Heather Sunseri

Exciting News: I've moved!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 09:00:00 +0000

After an exuberant amount of over-analzying and weeks of stalking other peoples' blogs and Wordpress themes, I found, put an offer on, and closed on a new home.
I hope you will followe me over to my brand-spanking new home, http://heathersunseri.com where you will find my fantasmical new blog and today's blog post: If It Ain't Broke, Why Fix It?
So come on. *Waving hands frantically to get you to follow.* Let's go. Tell all your friends. Bring them along. The more the merrier.

Envy: Natural, But Waste of Time

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I was reading this blog post the other day on one of those sites. You know the kind. The web site was beautifully designed. The post was perfectly written. The blogger had a huge following.

I found myself in a moment of pure envy. I thought, “I wish I wrote like that. Why, God, don’t I write like this woman?”

Ridiculous, I know.

A similar thing happened a year or so ago. I had been back to work with my current employer for a little over a year (the same employer I began my career with many years ago). On this day, a coworker of mine, a wonderful lady who had started in public accounting the very same day I did oh-so-many years ago, received a huge promotion.

I had a tough moment when this announcement was made. Not because I wasn’t happy for her. I was. But I struggled with my own identity. I could have been her. And for several minutes, I wondered if it should have been me who received the promotion.

We make many choices in this life. And God creates us to be certain people – ones he designed before we even took our first breath. The reason I wasn’t the one accepting this huge promotion was because I had chosen a different path in life. And because God equipped me with a different set of talents and ambitions than he did for her.

So, why do we waste time with wanting to be someone else? Why do we get jealous when others receive an honor?

I gave myself a pep talk that day that I want to share with you. A few bullet points of how I got over my short-term envy.

I congratulated the person, and meant it! – It wasn’t hard, because she truly deserved the honor. She and I were two different people. We had different goals. We had enjoyed completely different lives. Our work just happened to bring us back together again.
During some alone time, I examined why I was upset with myself. Maybe a part of me wondered if I had chosen the wrong path in life. I quickly realized that, no, I hadn’t chosen the wrong path. Just a different one.
Also during some alone time, I outlined my own accomplishments over the years. Ones that were unique to me. Not because I wanted a pat on the back, but because I needed to be thankful for the blessings in my life. I had plenty.
Got back to work. My life and dreams were ongoing. I was still striving toward some high aspirations. God still had a plan for me.

So, as I read this post last week and marveled at how wonderful a writer this woman was, I faced this truth: I don’t write like her, because I write like me.

I didn’t receive that promotion, because I never went down the path or made the choices that would have led to that position.

Why is it so hard to see our own God-given talents at times? Why do we waste one second being jealous of someone who is clearly a different person on a path 100% separate from our own?

Coincidentally, I drafted this post last week before I received some wonderful news from my friend, Wendy Miller. Be sure to go over to her website today and congratulate her. She is one heck of a lady who deserved the fantastic news she received on Friday. But I'll let her tell you... Congratulations my dear friend! You so deserved your incredible news! And I say that with ZERO envy and complete elation! (Okay, maybe a little envy. :) )

UPDATE: This just in... Sarah Forgrave, another awesome friend, has an announcement of her own today. Congratulations, Sarah!! I couldn't be more thrilled for both you and Wendy!

There is no room for complaining on a short-term mission, or anywhere really

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

If I had a nickel for every time I prayed out loud, "Please, God, let the toilets flush this morning. Don't make me pee on top of someone else's poop again."

I wish I could tell you that the above statement was something I wrote for shock value to get your attention and not something I said out loud near the end of my trip in Haiti. The big reason I wish I hadn't actually said those words was because that "prayer" wasn't really a prayer in my heart. I knew it, and everyone around me knew it. Part of me was trying to be funny when I said it, but in truth? I was simply complaining. I was voicing the thoughts on everyone's mind. Let's just call it what it was.

Everyone around me agreed with my complaint. Who wouldn't, right? The smell alone… I digress.

But here are the problems with complaining about something that everyone else is already well-aware of:

Complaining gives life to the thing you're complaining about. And complaining takes your eyes and heart away from the real task at hand.
Complaining is addictive. The more you complain, the more you want to complain.
Complaining is destructive. The more you complain, the harder it is to see the brighter side.
Complaining makes things look worse than they really are.
Complaining is contagious. Negativity breeds negativity in others.
The only way to win among complainers is to be the biggest complainer, the most negative. Any attempt to be positive or cheerful and that person is looked at harshly by the main culprit.

But let's look at the brighter side of things.

Psychologist Martin Seligman showed in his groundbreaking research in positive psychology that people who see the world in a positive light have a long list of advantages, including:

They live longer
They're healthier
They have more friends and better social lives
They enjoy life more
They're more successful at work

So, whether you're on a short-term mission trip, at work, at home, or even at your child's sporting event, keep in mind that pessimism not only grows with age, the opposite reaction helps you age more gracefully.

But here's the problem. I'm a passionate person, and with that passion comes opinions. I can also be very outspoken. With that comes the desire to speak when I'm passionate about an opinion. Which turns to... you guessed it... complaining. (Okay, not always. Sometimes my passionate opinions turn into well-thought-out conversations - which is also a matter of opinion. See the circular problem we have here?)

I have found that when I enter tough situations, whether it is a work environment that is less than appealing, a meeting where several people are upset about issues going on, or even out in the mission field where life isn't what I'm used to, I want people around me who agree with me. The problem with drawing others into your negativity is allowing the complaint to grow. Soon, it takes a life of it's own and becomes bigger than when it started.

But if I stop and think for only a second and look hard enough, I can find the positive side of things. If I can see the situation for what it is – a short-term issue that is usually small in the whole scheme of life – I can help myself and others see a more positive light. Be a part of the solution, not the problem.

In case you're wondering, the toilets did eventually flush. Just a short-term problem with the camp's water supply. It was never as big of a problem as many of the short-term missionaries made it out to be. And that's the thing with most issues we complain about. Almost always, the thing we're giving so much life to is not that big of a problem at all.

Next time, if I feel the need to express my frustration, I promise to chat silently with God. At least then, I give Him the chance to say, "Heather, remember why you're there." (In other words, get over yourself.) "Overlook the short-term issues. I guarantee you will live through this and be stronger for it. I will provide the things you really need when you need them."

I still might try to argue with God that I really do need the toilets to flush, but in the end, we all know Who is right. And if I can shut the complaining down, the up side is I'll live longer. Win-win! Be more positive, live a longer, happier life.

Just something to think about:

Can you think of a time when you've gotten so worked up over a problem, then later realized how little that problem really was? Did you ever bring others into the problem – you know get others on "your side?" Have others ever sucked you into a situation? How easy is it for you to walk away from an issue? Are you able to stand up to the complainer and help him/her see things more positively?

Confessions of a Pool Chair Hoarder

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I am not proud of what I am about to tell you.

You see, it started with a stupid jelly fish grazing my daughter's foot ten minutes after arriving at the beach. No, I'm not exaggerating. It was ten minutes.

We unloaded the car, threw everything inside our hotel room, whipped out our bathing suits, and hit the sand. Ten minutes later. My daughter. Stung.

I, being the wonderful mother that I am, closed my book I had just opened and took my sweet daughter to the room to try and doctor a jelly fish sting. Do you know how to treat a jelly fish sting? Well, I kind of did, but I didn't pack meat tenderizer or vinegar in my medicine bag. (I will next time, though. You can write that down.)

My daughter played it tough. She said she wanted to take a shower and get the sand and salt water off of her. What I didn't know, until after I Googled it, was that fresh water is the WORST thing you can put on a jelly fish sting. By the time my husband and son came up from the beach, daughter was losing her toughness.

Mike and I went out to get pizza and vinegar, which was just across the street. By the time we got back, my poor daughter was full out crying. Broke my heart. I would not be securing Mom of the Year with this incident.

Mike and I fought about the best way to soak a foot in vinegar. Neither of us won. Scared we would run out of vinegar, I soaked a washcloth in the smelly liquid and draped it across the foot. Within twenty minutes the pain was gone.

But not the memory.

My daughter was tough though. Besides, I told her that no one gets stung more than once in their lifetime. I got stung as a young child, and I've never been stung again. She swam in the ocean the next few days and didn't get stung.

Still, one afternoon, the kids decided they wanted to swim in the pool. And being sunned out, I was thinking a spot under an umbrella with my awesome book sounded heavenly.

Do you know how hard it is to find a spot under an umbrella in South Carolina in July? Very hard. I stood on the edge of the pool did a 360 degree turn. A person or a towel occupied every single chair around that pool. But what amazed me was this. There were way more towels than people. And there weren't enough people in the pool to justify the number of towels spread among the chairs. Not only could I not get a spot under the umbrella, I wasn't even going to get a chair unless I moved a towel.

Unless I moved a towel. Would that be wrong?

I didn't do it, but, man, I wanted to. I swallowed my irritation. We were nearing the end of our day anyway.

But then Thursday came. Being a beach person, I didn't even look at the chair hogs as I walked by the pool. Just walked right on by, nose in the air, and headed straight for the beach. Why did they even come to the beach if they were just going to sit by the pool? You can sit by a pool anywhere. Pfft.

