My Blog

The Joy of Missing Out

2026-01-01T12:58:00.002+05:30

Meera is 40 years old, working as an IT consultant and a mother of 2. She has a digital profile on practically every social media platform. On a Tuesday afternoon, as she reaches out to her phone after an hour-long meeting, an insta feed tells her that one of her friends celebrated her 40^th birthday at the best restaurant in town. Meera sighs, ‘this afternoon meeting robbed away a sumptuous lunch’. Nevertheless, another notification on Facebook arrives to show her cousin playing in the snow, with beautiful Swiss Alps covering the background. ‘How lucky she is’, thinks Meera as her left thumb continues to scroll. One of her colleagues just completed a PhD, another ex-colleague got promoted, someone else posted a new job announcement- less than 5 minutes of mindless scrolling is enough to make Meera feel inadequate and ashamed of her own self.

What Meera experiences is what most people do, these days. It’s one of the perils of living in a hyper-connected world. Fear of Missing Out, or FOMO as we better know it, is an obsessive, compulsive disorder (OCD) that stems from comparison, guilt and jealousy. While FOMO has been around since ages, possibly since humans started thinking, the term itself is very recent. Social media has democratized the boundary-less virtual world, bestowing unlimited broadcasting rights to anyone with a phone in the hand. Amplifying every achievement, making every experience look superlative and showing it off is enough to promote narcissism in self and FOMO in others. It all ends up in painting the grass greener on the other side, making others’ lives appear much better than ours.

Comparison with others is a primal instinct, conditioned through millions of years of evolution. As in humans, so does in many other living beings, measuring oneself against and rising above others has been an innate need for survival, reproduction and occupying influential place in social hierarchy. Hyper-consumption of digital content has aggravated this further in recent times. Where one’s online worth is evaluated on external validations (likes, shares and followers), portraying the best version of oneself to remain likeable on social media is no less than a survival instinct. Relative positioning matters more than absolute success.

FOMO creates a void, an urge to chase every opportunity to gratify oneself with. This results in mental burnouts, anxiety & insecurity. Narcissism and a hunger for appreciation, even in physical life, is observed to be on the rise. Decisions are impulsive, driven by FOMO than by wisdom, actions are influenced more by show-off than inspiration.

An alternate philosophy is emerging as a response to the growing FOMO. Joy of Missing Out, JOMO as it is called, is the freedom of being in our own skin and expressing ourselves in our own comfortable ways. Those embracing JOMO consciously emancipate from being the puppets of social and self-induced stigma. They set their own dimensions of fulfilment and refrain from measuring their happiness on others’ scale. Allowing themselves to discover and master their own craft at a comfortable pace, they are in no rush to prove their worth to others. They refuse to make choices dictated by peer or social pressures and stop being square pegs in round holes.

While FOMO is more outward and compels on following others, JOMO is about turning inward and following our own instincts. FOMO induces stress, harbours unrealistic expectations from our own selves. JOMO begets peace, offers opportunities to appreciate our natural self. FOMO feeds on external validation, while JOMO breeds self-satisfaction. FOMO is a mindless chase of never-ending materialistic pleasures, while JOMO is mindful pursuit of contentment and spiritual elevation.

In his book named ‘The Psychology of Money’, Morgan Housel explains how natural endowments influence success in particular fields, while advantage in one field might as well be a disadvantage in another. Michael Phelps is blessed with a long torso, short legs, large feet and wide wingspan that makes him a better swimmer. Compare him with Hicham El Guerrouj, a Moroccan middle-distance runner, having legs longer than the torso. If Phelps’ achievements in swimming fuel FOMO in Guerrouj, the latter might only displease himself further by never even nearing Phelps’ achievements with longer legs. Same will hold true for Phelps in running.

Natural limitations can restrict social imitation. Human world offers lot of opportunities to allow multiple talents, arts and preferences to co-exist and flourish simultaneously. It's essential to discover our own, and be loyal to it.

What will stay human in the age of AI

2023-08-21T23:17:00.003+05:30

Last two and a half decades have seen phenomenal development in technology at an unprecedented pace. We can’t imagine a life without internet and phone today. Gen Z and Gen Alpha are amazed on how older generations survived without these.

At start of 21^st century, Google democratized internet and brought all the public knowledge available online, to our disposal. Apple ensured every hand had a phone, thus getting this information at our fingertips, literally. Facebook ushered in new ways of connecting and interacting with people. Social media encouraged everyone to broadcast photos, content and opinions. Digital revolution invaded our lives faster than we could even realize.

These days, AI in general and Chat GPT in particular is busy capturing our mind-space. It’s not just the awe of a superlative technology, but also the fear of losing professional jobs that inspires and worries people at the same time. Will AI cannibalize our jobs? What will we do if machines do everything? Will machines become our new masters? Are the days numbered for human art? Are we missing the bus? Our worries and queries have no end.

To get our answers, it is essential we understand what AI actually is. In simple terms, AI is a collective reference to computing algorithms which learn patterns from historic data, and predict the outcome of a future (unseen) data by matching it to a pattern it has already learnt. GPT-3, which belongs to the “Generative AI” family and powers ChatGPT, is an AI model that is said to be trained on the entire information that was available on internet till June 2021. It is a language model, meaning it is trained on predicting the next word, e.g. for “Twinkle twinkle little “, the next most probable word (out of thousands of other English words) is “star” and that’s what it will predict based on its learning.

The current AI makes machines smart enough to perform mundane, laborious and repetitive jobs, or at least that is what they are being considered for at this moment. Digital vulnerabilities like biased and influenced results, limited abilities to filter out fake content, knowledge limited to training data source, regulatory issues, etc. still keep many away from embracing AI completely.

So, do we really need to worry about AI eating our jobs?

In his book “The Atomic Habits”, James Clear mentions that humans overestimate the situations in near future where chances of occurrence are minimal (like the flight you travel in being highjacked) and underestimate the vulnerabilities that are far ahead in time, but sure to occur (like obesity due to unhealthy lifestyle).

Fear of losing jobs due to AI is like fearing of being hijacked. In the last 300 years, every major revolution has seen such discussions soaring in, machines cutting hands in Industrial Revolution, Computers killing jobs in Digital revolution, etc. There was a hue and cry about Amazon, Walmart and the likes cannibalizing the General Stores we find in every corner of street. However, the fact remains that shops, both online and in brick and mortar, can coexist and flourish together. Invasion of Robotics in manufacturing began 3 decades ago, however there is no record of major job cuts in the sector globally.

With AI, the mundane repetitive jobs are sure to get transferred from humans to machines. At the same time, humungous data generated every second allows opportunities for more data exploration and analysis, thus increasing the breadth of its application, hence more jobs. Thoughtful application of AI will only relieve humans from the monotony of unproductive jobs and allow time to focus on more interesting and productive things.

Computer code generated by “Co-Pilot” (Gen-AI that generates application code) is too generic to fit directly in a heavily customized solution. We will still need software engineers to translate the generic to specific. Again, Gen AI serves as the Co-Pilot (NOT an auto-pilot) to the software developer, thus allowing the latter to focus more on logic than syntax.

AI models use Neural Networks to learn patterns and encode this information in the form of numbers. Capabilities are limited to the corpus that they are trained on, hence anything beyond that is out-of-scope. They have knowledge, but lack wisdom. That said, such models are found to be less effective on scenarios that deal with unknowns.

Consider situations like Covid. Everyone was dealing with “unknown” unknowns. Neither was any data available to train models, nor did the “pattern” match with anything already learnt. Dealing such unknowns requires human judgement developed out of varied experiences, collective knowledge, emotions, empathy, social awareness, study of cultural influences and social behaviour, local laws, hunches and a lot more factors. These may not translate entirely into measurable dimensions that a model can learn from. All such work will always stay human, where AI can be an obedient and efficient assistant.

In near future, machines might automate creation of medical transcripts by capturing details from conversations between a doctor and patient. It might create marketing content with impressive narration and images. It has already started writing articles and creating professional presentations. It has also begun answering customers’ calls, chat messages and playing the translator. It’s driving cars. It suggests machine failures and also fuels our OTT indulgence by suggesting content.

All such jobs are sure to get rid of humans. But ideation, anything that requires empathy (consulting, counselling, therapy), human judgement (disease diagnosis, legal judgements, policy making) will and should always remain human. Emotional quotient is proven to be a major determinant in professional success, which, thankfully hasn’t yet been drummed into the machines. We will need humans to motivate us, not machines.

AI is like electricity; it has potential that can only be harnessed through smart application. Applying AI to where it adds value will also remain a human thing.

I feel certain things should consciously remain human. Art should emerge from human mind. Fun of creation should stay human. We shouldn’t let AI rob from us our choices, ability to think and thrill of discovery.

While embracing AI, we should also be concerned about the latter part explained by James Clear – “Humans underestimate the vulnerabilities that are far ahead in time, but sure to occur”. AI can be a great servant but a terrible master. Controlled and ethical use of AI can make it a great servant, while its overuse may handicap us forever.

With every major revolution emerges an inherent evolution that is relatively slow, silent, but which creates an impact over time. Our conscious choices can steer this evolution towards a better world.

Less is More

2023-05-28T17:18:00.006+05:30

I recently attended a live music show named- The Burmans. Some interesting anecdotes shared by the compere made some enlightening revelations about music creation, especially by yesteryear music directors. Songs back then mostly formed an integral part of the overall storyline. A lot of thought and consideration would go in understanding the situation, the characters and the actors. Songs thus created won't just entertain the audience but would also successfully fulfil the onus of taking the storyline ahead in a melodious way. It was essential for music directors to create music that would let the listener imagine how the song would look on screen. Music would speak for itself, hence the choice of instruments, vocal formats formed an essential part of expression.

Consider the song- "Waqt Ne Kiya kya haseen sitam"- Geeta Dutt's beautiful voice and SD Burman's melodious tune substantiates major portion of this song. SD used minimal instruments to support the song. Minimal, but just the right ones. Anything more would only create noise.

Hrishikesh Mukherjee was an amazing storyteller in the 1970s. Consider the song - "Ab to hai tumse, har khushi apni", composed by SD Burman from the movie named "Abhimaan", directed by Hrishi da. Not just a melodious tune, the lyrics beautifully express Jaya's feelings, while the visuals portray the agony of Amitabh. All but in 3 minutes with minimal settings, the stage is set for the next chapter of the story where Amitabh's jealousy begins to deteriorate his married life.

Such expressions use minimalistic approach in art that advocates stripping unnecessities while focusing on essentials. This approach, dubbed as "Less is More" is effective in every form of expression, be it art, professional presentations, writing or storytelling. By delivering the message in less time, using minimal resources, it leaves the canvas available for more fruitful creation.

It is said that brevity is the soul of wit. So it must be of effective narration as well. I find Ted Talks to be an epitome of how typical presentations must be. Succinct, yet succulent. The more substance one includes in lesser, thoughtfully chosen words, allows more value to be delivered in lesser time, making the expression effective and captivating.

For same reasons, web series these days gather more audience than traditional TV soaps. Apart from the flexibility the former offers to view from anywhere and anytime, the content density over time keeps the audience glued to the devices.

At work, we find a lot of professional PowerPoint presentations that are noisy. Details crammed into a single slide hardly allow the audience to consume what is offered. Same goes with performance dashboards where cluttered graphs and numbers that create more confusion than clarity.

Paintings with the right use of colours in limited proportions appear more beautiful. Homes with subtle interiors that allow more light and space seem to be more soothing and inviting.

Expressing yourself effectively, through minimal and simple words, is an art worth embodying in today's professional world.

Our choices of social health should also be based on a "Less is More" approach. As a generation whose social life primarily dwells on devices, we feed ourselves with more knowledge than what we can digest. Limited but useful knowledge distillates into mindfulness and wisdom. Excess of anything creates chaos and noise. Overuse of social media seeps in the Narcissistic Personality Disorder, urging us to expose more of ourselves to gather our happiness in the form of likes, shares and comments. The dopamine rush thus experienced is equated to that experienced through narcotics addiction. More begets even more leading to suffocation. We gradually forget to make ourselves happy with smaller pleasures and overfill our minds with content, not letting it wander freely to flourish creativity.

No wonder the need for Digital Detoxification is growing fast. Until that becomes a habit, it calls for explicit self-restraint to suppress the urge to show off what you have. It's the brake you apply on your own selves when replying to social media messages and binge watching. Less, should be more.

"Less is More" is an attitude where we naturally gravitate towards what is necessary. It does not mean sacrificing necessities or being too frugal on resources. It rather means using only what is essential to create value and discard the rest. Anything less than what is just enough would make it deficient, while anything more would be excess.

This attitude makes you realize that it's not worth wasting your time and energy (essentially the MOST important resources) on situations where brevity can allow time for other important things that matter. It's time to declutter and shed the excess, and thus realize that less, should actually be more.

