Jodie

#TheGraduateDiaries Aims of Schools

2013-05-20T14:01:00.001+03:00

Schools have aims right?

They have something they hope to achieve by providing education to students.

Most schools have to state this in less than ten words- and truth is some schools get it while others seem to veer way off the plot to me.

With the introduction of NOT-SO-FREE primary education in Kenya- there have been many institutions set up with the hope of educating students- but they fail in achieving this. So what should a school aim for?

Researchers say that of uttermost importance is the cultivation of minds- what kind of minds you may ask? Well, Intellectual minds.

See- according to historical events- schools were set up as institutions of academic excellence- where people would learn, speak, act and create in an intellectual manner- but all this is to be in a civilized and monitored manner. Everyone was to be treated equally- given the same opportunities but only respected and more so deemed different if they proved to be smarter than the others.

Hence first positions and last positions in exams.

So, in Kenya and having taken a look at Kisumu- most schools go by the motto "knowledge is power."

My former primary school - Arya Primary holds "success through efforts."

Xaverian believes education is the "fountain of excellence."

Kisumu Girls Secondary has something going on in French- I can neither spell it or pronounce it- but it has "luce...." something in it. If you ask me the only Luc- I know means light, and Lucifer gave it a whole new meaning!

But- looking up on #TheGraduateDiaries I learned that most of the unemployed youth who graduated from universities have fond memories of their primary school life.

They recall the games, classes, teachers and even their dreams- and it got me asking, "what happened along the way?"

Some simply told me that they grew up! I will confess, I have not yet grown up because childhood tendencies are in my system as we speak. But- that's where I get to understand how to interact with children and it makes it fun to volunteer in homes.

Why does a school's aim matter?

If you are taking your child to school- in Kenya parents have it easy- all they do is look at the TV or read a newspaper to know which schools topped the exams!

But, that should not be the case, right now as a parent one should ask- "what will you do to improve my child's methods of knowledge acquisition and application?"

It should not be about what rank the school is, but about what rank your child will be in or out of that school as an individual.

Will he/she pass exams but fail to stand before an audience and express his/her thoughts and feelings? Will he/she bring home a report card stamped "excellent" but fail to understand how to interact with you as his/her parents?

Schools can come up with excellent aims- because words are like bullets, you load them in a gun, secure a target, then aim- and await the results.

So, if they say that "knowledge is power" what kind of power will their knowledge add onto your already powerful child?

If the child will be told "hard work pays" will that mean being given tonnes of homework that renders your child nocturnal, bored and most of all unable to play with his/her friends?

Schools have aims- but a parent's aims for their child should surpass those that he/she is entrusting with his/her child. School may inculcate some things in your child, the house help might add others- but you should also as a parent ensure that you provide your child with the greatest knowledge of all- and that is the power to discern- help the child look into matters, let them ask questions, set them on track as they explore the answers and when they come to a conclusion- listen, and then let them thrive.

So, if your school did have an aim- what was it?

Did it really live up to that aim?

And as an alumnus, did you live up to that aim?

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

The Enigma of the Education system.

2013-05-18T14:59:00.001+03:00

Having talked about living this morning- I figured I could shed some light on what I found out about the education system in Kenya.

The Ministry of Education in Kenya believes in quality education for development- and with so much going on and facing a lot of criticism- it published the Basic Education Act no. 14 this year. This was to ensure an upgrade of the system came into place.

I think a little of it did materialize- this came in form of weeks kids spend in school- and no tuition which means that kids can actually play and visit their grandparents like we did back in the 90s.

But inasmuch as this was done- one great shortfall of this Act is the syllabus- and the desire to finish it in one term!

Yes, kids have no holiday tuition but they get tonnes of homework!

Now- let's get moving and look at the 8-4-4 system. It was formally enacted in 1985 by the then president Moi (a teacher too) with the hope of seeing that children have a strong foundation as they grow old. But, looking at it I daresay the guy was a little brilliant.

I mean 4 years in high school?

Why couldn't he make that 3? He could not because cognitively speaking (am talking mental development) adolescence is a very turbulent time as one seeks to make peace with what he/she is discovering versus what his/her parents have been saying for the past thirteen years! It's not an easy time and Psychologists understand that education is much of a chore and a bore at this stage yet it is the most important if one seeks to make anything out of their lives if they want. While we're at it, read Learning, knowledge and Meaning by Julian Stodd - it's got quite some insights!

Baba Moi may have had the best in mind for Kenyans when he came up with the 8-4-4 system- and Lord knows our parents and their peers benefited from the previous systems in place because then you were out of college and hired. Kenya was fresh- and her people were making a mark in the world having just attained independence.

But if there's one thing we forgot was that society is dynamic.

People can be complacent at work- but not when it comes to interaction- there's always new stuff and new events and then came the internet and technology has been on a roll! I have a friend who does IT (Information Systems) and he's always talking code! Always online and chatting with other students on Google+ (which I think is still way better than Facebook ) about new programs, new inputs and what's working and what's not. He says"IT never sleeps, it's worse than fashion- you women can have a style for a season- but in IT every time a new development is unveiled."

Society is that dynamic- hence the frustration. #TheGraduateDiaries got me thinking about so many things when it comes to education, and please let's wallow in our thoughts here:

What was your favorite subject in primary school?
What was your worst subject in high school?
Were you in any clubs or sports activity in high school?
Did you ever get punished in high school? (I am talking extreme punishment like digging the staff quarter's shamba, making school porridge, uprooting a tree stump when it's 33 degrees hot, wiping the dust of tree leaves, walking on gravel on your knees,cleaning a whole church with just one basin of water?) How many times did you get such punishments?
What did you learn out of your first 12 years of school experience?

Now, let's flip this and look at management:

Most parents and schools hold that education is the key to a better future- but have aims or motto's that contradict this.

What was your school's motto?

Most primary schools say "knowledge is power."

It is neither true nor false- but if this knowledge is streamlined and biased, such that it comes from one source and not another- then it is indeed power. This is in the case of teachers lecturing- them saying what they rehearsed from the textbooks to children- and not allowing the children to explore this new information; hence the teacher has power over the student. The power of locking their minds using their authority status. He/she is the teacher- and you are the student.

Knowledge is power unto the teacher- but not the student.

So, does this help? How can we remedy the education system?

Question is how much are you willing to do- and involve yourself in- when it comes to creating an environment that neither confines nor defines?

PS: Picture's from Google Pics.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Making Versus Sustaining a Living

2013-05-17T10:36:00.001+03:00

The free dictionary defines sustain as "to maintain, or to keep."

So, what's spurred this article today? Well, #TheGraduateDiaries and to answer some of the questions a few people have asked me about my writing- I figured why not get on with it?

So, in the last entry of the series I talked about some mysteries of adulthood and shared that most people have no idea of what career they want to pursue until they are well into their late twenties. I also asked if we could remedy the education system in Kenya.

Most professionals have been going on about changing the system- and it has raised some questions because whenever a "commission of inquiry" is set up in Kenya- nothing positive is ever delivered!

So- today I will fast forward to expenditure.

This is about those young Graduates (like me) who have a job- be it an entry level job or some opportunity that brings in cash at the end of a certain period.

