Maranatha!

You cannot take it with you!

2011-12-17T07:11:00.001-08:00

Why are things so important? Why is it when someone dies, family has the tendency to forget the loved one who died and focus on grasping all their possessions? Is it a misguided attempt to foster familiarity with the deceased, or is it just pure greed?

The bible tells us to store up treasures in heaven because there nothing, not even death can take it from you. The treasures spoken of are doing the will of God. If we are to give the coat off our back for strangers, what more should we do for family?

The bible is clear that money, wealth and accumulation of possessions are the root of evil, and rich men have a hard road to heaven; so why become bitter and greedy and destroy relationships over things that perish?

The evil in the world is palpable and the greed is devouring people's souls to the point that family would rather have belongings than lasting relationships with their family.

Memories are the only thing left when a loved one passes. I treasure mine. I actually have nothing of my grandparents but they taught me valuable lessons and skills and I will always have a bond with them that supersedes death. That is more than enough.

Peace will never be found in bitterness, unforgiveness, or greed.

Those three have been linked to cancer and other fatal illnesses. I wonder if that's because they eat a person inside out.

My cuteypie

2011-12-13T18:15:00.001-08:00

Here are some pictures of my sweetheart and I !

Let the dead bury the dead

2011-12-13T13:00:00.001-08:00

In Matthew 8:22, Jesus says to follow him and let the dead bury the dead. I always thought this was kind of a mean statement. The guy wanted to bury his dad. Further investigation shows us that dad wasn't dead yet. The potential disciple wanted to wait until that time.

Time isn't promised. There is no allotment of time that is equal to men.
Why put off what you need to do; it may never be done.

There are all these healings and miracles, and great love shown in the bible; looking around today I see such hatefulness, so much hurt, so much anger, so much sadness. Jesus is the joy maker, the blessing bringer, the comfort when every one else leaves you. The restorer of light.

My journey has been not without trial and i have lost friends, family, dare I say it, mentors even in the course of following Him; but I'm never without love, never without protection, and even when I can't see my feet; he always can. It's Him that holds me when I cry, and Him who brings such peace.

The bible says to expect evil to increase in these last days and we see it all around us; it doesn't even seek the shadows anymore.

But God...He sent Jesus and He can drive away darkness and despair and He can do anything as long as we believe.

Evil can be right on our doorstep and if we will pray for those who do the kind of things most of us don't have the capacity to forgive, God will work wonders. I know our source of strength is Jesus. And we don't have to fight battles because the Lord in His goodness will fight and go before us because we surrendered our fight to him long ago.

What that potential disciple didn't know was how much he'd gain if he'd just trust Jesus.

What about you? Are you tired of fighting the darkness alone? Do you wish someone was with you who would love and accept you no matter what? Do you need a champion, a healer, a miracle worker?

Jesus is all those things and so much more. If you don't know him,write me and I'd be glad to introduce you. He is the best present I ever opened.

By yourself

2011-12-09T13:02:00.001-08:00

I am finding more and more that you are alone in this world. Why yes, we have Jesus always, but you had better be able to be physically and emotionally alone.

The people you believe will always have your back, and will always love don't. I'm sorry if that offends you, but the truth isn't pretty. Life is truly "I'm with you until something better comes along.". This applies to all, including family.

Guess that's why we need Jesus...amongst numerous other reasons.

Maybe that's why we should work on ourselves most doggedly and not worry what the other is doing. That way when they walk out our lives it won't hurt as much.

God takes everyone out of your life that you run to before Him. Be careful of whom is your pacifier..it may be taken before you are ready.

Lost and in our own way

2011-12-06T13:06:00.001-08:00

For about a year now, there has been a distaste in my mouth and spirit upon entering a church. The focus is on building bigger buildings, buy these DVDs, buy this and buy that; and the focus of the gospel is lost.

In these days and hours, when we should be as our King, we are caught up in money and more, more, more. If the Lord stopped in our churches, would we even speak to Him? What would He appear as? Would He be as Pharisee-like as some of us? Or would He appear as a homeless man, or poorly dressed woman? Would we speak?

What happened to God's love? The greatest gift of the Spirit seems in such short supply. After everything else is gone, it along with faith and hope will remain.

