All For Words

Life in a non-metro: Snail mail

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 17:31:00 +0000

I have absolutely no idea what he was looking at. There was nothing on the wall facing him; besides, the said wall was about 12 feet away. But he sat upright on the chair, hands on the lap, and looked straight ahead. "Perhaps he's meditating", I told myself after 5 minutes had passed without him showing any signs of life. Then, he got up (unhurriedly), walked to the window (leisurely), yanked it open, leaned out, spit forth a stream of bright red betel juice, closed the window, sauntered over to his chair, and resumed the former yogic position.

I was at the BSNL office, trying to get my user ID and password for a broadband connection. It was a big hall, about 30 feet square, with darkened glass windows, airconditioners whirring noiselessly somewhere, a Sun server rack, a U-shaped arrangement of two tables, and 9 people. Of them, only one person seemed to be doing anything (she was talking on the phone) - everyone else was either staring at the computer screen in front of them (with hands firmly in their laps) or turning the pages of dogeared registers (with pens not in their hands).

I obeyed the "Remove your shoes here" notice, took two steps, and asked the lady (who'd put the phone down in the meantime) about my user ID and password.
She: When did you apply?
Me: For the broadband? Four days ago.
She: It must have come yesterday. Good you came today; else by today evening it would have been couriered to your address.
I was taken aback by this efficiency (appearances are deceptive, I guess). I responded, "But that's okay madam, I would have got the courier in a day or two."
She looked up at me from over her spectacles (she'd begun writing something in a register) and declared, "Child, it takes 2 to 3 weeks for the courier to reach the subscriber."

Just in case you're wondering, the process (recommended) of getting a broadband connection is as follows:

Give a request letter to the BSNL office at office X.

Letter moves from office X to office Y, which
- issues a modem to person A.
- lets Office Z know, which asks Bangalore to send a user ID and password.

Wait for 2 days.

Go to office Z and collect the user ID and password (event described in the first few paragraphs of this blog post).

Ask office Y about person A's phone number and inform said person that your user ID and password have arrived. (heh)

Person A visits your place, and installs and configures the modem.

The process (not recommended) of getting the connection: Downloading the broadband application form from the BSNL site, filling it up, and submitting it at office X. They'll ask you to give a letter on plain paper.

Conclusion
It takes BSNL the following resources to service a broadband connection request:

3 offices

11 visible people (1 for receiving the application, 9 at the user ID and password issuing office, and 1 to helpfully set up the contraption at your home)

Unknown number of invisible people (to move application from point A to B, to issue a modem to person A, to send and receive a request to Bangalore for user ID and password, et al, et cetera)

Sigh. I know. It's 31st July today. I filed my tax returns.

Loss for words

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 08:35:00 +0000

A colleague is babysitting his daughter today, so the little one has come to office. She is one of those types who mind when told to - so she's not touching anything, not talking to anybody, not banging the window panes, not peering into laptops but is largely amusing herself all by herself by running around the office, playing with a small ball, getting lost in the maze of cubicles, and laughing out aloud in joy.

That's when it struck me - there is no word in English for the pure laughter of a child. We have so many in Hindi - किलकारी , अटकेले, खिलखिलाना - but in English, it's just "laughter", plain and simple laughter.

I find myself at a loss for words.

Mutant words

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 06:22:00 +0000

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational had asked its readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. I thought that was fun, so here's my attempt:

With a letter added

prayfer: a prayer for the appearance of a specific object in the Christmas stocking

compunter: a computer that helps you place bets on software-offshoring companies in yet-to-be-developing nations

sufferling: a child of insufferable parents

abstinthe: to abstain from drinking absinthe while reading Wodehouse

extravagrant: to stay out of suitcases in the presidential suites of grand hotels

celeberate: when clueless celebrities gather in a TV studio to berate the policies of the government

With a letter deleted

banstand: a covered outdoor platform, across the busiest crossing of a city, where crowds gather for lighting candles to fight terrorism

univerity: a college that preaches universal truths

faceboo: to join a Facebook group created for taking potshots at a person, an object, or an idea

With a letter changed

inferface: a biometric interface that has sensors to figure out if your face has the characteristics of a jihadi killer

singelton: a gay singer

designame: to create self-explanatory designations from proper nouns. For example, Chief Satyam Officer

conpetition: a pre-judged competition on a TV reality show

euphomia: the feeling of intense happiness experienced by a megalomoaniac

Light a candle? What bullshit!

