dyazStuffs

0sm0sis, Nyamuk W4LL

2026-08-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

So I finally sent 0sm0sis on 15th Aug 2026.

I want to talk about it. But not in the perspective of how this classic route changed my life or someshit but as just matter of factly, one of the life experience that I had in 2 parts.

Back in 2021, I projected the route as encouraged by my climbing groups at the time.

I was my old overthinking, sad, negative self, but was driven by the psyche of sending streak from 6c to 7b in a span of Nov 2020 to January 2021.

Yes some might say I'm not ready for 7c, I should've trained more or whatever tf opinions these so called senior climbers have. I was riding the group psyche, motivations was coming from so many directions. You cant deny the group/team spirit in sports does have its own way of making you excel as compared to training alone/on your own.

Then human sentiment happened, and the group that I thought was steady was only steady in good times, not in delicate, complex, emotional situation. Not blaming other people, they are just young people who wanna have fun while I'm always this intense older person wanting deeper connection for no reason.

So I took a step back, finding comfort from other people, finding myself even(?) trying to listen to whomever was interested enough to care about my internal struggle. (Also without actually knowing that person's actual intention).

Tried back after couple of months and nothing ever happened afterward. Had to learned another lesson in between. Then I got focused on indoor climb and eventually work and time flies as I left outdoor all the way from 2022 till 2024.

Then its 2025. It was my 10th year of climbing, I'm a better person mentally, though still overthinking, im no longer negative, sad or assumptive. Im generally a happier person.

One of the core believe that made me failed in my 2021 0sm0sis attempts was that I was being too emotional about it. Tie my whole self worth to it for some God knows reason.

So I thought Im ready to resume my project, send it, and move on to the next climbing adventures.

January began and I started finding outdoor partners. It happened a week or two and then life interferes. and I stopped. I started again in May but as I felt stronger than ever, only 2 weeks in, I got sick in June. Then in August I found Sol who specifically wants to project it. I was so convinced that I would send it within a month with my new found positive mental attitude.

But I kept falling at the crux.

I didnt send it in August, nor in September nor in October and then it was raining season, (damn my old self would've cracked) I started again in January 2026, February (Ramadhan) I even climbed while fasting, and fall before the anchor for the first time. Even then I wasnt sad or down. Not even crying. I cried on every failed attempt back in 2021. You dont know how proud I was with my 2026 self.

Kept doing it March April May June still falling at the crux and wondering whats wrong all those months. Fell before the anchor again too at some point. Kept getting feedback left and right. I can get the crux if I fall and rested, but couldnt get it from one go.

Then I went to Merapoh in July, forget about the project for a while. I realized that, in 2021, I dont just climb outdoor, I bouldered, I lead indoor, I ran - 2021 was my best run year of all time in my life still to this date. (Though 2026 still in its last quarter) and I did other workouts.

Maybe the explanation can be as simple as that, my engine is not as good as I was in 2021. Yes the mental aspect is through the roof, maybe its just as simple as general fitness.

So after I came back from Merapoh, I started to run zone 2. Just zone 2. I havent been running for close to a year, so I start slow. And then I started to add autobelay endurance session midweek.

As fate would have it, I send the route on 15th August, close to a year if I considered starting from August 2025 with Sol.

So there it was, in 2021, I was on a run, I have been projecting and sending gradually from easier routes to harder ones for 3 months, my fitness was there strength was there but my mind got distracted by what people say, by my own expectation, by the weight of desperately wanting the send.

In 2025/2026, i havent been projecting for 3 solid years, gone straight to a 7c. didnt boulder consistently, didnt run, and didnt do any endurance training in between projecting. I just literally projecting. Maybe it does work for routes lower than 7b. but for a 7c i dont think just persistence would cut it, well it could, but u have to persist for a year.

So i guess i learned my lesson, hard.

Maybe its not that deep. Its just both physical and mental have to come hand in hand.

Not saying that running and autobelaying is the key to sending my project but it does give me that last missing % .