As Christ's hands and hearts on Earth, why aren't we sharing His love?

It's not about membership, not about buildings or money for He has that, it's about people's souls and the bone-deep need to be loved.

When we walk our daily walk let us look for ways to love the world the way Jesus does. He loved the people we gossip about and judge. He loves that boss you hate, that man who stole from you, that lady who lied....yes His love is boundless and our job is to allow Him to live through us no matter what.

We are neglecting His first love.

Let us strive to love not only one another but those who do not yet know Him. Sometimes I think we do not have because we don't love. May we all receive the passion to love the lost!

Teriyaki chicken cabbage cups

2011-12-05T15:30:00.001-08:00

What do I need?

1lb ground chicken
1/2 head of cabbage leaves separated
2 small onions chopped
1 zucchini chopped
Teriyaki sauce
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup arborio or "regular" rice
1 pat butter
A few slivered almonds
Red pepper flakes, black pepper to taste

Sauté chicken in oil if doesn't have enough fat. Throw in onion and zucchini and spices. Steam your caabage leaves and prepare rice separately.
When sauté is complete, combine the rice with it and mix in the butter and top with almonds.

Serve mixture in cabbage cups.

Nutrition:

515 calories
20g fat(if use oil, other wise 4g)
46g carb
26g protein

A little higher than I'd like, but delete the oil, and fat goes down and calories become 430.

Will He not do it again?

2011-12-05T13:07:00.001-08:00

I'm one of those bizarre people that actually loves the books of the bible that speak of the old prophets. Books like Jeremiah stir something up inside me, especially of late so I thought I'd be posting thoughts about Jeremiah 29, that God holds your future; while it may be dim to you, He has great and awesome plans.

Great thought, huh? But He led me to Psalms instead. Check this out:
"I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted."
"I remembered you o God and I groaned;I mused and my spirit grew faint.". Psalms 77:1-3

How many times have you felt this way? I know problems in my life and my heart seem to overwhelm me at times; seem to almost try to drown me and the nights we can't hear God because our own minds are to loud; or for whatever reason he does not speak; those are daunting, saddening times.

Times we just want to reach out and grab ahold of Jesus, times we never want to let go and yet we feel like He is not there...you are speaking to a wall.

What do we do?

The writer of this psalm encouraged himself with the knowledge that God had blessed him before and surely He would continue.

"Will the Lord reject forever? Will He never show His favor again? Has His unfailing love vanished forever? Has His promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has He in His anger withheld his compassion?"
"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes I will remember your miracles of long ago and think on all your works and consider your deeds. Your ways are holy and what God is as great as ours?"

Jesus says that God says we are His children. Would you not provide for your babies? Even in anger, your heart is tender towards them. In Matthew 7 it says, "which of you,if his son asks for bread,will you give him a stone?". Or if he asks for a fish, will you give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, give good gifts to your children, how much MORE will your Father in Heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him! So in everything do to others what you want them to do for you."

Ask Him! If you hear nothing, beat the Heavens down...He will answer.

Recipe of the day--Tandoori chicken cabbage cups

2011-12-04T15:59:00.001-08:00

No picture today, but this was amazing! Inspired by a recipe I saw at the grocery store using lettuce leaves and teriyaki sauce.

What you need:
Chicken breast or ground chicken 1 lb
Red pepper flakes to taste
Salt and pepper to taste
Olive oil 1 tbl
Tandoori powder
Cabbage leaves
Onion, 1/2

Use the oil to sauté your chicken and throw in the onion and spices as the chicken cooks. Steam your cabbage leaves separately until tender but not wilted.

Once your mixture and cabbage are ready, spoon the mixture into the leaves. Low carb eating and YUM!

Tummy is happy and so is the scale!

Right time and place

2011-12-04T09:45:00.001-08:00

How often I forget that I am exactly where I am supposed to be for God makes no mistakes.
Sure, there is plenty to improve upon, however I am exactly who I should be today,with exactly the right people in my life.

I have lived so much of my life, wasted it even, obsessed and controlled with how others saw me. Constantly striving to be someone I'll never be. I will never be perfect, I will never say the right thing, but I'll always be what I was made to be...God's love in the form of Anne. You are God's love in whatever form you take.