The kids swam in the ocean. Rode the waves. Played with their wake board.

I settled in to my beach chair, pushed my sunglasses into place, and opened my book. Only three or four chapters to go. I was nearing the climax.

Then here came my daughter. Tears streaming down her face. Stung again!

I packed up, took her to the room for the vinegar treatment. Thirty minutes later, Mike came in with our son. Stung.

Are you freaking kidding me?

Friday morning, I knew. We were pooling it. My kids were not taking their chances in that scary ocean another day. So, I checked the time to see when the pool would open.

9 a.m. But my family was sleeping.

Still, I was reserving us chairs. So, I threw on the handiest of clothes, and I headed to the pool at 8:55.

Imagine the horror upon discovering all the chairs under umbrellas were already taken, and most of the others were already covered with those dang orange hotel towels. I fumed.

The only chairs that remained were three chairs on the other side of the pool in direct sunlight. I growled, and I just know the guy vacuuming the pool thought I was insane.

I wish I could tell you this is the worst of it when I walked over and reserved all three chairs even thought I was pretty sure I only needed two of them.

No, the worse came right after breakfast when the rest of the family and I decided we would take a morning bike ride that turned into a souvenir shopping spree.

We didn't return to "our" chairs until 2 p.m. in the afternoon. In my mind, everyone around that pool stared at us when we got there. They judged and called us names. And when the sun drifted off to the west, the palm trees behind the chairs shaded us from the intense heat. Everyone looked at us with envy. And they knew I had unfairly snagged those chairs that morning.

I'm not exaggerating when I tell you I felt nauseous for becoming the very person I evil-eyed earlier in the week.

But the whole thing got me thinking about our culture of entitlement. How so many Americans think they deserve certain privileges in life. How it would be easy to blame the jelly fish for my desire to make sure we had comfort that last day at the beach, when really I was just plain wrong to "reserve" those chairs. Especially the third one when I knew we wouldn't be using them for at least several hours (though it ended up more than five – yikes!). I was self-serving and wrong.

What would life be like if we all allowed our consciousnesses to dictate our decision making? What if we were all considerate—taking only food we can actually eat, run only the amount of water from our faucet that we actually need, keep lights on only when we need them to see? What if we all consumed only the resources we needed in life?

Haitian Voodoo and Shooting Stars

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

You can explore all around Wikipedia or Googled articles and find more information than you thought possible on Haitian voodoo. And I'm pretty sure many of us have preconceived notions of what we think voodoo is and who the people who practice voodoo are. I know I did before I traveled to Haiti. But I also have an over-active imagination.

To be honest, I saw very little evidence of people practicing voodoo – nothing more than some colorful voodoo flags flown outside homes. But I heard the evidence.

When I traveled to the community of Mayette mid-way through the week, a group of us stayed at the Mission's campus in Beauchamp. This was a very rural area of Haiti. Houses were scattered about, fairly far apart from each other, very much like you would imagine in rural areas of many states in America.

While there, we slept outside on the roofs. I've been camping before, although it was a very long time ago, but I do not ever remember sleeping outside where the only things I could see or hear came from God. Stars blinked above me and I was reminded of that song Indescribable by Chris Tomlin where he sings "You placed the stars in the sky, and You know them by name." (There were A LOT of stars. It took me a couple of days to name my second child.) Then, some horrible-sounding, honking bird made the worst sound I've ever heard in my life off in the distance. I mean, God had a sense of humor when he created whatever that bird was. I still wonder what kind of name God gave him.

For some odd reason, it wasn't the strange bird that kept me up that first night, but the stars. There were so many. I remember lying there wondering if this sky was a gift from God to the Haitian people – people who see sickness, hunger, and filth every day of their lives – but they get to look up at this night sky and rest knowing that there most certainly is a God, and He placed each of those lights – some bright, some not so much – in its own special spot. I must have stared at those stars for over an hour before I finally drifted off.

The second night in Beauchamp, I fell asleep early out of pure exhaustion from the week. In that northwest area of Haiti, it was hotter during the days than it was in St. Louis du Nord, but much cooler at night. I was very thankful I had packed a light fleece. I woke around 2:30 a.m., a little cold and super annoyed at my new "friend," the honking bird. But it didn't take long for me to turn over on my mattress and look up. Part of me wondered if that bird was an alarm clock sent from God to me that said, "Wake up, Heather. You certainly don't want to miss this."

Within seconds of looking up, I saw the most beautiful shooting star across the sky.

Then I heard the drums. I knew immediately I was hearing a voodoo ceremony close by. Chills moved up and down my arms. The drums, mixed with a distant sound of people chanting, cast an eerie feeling over me. I thought of the conversation I had a couple of days earlier with a pastor from the states.

I asked this pastor whether he truly believed that Haitians conjured up evil spirits. And he told me a story of witnessing a ritual, or an act of witchcraft, on a previous trip to Haiti. He said that he saw with his own eyes an unexplainable smoke that came from nothing during a spell of chants. He also spoke of a fear and sadness that he felt when he observed this act.

When others from my group visited the voodoo temple in Ansefeleur, they met a man who was performing another ritual. This man explained that someone had stolen from him, and he was asking that the thief be punished, or worse.

Voodoo is very real in Haiti. It's very dark and it's so far apart from the love we find in Jesus Christ. As I looked up at the sky, thinking about these stories, I saw another shooting star, and I prayed on it, hoping God would see my prayer riding on a light he created. In many ways, I felt like a child wishing upon a star. But in a much bigger way, I was hopeful that the Haitians who were participating in a very dark ceremony close by were seeing that same light whiz through the sky. And maybe, just maybe, that light would open their hearts to THE Holy Spirit I just sent a prayer to, and that they would turn their backs on the darkness in front of them.

Answers are not in the darkness, but only in the Light.

I'm curious today. Have you ever witnessed something very dark, spiritually speaking? Or maybe something supernatural that you couldn't explain? I would love to hear from you.

Balancing the schedule and why I consider writing a hobby

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Don't get in a huff. This is not a post debating whether writing is a hobby before you're published. Or whether you can call yourself a writer or an author. I don't spend much time sticking controversial labels on what I'm doing here on this blog or with my time. I especially don't spend time debating such labels. But I am facing another change in seasons, so I'm feeling a little reflective today.

To be honest— (Which I almost always am—with you guys anyway. Sometimes, not so much with myself.)

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yeah. To be honest, I've always managed my schedule better when there was a schedule to manage. It's when my days are wide-open that I sometimes lose time. I might get some writing done or a blog post up, but all-and-all, I'm not as productive as I maybe should be when I have a lot of time on my hands. It's debatable. Maybe I should simply enjoy and be thankful for the lay-around time with the kids in the summer. And I am, but I also always wish I had used my time a little more wisely during the summer months. It just seems that the time is all of a sudden—poof—gone. And I didn't get to do near the things I wanted to do or meant to do.

And now my time to read blogs, write posts, write novels, and read books is going to be limited. You see, I start back to work on Friday. Kids start school tomorrow, and I have a meeting (a CPA sort of meeting) first thing Friday. And I'm not even close to ready. The kids are ready. They won't tell you that, but they are. We've got pencils and notebooks and the snazziest folders ever to prove it.

But me? I haven't given work the first thought. What I do for a paycheck is so unbelievably different from what I do here on this blog and in the crazy world of writing.

This got me thinking about why I love to write. And read, for that matter.

People are always saying that they read in order to escape. Escape their jobs. Escape a stressful home life. Escape very real problems.

I've decided that I don't really write or read to escape. I write in order to inspire. To create a sort of fuel made of imagination. There's nothing more energizing to me than breathing life into a story through the written word. To write something that gets my blood pumping and my mind racing about possibilities. I sometimes think, hope that I will be able to share what I write with others, but until then, I enjoy the pleasure it gives me.

I'm lucky. I have a pretty fantastic life. It's not without problems and issues, but I'm happy. And writing takes me to another level of joyfulness.

So, with another busy season of work barreling down, I'm faced with the challenge of time management and prioritizing.

How much time to I try to schedule each day for writing?
Blogging?
Tweeting?
When do I do these things? Morning? Night?

I often feel like I have multiple personalities when I'm juggling so many "jobs." This is why I don't consider writing a job. Writing is something I do for fun. I write to energize my mind and heart. If I considered writing a job at this point in my "career," I'm not so sure I would stick with it. If I felt like I had to answer to a set of rules and make-believe bosses in that world, the guilt during my busy seasons at work would destroy me. That's not to say that if I truly had some fantastic people (agents, editors, publishers) to answer to that I wouldn't work my butt off for them. But for now, I want to enjoy the act of creating a world to imagine myself in. Creating characters that get themselves into and out of trouble. I want to enjoy this season of writing. When I enter the next season—the one filled with agents, editors, publishers, marketing, etc.—I'll be ready, and I'll find great pleasure in it.

So, does all of this rambling have a point?

