Night of the Living Fred

Sunday, October 30, 2011

2013-09-27T20:56:00.001-05:00

Halloween at Paradise 2011 Part 1 of 3

This was a kind of preliminary costume I wore the week before Halloween. I found the hat at Target in Alexandria, and then found the shirt the same day at a kiosk in the Alexandria Mall.

Halloween at Paradise 2011 Part 2 of 3

2013-09-27T20:54:00.001-05:00

I knew I wanted to experiment with a werewolf costume and since Saturday was going to be our big costume party I went as a werewolf on Friday

--not Wolverine thank you--lol--as some mistook me for, and I have to admit my hair was perfectly Wolverine.

I used spirit gum to attach the hair and nose. The hair lasted all night.

But by the end of the night, the glasses were holding the nose up.

The hair and make up matched in my house and in the dim bar but couldn't hold up to flash photography. I had to blend the color of the nose into my skin tone. I did a better job than flash photography reveals.

Ha. The receding hair line adds character, especially in werewolf makeup.

It took me about 90 minutes to put this together, but I had thought up a plan in my head all week long. I finished two hours before work. If I knew some aspects were going to be easy, I would've taken my time, kept the spirit gum under the hair, layered the beard more, blended the hair more with mine, etc.

Great shot. Had to dig up the shirt out of moving boxes, but it was worth it.

Not bad. The sink was worse when I was a Dr. Zombie a few weeks before.

There are more pics I just have to get them from others. Hope you enjoyed.

Night of the Living Dead

2012-01-04T19:47:00.001-06:00

Goya Sleep of Reason

2012-01-04T19:04:00.000-06:00

Toshiba Laptop Zombie Commercial

2011-11-21T12:58:00.001-06:00

Great commercial.

Horror Songs Creedence Clearwater Revival

2011-05-10T20:32:00.001-05:00

I'm updating my blog, so please bear with me. And now that grades are in I'm continuing my Halloween in May Event.

Creedence Clearwater Revival is one of my favorite bands, and one of the bands I grew up listening to on vinyl, which my mom played turned up all the way while cleaning house. And, like the Beatles and only a few other bands, they don't have one bad song in their catalog.

When it comes to horror songs you probably think I'm going to talk about "Bad Moon Rising" or "I Put a Spell on You," but you're only two/sixths right. I can add four more horror songs from their oeuvre.

"I Put a Spell on You"
"Pagan Baby"
"Chameleon"
"Tombstone Shadow"
"Sinister Purpose"

"Bad Moon Rising," foretelling doom and the end of the world, is a classic and a shoe in for any werewolf movie soundtrack, but is too on the nose.

"I Put a Spell on You," too, is a classic, remade many times, and tells the story of love and casting spells.

"Pagan Baby" and "Chameleon" are pushing it. "Pagan baby" is probably more about a free-spirited woman and sex, but could be about the darker side of Paganism, while "Chameleon" is probably about miscommunication in a relationship or maybe a relationship with a fickle or flaky girl, though it would certainly work for a shapeshifter movie. Either one with the right footage could add to a good horror soundtrack.

"Tombstone Shadow" is one of their best little-heard songs, and is about a man with bad luck who sees a gypsy man to get rid of the curse.

And then there is "Sinister Purpose," whose evil is much more frightening than "Bad Moon Rising." It seems to be about the devil, or the four horsemen of the apocalypse, but it could be about any eternal evil, vampire, wandering Jew, or any others.

Zacherle, one of the most important horror hosts, sang the vocals for the Southern Culture on the Skids cover of this song from the great album, Halloween Hootenanny, featured below. There might be a few more CCR songs that could work as horror songs, but it's interesting to see that they have so many, even if you don't include Pagan Baby and Chameleon, although they did write a lot about Louisiana, which is known for voodoo.

Review: Adam Rex Frankenstein makes a Sandwich and Frankenstein Takes the Cake

2011-05-04T20:23:00.003-05:00

Continuing my Halloween in May event here is a short introduction to Adam Rex's two works Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich and Frankenstein Takes the Cake, the subtitle of the former being And Other Stories You're Sure to Like, Because They're All About Monsters and Some of Them Are Also About Food. You Like Food, Don't You? Well, All Right Then.

