As I see it...

Will I ever be free??

2011-06-23T23:12:00.001+05:30

When I take up an issue of social importance,and try and pen down my views,i am left utterly confused,to say the least.The issues are far too many and at first glance seems too varied to cover with the limited knowledge of the world that i have.

But look at any problem we have,from national to local level,be it acute poverty,dismal health care and education system,to poor sanitation…u get the idea,right.The biggest mystery then:What forms the core of all these myriad and seemingly never ending problems that we face?

Is our political class responsible, which lacks the vision n the will to implement the innumerable welfare projects,but do have cunningness to siphone off the money being poured down in the schemes.This they do with so much impunity,that one wonders whether the Constitution of India(CoI) which was thought out by the then politicians-cum-freedom fighters,was written to hand over the power to “rule”(rather than serve) from the British to a class of people that is willing to make personal gains by any means possible,the kind that is the majority in our country;that the makers of the CoI had the misconception that their countrymen were indeed ready to work for collective good,the process of which the government is only the reflection of the collective consciousness,and thus effectively the tool by which the citizens can implement their betterment in an inclusive manner.But the 60 odd years of our so called independence proves otherwise.

We were indeed not ready.We blame our political class,but that is not that is not the complete truth.We all need to ask ourselves what we do in our daily life apart from amassing means for our personal lives,what we do for the society.Yes,it is possible to justify most of our actions on the grounds that we need to fend for ourselves.But what is certainly not justified is our complacency,the blind eye and the deaf ear that we put on display.”All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”.We learn to put our moral n social responsibility on the backburner very early in our lives,and this attitude has lead to the decay of the feeling of national belongingness,that which was at its zenith when we were led by Mahatma Gandhi.

The question remains ,what do we do now?Where should we direct our intellect,anger,dissatisfaction towards?

rOaDrAsh-3 contd…

2011-06-22T18:05:00.002+05:30

And I felt like I was in a dream,thinking things about the surgery that was to happen;only thing different was that i was all alone in the dream,no one else in sight,no one to talk to,as in usual dreams.This i think soon made me realise that something was amiss,and i wanted to get up,but i cud not ,as if my consciousness had no body to creep back in.I was so confused as to what was happening,i remember my thoughts running wild,unable to grasp wat was going on.

Suddenly i heard someone talking ,and i saw myself in an unfamiliar room that was spinning like hell,and i took that too as a part of the dream i was floating in then.And i fell back to the nothingness i was living in since i was drugged.But that set of unfamiliar voices,spinning room,a running fan all kept flashing again n again ,and as the drug slightly wore off,I wondered that may be that unfamiliar setting is the reality where i would find myself back.I felt a slight discomfort at my right shoulder,and that i presume gave the setting some credibility..I tried to open my eyes ,but things were spinning so fast,my eyes closed shut on itself very quick.I heard my family talking all around me,and i realised that i had been operated upon by that point.The time was 12 noon.

For some time I kept talking with hand movement,and speaking meekly to ears held out close to my mouth,unable to keep my eyes open.I slept twice and finally at 8pm,the drug completely wore off,and i started to get the hang of things around me.At around 10pm,I was back at my “home sweet home”.

As they say ,the experience was “nothing like anything”.

rOaDrAsH-3

2011-06-22T15:52:00.002+05:30

Went to the clinic at 6 am.No one was to be found there,not even the attendents,who arrived no sooner than 7,with the even-if-you-die-i-am-not-responsible document to shrug the doctor off of any ungodly outcome that may befall the operation, got it signed by my dad,and 2 witnesses.

Then I was “ushered” in the operation theatre at abt 7.05 and made to lie down on a bed that was hardly wide enough to accomodate even an average person:

As it was the first time for me in an O.T,i was anxiously n curiously noting the proceedings like how B.P.,pulse,etc are monitored with the engineered medical tools. Was administered anaesthesia at 7.50 ,and i started to grasp the idea of earth’s rotation at its inclined axis pretty quickly.i thot i wud now sink into oblivion any minute.But that was not to betide,and thus followed another dose ,that made me lose myself so quick i dont remember a moment past the point.