I think so. I think my point is this advice to myself:

Prioritize your writing projects.
Find a writing schedule that meshes well with your new work schedule and your family's fall schedule AND STICK WITH IT. Do it because writing makes you happy. Don't do it because you'll get fired if you don't.
Be happy in the season you're in. There's a reason for every season—to prepare you for the next.
Be purposeful and prayerful in your actions.

What kind of person travels abroad to serve?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 12:30:00 +0000

On vacation a couple of weeks ago, I read Blood Covenant (book two in the Mission Hope series) by Lisa Harris. This post is not a reveiw of the book (although I do plan to talk about this book in the future, because I thought it was very, very good), but I have a question for you that struck me while I was reading.

To give you a little background... the product description:

From the explosive first pages, Lisa Harris weaves a tale of heart-stopping suspense and adventure with her second book in the Mission Hope Series. When fighting erupts between government forces and renegade Ghost Soldiers deep within the Republic of Dhambizao, thousands are forced to leave their homes. Dr. Paige Ryan, who works with Volunteers of Hope International, is sent to lead a team to set up a refugee transit site---where the immediate needs for shelter, water, sanitation, and food are critical. Nick Gilbert, a bush pilot for Compassion Air, joins the team to help fly supplies in and out of the area. With the refugee camp already experiencing overcrowding, raids, and uprisings, a group of American mountain climbers is attacked by the Ghost Soldiers. Paige's medical team responds immediately, rescuing survivors and taking them into the camp. When it's discovered that one of the trekkers is carrying an infectious disease, the harrowing conditions of the camp are forgotten. In desperate need of vaccines and the Ghost Soldiers blocking the only road out until their demands for amnesty are met, it won't be long before the disease is out of control ... and there is nowhere to run.

Early on in that book the two main characters, Paige and Nick, have a discussion about the cynicism one can feel when she no longer feels like she's helping. They go on further to discuss how helping even one person IS making a difference. But that's not what I want to discuss here, so keep reading.

Nick, the hero of the book, tells Paige, "Someone once told me that there are two kinds of people who end up here (Africa): runners and seekers. The runners are fleeing their past and the seekers are hungry for adventure."

I often wonder why some people are determined to go on mission trips, whether short-term or long-term, and some have no desire to take such a trip (both are perfectly okay, by the way - we're all wired differently for a reason). But I got some crazy looks when I told people I was going to Haiti, which is pretty strange to me since I was only going for nine days.

But because of the strange looks I got, and because I'm a curious sort of person, I want to know: What makes someone decide to travel to places others wouldn't even consider? And if a long-term missionary or humanitarian were to happen along my blog, I would love to know what was the biggest factor in deciding to serve the people in a foreign country long-term?

Just look at the look on this sweet girl's face. I look at this and how
she's hugging that coloring book... melt my heart!!

Pushing Through the Pain of Change and Obstacles

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I knew that look. The one where my son looked down at his feet, refused to make eye contact with me. He became very quiet the minute the man in the pick-up truck delivered our bikes.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

Head nod.

"Are you nervous that your bike is a little bigger than they one you're used to?"

Another head nod.

Hmmm. "How about we just try it for a day? See how it goes. If it's truly too big, we'll trade it in for the smaller model."

"'Kay."

It was the same size bike Santa brought him for Christmas, but he still hadn't gotten enough courage to graduate to it. He liked his smaller bike. The one he was used to. The safe one. (And the one where his knees rode too high. He had outgrown it. I knew it. My husband knew it. Hence, the larger bike.)

Fast forward to later in the evening. We went for a short ride along the bike paths. My son didn't feel comfortable stretching his hands to the actual handles, so he steered the handlebars by holding the bar slightly in from the handles. It made him a little wobbly, but he was able to ride.

I was definitely nervous. But he did okay.

The next morning, my husband thought it would be a great idea to ride our bikes to get donuts. Everyone was excited. Well, except for my son.

I suggested we ride along the beach to our destination. That way we wouldn't have to cross through too much traffic. If he was still wobbly, he would only crash on the soft sand instead of concrete.

Ten minutes into the ride, I knew we were in for a long ride. My son struggled to push the pedals enough to keep the bike upright, riding against the wind. A frown firmly planted across his face.

Again, I asked, "What's wrong."

"Nothin."

We continued riding. Every once in awhile I circled around. Then it happened.

My son stopped the bike and lay his head on the handlebar. He was done. Spent.

"You're going to have to keep going."

"I can't."

"Yes. You can," I said in the most unsterstanding of voices I could muster.

You see, I knew where he was coming from. I know deflation - that feeling that you simply can't go on. That you're not capable of producing whatever it is someone is expecting of you, even when that someone is none other than yourself. I know what it feels like to think I'm not worthy. That I was crazy to ever think I could tackle some huge project.

I stared out into the ocean. Said a silent prayer. Looked back at my son. He raised his head, hopeful I would allow him to turn around and go back to the hotel. By now, his eyes were just a litttle moist, maybe from the wind blowing against his face.

"This is not a choice," I told him. "Put your feet on the pedals and push. I won't leave your side, but we will be having donuts for breakfast. You will thank me later."

He did as he was told, although I don't think he thought he would be thanking me later.

As we rode, and I stared mostly toward the ocean and a little at him, I admired his courage, his ability to swallow the tears and push through the pain of trying something new. Riding the bigger bike in the sand against the wind was a little more work than he wanted that morning.

But later, with our bellies full of donuts and milk (coffee for me), my son was all smiles. He pedaled more quickly on the return trip through the sand into the sun. The wind at our backs.

And though he never said it, I knew he was thankful. He pushed through the obstacles and tackled something bigger than he thought he was capable. His hands stretched out to the outer handles. He swerved and made designs in the sand. A bigger-than-life smile lit up his face and reached all the way to his bright blue eyes.

I could have allowed him to turn back that morning. That might have been easier. My heart wouldn't have hurt as much from the pain I saw on his face, but I knew he could do it. And what kind of mom would I have been if I had allowed him to quit? What would the lesson have been then?

Turning back is easy. Saying no to the change you know is coming is easy. Deciding not to push through the obstacles to reach your goals is easy. But there's also a lot less reward in that.

The Day I Was Embarrassed To Be a Short-Term Missionary in Haiti

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 11:00:00 +0000

I don't have a picture to stick at the top of this post, because ONE – I didn't take one and wouldn't have dreamed of doing so; and TWO – that would further the embarrassment I felt on Wednesday afternoon of my trip in Haiti. But the afternoon wasn't all bad.

Most days at 4 pm The Mission (main campus of Northwest Haiti Christian Mission) delivers food to the gran moun (elderly) within the community of St. Louis du Nord. These people are shut-ins The Mission has identified as a part of a feeding program. Short-term missionaries are invited to help with this, and after spending time with the gran moun who live on the main campus and for personal reasons deep within my own heart, I wanted to do this.

So, Wednesday afternoon, I, along with members of my group, met up with the staff who would lead us out into the community to serve. But for some reason, and I don't think this was supposed to happen, the group gathering to serve the gran moun this food grew to a large size I was not comfortable with. And it was too late to turn back by the time I realized it.

So there we went, parading through a community of Haitians, serving rice and beans from a bucket into bowls that the gran moun, themselves, provided. I was thankful to see these very thin, older ladies and gentleman receive food they desperately needed. But as I looked in front of me, and then behind me, at the line of Americans trailing through the streets of a community of unimaginable conditions, a hollow ball of nervousness formed in my stomach. I wanted to throw up.

I felt sick because I had unwillingly become a poverty tourist, exactly the reason there have been many articles as of late criticizing the efforts of short-term missionaries. I felt sick because I was not helping. I was NOT part of the solution. I was part of the problem.

It gets worse…

At about our third stop, a lady stepped out from her home, a tent of sorts made from tin and brown cloth. She explained to one of the Haitians with us that she had fallen a week or two ago. I could see the large knot (there's a medical term for this, but…) that had formed on her forehead. She told us that this knot had not gotten better, and you could see the fear on her face – the worry that something was terribly wrong.

Then, the unimaginable happened.

An American member of the group raised her arms and TOOK A PICTURE of this woman. If a hole had opened up in the ground before me, I would have jumped in.

Luckily, God had another plan. The Haitian translator passed a question back through the group, "Is there a medical person here?" And there was. A nurse.

She was able to ask the lady, through a translator, a series of questions that helped her diagnose the lady and put her worries to rest. You could see the tension of this elderly lady's face lift in her cheeks. She placed a hand on this nurse's arm and smiled. Her gratitude was expressed beyond words. She was beautiful.

My embarrassment, my sadness melted away. We prayed with this woman, and she smiled and thanked us as we continued on.

My desire to rip the camera from the arrogant American's hands and stomp on it was gone. In its place was a hope that American short-term missionaries could learn to see the little ways we can help, and to squash the ways we embarrass ourselves. Instead of a sick feeling of nausea, I was thankful for the nurse who joined us that day – who could put a smile and sense of relief across the face of a kind lady. I was thankful for God's ability to turn a bad situation to good.

I believe strongly that anyone who chooses to go on a trip of this sort does so with the best of intentions, even if those intentions are misdirected at times. But I also believe there is a need to make sure that these kinds of things don't happen. What can churches, short-term missionaries, long-term missionaries do to encourage proper behavior on short-term mission trips? Better pre-planning and post-trip evaluations? Some sort of training?