Complicated Simplicity

2022-01-14T00:10:00.001+05:30

It’s not simple to be simple. More often than not we observe complex means being employed to address simple issues. Be it solving a problem or explaining a concept, use of complex methods and jargons is preferred where simplicity can work wonders.

Recently I was tasked to help a team who wanted a Machine Learning model to prescribe the optimal liquid flow that fills maximum tankers in minimum time. Upon examining, it wasn’t hard to conclude that a bit of math could give the right figure. “We need some AI in our system to showcase our capabilities on advanced offerings” was the justification. It was like trying to be 80% sure that 2 + 2 equals some value between 3.96 and 4.04, where simple math could provide a 100% definite answer; A clear pursuit of complexities over simplicity.

We Indians too find complex explanations and use of heavy jargons a sine-quo-non to impress others (Sorry, I can’t help being an Indian myself J). This probably stems from the colonial conditioning ingrained in us over ages. Britons prefer passive tones, while Americans don’t. Signboards like “Entry Prohibited” simplify into “Do not Enter” in America. Active voiced Americans prefer a simple direct tone and argue that incorrigible Britons unnecessarily complicate spellings by adding a “u” in words like “color”.

Psychological observations about what makes people take the longer route might point to reasons below.

Urge to stand out sounding smarter:
We admire Shashi Tharoor for his unique choice of words, doesn’t matter if we don’t understand half of those. Be it through his famous speech in London, Ted Talks he has delivered or the interviews he has given, he never missed impressing us with his adorable knowledge and diction. Strong vocabulary up his sleeves to feed his complex speeches, he does stand out smarter among his khadi clad colleagues.

Half knowledge:
It is said that you haven’t understood a thing thoroughly, unless you can explain it in a way a 6 years old could understand. It’s like Amir Khan explaining the meaning of a machine in the movie “3 Idiots”; Use of simple terms that explain the concept thoroughly but fail to impress due to lack of engineering complexity.
At times people tend to lean on complex explanations to cover up their deficiencies about the subject of matter.

If you can’t convince them, better confuse them:
Just as US President Harry Truman quoted this maxim to describe his political opponents’ tactics, at times complex means come handy in intentionally confusing others when convincing is not possible.

Guilt:
We grow up learning that success always follows hard work. We feel success is sweeter when it’s achieved the harder way. Wise men advocate treading the “right” way, rather than the “hard” way. At times the “right” way is actually the simpler, or it may be sheer luck that makes us succeed. But most of the times, success remains unacknowledged unless there is sweat on the brow.

Fear of Missing Out:
FOMO as it is popularly called is a psychological state of mind, aggravated by the overuse of social media. We have let technology invade our lives deeper than expected. Bogged down by the problem of plenty we never settle on the urge to have more. We fail to entertain ourselves with simple means that made us happy just about 15 years ago.

Neuroplasticity:
Humans like challenges. Solving complex puzzles reverses cognitive aging. Over a period, the adrenaline release of getting over complexities causes neuroplasticity to make complex neural mappings. Brain tends to automatically follow the complex path as a response to every problem. Simple way-outs become rare.

We find multiple ways to complicate our lives. We feel like talking, but we hesitate to call. If we need anything, isn’t it easy enough to ask? A plain explanation can settle misunderstandings. When guilt haunts us, we can always apologise. It’s simpler than we think.

Similar ways people tend to over complicate financial investments. Investing need not be that complicated. We witness our previous generation, comfortably retired on simple but disciplined investing over years in limited investment options available in the past. While newer options are necessary to cover the growing cost of living, experts suggest a simple disciplined approach over long term does play out even today. However, our incorrigible self refutes to settle for simplicity.

At office, crisp, distilled explanations in simple terms that the audience understands makes for a good presentation. Jargon filled overcomplicated rhetoric is sure to bore the audience, also make them uncomfortable and hesitant in asking questions.

It’s time we embrace simplicity again. Simplifying complexities and letting simple stay simple never seemed more important. Nothing explains life better than watching a child play on her own, pure emotions derived from simple means.

American researcher Brene Brown once quoted – “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol”. We probably need to infer these golden words in the context of simplicity. All it takes, is to learn to KISS – Keep It Simple, Stupid J.

The Divine Intervention

2021-04-24T15:18:00.000+05:30

It was just past 1 am when my brother received a call. Seemed like just another call what my brother and I had been making and receiving for last 8 hours or so, but this one was different. Mission was to arrange a hospital bed for my mother who was short on breath due to Covid. "Look for an O2 bed" is what our doctor recommended, however a high HRCT score from a fresh CT scan now mandated an ICU with a ventilator.

"We have 1 ventilator bed in an ICU available, but that’s in Wagholi and they won't wait long." said my wife (Anuja) over phone. Anuja and Gauri (my brother's wife) and a bunch of friends were continuously reaching out to every hospital in Pune to find a bed. Finally a friend was able to arrange through some contact.

"Anywhere in Pune, just book it. Pay the advance if required" said my brother. We were at Ruby Hall Clinic where our mother was on Oxygen in the Casualty ward. Just like other hospitals across Pune, Ruby Hall too was overwhelmed with Covid patients with no bed left to be occupied.

Odd hours helped us transfer her quickly. Finally our mother was on ventilator in an ICU at Care Hospital, Wagholi where treatment began around 2 am. She would spend her next 2 weeks here battling Covid, pneumonia, shortness of Oxygen and overcoming physical weakness. What seemed like a viral fever 8 days ago had aggravated into pneumonia within last 4 days.

"Oxygen levels are low and HRCT is high, we will try our best but odds seem against her" said the consulting doctor the next morning. What I would describe my feeling at that moment, wasn't really a shock but a high degree of unsurfaced emotional disturbance and anxiety. My senses were not prepared to react in any way. Never before had I come anywhere close to a situation I was into.

Minal (my brother's elder sister-in-law) called me the following afternoon. Her call was an explicit reminder of things we have read, known and even experienced, but tend to forget at times when we need them the most. Faith, positivity, essentially- The Secret. This was well the beginning of my realization and assurance of a silver lining being there.

That she got an ICU bed with a ventilator in relatively less time, when others were struggling for hours without success, was a good beginning. Wagholi was too far, about 25 kms commute one way. Hospital didn't have a canteen, but thankfully it was located close to my cousin's place. My cousin's wife (Akshada) would whole heartedly take care of my mother's nutrition for next 2 weeks. My brother and I had one less thing to worry about.

Doctor advised to arrange plasma on 3rd day. Given the second (current) wave was quite recent, it was hard to find someone who might have recovered from Covid within 2 months. We got lucky in securing the first dose from a blood bank in Pandharpur that very day.

"Second plasma infusion within next 24 hours will be more beneficial" said the doctor. As serendipity would bless us, we discovered a donor among Minal's colleagues who would fit the setting and we could deliver the second dose within 24 hours.

Meanwhile our mother was in the ICU, though against typical medical and Covid norms, we were allowed in to deliver food, and even feed her. She was blissfully ignorant of the outside and also what was going within her. Her only contact during these 2 weeks would be one of us meeting her 3 times every day. We had been super exposed to Covid environment during these days and had isolated ourselves in my in-laws' residence which otherwise is empty. We couldn't allow ourselves to get contracted in any way. Our utmost care to keep the virus away, also had an invisible support that we realized when we tested negative on RT-PCR during the following week.

The support stayed throughout. Lucky were we again to get a regular supply of Remdisivir (I'm still not sure if I spell and pronounce that correctly :)) from hospital's pharmacy. She was administered her 9th dose of scheduled 10 doses, when the shortage of Remdisivir got omnipresent. The 9 doses had already worked their wonder on her.

So was it with Oxygen; she was already out of oxygen requirement, being monitored on normal breathing by the time the shortage started showing up. Finally after 2 weeks, she was on her way back. She came in on a stretcher and walked out of the hospital herself, without any support.

I recalled the doctor's words on 3rd day- "Anyone with that HRCT score walking out of the hospital on his own, would be a miracle". Miracles do happen, miracle did happen. With deep gratitude we thanked every single person and situation that helped to bring her out of this. So many people were directly and indirectly involved in this, supporting us through their action, well wishes and comforting words.

What simply went right in all this? Maybe the past karma, the best wishes, the faith, the gratitude, positive thinking, blissful ignorance, avoidance of overthinking? All summed up to form a blissful setting that made things happen the right way, at the right time and right place. That definitely was a Divine Intervention.

Sometimes in life we need incidents that reinforce our beliefs in the invisible powers that support us when we need them the most. A regular deposit of gratitude and karma enriching the credit side of life's balance sheet accrues enough balance to withdraw in times of need.

Through this blog, I once again thank each and every person whom I may not have named but whom I deeply revere as a meaningful contribution in my mother's recovery. Thanks!

Lessons to my kid, from my own life experiences

2021-02-27T09:25:00.000+05:30

Success and happiness are very subjective terms. They say academic success doesn’t guarantee professional success, and professional success doesn’t necessarily translate to life success. At times it takes ages to realize this. Quite often we observe that those branded failures in school are running flourishing businesses, and executives whom we admire professionally suffer from failed marriages.

A study shows that students doing good academically can make good employers, while successful businessmen are generally observed to be mediocre in studies. When the studious lot is busy revising lessons, the mediocre breed is implicitly developing social skills through so-called time-wasters. Being out-going and out-spoken is what makes them good businessmen. Image-conscious studios lot generally apprehends putting their hands on risky bets, fearing failure.

The fixed and growth mindset plays a major role here. Studious students in general, if lauded for their inherent intelligence, might get stuck with the fixed mindset. This mindset makes them awry of any actions that might dent their image. They aren’t failure-ready, generally burdened by others’ expectations, are risk-averse and stay esoteric with their social circle & activities. Growth mindset, on the other hand appreciates efforts over ingrained talent. People with growth mindset are generally conditioned to believe that dearth of genetic intelligence can be overcome through conscious efforts. Free from the burden of protecting their image all the time, these people are gregarious, can think out of box or arrange things to get their work done. Being more adventurous, psychological doctrines do not bind them from risking their stakes.

Clearly, most of the factors that ensure success aren’t completely covered through academic textbooks. Not that academics aren’t important, they definitely help develop the core (mostly professional) skills that bring us on a level playing professional field. However, such professional / technical skills might be short lived. In most cases, technological advancements surpass what has been covered in academics, by the time students are employment ready. Millennials, having witnessed wider extremes of life changes in shorter time face this challenge more than their previous generations.

The digital renaissance has let mobiles and computers capture a large part of our lives. The nature of jobs and the way we pay bills has changed, so have the ways we entertain ourselves. The supply surpasses the demand manifold, overwhelming us to consume more than we can digest. The overuse of social media taxes us in ways we hardly even realize. Through various experiments conducted globally, psychologists are using behavioural observations to come up with theories around the effects of over-digitization on human life. Clearly, we weren’t ready to digest so much, so fast.

As wisdom sinks in with graying hair and receding hairline, we tend to realize what matters, and how we could have prepared ourselves better to dive in the unknown. Certain life skills and behavioural traits that have survived the test of time, carry the potential to steer our lives in the right way. These should get ingrained in kids at the right time.

Few things that I realized gradually, which I wish my kid knows sooner:

Express yourself confidently: I feel the most important trait to develop is the ability to express yourself clearly and confidently. Developing a way to deliver the right message to the right audience in the right manner in all forms of communication is sine qua non for success. The way you speak, speaks a lot about you.

You cannot know everything: How much ever you read, research, discuss, there will always be something, even in your own field of expertise that you would never know or you will always fail to understand. I never understood Electronics as I couldn’t “see” the electrons moving. Similar ways I struggled understanding Neural Networks, until I started practicing being content with superficial knowledge that is more than just being good enough at work.

Discover your form of intelligence: Academic progress cards will reflect and glorify very limited forms of intelligence. Discover your niche and grow your intelligence in that through practice.

Be an explorer: Remain curious throughout, go beyond your boundaries to explore the unknown, but do that with an open mind. Prejudice and fear will only limit your exploration.

Practice to see through the other side: Parallel realities do exist, and can flourish in harmony. Do take a stand, but only after understanding the other side. Get calmer and wiser through empathy.

Perfection is the enemy of good: An irony as it may sound, but a sane reality. Don’t push for perfection at the cost of your peace. Some things are great by just being “good enough”. Learn to stop where realized value begins to lower in proportion to invested efforts. Self-improvement is a good trait to grow, but mandating over-perfection could be an obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Learn to dwell with limited knowledge and uncertainty: I’ve personally struggled with this during effort estimations at work. Not everything will follow a mathematical formula or nature’s rule. Learn to get most from the limited knowledge you have, develop logical workarounds, grow your gut feeling from experience and observations, and always support your judgments with valid justifications.

