If only you knew...

For a WOMAN...

2018-10-08T18:03:00.000-04:00

News Flash...

I'm kind of tired of gender. Like SUPER TIRED. I'm probably even more tired of men telling me that I need to stick up for my gender...like I can't do that without being told to do that, but to be fair, I'm tired of EVERYONE AND ANYONE telling me what I should think. I'm tired of awards that are specific to my gender. I'm tired of anything that forces people to choose me or care about my existence because of my gender. I'm generally tired of anything that focuses on my genetics as a reason for anything good or bad. I cannot control my genetics anymore than anyone else. True story.

I don't want your stupid Women doing <insert pretty much anything here> award...

Lately, there have been all these Women in tech awards things that work is trying to get me nominated for. And every time I say NO. I don't want an award for being a female. I want an award because I'm freaking awesome. And if I'm only competing against part of the competitor pool, then it's a waste of my time and basically like saying to me that I'm still not good enough to compete for real. That is how I view it. You all can tell me how not a feminist I am or whatever it is that you want to think, but anyone who knows me knows that I think for myself. And in my mind, equal is not equal if stuff is still separate. Equal is not equal if any group is singled out. Also, if you have to encourage a specific group to do something, isn't it kind of like saying they are too weak to encourage themselves? Like I don't encourage my boys to do anything in particular. There are too many things. I just say, do what you want and don't suck at it. And don't be a jerk to other people unless they are jerks. It's a blanket statement that applies to everything. No one encouraged me to do computer science. No one discouraged me from doing it. I like computers, so that's what I did. Let's encourage that.

Where does this radical thinking come from, you ask?
When I was in grammar school, we used to play kickball on the playground at recess. You know, back in a time when kids still had recess and weren't encouraged to be blobs. One of the main badges of honor was the ability to kick the ball hard enough, far enough, and high enough that it would land on the roof of the garage that was out in left-center "field". (I put "field" in quotes because it was a blacktop playground, so field is a stretch of the word). If you could kick to the roof, you were a kickball beast and usually got picked pretty early in the team selection process. When I was 10, I didn't care about being the first, last, only, whatever girl who could kick it onto the roof. ALL I CARED ABOUT WAS BEING PICKED FIRST FOR A TEAM. So, you know what I did? I kicked the shit out of the ball. At some point, I was able to kick it onto the roof. And then I got picked first. Not because I was a girl but because I could kick that stupid ball really effing hard. Oh, I was also really good at catching it and getting people out. Sometimes, the boys would tease each other about picking a girl, because kids are stupid. But you what beats stupid? Winning. So I was picked first. And everyone shut their pie holes because it was even more embarrassing to make fun of other people who were beating your ass at kickball.

Have there been times that I didn't get picked because I was female? Probably. Just like there have probably been times some of you have not been picked for being male, or short, or heavy, or small, or, yup, a different color. Does it suck? Sure. Heck, I was told by the JV softball coach at the end of Sophmore year that I wasn't on varsity that year because I wasn't serious enough and told too many jokes. WTF is that? Not because I didn't have the skill or ability, but because Coach M didn't think I was funny. One of my first consulting gigs, everyone thought I was like 12 and I had to prove that I wasn't an idiot. And you know what? It felt way better to show that I was good at stuff then to be there because they HAD to pick me or were in some way obligated to have me there.

There have also probably been times that I've been picked because I knew someone, had a friend or showed up when no one else did. I got one consulting gig based on phone interview due to being the most enthusiastic sounding choice. I was by far not the most skilled at writing stupid boring SQL queries. I just seemed the most excited for the job. And, yes, there have probably been times that I've gotten an opportunity because of my gender, since there weren't a lot of girls in computer science. As a white, American female, I would have been a minority in the field, especially when I was doing QA testing. The only way to fight against any of it is to be great at something. When you are great at something it makes you hard to ignore. And maybe make people laugh. That also seems to work.

