....

Something for you , =)

2012-11-02T09:35:00.002-07:00

I know i had't been a sweet gf, neither try any effort to understand you, tolerate you, and then i realized also, i never did once succeed in giving you a surprise, sorry for being such a terrible gf...
However, this is for you hubby, I , err, took quite some time to do it, with all my heart,and i never used a mouse gah! since someone borrowed my mouse and "swallowed " it =( needed a lot of skills and "kung fu" for someone as noob as me =( ...It is not something nice to see, but i really mean it by the message in the picture...

You said you liked ocean blue, so ...

But i think plain white is nice...

Then, when i looked at it again, ocean blue background not bad also...

Tried to make it as desktop background, but it turned out like a ~~shit,~~ so...forget about it. Hope you love it hubby.
Muaks.
Love you forever.
* if you can't see the words, you can click on the picture to enlarge it hehe...

"Inspired"

2012-10-18T05:11:00.000-07:00

Amanda Todd.
The first thing i had in mind was, does it hurt? Why would i even do that? I'm not that stupid.
But then, today, I tried. I didn't know how the hell I gathered enough courage to do it. Still, the fact is, I finally did it. Yes , it hurts, a lot .Instead, it hurts more in the inside, I cried not because of the pain, but the inner battle of feelings within me. Desperation, Frustration, Lost, . the DFL disease. DFL made me a non-human. At some point, I just feel like giving up everything. Everything just so sucks, i was thinking of WHY every minute passed by, which, i shouldn't do that . Why things turned out to be like this? Had i not gathered enough karma? WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR?! I've lost the determination. I've lost the will. I've lost my heart for my live. I've lost the mean to fight for my rights.Most of all, I've lost myself in the middle of nowhere. I guess this is what criminals feel. I mean I just don't care about things happening around me anymore, just let it be. Being irresponsible for my life now, living is misery. Everyone seems to be a hypocrite to me now. I just hated the fact that .. nothing. I rather not talk about it. Sigh.
Conclusion : I need a psychiatrist.

2012-10-13T05:21:00.002-07:00

Sigh...

STORM

2012-09-13T21:55:00.001-07:00

I was right about to hit the storm waiting ahead of me in my life.

Yet, I felt so calm even though i knew what is going to happen anytime from now.

It is not because I don't care, it is merely because I am helpless now.

I know I'm escaping the ugly truth by trying hard not to think about the storm while doing nothing about it.

It's my nature . Escape.

I just can't depend on other's people help. Not even the closest one.

Because I brought myself to this path. I chose to be this way.

Yes, I regretted it.

But others wouldn't make you feel better, instead they will say something that make you feel even worst.

I thought of asking for help, but it just not working at all. No one can actually help after offering .

At the moment i felt so helpless... No one understand me, no one is there for me. Just no one would care....

Just, on my own....waiting for the storm to come..

and, hopefully, it would not be a dangerous one.

我

2012-08-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

原来我不止心灵上脆弱，健康上也有大问题。
为何我做人就是那么的失败。

Assignments!

2012-08-10T23:57:00.002-07:00

Been very busy with assignments , but the main point is those assignments were assignments that i did before last semester. wtf. The fees of retaking all those subjects from last semester cost a bomb too =X Really regretting for not studying hard enough. Sigh.

END of The 18th Life

2012-08-09T07:54:00.003-07:00

I can't believe i cried for twice on my birthday, This time birthday, really marking the end point for the most important thing in my life, for that, i won't every look back again.

Google Doodles!

2012-08-08T06:58:00.001-07:00

Lecturer : How to solve Question 1?
Answer : www.google.com

Oh Google. I really really really can't imagine my life without Google search engine. So far, I think Google is the best search engine for me , not too many crappy search results compare to others search engine. So today post is bout Google DOODLES! yeay! #GoogleDoodlesAddict . Google has been coming out with alot of attractive and interactive doodles, especially those that actually allow us to play with! Yeay! I feel like a kid whenever I'm playing one of Google Doodles mini game like the one with guitar one ar. Damn nice! =D Now, even better, mini olympic games are there for us to play, I couldn't get high scores for the Google Doodles Hurdles. Not even the second medal -.-. So no screenshot for it or else i'm gonna embarrass myself. But if you somehow missed the mini game, no worries aye? Here is the LINK for you to play it =D Well, it is actually the link for you to search all awesome doodles that have been displayed on google home page actually =)
And here's for today mini game! Basketballllllllllllllllllllllllllll! At first i was so noob at it that i couldn't even get the second medal too, until bf purposely gave me a call to explain how he got 36 balls =X. Well, even after he shared his 'secret method' , at most i can only get 30balls T....T . I kept on practising, no choice for people like me, slow learner, gotta depends on my effort. Life is unfair lol.

