heart to heart with Gaurav...

Selfless Love !

2010-12-23T22:56:00.000+00:00

Crawford Place, Newbury 23 Dec 2010 10:02 PM Thursday

It's been a while now since I posted something, or rather i would say I contemplated something. More than the commitments around my professional and personal life, it was something else that stopped me, some unknown inhibitions which further got persuaded by the extraordinary busy schedule here in the British summers.

And here comes the festive time and you see some incredibly beautiful adornments all around the town, cheerful people flocking around the high street spending a shedload of money, some doing this for the Christmas presents and the others just to grab some fantastic deals ! This actually takes me to our Diwali celebrations when we have a very similar environment with absolutely terrific atmosphere all around with some everlasting moments ! Eternal moments !!!

And just as i wrote it, i wonder what else could actually be ETERNAL ! Can relationships be eternal? Can you actually maintain the same zeal and love for someone during the ups and downs throughout your whole life? And if yes, how would you do that? What could possibly be the key to a successful relationship? Now, this is a hell of a question that has suddenly popped up in my mind out of nowhere and i sincerely am struggling to get an answer for this ! But let me try...

When we talk about eternal, the very first thing that comes to my mind is the mother's love ! And what's not so secret about this perpetual relation is the selfless love of any mother for her child. So often, we take her for granted and do whatever we wish to and she just submissively smiles. And no wonder, we love to repeat this over and over again. You can well conclude this by comparing how many times you express your love and gratitude to your mother to how much you express it to your partner ! She doesn't want any assurance, any commitments or obligation from you. All she wants is the right to love you, to just love you all the time !!! Yeah, and that indeed is purely SELFLESS !!!

So, what's so difficult to actually implement this selfless behaviour in other relations - such as between close friends, spouses, siblings and all others ! And the reason i believe is that most people already have their own predefined set of expectations from any relation. And the moment they overburden this mutual bond with their individual expectations, the relation is doomed ! It's never easy to understand other's expectations, that's why it takes years to develop a solid relation when you observe your mutual bond grappling with deep intricacies of life's abnormal events. But what's really critical in those crucial years is to always keep focused on amplifying the amount of positive synergy, mutual trust and selfless love that the relation generates !

And believe me, practising this is TOUGH. Really really tough. Putting behind your ego in any relationship seems to be the most difficult situation for most of us today. Everyone in their own frame of mind thinks they are right and wishes to be acknowledged correctly by the others, which indeed is right, but what often gets overlooked is that any successful relation doesn't necessarily mean always two correct people, but it definitely means two contented individuals ! And that's where you need to think beyond SELF for the sake of that relationship to handle some of its most delicate moments. To make the others feel happy even if they've been insensitive, to make them feel proud even if they've been failed, to make them feel special even if they've broken your heart, to trust them even if the situations might disagree, and to self apologise even if they've been wrong ! All done just to obviate any further damage at any particular vulnerable moment ! And the relation survives !!!

Like most of us, I also have had the opportunities of witnessing different people managing the different stages of their relationships. The best thing that i've learned from them is that whatever situation you are in, YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE A NEW START ! and seriously it's never ever too late !!! Never ever hesitate. If you are expecting the others to make the first move, remember, they are also thinking the same ! And the delay would only worsen the things.

In the end, I guess apart from the deep love, care and mutual trust, it's all about handling effectively the key moments in any relationship. By defining your subconscious reaction through a sensible attitude, controlled aggression driven by a tolerant mind and a trustworthy, loving heart.

I read the following lines somewhere today which inspired me to write this post...

“If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next… Don’t. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness. Don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present - each moment as it comes - because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart, where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again…” - - Julia Brown, Everwood

Ta
Gaurav Gupta

Can we speak our mind safely?

2010-06-15T00:58:00.000+01:00

Crawford Place, Newbury 15 June 2010 12:50 AM Tuesday

Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them !

This is such a common problem. And it just so often happens with me as well. Even a witty carefree attitude doesn't help to impress and appease the people you just have had hurt. And that's when true friends like Sally need to come out and explain to you the way to handle some of the most delicate and intricate situations in your life. Situations which can easily break apart rock-solid relationships, eternal bonds and impregnable trust, which took ages to build up. And it all happens because of one small mistake - you spoke your mind and you were pretty adamant about your thoughts and your views. Plus you just didn't anticipate the repercussions of your fit of pique, you just din't perceive it to be so destructive to shake your whole social world. Until someone comes in at the very right time and arbitrate !

Most of the times, I fail to control myself under these sort of situations. I love to speak my mind as freely and as frankly as i possibly can. I believe in self defined principles based on my experience with life and on experiences of tens of people who have impacted my life in one way or another. Quite a few years back, I read somewhere to listen to your own instincts and to follow your heartstrings, always and ever ! If you truly believe in yourself and your principles, you've always got to back them up. No matter what situation you are in, or what audience you are in ! Today, your audience may not believe in you, but don't lose hope. Today, few of your friends may not support you, but don't ever lose courage. Well defined principles and right focus will always have to win one day ! They always have had !!! And I presume that's the prime reason why i struggle to use my mind when my inner beliefs don't allow me to accept any objectionable conformance. Irving Wallace has rightly said:

To be one's self, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity.

