Kosker's Idlewild

i heart nature

2012-02-11T06:37:00.000-05:00

The new thing in this house is for Hazel to wake up at exactly 5:20 and insist on "MAMA DOWNSTAIRS!". I've begged and pleaded for her to simply play by herself or snuggle... but here I am. Already spent an hour fixing snacks (the girl is bottomless) and bleary-eyed internet browsing.

I followed a link from The Farrier's Daughter, whose home decor taste is impeccable. I mean, look at this bathroom... gasp!

Anyway, like Lindsey, TFD, I am completely enchanted with this artist. I've spent a full 15- minutes trying to choose just one to feature. I'm thinking that my guest room might have a huge collection of these framed on the wall... and at $15 a pop, it's a real possibility (just not till the kitchen reno is finished!).

With Valentine's Day just around the corner... in FEBRUARY... who thought that was a good idea? I can't help but dream of stealing my husband away and SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS... just the two of us...

i heart people

2012-02-10T09:53:00.001-05:00

This week has been full of positive communications with people from all over the US. Each time, I feel SURPRISED at the kindness of others. When did I become so jaded? Not sure, but boy... there are so awesome people in this world!

Here's a quick recap:

I had a disastrous experience at a favorite restaurant this weekend. The staff was very kind and promptly on Monday morning, the manager called me and fell over himself apologizing and fixing the situation (and my tooth). I don't want to give them bad press because it was a true freak accident... so this is all I'll say about the matter :)
Hubby is obsessed with his Mountain Khaki Original Mountain Pants. We got him a pair about 4 years ago and they still look good (he rotates between 2-4 pairs of pants at a given time... so they get worn A LOT)! A few months ago, we splurged and got him 2 more pairs... he does wear them for work, but they run about $60 on sale (here's where I pretend that I spend less than that on my pants...shh...don't tell... us tall girls have to pay a premium for length). However, they SHRUNK! Now, my hubs likes his pants to be a tad short (sigh)... however, they finally got to him... who wants to feel a breeze on their ankles in February? Anyway, I wrote a positive, yet truthful review on the MK website, and just yesterday was contacted by customer service. It's still in the works, but it seems that they had a misfit batch recently and we might be part of that batch... which will be replaced!
Speaking of MKO pants, before I knew about the above, I bought him a new pair at bigskycounty.com. I was supposed to receive 20% off, but didn't. Their customer service number didn't work, so I asked them about it on facebook. Not 3 hours later, I got a personal phone call and the problem was fixed!
As you may know, I'm a little obsessed with my kitchen reno right now. Stage 1 is happening next week (new ceiling and painting cabinets)... so I will continue to be scarce in blogland. For my open cabinets, I want to line them with a cool yellow paper. I've scoured the web for yellow wrapping paper that would work... NOTHING! So, I asked Dana from Made, I don't know her, but read her blog and she is the Queen of YELLOW CHEVRONS. She didn't know where I could get them, but directed me to Lindsey, a true paper guru, who promptly replied with some really great ideas.
Last week I was doing a Google search regarding writing for a magazine I receive, I couldn't find the info on their website, but found a blogger who wrote about being published in the current issue. I sent her an email and found a true internet soul mate! She's a librarian, has copper counter tops and mason jar lights!
An old friend's (ok, ex-boyfriend's ;) dad contacted me to ask if he could send my girls a handmade wooden toy... uh YES!
And finally, a new friend credits me for inspiring her to research (and fall in love with) home birth. She will be using the same midwife even :) She is so excited about her upcoming birth... quite a difference from how she felt after her last few preggo clinic and OBGYN visits.

Wow, someone needs to tell the news broadcasters and journalists that the world is a WONDERFUL place filled with AWESOME, KIND and GENEROUS people!

*post reflections: I HATE to complain, at least to people outside of my family. However, I'm getting much better with being positive and assertive. Next I'm gonna see if Bose has a fix to why my Bose stereo randomly changes channels, volume levels and most freakishly, turns on all by itself at random times! There's a fine line between "working the system" and working WITH companies. Like Johnny Cash, I WALK THE LINE, but I'm learning that a little kindness and honesty goes a long way!

ode to my mixer

2012-02-03T07:57:00.002-05:00

For years, I've been aware of the KitchenAid Mixer obsession. I don't think anyone that's had a bridal shower or wedding in the past 5 years hasn't had one on their registry (can you handle the double negatives?). Unfortunately for me, I've been married 5.5 years, before I knew about said mixer.

Though I lusted after one, it was merely a case of the Joneses... I figured, like a flat screen or iphone, it was merely something to own for the sake of owning (as someone who doesn't own an iphone is allowed to think).

I began to reconsider my position over the past year as I've been cooking more. Often recipes provide directions using a KitchenAid Mixer... as though EVERYONE who is ANYONE has one. I successfully adapted using my hand mixer. Successful that is until my cousin (Malu) hosted a Christmas cookie exchange and I attempted to make 10 dozen cookies. The little hand mixer tried it's best... so did my biggest metal bowl, but they were just not up to the challenge. *cue flour splashing all over kitchen*

My yearnings for this mixer became more vocal, but such a frivolous purchase is very low on our priorities. Enter HUSBAND OF THE YEAR and CRAIGSLIST! Through the help of some Christmas elves (our buddy Jason lived near the seller, 2.5 hours away from us, and Jake's mom was willing to pick-it-up from Jason and bring it for Christmas morning... as though everyone wasn't busy enough the week before Christmas!), I got a HUGE surprise Christmas morning.

Let me say, this thing is not over rated. I use it almost every day!

