Wanderlust

No way out but in

2010-12-14T21:55:00.000-08:00

Shrug it off, darling, the sky ain't falling down just yet.

Pull yourself together, girl. The worst part's only just approaching now.

And as the seconds turn to minutes, feeling trapped, there's no way out but in.

Nothing is lost

2010-12-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

Why does one begin to write? Because she feels misunderstood, I guess. Because it never comes out clearly enough when she tries to speak. Because she wants to rephrase the world, to take it in and give it back again differently, so that everything is used and nothing is lost.

- Nicole Krauss

Everything

2010-12-14T21:18:00.000-08:00

Most of us don't know what we want but a few of us lucky ones do. Only we refuse to recognize just what it is because we're shameful, doubtful of the truth. If only we knew, it's staring right back at us. So close, we could taste its whisper if we wanted to. Beckoning for us to come a little closer, breathing us in, breathing us out. Consuming us all, entirely. Like a black hole, it pulls us in deeper, obliterating every atom, every molecule that crosses its path. Until all we have turns to nothing, until that turns to ash. Until the ash scatters and bursts into flames, until the combustion creates everything we've ever wanted. Everything we've ever had.

For a moment there

2010-12-14T20:37:00.000-08:00

For a moment there, you had me. You had me going with your wild fantasies, with your if-only's. For a moment there, you'd convinced me. And for a moment there, you lost me.

It's those

2010-12-14T20:34:00.000-08:00

It's those who seek the most affection who receive it least.

It's those who seek redemption who are never forgiven.

It's those who seek only the truth who are never told.

It's those who seek only life who are never given.

Dear you

2010-12-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

No, I can't offer you beautiful words or charming looks

I can't sway you with flattering talk or ordinary feelings

But within this heart, is all the love one person can muster.

And it's all for you and no one else,

If that's not enough, then I don't know what is.

'Cause it could be reverse, either way, we'd make it work

If you'd just give me your one last chance

Without life, there is no love

2010-12-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

Love is never not on our minds.

Its function as natural as breathing. Its purpose everlasting.

But we shouldn't consume ourselves with just love.

It's redundant, we've heard it all before.

We can't forget about life or let love overshadow it anymore

Because without life, there is no love

This is how

2010-12-11T05:44:00.000-08:00

So this is how it feels

When the arteries begin to clot, when the mind begins to rot

This is how it sounds

When the world begins to fade with the moon as it starts to wane

This is how it tastes

As once familiar odors linger in the room, apprehending certain doom

The only thing

2010-12-11T05:18:00.000-08:00

We're nothing alike you and I

The only thing we have in common is we're both gonna die

We don't speak the same words

We don't think the same thoughts

But we're all going down the same road,

The only thing we have to say for ourselves now is lost

By any means

2010-12-11T05:14:00.000-08:00

It's not as simple as it seems,

Neither complicated by any means.

It's difficult to recognize the error in our ways as we choose to be blinded

Until our sight all but fades

Gamble

2010-12-11T04:56:00.000-08:00

If it's a gamble so what? No one ever said it wouldn't be a risk.

If it's worth it or not, hell there's a lot more to it than this

False everything

2010-12-11T04:46:00.000-08:00

False sympathy, false hope, false beliefs, false idols, false memories.

What do we conjure if not lies?

If everything proves false, what's the underlying truth of this chaos we call life?

Bitter pill

2010-12-11T04:42:00.000-08:00

What are you so afraid of?

Just open up wide and swallow the bitter pill of life

As you're peering outside your window

You'll find the things you've been avoiding all this time

All the wasted nights you had stayed up

Trying to figure out what to do with what's left behind

Filthy, menacing

2010-12-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

They call you filthy,

Notorious for your vulgar talk, known for your wild walk

But to me you're beautiful, despite one hell of a twisted soul

You're in disguise, I know, I can see through the angst in your eyes

If they'd just take a closer look, they'd find compassion buried deep inside

They call you menacing,

But you're just like anyone else, alive and well

Save for differences you don't quite understand

What you are is yin and yang, both the sun and the moon

You've got the cruel world in the palm of your hands

If only you knew, you steal breaths as you enter the room

Inner beauty

2010-11-21T14:26:00.000-08:00

"it’s all about inner beauty. you don’t know it, but you’re all fuckin’ awesome, okay? there’s not one single person that has the same set of genetics as someone else. so from this day forward, everyone should feel like one: an individual, and two: fuckin’ beautiful."

—

john o’callaghan

Trust

2010-11-18T20:44:00.000-08:00

I just want you to know, there is such a thing as trust.