So, what caused this sudden and aggressive outburst?

Dr. Who. True story. Like everyone is making a huge deal out of this female Dr. Who. I haven't seen it yet. I'm sure she's great and I'm looking forward to seeing how they do with the new show runner and new Dr. Who. Just like I am every time they switch Dr. Whos. It's always interesting. And since last season was a waste of my life, I'm hoping things have improved. I could care less that it's a woman, other then I'm super annoyed at how they are making it out to be this wonderful progressive thing.

Issue #1: It's not progressive to do something that is currently trendy. If they had cast a woman Dr. Who after David Tenant or Matt Smith, that would have been fairly progressive. Actually, it would have made WAY more sense after David Tennant since the Rose/Dr. Who story had been so emotional and it would have been a great change of pace. It would have also been interesting between Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi because River Song was still around and I bet she would have been BEAST with a female Dr. Who. It certainly would have been less awkward then watching Clara deal with the fact that her adorbs young doctor was now an old man. Peter Capaldi's Doctor Who didn't get really great until his second season (through no fault of his own. The writing was just meh for a lot of his run). I actually think it would have been more interesting to have a Doctor Who from another country other then England or Scotland. But I digress...

Issue #2: River Song, Amy Pond, Me, Clara, Missy (a.k.a. The Master), Madame Vastra and Jenny, Rose...those are just some of the super awesome and pivotal female roles that have been the heart of Doctor Who since it's reboot. If not for Rose, the reboot might have failed. If not for Amy Pond (and Rory to be fair), we might never have been able to accept Matt Smith as the Doctor. Without Madame Vastra and Jenny, we would not have STRAX...ok, I mean, interesting characters for mystery solving. Without Clara, the fabric of reality would have been ripped apart. Without the great Me story arc, Doctor Who could not have learned just how far reaching his actions can be. And without River Song, we would not have enjoyment in our lives because she is by far one of the greatest Doctor Who characters of all time. Like I loved David Tennent as Doctor Who, but I LOVED Alexis Kingston as River Song. The fact is, it's always been the companions that have made Doctor Who what it is because at some level, Doctor Who is always the same. It's the companions that are truely different. So by making the fact that a female is cast as Doctor Who be the center of all things, I believe we do a HUGE disservice to all of the female characters that have actually carried the show. That's my opinion.

Issue #3: Three companions. Not since kind of early in the original series has a Doctor Who started out with 3 companions. It's always 1, maybe 2. Other folks will visit from time to time so that a single episode or couple of episodes will have more then 2 companions, but not in a very long time has the Doctor started out with 3 companions. So, what does that say? It says to me that, though they took a "risk" by making Doctor Who female, they are not confident enough to maintain the same format. She's a girl so she needs more companions, I guess...

My frustration with the hypocrisy of it all acted as a catalyst for me to say something. Oh and being stuck on a really long drive in the car.

Okay, okay, I'm wrapping it up...
This is the lesson I've carried throughout life: Be good at things. Do things. Keep doing things. Do what you want to do. Don't depend on others to do it for you. Stop listening to what other people tell you what you can or cannot do. Turns out, it doesn't matter what other people think, because the key to actually being successful at anything is the internal belief that you can do it. And the only people that will really be able to help you believe in yourself is YOU and people you trust. Not random people on tv. Or politicians. Or the news. And if something unfair happens, dust yourself off and move on. Because life will never be fair when fairness is a moving target that changes every 5 minutes. It's an impossible goal and only sets us all up for failure. Step outside the box and refuse to let anyone else force you back into it. That's how I see it. Feel free to disagree. I'll probably ignore you anyway :P

I'm a Dog!

2018-10-04T18:45:00.001-04:00

11 years, 2 months, and 13 days, I had a dog. Her name was Dakota.