I agree there may be many questions raised on the way how you express your opinions about something. No one wants to fight straightway, and it all starts with a light banter, which eventually establishes into a heated argument and finally into a war of unpleasant and annoying words because each is equally obsessive about their own principles or arguments! What's so important here to understand is that people fail to realize that "what goes around, always comes around" ! If you support fallacious arguments today, you are bound to be entrapped one day in the very same arguments. And probably you won't feel too great about it then !

So, i wonder why diplomacy is just so popular these days ! Why people have to be so submissive and so sycophantic to just be inline with the majority or the powerful, even if that means to compromise hard with their only truly earned asset of their lives - Self Respect !!! Why can't they just be true to themselves. Why can't they figure out the courage to speak their mind in front of everyone so as to establish the reign of morality and kill the seeds of dishonest authority. Why do they not understand that the person they are trying to flatter unscrupulously today will eventually be kicking their as* sooner or later some day ! Why can't one just be one's own SELF !

Gaurav Gupta

Solitude vs Companionship !

2010-05-25T23:44:00.006+01:00

Crawford Place Newbury, United Kingdom 25 May 2010 11:36 PM Tuesday

So, back to UK. And back to the comfort zone after a month outside in a world of seclusion. A month full of supreme challenges, much anticipated solitude and some remarkable learning experience, all of which i savored quite a lot !

Sometimes, living alone can teach you a lot because you get the opportunity to know the best of yourself - in and out ! You have all the time in the world to think and assess the circumstances around yourself. You get to know those aspects about yourself which we fail to perceive otherwise in this busy social world! Aspects about your personality, your demeanor, your insight, and your repute. And may be even more !!! You not only get that opportunity to monitor those, but also to appropriately fix those.

You think about your family, friends, office mates and your prevailing relations with them. You think about the present situations, compare them with your past, and fancy the best possible dreams for your future. You also think about the direction of your life against your priorities and ambitions. But the best thing that i love about being alone is - you are just yourself ! Free from the directives of the outside world, you live on the self defined rules and principles. You do what you want to do in the way you want to do !!! What you've been longing for years to do. No more fake lifestyle, nasty pretenses and nebulous arguments living with others ! You just live your life the way you've always wished to. Though doesn't necessarily means that you'll become happy or content, but atleast you lose the right to blame others for the disruptions in your life, and in your life style !

But solitude can make you lose even more...

You lose the platform to redesign your personality and temperament with the great learning experiences living together with others. To learn to compromise, share, and NOT to share ! You miss out in making enduring companionship with someone who can eventually impact the rest of your life by redefining your priorities, sentiments and ambitions, who can well be your only best friend. You also miss all the fun and excitement of warmhearted banter and friendly quips when you are having your meals in your secluded room. Those incessantly engrossing heart-to-heart with them which make you realize that there are people who are with you no matter what happens, or when it happens...there are people who love your lifestyle, no matter how repelling or monotonous it may look like, there are people who wish to counsel you whenever you are down, ... and there are people who want to see you - just being yourself !!!

We go through each of these two phases, but not everyone gets the best of them... We might be alone for some time, yet unable to improvise. We might be living with the best of our mates, yet unable to unify. But now that i am back to my social web, i wish to relive the best moments of the camaraderie of my alien life !

Gaurav Gupta

Dare to dream different !

2010-05-15T00:32:00.005+01:00

Place de la Renaissance Bois Colombes, Paris 15 May 2010 01:06 AM Saturday

It happens. And that too automatically. Quite a lot of times, you get that drive running with your adrenaline rush when you are stuck deep in an ineluctable shit. A stimulation to prove that you can get over it surely if not shortly, and that it is not the end of the world ! Somehow or other, you get to see that feeble light of hope at the end of the tunnel. You just need to wait, watch and then act. Smartly, cautiously and confidently !!!

Yeah, this nostalgic wave struck me today this evening while i was having some informal and cosy chat with one of my mates in his apartment. We both went too far in our discussions realising a few bitter aspects of our lives which we both had wished to govern, but just couldn't decently control in time. And we concluded the following:

A teacher teaches the lesson first and then takes the exam. Life takes the exam first and then teaches a lesson.... So, always keep learning !

Thinking about these troubles remind me of my early fresher college days, ten years back. Our college had been pretty consistent and active in all the possible ragging activities. Back then, going back to the hostel rooms from the college in the evenings wasn't an easy task for us. It used to be the longest and most dreadful walk in front of the "Laxmi Bhawan" (abode of all those reckless seniors) when we always preferred to stay in the bunch, each trying to hide behind the other, everyone consciously trying to dodge those big and brutish eagle-eyes eagerly waiting to feed their latest puckish desires to wreak havoc on us. But not all of us were getting used to this, and neither all of us were going to accept this.

