. Well that’s what I understood from the alien language they were deeply talking in. I enjoyed the breeze. The crowd was moving out. It was just us and some families here and there and the beautiful lamp posts. ALL THE LAMP POSTS HAD working POWER SAVER CFL LAMPS. The park was getting darker. With a touch of violet rays from the sea the pictures were getting as beautiful as they can get. Binny left the camera down and waited for the camera to do its magic. He left the shutter open for 30 seconds. Voila, those pictures were amazing, the camera took in a lot more light and then came out those sexy pictures of the fishing boat and a lot more. I touched the moon meanwhile (camera magic) and did a lot of modelling here and there. We were almost done for the day. I noticed a cat sitting patiently beside a family and hoping to get a piece of whatever they were eating. I was surprised. Bold cat. And none of the family I saw had a problem with this one. Smarty. We walked our way back to the entrance and noticed the huge tree up ahead, and the noise crows, but what caught our attention was the white road. Hell yeah, the road was frigging white, all the credits to the crow gangs! Probably they take one area at a day shit the whole time. It even had a new level of surface with crow crap.

Wait wait wait. That’s not it; I saw a small push able kart, with an old guy and a kid making and selling something. I could hear the sound of peanut frying. Well, it was three meters away from the white surface, enough space to relax. I went there, I saw the guy adding ice cream to a bowl and he gave the bowl away. So it was just me and Binny, Antony went to take some last pictures from the park. The old guy asked me what I want, so I asked him what all he sells. And he said ‘paal gulabi, strawberry gulabi, narnandi, sweet masala ’. I couldn’t make out a thing he said apart from these. Well, these are the only things they sold. I asked him to give me a glass of ‘Paal Gulabi’. Antony reached by then and we saw him making;

He took out two tiny bananas, smashed it onto a bowl, added tootie frootie, a violet color shiny tootie frootie, added dry rice flakes (in Malayalam aval), skin peeled peanuts, and then started scraping a huge block of ice onto a glass, it came out like tiny bits of ice, which was still in tiny ice cubes, and added about three table spoons of milk. He meshed this up together and served in a glass. We took two spoons and started digging in. One spoon of ‘paal gulabi’ in my mouth and I saw heaven. It was sweet, crunchy with the peanuts, while the rice flakes blessed my tongue, the banana and the tootie frootie was yummy yumm along with the milk flavour. And this was all served in COLD ICE. Voila, the best thing I had in the day. We asked for Strawberry gulabi, and he served it similarly without the banana and instead of the milk, he added rose milk. I am not a big fan of strawberry flavour. So I just tasted it, it was the best strawberry flavoured thing I’ve ever had anyway. Well, Narnandi was left, but we knew how it would taste, so we asked for sweet masala. He just took the ice scrapes and added teaspoons of what looked like tiny pineapple pickled in something. And here is what it tasted like. If you add small pineapple pieces to a mixture of vinegar, small green chilli and a pinch of garlic to it you should be getting this mixture. So look at the combination, an amazing flavour of all these with a little bit sweetness of pineapple to top it off, this is what we get. And to add it up, the ice scrapes!! Antony couldn’t control his happiness having taking each gulp of sweet masala. Suddenly the crowd built up across this kart. A lot more people started ordering stuffs. And we were least important to that guy. Meanwhile I had a Mango piece which was pickled in Saltwater and chilli. So we asked how much everything cost. He dint hear us, he was too busy with other customers. I asked him again and he said, “oh sorry, a lot of them came in suddenly and too many orders”. And I said, “It's because we came in, the good charm followed us”. We had a laugh. His name is Habit; he has been making the same dish for 38years now. He brings his stuff in the evening and is open till 8.30pm. If you go to Mahe by any chance, this is a must visit place. And all what it cost us was 35 bucks. He didn’t have change for Rs.5; so we took another two pieces of pickled mango and left the place.

We walked back towards our lodge and stopped to notice people falling down. Nop! It wasn’t an earthquake; it was the alcohol effect you know. We stopped by to see another cooking kart and finally, we got to buy omelette. And that was a four way junction and on the four corners were alcohol shops. Impressive right? Alcohol is cheap and we got back to our lodge with three packets of Biriyani. Yaay!