opps!battery is running low on the laptop,will have to complete this on later…

rOAdraSH-2

2011-06-19T22:32:00.002+05:30

hav been bedded for over 20 days now.situation has changed from “painful n hopeless” to somewhat less painful but nonetheless hopeless.

dont know how that curve crept in the x ray for 9 june,when subsequent xray on 18th revealed nothing of that sort(only lateral non-alignment).Doctors said that it was not subject to interpretations by a layman like me.But that how could I not draw conclusions that something had gone terribly messy inside me

On the the top of that,I had(read have) to listen and entertain myriad views from my wellwishers on how should i progress with the treatment :whether i shud leave it to heal all by itself (that it does in 9 out of of 10 cases) or go ahead with the operation and get a plate fixed to hold the ends together.

Confusion!

Confusion!.

Even the doctors seem to hav varying opinions on the course of action,one even trying to frighten me to death on complications(tho rare) involved in surgery.And another saying that union may or may not happen ,and that made me decide:am going under the knife,tomorrow morning at 6.Am still not very sure if it is the right thing for me. Am hoping that all goes well and i cud get back blogging with both my hands on the keys soon.

We will wait an see then.

rOAd rAsh

2011-06-10T14:43:00.004+05:30

hav often heard that u dont remember a traumatic experience (like a severe road accident,relating to mine) in all its fullness after it has gone past.
I too do not.Was wondering y? may be its all for good,that one need not bother oneself with the cause ,but be prepared to deal with the consequences.
And then i also wonder,what could i have done,to miss that mishap,to absent myself from this fate,the physical ordeal that is to continue for like a month more.

As we say,bala tali,grah tha,to make ourselselves content with whatever ill-fate has befallen us,it makes me wonder.

X and Y:m I a loner??

2011-01-16T03:51:00.003+05:30

X:thr?

Y:yup!!

X:dude?

Y:kya hua be

X:In a week how many times u call home
or they call u?

Y:y do u ask re
on an average once
???

X:and who else do u call?

Y:pahle bata ye kaisa survey hai?

X:It's not a survey
m just checking ki m i the only one who has screwed up his relationships

Y:except for home,
aur kisi ko shayad hi kabhi kabhi,may be once in 1 month or 2 months
y do u ask?

X:because i don call anyone

Y:not even home?

X:sometimes if i m busy I even dont recieve calls.. and baad mai call karna bhool jaata hoon
ghar waale mujhe call kar lete hai once a while
but I dont remember calling them without purpose

Y:abe almost same mera bhi yahi haal hai....and mostly the purpose ..money

X:mere cousins specifically mujhse naraaj hai...uncles and all...they feel as if I ignore them

Y:wat happens to me is that i dont find anything to talk abt

X:And also...
and the big one
I kind of have a girl

Y:he he

X:Let's not get into specifics of who she is

Y:kind of bole to,committed nahin hai kya ?

X:She lives in Delhi with her parents
committed nhi
we r not yet clear...things are messed up

Y:wo ya tum?

X:Both I think
Some engineering college in Haryana
She stays there in hostel

Y:wat..she eats up all ur time or sumthing?

X:nah...i dont let her...
The issue again is phone..

Y:?

X:She loves to make long calls...the ones that last hours..I dont
15 minutes is more than enough for me...

Y:everywer its the same ,they talk 2 long

X:She was in Delhi for the last 15 days..and we didnt meet once
Hardly talked on phone...

Y:n y was that ?

X:Now, when She's gone...I regret it
i dont know...imulsive procastrination..i guess
*impulsive

Y:lol re

X:i always thought ki kal mil loonga..kal
..kal..
par aaj when it was the last day....interview aa gayi

Y:thats sum story....gf ke liye hi waqt nahi

X:room par baith kar bore hota rehta hoon

Y:abe itna doori lagta hai, to use dost ki tarah le na

X:that is what I have planned
and I am now looking for some other chick who is based in Delhi

Y:le tu bhi chaupat ram hai
sale us ladki mein kya kharabi mil gayi tujhe,aisa aksar hota hai be

X:abey koi kahrabi nhi hai...or may be I have not come across
one
but I dont think ki I can keep that going

Y:jaisa tu soche

X:but still....
before her phone calls, I thought i was a good listener...but she made me realise that m not

Y:sale relastionship se listening kar ke tu ladkiyon ko samajh raha tha kya?
i 2 m confused,to tell d truth i mostly call home once a month ,and i m not really sure y is that

X:I have figured out...
I m a loner....
and I cant help it

Y:abey evr1 needs sum space of his own..thats not being a loner

X:maybe I need a bit more

Y:the more confused u r abt things the more space u need,and the more u push people away

X:would a rgime help?
*regime

Y:a routine u say??