So, how do you make do with the money you earn?

One of the greatest challenges the youth face regards employment is investment. Yes- employment and investment go together. It's like coffee and a good book for me. So, how come the two go together and what does all this mean?

If you are reading this and you or someone you know is earning say between 10,000 and 30,000- ask yourself how much of that money is saved?

If you earn 20,000 shillings every month- live in a house where your rent is 8,000; spend a monthly fare of 4,000; pay taxes worth say 1,000 (this is assuming you have no Government loan to repay e.g. HELB) ; food for a whole month at 2500; fuel at 1300, electricity at 1000, water bill 1000..... blah blah blah

And I have forgotten - the GTWF Bill (Good Times with Friends)- this is where most people spend money going out and drinking to pay day.

And when you sober up- you are broke and have 30 more days to another GTWF day!

Saving is important because when you set aside some money- you are guaranteed of meeting any emergencies that might arise- and if your contract ends you have something to fall back on as you look for something else.

Now-most young people live on "tomorrow is uncertain, we have now" -that they become reckless. #TheGraduateDiaries found out that some young people do make a living but their habits do not sustain that living such that though they are employed- they are still dependent on their parents and guardians-thus weighing down the minority of those who have established a long term career path- and this is not easily captured by statisticians.

How can this change?

Simply put- read the tiny print when opening a bank account- this is the part always titled "terms and conditions."

If a bank says your savings will earn 12% per annum- do the math, that means you earn only 1% per month- so if you save 1,000/= in January come the first day of February it will be 1,010/= and if you add another 1000/= it keeps going on up- with hopes of you say earning an interest of not more 700/=.

This amount of course varies with the bank and their monthly charges- ledgers fees and all that. So, seek a bank that does not have a very high monthly fee- and low ledgers fees- and if you want to withdraw money always use the ATM because it saves you 80/= and above if you'd have withdrawn over the counter.

It is good when you earn money for hard work done- but it is better when you not only live withing your means, but invest in yourself- this might mean you do not party hard and splash money- but that you constantly refine your skills and expertise say by attending workshops or training, or going back to school- but the fact that you set aside a quarter of your earnings every month- means that you are well into sustaining yourself.

Having taken this detour- next on we will get back to whether the education system can be changed, and if so how can this be achieved?

Anna

2013-05-10T12:00:00.001+03:00

Just uploaded a new short story on Smashwords and you can read it here

I walk down the aisle this Saturday. I am finally getting married and it feels as though the world has opened a can of ugly worms and thrown them in my face. I dated two brothers. I picked one over the other, but a part of me knows that something will never be the same between them. Now that I am going to be part of their family- it seems as though one is doomed to stay away from the other. I chose Robert over Richard. I chose him because he asked to be chosen. I think the truth doesn't matter, not to anyone else but me. My brother, Maxwell, thinks I am evil. He believes that I could have married anyone but Robert. He says it is like dumping the Prince only to marry his Father- it is an abomination. I believe Maxwell talks because his vocal chords function. He does not listen or believe in love. My name is Anna and this is my side of the story.

Richard

I met Richard one evening when I went to visit a friend. He did not say anything during the time I was around him. It was rather odd because his friend kept teasing him but Richard never flinched. I did not think much of him till the next time we met. He asked me out to lunch and I declined. It felt sleazy for a guy to ask "would you have lunch with me at my place?" He asked me out again three weeks later- and this time he said he would prepare me something delicious. I was broke, tired and looking at a fail in my exams, so I said "yes." He made me spaghetti and meat-balls and vegetable curry. It was divine. We started spending more time together after that. Richard was like my rock. He listened when I talked. He often asked me "what do you feel about this?" He would visit me at times without flowers or chocolate but shopping and food. Every few months he would select some of his favorite dishes, prepare and pack them in my fridge. For a university student, this was the best thing a boyfriend could do. He was enrolled too but he never told me what his major was. I tried so many times and he would simply laugh and say "the things they teach here could lock someone up." I never understood what he meant, but I did not want to come off as the nagging type and so I let him be. With time it became my mission to discover more about him. He never had friends. He never attended classes. He would leave his room at four in the evening and return the next morning at six. I had my friends look him up but everything they told me about him depressed me. It was as though there were many sides to him but only one that was known to me. Richard was like a rubric. I would flip him over trying to discover him but I would only complicate things. I remember asking him one time why he was so mysterious and he walked away. It was very stupid of me, but years later, it would become the one thing that was really honest about him. It is a pity that I discovered this too late. I heard from Richard when he felt he needed to say anything. My room mates would laugh saying I was the mistress, the one to be contacted when the master wanted a fix, and it hurt. It hurt because I knew Richard was loyal-but at the same time I could never really get past it. Our relationship worked on his terms. He would call or text or visit when he needed to. So I had this amazing boyfriend who showed up once every semester or worse off once every six months. It was a long distance relationship. He determined the distance and time- and with time I found myself despising him. In my third year of study things got worse. When he came I would ask him to leave. I remember when he came to visit on my birthday; Maxwell and a couple of friends were shocked at my behavior. I opened the door and he was standing there looking handsome and sweet with his flowers and wrapped gift. I asked him "what are you doing here?" He stepped back, then looked down and said "I came to wish you a happy birthday." I looked at him and something came over me "you have said it Richard, go."

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Childhood Dreams and Mysteries of Adulthood

2013-05-04T10:21:00.001+03:00

Welcome to part 3 of #TheGraduateDiaries

The last blog post was an introduction to childhood dreams , you know the one question being "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and you as a sweet innocent kid going...

Following on my research- I will have to say that we have put so much blame into the education system when it is not as flawed as we deem it.

Yes, I know any Kenyan who went through the 8-4-4 system has declared me dead by now- but it's the cold truth. It's like washing your face with ice cubes in Limuru!

But- that aside- is the education system wrong?

Yes.

Is it the sole reason for the increased unemployment rates amongst the youth today?

No.

Well, the system we have in place was enacted during the wake of an Industrial Revolution- where one needed to be experienced in a certain field. The Industrial Revolution was the age of experts. Now- we are in a social revolution, employers seek people who are well-rounded, ready to learn and flexible, yet the education system churns out graduates who have spent 4 years mastering one art- and not focusing as much on other areas in their life.

Communication skills are important- but we all know that it is only one course unit in the university. Here, Education cheats us that the best way to be successful is to become an expert in a narrow field.

Hence the frustration people, hence the damned frustration- but question is how can we remedy this?

Education is expensive but all parents raise their kids with "education is the key."

My Mom once told me that "education is key, but it is futile unless you are constantly learning, and Arch- learning is not doing your homework or giving the right answers in an exam, learning is making use of what you know to create something good- and have fun too."

She is still right.

Have you ever had a teacher walk into class and ask you "do you want to be here today and right now?"

Have you ever had a teacher ask you for your permission to hand down the knowledge that he/she has amassed over the years?

This is very rare because most teachers in public education believe that once a student is in class they have to listen to what he/she has to say- but more often than not students are tired, bored and they listen because they are forced to. So, how about engaging them in a discussion- telling them what you hope to share with them, and letting them decide on how they'd love to learn that- make it an engaging class. This works in some private schools- the students are involved in the learning process- if this process continues they engage more too.