To Facebook or Not to Facebook, THAT is the Question

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:00:00 +0000

So, here's how my thought process goes sometimes.

I really want to start linking my blog posts to my Facebook account, but not all of my "friends" know I'm a writer.

Why am I keeping that a secret from some, and not others?

No idea, really. Some just stumbled upon it, while others didn't. It's just not something I put out there.

I wonder if I should start a Facebook "page." I mean I'll probably want to eventually, right? I mean that publisher who is just waiting for my novel to float across their desk like a dream come true will want me to have a Facebook page, right?

Still, I don't know. What if I'm a big flop? What if no one "likes" me?

I know, I'll ask my closest and dearest friends what they think.

Dear fellow tweeters: Should I have a Facebook "page," or is it too soon?

@aussiemamma says, "Yes. As a blogger, a page separate from my personal page is a must."

Okay, I'll check into it. Maybe I'll do it. Try it out. If I flop, I'll delete it. Easy, peasy.

Then a couple of tweeters expressed concern that it might be a little presumptuous to set up a "writer" page.

I almost agreed with this, mainly, I think, because I was uncomfortable with announcing to the world I'm a writer. Facebook is the whole world, you know.

But then I thought, "Really? Presumtuous? I'm a writer, right?" I mean I call myself exactly that right at the top of my blog.

@billycoffey says, "I think so. Online presence seems to be everything nowadays."

That's right. Social presense can be important. I chat it up quite often on Facebook. And I really want to put up my posts on Facebook, but not necessarily on my personal page. That might get annoying to those who just want to talk about "what's for dinner?" and "did your son's soccer team win the tournament over the weekend?"

Then, I thought, "Get over yourself. It's just a Facebook page. And it's another step on this journey you're so passionate about. Don't you want to take another step? It's one step you won't have to take later. And it just might be fun."

It's also another place where I can connect with other writers and readers. I have a lot of friends who never venture onto Twitter.

So, there it is. That's the thought process I went through last Friday before I got off my over-analyzing, time-killing butt and just did something.

What are you waiting for? If you're a writer, why haven't you started a Facebook page?

Oh, and I would really, really like it if you "liked" me right here. Or you can scroll down on the lefthand side of my blog and "like" me there. And if you have a Facebook page, please let me know in the comments just in case I've missed it. And it's a chance to let other commenters know you have a page. We can support each other.

To celebrate this new step along the path, I'm taking a poll on my page. Come answer a quick question. You know. For fun!

Short-term missioning: good or bad?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Short-term missionaries, sit up and take note. You are being criticized and judged.

I've read several articles recently that paint a less-than-flattering picture of Christians who travel on short-term mission trips.

These articles say:

Short-term missionaries (STMs) are nothing more than poverty tourists.
STM trips are selfish journeys in which Christians grow in one's own faith and not trips planned to benefit the people they're traveling to serve.
STMs are delusional if they think they can actually bring others closer to Jesus Christ in a week.

This article by Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, titled Are We Calling This a Win-Win? completely drives the colorful picture of a poverty tourist home. And I love this satire. It's funny and makes you think about a very real issue in a funny sort of way. She calls it being "cranky." I call it brilliant.

However, I think there are many, many, many short-term missionaries getting it right. There are many who truly travel on STM trips to:

Support the efforts of long-term missionaries.
Complete a well-planned project in a week to two weeks that truly helps people in that country – a vacation bible school, a construction project for an orphanage, a medical mission, etc.
Spread the love of Jesus Christ to people, from infant to the elderly, who otherwise receive very little love. (Yes, this sounds a little cheesy as I write it, but I've witnessed firsthand how children light up at the sight of American missionaries who hold them, love on them, blow bubbles with them, color with them. I've also held the hands of the elderly, who are otherwise forgotten in many ways in Haiti.)
Fall in love with countries and their people in order to come back home and share and raise money for future projects.

According to the book When Helping Hurts, there were 450,000 short-term missionaries in 1998, 1,000,000 in 2003, and 2,200,000 in 2006. I have no idea how that translates to 2010 or 2011, but I bet it's a lot. And that's a lot of missionaries that should be cognizant of their motives and their actions.

Millions of Christian missionaries traveling each year possess an incredible amount of potential to make a real difference to the people they serve. Are we even close to maximizing our impact?

Although there are many articles/blog posts out there that poke fun, criticize and judge people for using their vacation time to be the hands and feet of Jesus, I think this is a lot of people who have said, "God, use me. I'm going on this trip to serve you. Use me where you see fit." And if these people are sometimes missing their mark, maybe acting like nothing more than poverty tourists, then I say to them, "Wake up. Do better."

So, are we good or bad? Are traveling short-term missionaries doing something good? Or are short-term mission trips simply a strange way to take a vacation while growing in your own spirituality?

Writing Truth #3: Craft Also Rules. Like It or Not.

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Writing Truth #1: Writers must forge their own path and be true to who they are.

Writing Truth #2: Everything comes back to story. Story rules.

Which brings us to Writing Truth #3: Craft also rules. Like it or not.

Rules. Story structure. Plot. Characterization. Grammar. Spelling. Dialogue. Point of View. The ability to string words, sentences, paragraphs, and chapters together in such a way that a story worth reading is created. I get dizzy just considering all of the elements that go into building a sound novel.

On the Friday before I left for Haiti, I posted some thoughts on the latest trend toward self-publishing. I didn't get a chance to tweet much about it, so in case you missed it, I invite you to read that post and many of the opinions of others in the comments. There's some great information in the comments, also. I would love to continue the conversation on that post.

In light of that conversation, craft becomes an extremely important part of the process.
Although I'm not certain that self-publishing is in my future, I do know one thing for certain. You and I will not publish anything worth reading without an extensive knowledge of the craft. And once we do publish, we will not do ourselves any favors if we do not continue to study and perfect our own way of writing. We must study the latest trends and be willing to continuously perfect our methods, possibly even learn new techniques as trends constantly change (we are writing very differently now when compared to the tried and true classics of yesteryear).

But unlike Writing Truths #1 and #2, there's good news with Writing Truth #3. You can learn the craft of writing. You can study rules. You can practice the different techniques you wish to use in your stories. You can read books. You can peruse blogs. There is so much information out there just waiting for us to digest.

And you can break the rules, which is part of my reason for listing them as #3. I discuss my views on breaking the rules in Writing Truth #2: Story. It went something like this: You can't break the rules until you've studied and learned the rules.Two questions for you:

Do you agree that you can teach yourself to write?
Do you agree with my top three writing truths? Do you think they are in the wrong order? Would you replace any of them with something different?

A Little Bit of Business and The Gran Moun

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 09:00:00 +0000

I want to share an article I wrote for the Northwest Haiti Christian Mission (NWHCM)'s travel blog a couple of days after I arrived in Haiti. For those of you who are interested in my trip, there are some really cool details of what I was doing two days into the trip.

But before I get to the article, I thought I would point you to my updated schedule on the right hand side of my blog. I'm attempting to post more regularly about the things that are near and dear to me and how they apply to our everyday lives. Mostly what it means is nothing really will change regarding my Wednesday posts (they'll mostly relate to my writing life), but I'm adding an additional post on Monday, and might start posting random things on Friday. (Exactly what you were hoping for, right? Random jottings from me?). Once upon a time, I posted three days a week, but it proved to be very difficult during seasons of working the day job. So, as I often tell my kids… "We'll see."

Now to the article and some pictures…

Why Mission in Haiti? Why Not Kentucky?

Before traveling to Haiti, I was asked over and over, "Why Haiti? Why not mission in Kentucky?" That's a difficult question for me, and one I've thought about often since I boarded two different planes and endured a six-hour (three of which were extremely bumpy) bus ride to arrive at Northwest Haiti Christian Mission.

Today (Tuesday, July 5, 2011), some from our group visited the Gran Moun, a home for the elderly inside the Mission. We washed the feet of several, rubbed lotion into their dry leathery skin, and painted their nails – EVEN THE MEN. It was a lovely way to be the face of Jesus and simply love some of God's children that are often overlooked.

Check out his lipstick red nails!! This picture
makes me smile in a big way.

Also, we witnessed a group of four men and their very intense game of cards (a game called Three-Sevens, and although Marcus and I tried, we simply could not figure out the rules).

Check out their card table. These guys bickered
like brothers. I wanted to hug each of them.

These men were exactly what I picture happening in any elderly home in any country. The fact that this one is located in the poorest zone in the poorest country of this hemisphere was no different. They slammed a card down, rejoicing, when they knew they would win. They had words with each other when something didn't seem fair. These men were fun to watch.

While these men played their game, I, with the help of a translator, spoke with another gentleman, and as we rocked in the chairs and the island breeze did its best to cool us, he shared details of his family – his mother and father were long gone and he wasn't sure where any of his five children lived. His children didn't visit, he said, because it was too sad for them to see him and not be able to help him. He said, "They have nothing to give. It makes them sad to see me."