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 11:42:00 +0000

I was in school when Indira Gandhi was gunned down by her security guards. The months leading up to the assassination had seen India reeling under terrorist attacks from Khalisatani secessionists. My coming-of-age years were amidst notices in public places (and public transport) that went something along the lines "Do not touch any unclaimed object. It could be a bomb." My generation grew up with eyes peeled for any suspicious activity around them. Khalistan receded in the background...but Islamic fundamentalism appeared. India continues to be bombed regularly.

Which is why this Light-A-Candle thing seems so much of bullshit. Solemn-faced grown-ups and children will hold candles (with cardboard circles to protect their hands from the falling wax) and take a pledge to fight terrorism. Pray, how?

Translating wxdFast into Bengali

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:48:00 +0000

I am participating in the Decathalon project. Yesterday, I finished translating the user interface of wxdFast into Bengali.

STC-India's Pune conference

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 07:35:00 +0000

Fred Menezes, who's putting together the newsletter for STC-India's annual conference at Pune this year (Dec 11 - 13) asked me to prepare a crossword with the following specs: 20 X 20 grid, only technical communication clues, straight (not cryptic) clues.

Am almost done. Can hardly wait till it comes out coz I want feedback :-)

I'll put up the crossword at my wordplay site late night on Dec 13 (by which time it'll be public). In the meantime, am working on INDUS.

तुम जो कह दो तो आज की रात चाँद डूबेगा नहीं

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:15:00 +0000

... आसमाँ पर ये तिरंगा उम्र भर लहरायेगा...

Today, at 8:31 p.m. IST (roughly 10 minutes ago), the Indian flag touched the moon. India's very first moon mission, Chandrayaan-1, is spectacularly successful.

...A baby moon laughed sideways in the dark...

The financial advice columns may not have told you

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:42:00 +0000

Ready cash

On any given day, your ATM withdrawals and debit-card swipes, taken together, cannot exceed 25,000 rupees even if your account has a balance in the region of the next two significant digits.
Fixed deposits are not ready cash; liquidating them happens only during banking hours.

Covering the medical needs of your parents
In a medical emergency, you may need to fly business class to your hometown.

Retirement Planning

Your wife's haircut costs 10 times yours.
Your grandchild wants a balloon daily on your walks together. Or a chocolate.
General practitioners are a vanishing breed; speacialist doctors, by the very definition, have always charged more.
You may no longer be able to drive yourself everywhere; dinner invites may see you hiring safe transport.
You still need to go on vacations. And watch movies in theatres. And eat out.

The Outsider

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:29:00 +0000

"You are close to Sun", they cried.

This was an allegation Mercury could not refute. He was closer to Sun than anybody else; consequently, he saw Sun everywhere, in all beings, in all forms.

He hung is head and murmured, "But what is my crime?"

"You are an outsider", they raged.

"How am I an outsider", asked Mercury puzzled. He had always blended with the populace; he wore togas in Rome, spoke Bengali in Calcutta, and drank bird-nest-soup in Peking. He carried news of one place to the other, he saw so many worlds that they all were one to him, he owned houses in so many places that the entire trade-route was home...

"Your name is different", they cried.

"What's in a name", asked Mercury. "That which you call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet..."

But his voice was drowned by the cacophony that arose from the crowd.

"Stop him from speaking! He fools us!"
"Gag him! He has a wily tongue!"
"Kill him! He leads children astray!"
"Kill him! He's strange!"
"Kill him! He's different!"

"How am I different", cried out Mercury in anguish. "If you prick me, will I not bleed?"