On Friday, July 20, 2007, I came home from work and met a puppy. She was just there in the driveway and ran up to me when I got out of my car. That’s how I met Dakota. My neighbor asked if I wanted her, I said yes, and that was it. I had a dog.

I was living in Asbury Park when Dakota got me. Every night we’d go for these long walks around town, up to the boardwalk and all over the place. Every time we saw a person, she would want to go over and sit on their feet until they pet her. It was her thing even on her last day when she met two new people at the office. Walk over, sit on your feet, get petted. By doing this, EVERYONE knew her. Actually, I believe at one point, she was dubbed “Mayor Dakota” by someone. I was just “Dakota’s mom”. I had been living in Asbury for a few years but didn’t really know anyone. I’m not a super social person in general and certainly not a “go out and make random friends” type. Walking Dakota helped me meet all sorts of people and make new friends using her Dakota magic. Being Dakota’s mom is one of the best things I’ve ever been.

One of my favorite memories is that my brother was walking Dakota for me one day and the Asbury Park police officers who were patrolling the board walk that day called me up to say “Are you aware that some man is walking your dog?”. Er, yes, officers. That’s my brother. Stand down. I’m not sure if they actually stopped him until I confirmed, but I still thought it was hilarious and also, that’s how much everyone knew Dakota and cared about her.

I’d had Dakota about a year when my Aunt Laura’s health started to decline. I had quit my job as a consultant and taken up part-time work so that I could spend more time with her. 3-4 times a week, I would drive the 40 minutes up to Westfield with Dakota to visit Aunt Laura and every time, Laura would say “Oh that’s a cute dog, but I can’t take care of a dog right now.” (She was a bit forgetful at that point, being 90 years old and having a bit of dementia). I’d reassure her that the dog was mine and she wouldn’t have to take care of it. Then she’d sit and pet Dakota. I don’t know why but that memory always makes me smile.

As far as random dogs that show up on your doorstep go (or any other dog acquired in any other way), Dakota was pretty much the greatest dog ever. She was just a good dog. She learned her name right away, listened, potty trained in like a week, sat, came when you called or whistled, walked next to you without a leash, backed up when you said “back it up”. And she learned with ease. She was like a magical first dog that has probably ruined me for all other dogs. I love Queso, but that dog is STUBBORN. Dakota was just…Dakota.

There are so many memories. So many things that I don’t want to forget:

- Karl saying how when she walks, it like she’s happily exclaiming “I’m a dog!” with each step.

- Her happy rolling in the grass.

- Karl and I getting lost on a hike with her and how after 10 miles, me and him were desperate to find the car but Dakota was the happiest ever because walking in the woods and sniffing things was her favorite.

- How when she was little, she would just stop walking when she got tired and lay down like “yup, I’m done. Good luck to you.” I’d have to pick her up and put her in my bag to carry her the rest of the way home.

- How she didn’t like to swim so when I threw the ball into the ocean, she would wait for the waves to bring it back and then get it when it was in shallow water.

- How she would always sit with me when I was sick.

- How she thought she was a cat and would sit on the back cushion of the couch until she got so big, she would just squish it all the way down.

- How she would be so happy to see me, she would wag her butt in a U and hit herself in the face with her own tail.

- How when we’d hike, she’d only go as far away from me as she could still see me. She ALWAYS had to have eyes on me.

- How she would follow me from room to room.

- How she would self-pet by walking back and forth under your hand.

- How she would hit me with her toy when she wanted to play.

- The time she got into the UPS guys truck like that’s normal.

- How she loved EVERYONE, including whoever broke in and stole my tv when I first moved to Indianapolis (I found her sitting on the couch, chewing on a stick).

- How she’s sit on the porch and bark once every so often to remind us that we’d let her out and forgotten to let her back in. And if we still didn’t let her in, she would run around to the back deck French doors and stare at us through the glass. Seriously, she was smarter then any of us.

- Morpheus used to follow her around and smack her when she was a puppy. Like “I’m the boss. Don’t forget it. Ever” She learned, too, because she always let the cats boss her around.