Submission guidelines for children's story mags and books--when I was looking them up in the '90's that is--were not that keen on the children's writer/artist. They wanted to match the writer and artist themselves. In a way they are like movie producers--while there are some great movie producers out there, most of the time they are business people with no real sense of art. Besides, I understand why these book publishers would say that. It's because writers/artists might fancy themselves as good writers and good artists. But then they're simultaneously ignoring could-be Seusses and Sendaks.

Whoa! Sorry about the digression.

I've read a couple of these poems for Halloween poetry readings at Northwestern State University at Leesville-Ft. Polk where I teach. Rex's breadth of artwork ranges from Norman Rockwell caricatures, classic black and white parodies of Universal monsters, great ink drawings and apparent parodies of Gnomes by Wil Nuygen and Rien Poortvliet. But his style isn't limited to these. You can check out Adam Rex's website and his blog.

My favorites from the first book are the

"Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich"
"An Open Letter from Wolfman's Best Friend"
"The Dentist"
"Count Dracula Doesn't Know He's Been Walking Around All Night with Spinach in His Teeth"

Incidentally, I've just realized that there is a subgenre of dentist horror stories and nothing makes more sense really. Doesn't it? The Dentist, and Little Shop of Horrors (pick your version), and even Marathon Man--"Is it safe?". I'm sure there are more.

And here's a video of Rex discussing his second set of children's horror poetry.

Thanks for reading. Enjoy.

Halloween in May: Poem and Event

2011-05-01T15:22:00.001-05:00

Ever hear of Christmas in July--as if it doesn't already last two months as it is. Well, I've been waiting six months to do this, ever since I wrote the following poem. Yes, it's Halloween in May. Look forward to horror movie and book reviews, photos from my horror collection, more horror short stories on Smashwords.com, horror lists and maybe some more horror poetry--not sure what else I might do, but it all starts with the poem.

Halloween in May

The pumpkins on the railing

Are wilting

One looks like an old man without

Any teeth

But the life size skeleton

Is still on my office door

And when I go home tonight

The eyeball lights around the doorframe

Will give me enough light to get my key in the lock

The scary stuff is on sale at the stores

While the happy stuff has taken over

But I’m thinking

of making

A pilgrim hat

for my skeleton

And then a Santa hat and maybe even a new year’s eve hat too

And I will keep it all up for a ridiculously long time

Like people keep up

their Christmas lights all year long

Until it all catches on and we make it official

Halloween in May

Notes on a theory: Superhero/Slasher theory

2011-04-27T19:13:00.002-05:00

Superhero Movie themes:

-origin
-the one thing that'll weaken him (kryptonite, revealing his identity)
-lives to fight another day

Slasher Movie themes:

-origin
-the one thing that'll weaken him (garlic, stake through the heart, dressing up as his mother)
-lives to fight another day

Other notes
Powers by being alien or supernatural. "Supernatural" means above nature and the word "alien" is nearly synonymous.

No wonder that most of the basic monsters also had comics, too many titles to mention here.

Hmmm, Superman came out when? Late 70's? And that was followed by the 80's horror movie. Therefore, if Superhero movies start doing poorly (Thor? Capt. America? Green Lantern?) then will there will be a rise--a harkening back to--the 80's horror film, ending the current trend in horror movies of what some call torture porn and against which I will not argue.

(Notes on words: I'm sure I'm using "harkening" at least close to the way it should be, but a cursory glance hasn't led me to the correct form.)

Seven Poems

2011-04-26T00:09:00.002-05:00

Armor or Amour

5/17/10

Funny how armor and amour

Are so close in spelling

The former can keep you from the latter

And the loss of the latter can create the former

(Note: I thought amour always meant love, and that’s how we commonly use it, but it also means affair. This works either way.)

