The Talking Box

Little People, Big World: Amy's Book, Matt's Land

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 23:30:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Wow - another special so soon? Though I suspect that some of the activities going on are rather out-of-order. We see Tori but it's stated that Jeremy only moved to Santa Barbara two months ago. So, who knows if all of the events actually took place after the previous specials, and whether Matt's buying more property and Amy's selling a cookbook happened simultaneously. But, it doesn't really matter all that much... I'm glad that we're getting updates on the Roloff family, even though we're not getting the full series anymore. Molly and Jacob were both pretty absent in this episode, and the twins only took up a small portion. Really, this looked at Matt and Amy and their individual goals. Luckily, they support one another, regardless of how much they disagree.

Photo: TLC

Little People, Big World "Battle for the Farm" (Special): Matt feels like he needs to expand and start a new dream, as all of his other projects are completed. [I can't be the only one who doesn't believe this... you know he's got SOMETHING that's only half-done!] The property next door becomes available, and buying it would triple the size of the Roloff Farm, to over 100 acres. Plus, Matt says that it's half the price it's worth, so it's a good investment for the future. Amy is concerned about how much more work it will be, so Matt goes to town in talking about the property's barn, the house, and the farmland. [they don't need yet another barn. Yeah, maybe it would be handy to have "an extra house in case one of the kids needs a place to stay," but realistically, that's a bad reason. And yes, it's handy that the seller would potentially work as a farmer, but I'm thinking they'd need more help than that!] He even comes up with some ideas of what Amy could do on the property. But, while he's suggesting blueberries, she wonders how they're going to grow enough pumpkins to afford it all. She doesn't want to spend every waking hour being cash-poor and asset-rich. [and she's right... they are getting up there in years.] Matt talks to Zach about subletting the house on the potential new property, but he's only interested for a few days. After that, he realizes that it isn't worth moving and paying rent to live so close. [good point, though I think Jeremy kinda pushed him into that mindset.] Matt's biggest fear in life is boredom, so he keeps pushing it, saying that, if nothing else, it would be a good investment for the kids. [...provided that they'd want it?] Amy remains unsold right up until they're at the bank, where she hesitates but finally signs. [that must have been a very difficult decision... I was truly curious as to what she'd decide to do in the end!]

Anyway, while Matt is focused on the new land, Amy is working on making a dream of her own a reality. See, she has wanted to create her own cookbook for like twenty years, and she feels like now is the time. Apparently she's had a flair for the culinary since she was twelve years old, and when she graduated with a degree in hospitality, she thought about owning or running a restaurant. [wow! how different would that be!] She throws together a dinner party for some friends so she can test some of her recipes, then has the various family members try others. Part of her problem is that she doesn't always measure things, so she needs to work on figuring out how much of this and that is in these things. [this is the main reason why I can't make my mother's signature dishes. She doesn't measure, plus she'll sometimes substitute whatever's on hand and manage to make it work. I'm too exact for that... I level-off my dry measures and whatnot so everything is always precise.] After calling a few publishers, she meets with one who is interested. He helps guide her into creating a stronger proposal. [I thought the uneasiness in her voice really stood out, since she normally seems to be much more confident.] She tries more recipes and works on the proposal quite a bit, and in the end, a large national publisher is interested. Amy talks about the idea being for those who don't know much about cooking AND busy mothers. He likes the layout, and the book will be called Short and Simple, coming out this October. [wow... I imagine that Amy will be doing some things to publicize it... right in the middle of pumpkin season! eek!]

A few other tidbits that took place... Zach drives down to Santa Barbara to visit Jeremy for a few days. Jeremy has a roommate now, and it looks like a different space than where he moved originally. Jeremy has taken an interest in rock climbing. Also in the episode, Jeremy flies up to visit the family when Amy's parents come to visit. While there, he acts like the typical college kid who needs a lot of money... particularly a $4k camera and a bunch of software. [geez! though photography is a very expensive thing to start up... take it from someone who has a couple family members intrigued by the pastime!]

The Simpsons: The First Episode in The Outlands

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 22:30:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, the episode said to go outside and take in some fresh air before telling the internet about how much it sucked... but I don't really think that it did. It was neither the best nor the worst episode of The Simpsons, and I honestly found it to be pretty average. There were some disappointing moments, but there were also some great and memorable ones. Aside from the idea that Springfield wouldn't be the same without the Simpson family, it wasn't terribly momentous. And, part of me has to question hoe genuine that idea was... the possibility exists that the writers just had to come up with a way to make things return to status quo... and if the family can't come to the town, bring the town to the family! Still, I'd like to think that, despite all of the ridiculous hijinks that have happened over the years, Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie really have dug in their heels and "made" Springfield what it is.

The Simpsons "At Long Last Leave" (S23E14): We open with some funny gags. The chalkboard has Milhouse writing "Bart's Earned a Day Off." [I love it!] The couch gag is a speedy flip-thru of many of the different things that they've done over the years with the family. [nice. I can hardly wait until someone takes the time to freeze-frame the entire thing and correlate which episode every image is from!] The family takes part in a disaster drill, but it almost seems fake because the news anchor keeps flipping between it being a drill and China having declared war on the US. [creepy.] The family goes to their bomb shelter.... but they don't stay the full three hours. Instead, they decide to drive around and see the town empty. [it is always weird. I've done this right after hurricanes before, and the emptiness is downright creepy.] City Hall is packed, though, so the family goes to find out why. Lo and behold, the town is voting to boot out the Simpson family! The city is going broke cleaning up after Homer's shenanigans. [haha! and good point, Maggie doesn't cry...] Marge speaks on behalf of the family, talking about how they're not monsters, but it doesn't help. In fact, Homer is tarred and feathered, and the whole family is brought to the city line. [how did they get a car full of stuff then?]

CR: FOX

Lisa reads What to Expect When You're Ejected as they drive off without a plan. A dead Simpson is worth a soda, so the family is a bit worried. But, they soon stumble upon "The Outlands," an unincorporated settlement. They settle in and we're treated to a parody of the typical Springfield opening, but with the family living in The Outlands. The couch gag part features the family watching a fox rather than a TV. [haha!] They have motorbikes and four wheelers, but Maggie becomes a fighter and Marge has to take eggs from a snake hole. [weird wikileaks references.] Marge is homesick, so Homer brings her back to Springfield, with her dressed as Smithers and he as Mr. Burns. [the costumes were so bad. but still funny!] It doesn't last long, however, and they head back to The Outlands, where they're not unwanted. [haha at Smithers wanting a kiss from Burns. the monkey threw me off, though.] But, Lenny soon comes to the Outlands, then more and more folks from Springfield. Even Mayor Quimby arrives, saying that they need a corrupt city government. [worth a laugh.] Skinner seems to be the sole survivor in Springfield, wondering where everyone went. Bart comes back for him on a small helicopter, but bangs Skinner into things as they fly away. [I think that we were all a bit surprised that Bart was the one to go back for Skinner (including Skinner!), but what are you without your foil!]

Hot in Cleveland: Facebook Stalking

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 21:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I'm not going to lie... I know what most of my ex-boyfriends are up to, thanks to facebook. There's two in particular with no easily-obtainable information online (one's last name is Smith, I don't know the other's last name, and I don't remember what high schools either of them went to), but I otherwise go stalking from time to time, looking at pictures of their children and reading about their new jobs. It's handy. I thought it was a great idea to have an episode where the ladies used the internet to find out what their old flames are up to now. I don't like that we're on a cliffhanger for a while, and I'm also not sure why they're making two of the women go after the same man YET AGAIN. But, the bird could be a nice addition for a while - the dog certainly made for some great comedy! Plus, I've pretty much given up on Victoria acting committed to anybody, so I am starting to just ignore her love-life storylines... anyone else?

Hot in Cleveland "Lost Loves" (S03E12): The ladies talk about their long-lost crushes and loves: Melanie talks of a boy from her high school days, Elka talks about Max, Victoria talks about her first husband, Clark, and Joy talks about Kyle, the runaway groom. They decide to find their respective men, though Elka is a bit reserved, plus she is currently boycotting Facebook because of the new design. [hahahaha!]

(ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL)

After some online interaction, Clark comes to the house to greet Victoria. He looks vastly different because of his time in the South American wild [haha on "he ordered something on Amazon that made him small.] Clark brings his parrot, Barry, who mistakenly repeats some things the ladies were saying. Barry gets the impression that he repulses Victoria, but all is mended when he says that there is something in Peru that removes wrinkles. In fact, he and Victoria head off into the night to fly to Peru, leaving Elka in charge of Barry.

Nick and Melanie flirt online, and she learns that he's on a trip in the area. So, she shows up at his place, wearing just a swim jacket, since Elka comments that men like it when women are naked under raincoats. [haha] However, his pregnant wife and three sons are there, too. [oh goodness!] The wife soon goes into labor, so Melanie is left to watch the sons. Luckily, a guy comes to help her after one of the boys runs off.

Joy goes overboard and hacks into Kyle's accounts, emails, and GPS to learn about him. [I love it!] She never found out why he left her at the altar. She writes an email but doesn't send it. Late at night, Elka decides to message Kyle as Joy, and they set a date. [of course. Elka would do that.] Joy brings Elka along to explain things, but they get sidetracked when they're stuck in an elevator... with Max (who works in the building) and a newlywed couple. It doesn't take too long for Max and Elka to fall for each other again. By the time the elevator is working again, Joy isn't able to find Kyle on the rooftop. Later, she goes to unfriend Kyle, and we see his picture... he's the same guy who is with Melanie! [uh oh. glad they threw in that explanation about how the ladies have never seen a picture of Kyle!]

[Note: Hot in Cleveland is now on a three-week hiatus, and when it returns, Happily Divorced will return as well.]

Suburgatory: Changing People

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

You can't change the way other people think and act. Tessa realizes this while running for student body president. Lisa's brother, "The Body," realizes this when he's mourned after a major injury. Lisa realizes this when her parents forget the attention they were giving her after her brother "is healed." Students will continue to want "easy" classes like gym, attention won't be given to those who don't stand out in the crowd, and Sheila and her husband will continue to shower praise on their child who is an athletic star. These aren't great things, but in Chatswin, they're truth. Unfortunately, there's another truth: bodies matter. In this episode, Ryan is held in the highest esteem because of his athleticism when it comes to the wrestling mat, and is ignored as soon as he's temporarily in a wheelchair. The student body president resigns because she's gained weight. The basis of Kaitlyn and Kamantha's campaign is that they have tight bodies. Dallas won't be satisfied until she has the whitest teeth possible. FIVE blatant instances of the importance placed on the body. Now, I know that the title of the episode is "The Body," so that could very well be what they're going for, but doesn't it disturb you? Even in the "this fictional world is awful" way?

Suburgatory "The Body" (S01E14): Lisa's brother is an excellent wrestler and has earned the nickname, "The Body." Everyone treats him like gold and carries him around on their shoulders. Sheila's family has a celebratory dinner of venison marinara for him, but he had burgers with his friends so he's not hungry. This pisses off Lisa, who was made to wait an unknown (but presumably long) period of time to eat. [I couldn't believe that even his parents carried him to the car!] When Ryan loses a meet and tears his ACL, the family hold the equivalent of a wake for him. His parents begin to treat Lisa like Ryan doesn't exist - giving her his dessert and asking about what she'd like for dinner. Ryan feels disowned, so he goes to George's and asks to live there. [SO awkward!] George takes him to talk to a disabled artist, then sings him a song with a guitar, which teaches him to play through the pain... though he takes it to a bit of an extreme. In fact, hee gets out of his wheelchair with tons of pain, struggles around the yard a bit, then walks home, trampling the one flower in George's garden. [oh yeah, there's a mini-story going on about George deciding to garden. nothing really happens, tho.] Ryan requests "tuna and shells" for dinner because it's Lisa's favorite, though he does insult her a few times along the way. [I liked that he did something nice, even if he doesn't understand why.]

(ABC/MICHAEL ANSELL)

Lisa actually did have something to celebrate... she's a campaign manager at school. See, the student body president has stepped down because of "unexpected fatness," and Dalia's friends, the "thin twins," are running on a platform that would double the gym requirement. [did the former president drop out of school or what? you'd think we'd hear from her during the campaign otherwise. Plus, doesn't the VP normally step up in situations like this?] Tessa opposes this (she's failing gym and thinks that it shouldn't take the place of academic class time), so she runs against them. Dalia acts as the campaign manager for the twins, and Lisa is Tessa's. But, the first of twelve [!!] debates is "why are you so fly?," to which the twins write and perform a song for "The Body," while Tessa talks about "what makes a hero." But, when she's getting no support, she busts out an impromptu song about the kid in class who got a perfect score on his PSATs. [both songs = bad.] She also talks about how sports are dumb and proposes that they make gym an elective, which only causes the student body to think she's "racist" against jocks. Tessa decides that she won't change these people, so she quits the election. But, since Dalia got bored running the other campaign, Tessa finagled the spot for Lisa. [isn't "campaign manager" close enough to "event planner" that Dalia should be thrilled? Or no, since the budget is so much smaller?]