DAY 2

I woke up late, and Binny and Antony was already up discussing about the days plan. Suddenly Binny says the roof what we saw up had a fluorescent lighting when it was dark. I doubted if it was him who got drunk. I took out the blanket and he took another one, we covered up the windows. No crap. Binny is awesome anyway. They took out the ‘lonely planet’ magazine and was taking down where all to go. The same places we discussed the other day in the train. I took a bath, and wore a Kurtha and trousers. We headed out of the lodge. We got to a tea shop nearby, and bought two cups of tea and I had a cup of coffee. I always prefer caffeine in the morning. It was a habit since my lower primary schools.

Vadaaiiiii... I saw some hot vadai inside a glass cabin and I asked for one, soon there were like a lot of them coming out. xP. I enjoyed it with the hot caafee. We took a bus to Thalassery soon and a fast passenger bus fetched Rs.7 per head. And we were already in Thalassery bus stand in some ten-fifteen minutes. We got down, and we started wondering where the wedding is! A couple of days back when I spoke to Shruthi she told me the wedding was at Thalassery town hall. And we started asking people about the Thalassery town hall and got directions. Found our way, and started walking. Walked like fifteen minutes. But with the sun almost right up on top of us, it looked like it took us more than fifteen minutes. We reached the place and started looking out for Shruthi. The groom was already outside the hall. By the customs of Hindu weddings, the groom is received by a group of women from the bride side including young kids and teens. The elder teens get to show off basically. But nowhere was Shruthi to be found even among the welcoming girls. Interesting. A lot of people smiled at us welcomingly. Our suspiciousness increased. We looked each other several times. And then finally as, welcomingly as they received us we fled the place. It wasn’t the wedding we were supposed to be at. We fled. We asked a lot more people on the road and kept walking. We walked like another fifteen minutes and we were finally there at the town hall. Again, at this one, there were very low turn outs for the wedding. About four cars, a huge hall and parking lot and like fifteen-twenty people were there. Again, Shruthi was no were to be found. We texted Bhavana and they were about to reach. I hoped it was the same hall. Well the families came in and all the regular gossips were going around. All weddings and all families are the same. And then Shruthi, Bhavana and their friends from college came. Shruthi looked absolutely amazing in that saree. Bhavana introduced us to their college friends. One female looked familiar. But I couldn’t place where I knew her from. Well, we all did our regular pep talk and moved to the wedding hall. Binny and Antony got out their cameras. They started changing lenses every now and then and the alien language began. I got myself busy with the observation of Thalassery. Almost all the girls looked absolutely amazing; either in their saree or whatever they wore. So the wedding was happening, the groom was received, he is seated on the stage. He was smiling at all the possible people who came to him. He already looked exhausted and tired with the photo shoots. He was seated on the stage. The bride joined him. She looked stunning with all the jewellery and the saree. They exchanged smiles and had a pep talk among them. They laughed, they started relaxing. My observations caught immediately to quite a number of old people who were using iPhones and also uncles who were 60+ wearing Puma and nike shoes. I was wearing torn khadi kholapuri footwear. Ashamed! The priest was already reciting prayers and instructions were passed on. But that guy looked like he dint know what to do. He stumbled. He started freaking out. Wtf. It's their wedding dude. The camera man to the rescue, he gave all the instructions and the wedding was over. The groom turned his ass towards the audience and tied the knot. Never seen that before!

Wedding was over. We moved on to the college girls, and began our pep talk. We said we were leaving and that wasn’t welcomed, because we dint have Sadhya. Well, the female whom I saw earlier was the same one I met at NITC with Bhavana. Let’s not get to that. I recollected her. Said bye to all and we exited. We got a cup of Payasam from outside and fled. Took an Auto and asked him to take us to Paris Hotel. It took us some 5-6 minutes

We reached there by about 12.30pm and moved our way inside. The auto travel cost some fifteen bucks. Thalassery is cheap too. The place was visibly old. With wooden roofing, old chairs and an aged guy at the cash counter. We got in, ordered three chicken biryanis and waited for those plates to come. The bearer kept three empty plates on our table. It was frigging hot. Holly crap. It was shit hot. Good thing though, I’ve never got a plate that hot. The biriyanis arrived and we started digging in. It was amazing. The chicken was tender, the flavour was super good. And made it to the top #2 list of my best biriyani! We were done with the biriyani and the bearer asked if we wanted Sulaimani. It's a traditional name for Lime tea. He bought three of those and it was the best thing to have after the amazing biriyani. It was sweet, hot enough, and perfect amount of lime. I dint want to get up from the chair I was sitting on. I was tired of the food attack. But the sulaimani did its magic and the biriyani started digesting. The bill was Rs.300. Hell yeah. That was super cheap again. With two huge pieces of chicken in the biriyani and a sulaimani to top it, it was bloody good for Rs.100. Something which Kochities can never imagine of.