In fact, last night I used to it shred chicken! Didn't see that one coming did you? I might make this dish every week for the rest of my life! Wanna come over? I'll even let you drink the rest of the beer that's used in the sauce!

photo from howsweeteats.com (I ~~ate~~ hoovered mine too quickly to snap a photo!)

wild thing... you make my heart sing

2012-02-01T15:43:00.000-05:00

Here she is, Heidi Rose @ 10 months

because I can never choose just one, here are more of the many faces of Heidi-loo-who

and finally, my personal fave: CRAZ-O FACE! The moment before the laugh:

inspired to be

2012-02-01T08:16:00.001-05:00

It's the perfect hour. Hubs let me sleep a little longer, house is clean, kids are content, coffee is sweet and warm. Sitting at the kitchen table smiling while I read an email from my sis and look at pics of her daughter. My littlest fan crawls and peeks at me from around a chair. She grins when I say "Good morning Heidi" and she crawls as fast as her mini legs can take her. Pulling herself up, reaching for my knee, I envelope her sweetness as she nuzzles my shoulder, her way of asking for her favorite treat.

I spent this warm night acting as the world's most educated teddy bear as I hopped from one daughter's bed to the next. I rarely sleep with the oldest, but it was in order last night when she was under the impression that 1:00am was the perfect time to "awake Mama. Want to watch Dora." Then littlest one, alone in her corner of the house, banished until she fixes her night routine, yells and I am positive that my house has grown. It is a LONG walk to littlests crib. Snuggles and a very early morning feeding lull her back to sleep.

Back to my bed where the pillow awaits in the perfect position. I reach out to touch my beloved, pausing to reflect how rarely I cuddle with him these days. It's just a phase in life when our time and bodies are first given to our young. Soon enough it will be just us again. Gray and wrinkled, our house will feel too big and we'll want to remember... we live a blessed life.

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Today I will edit and post HEIDI's 10-month pics. You all guessed it... I reposted Hazel's yesterday! I had pulled up that collage so that I could try to replicate the photo shoot for Heidi. Hubby sat down, and really looked at the pics... NOT REALIZING they were his eldest daughter! Too funny!

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Finally, I wanted to share this nice quote with you. Read it on pinterest this morning (thanks LTB!):

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

A wild 10 months

2012-01-31T07:09:00.002-05:00

Wow, this FOXY lady is BEARing down on a year! I look at all her babyness and can't believe she'll be walking and talking soon.

Heidi is super quick at standing up and starting to take tentative steps from one piece of furniture to the next. She's a super fast crawler and sprints down the hall almost as fast as I walk. She LOVES following me around, however only one direction. So, for example (30 times a day) she'll follow me to the bathroom/laundry room. However once I'm ready to leave that end of the hall, if I walk PAST her, she HOWLS. I think she's a tad lazy :) Her 2nd favorite thing to do is hold on to both of my legs while I work in the kitchen. It's as close to being chained down as I care to experience. However, I kinda love the feeling of those chubby hands on my calves...and love how happy it makes her when I grace her with a glance.

She continues to have a pleasant demeanor, though we are constantly sleep training each other. Having both girls in one room has caused us a lot of lost sleep. This week, poor Heidi is sleeping in a different area of the house... so that she relearns how to sleep without mama. Last night, she went to bed at a normal baby time (7pm versus the norm 10pm) and only woke up ONCE (and is still sleeping now at 7am). Go Heidi!

However, she makes us WORK hard for her smiles. It takes a few peek a boos before she starts to smile and then giggle. We've started calling her SCRUNCY FACE because she loves to entertain us by scrunching up all her features. It looks so ridiculous and we immediately laugh. Of course, like her smile... she hides these expressions as soon as the camera appears. Humph!

Let's see... she's a great eater and enjoys all the solid foods I place on her plate to entertain her. Yesterday she ~~ate~~ covered her head in rice noodles, peas and kiwi. It's such a treat to get to eat my dinner while it's warm and then top her off with babyfood later.

Finally, I've just got to brag... this girl is MUSICAL! At 10-months Hazel began to wave her arms to direct the church choir. Heidi takes this to a new level. She begins swaying when the first note plays and gets more and more violent as the piece continues. Last week I was holding her in my arms as we practiced a beautiful, calm hymn... she was body banging the whole time. I could barely stand and hold her. When I pull out her sister's sit-n-spin that has an Abby Cadabby button, Heidi spends hours standing over the button, pushing it, and rocking back and forth.

Ok, who has noticed the trick I'm playing?

opinion seeking counter

2012-01-29T08:03:00.000-05:00

Hello friends. There's always lots of exciting things happening here at the Kosker farm. Currently, I have a huge gaping HOLE IN MY KITCHEN CEILING! Doesn't that sound fun?

Our kitchen is NEXT ON OUR TO DO LIST. I've been thinking about this project for about 2 years, so why oh why am I not ready?

Here's what we're going to do (a true kitchen overhaul on a DIME!)

fix water leak stain on ceiling. We've decided to get rid of drywall since that ceiling has leaked multiple times in it's 30-year life. We fixed the leak by putting heat tape on the roof (melting snow was the culprit), but better safe than sorry. This week, my dad and hubby got the saw out and cut into the ceiling to finally answer my question about why the kitchen ceiling is a foot lower than the other ceilings in the house (answer: duct work). We're gonna use nice wood paneling for our tiny ceiling.

from asastanford.com

Since I have a strong aversion to mixing wood colors, the wood ceiling is going to be as light as possible to compliment the dark wood beam that runs between the kitchen and dining room.
Currently, the kitchen cabinets are a nice maple. Much to all wood lovers chagrin, I am absolutely sure that I want to paint my cabinets. It's gonna brighten up our tiny kitchen. Something like this:

source

That's a similar size to my kitchen, though my counter extends past the stove (that might be the same stove too, though mine is black... I'm not into stainless appliances...REBEL!). My plan is to paint the lower cabinets a medium gray and the upper cabinets white.

Here's another kitchen in my color scheme. Which reminds me, one of the only changes I've made thus far was to take the doors off of some of my cabinets. However, the interior of my cabinets are unfinished. I need to do something with them... something YELLOW. Any ideas?

source

Next comes the new cabinet hardware. We chose a rustic hand-forged iron look that compliments the style of our chalet-inspired house.

source

Perhaps my biggest head thumping decision will be the new countertops. We have butcher block wanna-be laminate counters. I'm not opposed to laminate, but there are some really cool options out there for those of us in the anti-granite camp (I could never be on HGTV with my aversion to stainless appliances and granite counters!).