X:hmm...
but the problem that I feel with it is...It brings artificiality...u no more remains natural
*remain

Y:abe routine helps but that feeling creeps in again sooner or later...jyada aage ki na soch be ...be urself

X:last semester...I have loads of time at my disposal...

Y:to(then)
?

x:aajkal aise time paas kar raha hoon
trying to figure out what is wrong with me

Y:nothing re...evr1 is different n so r u...dont figure out wats wrong..but rather just figure urself out

03:03 a.m.

2011-01-16T03:12:00.009+05:30

Some pieces are to educate the readers of the informations and analysis of the writer on a topic both are concerned with,sum to just share one's views on whatever the writer may feel like and the reader interested therein,sum to bring to light something he may see important but nevertheless neglected(e.g.the way the electronic media handled the Niira Radia tapes issue has left journalism to the internet in a country where internet penetration is in its infancy!),so on and so forth.And sumtimes he(forgive for not going with the non-sexist he/she;makes writing damn complicated!!) may write just to write,just bcuz there on that white space in front he may paint his mind a little.

Give the randomness inside his head some order,try and guess if that has any symphony to it.Many a times,he cant tell ny1 wats eating himself from within,knowing they wudnt get that nyway.

a difFeRent and not-so-despondent take:

iTs alwaYz a plAyzer

2011-01-13T02:08:00.003+05:30

One of those matches that keeps u glued to ur screen for the whole time,right upto the very last ball.And to the last ball it went,and seing austrailia go down is "always a pleasure".I dont know y its like that,but i guess the reason is that i have seen them dominate the world cricket for far too long,and a change feels good.
but hats off to Shane Watson!!

Hindustan:Banka Sanskaran-Khel

2011-01-13T00:33:00.006+05:30

Need 148 off 107,having three more to walk back to the dressing room.Zaheer Khan swinging the blade like a katana for watever he can manage.This is the Indian team in the 1st ODI of the MTN series in Durban,SA.Synopsis:bouncy fast track and the rest is just simple enuf to paint vivid.But I hav got nothing else to do,so.
Oh!and Raina walks back.

The number one test team has been too inconsistent in ODIs.And this is the way it begins most of the series in the recent past,faltering badly initially,to recover later in the series.
Right from the beginning of the Indian innings,the match was never evenly poised.Sachin and Murli were done in quickly,and the rest of the middle order was exposed to the ruthless pace and bounce of SAn bowlers, especially 6'5" Morkel.Having landed in Alkebulan just four days ago,Rohit Sharma and Yuvi cud not cope.The way they were playing seemed as if they wer protesting that they shud hav been called sooner.
As has been the case for more than a year now,Kohli showed the technique and the temperament of a matured class cricketer;why he does not get a chance in test cricket while Murli Vijay does is beyond me.
Just when Dhoni and Kohli decided to kick up the tempo,Dhoni had to face the most unfortunate dismissal a batsman can have,run out at the non-striker's end,the shot just boucing off the bowler's hand and hitting the stumps.Raina came in and was forced to reveal his fear of short balls,that he survived somehow.But Kohli got out next over trying to loop out a delivery for four,to take advantage of the batting powerplay the team had just taken.And the match was all but finished!!

travel-logue

2011-01-11T22:52:00.006+05:30

Left bhagalpur at 7.30 a.m for Banka,half an hour later while we were rolling on at 50kmph or so ,two dogs who were at peace when we were still 10m off them,decided to play "khatron ke khiladi" n leapt in front at once ,giving no time to break.One was thrown to the left ,n one cud not be seen,guessed it went under,but I heard the "kaeh-kaeh" 1 sec later to discover that it dint find any tyres down there.
The car got a dent in the radiator and all the coolant leaked off gradually,which we discoverd later, forcing us to stop 3 times to fill the coolant tank with water that was leaking profusely,and at last the overheated engine gave up.
Hired an auto-rickshaw,got a "tochen" with a thick rope(which broke once),and reached a garage at about 11.