इलाहाबाद की झाँकी - ५

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 14:12:00 +0000

आज छोटी दिवाली है ।

हमें उनका नाम नहीं पता । वो पिताजी के मरीज़ों में से थे, उनकी दुकान थी (शायद आज भी हो) बहादुरागंज में जी.टी. रोड पर, वहाँ हम जाते थे पिताजी के साथ पटाखे खरीदने । फुलझरी, हन्टर, मशाल, साँपटिकिया, चरखी, अनार - यह सब खरीदते थे । अनार तो वो कभी भी हमें डिब्बेवाली नहीं लेने देते थे, अन्दर से लेकर आते थे कुल्हड़नुमा मट्टी के गोल-गोल अनार, और कहते थे, "यह हमने अपने हाथ से बनाया है, ये ज़्यादा अच्छा है डिब्बेवाले अनार से ।" और बात सही भी थी - मुहल्ले में सभी के अनार तिकोननुमा क़ाग़ज़ के होते थे और अक्सर ठीक से जलते भी नहीं थे मगर हम लोगों के अनार हमेशा जलते थे और लाल-नीले-सुनहरे-रुपहले फूल बिखेरते थे । एक बार उन्होनें अपना बनाया हुआ मशाल दिया था - बहुत देर तक जलता था और ख़ूब रोशनी बिखेरता था । एक बार हमें बड़ा मन था गड्डा खरीदने का, तो वो नाराज़ होकर बोले थे, "बच्चों को इन सब चीज़ों से नहीं खेलना चाहिये", और पिताजी की ओर देखकर बोले थे, "इन सब चीज़ों में बस आवाज़ के अलावा कुछ भी नहीं है, जलाकर अपना भी दिल ख़ुश भी नहीं होता, औरों को भी दिक्कत होती है। इन्हें ज़िद करने दीजिए, आप यह सब मत खरीदिए ।"

मालूम नहीं आज के दुकानदार भी यूँ ही ग्राहकों को मना करते हैं सामान खरीदने से या नहीं ।

Gmails have emoticons

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 05:30:00 +0000

Fridays, one doesn't feel like working. Especially if the next week is the Diwali week, in preparation for which almost the entire team has proceeded on vacation, and the office is deserted.
I grumpily opened my Gmail today, and I was inordinately pleased to spot a bright spot in my mails.

A click expands the emoticon palette:

And, there's the chat-emoticon palette as well:

Now, if only I could've had mouse-over text for these nice thingumajigs, my pre-Diwali weekend would've been perfect.

Crossword - 2 (Grammar)

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 19:09:00 +0000

If you want to see a larger picture, click the picture.
If you want the answers, send me an email.

Deleting mails in Gmail

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I have been around since before Gmail. When I need to delete an email, I select the checkbox to the left of the email, and press Delete. Much like this:

Then came along Gmail, with its concept of conversations. Emails with the same header got stacked together into a single mail file, like this:

When I open the email, all messages get displayed like this:

Don't worry, said Google. You'll never have to delete an email again, we have given you ample space, said Google.

Why, then, was I not happy? Well, if there are 23 conversations like this all stacked together, there may be one or two messages among them that I don't want to keep. Why wouldn't I want to keep them? So that, at a later date, I have only the important mails in the thread, not all the Hi-Hello types - it would make my life that bit simpler. A conversation I wouldn't want to retain, for example, is this one:

Till today, I lived with all messages - useful and useless - stacked up in Gmail conversations. I didn't know how to delete some messages from the bunch.

Till today. Then I figured out thus:

I always knew I was dumb. This time, the dumbness lasted for more than...let me see...4 years I think.

GoogleLabs for Gmail

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 07:47:00 +0000

Cool features I use

Signature tweaks: My signature gets appended at the end of the email I am writing currently, and not at the end of the entire mail trail.
Custom date formats: The date gets displayed the way I like it - day first, followed by the month and the year. The time gets displayed the way I like it - with an a.m. or a p.m.
Right-side chat: The paid ads that appear at the right of the screen get replaced with the chat box. Which means, I can see the chat box at the right at the same time as I see the label box at the left. Earlier, I would've had to scroll the page down to see chats and labels at the same time, because the chat box and the label box would be placed one below the other. An alternative is the right-side labels feature.

The Right-side chat and Right-side labels features do not work in Internet Explorer 6.

Forgotten Attachment Detector: A reminder is displayed if I've mentioned the root word "attach" anywhere in my mail, and have not attached the file. I need to make allowances for the following scenarios:
- When I write "...the attachment shown by the minister to the chair is ....". I don't need the reminder.
- When my language settings are English and I'm composing the mail French and I've written something like "...le fichier ci-joint...". I do need the reminder but it works only if the language of the email is the same as the language settings of my Gmail account.