- How much she loved Brian and the minions. Each time one of the boys would start to pet her, she would do this sort of slow drop and roll over so they could pet her belly. Also, she would sit outside their bedroom door waiting for them to come out whenever they were staying with us. She loved those boys so much.

- How when I’d say “go to Brian” she would go to wherever Brian was.

- How she would walk back and forth against your legs like a cat.

- How Neo had to run up and rub all up on her the minute she came into the house and she’d just sit there with a long-suffering, tolerant look on her face. Because in our house, the cats and dogs don’t realize that they are different from each other.

- Her ninja puppy crawl

- Teaching her how to drink from water fountains.

- Is it a squirrel or is it a murderer? She’ll bark at either.

- Her near religious hatred of rabbits.

- Her constant desire to catch a chipmunk.

It’s brutal. There is not a thing on this earth that will love you as much or as unconditionally as a dog will love you. Not a person, not any other kind of pet. Nothing. There was nothing that I could do wrong in the eyes of that dog and no matter what, every time she saw me, it was the happiest moment of her life. And no matter what, whenever I saw her, everything was better. What do I do without that?

The cancer came on so fast. It’s like one day she’s jumping around like a puppy and then she’s sort of not eating and then she’s not eating but we think she’s allergic to something but, no, it’s lymphoma and her spleen and liver are affected and there’s bruising on her belly because of the cancer and she’s barely got any energy and can’t keep food down and she won’t walk around the pond which is her favorite and you have to sign the horrible papers that say you understand what it means to euthanize your pet. Because there is no drug, no surgery, no amount of money that can make it better. The only choices are to sign those papers or watch this family member that you love so much suffer because it’s too hard to let her go. So, you sign the papers and see your husband cry for the first time in the 9 years that you’ve known him. I hate those papers. I hate them so much.

On Wednesday, October 3, 2018, I brought Dakota to the vet for the final time. And that was it.

11 years, 2 months, and 13 days, I had a dog. Her name was Dakota.

I guess I only blog when I'm sad...

2017-10-21T19:03:00.001-04:00

They don't teach this...

People are hard for me. Pets are not. I can't offend my pets with the stupid things that I say or do. Pets are happy to see me no matter what. I feel like I shouldn't be this sad for a cat. Like more than I am when a human is sick and dies. I feel stupid because I can't stop crying. I feel stupid that my stomach hurts. I feel stupid because I'm about to write a long blog about my cat. But that's the thing about a pet. They don't now that I'm stupid. They don't know that feelings are confusing to me. They are basic like me. They don't know what's normal, so they are fine either way. So, I'll just ramble for a bit. I apologize. Maybe this will make me feel better. Maybe worse. I don't know. I just don't now what else to do with this.

I don't know where to start...

So I guess I'll start from the beginning. I want to get this down while it's fresh. While I still remember. My memory is sketchy at best, so it's best to get it down.

12 years of Morpheus has seen: 6 boyfriends (1 became my husband), 3 step-minions, 5 houses. 6 other pets (all still alive!), 2 family deaths, 7 jobs, the end of my 20s, the entirety of my 30s, and the start of my 40s.

I got Morpheus when he was only a few weeks old. He was a barn kitten that a friend gave to a boyfriend of mine, who in turn gave him to me. He was the first of my "menagerie". The original gangster.

He was so tiny. He couldn't do much yet. I had to feed him kitten formula with a syringe and wipe his little butt with wet paper towel to make him go potty. Like his mom would. I know that sounds gross, but it was what it was. He was so tiny. Those giant blue eyes where just...too much.

He got big fast and obnoxious, so I got him a friend, Trixie (now we just call her Fat Cat). And they were such good friend. Then I got Dakota...and they were not good friends. Morpheus was not super excited about Dakota. He'd follow her around and when she would turn around, he would smack her with his paw. I moved to Indianapolis and we got Neo & Kitten. Then the sugar glider, Lila. Now Queso. Queso is the only one Morpheus really liked. They became besties. I'm not sure if Queso will realize something is different.

