Marriage

Registration of Marriages to be Made Compulsory in India

2012-06-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

The government will amend the Registration of Births and Deaths Act,  1969, to include registration of marriages under the purview of this  law. The amendment bill to be introduced in Parliament during this  session. This will provide legal protection to couples, especially in  cases of inter-religious matrimony.

The Union Cabinet has also approved amendment to the Anand  Marriage Act, 1909, to provide for registration of marriages of Sikhs  that has been a long-standing demand of the community.

The proposed Bills will be beneficial to women, protecting them from  unnecessary harassment in matrimonial and maintenance cases. It will  also provide evidentiary value in matters of custody of children, right  of children born from wedlock of two persons whose marriage is  registered and the age of the parties to the marriage, Union Human  Resource Development Minister, Kapil Sibal, told reporters here.

While marriages of Sikhs along with those of Buddhists and Jains are  currently registered under the Hindu Marriage Act, Muslims, Parsis,Christians and Jews have separate Acts for registration.

Necessary provisions have also been made to avoid duplication of  registration both under the proposed central legislation and State laws.  The registration of marriages under the proposed amendment would,  however, not affect any right recognised or acquired by any party to  marriage under any law, custom or usage. 

Creating A Perfectly Blended Family: The Do’s and Don’ts Of It

2012-01-03T05:35:00.000-08:00

Rocky and Namrata waited until they decided to get married to tell the  children. Soon after they were married they informed the children they  expected to be called mom and dad. Since they had different beliefs  about discipline, Rocky and Namrata handled their children differently. A  few months into their efforts to create a positive blended family  experience, they realized it wasn't working. Strained relationships,  marriage stress, and conflict abounded.

Sadly, much of the family  tension that existed was preventable. Had Rocky and Namrata implemented  the strategies detailed in the do's and don'ts of creating a blended  family that follow, they could have saved themselves considerable  frustration.

Are you contemplating blending two families together?  Are you planning on marrying someone with children? If so, check out  the ideas below. They just may help you create a more satisfying and  nurturing blended family.

Do's and Don't for Blended Families:

Do start talking with your children about the possibility of blending your  family, early. LONG before your marriage, begin the dialogue about the  future family life. Mix in lots of listening so that all the children  feel heard.

Don't push your children into  creating relationships. Allow those relationships to evolve slowly and  naturally over time. Give your children the time, space and flexibility  to adjust to the new situation.

Do establish new  traditions. Some current traditions and rituals you will want to  maintain. Others you will need to create around the new family setting.  Look for uniqueness in your new blended family and build a tradition  around that.

Don't expect your stepchildren to  call you mom or dad. Let the stepchildren decide what they want to call  you. Their comfort level is important here. If they don't naturally  settle on a name, meet with them to mutually establish a name that you  are comfortable being called.

Do establish a  unified parenting approach that is evenly applied to all in the family.  Reach agreement with your new partner on how to address the important  parenting situations that present themselves. Correct behavior from a  position of, "This is how we do it in our family."

Don't focus exclusively on the family and neglect strengthening your  marriage. Raising children is a challenge. Raising other people's  children is a special challenge. Having a strong marriage will help you  manage the challenge of blending your families together.

Do spend some time alone with each child and stepchild. Set aside time  each day to connect one-on-one with all the children in your new family.  This will help them establish a sense of belonging that enhances their  connection to the family.

Do hold family  meetings. This gives all members of the family a chance to express their  opinions and have input into the rules, schedule, and planning of  upcoming events. Family meetings provide opportunities for family  members to vent as well as express appreciation.

Don't attempt to do it alone.Seek support from a local community organization or family therapist professional.

Helping couples improve strained relationships (MarriageCounseling)

2012-01-03T05:18:00.000-08:00

If your family has been going through troubles due to your strained relationship with your partner, it is time to seek marriage counseling from a trained counselor or therapist. Various types of counseling services are offered for helping couples to resolve conflicts and repair their stained relationships. Some people might opt for faith-based counseling to their clergy whereas others might refer to professional help and guidance through therapy sessions. Following is a list of some of the professional psychiatrists who can offer marriage counseling.