So now that 0sm0sis is behind me, Im charging to my next adventure. But still I appreciate the whole experience. Those who belayed, who advices, whos there with me in the process. Those part I especially cherish. Theres always something deep in all our life experience if we care enough to find its meaning.

2026-07-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

An ending is not always necessarily the end.

2026

2026-06-11T19:09:42.571+08:00

This is random but being a millenial, Im suprised that I just figured out Radiohead in my late late late 30s hahaha. Well of course I knew them for a while, its just their song that I heard before never sticks. Same goes with Arctic Monkeys, my ex have been asking me to listen to their album back in uni circa 2006/7 but I only got stuck with 505 in 2024(?).

Back to Radiohead the first song that sticks to me is Jigsaw Falling into Place in 2024 and now I'm obsessed with Let Down.

Where have I been living? in 1997, I was literally living under a rock. (Batu Kurau-rock-get it? lol) Thanks to my dad and his government job.

Or maybe that song just found me in my ever depressive state. As usual. heh

2025 Recap!

2025-12-29T18:00:00.007+08:00

Idk why I still wanna post but idc ill post till blogspot become obsolete heh. So let me sum up this whole 2025 in one post?

1. That Kaohsiung- Alishan-Taipei trip. Climbing in Long Dong (or was it Dec 24? idc still counts) Also by transit - Macao.

2. Got interviewed by Siakap Keli abut my 10 years climbing experience. Wait thats Dec 24 as well haha. Its up on YouTube.

3. Got lead certified in Singapore! Thanks to Derrick. Its not easy to be lead certified in SG u know haha.

4. Brought my parents to SG they never been, while im attending the company's 30th anniversary.

5. First time trying Okeanos in Takun, before it closed again.

6. Got Top 3 in BoTB Eco City in Feb. Behind national athletes Renee and Tia who are 10 years+ younger haha proud of myself lol.

7. Start taking care of my nutrition, started training lower body(my weak link) to prepare for Ozone Games and Crank Lead.

8. Also its my 10th year climbing and I plan to restart my Osmosis. but having trouble with timing (work schedule) and finding a project partner.

9. Gotten sick in June due to LEA (Low Energy Availability) learning more and more about myself and nutrition.

10. Finally sold my long serving Kancil to a Perodua staff who wanted to fix it and give it to his daughter. Glad it could still serve other girl even after almost 30 years of its existence.

11. Went to US for the first time!! To celebrate Enercon US 50th anniversary. Peoria to be exact and by transit I also visited Japan for the first time (climbing in BPump Akihabara woohoo!!) and London (haha just in the airport tho). Twas awesome for sure despite the loooooooong flights.

12. Met my Osmosis project partner Sol from Korea and he brought me to my 4th ever multipitch in La Kura Kura, omg so tiring but awesome. He also made me able to project Osmosis consistently for 1 month plus before he went back to home for Chuseok holidays.

13. Burnt my MUSE CAT 1A ticket concert in Jakarta because im too focused on projecting. Lesson learned.

14. Also have to burn my Crank training also due to projecting. In my defense its really not easy to find a specific climb partner who wanted to project the same thing, so I honestly throw everything else away at this period.

15. Went to Kuching again (for work)

16. Knew an American and Turmenistan couple in Nyamuk, Joshua and Tamara and ended up being their witness for their marriage registration hahaha new experience. Also my name will forever be in someones marriage certificate lol.

17. After Sol went back to Korea i redirect my focus to Ozone Games and freaking won first place in Rookie Category!!!! After 3 years of participating.

18. Turned 39!

19. Treat myself a thorough bloodtest and excited to start 2026 with more clarity about myself inside and outside.

20. Still projecting Osmosis and will send it soon. hee.

Its ChatGPT Era!