Should I choose:

BUTCHER BLOCK

source

CONCRETE

source

COPPER (this would be the most challenging DIY for us, but I know we could do it! I love the idea of the ever changing patina. It would be so warm looking... and copper is the most antimicrobial surface!)

What's your vote? Butcher block, concrete or copper?

Finally, I need to find an affordable single basin farmhouse sink... Eegads, guess we're not quite ready for this reno!

Dear me

2012-01-27T07:22:00.000-05:00

I'm tempted to Title this post "Dead girl walking". Not because I'm dead, but because I do often feel like the walking dead! If I met the me of 5 years ago, I would've given/ received a HUGE lecture. You see 5 years ago, when not working 1.2 jobs (a full-time job as a School Counselor and very part-time job as a Crisis Counselor), I was sitting ON MY BUM!

At the time, I was very wise and would often tell myself, within the next few years I'm gonna have kids, so I'd better rest NOW. And rest I DID! I stayed in bed late, only to get up to land on the couch and catch-up on internet tv... finish in time to join my night-shift husband for dinner... and then play on the internet all evening.

If I knew then what I knew now... it wasn't just a time to rest, I could've been SO PRODUCTIVE! With kids, productive is making the time to eat 3 meals myself... and that happens rarely. With kids, rest is squeezing out my own internet time at 6:30 am while cartoons entertain the toddler and the baby climbs across the keyboard (I typically have to write posts/emails 2-3 times before I can send it off without her "help").

I'm glad I vegged and rested, I might hate that version of me if I met me today, but I enjoyed it and relished it. However, I sigh when I think of all the awesome crafts I could've made. I sigh when I think of all the writing-for-hire I could've done. And I cry when I realize that I could've written my book.

Instead, I will continue to try to whittle an hour here, an hour there for myself... Damn I'm tired!

sooo glad that's over!

2012-01-23T06:30:00.001-05:00

This was supposed to be a fun weekend. My friend, Shannon, was coming to spend Saturday-Sunday. I haven't seen her since September and we had LOTS to catch-up on! Then on Sunday, Jake was looking forward to taking a coworker/friend and his kids hiking in our woods and then serving a nice dinner.

Soon after Shannon arrived, I began to feel queasy. It continued to worsen and after about 2 hours of chatting, I ran upstairs never to return again. I'm SO thankful that Shannon and Jake are also friends so that it wasn't super awkward. Also, Shannon was awesome and dove right in as Hazel's playmate. Seriously, she put in overtime as Hazel's pseudo-Aunt. THANK YOU SHANNON! Shannon has a great memory and was referencing all these funny things that have happened to us in the past... things I had completely forgotten about. I'm not likely to forget this weekend though :)

Hazel is old enough to understand that "Mama sick". She was very concerned and would quietly peek in periodically. Sunday morning I was feeling good enough to smile and let her lay in my bed. She was so happy... and calm... how can I harness that calm when I'm not sick?

Apart from being in labor, I've never felt worse. Thankfully, it was a 24-hour bug and now I'm feeling like my old self and ready to start the week! What a waste of a perfect weekend!

Hazel had a milder form of the bug on Thursday and though her activity level is back to normal, her appetite and sleep are still off. She went to bed 2 HOURS early last night!? Jake and Heidi started suffering yesterday. Heidi just needed to spend the day cuddling on the couch (oh, if I must :) , eating little and keeping even less down, and Mr. Health seems to be bypassing the worst of it... hope that continues!

Off to disinfect every surface I've touched the past 48 hours!

more right than wrong

2012-01-21T08:46:00.000-05:00

Early morning reflections can be a good thing. I'm not tired, I'm not cranky, the house is still tidy and peaceful.

Here's what I've done right this week:

Finished organizing the upstairs medicine/bathroom storage cabinet. For 7 years, I've moved boxes and boxes of toiletries. Free samples, mostly empty tubes, non-exciting smells, etc. I am unable to throw these perfectly useful items away, but I don't use them! I prefer the new products! For the past YEAR, I've whittled away at these products.... mostly because my budget doesn't allow for such needless purchases. So, after a year of using up bath & beauty products and a year of feeling stressed every time I opened that closet... it is zen! I can't tell you how many times I've opened the door just to look at the organization in there!
Organized the 2 turn-around shelves in my kitchen. I can now find lids to storage bowls and ...uh... actually turn the shelf w/o things falling off! This also entailed cleaning off a corner of my countertop that I've allowed to become a collection zone. Convinicng myself that guests wouldn't notice. Seriously, it took a mere 5 minutes to put those misc items back where they belong!
Organized the kitchen junk drawer. OMG... I refused to even take a before picture it was so unreal. It was my grandparents junk drawer, and clearly we didn't clean it and just added to it. There was the most ridiculous stuff in there! So much that I wouldn't be able to get it all to fit back in there if I tried! YUCK!
UNPACKED some random boxes of random junk that have been sitting in the basement for about 2 years! I even found some things that I've sworn were missing... go figure!
ART & MUSIC & READING! While my house does scream "KIDS LIVE HERE", I (try) keep all the plastic, noisy toys tucked away in the play room/balcony. In our main living areas I keep only ART SUPPLIES (play dough, colored pencils, crayons, paper, stickers), MUSIC SUPPLIES (an array of professional drums designed for kids, maracas, bells, tambourines...), a basket of books, a cloth IKEA BARN stuffed full of cloth animals, and a fair-trade basket stuffed with baby toys and a few toys that weren't put away upstairs. So our main living area still has plenty of goodies around for the kids, but hubby and I can stand the sight of our own house! (ok, our leather storage ottoman is also used as a toy box, but I rarely open it so that the toys inside are exciting to the kids)
Speaking of ART, Hazel LOVES to paint! My parents, our neighbors & Hazel's playmates, have been on vacation for about 2 weeks. This week while talking on the phone to Hazel, Junko/Grandpa asked her to make him a snowflake and Llama/Grandma asked her to make her a balloon. I hope they get home SOON... she's been in production for days :) This morning (it's only 8:30am), she's painted a snowflake, a balloon and 3 hearts (the hearts are for mama, daddy & our soon-to-arrive guest, Shannon). Each time she finished one, she tells me who it's for and says "This make ___ sooo happy!".