There's also a short plot about Dallas whitening her teeth. Noah won't go whiter, since it'll leave her with sensitive gums, so she goes somewhere else to make them "as white as is legal." [We're supposed to believe that Noah turning down Dallas is actually because he's taking her husband's side with the divorce... but that didn't come through very well.]

The Middle: Who Doesn't Know the Pledge?

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 21:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I know I'm not the first person to say this - but this show functions so much better when one or more of the storylines focus on Frankie and Mike. In this episode, Mike helps Brick and Frankie helps Sue, but both adults have small roles in the actual plots. Not that those plots are amazing. But, I liked this episode because it took place on this show. Finding something to do in a small town (Axl's plotline), going crazy to get tickets to a concert in "the big city" (Sue), and taking part in something that could get you somewhere (Brick) are all things that are very The Middle. Sometimes the episodes could take place anywhere... other times they have to be in the suburbs, but still Anytown, USA. But, we are still often treated to episodes that are so quintessentially "middle of nowheresville" that they really bring out the original premise of the comedy very well. And, they sometimes manage (like this episode does) to gently remind us of the important role of family, which is sadly lacking in many of today's family shows.

The Middle "The Concert" (S03E16): [I'm starting with Axl because his storyline was the funniest.] Axl drives along with a couple of buddies when they pass a speed limit sign that tells you how fast you're going. Axl makes a comment about how slow 15 mph is, so the guys decide to try and break the speed limit on foot. [classic small-town, nothing-better-to-do activity.] They can't seem to top 11 mph, though. Axl gets it up to 12 mph by stripping down to his boxers, then up to 15 by wearing a really tight outfit. So, because he thinks he'll really be able to break the limit, the guys invite a bunch of their friends out... but when everyone arrives, they find that the sign has been removed. [Ain't that always the way!] The guys are left to find something else to do... like lob bottles. After they hit a car, they run... with all three hitting 16 mph or more in the caption! [hahaha! LOVED this part!]

(ABC/RICHARD FOREMAN)

[Now, Brick, since I was to save Sue for last.] Brick wants to compete in the spelling bee again, and Mike offers to coach, as long as Brick will stop whispering. [haha] Mike gives Brick horrible distractions while they study. When the classroom round comes, Mike acts rather cocky to another parent, and Brick messes up "reindeer" by spelling it "reindear," which eliminated him immediately. [who dings a bell when you get the word right??] Brick doesn't want to go back to school since he'll be embarrassed, so he looks into private schools and even homeschooling, though Mike says that they've already taught him everything they know. [I had a kid in my high school have a similar situation. He was known as one of the best violinists in school and he talked about spending his senior year at a big music academy. Well, he didn't get in, and rumor had it that he didn't feel he could face everyone at school, so he dropped out. He never went to college or anything, though last I heard he was a property manager and had a family.] Mike tells Brick that it's good to feel disappointed, since it'll make you stronger. [I thought that Mike did a pretty good job of giving Brick advice, which he normally doesn't do so well.] Mike offers to take Brick to school, but while he's there, the teacher insists he lead the Pledge of Allegiance. Turns out, Mike only knows the beginning... mixing in "America the Beautiful," some Bible verses, and part of the traditional wedding vows. [I wasn't 100% sure whether he truly didn't know it or if he was trying to take the attention away from Brick... but after thinking about the scene, I really think that Mike didn't know it, which surprised me quite a bit!]

Sue tells her parents that Justin Bieber is coming to Indianapolis and she'd like to go. They tell her that she'll have to come up with the money, so she comes up with a list of things that she could cut back on (though none really amount to much savings). Frankie gives in, since she can't imagine a happier Sue. [aww.] They try online and on the phone at the same time, but a poorly depicted captcha word costs them too much time. Sue crumbles to the floor, only to be re-energized when a local radio station announces that they will be selling 200 tickets. The catch? The standard protocol for concert tickets... camping out on the concrete, which doesn't thrill Frankie. [only once in my life have I bought tickets the day something went on sale... and, though I didn't "camp out," I was first in line at my location and was able to snag four seats, fifth row center... I was SO EXCITED!] They're about 174th in line at the beginning, but people start cutting in line. [I love that Sue counted!] Frankie wants Sue to cut with her, and although Sue fights it, she goes anyway. It doesn't work, though, because the woman Frankie tries to act like she's with calls her a cutter and Frankie gets brought to the end of the line. Luckily, since Sue is so unnoticeable, she stays up there and is able to buy two tickets. [you're kidding me! I know that we're supposed to believe that Sue just blends in all too well, but this was a bit ridiculous, don't you think?] Frankie gets all ready to go to the concert with Sue (even joking with Mike that she has "Bieber Fever"), but it turns out that Sue is planning to go with Carly instead. [I was kinda proud of Frankie for not taking it any worse... though I was a bit taken aback myself... where was Carly all episode?]

Teen Mom 2: Break-Ups, Rehab, the GED...

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Well, I don't think I care much about these girls anymore at this point. They've all had their interesting moments (notsomuch with Chelsea, but definitely with the others), but it's really wound down a lot at this point. Especially since the televised episodes takes place so long after the action... nobody was surprised over Jenelle's arrests or Leah's divorce. These are things that we already knew were going to happen on the show, because we've read about them in the news. Similarly, when Teen Mom finally comes back again (it was originally supposed to be back last month), we already know a lot of the things that will be covered in Amber's storyline, and a few things about Farrah have been leaked here and there, too. I've suggested before that we only focus on certain moms and combine the two series, but now I'm thinking more of a two-hour special twice a year would be more appropriate. The bulk of the things that take place this past season for several of the moms could have been condensed a LOT, so why are we dragging it out? Anyway, that's my two cents. Below we see a short special that my DVR managed to pick up, as well as the final official episode in the second season. I'm sure it'll end up running another week or two so we can hear from Dr. Drew and all.

Teen Mom 2 "Baby Talk" (Special): The four moms and their babies are all together, looking at moments with the children. [haha at Jenelle talking about packing up a kid to go grocery shopping... does anyone believe she does that? I thought it was cute to see Aubree pushing a pug in a doll stroller... though that kid is cute even when she's crying!] Isaac learns to walk with Jo's mom speaking Spanish in the background. [Jace playing in the sprinkler was interesting... I've never heard a child be so silent while getting wet, LoL.] The moms talk about the different stuff they like to do with the kids. [Leah has different hair here... not the weird crimped style with bangs. I laughed at the idea that Jenelle doesn't curse around her child all of the time.] We hear Ali talk a little. Otherwise, this was a big waste of editing.

Teen Mom 2 "Love Will Tear Us Apart" (S02E12): [I liked the ending with the music over the scenes and stills with the warm lighting effects.]

Kailyn: Finals are coming up, but she's thinking about Jo, with whom she "went too far" last time he was over. She tells a friend and says that she wants to tell Jordan. We see Jo tell his brother that he and Kailyn had sex in the shower. [yep! that certainly qualifies as "going too far" !!] When Kailyn brings it up to Jordan, he doesn't take it so well, and leaves. [is his laundry at her place? why?] She doesn't think that they'll be able to get back together, so she decides to try things with Jo again. Except, he doesn't want a girlfriend, which leaves her crying. [I'm kinda glad Jo said "no." If you toy with two guys at the same time, you deserve neither.]

Jenelle: She gets to Malibu Horizon and has her stuff searched. She does a urine test (positive), gets introduced around, and learns the rules, like no cell phones or computers for the first two weeks of the 30-day program. No talking about scoring drugs, either. [I laughed that this was actually a rule. I guess I would have assumed it would be understood, LoL.] Jenelle says that she doesn't have a problem with weed, it's just that she isn't allowed to smoke it for a while. [cue a simultaneous eye roll here!] She talks to multiple doctors/therapists, and we learn that her brother is bipolar/schizophrenic. [whoa. hold the phone. Jenelle has a brother? since when? I can't recall anything about him previously...] Jenelle fills out a questionnaire and it looks like she might be bipolar, too. We also learn that Barbara has always suspected that Jenelle may be bipolar. [she never thought that a diagnosis could help?] Jenelle starts taking some anti-anxiety meds, but her real problem is that she's "really bored." When asked for three words to describe herself, she uses "impulsive," "smart," and "angry." [I love that the girl thinks she's smart... how many times has she failed her online classes now? three? four? more?] For three things she'd like to be, she chooses "happy," "caring," and "affectionate." ["affectionate" was a strange one for me... she hugs. What is she hoping for?] She complains about how much it sucks that she got to smoke marijuana every single day for six years and now she has to stop. When she gets her outside-world privileges, she finds that Kieffer's been trying to reach her... he wants to get back together. [of course. better.not.happen!] Barbara describes her ideal relationship with Jenelle to be that they'd get along and that she'd be more involved with Jace. Barbara says that Jace is attached to her, so he needs to learn who Jenelle is. This makes Jenelle upset, since it makes her feel like she's nothing to Jace. [do we need to go back and look at her episode of 16 and Pregnant where she couldn't wait until Jace was three weeks old so she could dump him in daycare to "focus on her social life" ??] Her last few days in rehab have her doing yoga and skyping with Barbara and Jace. When she's released, she's told that her bipolar will be worsened with drugs or alcohol. [who wants to bet that won't really stop her? and, by that, we already know she won't stay clean...] When she gets home, Barbara and Jace meet her.

Chelsea: She takes the writing GED and passes. She says that she isn't anxious to start school, she's anxious to get done. [she has no interest in learning to do what she wants??] Her mom tells her that she's going to a car show to try and meet a man, and invites Chelsea along. She and Aubree go, but Adam is there, which makes her want to leave. [you know, since it's been a whopping month since she's seen him, which isn't nearly enough time for her to get over him.] Adam comes over to see Aubree for a bit, and Chelsea goes with them for a ride in the truck. [that Aubree sure can't stand Adam!] Chelsea asks him if he's seeing anyone and what their relationship should be. [I couldn't believe she asked him either question. She's so bad at thinking ahead as far as how someone else's possible responses could affect her!] He says they should be friends. She tells her mom that it felt so good to be a "family" in the truck. Of course, he mom warns her, but she still goes off on a motorcycle ride with Adam (sans helmets). [They have a KID! Where is their responsibility?!?!]

Photo by MTV

Leah: Her lawyer told her not to have any contact with Corey, so she's been at her mom's for a week. Corey finds out IN THE NEWSPAPER that Leah filed for divorce. [okay, who's amused that Corey reads the paper to find out who is getting divorced? Now, who is amused that Corey reads the paper at all?] Corey calls his dad to tell him, then takes off his wedding band. [:(] Leah's parents are going to loan her the money for the trailer. [this girl is going to need to start working more than one day a week if she thinks she can support two children!] Her friend is going to live with her, too. [these situations haven't really worked out well yet...] Corey texts to ask if he can have the girls for the weekend, but Leah tells him that they need to work this out with their lawyers. Leah's mom just got pictures in the mail from Leah's wedding, which makes her cry. [duh.] Someone from Leah's lawyer's office calls and gives her the schedule of how she'll hand over the girls for a day and a half and when she can go collect her belongings from Corey's place. Leah's still wearing her rings... the band has the girls' names engraved. Two weeks since Leah saw Corey, she drops off the girls at the lawyer's office, to Corey and his dad. [Aleeah is walking now!] Leah cries when she drops them off, since she hasn't been away from the girls in a really long time. ["How did you feel when you saw Corey?" was the most staged question EVER.] They divvy up their stuff, and Corey pretty much tells her to take what she needs, except the microwave. [that was pretty mature of him, though a bit confusing... I guess he just wants to put this behind him.] To split-up the washer and dryer, Corey first suggests that they put it in "disputed items," but she suggests they each take one, and she asks for the washer. He reluctantly takes the dryer, since he knows he'll end up needing to get appliances before the "disputed items" is settled anyway. [anyone in their right mind would take a washer! It's much easier to air-dry clothing than it is to hand-wash it!] Leah gets really emotional as she leaves for the last time.[well, yeah.]

The Duggars are Back

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 22:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Has it really been three months since the regular season of 19 Kids and Counting was on the air? Maybe it only feels shorter because the breaking story about losing Jubilee Duggar... Speaking of which, I wanted to say a few quick words about JimBob and Michelle appearing on Today on February 14th. They were there to not only talk about Jubilee, but also about the extortion attempt involving Cousin Amy. [Michelle was wearing some different makeup... made her look much younger, though with a fuller face. She wore the same style on the latest episode of 19 Kids and Counting, so I'm guessing she had a makeover at some point?] Michelle kept it together well when she talked about losing Jubilee (which was now eight weeks ago). Regarding the extortion, they basically repeated the same thing that's been all over the internet - the woman was caught in a sting and has been arrested, plus the photo was just Amy and a family friend standing next to each other. I don't really know why Today bothered to put them on, but the duo did say that they were looking forward to a day in New York without the kids, and had a nice Valentine's dinner planned.