1.Psychologists or other mental health providers with license in clinical psychology

2.Social workers having a Master's degree in social work

3.Family and Marriage therapists having a Master's degree and clinical experience in family therapy

4.Medical doctors who are trained Psychiatrists and offer medicine prescriptions

Couples counseling, individual counseling, group therapy and family therapy are some of the most popular types of counseling modules approached by the marriage counselors. If you too have been looking for counseling or therapy sessions to restore and rebuild your relationship with your partner, you can seek help from any of these above mentioned sources. However, it is important to consider here that no amount of marriage counseling will help unless both the partners are 100% committed to work through their marriage. Learning useful tricks to work out disagreements from counseling sessions is a long term investment that can take a long time from several weeks to months or even years depending on the intensity of the situation.

A licensed marriage counselor would help you to learn the tools that are needed for effective communication so that you can resolve the differences and difficulties during crisis situations. Depending on the degree of deterioration of your relationship, your counselor would ask you to come for weekly, bi-monthly or monthly sessions. No matter how often, your therapist asks you to attend his sessions, the goal is to bring you together with your partner and analyze the source of conflict. Therefore you must always consider the location of the therapist before approaching him/her. Following are some helpful tips for finding therapist in your neighborhood:

1.Ask your family physician for referrals.

2.Search in your local phone book / yellow pages directory for family and marriage therapist under the counseling section.

3.Ask your family members and friends for referrals if they know of any reputable marriage counselors.

The Most Important Things to Say to a Guy You Just Met

2011-11-15T10:33:00.000-08:00

The hardest part of meeting guys is knowing how to strike up an intriguing conversation that will keep him wanting more.

At a sports bar: "What's the most impressive goal you've ever scored in a game?"
Double entendre aside, ahem, dudes love to talk about sports almost as much as they love to brag. This question taps into both of those things. Whether he tells you about his high school years as the star quarterback, or surprises you with a minor league past — just know he's already digging you, simply because you asked.

At a club: "I dare you to show me your moonwalk."
To a guy, completing a dare is as mandatory as applying deodorant in the morning. Moonwalk, Macarena, or The Dougie — he's going to do it. And when he makes a complete clown out of himself, you'll be there to swoop in and save him from his two left feet. We're guessing he'll repay you with a round of drinks.

At a restaurant bar: "They have the best nachos here. Ever tried 'em?"
If they don't serve nachos, choose another menu item nearly everyone has a strong opinion about, like pizza or wings. Best case? He agrees with you and you decide to share a plate. Worst case? He disagrees, you flirtatiously fight, and then you offer to buy him some — just to prove him wrong. It's a win-win line that will have any guy eating off of your plate. Literally.

At a friend's party: "I wanted to talk to you the second I got here, but no one introduced me. So I'm introducing myself."
Men are attracted to confident women. He'll think the fact you had the chutzpah to approach him is hot. Sure, some guys like to make the first move, but that doesn't mean they're not pleasantly surprised when a woman does the legwork.

At the laundromat: "I'm bored. What do you normally do when your underwear is drying?"
Guys are extremely visual creatures. Even though you mentioned his underwear, he's automatically thinking about yours — and the fact that they're probably black and lacy, or barely there at all. So basically, you've got him hooked, and even if your only awesome suggestion is a quick round of Fruit Ninja on your phone, count him in.

At the park: "Any ideas on how to turn this blanket into a Twister board? I really want to play."
This shows a guy that you're fun, playful, and energetic — all in one quick line. He'll be curious to see what other crazy thoughts you dream up next.

At a baseball game: "I bet you a post-game drink that (insert player's name) will hit a home run this inning."
It's human nature for men to be competitive, and there's nothing like a harmless wager to get 'em going. He'll probably raise the stakes, turn the drink into a shot, and spend the rest of the game talking to you. So even if that player with the cute rear doesn't hit a home run — that line just scored you an after-game date.
At the gym: "You look like you know your way around this place. Where's that machine that works your glutes?"

While we consistently flatter our girlfriends ("Your hair looks so cute today! Love that top!"), guys rarely receive compliments from one another. So when they hear one, they take note. By saying he knows his way around the weight room, you're telling him he looks buff and manly, feeding right into his macho ego. In return he'll be more than willing to help you find whatever machine you're looking for .. and probably a whole lot more too.