But, as much as education locks people into careers- most people do not know what career path they want to pursue well into their late twenties! You know our career paths would not be so sketchy and hazy if we were excellent judges of our future interests and characters.

So we have great dreams as children- dreams that we do not protect first from ourselves and the reality of what is happening in the society. We then go through a grueling education system that instead of making us grow tough hides to brave through our ambitions leaves us disillusioned and complaining thus killing those dreams and burying them completely.

Can this change?

Can we change an education system to embrace the social revolution?

How can we achieve this- when for starters Teachers are still being trained using the same manuals and materials as produced in the 1960s? Does this mean that we change but stay constant?

Are we so held and enchanted by the past that we cannot accept the present and prepare for the next second?

You can read more on various insights into education and work online- but I loved reading these two:

How to Find Fulfilling Work by Roman Krznaric
The School of Life

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

When I Grow Up...I want to be a..... (insert a high profile career)

2013-04-30T18:28:00.001+03:00

So, welcome to part 2 of The Graduate Diaries: *"What would you like to be
when you grow up?"*

This is my all time favorite question and whenever I am with some young
ones (yes, younger than me) I ask them what their future ambitions are.

And it is beautiful to hear things like : Neurosurgeon, Political
Scientist, Architect, Lawyer, Doctor, Banker, Dentist, Judge, Business
Manager... and yes, nowadays in Kenya with the numerous strikes Teachers
have gone on- very few kids want to be Teachers. They do not want to slave
when they ought to be paid their wages. I wonder though if they have lost
focus on Medics because last I checked they have been on the streets
chanting *"haki yetu"* the same number of times Teachers have- I mean
doesn't three times in ten months count?

But- if you are reading this and are clearly above 20 years- answer this: *when
I was young I always wanted to be a -__________ when I grew up. Now that I
am growing and still learning, am I on the right track to be that?*
And if you fill in the blank and the second statement does not concur with
the first- well, congratulations you are grown up!

So what happened?
When I was growing up before class 3, I used to say I wanted to be a
Doctor. Then when I lost my Dad- I figured at times kids needed people to
listen to them and learned that there are special people like
Psychologists, Counselors who do just that and my Mom and Sister supported
me all through till I did get what I want. And when I look back at it- I am
grateful because I was never perfect in Science! I did ace my Sciences at
KCSE, but it was never good enough to get me a direct entry into the
university- talk of missing the cut off mark by one point!

But, our environment has a lot to do with our world view. Parents have a
lot more because they tell their children that they need an education to
get a job, make a living and all. They say education is the key. But if you
look at it, education has been more of a key while the schools have been
locks. Some school systems have locked creativity- demanding that pupils
think outside the box, then grading their work on their own perspective
thus limiting them within a box.

But, though this happens very few in Kenya have failed to study the Arts-
why do pupils who are in drama clubs deemed most popular? Why do students
engage in extra-curricular activities best as opposed to academia?

I will shed more light on these questions as we proceed- but the thing
about dreams is that some are realistic and others are squashed. If you
meet a young student who wants to be a neurosurgeon- tell them they
need to attain an average of A grade- that in doing so they would
secure a slot
in the public university to study this. They also need to ensure that their
parents are willing to cover their tuition and sustenance for 6 years, and
that when they graduate- they should consider applying for internship in
either Israel or India- because the best neurosurgeon undergraduate trainee
programmes are there- and they could work abroad because though Kenya needs
more neurosurgeons- the pay is little and what they will end up getting is
a quarter of their salary given that they will be paying off their student
loans.

Yeah- that's a mouthful of the facts, but one thing stays true- if you have
a dream you have every right to go after it. You have to work hard to
achieve it- and if you seem to fail, do not blame it on anyone because the
moment you start blaming you forget to appreciate yourself for the effort
you put into chasing that dream.

So you wanted to be a Doctor, but you are a sales marketer- big deal!
So you wanted to be an air hostess but you are a receptionist- big deal!

Big deal because you are doing something you did not expect but one way or
another- in your life you created room for it, so if you are a sales
marketer- be the best around, and save for extra studies to become a Doctor
if you want to.
Do not be complacent- get moving.

*PS: Who was ever told to read Think Big by Ben Carson?*

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Intro: The Graduate Diaries

2013-04-28T11:12:00.001+03:00

As promised, I will start this by saying there's a blog called "Diary of a Jobless Graduate" yes- and the last article was posted two years ago. I reckon the JG (Jobless Graduate) became a WD (Working Graduate).

But- if you do not have a job when you are of working age- and condition there is a term for you, something like "UNEMPLOYED."

I was reading up on Unemployment and according to the Free Dictionary: Unemployment or joblessness occurs when people are without work and actively seeking work.

According to the International Labour Organization (ILO) more than 197million people globally are out of work and 6% of the world workforce without a job as of 2012. That means 11,820,000 people all "unemployed." (Now I know why I was never good at Math- those are quite some zeros, and funny thing is they represent human beings and if it was 2012 between August and September then I was one of them!)

So,as I was doing some basic research on #The GraduateDiaries I got this book from the library, it was a report actually from the UN, with all these terms about employment. See, I thought that being unemployed just meant that you did not have a job but really needed one- but according to the report there are different kinds of unemployment.

See, just like people may have the same problem but the degree varies- well, guess the same applies to unemployment.

But first, according to Youth Banner 64% of the Kenyan population are the Kenyan Youth. In this case the youth range between 18yrs-35yrs. Some of the major causes according to Youth Banner of unemployment include:

rural to urban migration (kila mtu kwenda Nai after form four na kufalashtuka!)
school drop out cases
high expectations from employers (yeah- an employer asking for 10 years experience and stating that the person should be between 24 and 35 years old)
education system does not encourage people to have entrepreneurial minds (well, I beg to differ ask yourself how many people in Kenya are either studying Business Administration or IT- seems like everyone wants to make money by spending so much of it learning of how people made it instead of taking time to try and make it. FYI: I have very little qualms with the education system)

But who knew there would be types of unemployment?

I mean aren't the 11, 820,000 people still jobless?

So, thanks to ILO, UN, and Researchers the different type of unemployment are:

Cyclical or Keynesian: this occurs when there is not enough aggregate demand in the economy to provide jobs for everyone who wants to work.
Frictional (I love this one :-) : it means one is in between jobs (as in you are a job seeker)
Structural: this is where the labor market is unable to get everyone a job because of mismatch of skills and job requirements.

There are other types of unemployment like seasonal, hardcore, hidden (these are the ones researchers are not able to factor in during statistics or census or during data collection). But the greatest one that affects Sub-Saharan Africa is Number 3: Structural unemployment.

This is because Humanities and Social Sciences (my specialty) makes up 53% of the graduates- and this was between 2008 and 2010, by the end of 2012 this number had risen to 64%. (Courtesy of OECD- Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development.)

Society is dynamic and now we are moving more towards technology and though there is still need for the Humanities, especially in addressing social challenges and issues, we need more hands-on, more tech-experience to create a balance.

In reading all this, one can only ask- what does this mean?

What impact does all this information have on my life and what if I am part of the 64% that's unemployed in Kenya- am I doing something wrong- if so what can I do to make things right? How can I?