I am learning that we are perfectly formed to minister to someone His love. His perfection is found in our weakness.

God loves you even as you are and where you are. Any changing should be done by our Creator.

He loves you....and so do I!

Curried lentils with turkey

2011-12-03T11:21:00.001-08:00

1/2 cup lentils
1/2 cup turkey cooked
1/4 cup onion
1 clove garlic
1/2 cup salsa
Curry powder to taste
Little olive oil
1/2 to 1 cup water or stock

Mix together and simmer on medium heat for about 45 minutes. Yummy!!

My favorite protein powder

2011-12-03T08:36:00.001-08:00

2011-12-03T08:27:00.001-08:00

Here I am! Thinking of going to the park later and seeing if I can find a farmer market still around.

The toddler is napping, the man is at work, and I am trying to relax and decide how the next few months will go.

There is a lot of denial involved when you lose a lot of weight and gain it back, but mirrors and aching joints do not lie.

Oh yeah, I am loving this IPAD!!!

My favorite people!

2011-12-03T07:36:00.001-08:00

See my baby and the hubbie. When I dress today, I will post an updated pic of me.

So...I am back

2011-12-03T07:13:00.000-08:00

So, after gaining back about 80 lbs, I am back. This will now be the story of how I will lose it again. I am thinking I will start with my doctor suggestion to di protein shakes for awhile to get rid of carb cravings and then back to basics. Focus on protein, then veggies and STOP drinking with meals!

Finding a New Church Home

2008-10-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

Chris & I have wildly different ideas on what makes a good church. We were both raised as Baptists, however my viewpoint took a big swing at around age 18 to more of a Pentecostal slant. The church we have been going to is a nice southern baptist church, but the church is large and i don't feel like I belong...Chris is content.

We tried out this one. It meets in a restaurant...has about 60 people in the congregation..sweet as could be and I could feel God there. WE both felt at home and accepted, and thats a lot considering this is Georgia, and Chris was one of the only black people there..but they treated him with the love and respect that I wanted to see. And people seem to act different when we are an interracial couple vs same color couple sometimes, so it was with great relief that I settled down to hear the word and praise music.

I love this church, I think I could be a part of it, but Chris is NOT ready to make a choice and thats fine. I just hope he lets me go back and visit because I think I could start singing again there at that church vs the large church and I miss singing in church so much!

EXERCISE is the key!

2008-10-19T14:30:00.000-07:00

Since they discovered I was dehydrated and gave me fluids, my weight has jumped up about 7lbs! I also haven't exercised. I have noticed that when i don't exercise, my weight richochets about, varying by large amounts. It doesn't seem to matter that my calories stay consistant in line with what my nutritionist wants. Why is that? Being accountable, here is what I ate today:

Breakfast: Carbmaster yogurt & a 1oz piece of cheddar cheese
Snack: White cheddar cheezits(a serving)
Lunch: 1 piece of pizza(yeah yeah carbs)
Snack: White cheddar cheezits(a serving)
Dinner: 4oz turkey breast & some peas

And of course, lotsa decaf coffee with sf creamer & splenda!

So, NO one knows whats Wrong with Me!

2008-10-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

Since I fainted in Walmart, my extremities(i.e. arms & legs) have been tingling with this weird sensation of hot/cold, numb/not numb kind of deal going on. Went to the ER on Thursday night...for 5 hours! They ran all kinds of blood tests, gave me a bag of fluid, and a brain CT. Apparently I have a brain>>>ITS BEEN CONFIRMED! however they cannot figure out why this is happening. They think its due to the surgery and they think its because of some type of vitamin deficiency. They were leaning towards B12, however 2 months ago my b12 was sky high(which is perfectly fine). Wrote my nutritionist and asked her.

She says could be dehydration with the fainting issue...to start drinking even more fluids(I already get like 150 to 200 oz a day!) and to add in Powerade Zero. Also she sent me a list of the vitamins that my doctor doesn't regularly check and it very could be a vitamin deficiency. I am wondering about Thiamine because tingling in the extremities is a very big indicator.