On the beach: "I bet you're wondering how I avoid tan lines."
Nope. He wasn't. But after that comment, that's all that will be on his mind as long as you're laying next to him. And if it's up to him, you'll stay right there, talking to him .. At least until you give up your secret about being a spray tan addict.

Marriage in Trouble Signs

2011-01-30T20:23:00.000-08:00

Here are some signs that will help the couple decide that marriage should be worked out:
1.You do not find your partner lovely, and think of him/her as annoying instead.
2.You go over the same arguments again and again.
3.You no longer walk holding hands. There is a space between the two of you while walking.
4.Your husband changes his appearance with his new polo shirt, sprays cologne over his body and shaves often.
5.You have different activities for a day instead of watching TV together and do walking early in the morning.
6.You sleep with different bed or worst, on different rooms.
7.You no longer laugh at your own mistakes; instead find the mistake as a bullet point for your partner during an argument.
8.You consider the married life as a routine and not a commitment.
9.You no longer ask your partner how his/her day was.
10.You focus more on the flaws of your partner and become defensive when being noticed.
11.You feel like you are the only one who is reaching and working out for the marriage.
12.When a partner is asked where he/she came from, he/she gets mad and accuses the partner of being too malicious.

Pretending Happy Will Not Make Your Marriage Happy

2011-01-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

Common sense may say couples who are nicer, less critical, and more forgiving last.In fact, the only couples who benefit from acting happy are those who genuinely are happy.
While couples who interact with courtesy, love, and respect have the best chance of lasting, forced positive thoughts and actions are not behind it; rather, their solid marriage makes positive communication possible. Those who confront frequent problems — blaming behavior on the other, commanding change, or lodging insults — will not only benefit from forgiveness, but will also just be worse off. A turned head may avoid one fight, but it leads to two others.

We need to rethink the role of positivity in relationships,It's likely to be more nuanced in its benefits — it may benefit only some couples, and further, most importantly, it actually may harm other couples.
On one hand, it's good news. Fakeness can be insufferable, so anything to discourage it is a-OK with me. But for couples in the not-genuinely-happy category, does it feel a bit hopeless to you?

Importance of Marriage Word Over

2011-01-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

Marriage is the wonderful occasion and feeling for both bride and groom. Definition of marriage differs along with the thoughts of people and culture of different places. But most of people agree that it is nothing but the lifetime commitment. Marriage is the base that keeps two person bound with other for their lifetime. However, bound period may be different in different countries. In western countries marriages end after 10 years while in the countries like India it runs for lifetime.
Mostly the marriage means that it is nothing but the formal conformation of relationship. Marriages and ceremonies are depending on the various culture and customs of that specific country. Marriage makes ones love life into a promising one. This is the occasion that brings two persons together for the rest of their life by joining their hearts. Wedding is just not means for to join two souls together but gives a proper and definite shape to their life.
However the importance of wedding differs due to different countries and it can not be judged only on the basis of the looks of society. In western as well as eastern countries there are different customs and principles that people use in their wedding ceremonies. The use of these customs and principles helps to keep it forever as the culture. As we know people are forgetting about their culture and customs but the cultural events and marriages are the best source to keep the culture alive.
The factors such as bridal shoes, bridal gifts, wedding invitation and wedding accessories are the most essentials things and in some countries is part of the culture. In Hinduism, marriage is the source that helps to meet both social and religious obligations. Other religions have their own ways to describe the importance of marriage ceremony.
According to some people marriage is the only path that they are following individually. Life is a long journey and everyone needs a perfect path to discover the distance. However, if we get traveling mate with us then the journey becomes too easy and happy. Here our life partners it self is a traveling mate for us who helps to make the journey joyful and happy.