Visualization

By Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

11/22/09

I think in the future

Visualization, possibly by another name

Will be of great concern

Especially in traffic law

The idea is that when we’re on the phone

Some of us visualize that person

While speaking to them

Which causes car wrecks and other accidents

I’ve always thought this but recently received some back up

In an article about an experiment

Using a clown on a unicycle

They queried pedestrians

And about 33% of people listening to music saw the clown on a unicycle

60% talking with a [live] friend noticed it

But only 8% of people talking on phones noticed it

They called it “inattentional blindness”

But I like visualization better

And all this is just a hard science way to tell you

That if a clown on a unicycle passed by while I was on the phone with you

I wouldn’t know it,

Because I can see you when I’m on the phone with you

Your smile

Your eyes

Absolut and Kahlua

By Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

2009-10

I’m sorry I drank all your Absolute and Kahlua

You left it at my house after we broke up

And asked me to save it for you

But that was all years ago

And a White Russian sounds so good right now

I might also try a Black Russian. I have before.

With more ingredients I could also make

An espresso martini

A Mudslide

An Iguana cocktail

There are probably more

But I’m too drunk to Google anymore

I have to tell you though

That I’m lying

I mean, I AM drunk

But off of beer

Good beer

Dead Guy Ale

Yeah, I can’t believe I found it

Here in Louisiana

No, you see

I lied about drinking your

Absolut and Kahlua

You know why?

Because I’m still hoping

You drop by and pick it up

Can you believe that?

I mean, I have hope

Hope that can last for years

We humans can be perseverant

When it comes to something like

Really longing for someone

And really loving someone.

Bridge and Heart

Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

11/22/09

Like a man standing at a chasm

And a bridge just suddenly appears

Like a heart patient waiting patiently

And gets the heart of a healthy teenage boy

I am simultaneously frightened and happy

Too wary to accept it

Too overwhelmed not to

I will walk the bridge

I will take the heart

And if that bridge collapses

Or if you break my heart again

At least I will be satisfied in knowing

that I have done what’s best and right

Even if it’s for myself

For Now

By Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

Summer 2009

My entire being is screaming out

That this is all wrong

And to hold you kiss you make love to you

Is completely right

And I don’t know how to get back to that

But for patience

And I have patience to spare

But patience for years I’m not sure I have

And the possibility

That it may not work out then anyway

Because right now

Everything, you and I, are in tune

It’s the rest of the world

That is out of whack, out of synch

Right now the planets are aligned

But it’s almost as if it’s over and we have lost our chance

For now.

Bar

By Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

2010

I hate a bar without a bar

What I mean

And what you may not know

Is that the bar

In a bar

Is the bar

On the floor

Where you hitch

A foot

and take a load off

I hate a bar without a bar

S. W.

by Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

You know how

When it rains

In the afternoon

And afterwards

You go outside

And the air is cleaner

And you can see further and clearer

And the sun is more radiant

Bright

Clear

Radiant.

That’s how I feel

When you walk into a room

When I talk to you

When I just think of you.

The Poetry of John D. MacDonald

2011-04-20T21:27:00.004-05:00

To my knowledge John D. MacDonald never wrote poetry. These excerpts are prose from A Purple Place For Dying. When I teach poetry I do so from the perspective of defining it by not only asking what is a poem but what can be a poem. These lines from MacDonald's fiction are poetry.

Strange Little Button

By John D. MacDonald

A Purple Place for Dying

Strange little button

Comforted by being held

Great reservoirs of affection

Both of these are very Haiku-ish or minimalist poems. This one doesn’t work perfectly, but the next one works better.

A Man’s Room

By John D. MacDonald

A Purple Place for Dying

A man’s room

Leather and wood

Stone and books and bar

Cluttered desk

Gun rack

Logs chuckling comfortably

In a big deep fireplace

John D. MacDonald wrote 78 books and nearly 500 short stories. He was productive but he was no Edward D. Hoch or Hugh B. Cave--lol. He is mostly known for his Travis McGee series the titles of which all contain a color. His most popularly adapted book was The Executioners, which was retitled Cape Fear both times it was filmed.

In my opinion he belongs to the top ten most important detective/crime writers. I usually consider Hammett, Chandler and Spillane the best and most important and in that order, followed by Parker, probably Sjowall and Wahloo in no particular order and some others I am forgetting , including the three Mac/McDonalds--Ross Macdonald, creator of the Lew Archer series; Gregory McDonald, creator of the Fletch series; and our present guest John D. MacDonald--my apologies to any mistyped "mac's" or "mc's" and also not in order.