Well, stick around- because part two is my favorite- it is about childhood dreams :-)

Image Ref: www.mid-day.com

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

The Golden Rule

2013-04-27T09:26:00.001+03:00

"It is good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it is
good too to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't
lost the things that money can't buy."
-George Horace

Have you ever heard of the Golden Rule?
"Treat others as you'd love to be treated."
Well, now you have- and what do you make of it? Is it something simple
or is it something that is very difficult like "forgive and forget?"
So, I was up at 5am today and I decided to read some novels and finish
them up before getting out of bed. I stepped onto the cold floor at
8:04am because believe it or not- today is my day of rest. Yes, I mean
today I take a break from all house chores as my younger sister gets
to help around. It felt really good because working around the house
from Monday to Friday is not easy- especially when you have to report
to work then come home and tend to people (kudos to all the hard
working and domesticated mothers out there!)

You know, it is very hard being nice to someone who is nothing but
mean. It is like being politically correct- you put on a face and an
act for the sake of something that you are after. It is not easy being
courteous when someone is very rude and disrespectful- but a friend
just told me yesterday- "do not take everything to heart Dora, you'll
die young!"
I know I have talked of the Four Agreements and one of them is "Do not
take things personally."
It is very easy to achieve this and I had to try it on a mean
acquaintance. He did not seem to want to help with the research
analysis or even let me use the office computer to see if the program
set of questionnaires I developed would work. To make it worse when I
was asked to download applications on the phones for field officers-
he literally walked out to lunch with the keys to the store room. So
when he came back (an hour later) I was reading my book and listening
to Gavin DeGraw's album (Sweeter). He walked past me and went back to
work. I stayed there till 3pm. He came to yell at me at half past
three saying I was wasting office time and there was a lot to be done.
I smiled at him and thanked him for the advice. He asked "what
advice?" I told him "you say I am wasting office time, yet you have
done everything to ensure that I cannot do my job, so thank you and
seeing that I leave the office at 4pm, you will have to do what I was
scheduled to do, in fact the Coordinator told me to tell you to see
him when you get back."
He stomped off and I continued listening to my music till 4pm. He was
doing my work as I was leaving- and cursing away because he could not
read through the program codes, but I learned something valuable from
him- if you take up the role of being a stumbling block to others, you
not only block their path, but you leave yours wide open such that any
opportunity speeds away from you.
Treat people as you would like to be treated. It does not mean that
everyone will be nice, in fact people might be twice as bad, but as
long as you are never the one to cause someone pain intentionally- or
make their life harder, you have nothing to be worried about.

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Graduate Diaries

2013-04-26T07:36:00.001+03:00

It feels great to graduate from uni- and simply have a piece of paper
as proof of four years of intensive work- but something else makes you
wonder, what makes you special?
I am not talking about Honors, or having been the drunk who by God's
grace finally made it to his/her final exam and submitted a well
copy-pasted research project that earned a pass. I am talking about
what makes you stand out of the thousands who graduate with you?
It has nothing to do with your program or degree course but more to do
with your grit and what you envision for yourself.
See, I talked earlier on the "Half empty, Half Full' post about
writing a short ebook on what it means to be unemployed, or working
and just how hard people do work here in Kenya- and how very few if
not most never get to save the money they earn because they either
spend it on impulse or live beyond their means.
I had time to ask some organizations questions and I have to analyze
the data before I share it with you- but the one thing I thought of
adding into the book is "Bathroom talk."
Yes, ladies know all about this. If you are out on a date, you always
get to ask to use the bathroom for two main reasons: one is to freshen
up and two is so the guy can watch you walk away and walk back to him-
it's more like letting him see what you have to offer- and a man who
compliments you as you return is a keeper (even for a short while).
But, when you are in the bathroom- it is the one place you can share
fashion and style tips without having to dash home to watch the E
channel or TSN!
So for "The Graduate Diaries" I will focus on bathroom talk- as what
HR have to say on the hiring and firing processes of organizations.
This is qualify as bathroom talk because most of what I was told is
unorthodox and discriminating that it makes one wonder if
organizations really have systems that ensure they hire the right
candidates for the job- not people who simply portray the
qualifications but who also have something extra to bring to the job.
So, we'll get started this weekend and I will share bits and pieces of
the story with you through Jodie- I hope you stick around and share
some of what you have experienced and learned too.

--
How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Unplugged

2013-04-22T14:16:00.001+03:00

"If all seeds that fall were to grow, the no one could follow the path
under trees."

I woke up at 5am today.
I felt so good that I listened to "Tales of Flying and Falling" by Ben
Montague (tweet him @ben_montague) . When I was done, I gathered
enough strength to clean the house, do laundry and get breakfast
ready.
But today this post is all about being unplugged! It is my vain
attempt to get a message across an audience that already knows bits
and pieces about my life-and would most definitely not influence it
unless I perceive their thoughts and actions as doing just that.

In other words- I will tell you about what's been on my mind lately-
and that is getting things done!
I have pending projects that I want to leave in that situation because
my mind is doing cartwheels when it should be doing breast strokes or
butterfly moves.

Have you ever liked someone so much and with time you realized that
you only liked hanging out with them and you have nothing you would be
willing to develop into a relationship?
Well, it has happened to me in my (lifetime) four times!
Those are four very special guys that I would donate my kidney if they
were ever in need of one and I was a match! But, forgive me for
leaving out one guy- one very special guy, who I could talk to for
hours and feel as though my best friend is listening and would never
abandon me no matter how stupid I get.
But Grace (who is delightfully engaged to Bruce) has been practising
her Dr. Phil lessons on me and we had an Oprah session- I dare say we
owned it!
She asked me if I did see myself getting married in the future. I told
her definitely- but if time were to be involved it would take a while,
because I am at this reckless phase in my life where I love traveling,
adventure and most of all just spending time with me. She asked if I
would consider dating any guy at the moment. The answer was hell to
the no- why? I told her I would keep the answer to myself because I
wanted to.

But, she said something unexpected "I like Bruce, we get along fine,
but at the moment I feel as though I would rather just date him and
not get married to him, at times I think I am worse than you, at least
you could stay single your whole life-adopt a cute kid, date some guys
and you would still be happy- for me it is different."

Our talk went further and we came to no conclusion- and that means
another day maybe- just maybe we could understand each other- and she
would stop trying to hook me up with any guy.
You know, I keep saying we are all unique.
And just like seeds that fall off a tree, some sprout the moment they
hit the ground, others are blown away by the wind, others are carried
to a different place by animals or human feet, others sink into the
ground but never sprout, some that sprout die- but all had one origin.

So, being unplugged is quite right.
I like being able to do just as I desire to. I also like it when what
I do and say shows that I am responsible and accountable to my family.
So for what it's worth, maybe I should listen to Jason Chen's "Never
For Nothing" album tomorrow at 5am!
--
How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

5am Club!

2013-04-21T10:55:00.001+03:00

I joined the 5am club!

You know- for the past one week I have been making follow-up calls to respondents-and this is where I am extremely grateful to my employer- because she only wants to get the job done and we get to be as comfortable as we choose-so it has been a pyajama week!

I woke up as early as 7am.

And this has to change.

I moved from 6am to 7am- and so I decided to join the 5am club!