7 p.m. and we were still at the garage,when the mechanic declared that the engine gasket is burned and will need one more damn day.

PS:got a new Kodak at home,awesome night mode!!

love the series!

2010-08-26T11:17:00.002+05:30

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up.Our answers were things like astronaut, The President or in my case, a princess.When we were 10 they asked again,We answered Rock Star, Cowboy or in my
case, or my case gold medalist.

But now that we've grown up, they want a serious answer.Well, how about this?
Who the hell knows.This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions. This is the time to make mistakes.Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere.
Fall in love, a lot.Major in philosphy,because there's no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind and change it again because nothing's permanent.
So make as many mistakes as you can; that way someday when they ask what we wanna be we won't have to guess, we'll know.”

liked the thought.

how come they all…ohh…I see!

2010-08-26T08:58:00.001+05:30

the ECE dept.,celebrating Onam..

defiance and/or vent-off

2010-08-25T20:14:00.002+05:30

Except for the fact that people cast their vote, and a "free" media there is hardly any semblance of democracy in the ways of our country.

This system of governance that was designed by the British,with the sole purpose of ruling and not serving the country;the rules - for the British,of the British and by the British-has been by and large adopted with the British replaced by the power hungry and greedy section of the society,that are our politicians.Thus so much power vests in the hands of the politicians that the one begins to wonder about the independence of the judiciary,legislative and the executive,as laid out in our constitution.The executive has a much stronger hold over the society than the judiciary –having the whole civil law enforcing agent of the constitution-the police-as its puppet,to play with the people as it wills.

The MPs make legislations,the government implements them.The disapproval over the law that follows in many cases, mostly stems from the fact that the decision-making process does not involve the people that are going to be affected by it.
As one would wonder that if the MPs are choosen by the people,does not that mean people have a say in the process of making legislations. Thinking of it,how do people decide which candidate they should vote for?

For almost all of rural India,caste is the most important factor. For urban regions(where educated people need evolved tools to be manipulated) the parameters are both larger and somewhat complex,but nonetheless including caste,money(hence power and influence),media(and hence the extent it is biased depending on a candidate's "influence")...
The incumbent government is always at a higher ground thence,as it gets to advertise as it wills-by using hoardings that we see all across the cities and the newspaper pages exclusively dedicated to "let" the common man know of the various schemes and projects being undertaken by the government all over the country-these fooling only the most naive,and is an important tool for rural regions,where people are so desperate for any development that even though they know what most of the candidates are up to,they want themselves to believe the promises that are made to them.And depending on which candidate has made better promises,combined with caste factor,they go to polls each time hoping for a government that would give them somewhat better chances of survival than that "ruled them" earlier.

Also the voter is faced with one more dielemma;when he votes for a candidate in his constituency,not only is he choosing an MP for that constituency,but at the same time choosing the national leader,PM, by voting for a particular political party to which the local candidate belongs.Thus he has to shoot two targets with one arrow;this is so as the voter may like the leader of a party say Congress to be the PM,but to vote him up he has to choose the congress candidate of the constituency he is in,who he may or may not like to represent his constituency.
This system of voting makes things as complicated and ugly as it can get.Bills cant get passed(except for those that serve the MPs) as the arithmatic of the coalition government is far to complex;no government gets elected with a majority of its own,and is thus always too weak to make any radical changes that the situation of the country demands.
As a result we have become a country that cannot decide whether women should have more say in the administration,whether the PDS should be universalised(or should I say whether let millions die from hunger or not);the number of pending bills just goes on increasing.Even though we have an economic-architect as our PM,we dont see the most obvious reforms being implemented,as he can hardly take a decision on its own.

I think I will stop here .More when I get frustrated again with the ways of governance...this time it was the CWG and the MP "salary" hike(now 68 times an average indian earns,not including the salary they get for not spending public money on public projects).

Give us the OLYMPICS next time!!