A few dared to break this bunch and walked in to their eyes dauntlessly. They did what they were asked to do but with pride and joy, enjoying their orders and dictates rather than swearing them, leaving all their fear and anger behind. This is what i like about those people who dare not only to dream differently, but also to Act differently. Nobody could have changed the situation. But they did manage to change their environment.

An environment free from any fear, disgust and contempt. While rest of the guys chose to avoid or avert the inevitable, they decided to chase it themselves. And they were rewarded. They got the biggest contacts within the alumnus, got extraordinary exposure to the college's political and administrative environment in the very beginning, had their first hands over the most crucial and confidential leaks, and not to mention getting a permanent godfather for sponsoring their suttas, daru, parties and even boastful power. And most importantly, they had that coveted confidence and authority in abundance. And few leaders were straightway born !!!

Such is the power of responding proactively to the situations and opportunities around your life ! But such is amount of positive attitude, vitality and audacity in turn that you would require !!! Ha !!! Past, Memories, lessons, so much to think of !

Coming back to present, coming back to our evening discussions, and coming back to him, I shall only say the following:

The moment has come, of killing the past and coming back to life...

Ta

Gaurav Gupta

Appraisal Time

2010-05-04T21:56:00.002+01:00

Place de la Renaissance Bois Colombes, Paris 04 May 2010 09:20 PM Tuesday

It's performance appraisal time. It's the time when we apprehensively wait for a communication from our managers, who we normally desire to ignore rest of the whole year. But now, we all wait for that special moment to see that special e-mail in our inbox for which we toil all year long. All kinds of rumours and gossips spread like wild fire but burn out quickly. Lunch, tea and snack breaks are used to their utmost potential by chatting incessantly about all sorts of things - promotions, salary hikes, ratings, politics, managers, work culture, etc. Some querulous individuals don't miss out this opportunity to start whining over their luck :

" Yaar meri to kismat hi kharab hai, is baar to promotion pakki thi, aur saala isi baar recession aa gaya ! "

" Nai yaar, meri to recommendation 6 maheene pehle hi chali gai thi (as if he himself forwarded his recommendation), but last moment mein project change ki wajah se kat gaya mera ! "

Some guys who are desperately expecting the role enhancement, but are low in confidence, would intentionally embark this conversation to get the desired assurance and confidence from the listeners in this way:

" Jo bhi ho yaar lekin, kisi aur ki ho na ho (yeah he's pointing to himself, poor him), is baar Nayar ki pakki hogi ! " , hoping in his heart that the others would counter argue by saying :

" Are nahi yaar, tere bhi poore chances hain. Agar Nayar ki hui, to teri to usse pehle hogi " - and he's relaxed big time, as if he's already got the promotion letter. Yeah, it really feels good if people around you keep assuring that you are the one, a definite one this year... And you need to get this assurance again and again and that too quite often.

The ones who are least active in this conversation have been either recently promoted, recently joined or recently resigned. But nevertheless, they love it. Everyone loves it. After all, this can either stimulate or sedate your complacency towards your career growth. You look at your peers, your supervisors and even your subordinates. And you rightly so, because you get the opportunity to paint this career graph on a canvas called life against age, experience and money. Everyone gets distinct graphs with different shapes, and everyone takes it differently. It's a matter of pride and joy for many, whereas sorrow and disgust for the rest. But then, you can always paint it better the next year. You always have that power. That luck !

And so may you get the best of that luck this year. And so do I :)

Gaurav Gupta

I am back !

2010-04-27T23:07:00.002+01:00

Place de la Renaissance Bois Colombes, Paris 27 Apr 2010 10:40 PM Tuesday

I am back. Rather, I hope I am back. Back after being completely lost in the silly and perplexed intricacies of life. Lost in the delusions of being supremely busy and socially active, whereas the matter of fact is lately i've been just a slothful slug.

A slug, who's just happy working 9 hours in the office, come back home, either watch IPL or play cricket / squash, stuff the food, listen to musik and sleep ! Or just is too busy speaking to friends over the phone and internet, go out places to relish the warm weather or partying at different places with never ending chats and banter! Day 2, Day 3, etc. goes similarly on and on and on...

Where is that day, that hour, that moment you need to give yourself, to your thoughts and most importantly to your life ! where is that? Where are those books that i started with exuberant enthusiasm, and can now hardly find myself turning over even a single page... Where are those plans and resolutions that i vowed a few months back to accomplish and can now only see those in a distant memory or stored in a text file lost somewhere in my PC... Why do i lose track so easily, why I am so susceptible to fall in to this delusion, so easily and so quickly and that too over and over again... With so many questions and puzzles wobbling in my head only to conclude this one thing - this is life and that's the way it is! And it's not perfect and neither am I. And more importantly, there is nothing wrong in it...Does this happen to everyone? I reckon not. But shall this bother me in future. Probably not.