I guess we'll find something out on Monday. Oh, yeah...and I'm not pregnant. Not only did they test that...so did I. And I know I'm crazy...but..I am a little happy about it, and a little sad.

Recipe for my Turkey Burger Alfredo w/Whole Wheat Noodles

2008-10-15T17:58:00.000-07:00

1lb Turkey burger
1 medion Onion
4 cloves garlic(I like it garlicky..you can make this optional or go with it)
1 can rotel
Bertolli Sun Dried Tomato Alfredo Sauce(I'm no Betty Crocker)
Some type of Whole Wheat Noodles

Saute the turkey burger until browned, then add the onion and garlic and wait until they are cooked through. Add in the Rotel. In another pot, make sure you already have water boiling for the noodles and throw them in...cook the noodles around 16 min. After the Rotel has simmered with the turkey meat, gently add in the alfredo sauce. Let it all simmer together for about 15 mins and serve over the Whole Wheat Noodles. I don't know the caloric info...but its all healthy food! Add veggies as desired to this dish! Voila...dinner is served.
Its really really good! Sorry no pic...maybe later.

Today...

2008-10-15T17:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't written anything for a day or so. I haven't been feeling so well. On Monday, I fainted in Walmart. I have had the situation since surgery where I get dizzy and disoriented when I stand up..thats nothing new. I have fainted before since surgery because my blood pressure continues to be too low. However, I stood up in Walmart and promptly fell on my butt. My vision went, my hearing went, and then my legs went! I hit the floor and immediately snapped out of it. Went and took my blood pressure, and this time it was high for me. So it appears that it is cycling. Surgeon on call says it has NOTHING to do with my gastric bypass. Yeah..right. I am seeing a new pcp on 10/20(Monday) so hopefully they can help me. Their office staff says the doctor has a lot of experience with WLS patients so here's hoping.

My finances are irritating me and I am really feeling bad because I have been paying on my credit cards the best I can right now, but I have neglected my husbands...& that has come to a head. The worst part is the hubbie is not mad at me at all..but I feel so guilty and selfish. We are now doing the bills together(I feel so irresponsible.) Him being nice about it only makes me feel even worse, ya know.

We received a real blessing this week...so things aren't all bad. We were looking into Angel Food Ministries and were going to try to get in this week(but the funds are low!) and so I wrote the church we would work with that I would like to know the deadline for Nov and we would start then...and lo and behold, they bought us a box just out of being nice. How sweet and how timely!
So next week...the cubbards will be full! We are not poor...just facing really hard times. This Friday...we will get paid and things will be a little better...even more better if Chris's raise kicks in...if not...still better.

So..in an effort to remain accountable to you...here is the total damage for the day:

Breakfast--2 boiled eggs and a carbmaster yogurt
Lunch--5 pc of Morningstar Faux Buffalo nuggets and green salad w/thousand island dressing
Snack--Hot Chocolate NSA
Snack-Carbmaster Yogurt
Dinner--Turkey Alfredo Pasta w/Rotel(recipe to follow)
Snack--2 cups of NSA Hot Chocolate

Totals: 1245 cals, 56g fat, 90 carbs(way high), 85g protein(all right!)
Exercise: 45 mins elliptical, 30 mins treadmill, 20 mins strength training
Vitamins: all in(oops...let me take the last two calcium)
Water-all in

Isn't it funny I can drink that NSA Hot Chocolate and only sometimes I dump on it? Go figure.

UGH...Dumping on 7g sugar!

2008-10-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah..so my life has come down to this. Dumping on NO Sugar Added Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate!
How pathetic am I? I am sitting here with sweat running down my face and my stomach in a knot!
The funny? I thought I didn't dump on sugar!
OH YEAH..I do.

Lazy Sunday

2008-10-12T14:25:00.000-07:00

Its been a tremendously lazy day! I loved every minute of doing nothing at all. How often do we get to do that? Never! I think my biggest accomplishment today was washing the ever growing mound of dishes that were in the kitchen. Christen & I were having a silent fight over who was going to do them: he won!

After conquering that mound of dishes, I went & took a nap! But I can say I did do my hour of exercise today, so I felt justified! I am still avoiding doing my homework. It is amazing how many excuses I can come up with for avoiding things I don't want to deal with today.