Well, it's time to start the day... feeling good about all the things I've done right and forgiving myself for all the things I've done wrong (notice how I didn't share those :) It's silly how long I've let these LITTLE projects hang over my head. 10 minutes of organizing to free myself from a monkey on my back... WHAT TOOK ME SO LONG?

handmade Christmas 2012

2012-01-18T11:07:00.000-05:00

Hi all! I am so inspired this year to continue my surprising new-found-love of crafting! I think about crafting with felt and wool all.the.time! This morning, I thought of a brilliant idea: start a blog group that preps for Christmas 2012 by making ONE GIFT A MONTH. Of course, I'd have to make a new blog for this so that I could hide it from all the people I'll be making gifts for. Lucky for me, I googled the idea first, and Sew Like My Mom has already pitched the idea (and I think she already knows how to throw linky parties each month... one less thing I need to learn/ squeeze into my limited computer time). So, I'll be joining her each month... and attempting to hide my gifts from my nosy family :)

So, who is gonna join us? If we make ONE THING A MONTH, we'll have 12 awesome handmade gifts! Now, we just need to give ourselves credit and give ONLY the handmade gift! My sister and I always intend to do this but then feel guilty that we didn't spend money, so we pair the handmade gift with something. NO MORE I SAY! My thought, time & talents are the best gifts that I can give my loved ones!

Need some inspiration (or want to request something specific?), here is my Pinterest craft idea board :)

EASY diy silhouette ornament

2012-01-13T09:30:00.000-05:00

Silhouettes are incredibly beautiful... and popular! I don't own Photoshop and have not been able to turn a picture into a digital silhouette via Picassa. Ho hum... I really really wanted on that bandwagon!

After lots of time looking online for ideas and inspiration, I combined a few and created my own EASY DIY SILHOUETTE ORNAMENTS.

I didn't take pics of the process, because it's really so easy that once I tell you my little secret, you'll completely be able to replicate this idea! The hardest part was getting nice silhouette pictures of babies and toddlers. I made these for 6 of my favorite babes. Some silhouettes were better than others. Hazel's, pictured above, is my favorite. A crisp profile, slim neck, and curled ponytail!

TIPS for getting a good profile pic:

Take lots and lots of pictures while the kids are playing. I started this in October so I could take the pics while the kids were playing outside. I was so glad to have these pictures when it came time to make Christmas ornaments.
If your best profile pic is of the child looking over his/her shoulder, you need to FAKE A NECK when you cut it out. I neglected to do that for one and a silhouette is not nearly as nice if it ends at the chin!
If the child has long hair, pony tails look best. Hair that hangs past the neck gets lost in a silhouette and the child will look bald or simply odd.
Encourage fly away hairs! Crazy, I know, but boy and baby silhouettes look better if you can cut a few hairs sticking up.

How to turn your pic into a silhouette:

crop it so that it fills a 4x6 frame. Be sure not to crop the top of the head or neck.
Print it on thick paper (black and white printing is fine!)
Simply CUT OUT around the face, hair AND NECK (seriously, don't forget the neck!)
Using a foam brush, paint the entire silhouette (the secret!). I used black for the pic above... then I ran out of black paint. So I used brown, which was blah, so I sprayed some adhesive on it and added gold glitter. I feel like the glitter took away from the details of the profile. So, in the future (or when I finish the sets for the grandparents... hopefully before next Christmas... there's no excuse for my extreme procrastination, this project is fast and easy... I just like to self-sabotage.. but that's a whole separate post)... IN THE FUTURE, I will stick to solid colors, but not brown.
Allow the paint to dry (duh). My pics seriously curled and some of the paint got marred. So, perhaps tack your pics down with putty first. I had to do about 3 coats because I printed my pics on glossy photo paper.
For the ornament, you can use cardboard, felt, or foam board. I opted for foam board because it holds its shape and easy to write on! I used a drinking glass to make the circle, and added a small tab. I used a hole punch to make the hole look clean and nice.
Hot glue the silhouette onto the ornament.
On the reverse of the ornaments, I put an outline of the child's hand, their name, and the date.

note: for babies or impatient toddlers, paint their hand with nontoxic paint and have them make a lot of hand prints on a piece of scrap paper. Cut-out one of those hand prints and trace that onto the ornament.

Using a small piece of pipe cleaner, make a hook and attach it through the ornament's hole.

a lifetime of firsts

2012-01-06T16:28:00.000-05:00

One of the gifts of motherhood is getting the chance to observe growth. I'm positive that I could blog about a FIRST everyday. It's simply incredible.

Today, I noticed how Heidi has mastered a monkey cling with her arms, feet, hands, and head anytime I get near her crib. She used to love sleeping there and now fights it with her whole being. Oh how it pulls at my heart strings to pry her off me and set her down. The looks of sadness and betrayal cuts right through me.

Today, I noticed how perfectly Hazel and Logan (her playmate) enter into each yoga pose. It's an activity that I've only done a few times, and today in my sleep-deprived state (ahem Miss Heidi!), it seemed like a great thing to do. Their little toddler bodies move so gracefully and though they don't always do the pose I'm leading, they often end up in perfectly formed poses. Proof that yoga is the perfect, natural movement for our bodies.

Today, I heard a small scuffle and a high-pitched squeal. A noise I hear often when the toddlers are having problems sharing. I was (and am) sitting in my favorite chair at the base of the steps. I have a perfect view of our living space AND the playroom loft above. In my best "mom" voice, I said "you both need to share or that toy will go in time-out for the rest of the day". This happens A LOT. As I started up the stairs, I heard absolute silence. Two guilty eyes were peering at me from around the couch. For the first time ever I heard "mama, no come up here!". I've always been wanted for playtime and thought it was amusing that they never associated mama-the-playmate with mama-the-dictator.

Today, I helped Heidi walk a foot or two as I held onto her hands. Then I watched Raegan, her playmate, walk a whole 3 steps unassisted!