We walked, we asked, we took directions again and found ourselves trying to find the Mampalli bakery. It seems nobody knew about the existence of Mampalli bakery. We were surprised, we re-checked, cross checked, and it was Mampalli bakery in our books. But, nobody knew its existence. Disheartened, we still walked. Antony suddenly said, we should ask somebody old. And found an old trade shop. Asked the guy over there with salt pepper hair, he started questioning us who we are and what we did and things. His name was Rafi. He said, the old Mampalli bakery is closed down, they demolished the place and for name sake they’ve one at a small plaza nearby. And said Pyngoli hotel is behind and nearby. I noticed a small plot which had remains of red bricks and destroyed walls. It was once the place where the British people used to have biscuit and tea in the 1880’s. Interesting. We found ourselves in front of Pyngoli hotel and it was closed. We weren’t disheartened; Antony took a picture of me and Binny in front of the hotel. We walked by and reached the harbour. It was like Binny and Antony won a lottery; they took out their cameras and started clicking the Eagles and the beach. I was jobless again. I enjoyed the beach again, started counting the number of waves, but got boring sometime later. I wasn’t a model anymore. I walked, they clicked, I got bored, alien language, phone, texted, tweeted, called, looked around, hot sun, biriyani effect, sleepy, bored, sleepy, bored, eyes dropped, shade, I sat. There was a walkway to the sea; I don’t know what it is called. It's a like a huge walkway to the middle of the sea, where in the olden days the ships used to be docked there. Trading thing.

I was exhausted, found myself under the shades of a tree. And then noticed Binny was on top of the ship docking walkway and clicking pictures. He was talking to himself, to the camera and then to the birds there.

Antony was taking notes for his blog about the travel journal, and then I thought I should write one too. He already finished his, take a look http://callmeantz.com I saw this small shop made of wood. In Malayalam we call it Petti kada. [Petti for box, kada for shop together, a Box shop] Yes it does look like a box made of wooden logs. The typical ones you find in Kerala which is in blue colour. I walked to him and asked what he had cold. He said nothing cold, but tea. And some snacks. This shopped look like the only customers he had was from the fishermen. Meanwhile Antony clicked a kickass picture of the ropes the fishermen were tying for the next day and Binny was in his world of Camera and eagles. So I begged the guy what else he had, he said salted lime juice. I asked him to take two and that was relaxing for me and Antony. It was cold enough actually. When I returned to give the glasses and asked how much it cost, he said Rs.4. I took my wallet gave him ten and expected him to give Rs.2 in return. But guess what, he gave Rs.6 back, and I asked,” Bhaiya, how much does one cost”. He said, “two Rupees” with a smile. OMFG. That was priceless. His name is Ashraf and his salt lime juice is awesome, and the best of it he serves with a smile. J

We took a lot more pictures; I got hold of Antony’s camera and started my experimentation. Antony sat under the tree and was taking notes on phone. I went to Binny, he was enjoying. The walkway is kickass. Strong winds, two guys came around and asked me to take their pictures. J I had a great time around with the camera too. It's shit expensive to buy one - DSLR. blah blah blah

We started moving out slowly. Binny and I got to another shop and ordered a Salted Soda Lime. Then we met an Old guy who is famous for ‘Mappila Pattu’, which is a particular type of Malayalam songs which is sung in a particular rhythm. He told a lot about his childhood. Movies he acted. Moosa Elinjoli, that’s his name. He did act in a couple of noted roles in Malayalam movies. He was very welcoming. Then he told about the history of Thalassery, believes of a burial place nearby and a lot. Well, I dint understand most of what he told us. The Malayalam these people talk in Northern Kerala was difficult to decipher. He had a lot of awards and accolades. Tried to fit in as many as he can on his wall! Well, it was time. We sat there for about an hour. We fled from the harbour.