Be vocal of your emotions: It’s good speak out to a confidante, to ask help where required and iron out things in time. Suppressing emotions pushes you deeper in the dungeons of solitude.

Don’t be too harsh on your own self: Cherish your achievements more and pat your own back more often. Enjoy when and where you can, without feeling guilty about wasting time. Don’t miss your train by over-thinking whether you should board. Don’t make yourself sad by trying to make everyone happy. Easier said than done, however gets a tad easier if practiced regularly.

Slow down: We cram our workdays with things to do; we fill our weekends with domestic checklists. We cram our holidays with jam packed itineraries. Our senses are never at rest. Sometimes, all it requires is to do nothing and switch off from life, to sharpen your axe.

Do it now: We are too habituated to snoozing alarms. At times we let our hesitations or pure laziness pile up our tasks. Most of such things are just a phone call or click away. Do it now to relieve your head from the burden of remembering, and ease your mind of apprehension.

Keep absorbing: Tune your senses to catch the right waves around, keep absorbing whatever you should, from your surroundings. Learn not just to gain knowledge but to become wise, and understand that difference sooner.

Be out-going: Research shows that the happiest humans are those which have a healthy social circle. Being gregarious increases your chances of success both in professional and personal life. Do not shy away from connecting with new people and making new friends.

Don’t be overly submissive: Lack of required knowledge and inability to express can lower self confidence causing constant self-deprecation. Overly submissive ones generally get ignored in. Catch the signs early and work on it. Read, learn to express, get the right guidance at the right time and refrain from resigning to things further.

Never compromise on health: Always strive for good health, not just physical, but mental, emotional, financial, social and spiritual health. As the old adage goes, health is wealth.

Develop an art, maintain a hobby and rear a passion: Feeding your soul is as important as feeding your body. Practicing an art satiates the mind more than any materialistic pleasure. When art finds a dedicated mode of expression, it becomes a hobby. Hobbies and passions have the potential to sift you through hard times, calm you down and make you feel good about yourself. Identify your niche, develop it into an art, protect it through a hobby, bind yourself with others that share the passion and let your art find an expression.

Never stop reading: Make books your best friends and never stop reading. Always let the wisdom in the books get the better out of yourself.

These implied lessons from my own life will not completely immunize my kid from challenges posed by life. Different times come with newer challenges. Neither do I wish to deprive him from the pleasure of discovering his ways to defeat tough times. These might act more as guidance for him to uncover his own ways of fighting adversities to grow his endurance, and prepare him to lead a better life.

What makes you lucky?

2020-08-09T01:51:00.002+05:30

Hollywood movie- “The Pursuit of Happyness” portrays the story of Chris Gardner, whose life is an inspiring journey from rags to riches. The movie reiterates the importance of hard work in a person's success. However, the fact remains that not everyone who might have worked as hard as Gardner, succeeded as much. Did luck favour him more? Probably yes, but why?

Dictionary.com defines luck as the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person’s life, as in shaping circumstances, events or opportunities. Astrologers might explain it through celestial combinations and cosmic patterns, believers might reason it with karma, while rationales might justify through statistical probabilities. However, is there a secret potion that supersedes these reasons and makes us lucky?

Researchers studying serendipity actually suggest ways that potentially can tilt the scale of fortune to one’s advantage. Here’s my attempt to relate few of such theories with real life experiences and some incidents from the movie.

Being Extrovert:

In the movie, when Gardner is badly in need of a job, he pretends urgency to get into sharing a cab with Stock Broker Jay Twistle. The next 30 minutes he spends impressing Twistle, includes pouring all his might to successfully solve the Rubik’s cube that’s been challenging Twistle for quite some time. The die is cast. What follows, builds upon the first impression Twistle has gathered of Gardner.

Gardner’s openness to reach out proactively and his attitude to turn life’s unexpected situations into opportunities, made him lucky. Throughout the movie, we get to see lot more traits that feed his fortune, like humbly reaching out to millionaire Walter Ribbon to apologize for a missed appointment; a situation that introduces him to elite contacts, which would later become his clients.

Mathematics explains it through a simple formula.

The more options you try from all possible options, the more is your probability of succeeding.

Openness to opportunities:

Back in July 2004, while returning from my night shift, working at a call centre, my colleague HP mentioned about an interview call he received from Cybage, a well-known Software firm in Pune. Tired of speaking to Americans all night, I was myself keen on any opportunity that would spare me the phone calls.

I joined HP for the interview as an uninvited job seeker. A written exam followed by 2 rounds of interviews landed me the job. My willingness to work in night shift seemed the major reason.

My brief stint with the call centre only provided the required detour to steer my career from a job with a mediocre hardware service provider to a decent software firm. Probably my strong desire to get into the booming software industry along with tapping the door on time, without over thinking where my career was going, made me lucky.

Being flexible:

In 2004, MG graduated in Engineering with flying colours, but struggled getting a job as his college offered no campus placement assistance. After 3 months and multiple rejections, distress started taking over his self confidence.

After some introspection, he decided to put his teaching skills to use while still hunting a job in parallel, and took up a part-time job as a tutor. In few weeks, he saw his calling in a PG Course in Embedded systems offered by CDAC. He pursued the course, topped the class, got placed in Patni and within 6 months, was off to the US on a short term assignment. The perfect team, mentors, client (EMC) and a foreseeable future, MG couldn’t ask for more.

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade out of it” says he. “If one formula doesn’t work, wipe your slate and start framing the new one.”

Plan consciously, but if things don’t work as planned, adapt and change gracefully. Be flexible, get lucky.

Hope & Belief:

DA was excited as she was looking forward to move into a new house soon. Her husband AA and she had finalized the deal for a 1 bedroom flat in their favourite locality. However, just a week before registration, the owner apologetically broke the deal, citing personal reasons.

“We were blank, felt homeless as we had sold the house we were living in, to arrange the down payment. My son’s new school was about to begin in 15 days, and we had nowhere to stay”, she recalls. They arranged for a rented place while rigorously looking for options to buy, keeping hopes alive.

A strong desire, along with a strong belief and patience, finds its way. A couple of months later, they were set in their own new house, a 2 bedroom flat this time, in the same locality and similar price.

“If one door gets closed, knock the next one. Life may open a bigger door for you, and you may just get lucky” says DA.

Broadcast the right waves:

Joanna McEwen says “Every human being is a composite of frequencies. The frequencies vibrate at the cellular level, continue out into space on a vibratory continuum being connected by an energy field, or a matrix of waves.

The energy and vibrations you give out, is reflected back on you. If your internal frequencies are that of anxiety, depression or anger, then life experiences you have, may very well provide you with frequent situations that reflect these back at you.”

She explains this in an interesting video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLSsqCI7NIE

The Secret:

“The Secret” explains how the entire universe is at work to fulfill the deepest desires that you pursue with utmost positivity. A personal experience cemented this belief in me thoroughly.

In mid November 2018, I got released from my work project following a client escalation. I was taken aback with the unexpected situation. I was angry for the allegations made against me, ashamed for the blot on my profile, anxious about what might happen next, but also happy to get out of a directionless project.

An intuition made me reach out to AJ, a contact who could pull me in the Machine Learning (ML) domain. For more than a year, AP, DS and I had been reaching out to contacts in Data Science and Machine Learning within Cognizant, discussing prospects and opportunities for us.

Coincidently, AJ was on a lookout to fill in a position in his team, vacated recently by a resignation. We spoke, and things worked out. The Business Consulting group I belonged to had no problem releasing me to join the Machine Learning group, thanks to their lack of projects and client escalation that worked against (well actually, for) me.

I was finally in the right place, working on things I had deeply desired for more than a year. It was as if all pieces had fallen in place, the stage was set for me to play a bigger role, but that needed an immediate exit from the previous setup. That explained “the Secret”, and I got lucky.

Through numerous experiments conducted around the world, it is observed that lucky people are more apt to do things to tune in to their inner minds, like meditating and taking walks. Breaking the monotony and embracing life’s quirky offerings without over thinking expose people to more opportunities, hence making them lucky. Are you not trying to be one?

The Best Advice ever received

2020-05-21T23:24:00.001+05:30

We as human beings encounter advice quite frequently throughout our lives. The dearth of it might deprive someone from life changing opportunities, while its overload challenges others to sift the valuable from the worthless. Fortune smiles on those who get the right advice at the right time, and have the right wisdom to consume and adopt it.

A recent article in Readers Digest inspired me to gather few advices my friends and I have received that, if probably not life-changing per se, have positively impacted one or more aspects of our lives. Apart from personal advices, this also includes implicit ones received from books, life experiences, movies, etc. Herewith I present few of them, along with the difference they have brought in.

Learn to let go

Like many students, VM struggled through his first year of Engineering. English made it difficult for him to visualize the abstract concepts of Computer Science. His natural urge to understand things to the bone made him anxious. He wouldn’t settle until he understood things thoroughly from his seniors and in the language he was comfortable in- Hindi.

One day, even after loads of explanation, the incorrigible VM was miles away from understanding a concept his way. Before resigning to the situation, his senior said- “Jo baat Hindi main bhi samajh na aye, use English main hi samajh liya karo” (What you can’t follow even in Hindi, try to understand in English itself). The message was clear- Don’t burden yourself in attempting to understand everything so deeply.

Now successfully employed as Lead Software Developer with a well known firm, VM says- “The advice really changed my view at looking things and situations in life. Every time I tend to over-think unnecessarily, I ask myself if it really matters to be worth the burden, or should I simple let it go? The advice makes my choice easier.”

Be compassionate on your own self

Few years back, I was upset over missing an overdue promotion, second year in a row. Speaking with a friend (whom I also consider a mentor) about it, I complained about how ashamed I felt about myself and how my job made me feel worthless. He advised- “Stop being too judgmental, be less harsh and more compassionate on your own self.”

A simple tenet that doesn’t mean one gets complacent. Self-demeaning nature could be detrimental, it’s better to stick to a growth mindset that prospers by comparing yourself to your own yester-self, than with others.

Do consider where you started, while measuring where you currently are

MP and her husband, SN, were staying in a rented apartment in Redmond, US. SN had meager beginnings and relatively disturbed childhood, but had worked his way to Microsoft in US, while MP handled accounts in a local firm.

“6 years and we’re still struggling, while all our friends have Green cards and own homes. My husband is lagging by miles” whined MP as she spoke to her father. The man in his 60s, in his all composed voice, said “Don’t measure him on where he is now; do remember where he began. Your husband has already come a long way from where he started.”

Father’s advice sank in as a major realization for MP, who continues to practice what she learnt that evening.

Never give up on your teammates

When MC entered the new role of Team Manager, he struggled with the new responsibilities that included people management. The Techie in him conflicted with his “People Manager” self, and soon that turned into frustration. Irritation over his team was at peak when his immediate supervisor advised, “Never ever give up on your team mates. They are your biggest asset”.

Handling teams is inevitable in the industry he is. This advice has only encouraged him to discover better ways to motivate his team, while also teaching few lessons in nurturing personal relationships.

Surround yourself with people you can look up to

After struggling for few years, when his hard work didn’t translate into proportionate income, SA was gradually getting complacent with his career. When comfort zone got more comfortable, his wife took on to get him out of it.

Says he, “Out of all that she would say to motivate me, one advice struck me the most. She said- ‘Spend more time with people who are more successful than you are, and can inspire you.’ Since then I’ve tried to practice it each day and have benefited from it a lot.”

Save the earth for your kids

Back in 1996 when MG was just 13, he got inspired from an American proverb he read in Readers’ Digest- “We don’t inherit earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” The revelation that struck him at an early age found an expression throughout his actions in later years.

“I’ve tried to live an eco-friendly life since then. I drive a CNG car, use solar water heater and non-electric water purifier, use natural cooling methods at home instead of AC, was the first to adopt LED among people I know and have been active in tree plantations and educating younger generation about global warming.”, he says.

By reducing our carbon footprint today, we will ensure cleaner air for our kids tomorrow, an advice from MG that’s worth embracing.

“Being” before “Doing”

DN considers himself fortunate to have attended “Spirituality in IT” retreats arranged by the IT wing of Brahma Kumaris. The wisdom that resonates through all sessions stresses on improvising our “Being” before our “Doing”. He describes “Being” as what others may call “Self”, “Core”, “Soul”, “Spirit”, etc., while “Doing” is the actions.

“We inherently judge others, especially our team mates, on their actions, without peeping deeper into their beings that may have caused the actions. It’s about being more empathetic. And this begins with spiritual efforts towards improving your own ‘Being’ which automatically translates into better ‘Doing’.”

Definitely a lifelong exercise to follow, but DN has so far seen remarkable results employing this when dealing with his team mates and people around him.