The times...they are a-changing...

tabernacle coup

2012-01-04T07:49:00.003-05:00

If you ~~were lucky enough to~~ spent any time with me this past holiday, I probably engaged you in a discussion on how a disproportionate of bloggers are mormon. Almost without fail, if I find a blog that is trendy, happy, encouraging, inspiring, filled with pics of beautiful people and to-die-for homes, that blog will have a little LDS button somewhere.

Over the holiday, one of my favorite bloggers used some language that leads me to believe that she is also mormon. UGH. While I respect their beliefs, this kinda pisses me off... in a jealous kind of way.

They've got a few things figured out and I'm racking my brains trying to think of how I can catch my ELCA religion up (that's the cool Lutherans. in a nut shell: we (you too) are saved by God's grace and faith is a gift).

I did a little googling and I'm not the first nonLDS blogger to notice this phenomenon. Some of the reasons this is occuring is/may be because mormon women marry young, have husbands who hold down solid jobs, have their adorable kids while still young and energetic and need a creative outlet while staying home. Also, they are encouraged to focus on beauty, in a non-shallow way. So, having an Anthropologie catalog home, stylish clothes, and whipping up cool crafts is actually a manifestation of their religion. It seems that journaling is an important aspect of their daily life, so I guess I'm not the only one who views this as their personal journal. Finally, their church elders have ENCOURAGED them to be into social media... BRILLIANT!

There are a few Lutheran bloggers out there. Though I've only discovered ONE who I don't rub shoulders with in real life. I'm frustrated by this fact. To make matters worse, of the cool, hip mama Lutherans I know, many of them are attending nonLutheran churches. While on one level, I respect that and encourage people to connect with God in whatever way works for them. On another level, this ticks me off (I'm fiesty this morning). Being a member of the Evangelical Lutheran Church is SO much more than attending my local church every week. Nope, we're conquering world hunger, sending in aid workers where they are needed, teaching tolerance and hope, taking care of our neighbors (though they rarely know where we worship), etc. It's not just one building, it's a network around the globe that is making a huge difference.

So, when people leave this network because another church has better musicians or a better youth program, I get it. I'd love more guitars in my church. I'd love a larger youth group. However, I believe in the mission of the ELCA church too much to ditch.

We need to buckle down and make these things happen. We need our church leaders to encourage social media. Not to evangelize... we suck at that... because we're so respectful of other's faiths. However, we need to be more visible. We need to support each other more so that we can be stay-at-home-moms-who-blog, instead of a network of young families too busy to take the time to enjoy each other. We need to RECOMMIT TO OUR CHURCHES and build them into the type of facility that attracts others. What we have is so awesome, but if we don't share and grow, we will wither and die.

I was raised in my church, it is my home, my family. However, if I was a newbie, what would entice me to stay? Sure, people smile at me and shake my hand, but would I stick around long enough to understand the beauty and simplicity (and complexity) of the Lutheran faith? Would I be excited about the money I give knowing how it will be used at home and abroad? How long would I have to attend until I understood the richness of the liturgy and didn't think everyone was being robotic and/or wierd? Though, I'm sure I would sample the fair trade chocolates and coffees we Lutherans are so addicted to (yup, most Lutheran churches have it for sale at cost).

*personal note to my mormon and non-Lutheran-church-attending-Lutheran friends: I hope hope hope I haven't upset you. I'd love to hear your point-of-view on all I've said. Above all, we each need to do what is best for us and for our families. I love you and value your friendships!

viva la resolution

2012-01-03T07:37:00.002-05:00

I don't do resolutions, but I do step back and evaluate. Last year I had a baby, managed to not ignore my 2-year-old, enjoyed some good times with the hubby and shared many meals with friends & family.

It was a great year, but exhausting!

Now that my family is complete, it's time to nurture. Making memories is something that can't be ignored. Sure, my kids will be happy, loved and healthy if we just go through the motions every day... but each day will melt away in memory. So this year, we are going to seek out new (free or cheap) adventures! When my girls ask about the year they turned 1 & 3, I want to have some solid memories for them!

I am also looking into the future and though we're still a few years away from when I will return to work and they will start school, I need to keep myself "current". If I go back to School Counseling, I can't simply coast for a few years and expect to be hired. Nope, I need to join some professional organizations, read scholarly literature, seek relevant volunteer opportunities. If I want the option of being a work-at-home writer instead, I need to TRY some real writing and seek publication.

Baby steps. Twice a month, I will be leaving my comfy home filled with giggly girls and I will spend my Saturdays working on the above. Luckily for me, my parents have an empty, beautiful, calming apartment with internet! Yet another perk of living next door!

WISH ME LUCK (and wild success)!

a rosey 9 months

2012-01-02T13:41:00.000-05:00

Dearest Heidi,

I'm sorry that I never post these on time (which would have been December 30th). At 9 months, you're a mix of pure baby and pure personality. You still LOVE to nap on our chests in that way that only babies can do (ie flopped, spread limbed, sweaty). You also have a baby's sad face and cry which happens often as you tend to crawl toward hazardous walls and furniture and hit your head (repeatedly... learn to go in reverse little one).

However, you're also shedding a lot of your babyness (*sniff*). Your 2nd tooth just poked through, you crawl EVERYWHERE, you LOVE to giggle (peek-a-boo and tickles are your favorite games), you no longer cry yourself to sleep within a few minutes... nope, now you cry and move around trying to pull yourself up to standing (which you are doing more often. even in the bathtub! Yowser! ).

Due to your teeth, the coldness of your room (windows are being replaced ASAP), your need for some alone time with your parents, or something else, suddenly you're demanding on sleeping in our bed. You've been out of our bed since you were a newborn, so this was quite unexpected! Though I LOVE smelling you and cuddling you in the wee hours of the night, you sleep like a STARFISH and take up a disproportionate amount of the bed. We want to let you cry it out and break this bad habit, but since you share a room with your sister, it's a bit hard to let you scream for extended periods of time. Hopefully you fix this on your own!

Your first Christmas was wonderful. You've left the tree alone and thoroughly enjoyed playing with piles of crinkly paper on Christmas morning. You also are enjoying choosing which toys to play with and when.