Survive A Marriage Break-Up

2011-01-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Being married could be a fabulous thing but knowing effective ways on surviving a marriage breakup is also critical. Although you have vowed to be with someone for the rest of your life for better or worse, your relationship is just like any other relationship – it sometimes falls apart when the worst of times gets the best of them.
You may think or feel like all is lost, that you would not know where to start. This is especially difficult when you have children or married to the person for a long time. Let us face some facts for a moment; surviving a marriage breakup is never an easy ordeal. Living alone is the least of your concerns; the pain is what makes it more difficult to deal with.
The first step to surviving a marriage breakup is to let it sink. Welcome the pain in every single possible way. It may be unorthodox to think about it as you are wishing to let go of it. However, you cannot really be able to let go of something if you have not recognized it fully. Let it overwhelm you, as this will give you a concrete idea on how badly it feels and how much you would want it to go away. Once you have felt every ounce of pain, you will realize the things that made it not worth it. Do not be bitter and forget about the good times that you have had. Surviving a marriage breakup should lead you to a road to a wiser and healthier relationship in the future.
While every case of a failed marriage is not the same and the aspects that surround it are different, the fact remains the same that it is over. If you have been able to get past denial, then it is time that you face the road to recovery. With this, you would need to get back on your toes and recognize what life has to offer you. For all you know, you are better off without your ex. The wisest move to take is to go out with your friends and have some fun. If you are bold enough, have someone help you organize a divorce party. This is a great way to show the whole world that you are ready to move on with your life and start a new one.
Always think about it this way, it can be difficult at first, but it will only get better as time goes by. Just like a scrape on the knee, it will heal as time goes by. If you ask why, it is simply because it has already happened and the scar will remind you that once upon a time, that marriage existed and you have had your share of happy memories.
Before you know it, you can walk with confidence and your head held high and even be able to be civil with your former spouse – in public or within closed doors. After all, surviving a marriage break up is not that difficult as some people may thought.

When wife may petition for dissolution of marriage

2011-01-30T07:30:00.000-08:00

Any wife may present a petition to the District Court or to the High Court, praying that his marriage may be dissolved on the ground that, since the solemnization thereof, her husband has exchanged his profession of Christianity for the profession of some other religion, and gone through a form of marriage with another woman
Or has been guilty of incestuous adultery,
Or of bigamy with adultery,
Or of marriage with another woman with adultery,
Or of rape, sodomy or bestiality,
Or of adultery coupled with such cruelty as without adultery would have entitled her to a divorce,
Or of adultery coupled with desertion, without reasonable excuse, for two years or upwards.
Contents of petition. -Every such petition shall state, as distinctly as the nature of the case permits, the facts on which the claim to have such marriage dissolved is founded.

When husband may petition for dissolution of marriage

2011-01-30T07:24:00.000-08:00

Any husband may present a petition to the District Court or to the High Court, praying that his marriage may be dissolved on the ground that his wife has, since the solemnization thereof, been guilty of adultery.

Gandharva Vivah

2011-01-30T07:12:00.000-08:00

Mutual love and consent between bride and the bridegroom brings about this kind of marriage. This kind of marriage is a voluntary union of a maiden with her beloved. Parents and kinsmen do not play any role in such marriages. Sexual intercourse before marriage also may occur between the couple. It is not regarded as a prohibition for their following marriage. Kama Sutra says this kind of marriage to be an ideal one. Hindu mythology literature has such type of marriages in abundance. Some of the well known mythological pairs are Bhima with Hidimba; Dushyant and Shakuntala; Kamdeva and Rati, Daksheya and Prajapati, Kach and Devyani, Arjuna with a servant maid and many more described in Sukh Sagar.

Svaymbara is another form of marriage and this existed in ancient times. This form of marriage depicts the choice of a hero as her bridegroom. The royalty of ancient times decided to choose a brave and righteous person as the bridegroom. So invitations were sent to the princes and the chieftains living close by and to distant kingdoms. The bride was allowed to select one from the gathered ones whom wished to put a garland round his neck and the marriage was complete.

The marriage of Nala and Damayanti took place in this process. In the nuptial knot ceremony of Prithviraj and Sanyukta, the bride had put a garland round the neck of a statue of Prithviraj. In some particular cases, a test was given to be completed by the competitors and the winner won the bride. This system was followed in Ramayana too; when Rama pulled the cord of Siva`s bow and married Sita. In Mahabharata, Arjuna shot through the eye of the rotating fish on the top of a shaft to marry Draupadi.