2025-07-01T23:30:00.000+08:00

OMG I only have not been posting for a year but it feels like a different era already. By the way, Chat GPT is like the single most important innovation to date for a person like me hahaha. I know some would say dont fully trust AI, but hey, for a person who always questioning things and never got the answer, ChatGPT is a Godsend. It resolve all the question I had about myself my health my brain my personalities my challenges, and it can also help an eldest daughter how to navigate life in every aspect hahaha. If only this exist during my teenage years where I had SOOOOOOOOOO many uncertainties about life. But then again, im happy its not cos idk if it would help my brain if id ChatGPTed all my assignments and lab reports hahaha. that would be bad.

2024 so far..

2024-04-19T13:46:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulillah all is good, not super great not super bad, just good.

Though I do feel a little bit frustrated I got my period on the last 10 nights of Ramadhan (managed to at least pray full taraweeh on night of 21st but then have to endure 2 days of painful stomach cramp. But sickness washes away our sins hopefully.

Pray to God I can reach next year Ramadhan.

This year is also the year where my career is doing good and my boss have high hopes for me, feels weird people have expectation on you but I actually AM at that age where people starts looking up to you and expects u to lead the way and deliver.

Funny how life is, you've been wondering what to do for years since you're graduating, hoping somebody can give you advice on what to do, what path to take in life, and when there's nobody to guide you, you just wing it and see what's work, and one day u just cant wait for advice anymore cos you're freakin 37, But you still have so many unresolved questions!

So again, I'm torn between having to work well at my job and maintaining my climbing life. I know a huge chunk of the earth population will say why would you still want to climb(play) at this age? Focus on your work.

But climbing makes me happy, it is my identity, what I'm good at and the most important thing, it keeps me healthy going forward later in life.

And Im not letting go of my work this time as it is the perfect job i have been looking for a long time.

Now its just the matter of ME managing my time and attention.

I can do this.

I've been living my life without having any guidance/people to seek advice for the rest of my life, so what difference it makes now? I'll just press on as I always do. InsyaAllah.

2024!

2024-01-02T00:25:00.007+08:00

Welcoming another year.

I mostly felt overwhelmed, good kind of overwhelmed. What's with work and climbing and Aran's wedding, thus having to find another house again.

All are things I'm happy with/I love, but they still overwhelmed me.

But mainly I'm trying to actively improve my health, cos I really want to do my best at my job and of course maintain my climbing life.

I still have all these racing thoughts in my head. Event though I'm no longer sad, (serotonin levels getting better) but I truly have no patience to write anymore, BUT still I wanna write at least something in this blog. not letting it die anytime soon. I mean no more word vomit.

Being self aware and being in Tik Tok era, (information overload), few words that keeps popping up in my feed is 'adhd' and 'high cortisol level', been researching about it and keeps seeing , Magnesium deficiency, L-Theanine/Tyrosine, Probiotic, Ayurveda herbs etc.

So lets see if we can try to work on that this year, and see if could improve my focus cognitive function as well.

HNY!

37!

2023-12-14T00:30:00.036+08:00

OK to be honest, this is the year that I'm finally admitting that I'm growing old. No more denying.

Firstly because this year 100% ppl will call me kak already, and the lowest age I can tell people without they second guessing is 29.

I mean my Enercon US boss did thought I was 26 (when I said 36) but then again he's American.

And Opah Anjang did ask if I'm still in school(uni) but she's almost 90 and in poor health. (God bless her.)

So both doesn't count.

And then there's the grey hair.

The amount of grey hair I see this year is alarming. Chaoi literally have to sit for 20mins to pluck those obvious ones protruding on the top of my head. Not accounting those at the side of my forhead.

And then there's climbing, While strength wise I thought getting better, fitness wise, I can silently admit I'm getting breathless when I do endurance.

I used to refused to admit that I cant climb better bcos I'm old cos obviously I climb better than most ppl in their 20s.

Also I cant say that cos I literally started climbing at 29. Actively training at 33.

Unless I have been climbing since Im 16, I'm not gonna say I'm too old for this shit.

BUT,

this year, I think I can say that, (though I still will not) because I have been climbing hard for 4-5 years now. There is some if not a lot of differences I can feel in my fitness level.