Until just now, I wholeheartedly started to believe that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DETERMINED!!!! lol.

And then my efforts paid off again! T^T #Imhappygirl

*If only I'm so determined in my study lol. I wonder why , I can put a lot of efforts on this mini game just to break the record but never every in my study i carry this kind of attitude. whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...............

3PM

2012-08-03T06:35:00.002-07:00

Went to the beach with my love <3 Happy day indeed =p
Tried to throw away all those unhappy memories and frustration that moment and just enjoy the breeze of beach . Feeling is awesome lol.

Hello August!

2012-07-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

Wtf right the blog post title? It is not even August yet, but i can smell the scent of new month ahead. *sniff sniff* I'm not trying to be a dog nor a cat, whatever la, just trying to sound optimist cause i know there will be lots of happenings in this coming months, bad ones i'm just gonna bear with it, excited for the few wedding dinners ahead. lol. can "ban leng leng" lol. Bank account is still in dehydrating stage, am trying hard to save it lol. Doing well in my emotional control but sucks at study -.- fml. I shouldn't be blogging now lol. Changed my blog header lol. I;m so vain lately -.- fmlx2! Grrr. Lots of things to do yet still i'm here infront of the laptop swayying like i'm so free. Gtg now. Zzzzzz.

痛

2012-07-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

我知道我错了，但是事实并不是你所以为的，要结束就这样结束，也不让我解释，我已经无所谓了，因为我知道你从开始就不打算原谅我。

会问你那样的问题是因为我想听你告诉我，我是最棒的。但是我错了。

Oh Shitt

2012-07-21T14:32:00.004-07:00

Seriously, i just painted my face with shitttttt literally. I did something that i never think will do. OMG. -.-
Totally regretting it , oh FucK oh Noooooooo! $%^&*&*, hopefully it turns out well. T^T

.................................................................................................................................................l

Sorry if you happens to stumbled upon this post cause it's meaningless. Just a post for me to rant about something foolish and embarrassing i did few mins ago . Awful ...........................to the MAX!

Loving makeup but i'm so noob T^T

One step taken

2012-07-19T16:37:00.002-07:00

Slowly, i realized i'm not even one inch closer in achieving what i wanted badly in my life , for now, it seems like a target i set few months back but never really take it seriously enough. Frankly, for the past few months, I always give myself zillions of excuses in order to ease the feeling of guilt i'm having for lacking of motivation in achieving my goal. Like :

Aiyoh, too hard la the task.
Aiseh, so troublesome one.
Aiyah, i need more time la..
And Finally, it ended up with...Alah! I WON"T MAKE IT ONE LA!

There goes, feeling of guilt abolished in the same time so do my target, my not-so-noble-dream lol. However, i finally took the a step towards my target now =D *like seriously, why took so long huh miss?*. I know there will be tonnes of bullshitting obstacles and i might get tripped down by some stupid rocks along the way,well, the best i can do now is crossing my finger and putting more effort in the second step. =) I'm feeling so motivated today . HAHAHAHA. toodles!

Antivirus ahhhh!

2012-07-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so few days ago, i got my lappie back. There's something wrong with my hard disk anyway. I lost tonnes of important files, i wonder can i use the restore files program to track back my files? Anyway, that's not the main point about this blogpost, the main point is i just encountered a really strong and stubborn virus lol. So, guys, whenever you download something free online, think twice, is the source reliable? Or else you gonna get shit painted on your pc. Even if your pc has antivirus installed, you'll never know how strong nowadays virus may be. They undergo modification one you know. Serious la. lol.
PLEASE!!
Beware of the
MYSTART INCREDIBAR
(stupid name for a virus come search engine)
Before i start ranting about how this stupid virus caused me haedache i would like to clarify that I'm not an IT expert nor a complete noob of IT okay? Just some sharing.
First of all, what the hell is MYSTART INCREDIBAR? I don't know seriously, couple of hours ago, i downloaded some desktop theme to my pc and vuola! i got the mysterious mystart incredibar that pops up out of nowhere when i opened my browser, it look as below :