Also, it seems that TLC has decided to re-order how they're numbering the seasons... In November we left off at what was being called Season 8, Episode 10. But, the newest installment is billed as the premiere of Season 6. I know that this is going to make it confusing, but I'm going to go with the new numbering for now, and either consider changing the previous recaps to fit this system or leave them alone, since part of it could be a nightmare (the "original" third season already had 28 episodes). It also looks like the Duggars will only be running for six or seven weeks right now, so I imagine there will be 10-12 episodes, but that's pure speculation. Anyway, let's get on to the good stuff... I can't promise that too much of it is "good," but they really should have split this into two episodes since they covered a TON of events...

19 Kids and Counting "Planning the Future" (S06E01): Michelle is 12 weeks pregnant in this episode, and has been using an elliptical machine often and taking her normal pre-natal vitamins. [the latter is only of note because, at this point, Michelle has allegedly taken over 15,000 of them... some basic math suggests she's probably only taken about 5,000, unless she's taken one every day SINCE SHE WAS FOUR YEARS OLD.] Punctuality is a problem for the family, as always, but it's spreading to within the home rather than just when they try to leave... it's now taking 30 minutes or so for everyone to gather for a family meeting. [I wouldn't stand for that!] JimBob claims that he and Michelle used to be on-time before they had children, but Jana says that the family once got ready without the parents, and they were on-time, so maybe it was JimBob and Michelle who slow things down. [this made me laugh. Also, Joy has braces now.]

JimBob has this "great idea" to get some trees for the yard - both fruit-bearing and decorative. So, the family loads up and goes to buy a bunch. Then, they plot out where they will go. [really? How did you know how many and which types to buy if you hadn't designed your layout first? Oh, JimBob...] Luckily, since they bought so many trees, the nursery sent out a couple guys to help... and they're able to do 28 trees in two hours, in comparison wit the Duggars planting 4 in two hours. [the math doesn't add up that the pros did 8 trees in 45 minutes, then another 20 in 75 more minutes... but I guess they have to get a groove. It was also cute to see one of the younger girls (Jordyn? Jenny?) watering.] Of course, there is a lot of red clay in the dirt, but the shovels seemed to work better than the Duggars' big equipment.

Michelle and the older girls go to a speaking engagement (Michelle says that she likes to bring the girls because they get to hear the message) while JimBob cares for the rest of the kids. [but aside from the four youngest girls, we only see a couple of the boys... where were the rest of them?] It takes JimBob about two hours to get moving, and he looks awful when he gets up. JimBob says that "it's been a few years" since he's had to take care of a bunch of the children by himself. [how sad is that!?] We see JimBob brush the little girls' hair. [he's terrible with a ponytail! Also, interesting that in the 2004 photo, Jessa and Jinger don't look nearly as alike as they do now! Jana looked so pale then, too! Also, it sure looks like some of the girls have naturally curly/crimpy hair... they acted like they mostly had perms a few seasons ago. AND, eww! on the boys putting gum in their mouths that Josie had in her mouth.]

Anyway, Anna meets the others at the speaking engagement, bringing Michael. [eww on Michelle's shoes at the meeting!] Michelle shares her thought process on planning her talks - when she's asked, she finds out what they've been studying and what they'd like to hear her talk about. The girls also play a short tune for the audience. [which didn't sound great... and it was only the five oldest girls... what does THAT say??]

TLC

Another day, the family goes to Farmland Adventures, which belongs to some family friends. They go after the official "season" had ended, so it's pretty chilly. There's almost three miles of corn-maze, but luckily you can see a map if you wear red-tinted glasses. The family takes off, mostly in groups, and of the 25 Duggars who attempted the maze, 9 finished. [I did a corn-maze back in 2009, but the corn was much higher and it was dark. AND, there was no cheat-sheet!] They play with baby pigs and goats, then ride some ponies and call it a day. [so many bad puns!]

The last thing to happen in the episode is JimBob and Michelle having a doctor's appointment. The doctor struggles to find a heartbeat using a doppler, but luckily they find it via ultrasound. [wow. bet that made not being able to find a heartbeat later even more of a shock!]

Switched at Birth: The Family Portrait

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Just how secret was Bay's involvement with Simone's little "prank" a few years back? Did Simone really succeed in being "anonymous" in it as well? Apparently Toby doesn't know about it, since I really don't think he'd date someone with that awful of a background. Also, I'd like to see Simone do some more shoplifting or something... the fact that she walked out on the check at a lounge hasn't even come back to haunt her yet. Ooooh... unless that's where we're going with Simone letting Daphne borrow that purple dress... maybe Daphne will end up taking the fall, since I'm sure Simone will work out some stupid story.

The other thing that struck me as peculiar in this episode was Regina's reactions. Patrick's storyline aside, the quick mutual apology with Adriana felt really rushed to me... I mean, what's it been? A week? Plus, when Regina misses a call from Angelo at the end, I couldn't quite gauge her reaction... are we supposed to believe that she'll always go back to him? That she's just attention-deprived and will flock to whichever guy does something for her? Maybe if we learn more about her character's past it will make more sense? I mean, at this point, we don't know if she seriously dated ANYONE after Angelo... she had a fling with Bruce a while back, and Daphne doesn't act like her mother has ever a "regular someone" around...

Switched at Birth "Protect Me from What I Want" (S01E17): Regina tells a curator client, Patrick, about Bay's artwork, and he says he'll check out her studio. Patrick says that she's talented and all, but she's a bit green. [makes sense. how much art training has she had? we never see her taking classes or anything.] He invites Regina to have barbecue, but when he picks her up, Adriana (who came over to get a jacket and apologize to Regina) pushes Regina's artwork and a piece resonates with him. While eating, Patrick asks Regina to put that piece in his show, but she's hesitant because of Bay. Well, Regina tells Bay about it, and Bay tells Kathryn about it. This causes Kathryn to ask Regina why she would have invited a gallery guy over anyway. Regina tells her that she thought Bay could use some constructive criticism. [couldn't hurt.] Kathryn gets upset. [so she is acting like one of those moms who think that their child should never hear bad news and never be picked last? get over yourself. also, do dryer sheets really ruin machines?] So, Bay puts up some new street art near Patrick's gallery, then asks him about it. He thinks it's punky, which doesn't thrill Bay. [what was she expecting? he deals with fine art, not public art.]

Kathryn talks to Toby about his experiences since the switch. Kathryn and John realize that they've been neglecting Toby a bit, so John invites Toby to a hit-a-thon with him the next day. John misses the first one, has a weak hit the second time, but does well after that. John tells Toby to take a few swings, and he does a great job. John asks Toby why he quit if he's so good, and Toby said that he was just pushed too hard. Kathryn's starting to think that her book won't be good enough to be published. Kathryn gives John the work so far. John still doesn't understand Toby's passion for music, and is upset that he can't help in any way... he doesn't even know anyone who could help. Toby says that he doesn't need help... he's doing it.

Daphne's practice ends with the coach saying that the girls will re-audition for starting positions, and Daphne is up for forward. Simone hires a professional basketball player to coach the two of them for three hours, using money she made by selling a replacement watch her dad gave her. [this isn't LA... how many famous basketball players are just hanging around St. Louis??] See, she found the one that she reported "stolen" at school, and since Monica tells Daphne that the public school girls have been banned from practicing at Buckner, Daphne tells Simone to come clean about the watch. As Daphne mulls over what to do, she decides to ask Bay what happened between them... Bay says that there was a girl in the eighth grade who wanted to be their friend... they pretended to be nice to her, convinced her that she should practice asking out a guy she liked, and Simone secretly filmed it. Bay asked her to delete it, but she sent it out anyway, and everyone at a few schools saw it. The girl moved a month later. [omg. BULLYING at its finest!] So, Daphne decides to tell the coach about the watch, and he says that Simone told him about it, and that it was Daphne's idea to sell the other to hire a personal coach. [I am so angry I could scream! I HATE Simone!] Daphne responds by saying that she knows he only put her on the team because she's deaf and it gets the school more funding. [don't think that was the brightest move there, kiddo.] So, the coach decides that they can start over with a clean slate, but Daphne will now be trying out for point-guard, against Simone. When Simone hears this, she thinks that Daphne put the coach up to it, calls her a bad friend, then proceeds to ignore her around campus. [hopefully this'll be the end of their "friendship" ??] Daphne asks Simone why the coach thought it was Daphne's idea to get a private trainer, Simone says that Daphne must have misunderstood the coach... because he doesn't move his lips much when he speaks. [!! wow.] When it comes time to play, it's a close match, but Daphne wins. [plenty of trash-talking, tho!]

Kathryn notices that Emmett's hungry while he's over, so she whips up some rosemary garlic chicken while chatting with him, much to bay's dismay. He has to take a family portrait for his photography class, but since he doesn't want to use his family (lots of tension right now), so Kathryn recommends he take a Kennish-Vasquez photo. [not a bad solution...] Later, Kathryn shows Emmett some photos of old family portraits, then asks him if he's ever dated a hearing girl before. [I'm not surprised that Kathryn was nosy, but I am surprised that this was her first question.] Emmett is really open to the questions, but once Kathryn talks about how upset Bay was when Ty left, he becomes uncomfortable. [can you blame him? it's got to be awkward for your girlfriend's mom to talk about how her daughter's previous boyfriend left her broken-hearted!] Emmett confronts Bay about Ty, and Bay says that Ty was someone to talk to, and even if they were serious, it was only for about a month. Emmett still isn't happy, and wants nothing to do with her latest piece of street art.] When it's time for the portrait, we see things (silently) from Emmett's point-of-view. [this show is SO SMART. I love it.] It takes a while, but Emmett gets some good shots. [why is Emmett so upset that Bay and Ty dated? people have pasts.] Before he leaves, Emmett tells Bay that his parents not being in love anymore is sad, and it makes him question if the love between he and Bay will fail, too. Emmett tells Bay that he's in love with her, and she reciprocates. They kiss. [Emmett wasn't as adorable as usual in this episode, but I do like to see his emotional side come out, too.]

http://abcfamily.go.com

Last Man Standing: Be Adventurous

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:45:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I've never had any desire to drive a racecar, but I have gone skydiving, and I'll agree that you get quite the adrenaline rush from it! But I don't think that you need to necessarily get a huge rush in order to liven up and be adventurous. Sure, Vanessa's pickling classes and Mike taking the girls to buy socks aren't the most exciting things in life, but you have to work hard to play hard. If you haven't "gone crazy" in a while, you don't have to go out skydiving or drive a racecar to bring a bit of spring to your step! I bet that Vanessa was pretty thrilled after a pickling class or two - that's why she keeps going back. And we know that Mike had a pretty eventful life years ago (all those Africa and Kenya comments, anyone?), but I'm still under the impression that he does some things he finds thrilling... like working on his "classic truck." Now, I'm not saying that I would turn down white-water rafting or hot-air ballooning, but you have to learn to enjoy the adventure in cake decorating and gun maintenance as well. Do you disagree?

Last Man Standing "Adrenaline" (S01E17): Mike dreams that he and Ed are hunting a tiger, so when he wakes up, he wants to do something fun... like winter camping. [I've camped in the winter. three times. it's just not as fun as the summer. the cold is rough at night.] Vanessa has a pickling lesson, however, and it becomes clear that the aim of this episode is to get past the mundane things in life. This is supported by Mike telling Vanessa that she's less exciting now than she used to be, when she'd kayak naked and ski black diamond runs on one leg. [both of which are almost disturbing!] Mike does a video about guns jamming and the rush you get that makes you feel alive when you shoot something. [he looks like he's reading notes with as often as he looks down... weird.] Mike and Ed talk decide to get Tony Stewart and his NASCAR vehicle to promote the store. [if I cared at all about the sport, maybe this would be a big deal. I mean, I've at least heard of Tony Stewart, so he's gotta be like in the top 5-10 racecar folks, right?] It's the real car, not a show deal,

http://beta.abc.go.com

so Tony asks Mike to make sure that nobody touches it. Well, since they have a few hours before the unveiling, Kyle decides to take it for a spin... only to get it stuck in gear in the parking lot. [shaking my head!] Mike says that they need to get the car back, and Kyle tries to get him to hotwire it and drive it, though Mike wants to just push it back. Mike ends up going for it, doing donuts while Ed stalls Tony. They make it back in time, though Tony knows that Mike drove the car, so he wants to do donuts in Mike's truck... which is a classic. [we don't know for sure whether Tony does drive the truck.]