But I'm still hopeful. and I wanna see how far I can go still.

If those Korean aunties can still climb 7c at 40-50yrs why cant I?

So HB to me!

MUSE Will of The People World Tour 2023!!!!

2023-09-26T23:48:00.009+08:00

My first Obstacle Course Race - O-Zone Games 2023

2023-09-06T00:28:00.001+08:00

just put the title in here first story later.

Vietnam Trip 2023 - Photo Dump

2023-05-19T00:27:00.007+08:00

Was feeling down, monthly dopamine dip biasalahkan, 😒

When I read my last post rasa grateful pulak, tula manusia senang sangat lupa benda2 best, benda2 xbest je yg nk difocuskan. Anywho, dumping my recent Vietnam trip photos here as part of my gratitude towards life. Random gila trip last minute. But Alhamdulillah.

Also, who knows Chaoi is actually a great photographer!😍

Birthday again

2022-12-15T01:52:00.000+08:00

.36.🎉

Alhamdulillah.

Had my usual birthday pesto dinner with Chaoi.

Feeling-wise, not sad, not super stoked either.

But grateful.

Alhamdulillah.

August

2022-08-31T01:41:00.039+08:00

I started working again on the 9th.

I know didn't plan to actually. But when I got a call asking if I'm interested to interview for a similar job I had before, but working remotely, I'm intrigued. So I went for the interview and got the job.

The initial plan is never to work 9-5 again, buy a car, get Grab license, see how it goes first whether the income can cover my commitment. If its okay, I don't have to go for the new job, but if its not okay, I'll take the job. But somehow I'm not lucky enough to have a smooth process, so I settled the Grab thing late. Only get the greenlight to drive the same day my new job supposed to start. Sigh.

So I carry on with the new job and see how it goes first. I could use the money, I have not been working since April.

Climbing wise, I sent the marble green 6C+ on the 14th. I'm so happy. So this complete my so called checklist to do Osmosis again, but I still don't feel like it yet.

There's something about my roof/overhang climb that I felt not quite it yet.

It felt like I'm just memorizing the moves and go as fast as I can and hoping I'm lucky enough not to slip or fell.

It just doesn't feel deliberate.

So no, not feeling Osmosis yet.

Maybe I will focus on the lead comp first, then think about projecting outdoors again.

And while I was excited about lead come, BotB Utro starts on 21st Aug, and it will last 6 weeks, ends just right before the lead comp.

Urghhhhhhhhh, why does everything needs to overlap, I was always excited about BoTB since I first joined one in 2020, and then RttB Eco - which was not an actual BotB, and then the actual BotB Eco, where I sprained my ankle in week 4 while I was having a good run.

And now that they do another BotB in Utro pulak which is convenient to me, but it is right before the lead comp, which I was also looking forward to.

Problem is, I normally boulder once a week as part of my routine, but BotB is a projecting comp, and everyone will go as often as they can. Based on previous BotB, I might need up to 3 days to project.

If there's no lead comp, I will just boulder the whole week, but I need to do endurance for the lead comp too.

I felt so overwhelmed whats with new job, Grab, Botb and the lead comp.

HEADACHE.

July

2022-07-30T13:47:00.014+08:00

Camp5 has announced that there will be a lead comp this October. Excited to hear it, but to be honest I have been anticipating this comp since the lockdown. All my training has been done with the anticipation of some big comp in 2022 and this might be it. Except its not a National Selection or anything, but it is going to be used to rank climbers all over Malaysia.

So might need to plan some training for this. Will see how things goes first.

No progress climbing wise, but I kept doing the same weekly routine, but I did got my 5km PB on the 17th.

I used to have a plan, if I send the blue 6C and the green marble 6C+ AND I got my 5km run PB, then I will start projecting Osmosis again.

But that was just a plan.