Cool features I don't use

Email Addict: An admonition is displayed if I've been glued to Gmail for an inordinate amount of time. What's more, the Gmail screen gets blosked for 15 minutes. I don't use it because I don't chat at work, and because I don't reply to non-work email from work unless the non-work email relates to a matter of life and death.
Advanced IMAP controls: A two-way connection gets created between a mail client and Gmail. The mail client can be on another computer, or on a mobile device. I don't use it because I don't intend to use Gmail for work, and when I am not at work I don't check work emails. I don't intend to use my mobile phone to read and send emails.
Default 'Reply to all': Because I am subscribed to quite a few mailing lists.
Mail Goggles: During a time period of a day that I've specified, every time I click "Send", a series of maths questions are displayed. The questions are mutiplications and substractions of usually two-digit numbers. If I answer the questions correctly, the mail I've written gets "Sent". The assumption is that if I've had one drink too many and have written a mail that I'll regret later, I may be too sozzled to answer the maths questions correctly. I don't use it because I don't drink, smoke, or inhale inebriating stuff. Neither do I write anything when I am angry.
Holiday Time!: If I specify my vacation dates, and specify an auto-reply text, the out-of-office reply gets sent to whoever mails me during those days. I don't use it so that I can escape spambots. And also because I always inform only those who need to know of my absence, not the entire population.

Currency crossword

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:29:00 +0000

The currency names I have put in this grid include those that were in existence before Euro came into being.

To see a larger-sized image, click on the picture.
To know the correct answers, email me. Or, Google!

The Interpreter of Maladies

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:25:00 +0000

There was this gentleman called Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi who, by the dint of his belief in moral suasion, gathered an army around himself and gave the British, who were ruling India at that time, a very difficult time. Gandhi subsequently made it to, and stays on in, the currency notes of independent India. He is also the official Father of the Nation, and on his birthday, October 2, slaughter of goats etc. and selling of that meat is prohibited by law because Gandhi stood for non-violence.

Thus it happens that if Eid falls on October 2, like it did this year, people celebrating Eid go around wondering how much through the roof will the price of meat shoot (given that people who celebrate Eid have, on the most part, a predominantly non-vegetarian cuisine).

I, personally, have always despised this "forcing down my throat" of beliefs. Gandhi, I believe, stood for non-violent persuasion (as did Mahaveer Jain, btw, on whose birthday also the killing of animals is banned), and turning anything into law takes away the non-violent character thereof.

But, lawmakers in this country find it expedient to violently turn stuff into law. Thus, the Hon'ble Union Minister for Health chose October 2 to implement a Government Order that bans smoking in public places. Smoking kills, he says.

Oh yeah! Gimme a break. In the absence of a public health policy in the country, where the government does not treat people for free even in its govt-run hospitals, pray how is a smoker a liability to the Hon'ble Union Minister for Health?

Smoking kills; so do the noxious fumes emitted by the tons of vehicles plying on the creaking infrastructure called Indian cities. Smoking does not kill any more or any less than that. But I now know what else it does. If you smoke today, you'll be chased by a policeman looking for some easy money.

And Gandhi lives on only on the currency notes, his belief in moral suasion totally forgotten.

হেথায় তোরে মানাইছে না রে

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 16:26:00 +0000

এলাহাবাদে আমার জন্ম, সেখানেই আমার লেখাপড়া-বড়হওয়া | দূর্গাপুজোয় বাড়ীর শিউলিগাছের ফুল কুড়িয়ে পাড়ার পুজোবাড়ী যাওয়া, উপোস করে পুষ্পাঞ্জলী সেরে বোঁদে প্রসাদ খাওয়া, ষষ্ঠীর সন্ধ্য়াতে আগমনী শোনা, সপ্তমি থেকে নবমী পর্য্য়ন্ত নাটক-নৃত্য়নাটিকা দেখা, এই করেই বড় হয়েছি |