Few more advices or statements that I’ve read or heard and have influenced me to an extent that I try to practice:

“Who cares? All I know is, my investments earned enough for me to end up in Boca.” - The Intelligent Investor

When Benjamin Graham (whom Warren Buffet considers his mentor) interviewed billionaires residing at Boca Raton, one of Florida’s wealthiest retirement communities, and asked them whether their investments could beat the markets, one gentleman gave the above reply. It’s not about you beating others in a race, it’s about you crossing the line in time.

“The distance between Evil and Good is a vast expanse in which many can exist without being either.” -Secret of the Nagas (Shiva Triology)

Don’t be too judgmental and quick to brand anyone good or bad. Accept and appreciate the shades of gray.

“When you are looking for diamonds, learn to ignore the coal that surrounds it.” – read this in some self help book, maybe “Power of your subconscious mind”

“People who deliver the best results do so when they mindfully pursue that one activity during that time”– A friend VY shared his view when discussing about the versatility of businesses Elon Musk has started.

“You should never let an outsider know there is difference of opinion within family.” - Veto Corleone in The Godfather

“You cannot exist as an ice cube in boiling water.”

Read this in an article about famous surgeons in Pune who pursue their hobbies with equal passion. One of them quoted the above, stressing the importance of breeding hobby, or any form of art, as a culture within family.

“Never ever let anyone tell you, you cannot do something, not even me. If you got a dream, you got to protect it.”– Pursuit of Happiness

“Success ke peechhe nahi, excellence ke peechhe bhaago, success jhak marke peechhe ayega (Don’t chase success, pursue excellence, success will follow automatically.)” – 3 Idiots

“Academic success may not relate to professional success, and professional success may not relate to life success.”– Can’t remember where I read this, but quite practical.

“Nowadays we think more and feel less.”– Charlie Chaplin (read this in Readers’Digest)

“Do not let the spark die; Don't take life too seriously, take it sincerely.”– Chetan Bhagat in his speech at IIM Ahmedabad.

Good advices can transform lives, those may be scarce if pursued explicitly, but abundant if absorbed mindfully.

The lock down- what’s in it for us?

2020-03-29T10:40:00.002+05:30

It is the 5^th day of the pan-India lock down. Entire nation is fighting COVID-19 by staying at home. Never has our, and probably even our previous generation witnessed a situation of such magnitude.

Immunization against this virus mandates social distancing. We are locked in our homes, forcefully, as voluntary participation will not serve the bigger good here. What this means for most of us, is much beyond just the flexibility to work from and at home. Few things I realized during this time:

World doesn’t cease to exist

Yuval Noah Harrari explains in his book “Sapiens” how we humans (Homo sapiens) have built imaginary systems and adapted to imaginary practices that aren’t ingrained in our natural DNA. Fallacies that make us sprint through our lives each day do not allow us to slow down, lest the world around us would stop functioning.

The last 2 weeks (of lock down in Maharashtra) have shown that neither the world, nor we, stop functioning. We still survive, have access to nutrition, entertainment, we still can eat, sleep and make merry. Systems, government and households are still functioning, albeit with a lower staff and slower pace, but that hasn’t been catastrophic so far.

In fact, the air we breathe is cleaner than before, we save fuel by not driving to offices and chirping of birds has replaced the traffic noise. The over dependence on domestic and external help do not enslave us or control our routine anymore; rather we have imbibed few traits of self-dependence. This lock down will certainly re-draw the limits we have been encircling ourselves with.

There are Opportunities in Adversities

President John F Kennedy famously reinterpreted the dual characters that form the Chinese word for “Crisis”; One, he mentioned referred to danger, while other represented opportunity.

The facilities and work options extended these days by corporate establishments are certainly, what any salaried employee would often wish for, but rarely get in his / her working life. The futile travel time, otherwise spent braving heavy traffic, is now at our disposal. Snooze the alarm for some extra sleep at dawn, or speak your heart out with your loved one over a coffee at dusk; play at length with your kid, or watch your favourite movie, just find a fruitful way to spend this extra time.

On the financial side, the Indian stock markets gripped by fear have experienced a fall of about 35% in last 3 months. Experts claim this to be one of such “once in a decade” opportunities when good stocks for long-term investments are on a bonanza sale. “Be greedy when others are fearful” is what Warren Buffet advocates. Fortune smiles on the opportunists, are you not being one?

The need to slow down

Almost every one of us has helplessly let professional priorities take over personal commitments throughout our working lives. Attempts to manage too many things simultaneously (term sugar-coated as “multi-tasking”) has been tiring. Chasing professional deadlines have taken most of us away from life enhancing experiences. Slowing down never seemed more essential.

The noise that surrounds us and clogs our mind may take multiple forms. From the bike honking on a busy road, the viral messages on social media, resulting negative emotions, toxic news on television and malicious plots in daily soaps, our mind is unconsciously busy absorbing lot of noise throughout the day.

We need to plug the leaks that drain our energy and connect back to life. Human body can repair itself when offered the required rest. A decluttered mind engaged in an art can do what exercise does to body. Be it painting, music, writing or cooking, practicing art mindfully in any form releases the hormones that make us happy. Try it, now that you have the time.

Being mindful is essential

There is no such thing as “multi-tasking”. Human mind performs just one task at a time. What we call “multi-tasking” is simply an act of switching between multiple tasks too frequently. This leads to a mindless race towards completion of tasks. None of the tasks receives the desired attention, while all this taxes our mind beyond limits.

Mindfulness is the complete, undivided, whole-hearted and non-judgmental attention that we give towards a person or activity. It is how actively you listen to your spouse, without looking at your mobile, or how you play with your kid without any screen disturbance. It could also mean allowing yourself the time and patience to complete reading a book or a painting without letting any other thoughts come into your mind.

Mindfulness, when practiced in art and in relationships, carries the potential to transform lives for good. Worth paying attention to and getting habitual to it, during this lock down.

Gadget distancing is necessary too

We are in an information age. We have easy access to infinite information; however, sadly this information only fills the mind and seldom gets distilled into useful wisdom.

Over indulgence in social media has made us overly dependent on external sources for happiness. We are constantly in search of entertainment, which urges us to spend more time on it. We are slipping away from more durable sources of relatively permanent states of happiness by falling prey to temporary joys. This only stresses us out, denting our health and relationships too in extreme cases.

By constantly filling our mind with unnecessary information (e.g. statistics on COVID-19), we refrain it from wandering freely. A wandering mind, may not necessarily be idle, rather it may prove to be a wellspring of ideas. Most inventors and artists have been dreamers who would never ring-fence their imagination within curtailed limits.

Research too shows that happiness measures in inverse proportion to screen time. I agree from my own experience, do you?

Let this lock down allow you more “Me” and “We” time, than screen time. 21 days of practice can make it a habit, do try it.

The COVID-19 crisis has surfaced the uncertainties in life, yet again. Man proposes, God disposes. A way to fight such uncertainties is to lower expectations and increase flexibility. It is also essential to keep looking for silver lining that, at times lies hidden, in every dark cloud.

25 years down the line we will excitedly describe this time to our coming generations (just like our parents and grandparents describe the times of wars and emergency), so cherish these moments completely. Good luck!

What went right- tacit lessons from Chandrayaan 2

2019-09-09T23:38:00.000+05:30

The night of 6^th September was one to remember. Millions of eyes glued to the television post midnight to witness history. All went well until a communication loss with the moon-lander Vikram doomed a deep silence of uncertainty that literally snatched the “hurray” from everyone’s mouth.

Anxieties soared as speculations started filling the minds, did ISRO miss it? Did WE miss it? Well, everything went pretty well as planned, but not everything ended as planned.

What happened next is all that we know. But what most of us might already know and what each of us must know is how ISRO came to be what it is today.

With humble beginnings in a newly independent nation, where economic challenges were too intense even to provide for social commitments, lest funding a space agency, ISRO has come a long way achieving milestones that were never thought of. Through PSLV, GSLV and launching numerous satellites, ISRO kept scaling new heights before finally reserving its seat in the elite club of Mars explorers, hitherto claimed only by the developed nations. Being the fourth nation to reach Mars, first one in Asia and also the first to taste success in maiden attempt was a giant leap for ISRO. What could galvanize it more than the record launch of 104 satellites in a single rocket, making it the most cost efficient exercise that the whole world witnessed and admired?

The vision of the likes of Vikram Sarabhai, and the leadership of the likes of APJ, has scaled an organization to the levels ISRO stands now, nurturing some of the finest brains on earth that work relentlessly to create wonders.

What ISRO missed this time, is minuscule to what it achieved. Their success is not limited to just successfully placing Chandrayaan 2 in the moon’s orbit, but goes beyond what they might have planned. ISRO made the entire nation stand tall and stay awake late that night, purely in solidarity to the cause that matters the most to the nation at this time. Heightened expectations can, at times become a burden, not for the weak ones to carry through. ISRO taught us the way, the calm faces and composed expressions of the mission team evidently boasted of their tenacity.

The entire episode further unveiled a series of tacit lessons in corporate management and ideal parenting. Like a catalyst, that itself doesn’t undergo a change but accelerates a chemical reaction, it was PM Modi playing the right man, at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.

Modi’s speech personified an ideal parent who would even notice and appreciate her kids’ efforts, rather than reward the results alone. Modi went ahead in expressing his confidence in ISRO’s potential, when he mentioned having come to them to draw inspiration rather than to console them. An explicit expression of confidence is necessary to build a strong support system when your team / kid needs it the most.

Understanding and empathizing the team in a non-judgmental manner was another tenet that surfaced through his speech. Modi stood tall by his team, like an ideal leader and parent should, to motivate them for a larger leap. And finally the pat on the back and the consoling arms around ISRO chief, non-verbal expressions that spoke louder than everything else.

Even the finest brains of the world can fail, only to unlearn and relearn to emerge wiser than before, why on earth do we refrain our kids from trying and failing? This probably is the biggest take-away from the recent ISRO episode.

The multi faced Indian

2018-08-10T21:56:00.001+05:30

He is around 30, hails from a city in western Maharashtra. He carries multiple identities, puts on a different face for different situations. His identities are vulnerable, each identity exposes a different facet that is easy to inflate, ignite and exploit.

His identities are very elastic, they can be easily broken, swollen or contracted at different times, different situations and influenced easily by different people.

The martyrdom of our brave soldiers had recently made him an ‘’Indian’’. He joined the march with a candle in a hand, and tricolour in another, his “Indian” identity was stronger than others at that moment.

Rewind few months, and he was seen on roads with a flag and light. It wasn’t a tricolor, but a saffron flag in one hand; and, not a candle, but a flambeau in another. His “Hindu” identity had eclipsed all others and called for his divine duty of protecting his religion.

Step back few more months, he joined his fellow identities in thrashing non-Maharashtrians out of the state. Left hand held a party flag, while right hand swung a stick (lathi). He was all but following his duty towards defending his third identity- that of being a “Marathi” this time.

A day further back in time, he was seen arguing on a public forum, openly voicing the injustice on his side of Maharashtra. His identity of belonging to the relatively upscale “Western Maharashtra” demanded a voracious outcry.

Today he has joined another rally, he again holds a saffron flag in a hand, but this time he is not just a Hindu, but is wearing a more galvanized identity of a “Maratha”, and demanding justice from the present government led by a non-Maratha.

It was just yesterday that members of his family rejected a marriage proposal from a girl belonging to Maratha community. His identity of belonging the elite “96 Kuli” Maratha didn’t allow a relation with a lower rank “Kunbi” Maratha.

Well, his time to become an “Indian” is not far, its 15^th August next week.

So, who is he? A person with fragile identities? A confused mortal blindly responding to every spark on main stream and social media? A capricious soul instigated by every social outcry? A permanent victim of social oppressions? A rebel by character and vigilante by action? A savior of every cause that upholds the doctrine he subscribes to? Or a prisoner of self-induced indecisiveness?

Well, very succinctly (and sadly), he is just an average Indian of today.

Disclaimer: Context is made generic to include traits observed from real incidents recorded from main stream and print media. Exceptions are present in varying forms and magnitudes; Objective here is not to demean the identity of “average” Indians, nor is it to demean any community in particular. This is just an attempt to surface our frailty in protecting our rationales against the clearly divisive political sabotage.

Excellence in education

2018-03-11T12:23:00.000+05:30

The Principal of the pre-primary school my 4 year old kid studies in, recently requested us, as parents, to share our thoughts around what we feel is / could be “excellence in education”. The management, in its own words, rightly counts us as equal stakeholders and hence values our opinions.

Most of the schools, especially in urban areas, have realized the need to consider scholastic education as an overall development programme for children, rather than just being a wrapper around bookish academics. Quite evidently, kids, especially in primary schools are in the best age to absorb everything around, and schools are tapping this opportunity quite well. Conscious thoughts are being put in designing curriculum, reserving ample space for art, craft, music, recreation, outdoor activities, language and vocal abilities, building and enhancing fine motor skills, apart from regular studies.