Kristin asks Mandy to pick up Boyd from day care, but won't tell her why, until she offers a secret in exchange. We don't hear what Mandy has to tell, but we learn that Kristin is planning to go skydiving with some coworkers. Unfortunately, Eve also overhears, and the girls are worried since she normally tells Vanessa everything. [ugh. just like little siblings... they get an adrenaline rush from being good or something!] Eve doesn't want to tell Vanessa, but it's weighing on her and she gets it out without getting it out. [not super clever, but good enough for a thirteen-year-old.] Vanessa gets down there in time to stop Kristin, giving her a lecture about being responsible once you're a parent. [yep. That's why I went skydiving a good 10 years before I'll be a parent.] Kristin asks Vanessa to join in, and since she recently had a dream where she disarmed and shot a bank robber to liven up her life, she does. [whaaaa? hypocritical much??]

Archer - "Lo Scandalo"... with meatballs

noreply@blogger.com (JBTec) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

by Jonathan Bredemeyer

Archer "Lo Scandalo" (S03E08):

From the Diary of Archer Sterling...

Jesus, today sucked. My mom called and dragged Lana and I over to her place where we found a guy wearing a full-body latex suit shot three times in the chest. Seriously, has anyone else had anything remotely close to this happen with their mother? No, no chance in hell. Blah, blah, blah through the bullsh!t excuses of how she DIDN'T shoot him (and apparently the latex thing is a zentai... or something). Thank God we had alcohol. Ok, so Italy doesn't use a king and apparently the dead guy was the Prime Minister of Italy. Anyway, the point was, he was getting sexually violated in a seatless chair in my mother's room... WHY!

CR: FX

Never in my life have I seen things in a dead prime minister's @$$... Apparently, Mother was stationed in Italy, yeah, yeah, yeah, started a once-a-year affair with the dead, rectally-impaled, murdered dude. Somehow, this freak keeps escalating these sex-capades and we end up here: death by rubber eggplant...and I'm not even drunk yet. Of course, Mother recounts this fantastic story of the PM getting all ready for this freak show, and then being murdered by three masked men. I kept expecting sex under a hive of Afrianicanized bees to be next in the story, but sadly it never came. Mother fired back at the men, and that was it. So I set about creating the cover story; that is, of course, the way to go. For some reason, Mother had an issue with me punching her in the face to add to the cover story.

SOMEHOW, we got into an argument over whether or not to trash the place and make it look like self-defense. And then BAM: spaghetti and meatball craving... like no other. So Lana and I are in the kitchen making this amazing snack with no one who knows how to make sauce (wtf?), and Mother is still refusing to be cooperative; sometimes you need to accept the fact that your apartment and all your possessions need to be burned, that's life. And, above all, she RUINED the garlic bread! Oh yeah, and she was shot earlier and still not letting anyone look at it. All ideas for getting rid of the dead body were being shot down, and talking about it was ruining my snack.

So after reviewing how Mother hates the Irish for not fighting on our side in World War II, she wants us to CHOP UP THE BODY. For once, Lana and I agreed on something: NO, and mother started crying. Screw this noise, I called Kreger and made him do it. And he fixed the sauce recipe! A potato, who knew? Somehow the other 3 nimrods from the office show up, and we finally hear Kreger's plan to have everyone carry out and dispose of a piece of the body. OK, fine. So we're in the kitchen fending off questions and letting Kreger have fun playing with the body when the 5-0 shows up, and we don't have enough sauce for everyone!

The cop is Irish... great. Mother will love that. Anyway, someone tipped him off to the murder, but we were prepared, looking perfectly proper like we were at a dinner party. He snoops around the apartment while Mother still can't convince Lana to pull her weight and shoot the cop in case he runs across Kreger. He leaves, we leave, then Lana starts in on a crazy theory that Mother set this entire thing up... a plot to kill her strange lover, create an alibi with the cops, and convince US to dispose of the body... Crazy right? Crazy...

Memorable lines:
Archer: "...just the crime of murder, not the crime of s0d0my by rubber eggplant..."

Smash: Marilyn is Cast

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 21:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

... I'm not thrilled. Ivy may have the experience to be a Broadway lead, but she looks a bit old to play a young Marilyn Monroe. And just because she had the resources to spy on her competition shouldn't have given her an advantage. (I think, mentally at least, it did.) But, then again, sleeping with someone always gets you what you want, right? Why did they pull out that big cliche about how every director sleeps with his star actress? Frankly, I'm sick of it. Especially as someone who was formerly involved in the theatre. It seems that it wasn't a one-time thing, either, since the promos for future eps depict Ivy and Derek as a couple, with Tom and Julia discussing how it affects the production. I realllllly don't want to have to give up Smash because I can't stand the values in the show, since that's why I stopped watching Glee, but it's early yet, and I have hope. Speaking of which, I really hope that this adoption storyline is going someplace... I got pretty interested in Julia and Frank's family in the pilot so I wasn't in love with the idea that they were calling off the adoption because there would be so much waiting involved. Though, I would like some background on how they decided to adopt, specifically a girl from China, and why now. I assume that this information will come... so it better.

Smash "The Callback" (S01E02): Julia wants to keep writing songs, but Tom thinks that they need to start thinking about structure. We see more of what they're picturing the musical will look like. ["Let Me Be a Star" sounds like Jason Robert Brown could be the writer, if you ask me.] Julia has to tell Ellis to give them some space. He spends the bulk of the episode annoying Julia and trying to eavesdrop. [are they trying to imply that all assistants are busybodies? because that's not the case and the idea bothers me.] Tom tells Ivy to let him know if Derek is inappropriate, and that he would have given her the role. [how is she like his favorite-favorite? because she's only an ensemble dancer in one of his other shows, not a lead.] Eileen runs into Jerry (with a younger woman) at a restaurant, and he tells her that she's delusional if she thinks Marilyn: the Musical will work.

Tom wants the part to go to Ivy (she has the experience), but Derek wants Karen ("innocence is Marilyn"). Derek decides that he couldn't give the part to Karen without more information, so they have another callback, this time with scenework, as well as dancing for Karen. [sounds fair.] Karen is worried about dancing, since Derek is also the choreographer. She learns the dance with an ensemble, a member of which is a friend of Ivy's, so he feeds her info about her competition. [I wonder if I would have been suspicious of something like this if I were Karen?] Ivy is reading some Marilyn Monroe books while she waits, and is brought in to meet Karen. [it could have been more awkward, I suppose.] Derek tells Eileen that Ivy is trying too hard, but Karen is too "green." Ivy works on the acting with Derek... and they end up sleeping together. We see an entire song performed by Karen, then the room talks about the pros and cons of both girls. Tom is the one to congratulate Ivy, while Derek tells Eileen that Jerry picked up the option on My Fair Lady, but Derek isn't going back to it. [that whole scene was pretty awkward to me... are we supposed to get the feeling that Derek and Eileen have a past, too?] The episode ends with Ivy singing in celebration at a small venue which she frequents.

Photo by: Patrick Harbron/NBC

There was another part to Karen's story... she's supposed to meet her boyfriend at an important work dinner of his after one of the callback rehearsals, but after she's already changed, Derek tells her that she needs to come back in and work some more. She never passes the message on, so by the time she gets to the restaurant (HOURS later), dinner is long over and her boyfriend is (understandably) upset. [he gets over it a bit too quickly when she apologizes...]

And, lastly, let's look at the adoption storyline... Frank and Julia turn in some paperwork to the adoption agency and are told that, even though it's already been ten months, it could be another two years (conservatively) before they could get their Chinese baby. They're assigned to write a hypothetical letter to their baby's birthmother, but as Julia begins it, Frank is worried. He'll be 47 in two years, which would make him 65 when his daughter graduates from high school. [it's a bit old but not ancient. I had a friend in high school whose father was older than that...] Julia asks him if he wants to throw in the towel, and he does... he even says that he wants to go back to work as a science teacher. [interesting... a Broadway writer and a science teacher... makes for an interesting party, I'm sure.] Leo is upset - he's always wanted a sibling. [though the lines they give that kid to work with seem to have been written for someone significantly younger... the dream of "always wanting a baby sister" is something you hope for when you're six, not sixteen...] In a support group of sorts, Julia shares the letter that she wrote to the birthmother of her daughter, and it seems that Frank wants "back in" after all.

2 Broke Girls: Anything for Earl

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Okay. I know that there are tons and tons of folks complaining about all of the problems with the secondary characters, specifically about the racial stereotypes. And I'm sure that the addition of Sophie hasn't really helped those whiners. BUT, can we agree that having an episode that focuses on a secondary character can't be that great if NO CUPCAKES are mentioned AT ALL?? Yes, this episode takes place over a shorter period of time than some, and yes, the girls were under some stress, but there were ample opportunities for the girls to crank out some cupcakes. David could have used a cupcake in thanks. Surely the nurses would have appreciated some sugary goodness. The diner was still running, right? Cupcakes could have gone there! And Sophie always wants some! Anyway, I was clearly bothered by the fact that there was no baking going on. The only other thing that was especially notable in this episode (though it was a good one!) was Caroline talking to Max about how great a daughter she would have been. As someone whose father was absent from my preteen years onward, it's difficult to understand the relationships people have with their fathers, and Caroline talking about how Max cares for Earl was really sweet, and very true. Max deserved a father figure, as we all do. She was shorted that blessing, but it's nice to see that her compassionate side didn't suffer too much from it.

2 Broke Girls "And the Broken Hearts" (S01E16): Han has made a special Valentine's Day menu. [haha at the Prix Fixe joke with Oleg.] Sophie comes in with a parasol to offer the girls a ride home since it's raining. ["you cannot get me to come" was not funny. and yes, I know they meant an alternate spelling.] But, Earl has a heart attack, so although he wants to waltz on out, Max and Caroline take him to the

CBS

hospital in Sophie's towncar. Max gets rude with the receptionist, but gets Earl some treatment right away. But, they have trouble getting information about how he's doing, you know, with HIPAA and all. So, first she claims that she's his daughter, that he started late, and that her mom is a "honky," then she shows her driver's license which says her last name is "Black," then she adds that he's the love of her life. Since she already said that she's his daughter, she has to add that they're "from the south" in order for him also to be the love of his life. [funny how Max had a response to each problem, and I especially liked the joke about how her last name and his race mean they've got to be related. oh, and here were are, dated via Angry Birds.] Enough's enough, so Max has Caroline distract the receptionist while she sneaks past, and Earl tells her that he had a minor heart attack and will have to stay a few nights in the hospital. Earl has a history of heart problems, and tells Max to get him his own room. ["vag!na is her go-to" was inappropriate. "how you like me now, b!tch" was funny, tho!]

Caroline knows a boy from the family for whom the wing of the hospital is named, so Max suggests that she contact him, and, since she's never slept with him, offer him sex in exchange for getting Earl a private room. [lines like this really make me giggle!] Caroline apparently dumped David two years back, and he is still bitter about a Dartmouth t-shirt she took. He agrees to get Earl a VIP room, tho. The next night, the whole diner crew, plus Sophie, goes to the hospital to see Earl. [ewww on how Sophie gave Caroline some lip gloss!] Caroline gives David a Williamsburg shirt (the Dartmouth one is still being held hostage at the townhouse), and it turns out that he lives in that area now, too. She asks him out, but he declines, since he could never bring her home. [poor Caroline... she's probably going to keep getting discriminated against by her old high-society folks forever.] On her way out, Max tells David that he wasn't very nice. [um, okay.] The receptionist asks out Max, and she goes for it. [didn't see that coming!] The girls sleep at the hospital, and Caroline realizes that it's the first year that she won't have Valentine's Day flowers from her father. [what? I bet she will. Her father can pull that off!]. When the girls return to their apartment, Sophie shows up with two vases of flowers - both were addressed to Caroline. Her father sent a set for her and a set for Max, for taking care of Caroline. [awww.]

Cupcakery Total: $865.00 (no change from last episode)

Alcatraz: Lucy Has More Secrets

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:30:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

When we first learned that Lucy was a doctor on Alcatraz back in the day, I was pretty shocked. Not to learn that there was a woman doctor, but because I hadn't realized that there were non-prisoners, non-guards "coming back" as well. Then, we discovered that Dr. Beauregard was also "transported" somehow. Now, why would the two doctors "come back" first AND find Hauser AND work undercover? Hauser has aged, so he wasn't part of whatever "experiment" took place... right? So, my thought process is that Beauregard and Lucy must have also been "captured," but broke out early or something? But if that was the case, wouldn't they know more about what was going on and how these things are happening? And now I'm also extra-confused... if Soto never knew of a female doctor on Alcatraz, that means that there must be NO documentation of Lucy AT ALL. So... why was she there? What sort of organization was she with, and why was it so secretive? The intrigue is really starting to lure me in deeper, guys. What are your theories thus far on what's going on?