2010-08-25T19:45:00.001+05:30

On CWG and how corruption goes with everything in India-
"We are a curious nation. For nine months we pray for the monsoon, and the moment our prayers are answered, we have no idea what to do. It is as if the showers came once a century rather than once a year.
You don’t need to summon Agatha Christie to solve the plot. Most of our roads are constructed for annual destruction, since there is more money to be made in rebuilding than in building. Governments are not merely hand-in-glove with contractors; they are hand-in-pocket. Shared loot is safe loot.
What does the System do when it does not have an answer? It changes the question.
Witness how the rage against corruption in CWG has been manoeuvred into a debate on whether they can be held successfully. Who was responsible for this delay in the first place? Even this question has been diverted.
We do not know if any race in CWG will see a nail-biting finish, but certainly the preparation has acquired a nail-biting dénouement"-M J AKBAR,Sunday Guardian.

Everyone knows what part corruption plays in our day to day life as a nation,anything I write would be just under-emphasising.
Foreigners ask "How come your Hotels are so good when your roads are so pot-holed?"-simple enough-roads construction involve politicians while (most) hotels dont,so a road has to break down so that money can be made again next year.

And God,the amount of money they have made over the CWG,can make the mouths of even the greatest critics,go watery.

Life gOes oN!!

2010-08-23T23:41:00.001+05:30

The ability to think has been the greatest gift bestowed upon us by G__ or"whoever it is"-this I sincerely believed.I also read somewhere that it was the way of the universe through which it tries and tends to understand itself.Nice na?
Life gives one or two jerks,we are thrown out of the “way”and all these thoughts disappear into nowhere.Restlessness sweeps in.This is also the time when we start to know insomnia in somewhat greater depth.
One thought leading to next.
I imagine it like a large bell inside a reverberating chamber(that is my head),where my thoughts are both:the sound that the bell produces and the also the hammer that hits the bell to produce the sound in the first place.This way the clamour just keeps getter louder and louder inside the head.It dares to crack your skull out-and it cant come out.The outside is too vehement already and there is no chance of a resonance between the two.Even then so many of us manage to retain our sanity somehow, is an amazing feat in itself,I think.
The actions that we take are nothing but the worldy form of our thoughts,and our actions determine the quality of life we live,which in turn influences our thoughts.A vicious cycle indeed.

Getting a grip seems almost impossible as your mind is too busy then playing host to your past’s "should have's-shouldnt have's"and projections of how nice it would be if this and that happens.Always thinking of the past ,planning for the future ,never bothering for the present.
Then someday somehow you pull yourself together to escape this maze.It seems only a matter of time when you are lured in again as mind we are not seperate from this gift called “mind”. Thence

LIFE GOES ON!!

LIE begets TrUtH

2010-08-08T03:23:00.002+05:30

Imagine how the world would react to the announcement of The DOW Chmicals’ spokesperson that the company is going to pay its liabilities of US $12 billion towards the world’s worst industrial disaster ~Bhopal.How the victims would feel? No need for that visual modality actually,one just needs to go to the news archives of the 20th “anniversary”(for DOW it certainly is one delighting moment,for it got away un-liabilitated ) of the tragedy.

It was pulled off by “THE YES MEN-FIX THE WORLD” , a loose-knit association of some 300 impostors worldwide,with a single moto:”Impersonating big-time “criminals” in order to publicly humiliate them.Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.”

I cant say how much I liked and enjoyed the idea.After the announcement was made on BBC-World TV ,to some 300 million viewers worldwide,every news channel could be seen with analysts and experts saying that what needed to be done has been done,a very very rightful thing to do,better late than never…..

And after it was realised it was all a hoax about 2 hrs later ,what was on was that how the imposters had hurt the feelings of the victims by creating false hope.The two “imposters” CAME TO India to try to find out if that had been the case.To their surprise,after interacting with a lot of victims ,they found out that they were rather happy that someone had raised the issue that the world seemed to have long forgotten."Sometimes it takes a lie to expose the truth.”-they say.

Just so that u know,DOW paid all Union Carbide’s liabilities in the US- courtesy a robust judiciary,but didnt bother about more than 5 lakh victims in Bhopal.And coutesy to the snail’s pace of trials in our country-the verdict of the Supreme Court of India came 25 years later.What is even more hilarious is the charges the culprits have been convicted with ~same one gets for a traffic incident.