আজ বেশ ক'বছর হল চাকুরীসূত্রে আমি প্রবাসী, সুদূর বাঙ্গালোরে থাকি, প্রত্য়েক বার পূজোতে বাড়ী যাওয়া হয়ে উঠেনা | এ বছর মা-বাবার এখানে আসবার প্ল্য়ান ছিল, শেষ মুহুর্তে ক্য়ানসেল হয়ে যায় | মন খারাপ, ভেবেছিলাম এখানকার পুজোবাড়িতে আর কী-ই বা যাব, অপিস-ও এমন অদ্ভুত যে কেবল দশমীর ছুটি দিয়েছে, বাঙ্গালোরবাসিদের জন্য় নবমী তো বেশ বড় দিন, তার-ও ছুটি দেয়নি, মোট কথা বড়‍ই বাজে ব্য়াপার |
আজ রবিবার, ষষ্ঠী, মা কুরিয়ার করে নতুন জামা পাঠিয়েছেন ষষ্ঠী থেকে নবমী পর্য্য়ন্ত পরবার জন্য়, তাই আজ বিকেলে নতুন জামা পরে গুটি-গুটি পায়ে কোরামঙ্গলা পূজোবাড়ীতে গেলাম |

আমি যখন ঢুকছি সে সময় বাচ্চাদের নাচ চলছে স্টেজে, ছোট-ছোট সব ছেলেমেয়েরা সেজেগুজে নাচছে এই গানের তালে তালে:

হেথায় তোরে মানাইছে না রে, ইক্কিবারে মানাইছে না রে

===========================================

इलाहाबाद की झाँकी - ४

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:46:00 +0000

कल का दिन महालया अमावस्या का था, आज करण घोड़ा निकलेगा । यह करण घोड़ा है राजा दशरथ के अश्वमेध यज्ञ का घोड़ा । हिवेट रोड स्थित रीवा महाराज के अहाते से यह घोड़ा निकलकर रामबाग के हनुमान मन्दिर से लगे मैदान तक जायेगा, फिर वहाँ से वापस लौटेगा । इसी घोड़े से शुरु होती है हमारे इलाहाबाद के रामलीला की । यह लीला चलेगी दस दिनों तक, यूँ :

पहले दिन: करण घोड़ा
दूसरे दिन: विश्वमित्र यज्ञ, ताड़का वध, अहल्या उद्धार
तीसरे दिन: राम-लखन का जनकपुरी आगमन, फुलवारी लीला
चौथे दिन: राजा जनक का धनुष यज्ञ, सीता स्वयंवर, राम-लखन-सीता का अयोध्या आगमन
पाँचवे दिन: कैकेई प्रसंग, राम-लखन-सीता का वन गमन, राजा दशरथ का निधन
छठे दिन: पंचवटी निवास, सूर्पनखा प्रसंग, खर-दूषण वध
सातवे दिन: सीताहरण, जटायु प्रसंग, वाली वध
आठवे दिन: सुग्रीव का राजतिलक, हनुमान द्वारा लंका दहन, विभीषण का रामाश्रयागमन
नौवे दिन: लक्ष्मण-मेघनाद युद्ध, मेघनाद वध, कुम्भकर्ण वध
दसवे दिन: रावण वध

रामलीला की चौकी निकलती है शाम के समय, लीला खेलकर चौकी लौटती है रात को । तीसरे दिन से देर रात को निकलती है शृंगार चौकी । बड़े ही मनभावन ढंग से इन चौकियों की सजावट की जाती है, एक-एक दिन एक-एक प्रकार का, यूँ:

तृतीया को: कमल रथ
चतुर्थी को: मयूर रथ
पंचमी को: हनुमान रथ
षष्ठी को: पुष्प-कदली रथ
सप्तमी को: जड़ाऊ रथ
अष्टमी को: कृष्णा-नन्दी रथ
नवमी को: शेषनाग रथ
दशमी को: श्री रामचन्द्र के विजय की शोभा यात्रा

दसवें दिन इस शोभा यात्रा में सम्मिलित होती हैं और भी ढेरों चौकियाँ - रामायण के एक-एक घटना को दर्शाते हुए । जगह-जगह पर इस शोभा-यात्रा को रोककर श्री रामचन्द्र की आरती उतारी जाती है । जब यह शोभायात्रा सुलाकी चौराहे के निकट पहुँचती है, वहाँ पर आकाश में मँडराते हुए हनुमानजी की गदा खुल जाती है और गदा से निकलपर फूल बरस पड़ते हैं रामचन्द्र पर । और, उमड़े हुए भीड़ से गूंज उठती है रामचन्द्र की जयजयकार ।

Welcome to Sajjanpur: Rather unwelcome

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:15:00 +0000

==============================================================
Director: Shyam Benegal
Cast: Shreyas Talpade, Amrita Rao, Ila Arun, Divya Dutta...
==============================================================

One day someone asked me, "Who are your favourite movie directors?" I didn't think even for a minute but launched rightaway into a list of names. My interrogator blinked, and said, "Any living directors?" I paused, thought for less than 10 seconds, and said, "Shyam Benegal".