The education system has certainly scaled miles in improving the ways education was hitherto imparted. Rewinding to the yesteryears, particularly for my generation who grew up in the 80s and 90s (and generations before), education would only mean academics- good grades that would guarantee (?) a good job which would further translate into good money. Personal success was measured only on professional and monetary scale. Rote learning, rather than clear understanding became the mantra for “success”. In generic situations, a good memory could level, at times beat intellect, while wisdom stayed well beyond reach. As Amir Khan explains quite succinctly in 3 Idiots, generations were all well trained, rather than well educated.

Although the system today has changed the methods and processes of imparting education, the underlying motive has not changed much. It still strives to “train” students to become successful (professionally), while educating them to become good, civilized and happy human beings is beyond the purview. That part, quite explicitly is left for the parents and society to teach. Insulating growing kids from all they see in the society and media becomes next to impossible for parents. The degrading social fabric plagued by the bankruptcy of morals and civic sense has all stemmed from the lack of quality education over generations.

So why things look different on the other side of globe? What makes the Europeans and Americans more civilized and developed? Quite evidently, their standard of education plays a major role. Most European kids do not start formal education before the age of 6. They carry no shame in not knowing English (or local language) alphabets or numbers till they turn 6; this heavily contradicts our ways where it is no less than a social taboo if our kids don’t start counting 10 by the time they turn 3. European kids rather learn basic life skills- cleanliness, good eating habits, self discipline and social manners. A 3 year old would clear his / her own dish after eating, wash his / her own hands and tie / untie his / her own shoe lace- self dependence is imbibed quite early in them. They do play, socialize, develop their fine motor skills but don’t start counting till 6. Not being biased, we too have schools which follow these activities, however more differences surface as the kids grow.

Empathy is percolated quite early in European kids, something which our kids lag in. Empathy proves one of the most valuable human traits in maintaining a morally healthy society. Ways to weave empathy in curriculum and / or school activities using inputs from scholars in human psychology remains an unexplored avenue.

History too might contribute here. Although widely disliked for being too taxing on the memory, it carries immense potential to inspire masses and shape an entire generation’s way of thinking. If handled properly in our education system, it could surface lot of different perspectives and parallel realities. Understanding, discussing and debating on various historic movements, decisions taken under prevailing circumstances, considering different perspectives, concerning differing masses could well alter the way we think. Rather than memorizing who did what, making to concentrate on the “why” part of history could broaden our minds and implicitly contribute towards a more stable, tolerant, accepting and a judicious society. It also makes us more reasonable towards responding to real-life situations and making levelheaded decisions, and possibly avoids blatantly painting historic figures in absolute black or white.

Lee Kuan Yew, who is rightly attributed as the founding father of modern Singapore, has steered the transformation of his society from rags to riches in less than 4 decades. One of his earliest reforms was in the education system where gratitude, politeness and good language and soft skills were emphasized a lot. Consciously drumming these values in kids for couple of generations have well transformed into habits and possibly a genetic virtue in generations that follow. Almost every global business entity has a shop in Singapore today and experts attribute a lot of this to the social manners found in locals. Aren’t we listening?

Readers Digest offers a lot of valuable insights in human psychology and one of the recently read articles emphasized on being vocally clear and carrying a good diction as sine qua non for building confidence which apparently attracts success. Sadly, languages – as curriculum subjects, are seldom emphasized as important as Mathematics or Science in our education.

Hobbies and creativity cry a similar apathy as languages in our country. Being too focused on the “(professional) success recipe” deprives the kids of sparing time for their hobbies. Hobbies form an important ingredient in personal happiness. Imbibing this importance and allowing hobbies to flourish could also contribute in excelling the standards of education. Again, making the kids realize the happiness derived from “non-materialistic success” should also be a focus area of our education system.

I personally feel money management should be a part of curriculum during the later school years. It is one of the most neglected, however the most important lesson that any student might learn. We generally tread the path our parents followed in money management and feel safe, as we hardly know of alternate avenues to save, invest, maintain and grow our wealth. Even if we hear – “Mutual fund sahi hai”, half knowledge plays the spoiler. Our education system should also consider relieving the future generations of the financial stress induced by monetary mismanagement.

“Leadership skills” is another area where the right education might fill in. The land of Chanakya should not remain deprived of his great teachings. Distilled knowledge from Kautilya’s books, along with books like APJ’s “Ignited Minds” should find a place on every desk in higher secondary school. The articles in Readers Digest too could contribute a lot in teaching leadership and life lessons, along with enhancing language skills.

Lastly, I feel importance of physical and mental fitness should be imbibed early and should be percolated deep. Embracing “Yoga” through formal education might benefit coming generations of the land that introduced it to the world. Dedicated hours to enjoy clean humour, as mandatory part of educational curriculum could also aid in de-stressing. After all, an active mind and a healthy body only nourish the human urge in achieving all forms of successes.

“Excellence in education” should ultimately target on making the human roots strong. Just like strong roots that run deep and absorb nutrients from surroundings to maintain a healthy tree, right education feeds into a happy and successful human life.

Are you being overly-perfect?

2017-09-27T15:53:00.001+05:30

One of the adages that get drummed quite early in almost all young minds is that - “Practice makes man perfect”. What is the perfect state of “being perfect” though? Is it not really hard, rather impossible to define perfection in tangible terms?

I recently came across a soft paradox – “Perfect is the enemy of good”. This Wikipedia page explains what it means.

Perfectionism is an abstract term that is subjective with differing situations, actions, solutions, decisions or cultures and communities. It is a perceived “state of being” having elastic boundaries. Everyone extends it to his individual measures. Some choose to dwell within practical limits, while others (let’s call them the overly perfectionist souls, or OPs for simplicity) tend to chase implausible limits. These OPs are observed to be constantly on the run, almost always. Ever seen a person cribbing over the slightest dust that remains after cleaning, or someone playing tantrums over slightest disturbance to his setup? Chances are, they belong to the breed of OPs.

Over perfectionism robs the fun, it makes the person too focused (at times towards trivialities) to lose the surrounding charm. It mandates attention to details which conversely taxes the senses and exhausts the brain. An over occupied mind finds it really hard to reserve space for creativity and allow hobbies to flourish.

OPs are generally observed to be hardliners- branding situations in absolute black or white, not weighing them in any shades of grey. Over perfectionism makes them judgmental. These souls become prisoners of their own boundaries which only harden with time. Self induced social pressures to uphold the standards make them fragile and intolerant towards failures. This is when even jealousy creeps in adding to their frustration. The growing feeling of being left out, not belonging to the imperfect masses adds to social reclusion. Cynicism grows, at times makes fanatics out of the OPs.

OPs are observed to fantasize a perfect world, binding their happiness to certain state of situations that never happen. They miss out living the moment and enjoying the small pleasures that life offers (remember Hrithik Roshan in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara?). They can’t tolerate imperfections, can’t shrug things off easily and can’t relax with uncluttered minds.

The progression for anything being acceptable, good, ideal to it being perfect starts as a creative and enjoyable journey but gets tiring as it progresses towards (over) perfection. It’s rather important to weigh the trade-offs of what we might lose in trying to achieve something which may not add significant value above what is already achieved. It’s the phase where your excitement in the process begins to decelerate, energy levels start draining and efforts get tiring, that you should ask yourself- “Am I over-doing things just for the sake of perfection?”

I feel perfectionism is a good trait, as long as it’s practiced within practical boundaries. It is ok to settle for the “ideal” state most of the times, and let trivialities in life be “good” or “acceptable”, as you need to reserve your energies to more important things that make you happy..

Be decently organized, have things in place so you find them in time. Practice cleanliness and hygeine for self and surrounding, but learn to ignore that occasional thin layer of dust on the window pane. It’s ok to wear a semi-wrinkled shirt at times- no cares anyway, except for the OP mind.

Learn to reduce clamour without inducing commotion in return. It’s better to make and appreciate a fair decision, than over analyzing things to end up being too clever by half.

To all those OPs around, please strive to attract more love than appreciation, more affection than respect, and at the least, be more happy than being overly perfect.

P.S: In case this blog reminds you of an OP, it’s worth sharing the experiences without naming :-)

Azaan..or Anjaan?

2017-04-20T01:31:00.002+05:30

Sonu Nigam is the latest celebrity to be caught in the eye of the storm. Voicing out his irritation over early morning azaan (which causes many to lose their sleep) has not percolated well with the religious extremists and their ever loyal (pseudo) rationalist supporters. Quite predictably, the entire twitterati and glitterati were quick to take their positions in this online tug of war, and main stream media pounced on their share of cake.

Intolerance rises in ever form, from verbal abuses and burning effigies to religious fatwas. Liberals get to what they do best, play the secular card and hype religious sentiments to garner attention and support. Garbage in and garbage out- all over.

Noise, means NOISE, and in every form it is polluting, irrespective of what generates it, isn’t it that simple? Be it the early morning azaan or late night loud music during Hindu festivals, the pompous marriage processions or loud birthday celebrations of regional / national figures, what entertains few and troubles most is noise. Shouldn’t the big picture of cutting pollution matter more than drumming personal or religious sentiments?

The freedom of expression probably immunizes all of them- free citizens of a free nation. We are free to take others for granted, free to pollute and litter under the cover of religious sentiments, free to dig holes on roads to install pandals for Ganpati without carefully repairing them later. We are also free to let the traffic suffer because we are getting married.

Well, being insensitive towards the rights, comforts and facilities of others has been in our DNA since ages, irrespective of our religion, caste, creed or social status. Also, this has only aggravated in recent years after all forms of political and communal immunity and irresponsible media hype has empowered us to be a vigilante in our own measures. Anything, however logical and rational gets opposed fiercely if it challenges the doctrine we subscribe to- stopping triple talaq or azaan, or firing crackers in Diwali. We are turning into an extreme society where parallel realities cease to exist, against progressive societies where different perceptions and rationalism is allowed to prosper.

Quite evidently, a lot of time, efforts and money is wasted over these futile discussions and playing the victim. Nothing productive or even remotely positive ever emerges out of it, except for the inflated TRPs for the News channels.

Measuring religious / communal extremism, secularism and for that matter, even nationalism on an individual scale is doing more harm than good. People listen only to reply, not to understand. Let’s hope wisdom emerges and prevails in coming time, just a hope though.

Disclaimer: Recent events have influenced me to pen this where I might sound switching loyalties between opposing ideologies at different instances. I've only tried to let rationalism prevail throughout this article.

A child is the teacher of man

2016-10-07T20:49:00.002+05:30

People management lessons derived from parenting experiences, and vice versa

Parenting is an amazing experience, challenging in many terms, yet exciting. The emotional connect that a parent shares with his kid is more intense than the biological one, and carries an immense potential to transform the parent positively.

“Raising a child offers us an enormous opportunity to shed our old skin, let go of stale patterns, engage new ways of being, and evolve into a more conscious parent, and apparently a better human being”, says Dr. Shefali Tsabary in her book titled “The Conscious Parent”. In this book, Dr. Shefali advocates the necessity for parents to treat parenting as a process to consciously evolve themselves as better human beings, while nurturing their kids to be so.

Lessons learnt through conscious parenting carry the potential to make a person a better people manager at work. Through this blog, I have only tried to relate my personal experiences in parenting with few people management traits.

Well begun is half done

The message is polymorphous and applies universally. As in plants, so in kids and so in team bonding; efforts spent at initial stages in nurturing and building a bond (or professional rapport) go a long way in solidifying the relationship. This relationship fosters an environment where things get done easily.

A rolling stone gathers no moss

It’s pretty easy to allow a kid to settle into a comfort zone by making him a couch potato, it’s just a “tab” away. It takes conscious efforts to alleviate the noise and bring in value to the existence and routine of your little one. Electronic addiction only decelerates the mental and creative development in a kid, making him dull, shy and stagnant.

This effort towards “adding value” by engaging the kid in mindful activities helps to handle similar professional dogmas. Periodically switching tasks for a team member (learnt from switching plays for a kid) helps the team being agile and motivated and shrugg off the comfort zone.

Learning is a great motivation

One day after returning from outdoor, my about-to-be-three-year-old son was super elated to learn that he could untie his shoelace and remove his shoes, all by himself. Learning what is no less than a skill to his age, motivated him further to remove his socks and place the shoes on the rack.

I learnt a lesson here, that “learning” indeed is an inherent motivator for all humans, irrespective of age. A parent (or team manager) only has to cultivate a learning environment within his team.

Situational leadership

“Situational leadership” (responding different situations with a different leadership style) is advocated universally and works in most cases. Situational (leadership) parenting style, leaning more towards participative leadership has hitherto worked best for me (given that my son is yet to be 3).