The gentleman said further, "You are my family." Not sure what that meant, I looked from him to the translator. He explained further. He was so thankful to all of the Americans who visited Haiti, for showing him love that his children weren't capable of, for whatever reason. He thanked God for us. He shared with me that he knows that God is good. I prayed with him, Kimberly washed his feet and Rosemary gave him lotion to rub in his hands.

This picture needs no caption.

After a full day of dancing and singing with malnourished children, ministering to their mothers, holding and loving on sweet orphans, delivering food to elderly outside the mission campus who cannot travel to the mission or afford any food, my thoughts continued to reflect on the gratefulness of one elderly man who ministered to me in many ways.

Why did our group travel to Haiti to mission? We traveled to Haiti to love more of God's children who are starving for attention as well as food. We traveled to Haiti to be missioned to (like the man from the mission), to live out God's plan for us. We traveled to Haiti to grow further in our faith and abilities according to God's will. Hopefully we will carry these things back to Kentucky.

Do you see missioning as something you do wherever you are - whether it's abroad, the state you live in, or even in your hometown? Have you ever traveled as a missionary? I would love to hear your story!!

back from Haiti...

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 13:00:00 +0000

This is a tap-tap, a very popular mode of
trasportation in and around Haiti.

Blogging and updating facebok turned out to be a little more difficult than I planned this past week-and-a-half. It was possible, but difficult, so I took advantage of the opportunity and unplugged.

Now that I'm back in the comfort of my home and the arms of my family, I'm struggling to come to terms with the enormous amount of culture shock from returning to the US. I thought I would be shocked by the sights, sounds and impoverished conditions I found when I arrived in Haiti. Instead of being shocked by Haiti, I'm more shocked by my thoughts and feelings upon re-entering the comforts of my own country. This is probably something you'll hear more from me in future posts.

For today, as I process everything I'm feeling about spending time in the poorest zone of the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, I thought I would share a bit of "humor" that a new friend of mine shared with me. I put the word "humor" in quotations because, frankly, the following rules, which are followed very closely by the drivers in Haiti, are not really funny at the time you experience a driver following them.

Driving rules found in the official Port-au-Prince "tourism guide":

1. Being stingy with one's use of the horn is as rude as it is unsafe. (My note: drivers in Haiti are constantly honking their horns. Constantly.)

2. Space in the city being limited, if two cars can slip in somewhere, there must be a way for a third one to fit in. (I didn't experience this, but I'm not surprised)

This is the bus we traveled in from
Port-Au Prince to St. Louis du Nord.

3. Priority is given to whoever is most in a hurry. In the event that two hurried cars meet, the larger of the two is given priority. (This is so true, and although funny to me now, it is terrifying at the time that you come face-to-face with a larger vehicles on your path. The bus ride form Port-au-Prince to St. Louis du Nord was one six-hour-long, giant game of chicken. I'm thankful I was in the back of the bus where I couldn't see everything as it was happening. I'm also thankful we didn't ever lose the game, nor did we hit any pedestrians on our path.)

4. When parking in town, designate someone to keep an eye on your car. (Again, not something I experienced.)

The bottome line regarding driving rules in Haiti is this:

THERE REALLY ARE NO RULES. There are no traffic signs - no road signs, no stop signs, no anything. Yet, people get around, and I never witnessed an accident.

The picture above is of a tap-tap. This is the most popular form of transportation in Haiti. This is Haiti's version of a taxi crossed with public transportation, and an extremely fun way to travel and see the sights. Although, as I think about it now, it's probably not the safest way to travel. To say the least.

So... What's going on? What's happening in your lives? What have I missed while I was away. The gentleman who stamped my passport in customs yesterday told me about the U.S.'s big win over Brazil in the Women's World Cup. That was exciting to hear. I also have been catching up on the Casey Anthony trial - CRAZY! And I hear that I missed some exciting news with publising awards being announced. So, please tell me what I've missed!

Are you willing to give your words away?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 13:55:00 +0000

I've read/watched a couple of things this week that has me all sorts of thinking about the idea of giving my words away. Would it be such a bad thing?

I'm supposed to be packing for the big trip to Haiti, and I will. It's all under control. Mostly. But I didn't want to wait all the way until I got back to ask this question that's on my mind.

You see, I just watched Michael Hyatt's very important interview with Seth Godin, and I'm dying to know what you think about the big important thing he said. I know. He said a lot of important stuff, but what did you think about the idea of a writer taking her first book and just sending it out? For free. Just put it out there. He said to send it to twenty friends and see what happens. Hopefully, they'll send it to twenty of their friends, which takes the readership to 400, and before you know it, 160,000 readers have your book. He might not have said it all exactly like that, but that was the implication, right?

Isn't that what's really happening already with some writers? You know the ones who are building a readership by self-publishing or e-publishing on Kindle? They're doing the work, then sticking their book out there for .99 or 1.99 or something very, very close to free to some people.

Now, we all know a lot of work goes into self-publishing. Hire your own editors. Have beta readers and a critique group and all that. All writers should be doing some of this anyway.

But what do you think about taking yourself out of obscurity (I believe that's how Mr. Godin put it). He said, "Obscurity is the enemy, not piracy." Actually, I think someone else said it originally, and you can watch the video to see who it was.

Now, if you read Rachelle Gardner's blog, you'll find a great post this week titled, "Will Self-Publishing Hurt My Chances?" I think the answer is very different than it was just two to three years ago. Maybe even one year ago.

Then today, Rachelle asked her readers the great question of "Money or Readers – What's more important?" You can go look at the responses, but you'll find many, many people who say readers are more important to them. Getting the written word out there is more important to many writers than being compensated for their time and effort. Huh. I don't know that I necessarily agree with that – you can go to Rachelle's post and see my response.

But I don't totally disagree either, because the written word can be a very powerful tool in our lives.

So, what am I asking?

This:

If getting the written word out there is important to you… If you hope to someday become a published author with readers… Would you be willing to self-publish? Are you willing to give your words away in order to become known? Is this the answer in this ever-changing, crazy world of publishing?

I'm so interested to hear what you think.

Haiti: Anxiety hits every time I plan a short-term mission. Is that different from any other huge undertaking?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 01:00:00 +0000

Before I get to the post, I thought I would tell you where my mission team is headed next week. We fly into Port-au-Prince. Then we will take a 6-8 hour (if we're lucky) bus ride to Saint-Louis du Nord (top of map). We will also travel to Tortuga (the island north of Saint-Louis do Nord) and a couple of other places.

Now to the post...

When I tell people I'm going to Haiti this summer, the most popular response I get, by far, is, "I've always wanted to do something like that." I can handle this response. I used to say to those people, "Well, then, you should." But lately my quick response has become, "If you ever want to talk about it, let me know. We can have coffee or wine or something and explore the idea."

I've been thinking and praying about a trip to Haiti for more than two years. Pre-earthquake. Pre-election-related-protests. Pre-Cholera epidemic. None of these snags that occurred since my decision go caused me to waiver in that decision. Not even for a second. And I have no idea why. I have just known for a long time I was meant to go on short-term missions. Not everyone is. That's why I think the people who are intrigued by the idea should talk about it with someone who is passionate about missions (maybe even me). Maybe they'll find that going on a short-term mission is exactly what they need/want and are called to do, or maybe they'll find that they're called to help in another way.

The second most popular response I've gotten when I bring up my trip is one I'm not so excited about. It's not so much the words, but the facial expression. It's the confusing scrunching of the eyes, the brow-furrowing, and the why-on-earth-would-you-go-there looks. It's like I'm being judged, which never sits well with me. Some people have gone as far as to voice their concerns. "You know it's hot there?" Well, yeah, it's hot in many places at one time or another, including Kentucky, which has experienced temperatures hotter than in Haiti already a few times this summer.

"You know they practice voodoo there?" Yes, and there are Americans, (Christians, even) with different practices and beliefs, but I'm not moving away from this country anytime soon.

When I hear people say things like this, I immediately wonder if their real concerns center around the filth, the sickness or the poverty. Maybe those things intimidate some people, because yes, those things exist in Haiti. But guess what? They exist in our beautiful country, too. Yes, they do.

No, I've never questioned my calling to travel to Haiti.

Until about a month ago…

I suddenly wondered, "What am I doing?" Why was I traveling to Haiti for eleven days? What could I possibly hope to accomplish in such a short amount of time? I wasn't excited about the trip at all, and it showed by my lack of preparedness, my choice to attend one of my children's soccer games over a very important planning meeting, and my general attitude toward the whole idea. I worried – I worried about being able to get ready in time, what my children would do while I was gone, if a dear, sick loved one would take a turn for the worst while I was away – I was worried about everything. By the way, worry is such an ugly emotion to get sucked into. No wonder God frowns upon it.

Now, with the trip less than a week away, I'm pretty excited (with a couple of minor exceptions) and hopeful about the trip. What changed? My preparedness!! For one, I finally found some skirts to wear while I was there. Have I told you that women must wear skirts that hit below the knees at all times in Haiti? I was seriously lacking in skirts that fit this bill, and as easy as it sounds to go off to Goodwill or Salvation Army or even retail shops and find skirts, it wasn't. Goodwill only had wool, winter, straight skirts. Not at all what I was looking for. (I did find an amazing dress for $5 that I wore out on a date with my hubby, though – cute, strapless number. Sorry, just thought I would share.) Anyway, the fact that I'm more prepared for the trip has helped my attitude tremendously.