Swaymbara is usually not included in the 8 forms of traditional marriages. But it shares a close resemblance with Gandharva marriage. In this type of marriage, it is also allowed that, the father permits his daughter to choose her husband. Later, love and courtship comes along the way. In such cases, an ardent couple might have entered into a union without entering the religio-legal formalities. This is very common during wars. Later on, the union was legalized through a proper ceremony, thus it was an approved form.

Asura Vivah

2011-01-30T07:05:00.000-08:00

This is a type of marriage where the bridegroom pays the value to the father or kinsmen of the bride. The bridegroom decides the price according to the position of the bride`s family in society. This form of marriage is still popular amongst the low caste Hindus and some other tribes of India.

Prajapatya Vivah

2011-01-30T06:59:00.000-08:00

This kind of joint performance of sacred duties by a man and a woman is called the Prajapatya marriage. According to the founder of Arya Samaj, Swami Dayanand Saraswati, the father offers his daughter to the bridegroom, by addressing the couple some of the mantras of value.

Arsha Vivah

2011-01-30T06:55:00.000-08:00

In this type of marriage, the bridegroom gives a cow and a bull to the father of the bride, and the father instead gives his daughter in marriage. This exchange of the cow and the bull was considered as a religious ritual and as a token of gratitude to the father in law. The groom is also obliged to him to fulfill the obligations of Grihasthashram.

Daiva Vivah

2011-01-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

In this type of marriage, the father gives away his daughter along with heavy ornaments to a priest; this priest performs the sacrifice Yajna. Such marriages were more frequent in earlier times, when Yajna was a vital part of the daily activities of Hindus.

Brahma Vivah

2011-01-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

The daughter is dressed in a single robe and married to a man who is learned in the Vedas; her father readily invites and receives the bridegroom and his family respectfully. This nuptial is called Brahma. After the bride and the bridegroom took thorough education in Brahmacharya Ashrama and when both agree to spend their life together, the father of the bride gives his daughter to the bridegroom in the form of a gift. Usually carry a huge amount of ornaments. This ceremony was earlier not much known among the Brahmins, but now it is performed by all castes of Hindus.

Cute Marriage Photos

2011-01-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

Check Out A Few Funny Yet Cute Marriage Photos Above

Handle Domestic Abuse Cases

2011-01-29T09:25:00.000-08:00

With the highly stressful lives that most of us are living today, it is no wonder that sometimes family arguments get out of hand. Overcrowding, lack of money plus the many other elements will all add to the frustration of family members who are stuck in a rut with nowhere to go. When things get too bad, the arguments may turn into fights which often precede a call to the police by neighbors, family members or even people just passing by in the street. When this happens, it is necessary to engage the services of a professional in the form of a domestic abuse lawyer or a domestic violence lawyer.
We have all seen someone appearing now and then with a bruise or two which just cannot be explained. Indeed, those in the throes of this kind of situation will often make ludicrous attempts at covering up the crime just to keep the peace. Keeping the peace does not last very long, of course, but the protestations of the perpetrator are usually taken very seriously and this is how the cycle continues for as long as it does.
What a lot of people who are in this kind of situation do not know is that this behavior only gets worse without treatment. It often takes the words of a doctor or specialist to wake up the victim to what may happen in the future if this problem is not taken care of properly.
For example, a newly wedded wife, unaware that her husband had problems with alcohol, thought that her marriage was a good one. Pretty soon into the marriage she noticed his attitude towards alcohol and the need for him always to be joining friends almost every night for drinks. This went on for some time until he started spending nights away from home simply because he was too drunk to make it back to the home.
Inevitably, she started to question him closely on why the absences from the home and work too since they were running their own business which he rarely attended. When he did, it was merely to steal some cash to go out and get more alcohol again. Of course, this started endless arguments and eventually he started to push her around. After this it was the occasional slap with more serious injuries following on in the next few months.
Every time she went to the hospital for broken bones or stitches, she met the same doctor who showed her research stating that she was on a downward trend and the eventual outcome would certainly be death at the hands of this out of control person.
Anyone who is in the situation that this man is in will inevitably be arrested and charged one day. Although there is no excuse for his behavior, some courts will allow him out if he gets court appointed treatment for his alcohol problems and obvious temper control. However, he will certainly need the help of an expert in the court to broker such a deal.