Being “only” an authoritarian might distance me from my son, while being always participative might reduce his abilities to do things independently. It is about finding the thin line where participation could cross over into spoon-feeding.

My parenting experience tells me that kids learn more from observing behaviours, than following instructions, and so do our subordinates at work. Children at different ages react differently to our parenting styles, so do subordinates of varying experience levels; an agile and conscious approach can fit all moulds.

Communication

Communication builds trust. Communication resolves conflicts. Healthy communication is the foundation of a well-knit family. Those belonging to “couch-potato” families with limited communication are likely to be dull, shy and low on confidence.

Communication has the potential to reduce anxieties in stressful situations; be it in office or at home, it only strengthens the bond that infuses a collective confidence. Listening with patience, too, is an integral part of effective communication, which permeates quite well through parenting.

My lovely team at work and my lovely experiences with my son have cemented this theory more than ever.

Appreciation

Human beings possibly carry an insatiable hunger for appreciation. However, what is worth observing when appreciating a child is the surge in energy that he puts in things that potentially can earn him more appreciation. Misery in appreciation might well nip a spirit in its bud.

Appreciation, not just for the results, but also for the sincere efforts put in an act (which may not have succeeded as intended) can go a long way in healthy people management.

Gratitude and anti-gossip

We are presently in Norway, where, just like other European and American nations, pedestrians have preference and vehicles stop to allow us to cross the road. My kid, while being in my arms while crossing streets, smilingly joins me in expressing his gratitude towards the driver by waving his hand and saying “Thank you” with his delicate voice.

Observation can sow seeds of gratitude and other positive traits, but coherently, it can also induce vulnerability towards catching the wrong wave.

Conscious parenting refrains use of inappropriate language and unethical behaviours before kids; so do management lessons, which refrain a good manager from petty gossips that are vulnerable to be amplified into grudging office politics.

Developing a “culture”

My son follows a pattern each day- he brings a couple of storybooks and asks me read them aloud for him, while I feed him dinner. Books have changed but the “culture” has stayed since many months. It may have become a monotonous activity for us, but it has only ensured that my kid finishes his meals without any complaint.

This monotony for half an hour is a small price to pay, against the lack of nutrition that his (or kids of his age) reluctance to healthy food might bring in. Also, my wife and I are happy that we have brought him closer to books, than electronic devices.

A team culture plays a vital role in bringing the team together and committing to the common objective. Be it Friday evening snacks, or Friday night beer, anything that peppers the monotony and willingly binds people in a “culture”, goes miles in preserving the team bonding.

Time Management

A person probably never values time as much, as he does after fathering a kid. To get more in less time and to keep discovering easier ways, all of this just to live your life in stolen moments seems to be the de-facto mantra. Moreover, this trait sinks in quite well to derive benefits universally, workplace in particular.

Empathy

Well I cannot put my legs in my son’s shoes, literally, but can carefully fix it where it might pinch. Intrinsic insights drawn from the natural care and affection towards the kid compels us to be empathetic with his needs. Empathy grows naturally, but needs to be identified and brought to work, consciously.

Empathy is one of the most vital traits that benefit when dealing with people, be it subordinates, seniors or clients. Empathy is visibly inherent in highly successful professionals; letting this empathy sink into our traits consciously, is what parenting might teach us.

Just “being” there

My kid falls many times while playing in the park. He looks around and finds me standing not very far, and even before he feels any pain, he is back on his toes, running around. He may not enjoy falling, but the presence of his parent in his visible range probably assures him of safety and lets him ignore the pain.

I remember the late night office stints in earlier half of my career when entire team would struggle with production deployments. Production deployments in software industry notoriously follow the Murphy’s Law, more often than anywhere else. The Project manager would always be with his team, although he may not have an active role to play in it with his team being competent enough to handle and fix the situation. However, his presence or “just being there” with his team, mattered a lot.

An old adage mentions a child to be the father of man, a metaphor for the way man’s childhood habits influence his character in later life.

Parenting a child might educate a parent in many ways, thus making the former even a teacher of man.

P.S: For simplicity of text and uniformity of presentation, I have maintained the reference of a child and parent as “he” (Well, it also stems from my personal experiences with my son :-)). Experiences shared are gender agnostic and no biasing is intended here.

Travelogue - Berlin

2016-08-11T05:03:00.001+05:30

Berlin, the capital of Germany, is an interesting city. In the last 100 years, it has written some of the most interesting chapters in history; From being the epicentre of World War 2 and torn between opposing ideologies of yesteryear superpowers for 28 years, it has ultimately emerged as the present day capital of Europe's (economically) strongest nation.

I visited Berlin recently with my family. First view of the city gave a familiar European feel- majestic buildings, wide, clean spotless roads, trams, buses and trains forming the backbone of an excellent public transport that Europe boasts of.

Brandenburg Tor

Our tour began with a visit to the Brandenburg Tor, an 18th century "Gate" marking the boundary of Berlin then. This gate allowed traders from neighbouring cities to trade in Berlin. We switched to U-55 (underground metro) at Berlin Hauptbahnhof (Central Station) towards Brandenburg. Brandenburg Tor possibly attracts most tourists in Berlin.

Jewish Memorial

Many other tourist attractions, like Reichstag (German parliament), Jewish memorial, Checkpoint Charlie are at a stone's throw. We passed through Jewish Memorial en-route to Checkpoint Charlie. At first, it appears as a miniature of "Jantar Mantar", asking tourists to find their way out through the flat grey blocks.
"The pavements start sloping down and blocks get bigger as you go deeper, making the structure creepy- it's the architect's analogue of the gradually growing torture on Jews, which began with their shops being boycotted, to the notorious holocaust" explained a guide.

Checkpoint Charlie formed the official guarded passage from East to West in erstwhile divided Berlin. The original border artifacts, including check-post and message boards are still preserved. "US Army Officials" donning security uniform still man the check-post and pose for some photographs on request.

Original check-post, officers posing for a click

Checkpoint Charlie witnessed a major political event in October 1961, which, few say, could have brought the world on the brink of World War 3. The bruised ego of an American Army Officer who was denied entry in the East, brought both the cold war forces facing each other with full armour on either side of Checkpoint Charlie. No one fired, 18 hours of diplomatic talks finally thawed the tensions.
This place also houses a museum, which unfortunately we couldn't visit.

American and Russian tanks at Checkpoint Charlie

We proceeded towards TV tower in Alexanderplatz, passing through museum island, Berlin Cathedral, and few other structures. With the Reichstag building tour ahead of us, our schedule didn't allow us to climb the TV tower to watch Berlin from 200 meters above earth.

A "cycle rickshaw" tour guide agreed to drop us at Reichstag, after riding us through few of the attractions nearby, all within an hour and EUR 25.

Passing through The Berlin university- the alma mater of Albert Einstein, Karl Marx and the likes, we stopped at Bebelplatz. This housed one of the largest libraries, and it was here that Nazis burned about 20,000 books, shortly after coming to power in 1933. "'First they burn books, and ultimately they will burn humans' reads a plank here, and see what happened later" said the guide.

We passed through few 18th century cathedrals- Jewish and French, before turning at Checkpoint Charlie to reach the remains of the famous Berlin wall. Standing before a structure you had keenly read about and watching it eagerly, is an inexplicably fascinating experience!

"The building to the right was used by erstwhile Nazi air force. A family threw a rope from one of the upper floors, over the wall, and had it bolted tightly on western ground through some friends there. They used makeshift rappelling gear to smoothly pass over the wall into the west" explained our guide with great interest. This was one of the many coup escapes between 1961 to 1989; East Berliners risked their lives to escape, scornfully mocking and deceiving the Soviet's border police.

A fleet of vintage cars passed by- hippie genre cars that resembled the old Fiat. These were Trabis, cars running on 2 stroke engines, leaving behind a trail of polluting fuel odour. These were built from some form of cheap plastic, since steel was too scarce to be wasted on cars in Soviet occupied Berlin, sometime in late 70s.

On the way to Reichstag, we passed through what appears as a bustling downtown. They call it Potsdamer Platz, the funky city centre that houses some of the most exquisite modern day architectural marvels like the Sony Centre. Potsdamer Platz had been a busy city centre before being grounded completely during the second world war. It remained barren as part of "death strip" in East Berlin, before the iron wall was torn in 1989. Young on age and high on vanity, thats Potsdamer Platz.

"Dem Deutschen Volke" is carved on the Reichstag

We were standing before the Reichstag- the German Assembly which has a glass dome on top. We were let in by the German police after verifying our passport and online registration letter that permitted us entry to the "dome tour". The glass dome above Reichstag provides a 360 degree view of Berlin. We were, however, unfortunate; Police called off the dome tour owing to an "anti-immigrant" agitation rally scheduled to pass from a neighbouring street. That called off our day.

Next morning, we headed to Alexanderplatz, boarding the S-75 S Bahn at Berlin Hauptbahnhof. Berlin S Bahn (metro) has been a lifeline for Berliners since many decades. It was owned by West Berlin during cold war, and passed through few S-Bahn stations on East. These stations were deserted from passengers and guarded by the Reds at all time. Trains would pass without stopping on these "Ghost stations".

S-Bahn at Berlin Hauptbahnhof

We started our exploration with "Purple line", a yellow sight-seeing hop-on / hop-off bus with a purple plank that would drive us through 12 attractions before dropping us back at Alexanderplatz. The bus drove us through the city before hopping us off at the Wall Memorial- a museum dedicated to everything that revolved around the wall, be it the politics, the agitations, the escapes, the deterrent mechanisms, or the murderous shootings by the Red Army.

The lobby gives a clear cross-section view of the wall setup. Unlike a single "wall", it was a multi-layer security put in place by Soviet communists. An inner wall, followed by a death strip - a barren strip of land with watch towers, lights, watch dogs, upward pointing steel spikes (called "Stalin's lawn") and finally the outer wall to complete the fortification. All this, to prevent even a single East Berliner to flee to the west. At it's peak, the communists spent as much as USD 500 billion every year to maintain this wall.

We boarded the next Purple line to hop off at East side gallery. East side gallery is the longest preserved section of Berlin wall that runs parallel to river Spree for 1.3 kilometers. After the wall came down in 1989, this section was purposely preserved. Artists from around the world used this as a canvas to paint the euphoria of German reunification and hope for a better future. Bright colours of liberation transformed the grey shades of communism.

This is possibly the largest open air gallery in the world. The barricades near the wall prevent this gallery from being vandalized in any way. The inner (Spree facing) side of wall portrays real, life size photographs of present day war torn Syria.

Inner side of wall portraying present day Syrian atrocities

Berlin is one of the cities that bled the most during second world war. Structures which survived gradually recovered from the lethal bruises. Purple line takes us through few of them.

We returned to Alexanderplatz, passing through Karl Marx Allee (called Stalin Allee, before Berliners started hating Stalin) which is a wide road with large round-abouts and resemble the boulevards of Moscow.

What you can't miss noticing while walking through Berlin road crossings are the cute little human figures in red and green, signalling you to stop and cross respectively. The man with a hat is named "Ampelmann". A store with the same name has a good collection of these as souvenirs at Berlin Hauptbahnhof.

We visited the Aquadom before retiring for the day. Aquadom is a unique aquarium inhabiting many marine creatures. A one-of-its-kind open elevator that takes us through the blue waters with beautiful fishes all around, is one of an experience. My two-and-half year old kid enjoyed more than we did.

We had only kept shopping and eating for the next half day we had before returning from Berlin. Berlin Hauptbahnhof houses many souvenir shops and eateries; its funnily referred as a shopping mall also having a train station. Berlin beer and curry-wurst (for non-vegetarians) are not to be missed.

3 days were not enough to explore the city entirely. The more you see, the more you get curious. With more time in hand, we could have managed (and would have loved) visiting the German Historic Museum, the DDR museum (that portrays the everyday life of East Germans during cold war), the Berlin Cathedral, The Story of Berlin, cruise along the Spree, a leisure evening at Potsdamer platz and the Berlin zoo.

Well, all that I missed, offers me a reason to visit Berlin again. I loved visiting Berlin!

English Vinglish

2016-01-17T21:35:00.000+05:30

I recently moved to Oslo, Norway on a medium term professional engagement. My engagement requires me to solely support multiple software applications, which were developed by my offshore team of 6 members. The obvious surge in expectations on a client facing role, with no member to support from offshore, made me a bit nervous.

“Don’t take tension, slowly slowly you will get used to it”- my colleague’s comments made me feel comfortable. However, I never knew “Tension” was a “thing”, probably on a festive offer, that could be easily given or taken. “Don’t get tense”, is probably what he meant, literally translating “Tension mat le” in English.