This kind of mockery of the value of life and citizens create an environment where corporates think they can do anything,and actually start doing so-in the name of collateral damage for the sake of development and greater good.

Take TATA Communications,e.g.,which has been shitting us for months now with its service,parting us from our hardly-ever-enough money.I even need to hurry writing this piece out for I dont know when the connection will die again. Had it been the US I would have had them sued at least 10 times by now.This frustration is the reason I went on to detail aaaaalllllllllllllll that,by the way.

Oh..am really slow with the keys.

continued…

“Midnight” CrUnKiNess

2010-08-04T15:17:00.001+05:30

uh…em…actually cant make up my mind about wat to put up.I dont actually recall the pretext that made me sit and punch the keys last time.

hav been thru a bad(read worst) patch of my life,and ever since...cudnt think of nything worth writing..or the worth of writing altogether,for that matter.

often wonder wats the use of doing this and doing that in life..concluding many a times :wat is valued is not valuable,and wat is valuable is not valued in this world,baffling myself with questions about the wastefulness of things we aspire for and in the wake of which overlook(deliberately,more often than not) and lose sight of things that matter the most.And so on ..and on..how cud hav i generated sumthin readable then.

But screw “readable”,this is my space at the end, and I post wats in my “mind”(which am sure is not much blog-gy at the moment).And also confusing and befuddling is the new whiz.

This is the junction of life at which we start to accept a few things,having already abandoned the path we hoped we would take one day.By this time some of us (include me for sure)are full of new qualities : lack of courage,confidence,fear of failure,desire to fit in and the like;we just flow(submerged),unable to breathe.

thats all for today,Good Night me.

P.S:cudnt even find a fitting image,and I recently saw this movie,so.

tHe ImPeCcAbLe SoLuTiOn

2009-10-03T07:34:00.002+05:30

For years ,(bio)scientists,have been trying to make clones of human beings.
Experiments were underway since the 50's.Many attempts has been made since on various animal species(mice,sheep,cat,etc etc) ,but human cloning remains a dream(though ethically challenged by many)even today. But believe me when I tell u ,they have been looking the wrong way on this .
For these few weeks ,I have been watching a TV series LOST .And it gave me the idea on how to do it.Am publishing this journal(ha!) so that scientists (all over the world) may see and work on my idea,because I dont hav that kind of facilities that they do have.
I figured it out that instead of dedicating its time to biological experiments,the scientific community must focus on physics.Yes,Physics has the answer and the solution is

GOING BACK IN TIME.

The clones as we get through cell mutation are almost nil as far as knowledge or experience they should possess with(according to) their age(refer to TV series KYLE XY).
But if a person is made to travel back in time ,the back-in-time one has got everything as far as his mind and body is concerned(actually,he is a notch higher,after having got the time travel experience). A 20 year old sent back 2 hrs ,can be called an almost perfect copy-cat.(This may even be applied to species that r on the verge of extinction…O God ,m a genius)
But I am sure this approach will have even stiff opposition from the conservative lobby regarding the effects it will have on the society.

(But wen has the mankind refrained from doing things that were not "ethical" or "moral")

X ,Y and Z

2009-09-28T02:18:00.003+05:30

Yesterday was Mahanavami, the 9th day of Durga Puja,the day when u finally r free to "eat"-eat as in eat chicken.
n free to "drink".
yes,boozers crave for this day to come since the first day of Navratri.

three of my friends(names not disclosed 4 my safety) X,Y and Z ,members of MDA(Manakkat Daaru Association) ,this evening:

X to Y:abe aaj laya jaye kya,bahut din ho gaya!
Y:chal ,hum ready hain.
X(on phone)to Z:abe aaj piyega,kya bolta hai.
Z:nahin be ,hum chor diya
X:bhak sala ***
Z:sahi mein,ab nahi pite.
Y:sala nautanki karta hai.

after 5 minutes Z comes in person.
X:kya karne aaya hai??
Z:abe aaj pee lete par ab chor diye ye sab.
Y:isko iski girl friend kasam di hai.
Z:aisa koi baat nahin.

some convincing and threats(if I ever see u drinking ,i will piss in ur mouth) and Z agrees.
But they cudn't decide on beer or vodka and Y backs off the plan.