Got into the plaza where Mampalli bakery was supposed to be, it was closed. DAMN. The plaza was centralized air conditioned. Felt comfortable again. Saw a strange named ice cream parlour inside. Cygoose. Cool right? We got in, Binny ordered a Faluda, Antony ordered a Fruit Salad, and I ordered a mango blah ice cream. So let me brief you about the Fruit Salad Antony Got, it was a regular sized bowl, it had Bananas, Apple, Pineapple, dates, fig, cornflakes, cashew nuts, a vanilla ice cream and to top it off with a cherry. Antony asked for another scoop of Mango and he got it down, we did see the price tag before in the menu card, this thing was only 30friggin bucks, and for the extra scoop they charge 5 bucks! Thalassery is AWESOME!! My desert was Rs.45 and Binny’s was the costliest 60bucks, which Antony and I had to help him finish it. It had lot of ice creams, fruits, and extra with chocos and lychee.

It was almost 5.30pm, we got a bus back to Mahe, checked into our rooms, and those regular not shaved, wearing a multi colored dhoti, said we can’t stay for a minute after the check out time. The train was scheduled to be at 9.00pm. Binny and I left the lodge to the Tagore Park. It was cloudy, so he couldn’t capture the sunset again. Well, previously when Antony and Binny crashed at Mahe, they woke up early in the morning and left to the Tagore Park to capture the Sunrise. Well, aren’t they genius. Sun rises in the east, and we are in the west. The closest place we can see a sunrise is at Kanyakumari or a hill station far from Munnar. I got back to the ‘Paal Gulabi’ and had a glass again. It was amazing as usual. We got back to the room, packed, and I was the last one to leave from the room. While walking back, the staff came and asked me if there isn’t a tip for him. Cheap bastard! He can’t extend time for us, at the lodge, I said that I don’t have money with me, go and see the other two guys. He said he’ll come down. I ran down, checked out. We walked our way to the Tagore Park again.

What the fuck. Somebody poked me from behind. It was cheap bastard again, he called, “saar,” like a beggar. He looked extremely healthy and physically strong. So I left Antony to do the talking. But, Binny went on, “You dint extend us time at the Lodge, we aren’t tipping you”, he went on justifying that it was the owners rule. We dint bother talking to him. We went away.

We went to Tagore Park again Where else, watched the light fading out. They spoke in alien language, I tweeted and then came the cat from the previous day. We were sitting on an Iron bench. We relaxed, took out our mobile phones and connected with the social world. That cat started playing around between our legs. It isn’t scared at all. It was hunting for a mouse I presume, it tried to jump into the river. But, it wasn’t stupid like female cat lovers to do so. XP. The first time I ever felt a cat was adorable.

The day was almost over; they got their cameras back to the back. We walked back and had two shavarmas each. It's a new age staple diet of many Malayalees. Took an auto to the station and reached by 8.15pm. Checked in on Foursquare, that bitch Rohit was still the Mayor. Antony and I went to the ticket counter, and asked for two tickets to Cochin and one ticket to Alwaye. That bastard without even lifting his head from the Newspaper he was fucking his face with said “Rs.199”. I asked him if there are AC tickets available, he said “NO”. We gave him Rs.200 and waited for him to give back Rs.1. He said, “No change for Rs.1”. Antony said “It's alright”, and he got the tickets. I thought for a moment and said, “Bhaiya, It's okay for that Rs.1, but please smile to us when you give the ticket, that’ll make our day.”

It was like a put a bomb on his face. His expression changed. He said it’s not by his choice; he has been working for the last 30 years with 4years in every station. Whenever any Malayalee goes to a Railway Station and asks for tickets, this generally happens;

“Sir, when is the next train to Cochin?”

The issuer says “8.30pm and 10.30pm”

The very next question the Malayalee asks would be “Is there one before that?”

So this is the incident he told us, Antony and I were not satisfied with the answer. I tried to argue, at least I asked him to smile only for Rs.1. And he tried to justify again. Blah. Fuckers. They are only welcoming to foreign tourists it seems.