Heidi-who, we sure do love you (even if you put EVERYTHING in your mouth and crawl towards the camera faster than I can click)!

visual highlights

2011-12-28T21:00:00.001-05:00

My heart is full. Here are a few reasons why:

My quartet getting ready to go to the Christmas Eve service. The pics with a flash look too bright and cold, this pic is fuzzy, but sparkling.

The girls were troopers to wear their super warm wool dresses for our not-so-cold Christmas. They are truly all I want for every holiday from now until forever. Who can resist this sweetness?

all I want for Christmas is my FIRST TOOTH! (number 2 pushing through as I type)

As for the excitement of PRESENTS... WOW! The ripple effect from over stimulation is still rockin' our boat. It was actually upsetting to Hazel to receive so many wonderful presents because all she wanted to do was PLAY! It took us an entire day to get through the gifts from Santa, parents, and one set of grandparents.

However, as you can see, the annoyance of having to focus on opening presents was minor compared to her complete glee over every new thing (though I have to admit, the whoopie cushion in her dad's stocking is Hazel's most played with gift). Heidi also really enjoyed all the fun! She's still having a blast crawling around the house exploring and picking out which toys to play with. Currently she's neck deep in a basket full of all her new books!

As for me, I've enjoyed hosting Jake's mom and stepdad, his brother who made a super cool gift I'll feature later, three of my cousins and FINALLY... my sister, bro-in-law and NIECE from Alaska! BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!

Hazel @ 29 months, Annie @ 15 months, Heidi @ 9 months
matching outfits compliments of their Grandma Llama. I get my love of matchy-matchy honestly :) Heidi was NOT enjoying this frosty photo shoot!

in general, I don't think my girls look much like their cousin... until I saw this picture! WOW!

This weekend, we'll share some Christmas and New Year celebrations with Jake's dad and stepmom. I love stretching out holidays so the flame of excitement gets lots of time to warm our hearts.

oh, one more pic 'cause I just love these girls so SO SO much!

it's the most wonderful time

2011-12-23T09:19:00.000-05:00

I'm a bit behind on my to-do list, but DESPITE THE FACT THAT I'VE BEEN UP SINCE 4:30 (oh Hazel, I can't wait to return these favors someday), I'm going to have an uber productive day and then get to relax and enjoy the next few days. Sounds like a tall order, but it's achieveable.

Hubby begged and pleaded with me to take a nap today since our kids will be napping at their grandparents house. Seems he thinks I might push myself too hard and then be a bit cranky tonight. BA HUM BUG. Oh, that proves him correct... Well, I arranged these kid-free hours to get things done and done will be done (that makes sense to me)!

My goals for today are: clean the entire house, prep Christmas day foods & wrap presents. I should have no problem doing all of that in about 3-4 hours if I have no "helpers" in the house! This evening, we will finally decorate our tree (twice as tall as any tree we've ever had and the local stores are all out of lights already! oops!).

Then tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow! CHRISTMAS EVE... my favorite! Christmas Eve continues to have an aura of wonder and excitement for me. Deeply feeling the humanness of my Lord's birth, singing Silent Night in a candle lit church with those I love most dearly, sharing gifts with loved ones, eating decadent foods and most of all, watching Hazel enjoy it all. Ok, Heidi too, but she's really to young for it all. Still, she'll bob her body in rhythm to Silent Night and chew wrapping paper and have a wonderful time.

But Hazel, wow! This morning (at 4:30 am... did I mention that yet?), she said to me: "Hadel got tree for YOU!". She had! And as for presents... oh how she LOVES them! Check out this montage from her Grandma Llama's birthday 2 weeks ago. She knows just how to react after a man gives you a small gold box ;)

*notice the picture behind my dad's head. Hazel wanted to decorate with balloons for Llama's birthday party and I didn't have any. So, she drew lots and lots of colorful circles on paper and we hung them on the windows. It's the first time she "drew" something specific. I was SO surprised!

and Christmas Eve is just the tip of the iceberg! Christmas morning with Jake's mom and stepdad, Christmas dinner with his brother, 3 of my cousins visit for a few laughter filled days... and then MY SISTER, CHRISTOPH and ANNIE have a 3-day layover as they fly from Germany to Alaska. Sorry, but no present can compare to getting to spend some time with them. Last Christmas we said goodbye not knowing how much time would pass before we'd be together. So, don't look for me online... I'll be snuggling with my 1-year-old niece and taking one bajillion photos.

p.s. if you're a local friend who also wants to see my sister... SORRY! We are locking them up in the Compound and are not sharing any of our time with them. For reals :)

maintaining the Christmas balance (sneak peek pics added)

2011-12-21T07:29:00.001-05:00

*addendum* OK OK... the mothers have spoken! I snapped a few pics of the girls dresses and have added them. They're not great, but it's the middle of the day and the babies will soon awake and the toddlers were very impatient to jump all over the camera frame :)

One of my homemade gifts this year... a tea wreath! Sized to fit inside your cabinet door, much classier than laying boxes of teas on the counter for your guests to peruse!
My easy-peasy Christmas pillows! The large one is simply a premade felt bag that I slipped over my pillow! The green ones are my everyday pillows that I tacked small red stockings onto.
Hazel's PURPLE sweater dress and matching headband/ ear warmer! Really poor picture, many more when she wears it!
Heidi's red & black snowflake sweater dress with matching bonnet.

When I made and organized my holiday TO DO list, I forgot to add blogging. So, my apologies for not have some awesome holiday preparation posts. There's a lot going on that I want to share, I just don't have the time to share! In my fantasy world, I'll start my holiday preparations a month in advance, have wonderful tutorials to share, stellar photographs of it all and still be vegging with a cup of hot cocoa by 9pm every night.

The reality is that I've been up past 11pm every night and up again before 6am every morning. Definitely not a schedule I can maintain, but I'm truly having a blast!