We all say "Time just flies.." Does it really fly? Or does it mean we din't have enough significant moments to capture in our lives, or may be we dont' even have enough good memory to hold them on. I dont' know. I know i think rubbish sometimes, if not most of the times, and write even more rubbish. But great people don't speak rubbish and that's why I would like to mention two lovely quotes that i've had read recently:

1) Life is half spent before we know what it is. - George Herbert

2) You can have it all. You just can't have it all once - Oprah Winfrey.

So true, and so rich. And so impressive. I wonder what positive influence great people can actually have on society. If at all, they try to ! They are the people to whom God has given some extraordinary powers and luck. I believe that they shall not only recognize that, but shall respect that. How often do you get a chance to change the world by uttering a few words out of your mouth? How often do you see people worshipping you more than the eternal God? How often do you realize that you are the most powerful man on the earth or for that matter any part of it? But as the irony has it all, not every great man realizes that. And not every great man who realizes that, respects that.

That's why it's often said "With great power comes great responsibility"

And we see people being misguided and misled to result into damage to all humanity. And we all suffer. I am sure you won't find it difficult to think about sort of the people i am pointing to. There are everywhere - every country, every city, every town and every house ! Everyone has got a command in themselves. A power to influence the others. Only the intensity and the circle of influence varies with person to person. So, why not start with making a positive mark on the immediate ones who admire us, who respect us and love us? Why not sorting somebody's life out of the shit just by lending a helping hand? Isn't this power of changing someone's life worth exercising? Isn't even this whole idea of positivity too exciting?

Or probably, I am just thinking too much sitting in my new room in a new city in a new country !

Ta
Gaurav Gupta

A Perfect Day !

2010-02-27T22:58:00.013+00:00

Crawford Place, Newbury 27 Feb 2010 8:40 PM Saturday

I get up and start my day in the best possible way, speaking to the best possible person, with the best possible wishes, on the best possible occasion. It's my mum's birthday. Little sister is with her doing the best what she can do to make her feel happy and light-hearted and feels proud in flaunting her own birthday presents that she got a few days back from her beloved brother on her 25th birthday. And the mother is mightily pleased. And delighted. Such a moment is just a sheer bliss ! An ecstasy, which I just can only conceive being here...

The day progresses and the british weather continues to wobble conforming to its reputation. One moment sunny, the next one rainy and then again sunny. Mr. Nayar and I decide to go down to the kitchen to make some "pakoras" for ourselves and for our dear friends. Shalar and his wife, Swaliha join us in this feast and put up their own contributions. Shitiz, as always only messes around and does nothing ! I go out next door to Mitesh's house to borrow the tea sieve and coriander leaves needed for pakoras to complement the missing delight in our Saturday afternoon's exuberance.

The fun wasn't over. We switched on our television to see "Meet the Parents", a nice comedy flick, which seemed to have entertained Mr. Nayar much more than anyone else. He's no different than Mr. Sidhu who can laugh at virtually anything, and you eventually start laughing not necessarily over the stated joke, but over the boisterous and wild laughter erupting out of their throats... Just kidding! So, the day has been pretty fantastic - nice food, light movie and a great fellowship !

If you ask me the best moment of today, that connects to one of my best mates - Varun. He got officially engaged today, to a very sweet, pretty and lovely girl - Shaveta. I've known him for years now, and can literally read his mind, his thoughts and his emotions. I still remember the day when he first broke this news to me and i was just absolutely thrilled. It's such a great feeling which you struggle to communicate either in words or in expressions, and which you struggle even to contain either in your heart or in your mind. You just love the way it is !

Varun and I have talked about this subject and our aspirations so many times in the past - in school, in college, after college, sometimes online, many a times in person. We have been in different situations over these past few years and all i can say to him now is - Bro, I am proud of you... and literally dying to meet you ! You've got all my best wishes and love and i really hope you have a great time ahead !

Between, A very Happy Holi to all of you ! Let's see what colors this Holi brings into our lives...

Ta
Gaurav Gupta

I wish i was there...

2010-02-11T23:33:00.001+00:00

Crawford Place, Newbury 11 Feb 2010 6:30 PM Thursday

I sit in my living room, legs sprawled across the center table, Pringles and Pepsi within my arms' reach, Mac on my lap, soothing music touching my ears... having all the time in the world, with no more bumpy hassles, just relishing the joy of this beautiful evening ! Oh boy, I missed this, missed it big time !!!

Last three weeks have been pretty exciting. And exhilarating.

A lot has happened in between. New home, new life style and a billion new complications... No broadband, no internet, no electronic communication. No furniture, no bed and no sleep ! Service launch at work under massive pressure, iPad introduction by Steve Jobs, endless political controversies in India, cousin's marriage, blah blah blah and Apple MacBook Pro. No, i din't buy one, but eventually i got one !

It's a beautiful thin machine which fits perfectly on your lap, doesn't weigh much and its sensational graphical experience just blows you away !!! I've had my luck working on Apple machines in the past as well - way back in 2004, when they used to run on Motorola PowerPC processors, and i still remember they'd always looked stunning, perfectly sparkling with their elegance and style !