We got to the tiny station and the train was expected to arrive at 9.05pm and guess what we saw at 8.55pm coming from the northern side and approaching our platform. HOLLY CRAP. It can’t be, Indian Railway system cannot make this possible. The train arrived at 10minutes earlier than scheduled. We got in to an AC coach and did our luck again. But this time around, it was hard luck, no chance at all. We moved on. Each time we see a TTR we tried to convert at least to a non AC sleeper, luck was against us. We found some place to stand in the door side of another AC compartment and next to the toilet. It wasn’t bad. But one thing I dint mention was that we were swooped by the Railway Guard Police. He said we can’t stay anywhere near to any of the Reservation compartments. We got some time in the next station. Moved our fat ass around and couldn’t find any place we could stand in the general. When the train was about to leave we got into very next coach to the AC coach, and it was blocked in between to prevent people passing by from one coach to another. So we got in, we rested our back next to the exit. Stood, rested, got cranky, rested, closed eyes, opened eyes, washed face, washed neck, tried to relax, tried to observe, tired, exhausted, images, Mahe, Thalassery, gulabi, Lime, Wedding, station, Biriyani, Camera, Eagle, Beach, Boat, Moosa, then called Lekshmi[Maddie and an Awesome buddy](she asked me to add the last part), spoke to her for some time when we reached Calicut, told her some stories, laughed, relaxed, got back on to train, battery drained, checked in at every station, finafuckingly reached Alwaye station by 1.50am. Bid adieu to Binny and Antony and thanked them for taking me along. I hope they take me again for a next trip. Walked back home, about 5km from station. Yes that was some crazy shit at that time. The palace grounds were scary. The Marthanda Varma Bridge was elegant as always. No light, lightning Raining and deserted roads. Checked in at every single place I’ve tagged in Alwaye map and got back home by 2.30am. As expected, the only welcoming I got was from my dog. Dad opened the door. I got to my room. Exhausted| Cold shower| Pyjamas| slept.

Clock ticked: 3.10am.

So that was my Trip. How you people doing??? And how did you like this post?? Good?? Better?? Or was it worse?? I dint keep a log on whatever happened in our trip. This is what I had left in my memory. Please leave give me a feedback in the comment section down here, Or leave me a message on Fb(http://www.facebook.com/krishbalboa) or Twitter(@krishnanrmenon) or a mail (krishnanrajeevmenon@gmail.com). If you liked it, click the like Button below. If you liked my previous posts and would like to receive updates, drop in your mail Id’s. Or you can Follow me here, for updates if you have a Google account. I am not done with the previous post I promised, will try to finish it soon! Sorry! Hope this is a heads up before you visit these places.

Love

#MADRISE

2012-04-11T12:25:00.001-07:00

Will you spend TWO minutes of your time to help MAD educate them?

Pick up your phone and text MHRISE P11 to 54646 or visit http://bit.ly/madvoting

http://bit.ly/madvideo

^ Click on this if you got a minute to watch a Video about the Campaign :) :)

WHY: Your vote will help MAD reach out to more than 5000 children next year!

Help us build a bright future for all of us! Because, together, we make a LOT OF difference!

S.H.K.U.O.L.L

2012-02-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

I was born in the early hours of March 22^nd, 1991. As a child, I used to boss around other kids saying, “When I was born on that Friday Morning, there was unusual rainfall and earthquakes in different parts of the world”. I wanted to let everyone know that I was born special and came with a bang. In my kindergarten classes, I still remember scaring the hell out of one kid when I told him that I was a ghost. He ran inside the classroom and hit himself in the wall. He passed out immediately and couldn’t remember why he was running around, which eventually saved me from yet another complain call to my parents from my Class Teacher Mrs. Nina. All the phone calls to my parents would either be, Krishnan just Hurt himself by hitting on the wall and is bleeding, or he has a swollen leg or the best of the lot would be the combinations of, “Krishnan is punching, slapping and kicking his classmates for no reason”, yes I used to be comparatively naughty among my classmates, I emphasize, COMPARATIVELY naughty, because I don’t want you to tell around “I did way more naughty things than you”. It's not something to appreciate about.

Moving on to the next building in the Beautiful campus; I realized I was one of those tiniest kids in that building. All of the rest were big guys. I literally mean BIG guys and girls. All were twice or thrice taller to me, there used to be days when I was scared pee in the toilet, when there used to be seniors around. I overcame my fear eventually. I no longer bossed around. I learned to pee by closing my eyes. Till then, there was this pot which had a beautiful Plant, back then I dint know what its name was, even now. But all I knew was, after one month of constant watering to the plant, it eventually stopped flowering and had a stinky death. Till date, nobody knows how it got killed.