The 5am club is open to anyone, has no restrictions- except for one requirement and that means you need to be up at 5am, not 5:01 or 5:02, and now that I joined- my day one seems to be quite interesting!

I was awake by 5am, but too reluctant to get out of bed-which means that for this coming week my life will take a dramatic change because I have to discipline myself- and going by past records, that is a great challenge!

So, I will definitely update you on what goes on-but for the time being, this girl has to read some blogs online-given that today is #ReadBlogsDay

S-o-r-r-y

2013-04-18T08:59:00.001+03:00

"I am sorry."

"I am sorry, I did not mean to hurt you."

"I am sorry, please forgive me."

"Sorry."

Have you ever been disappointed by someone so many times such that every time they say "sorry" it is more of a word to them but a duty to you?

I will bring to your attention a song titled "I Hate Sorry" by Jason Chen . It is off his album "Never for Nothing" which was released this April on the 15th.

It's about being hurt by the same person so many times- forgiving them till you become tired of hearing the word "sorry."

I have also heard of people saying "sorry is such a sorry word."

But, isn't it what such a word asks of us that is most important?

I will admit that I do not forgive easily. I have the uncanny ability to remember the time, place and moment when someone offended me- even 5 years later on. But, something about letting go is never easy.

It is never easy for starters because whenever people say or do things we get personal- we are affected by it so much and it makes us question why they would do such a thing. You know, there is never a moment in time where we would find the person who will never say "sorry."

They may not say it to people but to themselves.

If you ever doubted the power of words, how about sorry?

The moment someone tells you "sorry" you have this battle inside you to forgive and overlook what they did. They utter a word and you have the duty of letting go- which like I've said is an uphill battle.

But, there is something I felt when a friend apologized for having hurt my feelings- and it was like I spaced out. I was numb not to her but to the world. I felt like everything around me was stuck as I was floating. I told her "Thanks." I have never regarded her the same, and in a way- I forgive myself for having allowed her to hurt me so many times, as for her- our mutual friend Grace, tells me that what I did was not Christian of me. She still insists that I should treat her like I did before, that's the true kind of forgiveness.

Grace is right based on how she views and relates to her interpretation of Christian Values. She can forgive easily and move on when people offend her, but there is something else she knows about me- she knows that whatever I set my mind to, I will do it- even if she throws the Bible at me. But there is something I have come to accept, people make mistakes and people have chances. The world has so much to offer that it does not revolve around a few people.

If you get one chance to make things right- give it your best shot, your best might not be someone's best- but give it your all such that when that chance is lost, you had your moments and you'll get to cherish those.

At times people just want to hear "sorry" at times they do not.

If you constantly offend or hurt other people- then "sorry" becomes just another word, it hurts them more to hear you say it.

The World of Books

2013-04-16T14:59:00.001+03:00

Bill asked me today "why do you love books so much?"

I asked him "have you read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury? He smiled. I realized that I had presented him not only with the answer but the perfect answer.

So, if you have a friend or relative who loves reading books and enjoys what they offer- then never ask why they love reading.

Sometimes when people ask questions like "who supports reading?"

I would answer- books! But books are written by people. People who get to use words not only to make meaning but create a world where meaning is relative- what you understand from a book is simply not what I would understand because of our different experiences.

It's no wonder Literature in high school is so dull!

It even gets worse when you teacher believes more in a guidebook that exploring the world of the written word!

If there is something I have learned from books, is to never stop creating.

I came across this great piece of art, by Caroline and decided to share it with you- check out her page carolinexpaige for more awesome pieces.

The Single Diaries is out now!

2013-04-15T10:42:00.001+03:00

Download a free copy of "The Single Diaries" by clicking this link

Have a lovely week and enjoy the read!

The Single Diaries...Coming Soon

2013-04-12T19:35:00.001+03:00

Dear Diary,

I am single! Yes, single as in not dating any guy and thinking to myself why does it matter? What is the sudden fuss about being in a relationship? I am twenty seven years old- that's why! Do not get me started on why I am still here and not baking something. I was walking to lunch when I ran into Domtilla, do you remember her? The annoying girl in high school who was pretty and had boyfriends from every boy and even mixed schools in the province! Yes, the one and only generous beauty. She hugged me like we were friends- then I realized that she was chubby and sweet. Domtilla has never been chubby or sweet. So, when she asked me how I was, I almost screamed for help. This is Nairobi- when you scream you are attacked not helped! We still yearn for some mob justice once in a while. So, she is pregnant. Domtilla is having some poor guy's baby and she is flaunting her bump like she is Beyonce. I gave her my inactive Airtel number and walked into a supermarket to get yoghurt. See, I am not jealous of her, I am envious. She does not have family asking her when she will get married or have a child, not like I do anyway. You know I hear the men at the office talk about the pressure of being told to "man up" and think they are lucky! Would I like to be a man, even for a minute? No. I do not want my appendage hanging out of my body like a tap. Hey, not that it's wrong- I guess I am just used to being a woman; curves, cycles, hair, breasts, hips and of course the capital "M"- mood swings! And that could be the reason why I am single, or not. So, before I get ahead of myself I will have to tell you some things about what it means to be single.

Xoxo, Single Lady.

Fwd: Half Full and other stories

2013-04-10T18:45:00.001+03:00

So the glass is half full, half empty depending on what you choose to see.

But- I have this project that is pending and driving me insane- if not just a little bit!

I have always wanted to write a book on what my life as a Graduate has been like.

With time- I have been engrossed in various activities that I simply pushed it to the bottom of my priorities list (I do have like tonnes of them)- so with a little help from my past interview- I decided to focus on the lies Interviewers tell you:

"Thank you for coming, we will get in touch with you in a week about our decision."

Bingo! They NEVER call.

Why? It is expensive to call up candidates you have not hired.

It is also time consuming ( a waste of 60 seconds) to write an email and send to all those unsuccessful candidates.

I was sending my current employer my work for the day- when I decided to check my sent mail- and you would not believe me if I told you that since graduating from the University (with Honors :-) ) last Summer- I have sent my applications to fifteen organizations.

Lucy, a good friend, has sent to over forty and she is already depressed- she needs a better paying job to meet her Wardrobe demands.

So, there is so much going on right now about The World We Want 2015- and youth unemployment is soaring in most countries with very many asking what could be done to solve this problem. Then, there's the President's 100 Day Agenda- saying he would allocate the run-off funds- Ksh. 6 Billion towards Women and Youth Fund to increase employment- I hope this comes to pass too.

But, if there is one thing I am grateful for and Lord help me if my Mom is reading this- is that those organizations never chose me.

Okay- allow me to explain- I am Me, everyone else is taken- and if it means trying to fit some structured profile then I am too hot-headed to do that- maybe that's why I love research and field work- out there, it is your personality and ability to think on your feet that sees you through.

So, I have come to understand that if I get shortlisted for an interview- I attend it, show the interviewers the real "happy go lucky" me- and then wait for a week- and email them to thank them so much for their time and wish them well.

And about that book...well, how about you get on my case a little bit and give me 2 weeks to deliver on it?