I LOVE Christmas dresses for my girls. It's the one time when I really put thought and attention into their attire. Last year a saleswoman scolded me when I asked where the Christmas dresses were. It was the week before Christmas and they were all sold out! It turned out great for me since I was able to piece Hazel's ensemble together from their non-Christmas clearance racks. Last year was black velvet with deep pink accents. LOVED IT!

This year, I had an elaborate plan built around Hazel's red & black checkered flannel shirt. Huh? Yup! The shirt DOES have ruffles and I was gonna made a gorgeous black skirt and a coordinating red & black jumper for Heidi. I was at Goodwill a few weeks ago (since it's in our MALL!) and saw an awesome red & black wool sweater. Immediately I thought, "I bet I could use that to make Heidi's jumper".

Well, that idea has taken on a life of it's own. I'm elbow deep in felting wool sweaters (I picked up 4 more at Goodwill this weekend) and making things out of this thick, warm, gorgeous fabric. It's SO fun to work with! You simply shrink your sweaters until they don't unravel when cut. I feel a little like the Grinch when he takes his scissors, quickly cuts out a Santa suit shape, throws a few stitches in and badda BING... he has an outfit!

I've now made 2 dresses (which take about 30 minutes start-to-finish! well, they would if I ever did one thing at a time and/or was kid free for 30 minutes), 5 headband/ear muffs, a really warm bonnet for Heidi, a set of cashmere mittens, countless roses to decorate it all, and I've barely DENTED my stock pile! Oh, why oh why didn't I start this before this week?

Photos to come, I promise! In the meantime, blare some Christmas music and remind yourself that your TO DO list isn't nearly as important as your sanity :)

finding a balance

2011-12-15T13:01:00.000-05:00

Today my lovely husband popped home for ~~a nooner~~ lunch because he was driving past the house and he thought it'd be nicer to eat at home than in his office. Unfortunately for him, he didn't know that I'm setting some firm boundaries with the kids I hang-out with (today I'm "chillin" with 3 extras).

One of my 2-year-olds just does not like food. She's a very happy & bright girl, but she needs to eat. Her parents recently met with a panel of experts and one of the new rules is that food is only available when she is in her chair and only during a meal time or official snack time. It makes total sense to me and I've started incorporating it the other 6 days a week when she's not here. I've been really lax about snacks and allow goldfish/ etc to be constantly available (ie scattered across the couch). Also, if the kids can't stuff themselves with processed carbs (the easiest type of snacks), they'll actually FEEL HUNGRY and EAT THEIR DINNER!

As you may know, Hazel LOVES food. Her favorite foods are hummus and pb/honey sandwiches. She tries everything and likes almost all of it. However, often by meal times, she isn't hungry enough to eat much of the good stuff. I do offer fruit and veggie snacks, but not as often as I should.

Back to today, the other part of the new rules for this sweet pea is that she must be in her chair for 15-min snacks and 30-minute meals. Suffice to say, there's a lot of screaming and crying. She thinks I'm torturing her. (Though I did see her sneak in a few snacks between cries!) Her crying was so loud that it woke up a slumbering infant who then also cried for a 1/2 hour since I wouldn't stop everything else and hold her.

I'm setting boundaries... did I mention that? When an infant cries, I offer a quick hug, a snack, a diaper change &/or a toy. If none of those work and the crying continues, OFF TO BED!

It all feels much meaner then it's sounding. However, there's a reason I mentioned that my sanity has been precarious lately (in a previous post). I have a grad degree that pretty much can be summarized into empathy skills, active listening skills, and understanding the devastating effect indulging OR neglecting children can have. Yet, there are days when if I were a fly on the wall in my own home... boy would I have some scolding and lecturing to do with myself (not with neglect though... hope you didn't wonder about that!).

So, yeah, dear hubby did not get the peaceful lunch he was hoping for. In fact, he immediately began calculating how much extra work he'd need to pick-up so that this wouldn't happen to me every day (of course, that was one the most difficult 1/2 hours I've had).

I'm positive that things will soon improve as I hold my boundaries and the kids adjust. However, this article that I read this morning really says it all. The title is: How much childcare do you DESERVE? Wow, me deserve childcare? Aren't I mother-of-the-year for choosing to spend 90% of my waking hours with my children? Aren't I the most generous friend ever to welcome in 3 of my friends' sweet children? Actually, I feel GUILTY (a chronic problem of mine) that my friends pay me for my time and that I don't give them evenings free to do their shopping/ housework/ pursue their own interests.

It's true. All mothers DESERVE childcare. If I forced myself to ask for/ accept just a few hours a week, perhaps I'd write that book I'm constantly dreaming about. Perhaps I'd go on a walk all alone. Perhaps I'd have energy to be a loving wife and not just the mother-of-his-kids...

FYI: I typed this with a kitchen counter overflowing with dirty dishes, juice containers, soup pots, things screaming to be returned to the fridge & while 3 toddlers and 1 infant nap... and one infant climbs back and forth over my lap (I rarely sit on chairs anymore).

youngster proof Christmas tree

2011-12-12T11:06:00.000-05:00

If you spend any time on Pinterest, you have seen this idea, but for those of you that haven't... prepare to be amazed. Ok, maybe I'm overselling this, but amazed was my reaction. I love finding simple ideas that are so OBVIOUS, yet I never would have thought of it without inspiration. Here's a link to the original inspiration.

My homemade felt on felt Christmas tree. Two of my favorite weekly visitors are testing it out for me... they approve!

Since most days I have 2 toddlers and 2 crawlers (holla holla Heidi just started cruising Friday evening!), I was not excited about the prospect of spending most of my days saving the tree from curious hands and pine needles from infants' digestive tracts. Here is the answer to my dilemma! I made my tree about 5 feet tall, gave it a Grinch-y twist and made a few ornaments. SO EASY!

Jake's Aunt Lou recently gave me a bin stuffed full of ribbons, rick rack & lace. So I spent about a 1/2 hour cutting and hot gluing and whadda-bing-whadda-boom... A toddler proof tree just asking to be redecorated (note: felt sticks to felt!). So thanks Aunt Lou! You saved me lots of time and money and made our tree look WAY cuter than the plain ornaments I would've come up with. I plan to make a lot more ornaments in the future!