June

2022-06-30T14:47:00.000+08:00

After I learned about DOMS, in June I decided to just do weight training once a week on Saturdays so It wont effect my weekday climbs. Now I felt better again, climbed better, my lifts just reached 80kg, my squats 60kg. And my weight increase from 53 to 56kg but I do feel lighter and stronger esp on dynamic moves and more confident in heel hooking. But still I see no difference in my climbing grade. I guess its true these weight trainings are not climbing specific training, but its just for your general health and strength. But I will maintain doing it once a week. Same as yoga for once a week.

Climbing wise, I finally send the Blue overhanging route graded 6C on the 17th. Have been projecting it since before pandemic. At least now I can say my strength DO improve. I thought I'm already at my best shape (climbing wise) before pandemic. But I did not managed to go past the crux on that blue route even after attempting many times. So if I can send it now, I must have improved. I don't know what, but something must have. I'd like to believ that anyway. Celebrate small wins right?

May

2022-05-01T15:38:00.002+08:00

I finally started weiight training with a trainer this May. Focusing on deadlifts and squats as suggested by Hooper's Beta. Folowed the reps and sets from there while having the trainer teach me the correct form. I started 2 times a week Tuesdays and Saturdays on top of climbing 5 times a weeks. (Rest on Thursday and Sundays.) Without realizing the aftermath of deadlift. I felt like I’ve been hit by a bus on the next day(Wednesday) 😅 that’s supposed to be my lead endurance day.

So I climbed really poorly on Wednesdays and some Wed I can’t even start a route and just belayed others the entire day.

Then I got frustrated for my very low quality climbing sessions, cried 😅, contemplating about the deadlifts again for the whole month and then my friends told me about DOMS.

So trying to adjust the frequency and the timing again. We'll se how it goes.

April

2022-04-01T15:39:00.001+08:00

Quit my job again.

To focus on climbing.

Starts doing yoga, for flexibility, mobility, balance, body awareness and what not. Still trying few classes, dont know how many session I have to do per week and what kinda yoga suits me best, There's Hatha, Vinyasa, Bosu etc.

It's also just for my general fitness.

But its puasa month, don't know if I can stick to all those morning yoga sessions.

Lets see how this goes this time.

Sama-Sama Orang Kampung

2022-01-15T12:35:00.004+08:00

I totally TOTALLY believe this was just a case of hormonal haywire.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, Wnjek onsighted this route on Day 7, Berg almost onsighted it but fell on last quickdraw, Acaan tried it with rests but convinced that he can send it the next day.

So Day 8 me and Pian plan to join Acaan projecting it within that half a day, before we move on to Bukit Jernih crag in the afternoon.

So Pian flashed it, and then and Acaan sent it like he said he would. So I have some confidence that I can send the route at that same morning, within that same hour. And for some reason I have this huge out-of-no-where made-up responsibility to sent the route at the time. Like the last cherry on top of the cake to bring home after sending my main projects.

But the route was effing long, compared to Keretapi and Zamboney which were just 18m, this route was probably double that height. It anchors were almost the same line as Mata Timur.

The hard moves were just the first 4 quickdraws, monos and weirdly positioned pockets back to back. Acaan said once I figured that first 4, the rest are just endurance fest, only the anchor is tricky because you need to do a bit of a dynamic moves before getting to the anchor and reminded me when Berg lost his onsight because of that. He told me to utilize all the rest points that the route has.

So, I passed the first 4 qds, and just working my way up. After about half way, after 18m I realized that I haven't been climbing long routes in awhile, and I'm getting nervous. I'm getting nervous if I'm not able to send this routes like all the boys did.

So I took an effing long time at the rest points to make sure I have enough gas to do the anchor moves.

The noon sun was starting to show and Acaan was starting to get hot down there since I took my time to rest. But I really wanted to send the route.

And then I reached the last quickdraw, my mental was 100% scared at this time, not scared of falling but scared of failing. I REALLY WANTED THIS SEND. I REALLY WANTED THIS FREAKING CHERRY.

Whoever was on Mata section at the time, Pian, Kev who were about to repel down to the ground. And also Thong Pak and Alex, was shouting allez! and Pian was trying his best to give his beta(while descending to the ground). But I'm too afraid to fail the move that I'm scared to even attempt it.