The thing about Morpheus, is he was so...him.

He knew his name and would come when you said it...sometimes. When he was younger, he would sit on counters and wait for you to walk by so he could swipe at you. For the first few years I had him, he never made a sound, until one day I opened a can of wet food for the first time and he started meowing. He only meowed for wet food. Otherwise he was silent. When I first got Dakota, he would pee in her crate every night until I also let him sleep in the bedroom. He always wanted to be in the same room as you but didn't want you to hold him. He took every move in stride. He hated New Jersey, because he was such a cranky bastard when I lived there but once I moved to Indiana, he turned all nice (ok, more like not as much of a bastard). He loved Brian. I didn't think he could purr until I met Brian when Morpheus was 4. For brian, he became a lap cat. He just started jumping up on Brian's lap and purring. He never did that before.

He didn't catch mice. He would sit on the top of his cat tower and watch Fat Cat catch mice. Like he was too good for that peasant stuff. Let others catch his mice for him. He would run out the front door, run down the driveway, and then just roll and purr on the sidewalk. It was one of his favorite "games". Mostly at night, when he blended into the dark. Mostly when you couldn't find your shoes nearby. He occasionally would try to murder me by getting under my feet. He spent 10 years trying to escape, until he was finally successful in January of 2016. He'd only got away one other time right after I had moved to Indy, but that was only for a couple of days. That January, he was gone for 3 weeks. And then he just turned up one day, skinny and sniffling, but otherwise just fine. From then on, he was a much nicer cat. He snuggled more and purred more. He must have seen things in that 3 weeks that let him know that his life could be worse then living with us.

Since we got Queso, Morph jumped onto the bed every morning to purr and snuggle with the dog. It was the strangest friendship, but it worked. If he wanted to be fed in the rmorning, he would paw everything off my nightstand until I woke up. At night, he would sit in front of the TV and block it if he wanted food. He liked to sit in the highest spots in the house. His spots. The other cats seem to avoid those spots.

Now I'm just listing stuff he did because I don't want to forget him. How grumpy he always seemed. How he purred so loudly in the morning, it would wake you up. How he would lick my arm until there was a rug burn like wound. How green his eyes where. They were blue when he was a baby. They became green as he grew up. So green.

I wish...

I wish that I had know that last time he snuggled the puppy, that it was the last time. Or the last time that I fed him and he came running at the sound that it was the last time. Or the last time he meowed that it was the last time. I wish I had known he was sick. I wish that he could have told me. I wish that there was something I could have done about it.

Morpheus was the first pet in my "menagerie". He's the first that was mine. He is the first that I've had to lose in my adult life. He's the first I had to decide to send to the farm. He's the longest I've had a pet. 12 years. 30% of my life. That's a lot longer than most people I've known.

I know I did the right thing today. There might have been other things that we could have done to extend his life, but those would have been for us, not him. He wasn't eating, wasn't going to the bathroom, barely moving and coughing up stuff. I got to be with him when he went to sleep for the last time. I got to pet him and hold him. He was so soft. He was always so soft. He was purring. I hope because he knew that we were there and we loved him and because he wasn't hurting.

Today is not my favorite.

I don't know what to say...

2015-05-12T22:48:00.000-04:00

I don't know what to say...

So, I'm not so good at talking about my feelings or things that are going on that suck. I also am not one to post random cryptic "Life Sucks" messages on Facebook, making those who might care wonder what it going on. Nor am I one to post lengthy Facebook posts that describe in great detail crappy events happening in my personal life. I feel like i have to talk about this. Like it needs to be out of my head. I just don't know what to say.