I can prove it, I'm trying to, because I've been where you are.

And it sucks don't it? Yeah, I know, it does.

I know how you feel, you see, I've been broken too.

Well you fixed me up nicely and my only wish is to do the same with you.

Don't be afraid to believe, you know I wouldn't lie to you.

Like I said, I know how it feels, and it's not something I'd want to put you through

I miss everything

2010-11-17T23:56:00.000-08:00

And the way you'd slur every verb and how you'd emphasize every other word you'd say. The way you'd run your fingers through you hair. The way you'd smile that awfully, beautiful, crooked smile, that still gets me to this day. I miss the sound of your voice, blowing on my neck, causing my hairs to stand on end and a shiver to course through my spine. I miss placing my lips on those soft smiling eyes and the way your lashes tickled them sometimes. I miss how when we spoke, we'd finish off each other's sentences, it still blows my mind. I miss how we meshed so well, like two pieces of the same puzzle. I miss how it felt to be in your arms, safe and warm, like I was indestructible. I miss your tender touch, when you'd lift my chin towards your face and I'd take your cheek in my hand and we stayed in that position for what seemed like days. You can't forget the rush we both felt just before our lips first met. I miss when the only sounds we would hear were your fingers drumming against my skin, and the sweet nothings you'd whisper in my ear. I miss that one night in particular where we laid in the darkness together, silent and still for the longest time, wrapped in each other, our legs intertwined. My head resting against your chest, taking in your every scent. Do you remember that? When our day to day worries evaporated into thin air as we laid together so close to the world yet so far away? I miss the day when you told me I was yours and you were mine, and how so suddenly, that very same day you had changed your mind. I miss you. Will I find another you? I'm losing hope in mankind. I just don't wanna try, and be disappointed to find no one else compares. My first shot was perfect. But that shot's gone and past. Alas, you're not coming back. Do you even remember who I am, or am I just a silly insignificant story you tell all your friends? Don't tell me I'm just another paragraph in your life, when you took up chapters in mine.

Something

2010-11-17T21:20:00.000-08:00

All I ever do is hope, hoping all this wishful thinking won't go to waste.

Hoping it will be for something that compensates for all my time spent waiting for nothing.

A form of something worn out, a something in my heart screaming another something awful loud.

I've seen it happen and I've seen it break like all things do.

Unlike all things though, I can say for sure, that this on the other hand is infinite.

The tragic truth

2010-11-17T00:37:00.001-08:00

Whoever said tomorrow is promised was a hopeless romantic

Here's the tragic truth: your life don't mean shit at all

Put ourselves out on display just to feel extraordinary

Live everyday like it's a holiday

In reality, we're all gonna waste away

Time's running out so we'll

Go out of our way just to have our names written down

Gilded shells

2010-11-16T23:31:00.000-08:00

We're never satisfied so we lie.

Caught up in a web, till our realities die. We're empty, gilded shells, hollow inside

Not only victims of the disease but culprits to the crime.

We think we know what we don't.

Half-truths told are forming a spiral, nothing short of a dangerous cycle

The only ones

2010-11-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

We choose to be fooled

It's easier to expect they speak only the truth

Let's sleep our lives away cause we got nothing else to live for

We speak out loud like we're the only ones who deserve to be heard

Set it free, won't you

2010-11-08T21:57:00.000-08:00

There's life within you, dormant but very much alive

Believe me, I can see it reflected in your eyes

See this smoldering fire? It's building inside

Begging to break loose, seeking your permission

Set it free, won't you? Set it free

Death of me

2010-11-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

The highest highs and the lowest lows

We're learning balance, but God why does it take so slow?

The thoughts that run wild at night will be the death of me

Dreams so impossible, I doubt I'll ever know

Don't feel so discouraged

2010-11-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

Don't feel so discouraged son.

What matters most doesn't lie out there but what lies in here.

He said as he pointed to my chest.

But you're what matters to me most, I objected.

Oh but you see, there's one special place where you'll always find me,

Where I will last long after I'm gone, long after I've faded from your memory

And that place is this, in here.

I nodded despite being unsure exactly what he meant

Throw it all down

2010-11-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

Throw it all down,

We saved up enough to haul ass outta this godforsaken town

So we'll load up the trunk, and drink it all up

We're reliving the rush just so we can stay young

And we listen to the world but we don't hear a sound

Because the awful truth is time's working against us

So we'll confront our demons one last time

Before we can finally leave the past behind us now

Your freckled green eyes I doubt I'll soon forget

The sound of your voice still haunts me at night

But don't worry so much baby 'cause I can guarantee

I'll be seeing you standing there on the other side