I sampled some things you can read online:
60 Tips for a Stunningly Great Life
15 ways to do your best work
World We Want

If you Love Someone, Tell them

2013-04-08T20:45:00.001+03:00

If you love someone, tell them.

Do not wait- simply do tell them. This might be hard at times especially for parents who seem overbearing or a constant pain but if they are your parents and you feel even a speck of love, never forget to tell them.

I have had quite the day and an experience that has prompted me to write this- and for my friend, losing his Father this past week made him realize that the man did so much to set him on the right path and he was never grateful. He felt his Father was always unfair for punishing him- and letting him live and fend for himself at a tender age. He got a steady job, and now takes care of himself and can even spare some to treat his Mom and siblings- and he just learned that his Father taught him how to stand on his own two feet- not because he was punishing him but because he was teaching him the greatest lesson a Father could teach his Son- and that is how to be his own Man.

See, I have often heard people say that "it's not enough to tell, show!"

But, I beg to differ at the moment with that- it is better not only to show but to tell them- for in words come conviction.

I will use my friend's simple analogy- A woman can never know if a man is serious about her until that time he asks "will you marry me?"

What's the worst that could happen?

I mean, maybe then they will laugh or worse off not believe you and if it someone you hope to court- they might reject you- so what?

It is way better that pinning for their love and always wondering what might have been.

So, be bold and get moving and start telling.

Let it be told when you can- and while you are it- check out this video En Cambio No- Laura Pausini

--
How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

BulletProof

2013-04-05T20:01:00.001+03:00

I do not want to think anymore.

I apologize for the grammatical mistakes, and the shrieks and outbursts that you are about to endure in this post. Let's start from the beginning- what do you say to your friend who's heart is breaking so bad you can see them falling apart?

What do you do when upon seeing them in that state- memories of your own heartbreaks overcome you?

I'm done with the questions- because I learned that no one is bulletproof especially guys!

There's so much talk about Guys always breaking girls hearts- but today I had the case of the Girl shattering the guy's heart and I am afraid he will get into a string of flings and floozies.

I could feel him fall apart over the phone and before I stayed on his side- I was dumb enough to ask if he asked her why she cheated- and he said that the only response he got was "I don't know what came over me."

But, see the heart for an organ who vital duties we know- it's metaphorical duties are the best!

I mean haven't you heard "the heart wants what it wants?"

And what of "straight from the heart?"

It is such a small pumping valve infested organ- yet it's other duties affect us most- so when things got so tough- that he couldn't breathe without cursing- he simply told me "I am going out for drinks tonight, and do not tell me I cannot."

In response I uttered "Do what you have to do."

So, maybe he's out drinking his pain away-and talking to his guy pals- because Lord knows he needs them, all I know is that the pain will be there when he sobers up. It will always be there because he gave his time and shared so much with her-that he cannot do away with the memories. So, the only thing that I know for sure is he will be okay, and if you ask me when that will happen- I will tell you only time and him can tell.

Take a Seat

2013-04-01T11:28:00.001+03:00

I started writing- three days ago.

There's this story my friend pushed me to write- she had written it in Spanish and shared the story with me while on campus. At the beginning of this year- she asked me if I would do a Kenyan version of it. She asked me if I could come up with a twist of her story- and just when I thought I could not- I started writing and I am considering making it a full length novel.

Here's my story:

People never think much about 'us' chairs. I mean, you buy us, sit on us, move us when you change houses-share us, step on us and all the while it has never crossed your mind to be good to us. I guess that is just our life. It is fate. Fate is cruel for she gives you what you deserve. But for once, listen to what I am about to tell you. Forget that I am a red leather chair. I have lived for thirty years thanks to Michael. He came home one night, sat on me and talked about her. He called her name seven times-and before I could respond he was gone. They took him away from me at dawn. His wife-Nancy couldn't breathe immediately after. His sons came home that evening and talked about him. The name he called-that's what I want to tell you about. I want to tell you why she left home. I will have to tell you about Michael and his family too. So please take a seat, or pull a chair and listen.

June 4, 1962.

I always knew I would be a chair.

I did not know which kind-but I had the feeling people would sit on me for the rest of my life. I was seated basking in the sun when he walked in. He had a huge afro, brown patched trousers that barely scraped his ankles and an old silver Seiko watch. I was taking in the view of the town and hoping someone would take me home. His eyes, like everybody else, settled on Matiwa. Yes, even chairs have names. If you look up any directory you will learn that there are over one hundred and twenty four types of chairs. There are those made of either hard wood or soft wood. Now, the most common hardwood in Africa is Mahogany. It is the best and most expensive. Very few Carpenters get the privilege of working with this kind of wood. When they do, the finished product is always most expensive. Allow me to tell you about our names. Every Creator gives his product a name. It doesn't have to be fancy, but just a right name for the product. Writers name books, painters name their paintings, musicians their songs and hence Carpenters their products. Matiwa is named after the owner. First rule of naming a product always is, you give it some connection to its source. All chairs made by Otiwa get a name. Otiwa is the man who created me. So, since he made Matiwa using Mahogany-he gave him the first two letters to symbolize that affection. At this point you are probably wondering what my name is. Truth is, I don't know and I never want to. It wouldn't change the fact that I have been sat on all my life. When Michael walked in his eyes landed on Matiwa-just like all the other customers. He changed his mind when he heard the price. He walked around the shed for a while before settling on me. When I saw him, his thin dull face had this promising look. I knew he would be kind to me. See, the thing about humans is that they are visual. I have heard the women who come here complain that men go with what they see. But, with chairs-it's not what you see but the skill that matters. See, a well crafted chair will be bought. But Matiwa was not just crafted-he was designed. He had a purpose that spoke of comfort, style and elegance. You would look at him and think that he could earn you prestige amongst your peers. A crafted chair has raw talent and blessings from his master. Every joint is in place and it fits just fine. It is one of those items you see at a show and immediately picture yourself seated on it- alone, reading a book or listening to music. If you stare at a chair and picture you with your friends having fun-then it isn't well crafted. It is not because you had to picture yourself enjoying it with others. A designed chair on the other hand serves a purpose. I hear that humans call it ergonomics. It's where a chair is made to fulfill a purpose. Out of those one hundred and twenty four types I have told you about, most of them are products of ergonomics. They sprang about because humans forgot what it was like to care for things. People just figured they needed things they could use. They never did the Math-and now you end up having a battle of the chairs in your house every time you go to bed. Yes, chairs do argue! We argue so loud that even the silent night cannot hear us. What do you expect when you have a couch, dining chair, lounge chair, patio chair, high chair, desk-chair in the house? It's a battle that never ends. Take it from me. Michael took me home with him that afternoon. He emptied his pockets to have me. He then had me placed on a cart and was carried all the way to a pigeon-hole house. I heard him say "welcome home, this is just the beginning." I never believed him. It was 1940; Kenya was not what it is now. He had dark skin, impeccable English and a picture of Queen Elizabeth hanging on his wall. I didn't know what to tell him-but when I looked around that room, I only saw one small window to my left. It was high up on the wall. If you haven't added things up, let me tell you-I was the only piece of furniture in Michael's room.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Take Breaks- don't Break Stuff

2013-03-28T18:29:00.001+03:00

By now you all know how I like to walk away from any confrontation!