And “slowly slowly”, I mean, will it take ages? Ah, that’s the literal translation for “Dheere dheere” J

Having a prudent eye and ear towards correct usage of words and grammar, be it in any language that I know, has developed the kind of reflexes where these language blunders do not go unnoticed or ignored (few of you who love the languages won’t disagree with me). It is not fault finding per se, probably just a naive study of how native language that we speak, influences the other languages which we (try to) speak.
I’ve often heard Indians complaining against politicians who “only do timepass and eat money”, as Hinglish an expression as a student complaining about his classmate using abusive language says- “Sir, he is giving me bad words”, urgghh…such an abuse of such a beautiful language L.

Certain words or phrases gel so cleanly within our everyday communication, that those may not sound blunders at all. While “revert” suffices to explain the action, many of us unnecessarily use “revert back”, of course, no one can revert ahead J. Same happens with terms like “lagging behind”.

I was surprised to understand from a professor of English, that chaste English also finds fault in sentences like “He runs faster than me” or “He is taller than me”. Correct usage would be “He runs faster than I can” and “He is taller than I am” respectively. Through all my readings thereafter, especially of old English (British) authors like Arthur Conan Doyle or Agatha Christie, I’ve consciously observed the above rule in place. Also surprising was the widely used “prepone” not being an English word at all. It is an Indian alternative for “advance”, which is the correct antonym for “post pone”.

Few terms have evolved over time, few dictionaries have accepted them as valid words, however I personally and very consciously avoid using them (maybe because I belong to the generation where I learnt British English, have loved reading Agatha Christie and still insist on writing “honour” as “honour”, and not “honor)”, few of them are:

Pick up the phone: Nothing wrong here, but action sounds more like picking up a receiver. Smart phone users should better “answer the call” on mobiles, than “picking up the phone”
Anyways: Sounds more informal, I like to use “anyway” both orally and in writing
Parallely: Not sure if this is a correct word, concurrently, simultaneously or “in parallel” is what I would prefer
Cheater: I hate this word, I still prefer the old Victorian “cheat” for anyone who “cheats”
Slowness: Again, not sure if this is correct English, I better avoid it.

While I offer the justifiable benefit of doubt to lack of access to quality education (in schools or at home) especially in countries like India, and the individual preference and importance to correctness of language, fact remains that the first impression is always formed by the way a person communicates (be it any language), but still languages (along with behavioural and other soft skills) are the most neglected and most reluctantly studied subjects in our schools.

That thing called "Intolerance"

2015-12-14T00:40:00.003+05:30

A lot is being said and heard about India being “Intolerant” these days. One may wonder and keep digging through different sources to find what exactly does “Intoleance” mean and what has painted India to be one lately?

An unfortunate incident happens which shouldn’t have; but not very different from what happens worldwide, especially rampant in underdeveloped nations like India, and the entire intellectual layer starts whispering about India getting intolerant. I wonder what it was when thousands of innocents were massacred in Maharashtra as a backlash of Gandhiji’s murder, just because the killer belonged to “their” community? Did this incident not raise questions, rather affirmations on the endurance of the very principle of non-violence that Gandhiji lived for, principles which sadly could not even live for 24 hours after his death :-(.

And why were lakhs of Sikhs brutally killed in retaliation to 2 Sikh bodyguards who killed Mrs. Indira Gandhi? Basically, this mental state of generalizing and targeting communities, dislike towards everything that differs from us and not gracefully considering or accepting other points of view had always been there in Indian society. It’s like a disease which has always been there and has killed many, but hasn’t got a medical name yet. This social disease just got its name in India- “Intolerance”.

Indira declaring emergency to curb opposition or religious uprising in Ayodhya was not termed “Intolerance” then. What painted our faith, rather egos saffron and green was intolerance.

Intolerant had we been when we abused and cursed Yuvraj Singh over the length and breadth of social media for not being in form in the 2014 T20 cricket world cup final, comfortably forgetting his lion’s share in making India win the 2011 ICC World cup. Intolerant were we when we left no stone unturned to even term Maria Sharapova a whore on Facebook, for she just could not recognize Sachin Tendulkar.

I wonder why did none of the intellectuals and thinkers not return awards in retaliation to the moral bankruptcy and judicial impotency in cases where the Nirbhaya murderer wasn’t harshly punished being a juvenile, or when Jayalalitha and Salman Khan were scot-free by the honourable courts, or when lakhs and crores of exchequer money was being shamelessly sucked by the politicians?

Why didn’t they raise their voice against the scores of time, money, energy and judicial synergy literally wasted on deciding if Ayodhya should have a temple or mosque? Could they not through their writing influence masses to have both reside alongside, keeping aside the religious intolerance to create an icon of true national integration that India could boast of?

And then we have our responsible media who responsibly spits venom and keeps the masses engaged (and enraged) with loose talk and gossips. Don’t they only add fuel to the already ignited matter, just to have their breads baked?

We will remain intolerant in this manner till the time we do not cleanse ourselves morally and have better things to think about and being engaged with. A society addicted to hatred and paralyzed by the negativity around is hardly bound to help itself. Hope stays alive though.

The "connected" life

2015-09-06T12:31:00.004+05:30

I briefly wake up, somewhere in the darks of night. I see my mobile lying silently by my pillow, synchronously flashing a tiny white light every alternate second. I catch hold of it and punch the button, its 3:02 am, my phone tells me. What it also tells me, is few messages from Wats app that are lined up for me to read. Those may not need my immediate attention; however, my urge to check the messages comfortably defeats my mind which keeps yelling at my eyes- “There are 3 long cozy hours of sleep ahead, shut down”.

This happens almost regularly, each night a different time from late night gets captured as my “last seen”. Sometimes I also see my Wifi router LEDs blinking, whoa- its still broadcasting whatever the world has to offer me, even at midnight. I close wats app to open MoneyControl, and check how Americans are fishing in Dow Jones today. Occasional alerts from Facebook keep the phone buzzing thereafter, now that’s what my generation calls a “sound” sleep.

Come morning, I wake up, unwinding myself and rubbing my eyes, eager to check if the latest pictures I shared of my kid yesterday have received more likes throughout the night; after all, why under estimate the friendship I share with my distant friends in the USA? And also with few nocturnal ones in India, again, I may not be the only one shrugging off some sleep at 3:02 am?

Friendship, kinship, bonding, relationships, are all polymorphous terms with defined measures and intensities these days. “You click a really bad photograph and share it on FB, which still receives hundreds of likes, it doesn't make your photo good; it only proves you have lot of friends” said an eminent photographer in a recent seminar. Likes and comments on FB, and group memberships in Wats app actually “measure” your engagement in relationships.

With waning tolerance, lack of patience, brittle egos, brevity in conversation and swift mood swings, are we being vexed by this “over connection”? A famous life column in TOI once discussed about the socially coy lot as being most vulnerable to this feeling of “being left out”. The more the internet penetrates into our lives, the more it leaves us feeling left out (FLO). At times boredom and depression starts mounting, making us feel deprived of all the good things that our online friends do, and more importantly, flash on the internet. People broadcasting their covert feelings loudly are making themselves vulnerable to either a collective mockery or jealousy of these FLOs. Many times however, this loudness is in itself a way to shun the silence caused by the boredom and dullness in our own life. Every single like cheers us up momentarily.

Responding to the warning bells, some people have actually started implementing "No mobile Saturdays" or similar initiatives, just an attempt to momentarily disconnect from gadgets and connect with life. Some bonds actually require us to untangle from the web and let ourselves free from the callous and overly-clung world of internet. Personal meet ups are claiming space and hobby enthusiasts are actually collaborating to craft out a life outside the web. Well, life still breathes more comfortably outside the mobile phones and tablets.

Doesn't a mug of coffee with an interesting book in hand and classic track around entice you as much as a group of old friends laughing their heart out on a fun filled evening? There actually is much more to life than what meets the eye on the gadgets.

Just as James Bond says in Skyfall, sometimes the old methods are most effective. You bet!

P.S: If you feel this blog reads your heart out, please share. I'll be counting my blessings every time I wake up tonight ;)

Being a dad

2014-02-08T17:09:00.001+05:30

It’s been a couple of months now that I’ve been a dad. Fatherhood hasn’t really sunk deep in me yet, probably coz my wife and kid are still at my in-laws’ place, which limits me to meeting them only on weekends; and my demanding professional priorities, which have been overriding my personal ones for the last few weeks. I haven’t spent as many sleepless nights for my kid as my in-laws have (building kind of guilt in me at times), but that only adds to the void which makes me yearn for the weekend each day.

It was 6^th of December and I had left early from office, delegating all my office work for the coming week to my team. It was my niece’s 4^th birthday, and she was to become a “tai” (elder sister) the next morning. A quick celebration was followed by our rush to the Deenanath Mangeshkar hospital, where surgery was scheduled the following morning.

7^th of December was the D day; the regular winter chill was different for us that morning. We anxiously waited as Anuja was being operated; my hunches said a “boy”, while my heart yearned for a “girl”. And there it was, a pink little life wrapped in blue, the surgeon informed- it’s a healthy baby boy. Our joy knew no bounds; what a feeling that is when you witness life begetting another life. A part of you, a delicate one in flesh and bones, that breathes life by itself and cries softly, with eyes, still tightly closed and hands cuddled up to the chest, innocently searching the coziness of a mother’s womb. You feel reborn, as a father this time, when you hold your kid in your arms for the first time. At first you struggle, not letting yourself disturb the tenderness that nature demands for a new born. You tend to touch the tender hands and the soft feet, you wish it could open its eyes and respond to the names you call it with. It’s that “awesome” moment when you practically feel your prayers being answered and wishes being granted.

I’ve been visiting my in-laws every weekend since then; each time I see changes in his features- chubbier cheeks, cleaner skin, wider eyes and fairer glow. He looks at me with innocent and seemingly curious eyes, as if trying to recognize or ask few questions, probably trying to relate with me as a stranger with familiar voice. They say an infant recognizes the voice he’s been hearing and the touch he’s been feeling ever since his senses develop during pregnancy. No wonder, he responds positively to classical music that Anuja would hear frequently throughout her days.

My kid is growing up and is getting healthier by the day. He senses the touch of a stranger and recognizes the hands he is comfortable in, consciously defining the boundaries of his own comfort zone; at times he responds our words with a sweet little innocent smile.

Everyone says he inherits his looks from Anuja, although I have a naive eye towards finding resemblance in people, I do not disagree, as that makes him more beautiful to my eyes :-).

Beginning of the end of my first decade

2013-08-03T15:06:00.002+05:30

Come 9^th August and I’ll complete 9 years in the IT industry. 9 is a lucky number for me; I was born on 9^th, got married on the same 9^th and stepped into the IT Industry on another 9^th.

The day was Monday- 9^th August 2004, when I got inducted into Cybage. The impression formed out of the swanky structure in Kalyaninagar only grew deeper upon getting in. It was a ripe time for computer graduates to get into the IT world; I was one of the herds which got inducted that day. Among all Engineering graduates donning additional CDAC credentials, I was probably the only under graduate who joined as a “Technical Support Engineer”.

Projects began, so did the fun; working within a super-cool infrastructure, having my own professional email id and business card was all fascinating. But all in the fun, my business still read “Technical Support Engineer” (TSE), while that of my colleagues read the creamier “Software Engineer” (SE). Things were settling down, rosy beginnings were turning to practical routine; the general whine for “good” work was getting louder among my colleagues. Still combating with the .Net and Java jargons, I started realizing the difference between “good” and “mediocre” work. A resent of being a TSE only became sharper when I started realizing I was paid for the “mediocre” work (in conventional / conservative IT industry terms, non-technical support activities were then considered “mediocre” J). Back then, my professionally immature mind would consider myself an ostracized kid in this Vanity Fair.

My mind grew bitter after the first appraisal, when this “professional racism” became evident through the increment figures. Working in shifts and earning peanuts doing “mediocre” work was enough for me to explore other avenues. An urge to belong to the creamy layer was budding in the background and the thirst for motivation grew each day. Pensive situations can actually be motivators, they force you to hit the gas harder and accelerate. This transmission infuses positivity that energizes you further. I started considering myself lucky to have all the time during the day to attend technical courses. Luckier I got with having the best of the Managers (mentors rather) to encourage and provide me with opportunities of “good” work. I was gradually inching towards the sunny side; it took all 3 years of efforts, learning, motivation, fostering, mentoring and proving for me to get an SE on my business card J. I was happy, and I’ve only got happier ever since. It takes time for one to grow mature and realize that no work is “mediocre”, everything is “good” as long it’s done smartly.

Few lessons that these 9 years have drummed in me:

Keep absorbing the best from what the surrounding offers. Ideas, just like opportunities are omnipresent, right tuning of the senses catches the right wave.

Speak up and speak up at the right time. If it is a daunting task with impossible timelines, speak up; voice it if you feel you deserve better than what you’re offered. Speaking, if employed correctly, also helps building a rapport with your colleagues, seniors and clients. Rapport building elevates above buttering with a broad margin, however can easily be mistaken for the latter. It really shouldn’t matter if they call it buttering, it’s no harm to hold on your rapport if it doesn’t harm anyone and benefits you positively.