Important Public Marriage Records

2011-01-29T09:16:00.000-08:00

Marriage is arguably the biggest occasion in one's life. Of course, Birth and Death are just as significant but in terms of the fuss generally taken by the individual, Marriage is the one, hands down. It's a joyful occasion for such a heavenly union but alas, a great many of them would turn sour eventually, resulting in divorce. According to statistics, close to half of Americans who ever married got divorced subsequently.
Marriage records are public records. As such, anyone has the right to access and view anybody's marriage records as long as procedures are followed. Public Marriage Records are readily available at their responsible government agency so there's no reason now for people to be in the dark about their partner's marital history.
Public Marriage Records fall under state jurisdiction. They are one of the vital public records along with Divorce, Birth and Death. Most states now have a central repository where official records and documents are archived. Marriage Records can be classified as Confidential in special cases but the bulk of them fall under public category. The standard information found in public marriage records typically include personal particulars of the couple, their parents', witnesses' and also the name of the officiant of the marriage ceremony. Some related records may also appear alongside the marriage records such as Divorce and Birth Records.
Although public marriage records have existed for a long time, it wasn't until the advent of computerization and internet that they caught on. It is easy and convenient to access and retrieve public marriage records these days. What used to be a long and tedious process involving lawyers and investigators is now a breeze and mostly conducted in do-it-yourself (DIY) fashion too. Both the cost and time involved in gathering these records is down to only a fraction of what it used to take in the old days.
The two basic versions of public marriage records are the free-of-charge (FOC) and the fee-based records. FOC records tend to be raw and scattered. As such, they often require further work subsequent to the retrieval to be of any use. Fee-based public marriage records are recommended when the search is more purposeful, especially if they are to be produced for formal use. Competition in this industry is keen so prices are regulated to very reasonable levels in tandem. Unless you are the type who actually enjoys the grunt work of assembling reports from scratch public sources, a little financial outlay can go a long way for you if you look in the right places.

Money Problems In Marriage

2011-01-29T08:53:00.000-08:00

Money problems in marriage are more common than you think. You might be surprised at how the smallest money issues can erupt into something so serious that they lead to divorce. However, that doesn't mean you have to suffer the same fate as well.

By learning about these money problems in marriage, you'll be able to find a balance between marriage and money. You'll be able to avoid making the same mistakes or getting into the same arguments as many other couples do.

1) When one spends too much and another spends too little.

This is one of the toughest money problems in marriage to face. People who get married to each other don't necessarily have the same values. The best way to deal with this kind of issue is to compromise. How?

Say you're the one who spends more money than your partner and you end up buying clothes worth hundreds of dollars. If said clothes are really a necessity, tell your partner that they could just be their birthday gift to you. It's also important to let your partner have their way once in a while.

2) When one is constantly in debt and another nags too much.

Nagging rarely ever brings about the kind of results you want. But then again, debts don't really do much for your marriage either.

If you're already married to a person with a lot of debt, it's time for a serious talk. Your partner's debts will affect not only your life, but your children as well.

Help your partner erase his debts by working together on a time line. Make them understand the gravity of the situation and what both of you have to give up for a while. It won't help to have one give up on their hobby, while you go showing your money off in their face. Dealing with debt is a team effort.

3) When one does not share and another wants support.

One of the most common money problems in marriage is the sort of system couples have with money. Some couples like to merge their finances in one bank account. Others like to keep separate accounts. Why don't you talk and see which one works best for you?

However, if you can't come to an agreement, why don't you do it half and half? Sure, you can still have a joint account; but each of you can set up a separate account on the side. Get the best of both worlds.

Money problems in marriage are common, but they need not be responsible for ruining your marriage. There are ways to get around these money issues. Just remember that you're no longer single. You have a partner with whom you should be able to trust and compromise with.

Traditional Hindu Bengali Wedding

2011-01-29T08:14:00.000-08:00

A traditional Bengali wedding is a 4-day affair with a series of rituals and ceremonies. Each of these colorful rituals not only adds fun to the wedding, each of it has a special meaning and symbolizes the beginning of a united life of the newlywed couples. All the friends and relatives gather during a wedding ceremony, which turns out a kind of family reunion.
A typical Bengali marriage ceremony is marked by blowing of conch shells, ululations of women, playing of shehenai (a musical instrument) at the backdrop, good food, and gorgeously dressed men and women.