Alcatraz "Paxton Petty" (S01E06): A bunch of bombs go off in a public space, but once our team of heroes realize they're landmines, both Hauser and Soto realize at the same time that the culprit is Paxton Petty. Hauser works on finding the locations of other bombs (Petty does this in cycles of four), and Madsen is told to find Paxton. Madsen spots him in the crowd and goes after him. [she's good at facial recognition after just seeing a picture!] But, he rolls a bomb at her and they lose him. Madsen gets checked out, then collects some pictures of the shrapnel. [I'm surprised that she wasn't more injured!] Madsen and Soto find out that the shrapnel was a silver star, which soldiers are sometimes buried with, so they realize that Petty much be digging them up. The duo go to a graveyard in the area that has a bunch of Korean war victims, but it doesn't help. This is also where Petty was suspected of taking them in the 1960s, but no evidence was ever found. They realize that Petty "came back" in the mausoleum, since the lock on it was broken from the inside. [oooh... creepy!] Petty had previously stabbed a guard who saw him, and that body is found in one of the mausoleum holds. [I love that Soto is still squeamish!] Madsen calls to update Hauser and he tells her to cross-reference "sandstone" (the color of the paint cans they found) with parks and playgrounds (they found some playground turf in there as well), specifically with "windward." See, Hauser had found some song lyrics with certain words circled, coding where the landmines are. The song has a second verse, so he uses that to try and figure out where the new bombs are. [is it just me or are criminals always doing things in weird patterns like this... using words cut from books as message-readers, figuring out cryptograms, and now reading into lyrics??] We also find out that it was Lucy who originally cracked this code fifty years earlier, and Hauser told her that he'd find the rest of them. Well, Hauser heads to "sunset," which is a beach. He finds Petty and pulls a gun on him. But, he's on a landmine and Petty makes him give over his gun and phone. Madsen thinks it's

CR: Liane Hentscher/FOX

a waste of time for her and Soto to be on a stakeout at some "random" location, but Hauser comes and they catch him. They lock up Petty in the real Alcatraz and Soto talks to him while Madsen looks for clues. Petty says he went to sleep a week ago and woke up in 2012. [hmmm... so the 63s don't seem to have knowledge of where they've been...] Then, Petty starts to talk about a "female headshrink" (whom Soto knows nothing about) when Madsen returns, and the three head for the beach. Hauser is standing on a detonator, so they call in the troops to try and deactivate the bomb. Both Hauser and Madsen know that "twin tree" is the clue from the first set of bombs that was never found, and after Hauser is saved, he shoots Petty in the leg and threatens to kill him. Petty gives away the location of the remaining landmines - a hiking trail that nobody has taken in fifty years. [strange... Petty didn't know that the trail was about to become unusable when he planted the bombs?] Sadly, Madsen's friend, Tanner, is killed by the landmine that Hauser was on. Hauser finds the bombs and brings one to Lucy's bedside. He then brings Lucy to Beauregard and tells him to fix her. [whoa. did he steal her from the hospital?? does she have no next-of-kin?]

In 1960 Alcatraz, we learn that Hauser had a crush on Lucy. Petty was drowned in a bathtub multiple times in an attempt to get him to divulge where the remaining landmines were buried. Lucy disagreed with the practice, and tried to use tea drugged with a mild anesthetic to get him to talk. She also attempts some shock therapy on Petty. [man! they really wanted to get to the bottom of this!] We also learn that Petty's outfit all received silver stars except him, and he wrote dozens of appeal letters, only to never be granted the award. Lucy also talks to Madsen, who wants to know why they keep bleeding him. She tries to find out, but isn't told the truth. [hmmm. I had been assuming that Lucy was part of the bleeding... that maybe it had to do with her "memories theory" or something.]

Fun Fact: Soto is technically a "Civilian Authority."

HIMYM: Valentine's Day Massacre

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Marshall and Lily are the only two of our five friends who have a good Valentine's Day. The other folks are all slaughtered in one way or another. Robin receives a proposal, which could have been a very happy thing (though SO cliche and rather soon), but she decides to end the relationship because of it. On one hand, she's heartbroken. On the other, she has taken a mature step into knowing that, from now on, she probably shouldn't mess around with guys who want something different in life than she does. Now, this leads me to think that Barney can't possibly be the one who marries her... he wants kids and I don't see that changing. But could Quinn be the one for Barney? She may have the kinkiness of a stripper, but I don't actually see Barney being free of jealousy issues, so this won't work out in the long run... right? Either way, his Valentine's Day is wrecked because he can't get her out of his mind. Ted has a completely different experience... while he certainly could have gone home with any of the ladies on the train, he chooses not to, having no idea that Robin suddenly became unattached. So, Ted just shrugs off the idea of a Valentine's fling for no reason, only to fall back in love with Robin after she talks his ear off. Yeah, that's kinda all that could have sparked this revelation on his part... but for him that seems to be enough. Ted is just so scatterbrained sometimes, ya know?

How I Met Your Mother "The Drunk Train" (S07E16): The group makes random jokes about the "Top Ten Things Said on Marshall and Lily's Wedding Night." [why now? they've been married for YEARS at this point!] For Valentine's Day weekend, Marshall and Lily go with Kevin and Robin to Vermont, and the veterans tell the newbies not to keep score, giving examples. [hilarious matching sweaters with the moose!] Kevin proposes to Robin. [ahhhhh! I screamed! WHO SAW THIS COMING??!?] Robin tells him that she needs some time to think. [yeah!] The situation is that Robin has not yet told Kevin about her reproductive issues. She takes a baby-step in telling Marshall and Lily first (they know about the proposal), then confronts Kevin (off-screen). He still asks her to marry him, and his mother is quick to book a date, a venue, a caterer, and a singer. [wow... she must be really picky to want to ensure she got all of those things! When I got married we had a date picked out for several months before having to change it because the venue we liked best wasn't available that day.] Then, Robin clarifies that she not only can't bear children... she doesn't want them, either. Kevin is a bit taken aback, but he wants to marry her anyway, even though he grew up wanting children. She's afraid that he'll regret giving such a big thing up... so she breaks it off with him, despite the fact that he keeps on proposing. [well, this should get rid of Kevin! And, in true sitcom style, it happens just as Barney is falling for someone else...]

Barney and Ted don't have Valentine's Day plans, and they aren't doing to well lately in the ladies department. Recently, Ted asked Barney to be his wingman, forcing Barney to talk to a girl for hours, with her just turning him down time after time. As retaliation, Barney demands that Ted play in a Laser Tag tournament with him... as his son. [LoL at both of those ideas.] We learn that Barney was actually able to score with this woman, and now he's a bit hung up on her. However, he puts that to the back of his mind when Marshall and Lily share that the last train of the night from Manhattan to Long Island is known as "The Drunk Train," since the folks on it will go home with anyone. [I've been on drunk trains, guys... in three different states... they aren't all party central...] The first night Barney and Ted try it, they

Photo: Ron P. Jaffe/CBS

wait for ladies to come to them, but end up falling asleep. [seen it!] The second night, the ladies aren't impressed and keep responding to Ted and Barney with "you think you're better than me? and throwing drinks at them. [haven't seen it. but I laughed at Barney's "I pay for the meal, you handle my deal."] The next day, Barney tries to mathematically find out what's wrong with their approach (oh, by the way, Barney apparently went to MIT...), but Ted realizes that they just need to get drunk! [particularly liked the "U think U>me" part.] So, train attempt #3 has the guys drinking and acting disorderly on the train on Valentine's Day. Barney is a bit iffy on going back with any of the girls, which leads Ted to realize Barney might actually like Quinn, who we know as a stripper at a joint Barney frequents, though he apparently doesn't recognize her otherwise. [so weird!]

The episode has a terrible ending... Ted goes to console Robin, and confesses his love for her. [I even saw that one coming... but this is such a waste of time... we all know that Robin can't be the mother, at this point for at least a dozen reasons!]

House: Chase Treats a Nun

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 20:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Blah, blah, blah. Ten episodes to go, and we'll probably get a couple more "real" medical mysteries before everything starts wrapping up. This episode seemingly has no effect on the House canon, though it clearly takes place after Chase is injured. No mention of Taub's girls or Foreman's love life or Park's parents. We see Wilson for about a minute, and Foreman only has about four lines. I'm okay with this only because the title of the episode is "Chase," so it's clear that he's to be our focus. Well, after a near-death experience, he's coming to terms with life in much the same way that Thirteen did... sleeping around and partying. But, Thirteen opted not to go back to medicine, so there is a difference. I don't know that we'll see Chase try to live the hardcore lifestyle, but he's never been a prude, either. Anyone have any predictions on what we'll see with him throughout the remainder of the final season?

House "Chase" (S08E12): It's three weeks after last week's episode, and Chase wakes up with a random girl and he's bleeding through his bandage. [we don't really address Chase's injuries much, so I guess this was nothing.] He uses crutches to answer the door when House shows up (after calling and texting), and we learn that Chase hasn't come back to work yet, and he isn't sure if or when he will be. Foreman tells Chase that, if nothing else, he has to do clinic hours, so he does. His first patient is a nun-in-training with shoulder pain, and after asking about her stress level, she admits that she's been having second thoughts about becoming a nun.

Cr: Adam Taylor/FOX

Both angina and breast cancer are ruled out, even though House and the team bother Chase as he works. But, after the patient vomits and has numbness in her foot, Chase asks House for help. Chase (who did have a seminary background that was revealed seasons ago) continues talking to the patient, and learns that hasn't had an actual "calling" yet, but she feels she needs the convent. She also tells him that a little boy she was nannying for got hit by a car under her watch. [awww. that sucks.]

That night, Chase comes home from a boring date to find the pre-nun outside his apartment. They sleep together, and she wakes up spitting up blood, has ringing in her ears, and has a lot of neck swelling. Chase drives her to the hospital in his Land Rover, and House realizes that they slept together. [House always picks up on this stuff... so intuitive!] This could impede Chase's judgment, House lets him operate anyway, since he's the best of the team. He fixes her - turns out that she has a type of syphilis that was dormant in her system for years. Adams tells Foreman that Chase has been with the patient, so Foreman kicks him off the case. [OF COURSE Adams would squeal!] Chase continues to unofficially help out (no labcoat), and the patient tells him that she did experience a "calling" - though it was really oxygen deprivation. Chase tells her that he loves her, then looks up norepinephrine and near-death experiences... but ends up not showing her the information. When she's discharged, she decides to enter the convent, with her last act of physical touch holding Chase's hand. Chase then re-joins the diagnostics team. [what was with the plaid shirt and striped tie??]

The non-medical stuff going on this episode include Adams telling Chase that she's seeing a trauma counselor and suggests that he do the same. House makes soda-filled balloons and shoots paintballs at Taub, since the coward is now paranoid that he'll also be injured. To help out, he's taking Krav Maga classes and hiding from House by making up fake patient names and waiting in exam rooms. [hahaha!] Things seemed to wrap up when House goes to use a super-soaker on Taub, but it backfires. [nice!]

Two and a Half Men: Weathering a Storm

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 19:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Guys, this show sucks. I've been complaining about the stupid storylines and the fact that they do nothing with the hilariously-built secondary characters, but I'm serious now. This episode was actually halfway funny and it was STILL bad. A lot of that is due to the fact that so many of the jokes were stolen from other sitcoms through the years, but still. Lindsay and Zoey going at one another because of their differences in cultural mindset could have made for the best episode all season... but no. Alan and Walden heading out in torrential rain to buy tampons and ice cream could have resulted in some knee-slapping moments, but instead we're supposed to believe that Alan would cling for life and still take phone calls. Plus, that plotline was left open, so we'll just have to assume that they made it back okay... somehow. We're two-thirds of the way through the season, Ashton Kutcher has yet to sign on for more episodes, but the ratings aren't half-bad... I just want the show to end, though. Who's with me?

Two and a Half Men "Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy" (S09E16): Alan and Lindsay are spending a quiet evening at home (with Alan rubbing Lindsay's feet) when Walden and Zoey return from the opera. Lindsay complains about fat people singing in a foreign language, and Zoey accidentally offends Lindsay by talking about opera being a refines taste. [just noticed the opening now morphs Walden's face into the new, shaven look. freaky.] Then, Zoey complains to Walden about Lindsay, and Lindsay complains to Alan about Zoey. [those feces jokes were disgusting! Alan being turned on was even worse!] The ladies end up moaning loudly in the guys' respective bedrooms in an attempt to make the other one jealous. [c'mon, guys. really?] The next day is Valentine's Day, and Walden admits to Alan that Zoey's moans were faked... but Alan says that it was the best sex of his life. [haha... a little.] The ladies talk about the different things they're doing for the holiday. [I laughed at "or they could fly down on her private broom."] Unfortunately, nobody is going anywhere because a sinkhole has opened up outside the house. The girls are soon ready to go at one another's throats, and it only gets worse when the power goes out. Lindsay needs tampons and sends Alan out... and since Zoey is pissed, Walden goes with him. [really? even in that dangerous weather?] The girls actually eventually have some wine and talk about their exes, learning to co-exist to a certain extent. Meanwhile, a Walden has to save Alan from a mudslide. Alan, of course, isn't all that terrified, as he takes a phone call from Lindsay while nearly drowning... the woman wants ice cream. [shaking my head, guys.] This ends the episode. [seriously??!?]