In fact when I am mad- and feel my temper getting the better of me- I walk away so fast, you can barely catch up.

I have done that to a couple of people (I am sorry, I guess now you know)

Being a bottler (of feelings) well, I have also cut off communication from people, because I know that talking to them would not help much.

So, have you ever gotten into a huge fight?

I am talking the kind where- you are so mad, your voice goes towards 100 Decibels!

I think I was- or rather I was caught in the middle of things.

That's what happens when you have time for people- you get caught in the middle of things!

So, remember this well, she did call me!

I thought the Cold war was over- only to walk into a Deafening War!

So, here it goes- my friend did make a mess of things- and the Guy's girlfriend decided to call her up on it- and the result (two women yelling at each other and anyone who cares to stop and stare).

So, how did I get caught in the middle?

I get a call- by our mutual friend. I show up an hour later- and there's chaos. Chaos gets better because the Guy's Girl happens to be some girl we attended Sunday school and Teen's class with- so shock of my life! Now, my friend-gives me the "betrayer look" and I stand there as they yell their fears and frustrations away. There was this vase by the window- and I kept staring at it hoping I could smash it to make them keep quiet.

When they did- I said "you will sort your own issues in your own way, at your own time, and next time don't call me when it's something you brought on yourselves."

I was mad.

I could feel the anger.

You know- I just felt like killing them! Two beautiful, educated and talented women- yelling at each other over a Guy. One is the Guy's girlfriend and the other is interested.

The Guy was somewhere working or hoping to have some time to relax after a long day at work- and the girls were wasting my time by calling me to witness a verbal and tonal fight!

Of which it was too loud to declare a winner.

But as I left that place- I realized two things:

I do not need my toxic friend- yes it's high time I saw it- too much drama and it is more like Queen up in here-with her expecting things to go her way. Though Beautiful and intelligent, I need a break- the longest one from her- for it's too much to give and not have the strength to give unto others too.
My anger is a raging volcano that has to be worked on. It will be worked on.

So, the next time you are raving mad- and pissed off- take breaks in between your verbal bouts (it's good to breathe when you vent :-) ) and do not break stuff, not brittle things, or ceramics, and most of all know that in moments of anger and frustration you can say things that you will never take back that break the very same relationships you value.

How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Emotional RollerCoaster

2013-03-26T11:18:00.001+03:00

No, I won't talk about the song

and it's not "just an emotional rollercoaster" but a whirlwind of uncertainty that has left me stumped!

So, let's take a moment and get to the story.

I have a friend. Well, at the moment I am on suspension until I am proven worthy of her attention (which is very fine by me) - so we are at the "frenemy" phase. This is the phase where the person you once deemed your friend did something that only an enemy would do, but since you know them and still care you are still willing to breathe the same air as them. It's the female version of the Cold War, only difference is that, it is taking place in the 21st Century and this Coldness is extended to:

Being blocked on Facebook
Being unfollowed on Twitter
Deleting their numbers from your phonebook
Not, hanging out with your frenemy at all, and your mutual friends have to stop talking about your frenemy in your presence.

So, well- my friend did obsess about a Guy so much that all she could eat, breathe and sleep was him. So, when I did tell her that the Guy she is into has a girlfriend- she yelled at me so much, I thought the whole of MegaPlaza in Kisumu declared me a witch. I watched her stomp off in heels (which was a very beautiful sight, because now I believe that those actresses in movies really do get their freak on when they stomp off in heels!)

She has not been talking to me, and I learned that I failed the "Chameleon Training Test."

Girls start doing this at the tender age of five. You know it happens when girls bond and share their emotions and feelings- you are taught or modeled to tune into someone's feelings, and when you don't you always say "I know the feeling, I have been there myself" or "I understand how you feel, but you will get through this, we will help" - and then the stories start trickling in.

So, I was honest and too blunt- and she did not take it well.

I failed in delivering "bad news."

But it came more like an alarm to me: I respect relationships because I have had the best experience with people who butt in and soon we are not a couple but "A COUPLE" of girls and one guy- such that two increases to three or four, and the gender balance is off scale.

Talk of moving from 1:1 to 1:3

So, to have my friend obsess about this guy and go after him when he's clearly with another girl whom he's actually living with and his boys know he is into- was her wasting her time and personality. I told her and wham! she nucleared me!

So, for all it is worth I learned two lessons:

The truth is Ugly because the Lie is always wearing make-up takes our breath away
Tell the truth and be free of a guilty conscience.

Eight Decades and Two Years.

2013-03-23T12:58:00.001+03:00

"If you take a long enough view, you will see that society is in fact adjusting-because life must go on, no matter what we say, no matter how many people suffer or how many people are killed, life does go on."

-Chinua Achebe, 1972, in an interview by Robert Serumaga.

Chinua Achebe once said about Queen Victoria "we have one thing in common with her- we both lost our Albert's."

If you are reading this, then you know that Chinua passed on- you can read all about it here, but I don't want to talk about his life and works. I don't want to sit here and type something that is structured because I am not structured at the moment. I haven't been ever since a friend tweeted me yesterday at 1:37 pm @totokwar : @herhar he's dead hunny :-(

I rushed into the nearest Cyber Cafe to confirm this and since then my head has been spinning so fast I can barely think straight- but like he said, "life goes on." It has to. So, what do I know about Achebe:

He has written and successfully published 5 novels, 8 short stories, over 6 poem collections, and numerous essays and criticisms. He has won prestigious awards all except for the Nobel Prize in Literature (and this I have major beef with!)

The Nobel Laureates in Africa so far are:

Wole Soyinka- from Nigeria who won the award in 1986 (the same year my elder Sister was born )
Naguib Mahfouz - from Egypt who won the award in 1988 (the same year I was born)
Nadine Gordimer-from South Africa who won the ward in 1991
J.M. Coetzee from South Africa who won the award in 2003.

It is my hope and uttermost prayer that despite his most wonderful works that have not only given an insight into African Culture, Politics, Socialization he would not be awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature. Crazy right? Well, this is my take and I am being very personal- consider yourself warned for what's to come in the next paragraph.

Achebe has seen eight decades and two years go by- in that time he has written Masterpieces and been accorded prestigious awards and given interviews and lectures that show how much he is himself an observer and a valuer (forgive the term) of the truth- this even saw him refuse an offer from 50 Cent to use the title of his first book -Things Fall Apart for his movie- so all this time if the Swedish Academy did not feel his works merited an award- then they should not award him now that he's dead. They had over fifty years to do so- but they didn't so, I do hope that they would not- because though it might keep his memory alive- and see to the many sales of his books and worldwide distribution- it would not be an honor as it would have been if they handed it to him in person- and he got to thank them or better yet criticize their method of selection.

But, I am not Achebe.

I am just a girl who is inspired not only by his writing but by his conviction that Africa has not only been plundered by Colonialism but worse off by her Children. It's been over forty years of Independence for this country-Kenya- yet we still have politicians elected into power who believe they need to earn more than half a million shillings before they are sworn into office. We still have hospitals that lack cheap pain killers like Panadol because the Ministry of Health does not have supplies available.