Incidentally, I oftentimes mark up a book sometimes when I find something that reads like poetry. I'll have to dig up some more, but the only other lines I have discovered are some nicely metered lines from Mickey Spillane and Fredric Brown, the latter of which might be in the top fifteen for crime/detective writers. As a matter of fact I have a work in progress, a poem called "Pardon My Ghoulish Laughter," which is the title of a collection of Brown's short stories and might be a title of one of the short stories.

Early Poetry

2011-04-20T20:55:00.002-05:00

Early poetry

My early poetry is a combination of my successful attempts at poetry and, well, song lyrics. In some cases I may have revised these song lyrics. My first two years in college were as a major in music composition and theory.

At this point, some of you might ask and some of you have asked, “What did you play?” And now you also have the answer to why I was only a music major for two years--in other words I couldn’t sing, which some of you might know.

I’m revising some titles from people’s initials to the whole first name with the initial of the last name…so I can remember.

Nancy R.

(1990’s)

Your face is like the Moon

Full

Bright

And Mysterious

Surrounded by a starless universe of black tresses

Straightjacket of Love

(1990’s)

This straightjacket of love

Fits just like a glove

You can move around with ease

But baby I can’t even breathe

In this straightjacket of love

Crazy

(1990’s)

You always called me crazy

Now I think I am

You created a monster

To roam across the land

You always called me crazy

Now I know it’s true

You created a monster

And I’m coming after you

Disease

(1990’s)

They got a name for your disease

They got a name for mine

They’ll find one for themselves

If we just give them the time

To Dawna G.

(1990’s)

My Indian summer has nothing to do with the weather

But for her sunshine in my moonshine

I night, she the day

Together we make twilight at both dusk and dawn

I the moon, she the sun

I sometimes chase her in the day time

But she never sees me in my atmosphere

And I always recede into my darkness

The Ape Hymn

(1990’s)

I am just and ape oh Lord

I am just an ape

Try to communicate and I’ll try

Try to civilize me and I’ll die

I am just an ape oh Lord

I am just an ape

A monkey with some memory

A chimp without the charm

I am just a hairy fucking ape

An orangutan with a rutabaga

I don’t have to make sense

I just have to entertain ya.

I am just an ape Oh, God,

I am just an ape

Early Writing: Barnstormer/HTD story

2011-04-18T00:45:00.002-05:00

There is going to be an interesting history for this story some day. I plan on rewriting it to make it an HTD story, (see previous blog on "Six Bullets to Kill"), so this will be the old version. I think it will work better as an HTD story.

This is from Northwestern State University's literary magazine, Argus, from 1994, my last year as a graduate student at NSU. The copy I took this from has poor binding and is falling apart. This story and "The Last Tree" were both printed in this issue. (See earlier blog on "Six Bullets to Kill" for more info on "The Last Tree"). And it's printed in the issue alongside a story from a very good friend of mine, John Doughty Jr.'s called "The Bear," and more importantly my girlfriend at the time, feels weird to say that, Rene Van Slate's (now Cogswell)...I have a lost control of this sentence. Anyway, this issue also includes Rene's "Wasps and Mustache Wax."

These are jpeg files you should be able to click on and enlarge. Enjoy. And thanks for reading.

Early Writing: Six Bullets to Kill by Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

2011-04-17T22:16:00.003-05:00

A free story. "Six Bullets to Kill."

One of my first publications and in a mag called Innisfree, a now defunct small press mag. 1993 was a great year with this publication and "The Last Tree" in Child Life Magazine. You can actually buy a copy of the latter online in places for about $4.95, but I don't receive any royalties for it, since I sold all rights to it, which is the way it is sometimes when you start publishing.

"Six Bullets to Kill" is an HTD story. HTD stands for Harry T. Dent, a character I created in college, but haven't done enough with yet. He makes a brief appearance in the novel House of the Matriarch, and he's a major character in XXXXX XX XXXXXX (not giving that title yet), which is in screenplay format and will be the next novel I write. He also stars in about six solid stories I need to work on and a good ten more ideas for stories.