I grew, I got taller stronger and sharper. Pencils and erasers was a nice way to experiment with. I drew quiet well, drew cartoon characters quiet beautifully, at least old people who I showed my drawings used to say so. They are all trained to be nice to young ones. Quiet funny, when you are a kid whatever you did would seek appreciation, but as you grow up It's always De-motivation or rather, discouragement. I have no clue if it’s true only for Malayalee’s. Generally, grown ups.

My experiments with adults, in account for how they react to situations have always been awesome. It’s very predictable how most of the adults react; you only need to know them for few minutes. Influenced by the second gen Sherlock Holmes, it is a mind blowing technique to deduce, respond to situations. It's quite surprisingly the best way to make things done in your own signature way. Always beware of Moriarty though; he’s a Pain in the Ass. You never know when, how he comes, and what shape he comes in. Screw Moriarty.

Somehow managed to pass in all classes and finally reached 5^th grade. Till then on a regular basis, my teachers did call my parents and used to tell them that, he’s fine, he’ll improve.

Marks aren’t bad. Blah blah blah. But in the middle of my 5^th grade, one of my teachers Mrs. Vineetha, during a PTA meeting told my mom, one of those biggest shocks in her life. I still have no clue, how she put the matter to mom. She must have taken it really hard, the teacher and my mom. Being an English teacher probably made things easier for her to convey the message. Dyslexia. A little more of explanation; Learning disability. Up until 5^th grade, where I had a little above average marks in all subjects, things started to untangle from then. Mathematics was an enemy. Science was nightmare. Would do anything in the world but Chemistry balancing equations. Listening to class was not my thing.

I was taken to this clinic to get tested, like Sheldon, where I was stamped just another victim of Attention Deficit Disorder. The doctor and other staff teachers tried to explain, it’s alright, nothing to worry about. And the fees paid were bloody alarming. And what I got in return were counseling, and new methods to learn. I was taken to the clinic every year, for an evaluation thingy which I found very boring and not to mention that the fees paid was double every year. I somehow managed to clear every academic year, in the border line of a warning. All my teachers knew that I had learning disability, and which was ultimately my wild card.

My attention span is 40 seconds. o.O

I cleared 10^{th and} 12^th grade with other “normal” students and with same correction pattern with an aggregate percentage of 72.2% and 66.2% respectively. Am not really proud of what I got but these..

10^th grade Mathematics: 95, [still feels sad that I dint read the first question properly, if I did, I would have had 99% for mathematics (my school teacher gave only 29/30 for the “practical exam”. Long story. In short, I shouted at her at the beginning of the 10^th grade academic year, since she went on to claim that I copied for a class test, which I happened to get 10 on 10, and still the truth remains that I dint copy, at least I pretended so)]

10^th Grade English: 74 [I never used to pass for English at any examinations conducted at school, am always thankful to the Best teacher I have ever had, Sati Madam, she gave English tuition classes]

12^th grade English: 84, I finished my exam in 2 hours. That is 120 minutes. Yes yes. It happened. I helped my friend Priyada who sat next to me for her paper and she went on to get 95 or something. She still owes me a treat.

12^th grade Computer: 79, [I love Cpp. It's a beautiful language. And still amazed how all the other computer languages have a base of cpp]. I got what I worked for.

That’s pretty much it, i have tonnes of things to write about school including the difficulties i faced, but pretty much a waste for you to read rather get emo fucked, will write something entertaining and an awesome one soon, done with this.

Love
K

Teaser title for the next blog
WH questions; Female

what how who when went by in 2011

2012-01-02T05:31:00.000-08:00

So, I’ve been thinking, how can I come with a bang bang Blog to begin with! Well, honest but truth, I tried really hard to get my fingers moving at the same speed my brain is working, which is practically impossible, blah. Hell with it.

Year 2011, like at the beginning of any other new year, started with a hope of being good, and building habits. But it was a bumpy ride, as expected in every alternate year, a major injury, which happened to be a Ligament tear in my ankle, the same thing that happened back in 2009. Yes, was in pain for days, and is still scared to run or play any sport. Don’t ask me how it happened, no complaints, loved that day.