Which is why Welcome to Sajjanpur is more than a disappointment for me.

Yes, I could see the Shyam Benegal bits in the movie - the blithe observations about Indian politics, the cameos that even small characters get to do, the collection of "Benegal favourites" in the film.

And yet, if I may say so, the film sucks. Had it been any other director, my reaction would not have been this strong but, well, I expect the moon from Shyam Benegal, and therefore, the following things jarred. And badly.

The village looks straight out of Ramoji. Or, Film City.
The lead actor cannot speak Hindi. Or whatever language it was that he was trying to speak.
The lead actor has questionable character - on one hand, he is intelligent enough and up-to-date enough to write a hard-hitting political street-play; on the other hand, he is (or seems to be) a simple village bloke who is easily intimidated by the local goon or a snake charmer, and who cannot understand why women use their pallus to wipe their eyes when they cry. If these nuances were deliberate in the plot, the lead actor seems to have done a shoddy job of acting.
There's hamming - the kinds you expect in David Dhawan's films. Ravi Kissen hams, Lalit Mohan Mishra hams, and so do a few more actors whose names I do not know. Hamming in a Shyam Benegal film?
The tea-cups and saucers have visible identification marks on them. Marks of ownership of the prop-supplying company. What was the cameraman doing?
There's a girl who drives a Scooty in the village. She is a village girl who goes to work on her Scooty. I know Hindi films call for a willing suspension of belief but hey, this is a Benegal film.
The songs were absolutely unnecessary. Besides, they were tuneless.
And then, there's the district collector who unfolds letters himself, reads them, and barks out orders. I can bet my last paisa that no district collector in India, no, not even the honest, upright ones who really work for the country, ever function this way - the offices of the district collectors do not function this way.

The saving grace of the whole movie, I think, is Ila Arun. She reinforced yet again a long-held belief of mine - she's a great actress whose talent has never been exploited fully.

A Wednesday: More than a day-ful

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:27:00 +0000

=================================================================
Director: Neeraj Pandey (who's also written the script and the dialogues)
Cast: Naseeruddin Shah, Anupam Kher, Jimmy Sheirgill (yup, that's how it was spelt in the credits), Amir Bashir
=================================================================
The film opens with Naseer walking into the VT station of Bombay, keeping a black travel bag on a platform, and hurrying away. He then wanders around a bit in the city (the patchy background projection is rather irritating), and finally walks into a police station , another bag slung across his shoulder. He registers a complaint, walks into the toilet, leaves his bag there in a corner, and hurries out. And, you can feel the palpable tension in the audience at the movie theatre.

Thereafter, Naseer climbs all the steps of an under-construction high-rise, pulls back the dust casing from a table with sophisticated looking equipment (laptop, wires, TV set), calls up the city's commissioner of police (played by Anupam Kher) and demands that four terrorists, currently incarcerated in different Bombay jails, be set free and handed over to him. Otherwise, he says in his cultured voice, the bombs that he's planted across the city would go off that evening.

The movie begins...and ends 2.5 hours later. Want to know more? Go watch the film. It doesn't have any songs. Does it have a background score? I am unable to recollect - I was too busy watching. On a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 represents the lowest rating, I'd rate A Wednesday as a 4.5 movie. Why did I hold back 0.5? Because of some scenes that did not seem quite right. Like the background projection of Bombay in Naseer's opening scenes. Or, the scene where one of the terrorists spits out the betel juice but doesn't quite get it right. Or the scene with those two "standing-by" people at a TV live news coverage. Or the scene where Anupam Kher drives his police car to the place where he drove to - how does he know the address? Small things like that.