The other thing that changed – God reminded me of my calling in my life. Hearing this calling is harder for some people (like me!!) than others. We are all called to do different things. To be different people. I know deep in my heart of hearts that I was called to go to Haiti for His specific reasons. You see, I know that God has enough love to reach every single one of us in this world. And maybe, just maybe, he'll use me to do a little piece of that for Him next week.

And that's the thing with short-term missions. Everyone I will share my time with in Haiti is called to be a different person, to do different things. Some people I'll travel with will hate Haiti and their experience there. Others will fall in love with a beautiful but poor country sitting adjacent to the Dominican Republic, a heavily traveled vacation hot spot. Some will grow tired of just how hot it is there and the lack of water for daily showers. Others will thrive in tough conditions. I don't know what my group and I will face. That's part of the excitement for me.

But isn't that the deal with most things in life? We are all called to do different things, be different people. That's what makes this world so amazing and interesting. Some people are called to be traveling missionaries, some are called to do other important work.

Whatever our calling, when we face hardships, poor conditions, and major obstacles we grow. That's in every walk of life. Attempting the life of a writer is no picnic either. But as above, with the right preparedness and hearing God's whispers in our lives, we grow. Maybe even thrive.

And even though I am already facing some anxiety this week before I travel, I know that God will take care of me and the people I'm worried about.

So, what huge undertakings have you taken on lately? Have you hit bumps in the road or been attacked with anxieties?

Note: For those of you who are interested in hearing little snippets of my trip (next week), I'm planning to post Facebook statuses when I am able. I also hope to post something here on the blog. I've even set up a Flickr account to upload pictures I take. You can find my new Flickr page on my contact page or simply follow this link. Of course, I could face technology glitches next week. If that happens, I'll be sure to tell you all about my trip when I return.

The Writer’s Block Myth, Slavery and the Overwhelming World of Social Media

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:57:00 +0000

There are some mornings when I wake up with a plan (Plan A) – to quickly throw up a blog post about either 1) Writer's Block (which I don't believe in) OR 2) Are we letting social media take over our lives? – But then I realize, "Whoa, hold on. I'm not that kind of person."

I'm not that capable of throwing up a well-written blog post without a lot, a lot of inspiration. I like to ponder the subject, write, and then let it stew for a while before I cast it out into the world. So, instead, I went to Plan B.

First, I read my daily devotion in preparation of my trip to Haiti (which, by the way, is barreling down on me like the CRH380A, the fastest train in the world and is based out of China). Don't ask me how I know that. Knowing facts like that could be the reason I'm so unbelievably distracted and overwhelmed today.

Second, I scanned my Google Reader and stumbled upon a post by Katie Ganshert about Living Free – Not living in bondage to the many luxuries in this life. This post went along nicely with my morning devotion about what poverty really means to me. You should read Katie's post. It's wonderful.

Third, I found Jody Hedlund's morning post titled, "How much time should writers devote to social media?" Ahhh. Plan A just might come together after all. Jody did a wonderful job of starting a discussion about how much time writers should devote to social media keeping in mind the need for marketing and where you are on your journey toward publication.

After my post about Goodreads a couple of weeks ago, this subject had weighed on me a little. When asked if you were using Goodreads, many of you responded with an, "Oh, no. Not another social networking site. I can't keep up." Well, I think we all have those feelings at one time or another, and I think we have reel that in and realize that, maybe, how we use any of the social networking tools depends on where we are on this path to publication. Or simply, maybe it's a question of where we are on the road in life.

We can't be a slave to social networking any more than we should be a slave to beauty, our job, writing, money, exercise... But only you… Only I can know when to say, "No more." Or, "It's time to step back and realign our priorities."

Fourth, I decided to just start writing. Sometimes when I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the prospect of where to start, I just start writing, and miraculously, I find my voice. I find I do have something to say. I find that I can accomplish something, even if it's a very jumbled post about… I'm not sure what. But either way, when I just sit my butt down and start clicking on the keyboard, I find that it's true. Writer's block is a myth.

That Will Never Work

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 13:10:00 +0000

So, yesterday, my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. And he brought me flowers. (I know, SQUEEEE!) The picture above is where I'm working this morning. It's a little dark, but can you see the pretty flowers dear husband brought me. (I know, SQUEEEE again!)

Now my husband is not one to second guess a decision he makes. He decides. Done. If it was a mistake, he learns from it, but moves on. Game over. (I know what you're thinking. I'm not like that either. I like to beat myself up a little and wish I could turn back the clock just a little. Then move on. Maybe.)

Anyway, he seemed a little unsure of the decision he made about the flowers yesterday. He asked me a couple of times if I was happy with the flowers. And it wasn't because of my reaction. I promise I SQUEEEED when I saw them. I LOVE the flowers. They're all of my favorite flowers mixed into one pretty bouquet. And who doesn't like getting flowers on their anniversary?

After the third time he asked me if I really liked the flowers, I asked him, "What's up? Of course I like the flowers. Why wouldn't I?"

"Funny thing," he said. "When I told the florist I what I wanted, she told me that that would never work."

The florist told him that daisy's simply don't go with roses and lilies. "What?!!!???! Why the... not?" I mean I love lilies the very most. Who doesn't like roses, right? And daisies? They're like the happiest flowers EVER. They go with everything.

Now, not everyone will like my flower choices. But who is that florist to say that my favorite flowers won't work well together.

That would be like saying that a writer couldn't mix first person POV with third person POV in a single book. I've seen it done, and it worked fabulously.

Or that a writer should never use flashbacks in just about every scene of a book. That would never work, right? Wrong. Seen it done, and it worked fine.

Did you know that The Help was rejected fifty-nine times before an agent fell in love with Kathryn Stockett's writing? She was told over and over, this won't sell. The story doesn't work. Guess what? It worked just fine.

Lesson for me and you? Don't be afraid to try new things. To mix what we know with something different. To think outside the box. In other words, don't be afraid to fail. Predicted failures could be what lands one of us on the bestseller lists.

I'm glad my husband didn't listen when the florist told him, "That will never work." Would you have listened? Or would you have forged ahead?

Have you read or tried anything recently that was different or risky? That maybe deviated from the rules we try so hard to stick to? Did it work? Or did it come up short?

What are your thoughts on Goodreads?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 11:30:00 +0000

I'd like to discuss your thoughts on Goodreads today. When I asked who was using this social networking site last week on Twitter, the usual suspects replied. I know some of my friends are using Goodreads, while others aren't sure what it is.

According to their website, "Goodreads is the largest social network for readers in the world. We have more than 5,100,000 members who have added more than 160,000,000 books to their shelves. A place for casual readers and bona-fide bookworms alike, Goodreads members recommend books, compare what they are reading, keep track of what they've read and would like to read, form book clubs and much more." You can check out more on their "About Us" page here.

I have not been using Goodreads very long, and I still don't actively use it the way I think I can. To make matters more complicated – as an aspiring writer – I'm not even sure how I should be using it.

Here's what I do know about Goodreads:

You can track what books you read/are currently reading/have read.
You can include a rating and/or review of those books.
As an author, you can have an author page that lists the books by you, plus a bio and a little more info.
Other readers/writers/friends can read your reviews and comment on those, therefore, at times, starting a discussion. (This can depend on your privacy settings.) A great way to discuss books with others who share your passion with certain books/authors.
You can organize/join groups and book clubs, making it even more fun to discuss books with others.
You can link your blog directly to Goodreads.
You can link your Facebook page, Twitter page, and other social networking sites directly to Goodreads.

Now that you know what Goodreads is… here are my questions and my observations about how some of us are using Goodreads.

Like I said, I just started using Goodreads, and lately I've been doing some YA research, so I've listed the YA books I've read in the last couple of months on my page here. But I haven't "rated" many of them, and I haven't reviewed any of them. Why not? Because when I started to, it became complicated. Right or wrong, I started having these questions in my mind as to whether what I was about to say on this site would fit into my online platform. Should I care whether it does? I'm afraid I might be over-thinking this subject, which would not be out-of-character at all for me.

I've visited some author pages on Goodreads to see how they are using the site, and it's pretty scattered. Some list books, but I suspect not everything they're reading, but I have no way of knowing that. Some authors list books they've given a five-star rating to. Some have a page with only their own books listed.

Anyone up for a discussion today (or tomorrow or the next day)? I'll be around and would love to know your thoughts.

Are you using Goodreads?

How are you using Goodreads? Do you actively discuss books with friends? Or even with authors of their own books? Do you list every book you read? Or is there a strategy to what you share?

If you're a published author, have you engaged with readers on Goodreads? Have you found Goodreads a helpful extension to your online presense?

How can we be using Goodreads that I haven't mentioned?

What do you think?