Many time I regress back to the resting point to calm my thought and slowed down my breath but my wanting too much really affected me to attempt and when I finally tried, I failed to catch the jug.

Aaaaand like I said, I cried like I did when my kitten died.

Totally can't control it.

Hence I do believe it wasnt me, its the fucking hormones that betrayed me like it always does.

Anyway, I tried it couple of time, and I though atleast I topped it since I cant send it today, it was already noon.

And I topped it.

But I realize, my current fitness level/endurance level is really not enough send that route in just 2 attempts. And my mental expectation was making it worse.

If we were to stay, and I were to try it again after lunch, yes I would send it.

But not in the span of an hour.

Well not yet atleast.

So thats the drama .

But I learned my lesson where I can, and the hormone parts, there's nothing I can do about my emotional outburst.

Lets hope it will be milder next time.

But this time I appreciate Acaan's effort belaying me in the hot sun.

And I cried like a crazy person.

K3ret4pi 7a+, Bukit K3t3ri

2022-01-08T13:27:00.036+08:00

Some routes have the crux that you know the beta, but you know you can't do it because you're not strong enough or don't have enough endurance for it.

But Keretapi, I really don't know how to do the crux, its not about endurance, definitely not about power, but I do question my finger strength, but in the end its not even that, its just figuring out how to hold the holds the most efficient way, balancing, and trusting your foot.

But the most important part I think for me, is who's down there supporting me.

I've starting to realize that, I don't do well if there's a lot of people down there, watching me and throwing all sorts of beta at me. When I thrive, is when there's ONE person, focusing on me, helping me figure out the beta, figuring out what I might've done wrong, pushing me when I'm on the edge of giving up and praising me when I succeed.

Since I don't have a specific climbing partner, its hard for me to ask someone to spend a chunk of their time on me working on a project. Especially the one I have problem on, cos they might have their projects too.

But at the time, Berg was there and he's trying his best to help me.

He was suggesting this and that, whatever he can think of he will shout it out, trying to lay out all the possibilities that I can try.

Of course not all can be applied up there, but his suggestions made my mind work actively and made me able to see things that I missed before.

And all of the sudden, I thought of holding a hold in a different way, breathe, and carefully execute all the sequence.

And I finally figure out the crux.

And then when I wanted to come down, he asked me to stay and try the crux move again, and again. After my moves were solid, he asked me to brush all the holds that matters before lowering down.

I rested for a while, try again, and I send it.

I remembered when he helped me specifically on my first project, Nov 61, when I was clueless on what projecting was, and on Chess, when I unnecessarily put too much pressure on myself. And I remember countless of time he helped others as well. He just have that supportive vibe from him, rock climbing wise. Maybe cos he's been climbing for 10 years, and he knows what it takes, what it made you, how it challenges you.

So that's my story on Keretapi, though I would love myself to be independent, I do believe that people need support, specific support, at times, to move forward.

Really appreciate all the dedicated belayers who spend their time and put an effort to help fellow climbers overcome their struggles.

But for this particular post, Thank you Berg!

Post-Keteri fever

2022-01-03T11:59:00.013+08:00

Arggh so many nice things to talk about my Keteri trip, met my goal but malas nak transfer gambar ke laptop lagi😅

I'm in my resting mode still after I had my ganglion cyst remove right after Keteri, but I don't feel grumpy I didn't get to climb for 2weeks till my stitch got better, I just felt okay. So in short, it was a great trip.

I aim to send Keretapi,7a+ and Zamboney, 7b+. I sent both.

I also sent Jepun, 7a, and almost send Sama-Sama Orang Kampung, 7a, on the last day.

I wanna talk about Keretapi and Sama-Sama Orang Kampung actually. So that will be a separate post each. haha

Day 1 Saturday, 18 Dec

No climb for me.