However, I want to write the stories in order and together--the first person detective voice is important and takes some concentration. I might work on these short stories this summer along with the other novel. These stories are screaming to be written, as Bukowski says, "poems like gunslingers."

What I want is something like what Edward D. Hoch did. He had several mystery series which were short story series, not novels. But, Harry will be in novels too. The last time I saw the number of short stories Hoch (pronounced Hoke) had written it was around ... eight hundred. That's 8-zero-zero. That's all. Not intimidating to beginning writers at all.

I'm kind of glad I waited so long to write the HTD' stories because they deserve justice, and I'm a better writer now. He and House of the Matriarch are part of a larger mythos or world I would like to finally get down on paper. The HTD stories are mystery/horror stories. The first one will be called "Busy Little Death Factory."

Incidentally, I saved these from PDF files but had to do each page separately to save them as jpegs. Not really sure how to do that any easier. If someone knows please let me know. Thanks for reading.

Fun With Vocabulary: Abacinate

2011-04-08T15:51:00.002-05:00

I've been making myself write these little ditties more and more, but I never know if they're going to be a part of something bigger or just stand alone, so I just dug this one up.

I'm reading the dictionary. Not a pocket size or college edition either. The 22nd edition of Websters which I got as a Christmas present as a teen. I haven't gotten really far, there is no plot, it's filled with big words but they're usually defined anyway, and it's hard to keep up with the thousands of characters.

I read it to understand words better in general because we use words all the time the definitions of which we may not entirely know, and I read it to increase my vocabulary, but as with ANYTHING I do a story tends to creep out whether I like it or not. I've only gotten one story so far from reading the dictionary, and it's just a bit of dialogue between two people, but I always laugh when I read it.

Fun with Vocabulary: Abacinate

by
Fred L. Taulbee Jr.

What?

I said I’m going to abacinate the witch.

Why?

Because she’s a witch.

No. Why do you say abacinate?

It means to blind someone by placing a red-hot copper basin close to the eyes.

I figured that’s what it meant, but why don’t you just say I’m going to burn her eyes out? It sounds much more frightening then.
I don’t know. It just sounded good. I looked it up and everything.

Oh, I’m sorry. Go ahead and abacinate the witch then.

Okay. Thank you.

Even more articles. Last one I promise.

2011-03-27T20:15:00.001-05:00

Okay, I promise this is all of them. I had some separated that wouldn't fit the scanner so I had to scan some and cut my head off. I promise these are the last ones. My head is much better, some glue and staples did the job.

Some more Current Sauce articles from my early Northwestern State University days.

2011-03-26T17:35:00.003-05:00

The rest of my college newspaper writing from the early 90's, including my first one with the Current Sauce (ISEP), my one article for the Natchitoches Times (Natchitoches Art Guild...), my story about my own campus mugging and more articles about college life and movies, along with an early pic of me.

Early Writing: College Paper, Stephen King article

2011-02-26T13:51:00.001-06:00

Early Writing: College Paper, Gene Rodenberry obit

2011-02-26T13:44:00.001-06:00

Early Writing. College Newspaper. Vampire movies.

2011-02-20T14:50:00.001-06:00

Another article from my early NSU Current Sauce career, if you can call it that. What you have to realize is that pretty much before X-Files circa '93, horror wasn't as big as it has been these past ten plus years. And finding that information was much harder back then too. BTW, this is from NSU's Current Sauce. What's funny is that Lost Boys II JUST came out.

Early Writing. College Newspaper. Long-Haired Freaky People

2011-02-19T15:14:00.002-06:00

Ha. Another Current Sauce article from Northwestern State University. Enjoy. Some of my titles were changed. The "Hair Today" statement was added by an editor. Click on the image to enlarge it.

Early Writing. College Newspaper. Movie Theaters Create Magic

2011-02-18T13:42:00.001-06:00

And now for something completely different. Below is one one of about a dozen articles I wrote in college for the Current Sauce at Northwestern State University. I haven't re-read it, and it was...wow, twenty years ago. Enjoy.