Z(not too willing to drink at the first place):dil kah raha hai pine,dimag mana kar raha hai.
X:kya karna hai bol jaldi,lana hai??
Z:lets toss and decide.

As I dont(read cant) drink,I was given the coin.HEADS for a yes,TAILS-plan is off for today.
I flip the coin up,and their eyes follow the coin on its way up and then down ,desperate even to make out its flipping mechanics and know their fate for the night.

TAILS.
Z:bhagwaan bhi nahi chahte ki humlog piyen.
X:chalo tab aaj hatao.

5 min. later: Z is on his way to his flat; X grabs his Computer Graphics book n starts leafing thru.

flat-hunt_ part 2

2009-09-26T06:20:00.003+05:30

this happened 2 days back.

left with no other option,we were forced to live in the same flat ,placating ourselves about the benefits of staying on.The flat is indeed large ,3 rooms ,hall,proximity to our college(all these r just blah-blah,if we take into account the rent that we pay).

But then started the evil plot again.Shohail left too ,to some extent un-announced.This he did to go n live wid the students of his branch ,that may help him in his studies,and so we couldn't say much.

And we were in a greater pinch this time,having have to share the rent between 4 of us now..The same process of flat-hunt started all over again and we found one that was close to the one we already live in.
The owner told that the tenants that were there then, would be leaving by 30th of September.So the flat was out for grabs.We rushed out there with the cash.
The land"lord" comes out and blows the "news" on our face. Tells only then that they have been informed by their tenants that thay will be staying there for a month more.And that we can have the flat to ourselves from Nov.
Thus we r stuck again at the same flat for now.
"ab to kharcha 20 tak bhi nahi chal pata.agle mahine kya hoga!!"

tWo con-secutive "kattaaa’s"

2009-09-25T04:57:00.004+05:30

The six person flat we used to live in has now changed itself into a big-time money sucker. Already hit by the big-ticket way of life at cochin,now we almost feel like pauper.
When one mate defected out,we thought we should start looking out for some cheaper n smaller flat.

Till the 20-25th of the next month we sat idle,and suddenly we realized the burden the house rent was going to put on us if we stayed on.We sniffed for flats and as if God couldn't bear us in penury ,we found one.

But then all couldn't agree wid shifting to that one,as "it is too small" n "owned by HOD of one of our college departments(thus was presumably "no-no") .So the search started again,after giving assurance to the "HOD" that we will be back with the advance money in 3-4 days.
Nevertheless,this is real world and u dont get to eat free food daily.We cudn't find any "inhabitable"one and thus the consensus was(read had to be) built over the previously-looked flat.

We ,i think it was 29th of the month,went to give the advance and be the surrogate owners.We were at "the"flat and saw 3 of our juniors already talking to the owner,and we about to leave.After they were gone ,and we were ready to be devoid of our cash,she tells that the flat had by then been booked.We,in vain, advocated of our "arrangement" that we had made 4 days back.

It was cleared that she took the juniors to be us ,and the confusion cost us at least Rs.2500 in extra for a month of staying on in the flat we had been living.Letting us find the flat at the first place, was a part of some long con played on us,I comprehended.
The first bolt had hit us out of a razor-blue sky.(wid the promise to return with his thrashing hand again!!) .

contd....

itinerary contd…

2009-09-23T07:58:00.004+05:30

The first thing i felt when we entered the gaming room and looked at the playing terminals was:wtf.
(We were supposed to play on laptops which we really detest owing to their generally low performance that swipes away the flavour and intensity from the game.)

Anyway the match started with us winning the toss round.
Right after the first two-three round, we almost knew that we were going to win and eventually ended thrashing the host team 9 to 0.

Then came round 2.Last year champions got defeated and were knocked out.This gave us a glimpse of the things to come.But we were there to enjoy ourselves and so,we wern't much concerned.

I had become somewhat dizzy by the time our next match was to start.In the meantime ,we had some snacks at the college canteen(we ate n drank while nirbhay sat ,salivating;he cudn't eat ,thanks to his navratri fast).