I feel like I need to say something, because as my insanely mature 14-year-old niece told me, it's a thing that is happening in our lives that will affect us and it's important to remember it no matter how hard and awful it is. Yup, 14.

And so I'll tell a story to a few people who, well, I guess I trust won't make me feel all weird about sharing.

The short story...

My brother Phil died today. He was 54. He's the one I was closest to of my other siblings from my dad's first marriage. He was there when I was born. We weren't allowed to touch his guitars, but otherwise he was always pretty cool about his little sister and brother (17 and 19 years his junior) hanging around him. When my mom burned down her house in a crazy psychotic break when I was 25, his family was the family that Karl and I had to feel normal. He died today on the same day that our father died 26 years ago. I don't know what to say.

The long story...

Friday night, May 1:

I found out via my older brother, Bob's, Facebook page (yeah, um, thanks for the phone call or personal message) that my other older brother, Phil, was in the hospital. Apparently, he found out on accident somehow because Phil like didn't have any of us listed anywhere as an emergency contact. 54 and 58 years old, those two are. *shakes head* So, I contact Bob and get hold of my niece, Emily, who says that Phil was admitted to the hospital with breathing problems, but that as far as they knew, everything is ok. Sweet. I go to sleep.

Saturday morning, May 2:

I call the hospital. They are all, "Oh are you a blood relative, can you make medical decisions, we had to put him on a ventilator because his blood pressure dropped and he stopped breathing and he's got sepsis and once he's stable he will need at least his toe amputated" and well a bunch of suck. Over the course of the day, I learn that due to the fact that he's basically ignored the fact that he's a diabetic for the past few years, he probably developed diabetic neuropathy in his feet, cut his toe or got sores or something, they got infected, he didn't notice or ignored that too, the infection spread into his bone, and then sepsis. And now I'm making decisions about his care.

Sunday, May 3:

Phil is still unconscious. I talk to my niece, Sarah. She's scared and asks me if I'm coming to New Jersey. I say yes.

Monday, May 4:

Drive to New Jersey

Tuesday, May 5:

I spend the day trying to figure out what is happening and hanging out with Sarah. After stalking doctors and nurses, I'm able to cobble together more information: Due to years of ignoring his diabetes and drinking too much, his liver is not in the best shape. His kidneys are borderline. He's not on dialysis yet, but that could be not too far in the future. He's got ulcers in his esophagus and stomach from, yup, untreated diabetes and drinking. He's not able to breath on his own and still on the ventilator. The sepsis in his toe has spread to his ankle. His fever can't be controlled. It's just a pile of suck.

Wednesday, May 6:

Sarah and I play hookie and spend the day at the Liberty Science Center trying to think about something other than her dad's terrible condition. That evening, the doctor calls and I have to give consent for them to amputate my brother's leg below the knee. The second worst decision (not really a "decision" so much as a "must do", but still) I've ever had to make in my life.

Thursday, May 7:

Drive back to New Jersey. Surgery is postponed because no doctor is available.

Friday, May 8:

They call again for consent. I have to talk to 2 doctors and 2 nurses to say "Yes, I give you permission to amputate my brother's leg". I hate that sentence. He makes it through the surgery only to have both lungs collapse and they need to put in two chest tubes to re-inflate.

Saturday, May 9:

His fever is down. Nothing else really changes.

Sunday, May 10:

He is awake and alert. He is able to respond to yes/no questions and squeeze her hand.

Monday, May 11:

He's less alert. His fever is back up to 102.

Tuesday, May 12:

He is unresponsive. His fever is 103. They are checking his blood. His heart stops and that's it. He gone. My brother is gone. Just gone.

So, I guess tomorrow I go to New Jersey.

I'm mad. I'm mad because this didn't have to happen. I'm mad that he has a 14-year-old daughter who is going to be crushed. I'm mad because I love him and he's gone. I'm mad because I'm just mad. I'm sad. I'm confused. I feel sick. I want to cry but I hate to cry. I feel like my head is full of pressure. I feel like it's not real, but it's too real. It's too much.