Coming back to new home. With new home come new neighbours. And eventually, new rules for new society. But rules were broken and a severe reprimand was received in turn. This is it. This is what i don't like here. You just can't do what you are used to do. What you have been doing all your life. Listening to high music, dancing in home, loud chats and deafening laughter :) ! Ok i agree you've got to avoid that, but can't they just be a bit more tolerant, or they have to admonish their neighbours for the mistakes the very first day and that too in a very impudent way !

A lot is going to happen as well in the coming weeks which i shall discuss as and when it comes. February has always been very special and kind to me. It has got quite a lot of my personal attachment. And emotional connection. I reckon it is one of the most beautiful months of the year. Not only because the weather remains fantastic throughout, but also because I get a chance to celebrate lots of anniversaries in my family - marriage, birthdays.

Every time I think about this month and the corresponding events, I experience a great sense of nostalgia. And deep gratitude for Almighty who has given me such a wonderful family. So lovely parents and an adorable sweet sister. And here I am living alone miles away from them only to realise that there is nothing more worth than being with them in person in these special moments. Your physical presence is just so much required. And desired. You've got to live these moments with them to make them feel even more special. To express your thanks and gratitude for their eternal love which has always been taken for granted. To make them smile. And to see that lovely smile on their faces which will spark an immediate stream of tears in your eyes. And then their eyes. To go near and hug her to say "I love you Mom...".

Sometimes, I wonder what is more important in life - career or happiness !

Are we living a private life anymore?

2010-01-16T21:37:00.003+00:00

Sandown Way, Newbury Jan 16, 2010 9:36 PM Saturday

Strange feelings flared up across my mind the moment i wrote "Sandown Way" on this post. Yes, this is probably the last time i'll be posting from this house, which has been my abode from the past 1.5 years. A number of different guys came and went, some stayed here for a few days, some for a while, and some for ever, in my heart. And how lucky i've been to have those friends in my life !

I am moving to another house near town center with couple of my best mates here. Both are extremely chatty, cool and funny. Perfect companions for me. And so you can see, i am equally delighted.

As I move ahead of these mixed feelings, my mind still has been muddled up with something else. I read an old article somewhere today which speaks about the changes, or shall i say revolutions, that these social networking websites have brought up in our lives. I said "revolutions" on purpose. We probably might be a little behind the western countries in terms of the impact of these, but we certainly are getting the real heat.

There were times when we used to publicize our limited moments of life. Once upon a time, we only used to share special things, and that too with special people. Once upon a time, our lives were private by default, which have eventually crawled to Public over the past few years now, thanks to more than 1000% growth of Twitter and 350+ million subscribers for Facebook. That's the combined population of United States of America and United Kingdom by the way!!! Orkut is not far behind either.

Strangely enough, flowing along the course of this modern trend, we find it hard now to filtrate what NOT to publish. We get confused over the idea of not sharing everything with everyone. Because nothing is personal anymore ! People propose over web these days, they give birth, they die, drink, smoke, love, sing, dance, i mean what is personal then??? It's becoming more and more ' cool ' to live a public life. And boy, don't you believe me? There was a news of a guy posting a video of his wife giving birth to his child. A guy updating his relationship status during his marriage ceremony. At the Altar !!! Many more...

Now, we tweet it for the hundreds of followers, half of whom we haven't even met or known; we broadcast renowned "status update" to apprise people of every single action from last night dreams early next morning to late night party gossips... We all do it.. I do it as well ! I don't know the reason why the others do it; i do it because at times i just don't find anything better ! I am sure others must have got some better rationale than this. I guess anyways it's not everybody's cup of tea, so guys like me shall actually bank on orthodox methods of social interaction such as e-mails, personal chats and once in a while putting up a blog post for the sake of keeping ourselves in sync with this public world :)

With Google swallowing over the internet world in its own belly, you just can't expect the situation to be any better, if not worse. Almost every software professional in the world, if not all, use one or the other Google services today. And Google is smart. They have integrated everything together, and that too very nicely. So, you login to different services using the same credentials, say e-mail address and that's it pretty much. Now, come third party applications developers which make use of this fact and exploit it to the best possible way. You go to any social networking website today, and you very well know how easy is to import your Gmail and other contacts straightaway. No wonder girls have to forge their pictures to avert unknown friend requests, or other crap billions profile visits, or hacks...With even more powerful search engines coming into every corner of all the websites, i wonder how difficult would it be for someone to live a private life in this big public internet world in the near future?

So, you just can't ignore anyone now a days, can you? The idea of your own small private world looks like a distant dream now. But yes, you do have a choice. Do not join the internet. Or join hands with everyone. Join this vast web of unknown people with a public hug...Guys and Gals, good or bad, I reckon we have almost officially entered into an era of Public visibility !

Ta
Gaurav Gupta

Time to wake up !