And, why did I give it a 4.5? It is, I think, a brilliant movie. It engages the audience right from the beginning - expecting the audience to figure out things and draw conclusions. The direction, and the camera, is efficient. The dialogues are good. The editing is fabulous. The screenplay is matter-of-fact and no-nonsense. For example, the dedication of the young police officers, Amir Bashir and Jimmy Sheirgill, is shown without any jingioism. The utter ridiculousness of TV news coverages is handled with finesse. There are subtle cock-a-snooks at the bureaucracy. There are the quietly shown ground realities that the police works with. And there's Naseer - absolutely brilliant.

Don't miss this movie. Go, watch it in a movie theatre. You'll love it. There are no songs, no sub-plots, no diversions - only a one-track plot that focusses on the task at hand - how to save a city that has bombs planted all over it. On a wednesday.

Approaching senility

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 06:23:00 +0000

I do not hear the cars and bikes that honk needlessly behind me, urging me to squeeze into that 2 inch space between the car ahead of me and the kerb, and I do not turn to glare at their drivers.
I do not see the humour in Govinda's films, or the pathos in K3G.
I do not chew upon words tossed by a bunch of relatives gaggling at a wedding (or a funeral).
I do not digest overfried potato-cakes, dunked in tasteless cheese and garnished with chilly flakes, trying to pass of as Italian cuisine.
I do not walk to school and run home: I run to office and walk thoughtfully home.

I am growing old.

Maan Gaye Mughal-e-Azam: Really?

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 10:55:00 +0000

Rahul Roy, Mallika Sherawat, Paresh Rawal, Kay Kay - I was intrigued enough to walk down to the movie theatre and have a look.

The story is about a small-town theatre company, which produces plays that usually star Majumdar (Paresh) and his wife (Mallika) in lead roles. It generally stages plays such as Mughal-e-Azam, Tughlaq, etc but its actors are bored and decide to do something new. Jago India Jago, their new play, plans to expose the nexus between politicians and the underworld (yawn), but is stopped from being staged by the local policeman, who is in the pay of the underworld (yawn). So, the drama company is back to the tried and tested Mughal-e-Azam. Enter Arjun (Rahul Bose), a young front-seater who falls head-over-heels with Anarkali (Mallika) and regularly keeps meeting her in the green room, even when the play is on (where Paresh plays Akbar). Majumdar is very aware of his young wife’s charm and is very suspicious of this good-looking young man who keeps walking away from the theatre hall every time Akbar launches into a soliloquy (while Anarkali is back stage) - and thus you have three dance sequences, with Mallika in minimal clothing sharing screen-space with lover-boy Rahul and jealous husband Paresh. So far so good.

Somewhere along the way, the plot becomes a mishmash of Jane Bhi Do Yaaron and Sarfarosh. There’s this sinister plan to smuggle in RDX and blow up the country, a plan hatched by an evil don who resides in Dubai and who’s helped by a ghazal singer who flirts more and sings less, and by a small-town baddie whose weapon of choice is a cable (cable as in cable-wires used for cable connections to homes with TV sets). But the brave actors of the drama company, with help from Rahul (who turns out to be a RAW officer), prevent such evil designs, and face bullets gallantly with Vande Mataram on their lips. Sinister plan foiled and India lives.

If you’ve watched and enjoyed the 1942 English movie To Be Or Not To Be, don’t watch this film. If you live in a metro where movie tickets cost more than 150 rupees (popcorn and coke extra), don’t watch this film. If you want to see Mallika, she actually does a decent job when she’s fully clothed - so, you’ll have to decide whether you want to watch the film for those three tuneless song sequences. If you want to watch Paresh - his Dominoes ad is better. If you want to watch Rahul, well, go ahead and see the film. And did I forget to mention Kay Kay Menon? No, I did not. Only, I am heartbroken at such utter waste of talent. The direction is insipid, the dialogues are forced and try too hard, the cinematography is adequate, the music is bad, and the cast is, well, good. The actors are all fine performers who struggle valiantly to resurrect this sad take-off of the English original To Be Or Not To Be. Which is not to be.

Give it a miss.

Arjun had tunnel vision

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 17:54:00 +0000

So, the princes had spend several years with their guru, learning all that they could. Now their guru, Dron, felt that the princes were ready. But before he could pronounce them fit, he decided he'd take a test.