When we reached on Saturday, some of them went straight to climb but I did not have energy to climb since I didn't manage to get any sleep the night before, trying to be a good co-driver, even when they stopped at RNR I didn't managed to shut my eye.

Day 2 Sunday, 19 Dec

Tried Keretapi for the first time.

I straight away jumped to Keretapi on Sunday, with everyone, straight away couldn't do the crux move. Watching Pian and Acan do to figure out the beta.

Day 3 Monday, 20 Dec

Sent Jepun.

Since he's done with Keretapi and Zamboney, Pian wanted to go to Mata section, Kev's project Mata Timur,8b+ is also up there, everyone else wanted to go, so I went along. Najjar was projecting Jepun, so me and Diddy joined in. Moves were bouldery and 2 dynamic moves on the first 2 quickdraws, but very doable. First attempt my hand was sweating profusely, but after lunch, I send it after I get over the dyno parts. Berg says it should be downgraded to 6C right after I send it (darn it) but for me, if you have to place a quickdraws with you, and considering the dynos and the long run up to the anchor it is a (somewhat) soft 7a.

Day 4 Tuesday, 21 Dec

Back on Keretapi, still no luck.

I continue Keretapi again Tuesday, getting restless at this point cos Pian sent it days ago, and Acaan sent it today. And I still couldn't figure out the crux move. Can't do Pian's beta, can't do Acaan's beta, and after I saw Apiz try the crux part, I got a little idea, so I tried again a few times, and I managed to do the crux part, but still quite shaky and the moves are not solid and not really controlled.

So I'm getting stressed. So when Apiz planned to go jalan-jalan the next day I'm somewhat reluctant cos I came here with goals and I've been here almost half the time and I haven't get one of my goals yet.

Before I came, I thought I'm gonna be spending just one or two days on Keretapi and the rest I'll be spending on projecting Zamboney. But now its day 4 and I haven't send Keretapi.

Day 5 Wednesday, 22 Dec

Sent Keretapi.

On Wednesday, everyone else went to Mata, except Berg and JC and Diyan, cos JC and Diyan's projects were down here, after I set up draws on Diyan's project route, Siti, and helped her project it, Berg helped me with Keretapi. I managed to figure out the crux move, rest for about 45 minutes, and on the next attempt I sent Keretapi. Will write more on this on separate post.

Later that same evening, I tried Zamboney for the first time and call it a day.

Day 6 Thursday, 23 Dec

Sent Zamboney.

I was somewhat positive from sending Keretapi yesterday and was in a good mood to start projecting Zamboney.

Many people were there at the time, Wanjek just arrived, Najjar came back to settle Zamboney, cos he fell going to the anchor on Day 4 or something and had to go back to KL. Acan was also projecting Zamboney since the day before. I had to work in the morning so I spend most of the morning at nearby restaurant working, and I missed Najjar and Acaan send the route.

After lunch and after my job was done, I work on Zamboney again, workout all the hard parts, and after I felt okay, I rest, and then I try it again and I sent it.

Really glad.

I worked on Keretapi, a 7a+ route for 3 days with countless attempts but send a 7b+ route in a day with 3 attempts, grades ARE subjectives but of course, it depends on the risk on the routes and the climber's style. Zamboney have a couple of monos, continuous hard-but-doable moves the entire route.

Keretapi only have that one freakin hard crux.

So I felt relieved that I send my goal routes on Day 6.

Day 7 Friday, 24 Dec

Leisure climbs.

The next day I just leisurely follow everyone, Mekwan came from Kedah that day so I accompany her to climb what she wants, I sent Lorenz, a 6A+ route, follow them to Robot Wall, had caving experience along the way, belay others again and after we came down from Robot Wall, had a chance to try Belly Button Window for the first 6 quickdraws and got an awesome sunset shot there.

Day 8 Saturday, 25 Dec

Attempted Sama-sama Orang Kampung.

They plan to go to Bukit Jernih in the afternoon, but in the morning Pian Acan and me plan to project Sama-sama Orang Kampung since Wanjek onsighted it the day before. So I felt that its doable to be sent in half a day.