Be lazy, only if it inspires you to find easier ways of getting your mundane tasks done; strive to get more, from less.

Do what you fear; I recall this over demanding Indian client (I should not exclusively use the term “over demanding” for Indian clients, as they are replaceable synonyms) at Persistent, every phone call from whom would disturb me. Rather than living on the anxieties of getting his calls, I decided to call him from my side to update the status. He being least prepared to receive my call came to my advantage, as he would ask me less questions, and this pro-activeness assured him his project was being taken care seriously.

Keep discovering things that keep you on high.

Be prepared when asking queries, as we ourselves are keener on helping those who come prepared, rather than those who approach with a plain “How to?”

Deserve and obtain (earlier) than ask and get (later); “Pay me what you get and I will start taking up more responsibilities” was the reply from an employee when his Manager asked him to proactively take additional responsibilities to earn better score. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary”, the witty Manager replied wryly.

Polish your English, as the very first impression is formed and stays by the way you present yourself. Concentrating on vocal abilities is as important as improving programming language skills, to me personally the earlier matters more.

And last but the most important, Be and stay Positive J

Unconventional Orthodoxy

2012-11-23T17:32:00.000+05:30

Any culture represents a civilization. It cultivates over chapters in history and spreads across a larger geography. Culture has an inherent potential to influence masses and govern their beliefs- Beliefs, at times cemented in the minds, which are quick to form and hard to break. Such beliefs mostly stem out of Orthodoxy which dissolves so cleanly within the culture that in certain cases both the terms are referred interchangeably.

Orthodoxy- as explained by Wikipedia- derives from the word “Orthodox” which is generally used to mean the adherence to accepted norms, more specifically to creeds, especially in religion. Orthodoxy must have developed out of certain protocols bound forcibly for the benefit of society at large. Gradually these protocols graduated to become unpublished laws; Laws inherited from ancestors and passed on to next generations who never dared to ask- “WHY?”

Why do we avoid anything good on an Amavasya (no moon day), why to observe “Suver” and “Sutak” for members born or dead within even the most distant relatives (at times for those who haven’t been in contact over years); Why are eclipses a taboo and what haunts many on Friday the 13^th? Reasons- Laws are meant to be followed. While some laws stand justified even today, for others the changes in social structures have long erased the justifiable reasons. But still, for reasons unknown, we continue being prisoners of our own beliefs and self-induced fear.

Human being’s inhibitive quest to reach God, attain happiness and avoid problems makes him blindly follow the doctrine. To me personally, anything that injects positivity in self is always good, be it faith or blind faith, as this positivity itself makes way for a great life. What if we think to refabricate our beliefs and orthodoxy to suit the needs of changing times? After all it would be a positive attempt to balance the modern day prudence with the incorrigible orthodoxy, without harming the pious intention.

Say- why not feed a needy poor than a prosperous Brahmin to achieve a win-win situation? Instead of offering millions to idols, why not use that amount to feed trillions around. While following a Guru might be a source of assertiveness for many (and in this way, it is definitely helpful), if this over-devotion and dependence overshadows our own thinking, it has all the potential to paralyze the brain and decision making abilities. Isn’t this an under-utilization of the most valuable asset called brain that is distributed for free by God? :-)

We probably should envisage an atmosphere where thoughts challenge the beliefs and pragmatism beats dogmatism. Faith may not always be blind. Adding senses to faith might make it more responsible and productive. Amendments in orthodoxy over time should be accepted as openly as the alteration of laws in the country’s constitution. These being unpublished laws, each individual can be a change bearer, one who is a heretic with an open mind and a sincere faith in spreading positivity.

So the next time you cut your hair on Saturday or clip your nails at dusk, do put personal hygiene and personal grooming ahead of the blind faith :-) Think about it.

Attack on Indian culture

2012-03-09T16:32:00.000+05:30

This article on TOI inspired me to post my thoughts here. I personally dislike Greg Chappel for the games he played against Saurav Ganguly, however more than his comments on the Indian culture, this time I was interested in the comments (read reactions) posted by the TOI readers.

No wonder- you won't be an Indian if you do not strongly react to such remarks made by a foreigner. We Indians won't mind comfortably jumping the road signals, fighting over petty issues, breeding corruption or spitting on the roads, without the slightest element of guilt that we are causing trouble to fellow Indians; such and lot more acts which have never been advocated in the 5000 year old culture. Old, may not always be Gold (per se), there is always scope for introspection and improvement. Rather than boasting of a glorious past, should we not ponder whether we actually follow what our culture has taught us?

Although some Indians in past and present have displayed great leadership and innovative abilities, still- think over this:

Agriculture has been a way of life of Indians for thousands of years, still even today Indian farmer has to make ends meet to produce and save his crop. Relatively newer crop-cultivating nations like Israel have overcome dependence and are way ahead in farm productivity, while poor farmers of India still heavily depend on the rains (where is the innovation?).
India receives more sunlight throughout the year than most of the developed countries, still we are the least consumers of solar energy.
They say necessity is the mother of invention, lot of inventions happened in the west which necessitated more in the sub-continental climate and populace (e.g. Refrigerator, air-conditioner), yet as usual we were the followers.
Population control measures- again the westerners had to come up with a solution that benefits the Indians most
A culture boasting of pre-historic town planning (in Mohenjo-Daro) has some of the filthiest and worst cities on earth
Indian culture has always promoted peace and harmony, yet we find the westerners to be more polite, helpful and carry more civic sense than Indians.

Every Indian should be proud of Indian culture- undoubtedly for how great it is, however being proud doesn't mean turning a blind eye on the flipper side. I believe Indian culture has instigated an over dependence on nature and God, which has further decelerated the progress of our society (maybe this is what God wants, maybe HE is punishing us for our deeds, etc.). Indian culture has (somehow unintentionally) promoted blind faith, racism, lethargy, arrogance and a few other negative traits observed among Indians.

Reluctance in accepting things with a broad mindset is something very Indian. Why can't Indians introspect, take criticism positively and make it constructive to build a great society that everyone can truly be proud of?

Management begins at home

2012-01-29T15:10:00.001+05:30

My PGDBA lesson defines Management as “the process of designing and maintaining performance environment through relations building within and outside an organization by optimally utilizing all resources including human, available to it, and manage efficient and effective use for attaining selected purpose.”

Management is more of an art (rather than science) which doesn’t follow strict protocols or set of rules; it rather is an open ended process consisting of all those (smallest to largest) activities and policies resulting in efficient and effective use of resources. It may not be limited to corporate organizations, but extends to every entity that can be a termed a “system”. A home, a family, an individual human life too is a system with a closer boundary.

As a human being, we all live for a purpose; have we identified the resources which we can employ effectively to achieve it? Here are a few:

Technology: A very important and rather under-utilized, includes mobile phones, internet, machines
Manpower: Members of family, friends, agents, helpers
Facilities offered by our vendors (be it your grocery shop, your bank, mobile company, insurance company, etc.)
Human brain: Most important of all, as this one makes the above 3 work efficiently

Trust your memory, but rely on technology

I believe human brain is the biggest asset offered to mankind- why not use it for a bigger purpose rather than wasting it in remembering mundane activities? Leave this job to your mobile phone. The cheapest of mobile phones available in market can be a great resource at hand, and act as your Personal Assistant. It will take and save your notes, remind you of mundane as well as important tasks (like your in-laws’ birthdays :)), wake you up every morning, securely store important documents which might help at the eleventh hour, organize your contacts, act as a calculator and what not.

Get Online

Seems ages since we are using the Internet, but do we really “juice it up”? Major banks provide the online banking facility- a great relief to the “queue” phobia. Internet as a “resource” can prove a boon when employed for all banking transactions (even automating periodic transactions), utility bill payments, travel reservations, and much more.

Google is known to all as something that fetches what you are looking for, but that’s not all. It offers a range of applications which- if implemented judiciously can make Google a great “resource”. Google documents allows you to create and maintain your online catalog, where you can manage all your content online, just the way you file documents at home. The advantage- you don’t carry your bulky documents everywhere, since its on Google, it’s everywhere. A friend of mine has a habit of scanning all his important documents and uploading them on Google docs- I’ve already stolen the idea :).

Google Calendar is another amazing application which helps managing your personal events and meetings. Load it with all the important dates (birthdays, anniversaries :)), apply an annual repeat, and whoa, Google makes sure it sends you email and messages on your mobile before each event. The advantage- reminders in mobiles get lost after purchasing a newer one, but again- Google is everywhere to remind you. Who says good things always come at a price- Google is absolutely free!

Let your wheels move in parallel

Time and money being the most expensive resources (they also classify as assets) cannot be used as liberally as other resources. Better management of other resources and time saving processes can leave you with ample time and money to invest for good. A step towards achieving this could be identifying regular tasks that can run in parallel, and run on their own. Grocery, vegetable and fruit shopping can happen while returning from office (making your wife (another important human resource) happy :)), arrangements to fix plumbing needs can happen while you are in office, thus saving your Saturday. A collaboration of resource use (technology, manpower and vendor offered facilities) and bit of planning can help automate tasks and save precious time.

Observe thy neighbours, and train thy resources

Corporates don't mind approving huge investments in training resources, as that is aptly the need of the hour. Training resources can reap major benefits as resources become self-reliant and can work independently. E.g.- training and encouraging your spouse and parents on driving your car can save loads of time and (driving) efforts and make them self-reliant- especially during emergency hours. Management bits and lessons can also come from external resources / friends / surroundings- observation and effective implementation can work wonders.

Stay Organized, stay happy

It’s like investing time initially and working on your resources to organize your life, and expect compounding returns in the form of more available time and less physical and mental intervention. Collaboration of resources can work wonders, a few steps to achieve this could be:

Organize all important documents in physical folders, properly tagged
Maintain a copy online (Google Docs), this acts as a part of your Risk mitigation plan (another important Management module)- in case you lose your physical papers
Checklists for mundane activities (monthly grocery list, travel kit, taxation requirements, festival requirements, etc.)
Monthly expense planning (Google docs offers some cool templates for this, and Google Calendar can send reminders :))
Organize mobile contacts, make relevant folders, make sure emergency numbers (doctor, ambulance, bank & credit card call centre) remain on speed dial

Management is a process which calls for frequent review and continuous improvements. This blog is a very small attempt to identify and improve some of the very basic activities of daily life. As Henry Ford quoted- “I’m not a hard working person, rather an absolutely lazy one who keeps finding easier ways of getting his work done”; a thought worth implementation, lets strive to be lazy in this manner :)

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara...

2011-09-12T18:46:00.002+05:30

I happened to watch this movie with my wife lately; nice happy movie, full of life, just like “Jab We Met”. It’s a story of three friends who are off to Spain to celebrate their bachelorhood as of one of them is soon to get married. Three weeks of adventure, fun and (bit of) philosophy that follows keeps your senses glued to the screen.

Each one of the protagonists is sub-consciously combating himself; running away from answering his own questions. Adventures and drives, fun with friends helps each one realize that all answers lie within them, one just needs to listen to his heart.

Movie characters relate closely to today’s youth, and movie situations, to their dilemma. There are Hrithik Roshans around who are running a rat race, forgetting completely that even if they win, they still remain rats. Running after money, envisaging a great future deprives them from enjoying their most valuable “present”. Abhay Deols refrain from speaking their hearts out; guilt ridden souls do not wish to (momentarily) hurt others while compromising on their most valuable asset called “life”. On the other side, there are even Farhan Akhtars who take life very casually; blissfully unknown that feelings coming straight out of heart can heal relations better.

While answering the protagonists, this movie also poses a few questions to the audience- what really matters more in life? What is it that should remain permanent in life- is it a heart delighting hobby or a tiring rat race? A well nourished personal relation or a selfish professional connection?

What is it that adds “life” to mere metabolism supported by breathing?

This movie is a MUST watch, and the message- worth implementing. Maybe watching this movie makes you understand why adding life to every moment, makes “moments in life” better :-)

Itni si zindagi main- kyon daudta hai raat din, kya paa lega itna daudkar?
Yaad hai kab dekha tha Sooraj ko aakhri baar ugate hue,
Kab nihara tha chand ko chandni main chalte hue,
Saanson main kaid kab ki thi foolon ki mahak,
Kab kaano main aakhri baar goonji thi masoom chidiya ki chahak,
Tanhai main baithe hue kab gufta-goo ki thi khud ke saath,
Kab kisi khoobsurat shayari ke liye dil se nikli thi- Irshaad,
Saare lamhe kho diye, sab kuchh paane ki chahat main,
Kabhi socha hai kya kya khoya hai- aisi jindagi bitane main??