So, he located a tree with terribly high branches, and placed a tiny wooden bird on the highest branch. Then, he gathered the princes, pointed to the bird, and said, "I want you to hit the eye of the bird".

[Disclaimer: We shall not discuss the fairness of the test.]

So, the princes all looked at the bird, at one another, and then they picked up their bows and arrows and made themselves ready to take a shot. Yudhishthir, being the eldest, had the first go.

So, there stood Prince Yudhishthir, bow raised, arrow pointed towards the general direction of the bird, ready to shoot when Dron asked, "What do you see my boy".
The prince answered, "I see you, Gurudev, and my brothers, and the tree, and the bird."
The guru said, "Step away! You won't be able to hit the target."

So it happened that one by one, the princes came, took aim, were asked the same question, gave the same answer, and were asked to step away...till it was Arjun who stood there, bow raised, arrow aimed, ready to shoot.
"And what do you see my child?" asked Dron.
"I see the bird, Gurudev", answered the prince.
"Do you see the whole bird, child?" asked the teacher.
"No, I see only the eye", said Arjun.
The guru was pleased. "Let go of the arrow, child", he said.
No sooner were the words out of the guru's mouth, the arrow flew from Arjun's bow, hit the eye of the bird, and split the toy into two.

Everyone applauded. Arjun went one to become on of the heroes of this longest epic in the world. And such heroes, like we were told ever since we were kids, are eminently emulate-able.

But, I am not sure whether such tunnel vision is suitable for technical writers. Do we need to focus on one area only, or do we aim at being generalists?

Should we miss the wood for the trees?

Cycling to and fro

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:04:00 +0000

Day 1 was a bit of a disaster. I fell twice - once on the way to office and the other on the way back home.

Ok, so the background is that I got myself a bicycle last Saturday, intending to bicycle to and from work. Today is Monday.

I used to be an enthusiastic cycle-user in my childhood. I would take it everywhere - to the school that was 8 miles away, to a friend's house that was about 15 miles away, to the vegetable market that was a 10 minute walk - everywhere, in fact. I thought it wouldn't be too difficult to resume from where I left off.

Turns out that I was wrong. Like I mentioned, I fell twice today. Once towards the right side when I grazed an ankle (but a passing cyclist anticipated the fall and broke it and saved some pain); the other time towards the left when I grazed my knee (trying to avoid a silly looking pebble - and all because I was more concerned about the laptop than myself).

The fact that I stand just about 5 feet in my socks doesn't help matters.

But I think that things will improve by and by. I must surely have been little-er in school, and the cycles have evidently not gained in height when I wasn't looking, so all it's gonna take is a bit of adjusting to.

The high points of the day? A passing motorcyclist slowed down, looked back, pushed up his visor, smiled, and gave a thumbs-up. And a car behind me DID NOT HONK when I was negotiating a puddle.

Issues by Oversight

noreply@blogger.com (Anindita Basu) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:32:00 +0000

"How did this happen?" - fuming
"The mistake happened by oversight." - sheepish
"How? If there was oversight, it couldn't have happened." - ready to burst
"Eh?" - puzzled
"How-could-it-happen-if-there-was-oversight?" - speaking to a two-year old.
"It happened because of oversight." - trailing off mid-sentence.
"I just don't understand. If someone was overseeing this, it should have been caught and logged as a defect." - back to getting-ready-to-burst.
"Oh! No, no. No one was overseeing. That is why it happened. No one oversaw." - words tumbling out in hurry, now that comprehension has dawned.

How often have we said something that has meant something else to the listener? Oversight to some may mean watchful and responsible care; to others, an inadvertent omission or error. To avoid ambiguity, maybe we need to dumb things down, become verbose, lose a bit of terseness?

I am reminded of the following sentence that I overheard during a long train-journey.

"What! Even after 10 years of marriage, they are not having any issues?"

No, I am not commenting upon their having and holding. I am commenting on issues. Two possible interpretations of the sentence are:

* Even after being married so long, they do not have any children.

* Despite being together for so long, they manage not to have any problems with each other.

Hmm.

And I recall the puzzlement of an American friend of mine.
"How can you speak on a mobile? I love mobiles, but I hang them on my porch."