Stole from web cause i had no screenshot of it

Now now, at first, it may seems harmless right? Looking quite decent except for the few low quality crap adverts pops up under them, i got no screenshot of it neither. But still i was wondering why la suddenly my homepage change from google to this bullshit? Okay fine, i tried using it, the search result was terrible ,lol, i don't know bout others, but to me this virus/search engine seems like a the world most useless search engine with no efficient results at all . Some more horr, it made my laptop laggy , that's when i get so annoyed ! At that moment i still didn't know mystart incredibar was a virus, not until i tried to uninstall the programes that looked suspicious and delete all the files that i have downloaded earlier on because i thought that my pc is laggy because of some virus in those downloaded files or installed programes. Finished removing everything, and still my pc is so laggy, i opened my browser again and got suspicious when i saw why is it the search engine is still there cause I already went to my setting and changed my homepage to google. That's the moment i got strucked by lighting.lol. That stupid search engine was the culprit!!!!!!!!!!! It was the one that made my laptop laggy and hijacked my browser! Fuck you MYSTART INCREDIBAR!
Frustrated me left with no choice then google it lorrr, how to bla bla bla. And yeah, my guess was correct, that little devil was a virus, a spyware i guess. I didn't read much about it cause i'm in the urge to cure my sick pc. Run through some website , then i finally found the solution to uninstall that bullshit :

Very troublesome plus i don't know whether it is effective not. Instructions wasn't clear at all.

CLICK HERE

A video teaching you step by step removing the virus. Too lazy to watch lah me, and it is internet explorer, mine is chrome.

CLICK HERE

SYSTEM RESTORE! woots, i chose this damn easy and effective =D except that i lost some files again lol.

CLICK HERE

Anyway, system restore is the best choice for me cause i backup my files in the D drive, and the most surprising thing is that before i reformatted my pc, my chrome has been a lot of bookmarks which i visit frequently, after reformatted , all of the google was gone, but then the magical thing happened as after i restore, every bookmarkings are back! o.O Oh yeah, before ending this, i would like to remind you all that whatever important files in your pc, please backup it up in your D drive or ext.hard disk cause you never know what misfortune will land on your pc >.< *touchwood* Toodles!

Hmmm

2012-07-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

As much as i'm curious about it, i m gonna pretend that i seen nothing and i heard nothing as well. Anyway, seems like i really didn't update this blog for quite some time, cause nobody reads it anyway, except for few of my friends i guess *vain hope* lol. Assignments are rolling in one by one, i still skipped class quite often as usual, and most importantly, i hadn't change a bit LOL. My lappie spoiled that's why i didn't update any post about my life nor my pathetic little emotions. lol. Anyway, on budget constraints lately, my allowance got cut off, 50% discount because of my useless results damn. Searching for job but idk why lately macam no luck at all =.=.

2012 is a tiring year

2012-07-08T20:38:00.002-07:00

This year is a very tiring year for me, i don't know why, both mentally and physically tiring,pathetic huh, i fell sick and i cried like triples the times of last year, and it is not even end of the year yet.

Weak

2012-06-15T08:47:00.001-07:00

I was sick again, I mean i am sick again, pimples popped out all of sudden, my face turned so red , till now my face still looked like baboon's butt. FML. Slept for almost 24 hours =.= , the heat has gradually ease, but the fatigue and dizziness is still there sigh. Please let me recover oh god T^T . I really don't like being sick.

Back to abnormality?

2012-06-13T11:46:00.002-07:00

Oh god, please advice : So said them, girls looking at girls are weird, is that so? I'm addicted to pretty women nowadays, i mean it is not completely my fault right? Cause it is june now, no one can prevent June from coming , and that means there will be June intake students, new faces and freshies, indirectly means new leng lui-ss to be stalked at. Like i said, good things are meant to be share, and beautiful is a good thing, so i guess it is okay to look at beautiful girls right? Dear god, please make those leng lui-s not to appear or pass by in front of me anymore each day, or else i think i might fell for one T^T, they are simply nice to look at and i couldn't help but to turn my head and look at them. Am i abnormal? Your sincerely, Girl that love looking at beautiful girls

Heartache

2012-06-12T21:27:00.001-07:00

I thought I'm big enough to take care of myself. Turned out i was wrong,really wrong. My heartache so much for no reason when in fact i knew deep in my heart that they won't allow me to go. I told myself each time : When god gave you lemon, made a lemonade out of it .
But then, i soon realized that it was just some quote that i bear in mind just to comfort myself. All this while, I tried so hard to change, I just wanted to live like what other teenagers do, I just wanted to be independent, I just wanted to really gain some new experience for my life. I failed. The opportunity was there, but there was no chances. Get what i mean?
Maybe they don't understand, but i really do not want to live my life with regrets. Really don't. 20 years later and looking back my life, i wanted to be the one that smile because of sweet memoirs, not the one that sulk and depressed and complaining about how plain and empty her life was back then.
I cried and cried ......