Writing Truth #2 – It All Comes Back to Story

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 25 May 2011 11:55:00 +0000

Let's review…

Writing Truth #1 (for me): Writers must forge their own path and be true to who they are.

I typically write these blog posts as pep talks to myself. Today's post is no different. Because once I realized that I did, in fact, want to be a writer and that I was in it for the long haul, I realized that I had to implement a few rules into that life in order to persevere through the tough times and the disappointments. AND through the times when I felt like I stunk so bad I wondered what kind of idiot (me) thought she could do this in the first place. Because let's face it. It is hard, right? Can I get an Amen?

Which brings me to Writing Truth #2: Everything comes back to story. Story rules.

Whenever I'm struggling, I remind myself what's important. And I don't mean in a larger-than-life, God-is-all-encompassing scale. I just mean that sometimes when we set goals for ourselves, we must remember what will keep us persevering toward a particular goal?

For me, it's story. For most difficult questions and issues that come up, I always come back to story. Is the story good enough? Can I break in to publishing with this story?
I've come up with some examples:

1. Time Constraints

If I only have about two hours each day in a given week to write, should I spend it on Twitter, Facebook, and other Social Networking sites? Should I visit all of my friends' blogs? Should I keep my own blogging schedule? Should I use the time to hammer out my thousand words or work on some plotting and outlining issues?

Now, for those of you who are in a different place than me, you might answer the above differently. But for me, unpublished and in need of another finished manuscript, it's a no brainer. Story. My main focus needs to be on my story. Without a story, I've got nothin'!

Now, usually, I find time to blog at least once a week, and I do find importance (sanity) in staying in touch with other bloggers, tweeters, etc. I also usually find time to read books and blogs. But when time is short, I remind myself what my ultimate goal is. And if I'm not writing, all the other writing-related-stuff will have to wait for when I don't have the time constraints.

2. Rule-Breaking

I read a lot of posts around blogosphere about breaking the rules with regards to novel-writing. Should we break the rules? What rules can we break? When/how do we know if we've broken the rules acceptably? Blah, blah, blah. I'm giving credit for my view on rule-breaking to Kristen Lamb, who said something like this: In order to break the rules effectively and successfully, you must know the rules in the first place.

So, while I believe there is a time and place for rule-breaking, I do believe we must study and know the rules before we start breaking them. And even then… Even then, it comes back to story. Our stories rule whether the broken rule will work or even should be done in the first place.

3. Whether To Publish Traditionally, E-Publish, or Self-Publish (or a combination of those)

Story!!!

We're not going to get an agent, if we don't have a great, well-told story.

We shouldn't even think about Self-Publishing or Self-E-Publishing unless we have a great, well-told story.

There are so many blog posts on this subject out there, but my view on this subject is this: Above all else, story is what matters. It will always come back to story and how we tell it. A story should not be published ever by any means until it is well-thought-out, edited and rewritten, and edited some more.

Can you think of other difficult questions out there in the publishing world? I bet I can answer most of them with… It all comes back to story. I can even think of books that have been published and reached major success because of story. They might not have been the most beautifully written. They broke all kinds of rules. Before they were published, most publishers wouldn't touch them because they couldn't figure out which shelf at the bookstore to place it. But guess what? It all came back to story. And if you've got a good story… well…

Writing Truth #1

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Tue, 17 May 2011 09:00:00 +0000

Do you ever get the feeling that some writers come out of the womb ready to write? You might even be one of these writer, because I do believe they exist. Their life goes something like this: I've known I wanted to be a writer since I was like two-years-old or something. So, when I was twelve, I wrote my first novel. I queried. And now I'm a NY Times Bestseller, and I'm currently writing my sixteenth novel. I'm twenty-five.

That's not my story. I didn't know I wanted to be a writer until about three years ago. I haven't been writing all of my life, unless you count responses to notices from the IRS, which I started writing when I was six months old or something. (Not really! :))

There are people who know from an early age that they are meant to write. My daughter is one of those people. My brother is one of those people, although he has chosen to be a mighty-good attorney. I bought him James Scott Bell's Plot & Structure for Christmas nonetheless. Let me just say, if you're ever in the need for new material for a book, go sit in a court room for a while. He'll be a published writer eventually because he's definitely one of those who knew he wanted to be a writer since two-years-old and he was born a storyteller. But I digress...

No, writing novels is fairly new to me. I feel like I've been at it forever, but in actuallity, I haven't. Writing and publishing a novel is a long process. Learning to write a novel is a long process. Yes, some people achieve instant success, but that is not the norm. (It's not the norm, Stephenie Meyer fans. I promise this one thing if nothing else.)

All of this brings me to Writing Truth #1 - Writers must forge their own path and be true to who they are.

Each writer's journey is unique to him or her. We all know this, right? But do we really remember this when we see some incredible write-up in Publisher's Marketplace? Or when we see someone's amazing blog post of landing her dream agent? Or scoring a three-book deal? Of course, we all have moments of envy. We're human.

But all of our paths are different. And what we bring to the journey is different. And the many ways we arrive at our destination - all different!!

Let's celebrate our differences. I have three questions for you today.

What genre do you write?
Have you always written in that genre, or have you switched it up along the way?
Are you an outliner or a seat-of-your-pants writer?

Are You In Control of Your Own Publishing Destiny?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 04 May 2011 09:00:00 +0000

When I first began this journey into the publishing world, I felt in control of everything. I was three simple steps away from seeing my name on the cover of a book. Write book, query book, publish book. Right? I am in charge of my own dreams and destiny and all that.

Okay, I was not that naïve about the process, but I did venture onto the path without a clue as to how it all worked. I was one hundred percent positive "it can't be that hard." I mean, I had a fabulous idea that was sure to woo every agent and publisher. That's all that mattered at the time, because I was in control.

I think we all come into this publishing world full of hope and promise for a bright future, but then we get this lesson in just how big the world really is and that we are this tiny speck in it. We can pour our heart, our prayers, and our sweat into our words, hoping against all odds that we are creating that break-out novel that's going to make our critique partners, our spouses and our friends beg us to pursue publication.

Then what?

Then we pour our heart, our sweat, and prayers into a query or a proposal we are sure will land in the right hands. And then we wait.

And wait.

Maybe we get a nibble or two.

Then we wait.

There are some constants among writers – low self-esteem from time to time, self-doubt, the desire to see our writing in print, the desire to have more time to write – and write what we want to write.

In my last post, titled "I Didn't Come To Win, I Came To Surf," I talked about the struggle many writers have in knowing exactly why we write and whether that motivation can sustain us on this difficult journey. In addition to learning why we write, I think we must learn which aspects of the publishing industry we can control, and which we can't. And once we know we can't control certain facets, do we still have the motivation to push through the ones we can?

So, I've come up with a list of the things that we cannot control in this industry and a list of the ones we can. Feel free to tell me in the comments if you agree/disagree with my list and if you can think of others. I don't know about you, but just thinking about this list helps me to surrender the items that I have no control over, and when we let go of those things we are free to persevere through the hard work we have control over.

LIST 1: Things we cannot control:

If/when an agent/editor will read/like our work and ask for more.

If/when an agent/editor will offer any reason as to why he/she is passing on our work.

If an agent will respond at all to our query.

If a particular story will be THE ONE we break into the publishing world with.

How long it takes for our perfect story to make an impression on an agent or editor.

LIST 2: Things we have control over:

Writing the very best story we can possibly write.

Learning/studying the craft continuously. Never stop.

Rewriting, editing and polishing our very best story.

Writing the best query or proposal we can possibly write.

Which genre to focus our energy on. We give up some of this control once we're published, so spend pre-published time making sure you're in the genre you hope to write many books in.

Social networking. We have the ability to learn the many aspects of social networking and ways to market ourselves before we ever get that special call from an agent or an editor.We should take advantage of that time to try different things and really learn what works and what doesn't.

Taking advantage of critique partners and other outside help as we strive to improve. Editing others while having your own work edited can be an invaluable lesson in learning the craft.

Writing ANOTHER best story we can possibly write. Never stop writing. The waiting and the worry get easier when you give up on the things you can't control and concentrate on the ones you can.

As I reread the items I absolutely have no control over I realize that I have worried about each and every one of the items on that list at some point. And I'm positive there are other points we could add to each of the lists. The point is that we must give up that power that LIST 1 has over us. Giving that list any power at all can cripple us and prevent us from moving forward.

The publishing world is a great big place with life-changing decisions and mind-blowing opportunities for some. But if we are really in this world of writing to write, shouldn't we be aware of what we can control and squash those that we can't? Why waste time and energy on things we cannot and never will control?

I can control the choices I make. I can control the effort and energy I put into every aspect of my writing career. I can control the stories I create and the work I'm willing to do to persevere.

So, if we're in control of writing the very best story we can write and learning the craft to the best of our ability, then aren't we, in many ways, in control of our own publishing destiny?

“I Didn’t Come To Win, I Came To Surf”

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 09:00:00 +0000

To celebrate the end of tax season over the weekend I took my family to the movies and to dinner. We saw the much talked about movie, Soul Surfer, the incredible and inspiring story of Bethany Hamilton's courage and faith-driven fight to become a professional surfer even after having her arm bitten off by a shark. Incredible movie that everyone should see.