It was the year I realized, I have no fucking clue what to do in life. I still want to be an actor, make movies, or play cricket for the national team.

Engineering en·gi·neer·ing/ˌenjəˈni(ə)riNG/

Noun:

The branch of science and technology concerned with the design, building, and use of engines, machines, and structures.

, well don’t ask me why I opt engineering, there was this dream to join the Indian naval command, but I never made the cut, right from the entrance exam once again. I’ve realized am an atheist, I don’t believe in the existence of the super natural power, often referred as GOD. Maybe we should give some space for Devil too. Poor mate, why would he want to be left out? Hypocrisy.

I suck at college, people around me thinks am an alien. All my teachers believe I have no reason to sit in their class. My IQ test shows that it’s 130, which I’ve no fucking clue what it means, but pretty sure that it’s definitely more than most of my teachers in the faculty. Stupid morons who never got a job, and losers in life trying to handle 60 odd students, who still have no clue wtf is engineering about. They suck, and they don’t realize it. Teaching is a passion, it's an art, and you practice the art and refine it to reach a level that you exceed in it. Here, they leave the college even before they get to know the kids. Bull shit, no point in wasting time to read and write about them.

I finally got hold of a Motorbike, a 1988 Enfield Bullet, a dream of every college going guy. It’s my dad’s, I get to take it to college every once in a while. College life is well known to build that long lasting friendship. I still don’t think I have a strong bond to any of my college mates or classmates. I found many like minded people, at an organization, Make a Difference. I met a lot of less privileged kids through this organization and got to Share lot of thoughts, happiness and laughter with them. Brilliant kids! If they don’t get caught up in the society’s monotonous rules, they have an awesome world ahead of them.

My obsession with the word AWESOME, was noted by everyone. I finally tried to watch the epic movie Lord of the Rings, and slept off halfway through it. Indian movies did really well, my favorites were, Dhobi Ghat, Delhi Belly, Zindagi Na Milegi Na Dobara, in bollywood, and Traffic, Salt and Pepper, Indian Rupee and Beautiful in Mollywood. Just for the records, I hated two movies, DON2 and RaONE. I swear, puke material.

One person I got really inspired by is iSteve Jobs. I’ll miss his charm and charismatic approach on how to deal with people. His biography is a classic.

I may have lost in touch with some beautiful people I have known. It could be my ego, pride, male chauvinist approach to life. I criticized my friends a lot. It might have hurt them. And I feel bad about it. There was this female I used to irritate a lot, talk to her every night on the phone. She was a friend, a companion. I completely lost in touch with her. I miss her. It's definitely because of my ego. Some things that I say tend to hurt her quite often, and I was done with her mono syllable replies in Texts and of course her smiley faces, I should have remembered she was a girl. I should also mention my ex girl. I have completely lost in touch with her. She might have blocked me in facebook; I myself have deleted her contact number. Well, life moves on, doesn’t it?

Quite surprising, I got along with a lot of females quiet well last year. Females are an interesting subject to study on. I will write a book on them later, learned quiet a lot more about their characteristics. I tried to escape from the people I knew, changed phone number after losing my mobile phone. I Dint bother to let everyone know that I changed number. I still don't know why i did that. Blah.

Started Listening to more of ACDC, Metallica, and BOB Marley. They are my favorites now. Though I can never remember the lyrics, I adore their songs.

All in all, I loved the way how it went. It was a bollywood drama movie. Digested the fact that people decide to get married after getting to know each other through Skype! But very glad, they get along well with each other. Am happy for them!

So it got over just like any other year, in 365 days [if you are still thinking of leap years, you must be a Malayalee, fuck you and let mullaperiyar alone save you]!

And this is me, the honest, real, true me. Sathyam! : )

The beginning

2012-01-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

Finafuckingly!

I am about to start this blog marathon, I always wanted to begin my blogs years ago. I created a number of accounts each time, but never had the urge to keep blogging. There are a million things that I want to type in. And of course, obviously, I’ve decided to take it slow, and one by one. To begin with, let’s sit back, relax and watch the movie 2012, on 31^st of December, 2012 hopefully, and have a laugh at it. Relax; nothing can bring down our beautiful earth. And never bring down any one of us.

So chill, you will definitely have a beautiful and awesome life ahead.

Peace