This genuine answer of mine won me some goodies by the way , at least, something to happy about. But then it still couldn't cover the feeling of rejecting something i wanted so much.

累

2012-06-12T04:06:00.001-07:00

头很痛，很痛，很痛那种。
我哭了。
幸好姐姐又在，她说我快生病了。

Day 1

2012-06-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to sleep "early" yesterday but ended up sleeping at almost 4am in the morning . Great . My plan got screwed for day 1 so i procrastinated again , lol. Luckily, managed to go for 30mins jog =) alone again. Half an hour for 4laps? =.= That's terrible lol. There are so many things running in my mind, one yet to settle, another came upon. ~~Darn~~. The list goes on and on forever. Never ending list. But then wait a minute, I don't even have a check list lol. Gonna do one now.
Budget constraints lately, my allowance got cut down this month sigh. Bank account getting thirsty. I need to start searching for job again x.X. Sigh. Saw there's was a discount to create your own domain wor. Tempted but forget about it bah . T^T. That's all for day 1. Bye.

Oh facebook

2012-06-10T08:41:00.001-07:00

Facebook always disappoint me when i need it -.-. i believed someone just hacked my facebook T^T Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Okay, self whispering. Damn. Spain vs Italy, watch highlights tomorrow . No choice . Grrrrrrrrr. Night World <3

update

2012-06-08T22:17:00.001-07:00

Hmm, Euro cup just flagged off last night, everyone seems to go mad over it. Except for me lol. I realized that I'm not a fan of football cause i barely know anything about football , my knowledge about it is only like 1% =.=. Okay, sometimes i really enjoy watching football matches but sometimes i don't cause it actually depends on my mood lol. Thought of watching the first match last night, Poland vs Greece , but then i realized that my house astro package doesn't include ANY SPORTS CHANNEL , oh mum, why u bias? So, forget about it bah .

So last night after eating satay celup, instead of spending my time in living room, i went to my room and skype with him *>.<* . He said he miss his home, awwww, pity him. Then he started to drew me -.- See the drawing down there, he "claimed" that it is me , -.-, insulting ! lol kidding. Nice effort though. haha. But horr, where's "my" legs and hands ?? @.@

Okay fine, so, the main point is that he triggered me lol, suddenly feel like drawing PEOPLE. lol. and V-U-O-L-A! my masterpiece !

Okay, If you can guess who is this i gotta give you a credit liao ! Cause i can barely recognize the PEOPLE i drew also =.= . But then i think it was the lips problem, if you cover the mouth, then you can see that it is 55% TOP oppa gah! Okay, I'm comforting myself lol.

Ending this post now, btw, it was TOP from Big Bang i TRIED to draw, failure. Oh yeah! Big Bang is coming to town ( October) , and, Maroon 5 (September ) ! Adam Levine is hot =O teehee!

Emptied

2012-05-31T09:10:00.001-07:00

Oh geeeess. My mind is completely empty now. I needa think of a plan. How to explain to my parents . Everyone in fb is "showing off" their beta time table wtf. Made me feeeel sooooooo errr, sad? Nah, not sad. Jealous might be the word. But then, I always bear in my mind that why bother to graduate in a hurry when you can enjoy your university life. But then again, I took more than one year for foundation that is kinda pathetic -.- . embarrassing sial. That thought of mine should only be applied during beta year lol. I don;t mind extending my semester but the problem is with my parents. -.- they would literally slaughter me if they knew about it . Well, secrets won't last forever, the cat will sneak out of the bag soon sigh. dooms day =X

And oh, after langkawi trip, i grew fatter -.- chocolates are evils especially when you can buy them at almost half price lol. Bought tonnes of chocolates but some of them melted -.- . & Swimming is a love but also a sin cause my skin grew darker . Okay. Gtg now. Mind really ....sleepy. lol

Back in 6hours time

2012-05-30T22:44:00.001-07:00

Still locating in puchong now. One week away from my house. Kinda miss my room =/
1st June tomorrow. Lots of things to think about. and I miss him badly. one week felt like one year. wtf .