When Is A Marriage Over?

2011-01-29T07:49:00.000-08:00

The only time I believe in giving up on a marriage is when one of them dies, or if after their divorce one of them marries someone else, or if one of them continues involvement in an activity that makes the marriage impossible. Otherwise, I believe there is a chance to reconcile.

The first two death or one of them marrying someone else are obvious. I will briefly explain the third. When someone asks me if they should make the effort to save their marriage when their spouse has done some bad thing I always ask, "Is your spouse a good person doing a bad thing, or a bad person doing a bad thing?" The intention of the question is whether beneath the current bad behavior there exists a good heart or if the person is so intent on his or her selfish behavior there is no chance to rescue them. Judging a person by what he or she is doing now can sometimes lead to the wrong conclusion.

That said, there are actions that make it impossible for a marriage to continue. Here are a few examples:

If one continues in an affair, even after confrontation, it is impossible for the other spouse to continue to live in that marriage. (Though I use the word "impossible," I know of some who have. I don't recommend it.)

If a person is abusing his or her spouse or children, remaining in that marriage is unwise. Abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, or a combination thereof. I have seen marriages reconcile after the abuser got proper help, but even then strict boundaries were put in place to ensure that no more abuse could occur. If the abuser does not seek or accept the help he or she needs so that their bad behavior is corrected, living with them is not a viable option.

The example list could go on. Sometimes the unhealthy, bad behavior of a spouse makes it treacherous for spouse or children to remain in the same home. If a person refuses to stop the devastating behavior, that person eventually becomes unbearable to live with.

However, allow me to point out that there should be patience in concluding that a person will not stop the action destroying the marriage. Often a planned intervention works and can help to rescue a straying spouse.

Before giving up on a person, have the grace and mercy to try all that can be done to rescue them. Thats why I always encourage a spouse about to end a marriage to seek wise counsel to determine if the spouse is truly hopelessly involved in his or her actions. Hurt and angry spouses sometimes make judgments about their spouses that may be incorrect.

If a person can be rescued, they should be. If a marriage has any chance of reconciliation, that chance should be explored to the deepest level.

Divorce Within India

2011-01-28T11:13:00.000-08:00

All major religions have their own laws which govern divorces within their own community, and separate regulations exist regarding divorce in interfaith marriages.
Hindus, including Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains, are governed by the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955; Christians by the Indian Divorce Act, 1869; Parsis by the Parsi Marriage and Divorce Act, 1936; and Muslims by the Dissolution of Muslim Marriages Act, 1939, which provides the grounds on which women can obtain a divorce, and the uncodified civil law. Civil marriages and inter-community marriages and divorces are governed by the Special Marriage Act, 1956 .Other community specific legislation includes the Native Converts’ Marriage Dissolution Act, 1866 that allows a Hindu to appeal for a divorce if a spouse converts to Christianity.

Grounds for Divorce
In most Western nations, there are approximately 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however, only five main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient grounds for divorce.
Adultery. While no formal definition of adultery exists, it does have “a fairly established meaning in matrimonial law”, namely “the voluntary sexual intercourse of a married man or woman with a person other than the offender’s wife or husband”. While the law considers it valid grounds for either sex, adulterous women are “judged more harshly” than men.
The various religious regulations are not unanimous on this issue. The law regarding Hindus allows divorce to be granted on the grounds of infidelity of either husband or wife. The Christian law, however, would traditionally not have granted a divorce to a woman solely on the grounds of adultery. She would have had to prove another violation, such as cruelty .A recent Bombay High Court decision “recognised cruelty and desertion as independent grounds for the dissolution of a Christian marriage,” striking down a section of the law that allowed for an unconstitutional distinction between the sexes.
Desertion. The three main components of desertion are the “disruption of cohabitation, absence of just or reasonable cause and their combination throughout three years” before the abandoned spouse may petition for a divorce. There also must be an obvious intent on the part of the offending spouse to remain permanently apart from the other. This statute also applies to cases in which a spouse has been heard from for at least seven years .
Cruelty. As with adultery, “the definition of the type of behavior that constitutes cruelty varies according to the gender of the petitioner” of the divorce. “Despite the fact that cruelty is often equally available to husbands and wives, the way in which the law is interpreted and applied suggests that women and men are evaluated by rather different standards” .This category includes both physical and mental abuse and neglect.
A court decision made in early May 1997 made cruelty sufficient grounds for a Christian woman to obtain a; previously, the law required both adultery and cruelty to be proven. The national Indian Christian community seems to have embraced this judgment.
Impotency. This refers to the physical inability of the couple to consummate the marriage or the refusal by one spouse to do so. Some cases have established that sterility can be construed to mean non-consummation if the other partner is not aware of the condition before the marriage.
Chronic Disease. Both mental and physical illnesses are included in this category, as well as sexually transmitted diseases. Not all religions recognize identical diseases as grounds for divorce. Christians and Parsis do not allow divorce for a sexually transmitted disease or leprosy while the other communities do.