I do LOVE a real Christmas tree, but I'm gonna wait until the week of Christmas. My sanity is precarious enough as it is :)

Careful what you wish for!

2011-12-08T10:16:00.000-05:00

This holiday season has been full of PURE JOY! The excitement and magic are tangible in my 2.5 year old. For example, IF she's good (for most of the day... she is a toddler after all), Santa turns on Christmas lights that are in a tree outside her bedroom window. Each time she sees them she yells "Merry Christmas". We have no idea where she learned to say that, but it certainly makes this Scrooge feel merry. The first time she saw it, she ran to her Santa nightlight and said "Thank you"!

On Monday, we decided to take the girls to meet SANTA! SO exciting! I'll share that picture another day. Today, I want to share the video I made of our first rehearsal. As you will see, I had to help her edit her wish list:

Ha Ha Ha! So glad I caught that on tape! Not to ruin the awesomeness of that video, but I should mention that she had just discovered a Christmas mouse that "poops" (not sure why I put quotations there, but I'm keepin 'em) candy. The POOP (love that word) reservoir quickly emptied and Hazel had been asking all day for me to fill it.

For the record, she ended up asking Santa for BOOKS and PURPLE TOYS for Heidi. I have a feeling that Santa is so gonna nail it this year!

Heidi Rose @ 8 months

2011-12-02T21:52:00.000-05:00

photo by Whitney Lehman Killinger during our Thanksgiving photo shoot. We had fun playing around with some Christmas card ideas. Since the computer I upload my photos on to is still injured.... I'm using these adorable photos from Whit for her 8-month post. Since, the 7-month photos are still ON my camera and not on the blog :(

Heidi-loo-who, how I love you... Sweet Heidi hears many versions of that verse. I can't help but sing it to her ALLDAYLONG, pausing only to nuzzle into her ~~folds of fat~~ neck! Hazel truly thinks here name is "Heidiwho".

At 8 months, Heidi is often found on her hands and knees, rocking front and back, experimenting with drawing one knee forward, one hand forward, rock rock rock, face plant on the ground, CRY... It's been WEEKS since she's mastered getting into the crawl position and though she certainly has gone forward a few times, she doesn't understand how it works. It's a frustrating life for her!

She checks in at 18.1 pounds! Wow! That's a lot of sweetness. She's wearing 6-9 month clothing and growing steadily.

Her favorite foods are any fruits, followed up by veggies (as long as they're super purred... so she pretty much refuses to eat my homemade foods), and the newest addition, HAM! However, she really doesn't like cereal, but I keep trying and mixing it with fruit so that she gets some iron. I'm using a lot of store bought baby food, something I only used when I traveled with Hazel. I really really hope that she doesn't develop some bad food habits, like only eating processed foods.

The other trademark move of 8-months is her CLAW! I trim her nails almost daily because she is a grabber/scratcher/kneader. Seriously, some days my neck looks like I lost a fight with a cat. Given the chance, she grabs my lip, neck or chest and rapid-fire-clasps. Suffice to say, I've learned to feed her while pinning one of her hands under my arm and holding the other hand.

Another bad habit that she's started... well with her dad's encouragement (ahem): About an hour after bedtime (8:30pm-ish), she awakes and cries until we (he) retrieves her and allows her to snuggle on his chest until his bedtime (midnight-ish). Her snuggles are life's greatest joy and her babyness is so fleeting. However, some nights... I ~~curse at~~ glare at them both. Take right now, it's 9:40pm and Heidi just started screaming and now... she is on my lap, sucking her two fingers, looking as innocent as...uhhh...is there a phrase to finish that sentence? YOU GET MY POINT! So instead of some much needed ALONE time tonight, I will be snuggling this sweet smelling ball of goo. Ok, I no longer feel sorry for myself. Wait, if I zerbert her neck, she'll wake up enough to giggle. Ahhh... that's the stuff... Ok, back to sleep Heidi. I mean it! I'm your mama! You should listen to me! I'll give you the stink eye... WHY IS MY STINK EYE SO INEFFECTIVE?

Wow, guess what kind of day I had at home with 3 two-year-olds and 2 eight-month-olds? Time to back away from the computer... very slowly...

Another sneak peek:

there's just gotta be a clever caption for this one!

How babies are made...

2011-12-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

This brought a smile to my face. Happy Friday to all!

News from Don Rob on Vimeo.

sparkle eyed and bushy (reindeer) tailed

2011-11-30T07:42:00.003-05:00

I got a 5-hour stretch of sleep last night! My mega sleeper has been cluster feeding at night. Like a clock: 10, 1, 4, 7. She and I can both sleep while she feeds, but I still have to wake-up to bring her to my bed and to return her. My REMs have been suffering.

It might have something to do with the fact that on a whim, I fed her real food at 8pm. She slept through dinner and wasn't fussy, so there was no way to know that she was hungry. However, she ate and ENTIRE JAR of ham! She never eats that much! It was her first meat too!

I'm also feeling much better about my Christmas receiving concerns (though I'm still hoping to hear about your experiences and thoughts). My husband pointed out that I simply can't imagine a Christmas different from what I experienced as a child. He told me how cool it was that Santa left presents for him at his grandparents' house. HO HO HA!

So, I'll simply ask the grandparents to allow Santa to give one or two of the bigger gifts they have! AWESOME!

I BELIEVE!

And because I hate to leave you wishing for more tangents (oh, the wonder of my brain)... let me tell you that if you think you've ever seen someone's eyes sparkle... YOU HAVEN'T! Last night, it was time for bed, but Hazel was having a little "I WANT TO WATCH CALLIOU" meltdown. Super dad solved that problem-o by suggesting that they pretend to BE Calliou! He told Hazel that she would be Caillou, he would be Grandpa (because Caillou and Grandpa sleep in a tent in one episode) and Heidi Rose would be little sister, Rosie. OH MY GOODNESS! She ran around the house saying, "Hadel be Caillou, Dadda Granpa. Hadel be Caillou, Dadda Granpa". Sparkle sparkle sparkle. Hello imagination, so nice to play with you!