Short Story: Flanders in Hell

2011-02-17T21:21:00.002-06:00

I never intend to make any money with this, and I rarely write fan fiction, but as an English teacher and an admitted agnostic, Ned Flanders has always bothered me, but in a fun way. Also, I occasionally write these dialogue pieces, sometimes for practice, this time for fun. Enjoy.

15 May 2005

Flanders in Hell. Actually Flanders sent to Hell, and then arguing his case with St. Peter.

Gosh Diddly Darn. What are you trying to say?

I’m not trying to say anything I haven’t accomplished successfully twice already. You took the Lord’s name in vain.

When Holy Golly Googly did I do such a thing?

Just now. As a matter of fact you’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain thirty-eight times since you’ve been here talking to me.

When in Jeezle Pete did I do that?

Oh, don’t think you’re getting away with that one. His son’s name is his name too, I’m sure you know that.

Jeezle? Jeezle? That’s not Jesus.

It’s a euphemism.

A Golly Jeezle what?

Ooh, double whammy there. Anyway, a euphemism is a nicer word that replaces one more harsh. You know, like making the beast with two backs was Shakespeare’s way of saying people were having sex. Euphemisms still have the same definition of the words they replace.

So I’m going to Hell.

You don’t have to go to Hell, but you can’t stay here. Hey, just kidding. Besides, we make our own Hells. Do you really think you can live up here knowing you’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain . . . 3,125,342 times. And that’s just since you gave yourself to the Lord.

God dammit!

Well, now there’s no question about it. Is there?

Book Review: Eerie Volume 1 Collecting Eerie 1-5 Dark Horse Archives

2011-02-12T15:19:00.002-06:00

While in L.A. I had just started collecting Eerie, Creepy, Vampirella and others. But these nice archives came out and although pricey for a low budgeter like myself, it was more than worth it. My sisters bought gave me gift cards for my birthday and don't know yet what they got me. It also counts for my New Year's resolution to read on average a book a week.

What happened, I presume is that when the comics code came into play, Warren Publishing, along with others I'm sure, went magazine size and black and white, to play more towards the adult crowd or at least play like they were.

I read once that either Creepy or Eerie was going to be made into a tv series, but I don't see how that would be possible because to do them right they'd only be about ten minutes long, which actually might work in to today's tv and internet market, especially with what Adult Swim is doing, making ten minute episodes.

One phenomenon that is continued throughout these mags is the host. Each mag has its own host, which doesn't seem that strange until we start looking at the bigger picture in horror and sci-fi and even crime. First of all, we've got Rod Serling, Boris Karloff and Alfred Hitchcock hosting mostly thirty-minute shows, like Twilight Zone, Thriller and Alfred Hitchcock Presents, respectively. But we've also got the tv movie horror host, including Ghoulardhi, Zacherle, Elvira, who is supposed to have made a comeback by now, and Count Gore De Vol, who is still broadcasting on the internet at least and even Mystery Science Theater 3000. Interesting how we need a host to introduce us to the scarier stuff. There's no host on Lifetime movies or movies of the week.

I actually do remember a few stories from the 70's and 80's but I haven't found them yet. And these make up the last two books for my other New Year's resolution not to buy any more books because I really can't afford it and it eats up so much time which I should use writing. Some of you might know Frank Frazetta's work which is in here among many other artists and writers.

Now, I just have to wait till next year and try to buy another before they all disappear.

Great podcast interview with Stephen King's assistant

2011-01-29T16:24:00.002-06:00

I once had a Writer's Digest subscription which I cancelled after two years because the article topics started repeating themselves. The one topic I rarely find is organization and time management for writers, especially in the age of--not only computers but--cell phone apps.

This interview with Stephen King's assistant Marsha DeFilippo on Bob LeDrew's The King Cast discussed organization; if you're at the point where you can afford an assistant it might help, or it's good to dream about it anyway. If you know of any sites or any other sources that discuss organization and time management for writers, or if you just want to come and clean up my files, make sure I have everything printed and type in all the labels for these posts, then let me know. Lol.

The King Cast, Episode 9: A peek inside the office with Marsha DeFilippo 43:39 1/23/11.