It took me a few days to process all the different ways this movie affected me. The faith element was incredible. The setting was beautiful. Bethany's unbelievable determination to surf again so soon after the shark attack blew me away. I think anyone with a dream can relate to the inspirational message of Bethany's perseverance, but as a writer, the message went even deeper for me.

The movie's website defines Soul Surfer as follows: A term coined in the 1970's, used to describe a talented surfer who surfs for the sheer pleasure of it. Although they may still enter competitions, a Soul Surfer's motives go way beyond winning.

People are motivated to write for many reasons. Some writers are storytellers, so they write to entertain. Some want to quiet the characters whispering in their heads. Some have a message to deliver. Some write to teach. Creative outlet. Money. Fame. A calling.

As we develop a tough skin on this journey, the answer to the question of why we write is an important one. That answer can be the very reason we don't eventually give up. It can be the reason we push through a tough critique, rejection after rejection, failing to final in a contest, bad reviews. Need I go on?

I think every writer hits a dead-end in the road to publication at some point on their journey. He can go right and continue uphill, or he can go left, downhill until he fizzles out. This sounds like an easy choice for the writers who are solid in their reason for writing. But for those who are uncertain as to the true reason they write, choosing to glide downhill or to stop at the dead-end might seem like the best choice for him. And he might even have a good reason for giving up on the dream.

I feel fairly certain that no one would have blamed Bethany Hamilton if she had decided to stop surfing all together after losing an arm. I'm willing to bet that most expected her to at the very least stop competing. But Bethany had motives that went far beyond the desire to win competitions.

I have hit that dead-end in the road many times before. It's usually during my busy work season when I wonder if I can continue to work, run a family and a household, and write. And when I hit this "T," I must step back and reevaluate why I started on the journey in the first place. Is it in my and my family's best interest to continue – to turn right and uphill – further on the path?

Can my motivation go a long way toward sustaining me as a writer? Will the reason I write allow me to persevere? And based on the quote from the movie (above), do I come to my computer to win, or do I come to write?

Does the reason you write sustain you through the bumps in the road? Are you motivated way beyond the rejections and tough critiques?

Post-April 18th To-Do List and Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 09:00:00 +0000

This blog post is about my post-April 15^th To-Do List, which actually turned into the post-April 18^th To-Do list thanks to Washington D.C. deciding to celebrate Emancipation Day on April 15 this year. (Don't even get me started on the whole three-day grace period that many viewed as a gift from God to drag out the tax filing deadline all because of this Emancipation Day. I've had to look up this "holiday" four times now, and as soon as I close Wikipedia, I forget again exactly what it is. And don't bother telling me I'm unpatriotic. That's not the case. I just like tax season ending on April 15.)

Moving on…

On my Welcome page, I say, "This blog is about my journey through faith to discover my purpose as a writer…" I wrote that a while ago, but as I was reviewing my blog over the weekend, I realized that those words are still as true today as they were the day I wrote them. Sometimes we have to back up in life and examine our motives and the purpose we are called to fulfill. To remind ourselves, "What exactly are we doing and why?"

I don't know if it's the fact that my schedule is going to free up just slightly in less than a week or if it's the warmer weather (probably both!), but I am elated at the prospect of having more time to do stuff starting next Tuesday. And it's funny. I always think I'm going to have all this amazing spare time to get this stuff done. Then reality hits and my list of stuff is much greater than the time I have.

So, I made a list - a list of things on my mind. Lists are good for organizing thoughts, making a plan of action or just simply reminding ourselves what's important to reach a certain goal.

Finish reading Writing Fiction for All You're Worth by James Scott Bell. I started it over the weekend because I was hit with a disappointment as a writer, and I thought what better way to say "NO!" to self-doubt and a low self-esteem than to immerse myself in the words of James Scott Bell who always encourages writers to believe that they can learn to be the writers they are meant to be. Early in the book he says, "You are responsible for designing your own writing improvement program. One that never ends." For me, part of that "writing plan" starts with reevaluating goals and expectations I have for my writing, and being honest with myself about where I am currently on this journey. What are the things I need to work on most?

Reorganize my Google reader. Can I just say that my reader says I have 1000+ unread items? I have no idea what "+" means, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. The blogs I read are loosely organized right now, but obviously I haven't been visiting them all directly from the reader during this busy time. I would love to know your suggestions on this. How do you organize your blogs? Do you use Google reader or something else?

Write.I've allowed a story to brew all tax season. I've plotted and dreamed of my characters. I can't wait to put these characters into some tricky situations and see what they do.

Clean my refrigerator. And every other surface of my house. Spring cleaning is the best job when your mind needs to churn a plot issue around. So, my plan is to write, then break to clean a toilet. Or the windows. Whatever mindless job it takes to escape deep into my imaginary world while still accomplishing something.

Take typhoid pills. I'm travelling to Haiti in July, and although I received the recommended vaccinations back in January, I still haven't taken the typhoid pills. I've heard they're not easy on the stomach, so I didn't want to take them during the height of tax season. Yes, I know this has nothing to do with my writing to-do list, but I've been known to forget important tasks while I'm immerced into a story.

Exercise. I try to stay in shape during tax season, but… well… enough on that subject.

Reorganize my TweetDeck columns. One of the quickest ways to discover the blog posts you need to read is to jump on Twitter. Catch up with some friends and see what's being Tweeted about. I've discovered some great new bloggers this way, and it really is a fast way to find out writing news. If anyone has figured out a super effective way to organize TweetDeck, please share or send me an email.

Write. Blog. Both with more discipline. Do you set time-limits to blogging and social networking? This can depend on where you are on your publishing path, but for me, unpublished, most of my time should be devoted to novel-writing. I plan to develop better discipline when it comes to Blogging and social networking (Facebook, Twitter), and hopefully this will carry over into becoming a more disciplined writer.

Decide on writing goals. Daily word counts. I've always been a morning writer, but my day job has changed a little, and I need to add some evening writing to my schedule in order to succeed at any of this.

Read. This is not last on my list because of lack of importance. It's last on my list because I thought of it last. I don't typically need to place "Read" on my to-do list. Reading is like brushing my teeth and showering. I do both of these every single day as part of that routine I don't really need to think about. (Most of the time anyway.) This is also on the list because I'm in need of reading as much for research as for pleasure. I'm currenlty working on a list of "research," aka my summer reading list.

So, there you have it. These are some of the items I'm thinking about right now as I ponder what's next in my writing life. I threw in exercise, cleaning and typhoid pills just to remind myself, and you if you need it, that even though writing is important in our lives, we have to pick and choose what we'll give up to make time for it. I know some will give up exercise and cleaning, but I'm a much better writer and a much better wife and mom when I keep both of those items in the mix. And the typhoid pills? Some things just have to be done.

Back on my Welcome page, I go further to say, "So, grab a cup of coffee and join in the discussion." I would love to hear from you today. Any thoughts? Are you the type that makes list or goals? Where are you in your journey these days?

I'm a Blogging Failure - But Spring Is Here!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Sunseri) — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 12:14:00 +0000

I'm a blogging failure this time of year. And I know it. I say to myself every Friday or so, "You should really try to get a blog post ready over the weekend so that you don't stress about posting on Wednesday." And then the weekend comes, and I work most of the day Saturday this time of year. Usually, I leave work in a mad dash to make one of my children's soccer games.

Then there's Sunday. If I could just squeeze in some time to write a quick blog post between church, grocery shopping and an afternoon soccer game. But it doesn't happen. My mind is usually so tired from thinking so hard Monday through Saturday, that I welcome a day of doing other things that don't require thinking - like toilet bowl cleaning and folding socks.

This is my long version of an apology for not being around more. I hope you'll forgive me. Better yet, come find me on Twitter (look to the right margin!). I pop in and out of discussions throughout most days there.

For today, I'll leave you with a link to a post I wrote early on in this blog about the Spring Season of Our Soul. In this post I describe what it's like to enter a spring season of life and faith that corresponds with our writing life at times. To feel renewed and energized. I'm willing to bet that there are others that don't necessarily feel spring renewal with the change of the calendar, but maybe their spring is during another time of the year.

But for me, I'm ending an extremely busy time of life right about the time winter is blown away with spring storms. It's been a long, difficult winter of gray skies and cold temperatures. I crave the sunlight and the scent of newly forming flowers. Toward the end of tax season, a calming force takes over for me. The story I've been thinking about and plotting all winter starts to take form. I'm eager to sit down and let words pour out of me.

From my post, "In spring, the dark is flooded with light. Life springs out of barreness. Springtime of the heart brings emotional, physical and spiritual renewal." So, although I'm a blogging failure, it's spring - a time for renewal and awakening. So, wake up! And Happy Spring, everybody! If I don't see you here next week, I'll be here the following week doing a happy jig!

"And God said, 'Let there be light.' And there was light." Genesis 1:3

UPDATE: After you've read this post, march right over to Susan Dimickele's blog "Lawyer Mommy" and read her post titled "Why I Don't Do Social Media Guilt." Her post was exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you, Susan!