2010-01-13T21:43:00.001+00:00

Sandown Way, Newbury Jan 13, 2010 9:30 PM Wednesday

It's almost a week now since i wrote something... and i realize now how easy is to get entrapped. Entrapped in to this ugly world of sloth, where most of the times we just brush off our allegiances, only to realize sometime later that you are actually far behind than your peers, your friends, the world, and most importantly your dreams !!!

I shall get active now and make best use of the preserved energy to deliver. To my own commitments and to heavily accrued action items. I don't know why this happens so often to me. I get up one fine day and some thing or the other makes me abruptly impatient enough to analyse and then realize "What the hell have i been doing from the past six months? I don't even recall if i have learned even a single new thing". As the process continues, I interrogate myself a bit more. More questions. More answers. In all probability, even multiple answers. A hell lot of justifications and explanations endeavor to drown me into the sea of complacence. And do i swim? Definitely not. I succumb.

““Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.””

Anyways, whatever you choose, you swim or drown, time just flies. And it flies even faster when you are having fun. You enjoy every moment of it, but you still can't hold it.

The week has been busy mostly in preparing a demo for the client. A platform to show off all your hard work. To demonstrate your enthusiasm for your product. To showcase your commitment for your words. Having done all the hard work now, i sit back and listen to my current favorite songs, or shall i say "a song" on youtube. My roommates are absolutely sick of my habit of listening to one song over and over again a zillion times a day. But I enjoy it ! Oh yeah, i seriously enjoy it. Unless the entire song has been embedded in my music loving spirit, which normally take 3-4 days, and 40-50 repeats, i don't quit... but eventually, my roommates DO. Okkay, so which is the current one? it's a nice song "Sureeli Ankhiyoon wale" from Veer :) I reckon Rahat Fatah Ali Khan did a fantastic job ! Your views?

Ta
Gaurav Gupta

I think, think and think...

2010-01-07T22:18:00.000+00:00

Sandown Way, Newbury Jan 07, 2010 9:20 PM Thursday

Working from home is always a fun and thanks to this severe weather and dense snowfall, which has hit UK in the worst possible way in the past 40 years, the fun doesn't seem to end too soon :)

After all, "How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then to rest afterward.”

Jokes apart, it has been a rather sober day. Or shall i say sober week so far. For some of my friends. And eventually for me. There has been a wave of continuous disappointment and sadness flowing through the icy winds of my surroundings which constructed a cerebral environment and coerced me to ponder. And the moment i start, the moment i am gone. In to an eternal world of thoughts, subjective and objective, good and bad, positive and negative, beautiful and ugly, real and virtual !!!

No wonder i don't have much hairs left on my head.

Yeah, i just constantly think. Think about the situations people are in. Think about the reasons behind. You give your best shot in terms of logic and practicality to them, but then you don't always succeed, do you? I struggle to find out answers to most of the situations they've ever been because every story is a brand new story. A new cause. A new result. But you still advise. You propose some solutions. Spread some rays of hope. Somebody very rightly said "There is always hope" and so shall i believe it and try to put this belief across. Sometimes you win. Most of the times you Fail !!!

I shall not fail to describe that more often than not, we all face these situations. Sometimes, we speak, which we all prefer to. Sometimes, we've got to listen, which we don't desire to. In my case, no surprises, i choose to speak on both the occasions :) Only I can convince myself. So, no one even tries.

The situation i fear the most and even hate to mention is termed as "depression". I loathe this word. Not to even mention its consequences. As they say, "The depressed people don't need a reason to kill themselves, they need a reason not to". I won't even touch that topic any further. It's best to leave it here. Closed. And folded.

Majority of the times, I've seen people crying due to heartaches or job losses. Heartaches due to different reasons. Sometimes, it is HIM, while most of the times it is HER. I know this would stir a heated argument, but with all due respect to girls, this was just an ugly joke. I don't exactly recall where i read this - " A few heartaches are essential for one's complete evolution" or may be this is a nascent thought which just came out of my mind. I don't completely agree to this. Neither i refute it entirely. You need not allow someone to break your heart to get the desired maturity. But yes, you do need some pain, suffering to become more strong, and more practical. But whatever the situation is, you've got to believe one thing - you can't change it by shedding tears, but you can surely obliterate it by rising gears !!!

"Take pride in your pain; you are stronger than those who have none”

Let's wait for iSlate and Nexus One...

2010-01-04T22:31:00.000+00:00

Sandown Way, Newbury Jan 4, 2010 8:18 PM Monday

An interesting video down there:

As many of you might be aware that tomorrow Google will be announcing its own branded phone called Nexus One, i wonder what they'll come up with to compete with the best smartphone in the market- iPhone. Nexus One looks beautiful as you might preview it in the image given below:

But the bigger question is - Will it change the mobile world just like iPhone did 3 years back when Steve Jobs reinvented the phone and changed our lives. Will it revolutionize the way we browse internet and watch movies? Will it be the next BIG thing from Google?