The next match started with a clan named "d5",comprising of 1 bachelor student,3 MCA students and kid who was at the most 14.

I dont remember much about the match(may be bcoz everything happened in a flash,or may be bcoz my mind doesn't want to brush off the dust) but i think i can pen down the synopsis:
We were slammed 0-9.

The hero of the match turned out to be that at-most-14 gizmo kid(not only did he have very good aim but also seemed to be using some kage-bunshin ;he was everywhere on the map) wid some soaring figures,and me ending appraising him in person.

We were somewhat disappointed ,not bcoz we lost the game(we know we r not "that"good),only bcoz we knew we could have been better than that.

We clicked a few snaps,teased Nirbhay once again with i-eat-you-watch show,and were on the way back...over n out.

a view and an angle-The Kite Runner

2009-09-23T07:50:00.002+05:30

The protagonist,Amir, is a pashtun,a sunni muslim ,born in Kabul,Afghanistan to a rich man.He grew up wid Hasan, a boy his age,son of Ali,a shia muslim,a hazara and servant to Amir’s father.

I wudnt go into the story to spoil off the fiction that, at stages, unfolds tragedically.

"Amir and Hasan.The Sultans of Kabul"

True to the undiscriminating nature of children, this social boundary means little. Amir and Hasan are best friends,until a brutal act of jealousy-induced violence topped off with a just as brutal act of betrayal, changed everything.

Through the relationship between them , Hosseini takes us into the ditches of our heart,and explores the intricacies of human mind and soul...how we continue to see "differences" amongst us ,even though we remain oblivious to them,how the social bulwark between us may prevent us from amassing up the courage to stand for the one we love most,how guilt may suck you down like a voracious worm,even though you try to pole-vault and move on,how the heart always remains pure and seeks redemption for itself.
It also defines the "blood-ties" in a very intimate and poignant way;the dilemma that faces a man torn into two is well penned down.
In the background is the unfortunate de-establishment of monarch in Afghanistan and sequential rule by the roshawis,then the northern alliance and finally by the taliban;and how each rule contributed to turning Kabul(in particular) and Afghanistan(in general) to the hell it had become for its own people.

May be the best fiction I have read. Have’nt seen the movie yet,but has been compelled to do so now.
"Quiet is peace.Tranquility.Quiet is turning down the VOLUME knob on life.Silence is pushing the OFF button,Shutting it down. All of it."

an itinerary of “desperation”

2009-09-22T01:39:00.002+05:30

Since it was not related to academics,all got up early that morning (7:30 to 8 ,unquestionably early 4 a holiday),except for me;i didnt sleep, busy surfing the internet the whole night.
At around 9,we embarked towards our "waterloo"-MACE(Mar Athanasius College on Engg),Kothamangalam.

The weather was somewhat cloudy n cool ,and so the "to" journey was all good in terms of the pleasure we derive from a bike ride(esp. in Kerela,wid all the placid nature around).This said i hav got to mention the the couple of times we got close to some wrecking-action.

Once while overtaking us,Zulu(Awanish) did a "hit n run" on my "driver" Pampam n zoomed ahead.PAMPAM-the impulsive one,speeded up ,caught up wid them n on a whim swung an arm -as he cant resist retaliation in any case(he calls himself "revenger" not 4 nothing).In the process,our bikes almost hit each other .As if to make things all the more interesting,the whole drama repeated itself ,but this time the gap was a whisker .It looked like the team was warming up for some action that was to come .

Though the ride was abt 45-50 kms and the roads good,it took us abt 1.20 hrs to reach.The campus was nice.

We were the first team to enroll ;this "committment" born out of our last tour abt 6 months back to FISAT.When we had reached that college n went to register our team,we rued to hear that registration had to be done online before the day of the event.

After waiting for an hour or so,we were told that our match was scheduled second,only to be postponed to third.”Acid Tin”(best clan of our college),winner for the last two consecutive years had gotten the second match,n as expected it was a child’s play for them.

Then came the moment we have been waiting(the wait got to my nerves a bit)for.
VooDoo vs MACE(the host college).
contd....

what the hell… :x

2009-09-22T00:10:00.002+05:30

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

-Oscar Wilde