Photo: Robert Voets/Warner Bros.

Pan Am: When in Rome, People Act Crazy...

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

First, what was with the honeymooning couple on the plane?? That was just absurd! The only thing that did was give more emphasis on a variant meaning to the episode's title. Not that the episode as a whole was strikingly better. Colette and the little boy was cute but it got old. Having Niko back could have led to some excitement, but it ended up not affecting much. The complete absence of Ted was weird, though it looks like he'll have a pivotal scene in next week's finale. Maggie's few lines were unimpressive at best. The revelation that Laura really is a virgin after all did catch my attention, but I'm not sure how identifying Kate as the "slutty sister" helped anything. Oh, and let's not forget all of the frightful outfits on the girls this trip! Dean was the only character with a worthwhile storyline, though his career as a Pan Am pilot may be over because of it. I don't know... while there is little hope for renewal at this point, could the "season" finale save the show?

Pan Am "Romance Languages" (S01E13): The group is flying to Rome, with Colette escorting a 12-year-old boy, Charlie. The kid immediately hits on her and steals Dean's watch, but redeems himself when he and Colette talk about the romance languages (specifically French and Italian) and joke about how English should be a dead language like Latin. [this kid is just weird.] He steals a small bottle of booze from her, but, luckily, he pulls off a cute magic trick, so all is well. Unfortunately, his mother isn't there to meet him when they land, so Colette and Dean wait with him until a housekeeper arrives. The couple invite Charlie to dinner, but that doesn't work out as intended. See, Ginny is in Rome, too, and wants Dean back. She had previously told him that she loved him, but he broke it off - their "good time" was over. This time, when he rejects her, she bangs her head into a window, so he goes to the hospital with her, telling Colette to go on to dinner without him. [Ginny = crazy.] At dinner, Charlie tries to order a bottle of wine, then

(ABC/ERIC LIEBOWITZ)

tricks Colette into a kiss! [little Casanova!] Later, we see Charlie with flowers, planning an apology to Colette, only to find another gentleman talking with her at a bar. [ewww on her outfit here... that yellow and grey one!] Charlie manages to get into her hotel room, telling her that she's a fraud, but Colette makes him feel better. [um, so weird kid-turned-Casanova-turned-psycho. how did he find and get into her room?? and in the middle of the night!] The next morning, Ginny asks Colette to come to the hospital, but the former's plan doesn't work, as Colette doesn't admit to being with Dean. Then, Mr. Hansen shows up, and Dean tells him that he was with Ginny a while back - he's not surprised, though, and suggests Dean begin looking for work with another airline. [we already know that Maggie was the one who leaked that info, though I'm still bothered by how screwy Ginny is... and why her former MARRIED lover would fly to Europe to deal with her!] After they're back in the US, Colette confronts Maggie about how she kept her job by telling Hansen about Dean and Ginny. [I wasn't a big fan of this scene... I might have written at least ONE of the girls to be a little more heated!]

Meanwhile, Laura leads Kate to believe that she spent the night with Graham, from the gallery. [I wasn't surprised she did so... I was surprised that she's still a virgin... up until now I was under the impression that she had already lost her virginity.] But, we soon learn that they didn't sleep together, and Kate tells Laura that being a "modern woman" isn't about losing your virginity. Kate tells Laura about her first time - a boy from French club after a dance. [wow... I hadn't realized that Kate lost her virginity so young!] Laura tries to act more mature by ordering an espresso instead of a hot chocolate. [hahaha. I still order hot chocolate about a third of the time. also, I didn't like Laura's dress in this scene.] Well, Laura tries to be ready for more action when she gets back to Graham, but instead tells him that she wants to "feel the liberation of anonymity," so she strips and asks him to photograph her. [um, didn't we already have iffy pictures of Laura as an issue on this show? YES. was she not "feeling liberated" then?]

We get a glimpse of Niko, and it's assumed he'll be back for the season finale as well. Aside from telling Kate that Croatia is better than the rest of Europe combined, he doesn't add much. [ewww on Kate's outfit when she arrives in Rome!] But, while abroad, someone bumps into Kate and frightens her with words regarding Niko. She calls Richard, who reassures her that it's unlikely her cover was blown. Kate is terrified, however, that she'll "disappear" like Bridget.

The Simpsons: Lisa's Valentine

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 18:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

I don't know about you, but I'm really just waiting for Number 500 right now. This episode was just filler, really. It was nice to have a holiday-themed episode instead of just random stuff, but I didn't find it particularly appealing. Lisa falls for a boy who seems to be her type, but it ends up ending horribly. Marge gets possessive over Lisa. Nothing much for Maggie or Homer. I preferred Bart's storyline the most, and even it wasn't all that great. He and Milhouse have a good idea to act out a television show... we all did that when we were kids, right? It wasn't the best choice of show, and they were really stretching for material (and an audience) by the end, but it made for a decent half-episode. Did you prefer the Lisa segment? Why?

The Simpsons "The Daughter Also Rises" (S23E13): The opening montage depicts Ralph as Cupid, shooting an arrow at the Simpsons logo in the clouds to make the "o" into a heart. The couch gag is a bunch of people over at the Simpsons house to celebrate 500 episodes, but Lisa realizes that this is only #499. [could've been a cute gag, but the 500th episode has been so over-announced at this point that it was kinda dumb.]

Homer is getting ready to take Marge out for Valentine's Day, which includes eating a rose to better his breath. [bleh!] Marge wants to give Homer the night off, though, so he and Bart go to the batting cages and arcade, while Marge and Lisa go out to eat. Marge dives to save the vinaigrette dressing from being contaminated

CR: FOX

by thousand island, which gives Lisa the opportunity to meet a sophisticated young boy, Nick. [Milhouse's parents together on Valentine's Day? and Miss Wyoming? is there??] Moe is also there, and offers Marge a bite of his ziti... at a price! It costs her "a nickel but we'll settle up later." [what the...?] Lisa and Nick go out on a date, making Lisa late to meet up with Marge to do some quilting. [what was with making the twins look like three people?] Lisa and Nick watch the "Running of the Bullies," have picnics, and write together. Once night, Marge reads Lisa Peter Pan, and Lisa admits that she has a crush on Nick, so Marge invites him over for dinner. [hehe, ] Nick invites Lisa to the Doritos Nutrition Fair, but Marge says that afterwards, she can't spend as much time with him, since she'll become a separate person from her. [hold the horses. Doritos sponsors a nutrition fair? hahahaha! and Marge's comment was pushing the limit... what an uncomfortable room! we also don't come back to this...] Lisa complains to Abe, who tells her an ancient story about lovers Pyramus and Thisbe. [haha at tetherball with Flanders' head.] He then agrees to drive the two out to a mulberry tree so they can have their first kiss. [is the kiss-under-the-mulberry-tree a real thing? also, LoL at the cops being after Abe because he has a tv remote in his pocket!] The kids take a rowboat, and Nick is just becoming more and more unappealing. The rest of the family is en route when Lisa decides to not even kiss the boy. [what kind of ridiculous water shoes was Marge wearing?? and what exactly happened to that airboat at the end??]

Milhouse and Bart are told to go play, so they decide to become MythCrackers, specifically about school myths, though they do try one where Milhouse is injured using a cell phone at a gas station. [oh, and what was with that messed up "Itchy and Scratchy" gag? though I'm glad we re-visited those characters. I did laugh at the gag about multi-platform television even being available at gas stations!] Bart and Milhouse then try to dispel the myth that hitting E8 on the school vending machine will electrocute you since it has no item. Bart uses Milhouse's finger to enter that sequence, and candy cigarettes pop out instead! Next up is to figure out whether going all the way around on the swings makes your body turning inside-out... nope! Bart makes Milhouse do it, of course. [haha at tetherball with Flanders' head.] Then, they head into a girls room to figure out if saying Eleanor Mackey three times in the dark will kill you. After Milhouse doesn't die, the kids all think that school is boring. Nelson has an interesting moment, however, when he cuts a Twix like a cigar, as he's moved on from candy cigarettes. Bart decides that they need to spice things up, so he has Groundskeeper Willie pretend to be a werewolf and eat Milhouse. [really? ridiculous!]

News Roundup: Mid-February 2012

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 00:15:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Renewals, Cancellations, & Scheduling:
As we mentioned earlier in the week, House has officially been canceled, so there won't be any more episodes after May. FOX renewed Kitchen Nightmares for a fifth season, though.

Flip Men, Spike's show about real estate investors, has been renewed for a second, 12-episode season. Ink Master was also renewed for a second season.

Shamless, House of Lies, and Californication have all been renewed by Showtime.

Bravo's Top Chef has been renewed for a tenth season.

TVLand renewed The Exes for a second season, set to premiere in June. [yeah, we did mention this in our recap of the first season finale.]

FX renewed Sons of Anarchy for a sixth season, even though season five has yet to air.

TLC's My Crazy Obsession premieres on Wednesday, March 7th, at 10pm ET/PT. Look forward to people who collect Cabbage Patch Kids or have entire households of pink items.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager has been renewed by ABCFamily for a fifth season.

SyFY has renewed Face Off for a third season and Being Human for a third season.

Bravo's Real Housewives of Miami was renewed for a second season.

The Bates Family (you've probably seen them on 17-, 18-, and 19 Kids and Counting) will be getting a television special on TLC on March 27th to share the arrival of their nineteenth child, Jeb Colton Bates. Rumors speculate that this mega-family is also negotiating a deal for a regular series.

TLC's Breathless Bride: Dying to Live premieres on Wednesday, February 29th at 10pm ET/PT, a new special about a woman born with cystic fibrosis waiting on a transplant.

TLC, along with OWN, have acquired the rights to the UK and Australian versions of Undercover Boss. TLC plans to begin airing them weekly beginning tonight at 9pm, while OWN will start airing them tomorrow and subsequent Tuesday nights at 8pm ET/PT.

A&E's Breakout Kings returns for their second season on Sunday, March 4th at 10pm ET/PT.

The Travel Channel's Ghost Adventures returnshttp://tvbythenumbers.zap2it.com/2012/02/08/travel-channels-ghost-adventures-returns-for-a-sixth-season-on-friday-march-9/119177/ for a sixth season on Friday, March 9th at 9pm ET/PT. Also, Hotel Impossible will premiere Monday, April 9th at 10pm ET/PT.

Nicktoons has Monsuno, a new half-hour action-adventure series premiering Thursday, February 23rd at 8pm ET.

TeenNick has Dance Academy beginning Monday, February 20th at 9:30pm ET. The half-hour show will follow 15-year-old Tara as she pursues her dream of becoming a professional ballet dancer, alongside other teens living in a boarding house. [TheTalkingBox plans to cover this show, so stay tuned!]

The Hub has The Aquabats! Super Show! premiering on Saturday, March 3rd at 1pm ET. It's about an alternative rock band, and will feature live-action and animated segments.

HBO's animated The Ricky Gervais Show will return on April 20th at 9pm ET/PT.

The Pauley D Project, the spin-off from Jersey Shore, will premiere on MTV on Thursday, March 29th.

FOX's Bones returns April 5th with Hotel Hell to begin April 6th, Bob's Burgers being back March 11th, and Touch officially premiering March 19th.

Jake and the Never Land Pirates has been renewed for a third season by Disney Junior.

Cast & Plot Updates:
Kevin Bacon has been cast as an FBI agent in one of FOX's yet-unnamed pilots.

Rosie O'Donnell's The Rosie Show ain't doin' so well. They've laid off ~30 employees and contract workers, plus they've eliminated the game show segment, as well as reduced the size of the studio audience from several hundred to about 70, and pre-taping more of the interviews. She also said that it wasn't authentic for her to get a conversation going with a big audience and a band.

Sarah Chalke, of Roseanne and Scrubs fame (plus a run on How I Met Your Mother) will star in ABC's How to Live With Your Parents for the Rest of your Life, a comedy about a recently divorced single mom who moves in with her parents. [too long a title!]

Tony Shalhoub and Allison Janney will star as the parents on NBC's version of the UK comedy, Friday Night Dinner. Instead of being Jewish, the family will just be "quirky." [I'm a little nervous about how NBC will translate this odd BBC show, but I guess we'll see!]

Liza Minelli had been cast as Victoria's agent on Hot in Cleveland, but she has had to back out, due to an injured ankle.

John Stamos has been cast as the star in Fox's comedy Little Brother, about a man who finds out that he has a half-brother who is an ex-con. TJ Miller will play the ex-con.

John Goodman is close to closing on a deal to be part of Downwardly Mobile, NBC's comedy starring Roseanne Barr as a surrogate mother of sorts to residents of a trailer park.