It is also sad that we still have people who believe that "huyo ni mtu wetu" yet the person they are so proud of only shares an understanding of the same language and customs as them- but does not sleep, eat, bathe, or clothe in their homes- and hands them a five hundred shilling note and they praise him- yet he knows he would get a hundred times more-if he fools them just during a campaign period.

It is sad that we still say "we have bad leaders" instead of admitting that "we have bad followers." Why would you believe in someone whose greed supersedes his thought? Why would you want someone who cannot communicate to be a Speaker, an Orator? Does he/she have an Aaron somewhere assigned as his/her mouthpiece? Why have charges of crimes against humanity overlooked? Achebe used his writing to show us what kind of society we live in- Ngugi has been doing the same-and I was looking into his History and found it very ironical that Mau Mau and other fighters fought for freedom-for Kenya's Independence-they were imprisoned. Then when Jomo Kenyatta came into power he imprisoned Kariuki-the last of the respectable Mau Mau fighters for his presumed dissenting views-the same happened to Ngugi. No why would you imprison your comrades for staying true to the cause of your fight?

Is this just politics and power or bad leadership?

And Achebe kept saying that Africans have a majority of powerful people who think only of themselves and not the Continent-and thus Africa would still be poor and less developed.

I had the privilege of attending a Literature class by not only his fan, but a student of Achebe, Ngugi and Soyinka- and Professor Mikhail Gromov made me understand how to read and understand not only what is written, but what is said in silence. Through this class I got to subscribe to and attend all of Achebe's lecture podcasts- and he did not teach only what he knew- but delved into what he did not know- every lecture felt like a philosophical moment- where you have everything but nothing- where you know yet you do not know-where everything is around you but only if you choose to be aware of it.

So, whatever the world says of him- all the praises, the critisms, one thing is clear- he lived his life. He did live his life.

And I am glad to have had the chance to know about him in his eight decades and two years of existence.

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

People Pleaser

2013-03-21T13:19:00.001+03:00

Pleasing people is a full time job- I mean you work 24/7 and just when you think you can take a break- there's those mutual friends on facebook those who sub-tweet just to get your attention on twitter and do not get me started on those who exist in your phone book!

You know the 21st Century is just awesome!

The world has become a small village!

Every body knows about somebody who lives in another continent- I mean if you don't know anything -why waste time going to a library, or asking around- just ask Google and if what you are looking for is not in the first page- then you have over a thousand pages to look up, right?

But all this has to mean something right?

You have your parents, friends and relatives- and the awesome person who you hope to make a couple with.

So- all these people expect you to do what is right.

They expect you also to just "be happy" and live your life- and you know be somebody in the society. But how often has this been challenged?

You see- what is right or wrong is relative.

The way you see the world is not the same way your brother or sister sees the world-yet you have been brought up by the same parents and provided with basic needs.

You know whoever said that everyone is unique was spot on! You have your DNA, fingerprints, palm print and your temperament.

So when you live your life by somebody else's standards you will realize one day that you stooped so low and short-changed yourself- and woe unto you is it comes at the age of 40! Everyone else would call it a mid-life crisis when it is nothing but an awakening.

Being a People Pleaser- is tough- it is like a tethered goat who has to eat the grass and shrubs around a circumference because if it goes too far then it's choked, and if it stays too near to the pole then it feels confined.

I have had the opportunity of talking to a long time friend-and seeing him happy just made me realize that he has hope. He just dumped his girlfriend of five years, he's moved out of his Father's house, he got fired from his Father's company, he now works as a Front Office Manager at a Hotel here in Kisumu. His pay is enough to sustain him for a while- but he is glad that for once he is doing something by himself- not as commanded by his parents or his very manipulative girlfriend.

So, and you- maybe you are reading this and wondering what I am going on about.

Maybe you understood me from the beginning- all the same, you live your life. You have a responsibility to see that your actions do not cause serious harm to others- just like they do.

You also have the right to listen to what people say and the right Not to implement everything you are told- even when your conscience and intuition tell you it is wrong.

You have freedom of speech and freedom of silence and reflection.

You have freedom of expression and freedom of understanding.

You have the right to walk out on toxic relationships and the right to build healthy relationships.

You have the right to admit that someone or something hurt you and the right not to let it happen again.

You have the right to ignore, assume, condemn knowing that other people will also practice this right on you.

You have the right NOT to be a People Pleaser- but to live your life, follow your sense of calling and hope and pray to God for the guidance to fulfill your purpose.

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

What to do, What to do, What to do...

2013-03-17T13:12:00.001+03:00

I did not mean to have it on replay (well, maybe I did)- but do you have the same feeling when you are bored?

I learned something while watching my 3 year old nephew-that kid never gets bored! I mean, we could watch the television or be doing house chores- but he's forever playing if not with his toys, then with his very (and I mean very) immobile bicycle.

So, when I hear people say "I am bored" I figured before I would immediately say "I know the feeling." But now, I say "really?"

I mean- I discovered the world of books, music and writing and of late I have been practising my ASL (American Sign Language)- and my Korean and Chinese characters while also doing some writing for a Democracy Project. So-that said, I reckon I cannot get bored not unless I am not motivated to do anything.

And that's exactly what boredom is. It's the absence of motivation to engage in anything- and imagine just how awful that is!

So while we are at it, never say you are bored when your mind can engage you in some wordplay, reading, basic algebra-or a movie or music. Never say you are bored for as long as you can will yourself to engage in an activity.

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?

Take a Break

2013-03-12T22:08:00.001+03:00

"The way you are going, you seriously need to take a break!"

This came from my friend Nancy-and I couldn't help but disagree with her because some unorthodox part of me sees her going to work from 8am to 5pm six days in a week-and not getting an ounce of sleep when she wants to.

She also reminded me that- one can waste away a whole day-if she is not motivated. (Maybe that's why she texts me a lot)

Have you ever wanted to take a break?

I mean, just to put whatever you love doing on pause? See, I am going to focus on things you are good at- this is because when it comes to say taking a break from the negative stuff and people-I believe you can pull out of that because you do have a breaking point. So, focus...I am talking about taking time and attention off something you love.

For the past two months a huge part of me thought I was taking a break from Writing.

I was wrong, dead wrong!

I have been scribbling here and there- just not sticking to one story flow-and maybe that's why I have been fooling myself.

I went into our bedroom today-and did some stock taking.

In the past week, I have bought:

three writing pads
six blue pens
three black pens
four SkoolPoint felt pens
seven pencils
one (triple pink) set of Pelikan erasers
one 30 centimeter ruler

So much for

So, now that it's clear, I figured that when it comes to something I love- taking a break from it is not easy- not because a break is not necessary- but because I am not psychologically prepared for it.

The same goes with little things we do on a daily basis- if you are on the go and busy all the time, start small- instead of indulging in office gossip and politics, why don't you read a magazine- eat a fruit, take a glass of water, or listen to music during your break?

And before you leave the office- why not just stop for a minute and recall the first time you set foot in that organization-and how you were in those few moments before the interview. Take a break- from things that do not add value to your life- and instead seek something that would- ask, is this second fully me? Am I here and now and living and loving this?

Caution:

At times, the answer to the question might not be to your liking, but at least it is honest.

PS: Picture is courtesy of LearnStuff

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How can one change the world if one identifies oneself with everybody?