Apple, on the other hand is set to launch the much rumored tablet computer "iSlate" sometime this month. I read criticisms and commendations about this new Apple idea, but being an avid admirer of Steve Jobs, i've kept my fingers crossed. Moroever, you don't see the vision of Steve Jobs going haywire too often, do you? Rather since his comeback to Apple in 1997, he hasn't looked back and so hasn't Apple !

If you want to check out "young" Jobs and Gates, check out the following video when Bill Gates used to work with Steve Jobs :)

Stay In...

2010-01-03T20:42:00.000+00:00

Sandown Way, Newbury January 3, 2010 6:30 PM Sunday

Don't worry about the people in your past. There IS a reason they didn't make it to your future...

I came across this beautiful quote today while browsing through my Google Reader. I have to admit i was moved. And touched. Moved because even it is so simple, it's complex enough for us to acknowledge. Touched because it's highly obvious, yet we battle with past every day, and some of us every moment !!!

I wonder why it's so easy to fall into this situation, why we love to reminisce, especially at this time of the year when you conceive you have the opportunity to change yourself, your environment, and your ecosystem. Even when actually there has never been a different today, yesterday, or for that matter yesteryear. You always have had YOUR time. You always have had Your era. Your luck. What you didn't have at times is You with you. You didn't have faith in yourself. Trust and confidence in yourself. I guess that's why everyone reminisces, and so do I ! Occasionally though :)

I shall not indulge deep in to it and continue to experience and relish the high spirits of this new year. First Sunday starts with beautiful glittering sun and excites us enough to decide our breakfast in a flash. Manish and I go to kitchen immediately and after an hour later we come out with a plate full of pakoras. Varun makes the perfect ginger tea. Rest of the housemates join in and we chat and we eat. Exuberance !!! And Pleasure.

It's the time of the year when the whole web is inundated with distinct ideas and methods to track your goals and your resolutions. If you are really interested, follow the following link:
http://lifehacker.com/5439026/five-best-goal+tracking-tools?skyline=true&s=i

For me, the best way to accomplish your goals/resolutions is a) Make it public and b) Regular assessment

Public failure is the most dreadful situation for anyone to be in, and we shall exploit that fear to drive ourselves. To come out of our comfort zone and to work towards our goal. How many times have we commenced something and just when we needed the final thrust, we quit. Because nobody is watching us. I think everyone has his own forte, but we all human beings share one special ability - we can convince ourselves pretty easily. We can justify almost anything, such as i couldn't study to get into a B school because i never have had time. Others may justify quitting smoking to result into lack of concentration and blah blah... We all do it and we all win, of course paradoxically !!!

Assessment plays its vital part too. More important is When? And then How? Timing of the assessment shall be chosen initially based on complexity of the goal and your comfort level. You don't want to position yourself in a situation where you get demotivated very soon and pretty often. If you trust yourself, you'll get there. May not today. May not tomorrow, but certainly SOME day. We need to find out different ways to escape if not kick out the roadblocks in your journey. We need to persist. Stay in!

I hope the following words will always help me in taking me to my destiny, my fate...

There are so many people out there who'll tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say "Watch Me!"

I am lovin it...

2010-01-02T04:03:00.000+00:00

January 1 / 2, 2010 2:07 AM

““Where should one use perfume?” a young woman asked.
“Wherever one wants to be kissed,” I said. ”
- Coco Chanel.

That's the sort of humor you want in your life, in your thoughts and you are sorted for ever! Later today, i had the opportunity to explore an extraordinary fun and humor in my friend's house where we laughed until our stomachs started hurting. The star performers were Praveen and Amit (Betalal as we fondly call him) who stunned the audience with their superb punch lines and their extraordinary amusing mischievous stories of their bachelorhood. This was followed by card games and dumb charades. While our team was horrible in judging the movies, thanks to some superb performances by our team members, the opposition team was equally proficient in cheating and making fake movies. The icing on the cake was the acting performance of Mr. Jain in dumb charades who ran like a kid 10 times in the exact same way to suggest a TRAIN and eventually we lost the game by expecting it to RUN, DAUD and blah blah... :) The dinner was fabulous with 3 different North Indian dishes, Pulaav, Raita with the favorite Kheer as the main dessert. You don't expect a better start than this for a new year, do you?

Earlier today, I spoke to quite many friends and relatives and such endearing and lovely was the feeling that i couldn't even realize that i need to have my breakfast when the clock had already struck half past two. This suddenly makes me realize that i need to rush to bed now since it's already ten past three! But the joy of penning down my thoughts seems to have overpowered my sleep for the past few days and so shall i continue to experience this new journey of delight and rejoice.

There are a few things that I've observed about myself lately and i shall nail down the specifics of those quickly to assess them more deeply. I've realized that i've got some serious work to do in the coming months which surely will help me to reach where I've always wanted to be! I was reading a post today from one of my closest friends' blog and quickly realized the difference between the way we approach our lives. This is what i find so fascinating and so inspiring, few words straight from someone's heart reveal so much about them that might have taken ages to get out to people otherwise! I personally feel that people don't take speech as seriously as they do text. You might disagree, but then everyone has his own judgments and his own premises.