So Pian flashed it, and Acaan sent it, so for some reason I have this huge out-of-no-where made-up responsibility to sent the route at the time. The route was effing long, the hard moves were just the first 4 quickdraws, monos and crimps again, long story short, I did not send it, I fell going to the anchor. And I cried like a crazy person. That will be a different blog post. heh.

So after lunch we went to Bukit Jernih and the boys tried King of North, a newly bolted 8a route so I just watch the show.

Day 9 Sunday, 26 Dec

Bye Keteri.

They head back to KL, I continue to mend my wounded heart in Langkawi with Chaoi. hahaha

Overall its a great rock trip for me including the crying part. hahaha

Pics will upload later

Bye 2021

2021-12-31T12:39:00.002+08:00

Ended 2021 with a great December and ganglion cyst removal surgery.

Tbh 2021 felt like just January and December, the middle was all blurry and full of nothingness.

But I'm still grateful that I still have my health, have a job and still climbing, despite couple of injuries, and bad experience with people, I did learn some new things.

Hope everyone else is doing/getting better wherever they are.

2022, lets do this.

when overthinking kicks in

2021-10-17T23:38:00.001+08:00

I've been wanting the mco to be over for months, but when its finally over, I felt lost. In terms of climbing, I don't know my direction, I don't know what to train, when to train, what's my goal.

I know my first goal is to send Osmosis first before I start with my lead climbing training again.

But what's with the one hour distance to Batu Caves, my 25 year old Kancil, the weather = the wet crux, but being able to do the crux even when its wet doesn't mean anything if I still can't link it from the bottom.

My emotion is better though this time around, I'm more patient and positive, as opposed to throwing tantrum and cry everytime I fall pre-mco attempts. I understood that everyone stuck there for a while, Priscilla, Shinyee, Pian, they all spend a while stuck at the crux moves. So I just have to be patient.

And then seeing everyone bouldering in Utro, I haven't been to any Camp5 gyms yet post vaccination even though I'm paying the whole mco. I'm not that enthused to boulder yet since my current goal is Osmosis, but can't help to feel a little left behind in boulder. Can't go to One U either cos weekend is spent for osmosis and weekdays is just too ridiculous to go to One U after office hours.

Really made me rethink my 9-5 job again, but then this job give me money and from the past 1 year experience of not working the whole 2020, even though I had all the time to climb, I dont have partner to climb cos everyone else is working 9-5! and apparently none of the climbing gyms open in the morning!

Raya Eve 2021

2021-05-13T00:03:00.003+08:00

Am I dead inside if people are busy thinking about raya and the fact that we can’t go visiting our families but all I can think about is how am I gonna train when all the gyms are closed and how do I train at home and the fact that Osmosis is in my head 24/7 for the past.. I don’t know.. week?

Love? Passion? Obsession?

2021-02-11T09:21:00.001+08:00

I never thought I could love something this much.

I thought about it when I wake up, I thought about it when I eat, when Im in the shower, when Im driving, It’s always in my prayers to God 5times a day, and It was my last thought before I fell asleep at night.

Its surreal how deep I am into this.

Into climbing.

Dealing with life changes

2021-01-31T19:16:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow will be the first day I’ll started working again and I feel a little nervous. I haven’t been working 9-5 for a little over a year now. I’m already comfortable being a tutor all this time and my sole focus is on my climbing.

I’m going to start a whole new journey in a few hours but my mind still havent transition to job mode yet. I’m still studying the move for Osmosis since yesterday. Im still in climbing mode.

I havent been able to shut or pause the climbing mode, hell, I dont know how to juggle between all these modes.

I thought I could get excited for this job by going shopping for some office wear today but apparently no clothing store is open during mco.

And Im uncertain of my jobscope since its a new position for me and also with this whole mco thing, even more uncertainties.

I guess Im just gonna have to go with the flow and see what this new path brings me. And then arrange my new climbing and training schedule around it.

May God ease my way on this new journey. Amin.