Biggest Issues In A Marriage

2011-01-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

Here is a look at some of the typical issues that confront couples in a marriage:

Nothing is more important to intimacy than your sense of self-worth.
How you feel about yourself in relation to other people is a major factor in the quality of your intimate relationships.
Trouble in a relationship almost always involves a problem with self-esteem.
Problems confiding
The ability to reveal yourself fully, honestly and directly to another human being is the lifeblood of intimacy. Intimacy thrives only when partners know what is happening in each other's lives- the trivial as well as the important.
Most couples discuss the mundane happenings of their daily grind and derive each other's support. Many a troubled marriage has partners not being able to confide in each other.

Many;couples also find problems with emotional intimacy.
Emotional intimacy also springs from the fact; that partners have matching wavelengths. They find;they can relate to each other.

How a couple reacts to a common crisis and how they support each other is very pertinent and reveals a lot about their marriage.
Very often, couples can't take the strain of a crisis and the marriage starts developing cracks.
The death of a child, the infertility of partner, a huge financial setback are common crises.
Poor conflict resolution skill
Many couples lack the appropriate skills to resolve conflicts. They are unable to accept their own drawback and work on it.
Lack of sharing
A very common grievance that many women have is that men don't adequately share the responsibilities of home and child, leaving the women feeling disgruntled and angry.
This anger often finds inappropriate channels that further damage the relationship.
Sharing commonalties
Most couples are joined by common interests, passions and values.
Varied and different interests and passions can be a sore point among couples but with sensitivity can be worked on. But if the values differ, they can cause a huge strain on the relationship and start eroding it.

Ban on homosexual marriage upheld in France

2011-01-28T10:16:00.000-08:00

The Constitutional Court in France has rejected a lesbian couple's bid to overturn the French ban on same-sex marriage. Judges ruled that marriage was legal only between a man and a woman.

A French female teacher and pediatrician - who have lived together for 15 years and have four children - were turned down by the French Constitutional Court on Friday in their bid to overturn the country's ban on same-sex marriage.
Judges found that the law defining marriage as valid only between a male and female was acceptable under the French constitution.
The court rejected the couple's argument that the two articles in the French civil code defining marriage were unconstitutional and discriminatory against homosexuals.
However, the judges added that it was up to parliament to decide if the ban should be overturned - and not the constitutional authority.

"The court has missed an historic opportunity to put an end to discrimination that has become intolerable for more than three million gay and lesbians in France," said Caroline Mecary, a lawyer for gay rights groups.
Disappointment for couple
Though the couple - Corinne Cestino and Sophie Hasslauer - currently enjoys tax benefits and other financial advantages because they are in the legally recognized civil partnership, they feel they should be entitled to further benefits that marriage would bring.
"Marriage is the only solution in terms of protecting our children, sharing parental authority, settling inheritance problems and eventual custody if one of us were to die," they told journalists before the ruling.
At present, marriage between homosexual partners has been authorized in 10 countries, the majority of which belong to the European Union.
Other countries have adopted legislation on civil partnerships instead, including France, Germany, Britain, the Czech Republic, Switzerland, and Great Britain.