You may remember that we reported last month about Living Loaded being a new pilot for FOX called Living Loaded. Today we report that Mike Vogel has been cast as the lead, provided Pan Am doesn't get renewed out of nowhere.

Ryan Phillipe will be the star of one of CBS's untitled drama pilots, playing a young and ambitious new police officer.

Shows in Development & Other Fun Stuff:
More than 60% of the video streamed by Netflix subscribers during the fourth quarter of 2011 were television shows and miniseries.

With "questionable" photos of Cousin Amy Duggar, someone tried to extort TLC, threatening that if she wasn't paid $10,000, she'd release the images. Or, they could just cancel the show. The FBI have it under control.

TLC also ordered a new series, Southie Pride, about five South Boston families.

ABC has picked up two more comedy pilots, one written by and starring Reba McEntire, who will play a woman who divorces a cheating husband and moves her family from Nashville to Malibu. [is it just me, or is this turning into a comedy network?]

Tia Mowry and Tori Spelling are slated to star in ABCFamily's 2012 holiday movie, The Mistle-Tones.

Tia's younger brother, Tahj Mowry, is starring in Baby Daddy, a comedy to begin on ABCFamily later this year. The network has another show in the works: Beverly Hills Nannies. Also, Bunheads has just gotten the green light from ABCFamily, which is the tale of a Las Vegas showgirl who married someone she barely knows, moving back with him to work at his mother's dance school.

NBC's reboot of The Munsters is going to be called 1313 Mockingbird Lane - their address.

Nickelodeon has Life with Boys underway, with 22 episodes set to follow a 14-year-old girl who lives her an overprotective dad and three brothers.

Nickelodeon also has a new comedy series coming, NickMom Night Out, set to launch in the fourth quarter of the year on Nick Jr.

CBS has picked up a comedy (yet to be titled) that centers on a single guy in his late thirties who loses everything in the real estate collapse and has to move back in with his parents. Ben Falcone (Melissa McCarthy's husband) is a co-writer and set to be the lead. [how many shows do we need to have about adults moving back in with their parents??]

TBS is planning Sullivan and Son, a workplace comedy set at a bar in Pittsburgh, to air this summer.

FOX has ordered a family comedy pilot called The Goodwin Games, about "a father who leaves his fortune to his three children only if they agree to his terms. How I Met Your Mother's Carter Bays and Craig Thomas are two of the writers.

Iranian officials have banned Homer Simpson dolls, since they promote Western culture.

The founder of a now-defunct al-Qaida propaganda website has pleaded guilty to the online threats aimed at South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

If you want to chat with ABC talent, Bill Lawrence, creator of Cougar Town will be participating in a live Twitter chat (@VDoozer) on Tuesday, February 14th, 8:30-9pm PT. Carly Chaikin (@carlychaikin) from Suburgatory will be doing the same on Wednesday, February 15th, 8:30-9pm PT.

Bryan Q. Miller, a writer and story editor from Smallville, will be picking up where the show left off - in a comic book series, which will be digitally published starting April 13, 2012, with a new issue every week.

Roseanne is now the California primary ballot, representing the Green Party.

Archer - "Drift Problem"

noreply@blogger.com (JBTec) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:00:00 +0000

by Jonathan Bredemeyer

Archer "Drift Problem" (S03E07): Starting with Archer snoozing his alarm at 7am on his birthday, Woodhouse serves and then ruins breakfast in bed. Archer heads into ISIS very excited about his birthday, only to find the place abandoned. He runs into Carol and Pam cleaning out old files. Mallory walks in and claims a temporary fire drill as the team goes outside to give Archer a new Challenger. [Dodge, you should have just sponsored the episode and got some logos in...]

Kreger introduces Archer to his new spy car and all of its features. [Best feature: chilled decanters in the glove box!] Archer wrecks the bar immediately by forgetting to close it. As Archer takes it for a test drive and tries to apologize to the voice in the car, he uses the car's spy features to get rid of cops. Then, he heads upstairs to make Woodhouse clean the mess out of the car. By the time he reaches the garage, the car's gone.

Archer decides he has to go undercover in the 'high-end car thief underworld' to steal back the car. While asking Lana for help in the women's bathroom, Pam and Carol are in the stalls. Pam apparently runs underground races with the Yakuza [whys they always gotta be Asian???] and clues them into the details. Lana agrees to help and he narrowing avoids Mallory discovering the secret.

At the race, the ISIS's team disguise doesn't last long as Archer disrespects the main boss, gets beaten up, and pulls machine guns on the crowd in about 5 seconds. Carol is watching on her phone when Mallory literally slaps the truth out of her. [PS: she likes it...] At the same time, Archer confesses the story and the boss reveals they only sell drift cars. While Archer stumbles through some kind of excuse, Pam jumps into her car and drives them all out of there with the Yakuza following them.

Drifting around corners, Pam destroys all the Yakuza cars and knocks the boss into the water. Mallory and Carol show up and it's revealed Archer's mom stole his bike when he was 5 because he left it out unwatched (and she never gave it back), and now she stole his new car. Archer walks off in disbelief... Mallory already sold the car to a creepy black guy.

Memorable Lines:
-Archer: "It makes the Mach 5 look like a vag!na."
-Mallory: "Who the hell taught you to drive?"
Carol: "It's this guy I know, called MY DEAD FATHER... Yeah, I bet you feel like a d!ck."

Archer - "The Limited"

noreply@blogger.com (JBTec) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 03:00:00 +0000

by Jonathan Bredemeyer

Archer "The Limited" (S03E06): Opens with Lana and Cyril escorting a Canadian terrorist home with Mallory and Pam at a train station. Archer shows up trashed because he thought they weren't leaving until 6am the next day. After learning the terrorist's buddies are going to try and bust him out, Archer confesses he's always wanted to get into a fight on the top of a train. [Wow, so subtle at the foreshadowing... ]

On the train, Cyril is left to watch the terrorist while Archer continues drinking in the bar car with Lana. [Nova Scotian terrorists = hilarious.] Mallory complains about how small her cabin is, then moves on to trying bust into private cabins. She runs into the rest of the ISIS staff in Carol's private cars... about 5 of them. Archer [who is stoked that Carol's ocelot Baboo made the trip], Lana, and then Cyril show up while Carol is taking a bath. Lana yells at Cyril for leaving the prisoner alone. They rush back to, of course, find that he's gone while Archer makes a bad Paul Newman joke.

The 3 spies start searching all the cars: Lana and Cyril for the terrorist and Archer for "the terrorist and an ocelot, not necessarily in that order." The terror is hiding in a bathroom and thinks the ISIS spies have killed a black guy... [Begin Canadian comments about black people...]

Reconvening at the back of the train, Pam is skating around Ray while Carol is excited they might beat the record run to Canada. Carol's great grandpa was nuts for skating, "that and the Klan." The spies head off to go through the sleeping cars while Archer is covered in blood from the steak he was toting around to lure the ocelot. Cyril heads into the bathroom where he promptly get knocked out and disarmed. [not by the ocelot, the terrorist...keep up]

After Archer doesn't understand why Americans on a train have to stop going INTO Canada. He also thinks the Canadian mounted police are fake, so they pull guns on them. This backfires, literally. Just then, another set of Canadian police come in, face the first set, and commerce arguing. Before anyone can shoot, the ocelot runs in and sprays the group. It runs out and Archer pulls out a grenade (NOT a smoke grenade)...

The grenade levels everyone in the car except the super-spies while Carol demands the train get moving so she can beat the record. The Canadian terrorist bursts in, calls Archer a racist, shoots him in the arm, then runs off. Lana and Archer run past a stupid Cyril in the hallway and find the terrorist trying to take one of the ISIS staff hostage. None of them will join him, though. After some shooting, the terrorist and Archer end up on the top of the train. After way too much effort, Archer gets to explain that he didn't kill the black guy earlier and the blood on his shirt is from a steak. Then, BOTH sets of Canadian police end up in the room, on either side of Archer and the terrorist. Then the ocelot appears and starts running around, drawing fire from both groups of police. [so Canadian Police always shoot other Canadian Police before the bad guys... unless there's an innocent, cat-like animal nearby...]

Lana pulls the emergency brake, sending everyone flying. Archer grabs the side of the train and the ocelot, which bites him. The police ban the ISIS crew from Canada, arrest the terrorist, and arrest Archer with the ocelot for illegally importing it. [I don't care, Baboo MADE the episode... you know I'm right...]

Memorable line: Canadian Terrorist: "I can tell you never played much hockey. Probably too busy running around shooting black guys." [Is this why there's no black people in Canada? True question...]

Hot in Cleveland: Involved with Music

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 23:30:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Who knew that you'd be able to come up with an episode of Hot in Cleveland where all four of the ladies would have different interactions with musicians? It's an intriguing idea, but it didn't turn out for the best. You knew at least one of the ladies would be dating a musician, and, in this situation, it was Victoria. And, any of the remaining three could have been obsessed with meeting a favorite retired singer (Victoria wouldn't be happy with someone who wasn't uber-famous), but only Melanie filled this position here. This left Joy to be the one to impersonate a musician, and Elka to be the one who stole from a musician (those two could have gone either way, don't you think?). I'm not sure if it's just because the Johnny-Drago storyline was ridiculous, or if the whole episode just didn't jive with me, but I just wasn't a fan and have no plans to watch this one again.

Hot in Cleveland "I'm with the Band" (S03E11): Victoria is reporting about a famous rock duo (Johnny & Drago) that recently broke up but is reuniting for a benefit in Cleveland. She also happens to be dating Johnny, and even dresses like a schoolgirl when he comes over. Unfortunately, since she doesn't want a commitment, he's going to be seeing one of his backup singers some more. [the chocolate jokes? not so sweet.] Victoria's solution is to date someone who will make Johnny mad... so she chooses Drago, who is a bit more crazy. She even fakes making out with him, Weekend at Bernie's-style. [but it wasn't even funny.] Drago and Johnny end up fighting over Victoria, and Johnny tells her that he'll write a song about her, but he won't get to play it in concert because the fans only like to hear "the old stuff." [I thought that was pretty funny... since it's pretty true.] They end up making out and getting back together. [of course.]

Melanie gets really excited about a soft rock group that's going to be recording for the benefit, and apparently Joy is still dreaming of being a rock singer, so they also head down to the studio. [how tiny are Jane Leeves' ankles??] Elka also comes along, with plans to chop a celebrity's hair to auction off for her shelter. [this is my favorite premise within the episode. clearly.] She tries playing the grandmother

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card to get near Justin Bieber, but it doesn't work. Showing a security guard some puppies in a locket she's wearing doesn't do the trick, either. Later, when Drago is passed out, Elka snips a lock of his hair, tho! Meanwhile, Melanie tries to track down her longtime beloved star, but it turns out that he's a different guy with the same name! She doesn't realize her mistake until his name and title are announced later... but, luckily, he's also a fan of the same soft rock band so they still go for dinner afterward. [haha on Zoey Deschanel's "adorkable."] Joy runs into a famous singer at the snack table and poses as "Opal (Winfrey) from the BBC World Service" to ask her for an interview. Joy asks her to demonstrate her six-octave range, but she only pulls off four. She tries a few more times but ends up losing her voice. [I didn't realize that was Joy's plan all along, haha!] So, Joy dresses as the singer in an attempt to take her place, but she can't sing like her. [I'm not sure what Joy was thinking. Even if she could sing like the original girl, wouldn't she want credit in her own name?]

Suburgatory: Scott & Tessa...

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Finally, this show is getting back to its premise: George is terrified that his little Tessa is going to have sex. And, now that she's sixteen, it seems that she's more likely than ever to drop "virgin" from her dossier. Of course, Lisa really is the one driving everything... not only were the (second set of) condoms hers, but she also acts as if a website really can tell a person when s/he's ready to have sex. I understand the hilarity of this, since Lisa is the least likely character on the show to be getting busy, but I don't quite know why George just can't stop freaking out. Either his daughter is lying to him and she's having sex, or she's telling the truth and is still just "on base." What's his goal, exactly? To get Tessa to promise that she'll remain a virgin for another few years? To get Tessa to confide in him the way Rory talked to Lorelai about sex? It's clear he doesn't want to be "in the dark" (which is how Dallas seems to treat the situation with Dalia), but Noah really needs to hit home the point that George needs to be reasonable. But, I guess this is going to be a non-issue for a while, since Scott and Tessa broke up.

