Online Therapy

Forced marriage

2011-05-17T02:05:00.000-07:00

Forced marriage are still happening in the UK and is a world wide problem, cultural differences are often used as a reason to validate the practice.
Do I have the right to judge other cultures?
As a therapist I work with clients to help them find a better quality of life, that can also be seen as trying to help promote their autonomy and take personal responsibility for their own actions.

Men and women who have to consent to entering into a marriage with a person they do not wish to be with is in my opinion an act of dis-empowerment, a total lack of respect for the views and wishes of the people involved.

So in this case I do make a judgement because it goes against my personal ethical thinking.

If a woman is forced to enter into a sexual act within a marriage is that not also rape?
So if a woman is forced to enter into a marriage she does not want is the sexual union in fact a form of rape?

Hypnotherapy live online

2010-04-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

I got an e-mail asking why I do not provide hypnotherapy live over skype?

To be honest I have tried it, I had a couple of volunteers and did a few sessions of hypnosis over skype.
It varied from being totally successful to a problematic experience for both me and the client.
A very important consideration was the quality of the clients equipment, good quality head phones and a comfortable chair seemed to effect the ability to induce a trance state or deep relaxation, as most people seem to spend the minimum required on a head set and video cam it was a common problem.

Problems with back ground programs starting up and effecting the service due to no keyboard or mouse clicks from the client could also be a problem after some time of no action.

One big issue seemed to be from the type of chair used, most seemed to have either a very cheep and totally inappropriate setup including old kitchen chairs or small stools and even one using a kids toy stool.

So yes it does work but as far as charging a fee for hypnosis delivered over the internet live I can't provide it as yet, not without the possibility of upsetting clients and possibly giving them a poor service.

I'M not saying it won't happen but at this time its not a feasible option in most cases at this time

Danger sexual experimentation can destroy your relationship

2010-03-09T04:41:00.000-08:00

Saving a relationship that has been put at risk by engaging in a threesome or group sexual activity is quite possible and it may even make the relationship stronger.
It can be hard work and will depend on honesty and an ability to negate any blame or at the very least a strong need to make the relationship work.

Introducing another person into an ongoing sexual relationship is always going to place that relationship under pressure, it can work for some and even save some marriages but for most it can damage or even end any chance of that relationship surviving.

So before thinking about all the excitement or possible enjoyment from such a sexual adventure just take some time to ask your self if its worth taking the risk of losing the one you love.

Free online therapy?

2010-02-04T08:32:00.000-08:00

The internet is a big place and I get many people asking for free therapy, I have to ask my self why people are willing to spend money on cameras new phones and expensive jewelry but when they they hit an emotional problem or life crisis therapy is to expensive?

Some are so poor that free is the only option but that does not apply to all, the thought that enters my mind when talking to some who profess they can't afford to pay I often quickly find out that they can pay or they are able to find funds for holidays and weekends away or to bet on the horses, I can only think that the all important relationship problem that they say is so important is actually not as important as getting that new TV or new i pod.

I do some free therapy when I can and have set up an online forums for people to find some support and free help and I answer the posts when I can ( www.therapyworld.net forums)

Its a matter of commitment for many, no money no commitment, if its that important they find the funds, so the new TV is more important than this so called all important life changing issue.
A sad fact that for some that material things are more important than mental health.

I wonder how many problems or personal issues are solved by a TV or i pod.

defensive attrition

2010-01-27T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have seen clients that respond very well in therapy and those that take time and patience just to build the necessary trust before the real work can begin, and then I have the favorite client the client that other therapists seem to give up on, the ones who don't do emotions and can't seem to connect with them selves, or bordering on hyper-vigilance, the defensive attrition that can form can seem like a game of chess, you try to engage the client and they move to block you and quite often the blocking move is just an automatic learned response, and yet they are crying out for help, they want to change but find it almost impossible to help them selves.

I have had a lot of success with clients that have seen a number of other counselors and even been told they cant be helped (not a good thought to implant in a client) and yet I normally find a way in and have an effect in just a few sessions before the next stage of defenses kicks in, a bit like peeling an onion, another layer forms and that needs to be opened up and removed.

Feelings of shear panic can well up like a high tide when progress is made and they struggle to build higher defenses to block the emotions or exposure they fear so much, this is in its self progress, its a reaction to a shift of conscious acknowledgment of the inner world and its fears.
It takes time and patience and a good understanding of your own defenses to undertake such clients but the possible outcome is well worth the effort.
I always allow more time than the standard hour and actually set aside another 15 minuets for the first few sessions, this is to offset the last minuet brake through achieved when their guard has been let down because they understand that the session is almost over and it will have to be restarted next time, this can lead to a feeling of safety just like some one who hates roller coasters can start to relax on the end straight before they get off.
The extra time can to them seem like the coaster has restarted and place them in a new continuation before they have the time to side step to another dead end.
Some do leave therapy but some return to continue the work and some find a new way of living life.
All clients are unique and need a bespoke approach and care needs to be taken when deciding how and when to challenge or engage the client and some times you need to take balanced risks before taking the chance of alienating the client or harming the therapeutic relationship, but some times we need to push this type of client or they will quite happily remain in their continuing repetitive cycle.

www.therapyworld.net