I hate snoring, the guy immediate next to my room is a big snorer and unfortunately i really can't help much about it! He's a nice guy otherwise :) Between, i m still getting those obscure dreams, no more killings now by the way, but still some strange fantasies of living a college life with my current managers as my new teachers! :) I knew i was weird, and now i am getting more and more convinced every passing day! But when i got to know my other friends share the same problem, i don't feel alone anymore. Check this out - A friend of mine dressed in a red sari greeted me on my grand wedding in New Delhi yesterday with myself being a 200W light bulb of happiness, only to realize a few moments later that she's sleeping in United States!!! We all are crazy and before i get completely nuts, i shall sign off for today! Cya!

I'll miss you 2009!

2009-12-31T19:53:00.000+00:00

I'll start by congratulating my uncle - Mama jee for his retirement from Board of School Education, Haryana today. It's a special day for him and for all of us who are extremely proud of his wonderful professional career, where he managed to add only new fans, friends and admirers rather than any unnecessary controversial spice in his peaceful life. I wonder what he was thinking right before going to bed the night before, what he was feeling the moment he was asked to step up to the podium to deliver his farewell speech, the pace of his heart beat when he saw the biggest tears in the eyes of his favorite student,, oh boy, i just completely WONDER!!!

I don't know the official reason to have these retirement celebrations on the last day of the year, but it does make sense to me because psychologically you realize you've got to make a brand new beginning the immediate next day! It's too hard to even think of sitting idle the whole day, when you have the greatest experience but still no work, when you have enough money, but still no ideas, when you have such a big family, but still no friends!!! gee, let's not think too much about it! It's a new year eve and i shall abstain myself from any somber thoughts, but i'll get back to it some day, after all for how long can you avoid these bitter truths of life - you got to be either black or white!

Between, it's already 2010 in India, and i got my first new year wish from my sister followed by some lovely friends.... Have yet to make my first call though, will start in another couple of minutes... Celebrations include a nice North Indian dinner, a movie (Sherlock Holmes)- my 4th this month (Paranormal Activity, Avatar and 3 Idiots), so you can see the hit ratio has been pretty good so far and i hope the sequence doesn't break today... and finally midnight firework celebrations in Newbury Racecourse Center.

Anyways, let me bid final good bye to 2009 blogging :) and welcome the coming year ahead with lots of new ideas, lots of new posts and lots of new friends! A very Happy New Year to all of you! God Bless~~~

Ta

I look back...

2009-12-30T18:40:00.000+00:00

The day started with a heavy head and a perplexed mind, reasons yet unknown but i guess early morning obscure dreams did the damage... the only part i remember was horrible and awful - was stabbing people with sword,, a very long blade similar to the one used by Aragorn, yeah i agree i love The Lord of the Rings trilogy, but boy, to this extent? :) That wasn't funny,, was it?

The weather wasn't the best today as it has been for quite a while now, i mean who likes a blowy drizzling weather in a chilly dark morning when you have to walk down to a bus stop without an umbrella? Oh yeah, i have got an umbrella, but i've never managed to put that in my backpack which i always regret once i step out of the front door and probably always will!

So, one more day and we'll set our feet on the unknown but promising roads of 2010, a year which always has fascinated me due to unknown reasons :), a year which looked so far just a few months back, a year which i no longer want to live just like any other previous year... If i look back now, 2004 was the year that i cherish the most till today, but then, you never appreciate your present unless you see it in the history books... do you? Gotta work on that! Nevertheless, I've had my share of happiness in 2009 - the much anticipated family and friend's UK visit, a few successful resolutions, Diwali celebrations at home and friends marriages, although couldn't attend any unfortunately. What really was missing is hard to sketch out as a single entity, but surely i missed the fun of hanging out with my dear family and friends, chatting incessantly with my closest frens for hours, playing hoax with the colleagues during parties and so on... and so shall i continue to miss these as my journey to 2010 begins, in this alien land in another couple of days...

Finally!!!

2009-12-29T22:49:00.000+00:00

29-12-09 – Not a historic day by any means that i m aware of, but whatever was the reason that motivated me to start up my blog today will make this day historic for me… I don’t even remember now since how long i’ve desired to pen down my thoughts on web via a blog, but nevertheless, the journey begins Today – 2 days to 2010. You could’ve argued y dint I wait for another couple of days to start this new journey in the new year, but then… I’ve already fallen victim to this thought numerous times in the past… and i just don’t want to lose the momentum that was so much desired!!!

Now, the bigger challenge would be to preserve this enthusiasm for some good time next year… yeah yeah, i know my inner self is raising some serious doubts over this due to my track record and incessant wobbling focus, but i promise to improve!! improve big time now… Anyways, i shall leave it here today! A lot more to discuss in the coming posts….

Gaurav Gupta