I will be adding more photos to the site as soon as a)I take some, and b) I figure out how to load them into the posts. So far, I haven't figured that out. Some of the blogs that I follow have some wondrous recipes that I need to try next week. You know I got out my paper and pen and wrote them down, right? Oh, I did.
They look awesome!

And here is the best news! I am down 3 lbs this week so far! Official weigh in is tomorrow at 4:30am! Yes, that is am! So...I was up 11lbs after coming off the depo shot so this puts me right back where I was..199lbs. I'll take it...but its coming down baby!

Food for Today:

2 fried in smart balance light eggs
3 pc turkey bacon
***********************************
1/2 banana with 2 tsp pb
**********************************
5 pc Morningstar Farms faux chix nuggets & a salad w/thousand island dressing
*************************************************************
1/2 banana
************************************
3 oz baked chicken & salad w/thousand island dressing
******************************************
pc of string cheese(trying to bring protein count up)
******************************************
No Sugar Added Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate(its cold today)

Total Damage: 1055 calories, 58g fat(14g over goal), 80g carbs(20g over!), 61g protein(below target of 65).

Exercise: 30 mins elliptical, 30 mins treadmill(walking today)
Fluids: Goal Met & Exceeded
Vitamins: IN!

Thoughts for the day: Today was good! I exceeded my fat and carbohydrate goals, but stayed within my calorie target for the most part. I exercised for an hour which is one of my goals, and actually relaxed and tried not to worry at all today. Pretty happy with my day, actually. How about you guys??

Staying Accountable: Food & Exercise for Today

2008-10-11T17:59:00.000-07:00

Breakfast
1 egg with cheese cooked w/a teaspoon of smart balance light
some ketchup
2 pcs of butterball turkey bacon
1/4 cup no sugar added peaches
********************************************************
Snack
2 tsp peanut butter
********************************************************
Lunch
5 pcs of Morningstar Farms Faux Buffalo Chix Nuggets
(dipped with ketchup & mustard)
1/4 cup peaches
********************************************************
Dinner
5oz chicken(crockpot) and a tiny bit of rice(which I later dumped on)
a bit of salad w/thousand island dressing
*************************************************************
Snack
No sugar added hot chocolate

Totals for today: 983 calories, 39g fat, 72g carbs, 74g protein(logged into dailyplate.com)
Exercise: 30 minutes of walking the streets with the hubby
Vitamins: All done
Water/Liquids: All done
Thoughts on Food: Today, I feel... accomplished because I stuck to my caloric goals, even when I didn't want to. I am figuring out that I tend to overeat at work out of boredom. I really need to speak to my manager about needing more work to keep my hands busy.I also think I stress eat. When I am at home...less stress, less food in my mouth.

9 Months Since Weight Loss Surgery(RNY)

2008-10-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

So, its been 9 months(1/28/2008) since I had weight loss surgery. In so many ways, I have changed. In so many ways, I don't see the change. Others see it, others comment on how different I look, how different my actions are, but..me? I still see that 315 lb, 5'3 woman staring at me in the mirror. I have lost now 111 lbs. That should make me happy, right?
And it does.

I have changed. I know that mentally. I am smaller. I can run now, not just walk on the treadmill. I can lift weights, I can exercise just like any other normal American. However, I still see that fat woman in the mirror. How can I say "fat"? Isn't that a hurtful word? Absolutely...but that is how I felt about myself. Hurtful, embarrassed, sad, and extremely depressed.

People can say that the surgery is "the easy way out" all they want...but they don't understand what big people deal with. Its not just the weight. Its the weight, its high blood pressure, its diabetes or the fear of developing it, its sleep apnea(a condition in which it is hard to sleep and if you do, you wake gasping for breath), its barely having the energy to make it down the hall. When you can understand that, when you have experienced that, then and only then can you say I took the easy way out.

Easy? I still have to work for every pound that I lose. I exercise at least an hour(at least I try to) every day. I eat around 900 to 1000 calories a day. My mind tells me that I want more..but my body knows better. It is a struggle, but I still do not regret my surgery. It was a blessing, and I would do it again in a minute.