Suburgatory "Sex and the Suburbs" (S01E13): [Was Scott inside the school dropping off Tessa or something? what else would he be doing there? ugh, and what an ugly suitcase Dalia was pulling!] George tells Noah that he doesn't want Tessa to use sex as a recreational hobby, which only leads Dallas and Noah to suggest that George teach Tessa about different sex types and positions. [whoa, whoa, whoa. this was a bit much, no? Are we to believe that parents (other than Dallas) tell their kids about different sex positions??] Well, George decides to get the scoop from Lisa and Malik, inviting them over for an old-fashioned board game night. Tessa was supposed to be there, too, but since she and Scott have plans (dinner and fro-yo), it's just the three of them. George asks them what kids do on dates, and Lisa mentions talking and dancing and eating cheese, and Malik talks about making out... and reveals that he's kinda into Lisa. [I totally don't see this going anywhere soon... thought I could imagine the scenario freaking out Sheila!] Then, George gets awkward by asking what age kids have sex these days, and Lisa tells him that there's a calculator on the internet to tell you, based on your height, weight, hair length, and zip code. George goes online and it tells him Tessa's lose-your-virginity age is 16, so he tries to change the hair length, figuring that a haircut might solve his problem. [is anyone else completely shocked that George went and checked it out semi-seriously? also, Tessa is allegedly 5'4" and 110 pounds.]

George tries to talk to Tessa about sex, but he keeps chickening out. Finally, as she's getting ready to spend the night at Lisa's, George gets up the nerve to show Tessa the box of condoms that he found in her room. She yells at him for invasion of privacy. [just like every teenager does.] He tells her that casual sex is bad, but Tessa really just storms out. Over at Lisa's, Tessa decides that she might fake a pregnancy to get back at her dad, so the next morning at the club's Sunday Brunch, Tessa starts the "I'm hungry from all the sex I've been having... or maybe I'm eating for two. I'm thinking Xavier if it's a boy... or a girl." George doesn't get much chance to respond, since Tessa heads off to the gym with Dallas, walking her through her thought process on being with Scott. Well, she realizes that she and Scott have nothing in common. [if all the kid ever foes is talk about Zambian culture, I can't blame her! plus, it became clear that Tessa is only with Scott as a revenge of sorts when she demands a big kiss from him when she sees Dalia and her friends.] She goes to break up with him, but he's got a goat ready to present to George so that he can "officially court" her. He then invites her to lay with him in a tent in the backyard, and she's skeptical. Meanwhile, the weird girl from the club, Jocelyn, comes over to George's and they end up making out. [WHY??!? Why would George do that?!? he's in for a world of trouble now!]

Another storyline was going on throughout this, involving Dallas and her family. While passing off some clothes to a pick-up dry cleaner, Dallas finds a pair of M/L panties in with her husband's pants... she's not thrilled that he's with a "larger girl." [haha.] Dallas talks out the problem, but is caught for a moment when she's asked how big the problem really is... her husband is still an excellent provider. [not in love with the way Dallas thinks, but I LOVED Dallas's dress at the end! no idea where I'd wear it tho.] Soon, Dalia asks Dallas if she's getting divorced, then goes and brags about it to her friends... since she'll get double the stuff. [horrifying....ly funny.]

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The Middle: Love is in the Air

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:00:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

If you watch much of The Middle, you probably have realized that Mike and Frankie Heck tend to not make big deals out of things. This is only the show's third season and we've already witnessed them skim past anniversaries, their children's sporting events, several birthdays, and even an Easter. So, the fact that they might not do anything at all for Valentine's Day is pretty much expected. While they may not come off as the most romantic parents, young Brick is still able to realize that his parents love each other in their own special ways. [remember how much Cliff seemed to love Clair on The Cosby Show? or Eric and Annie on 7th Heaven? yeah, the Hecks are not the Huxtables or Camdens, LoL.] While my biggest gripe about the episode was the cop-out Axl used for his life-changing project, the most disturbing thing was the fact that Sue thought "french kissing" was kissing done under rainbows. I'm really curious as to how she came up with that conclusion. I mean, it's worse than some lingo that floated around my high school about how "making love" meant kissing, "special love" was french kissing, and "magic love" was actually having intercourse. But, I digress. Let's take a look at the whole episode...

The Middle "Valentine's Day III" (S03E15): In true Heck fashion, Mike and Frankie take down the Christmas tree in time for Valentine's Day. [see, I feel like this is a chore that they could assign to Sue - she could get the ornaments off and packed away just fine. I wouldn't trust her not to kill herself breaking apart the tree, but she could have probably gotten it to the backyard at least.] Brick comes home, upset that he was assigned to write a paper on love at only ten years old. [I remember feeling awkward being assigned to write a love limerick TO A CLASSMATE when I was eleven. we drew names, but still.] Axl is similarly upset at the idea of having to write a speech or do a video on a life-changing event, since Axl doesn't think that he's had one. [flashback to my own seventh grade where we had to do an illustrated timeline of the ten biggest moments in our lifetimes... I was stretching for ten things then, and at that point thought that "moving across the country" was my biggest life-changing event.] Axl's friends talk about using stories of being trapped ice, delivering baby sisters, and being dead for two minutes, which only stresses Axl more. He prepares a speech about how a girl turned him down, but after practicing it on the family, they all agree that it doesn't fit the assignment. They suggest he write about helping out at a homeless shelter or with Aunt Edy, working with his grandfather, or even thinking about a book that might have changed his life (that one is Brick's suggestion, of course). But, Axl decides to try and fake a moment - forcing Brick to act as a terminally ill brother for the video. Frankie yells at Axl, who ends up modeling his speech after Brick's paper... which is about the little things Frankie and Mike do for one another. [weak!]

Frankie and Mike weren't planning on doing anything special for the holiday - just eating a bucket of chicken at home (in separate rooms so they could watch their respective programs). But,when Frankie runs into some neighborhood women at the drugstore, they decide to go on a triple-date since one woman has a phenomenal coupon. When Frankie pulls the new plan out on Mike, he worries at first, but then is fine with it. The six enjoy their Valentine's Day meal, but when Mike doesn't buy Frankie a rose like the other guys at the table do for their wives, she is bothered. [I have mixed opinions on this. Yes, it would have been nice to see all the ladies get flowers, but at the same time you know they're expensive to buy individually...] She waits until they're home to confront him. [I wasn't impressed with their exchange afterwards. I think that they could have done better, but maybe it was a time issue at that point.]

Sue and Carly are selling carnations at school and are happy that they both have boyfriends this year. [no mention of what Axl does for Valentine's Day... weird. Especially when we see a scene at school...] Matt french-kisses Sue for the first time, and she's shocked that he put his tongue in her mouth. [whoa. they watch a lot of tv in this house, so how does she not know what french kissing is? I think Full House taught me, LoL.] Sue looks up on the computer how to talk to Matt about "his bad kissing," and even asks Brick his opinion. [whenever Sue teams up with Brick for something, I have to question everything about it... there's like a five-year age difference, guys.] After taking her out to an Italian restaurant for dinner, Sue

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tries to get out of kissing Matt by chowing down on her leftovers at the door, but it doesn't work. [very funny attempt, tho! see right.] Frankie has to explain what french kissing is, and a shocked Sue bravely tells Matt that she doesn't like it. Turns out, neither does he! [haha. only someone Sue would date would end up feeling this way. Though the whole situation really reiterated Sue's innocence a bit too much.]

Last Man Standing: Double Dose of Family Togetherness

noreply@blogger.com (AmyKB) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 19:30:00 +0000

by Amy K. Bredemeyer

Two episodes of a show airing in a single night is a love/hate thing for me. On one hand, it makes me laugh to see two different stories of a pretty funny show. On the other hand, however, it angers me that we're going to run through the season quicker this way. Luckily, ABC ordered a couple of extra episodes of Last Man Standing, but, either way, we're looking at just eight more episodes this season. And, being the family show that it is, I imagine that one will be Mother's Day, and one might even be Easter, and who knows what they'll pull for the finale, so probably only five regular episodes left. Well, regular being a subjective word, of course. it's clearly a family show - one episode has the family coming together when they fear their house may be haunted and the other has the family (minus Mandy) coming together to save a tree. The first preys on the fact that the paranormal frightens people, and after enough examples, even the steadfast begin to doubt. A good premise and a decent execution, but the re-watch factor is probably less than three. The second is more typical for the program, showing Mike taking out his frustrations through his marketing videos, Mandy doing something selfish in comparison with the rest of the family, and Mike "saving the day" in the end (though he tries to do that in both episodes).

Last Man Standing "House of Spirits" (S01E15): It's Mike's birthday, but that's not a major point in the episode. Aside from getting a breakfast frittata, a couple of gifts (notably Mandy's coupon book - complete with "a week of no talking back" and blackout dates - and Kristin's 17th annual subscription to the Bacon of the Month club), and a romp in bed with Vanessa, the birthday goes largely uncelebrated. Vanessa apparently doesn't always get Mike the best gifts, and Ed is used to receiving them as pass-offs, like last year's "improv classes." [really? who gets that for someone if they're not actually into improv?] This year, however, she gets him a book on the history of their neighborhood. [I agree with Vanessa - it's not a gift for just anyone, but could be a great fit for some. Similarly, my grandmother wrote a book about the history of the road where she grew up... I think it's cool that she did that, but I know it's for a very niche market.]

Mike begins reading the book and finds out that two women allegedly died in their house. Kristin and Mandy instantly freak out, which quickly escalates when a glass slides across the counter because of the condensation beneath it. [nice explanation by Vanessa. oh, and this show has the same goofy transition music as Home

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Improvement, too.] That night, Kristin and Boyd wake up frightened (more Kristin than Boyd), so they get into bed with Mike and Vanessa. Mandy and the dog soon follow, then Eve. The next day, the girls decide to hire a medium to deal with the ghosts, but all they learn is that the women died alone - a fact that makes calm & cool Vanessa consider moving. [hahaha.] Well, this leaves Mike having to step in and relax his family, so he puts together a video history of the house. He actually took the time to track down grandchildren and photos, as well as incorporate shots of the Baxter family in front of the house. [wow that's some work! no wonder he got nothing else done that day!] He lets it slip that he also learned about a kidnapping, but doesn't explain.

The other storyline going on is between Ed and Kyle. In a nutshell, Ed repeatedly doesn't have anything less than hundred-dollar bills or plastic, so Kyle spots him a few times. Kyle is already pretty broke, and doesn't want to confront Ed about the situation. [loved the line about how he can't afford to lose the job, but can't afford to keep it, either!] Well, once he has to walk four miles in the snow because he ran out of gas, he complains that Ed owes him $516, which he repays in the form of a fancy saddle. [you're kidding me, right? how awful! Mike couldn't have warned him a bit more?]

And, let's take a quick moment to be in awe of two other things we learned this episode: Vanessa had all three girls BREACH without drugs. And, Boyd ate a ribbon. [eeesh. on both.]

Last Man Standing "Tree of Strife" (S01E16): There's a bad storm brewing, and as the lights begin to flicker, a tree limb bursts through a living room window. [the jokes about the generators being gassed up and Mike being gassy were once again reminiscent of Tim's character on Home Improvement.] In order to rush out someone from the city (it was a city tree), Mike says that he thought there was an endangered species nest in the tree. Hoping for a speedy remedy regarding the property damage at hand, Mike is pretty upset when he's told that the city has voted to not be fiscally responsible for their own trees. Then, Mike is told that one of his own trees must be removed. Of course, this sends Mike through the roof, complaining to Ed that he doesn't like "the man" telling him to cut down his own tree, then doing a marketing video on an ATV, complaining that the government wants to call them STVs (for "sub-terrain" rather than "all-terrain") to keep you from driving them on the road. [although I mostly enjoy Mike's videos that provide an allusion to other things that are bothering him in his life, I can't help but draw the connection to the ways Tim used to do similar things on Tool Time within the Home Improvement realm.]

Ed's advice to Mike is to fight city hall, so the Baxter family begins by Vanessa pulling out her geologist knowledge and claiming that the city can't remove a tree without some HSR219 form. Then, they get an online petition going, try for emotional support from the community, draw soil samples, and even "Tebow" for the crowd at the hearing. [man if THAT won't be a dated move soon, I don't know what will!] Nothing really helps, though, especially not Kristin's attempt to read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. [that seemed very out of character... Kristin is supposed to be the smart daughter, so why would she read a book about a tree that gets cut down at the end of the story?] Well, the tree (where Mandy and Kristin both first kissed the same boy, in a random fun fact) gets cut down anyway, but Mike brings home a black walnut sapling for the family to plant just the same. [awww. supercute "Daddy Saves the Day" moment.]

While all of this is going on, Mandy has her own problems... Kim Kardashian is coming to the local mall, and Mandy is bound and determined to become her new BFF, even writing a haiku and limerick about her. When the moment comes, however, she gets nervous and says, "my name is Fandy and I'm your biggest man." [hahaha!] Then, in an attempt to hug Kim, Mandy has a clumsy moment and winds up just getting carried out by security. The whole scene makes the news, and Mandy feels just awful. However, she recovers quickly when Kim Kardashian shows up at the house (with a film crew), consoling Mandy by telling her that her family will always be there for her. [cute, but not really. also, since Mandy is under 18, wouldn't they need one of her parents to sign a consent form or something before filming?]