I'm tired of calling people. "Hi, it's Jenn. I have some news. Phil died this afternoon. *pause because person on other end is at loss for words or starts crying* I'm sorry. It's terrible. His heart stopped and they couldn't get it restarted. Yes, thank you. I'm sorry, too. Will you be ok? I don't know yet about the service but I will let you know when I make a plan. Your welcome. Yes, this is awful. Yes, I know, it's sad. I'm sorry. Will you be ok? Ok, I'll talk to you later. Thank you. Goodbye."

Goodbye, Phil.

I am possibly the worst blogger ever....

2014-03-29T13:06:00.002-04:00

Hello Blogger My Old Friend...

It would seem that Facebook has ruined my life. My blogging life, that is. I'm sure I've mentioned this before because as I get older, I also get more repetitive. So, right, Facebook = life ruiner.

The thing is, I often have things to say. Quips to quip. Witty little nuggets of hilarity. But just as I'm like, "I should write that down", a cat vomits or hurricane minions destroy the kitchen, or work bursts into flames and I get distracted. Sadly, "cat vomits" is probably the most frequent reason. Seriously, what are we feeding those damned animals that causes so many problems?

I suppose I could write about the joys of renovation. Except there are not so many joys. We got geo-thermal installed. Apparently, being environmentally friendly is not only expensive, but also a giant pain in the buttocks. My only hope is that it's so awesome, it blows our minds.

Home renovation. Hmmm...that is a good topic. So here's the story...

We bought another house. It's like 4 miles from the house we currently live in. We didn't want to be too far from our favorite ice cream store. We have priorities. It's a cool house, on 2.5 acres of lands and has a .5 acre pond (filled with snapping turtles and muskrats, but it's OURs, so yay?). We knew the whole thing would need renovation due to everything in it being completely outdated, oddly configured, and gross. But it was a good price and we were looking to diversify. (We'll use our current house as a rental property. It's like we are grown-ups). Plus mortgages where at like 3% so we probably should have bought like 10 houses because that will likely never happen again in my lifetime. Anyway...

Everyone was all, "you just knock the house down and build a new one" and I was like "I don't want a house that looks like every other boring Indiana builder home". I like the A-frame style of the house. I just didn't like the 1970 kitchen, smelly everything and possibility of electrical fires. So, we demoed the inside. The house had been sitting unused for like 3 years...which led to all sorts of interesting finds...if by "interesting" I mean "aweful".

For example, one of the front door lights was filled with bees. I was like "oh, it's like a horror movie. Are we going to open up the walls and find bees". Only it wasn't a joke. The wall on the other side of the light had a giant beehive in it. Like all the way through the drywall. The only thing holding it in was the wallpaper. Apparently, bees have no problem making a hive through drywall, but they draw the line at wallpaper. Fortunately, the hive was dead. That would the only reason I didn't immediately lose my mind. Still, ew.

In addition to the bee hive, there was about a billion dead mice in the walls. When we took the drywall off the ceiling in the basement, it rained dead mice. That was super fun. I spend like a day on a google downward spiral trying to determine if I would die from inhaling so much dead mouse. It will be a few years before I know for sure. It seems that some mice are just dumb. They go down the wall between studs and then can't get back up, so they just die there. Then their stupid friends follow them and then after a few years you have a billion dead mice in the basement walls. To add to that, the people who owned the house must have had an exterminator come, so that added more dead mice. Because the mice don't leave the house to die. They just die. In the walls. Gross.

Then there's the bat. It lives way up high in the overhang over the front door. From this spot, it craps right on the front porch. Like on the welcome mat. A lot. I mean for an animal that eats like mosquitos, it really produces a lot of feces. At our current house, we put little houses all through our back woods to actually attract bats so they will eat the mosquitos, yet no bats have made themselves at home. At the new house, we welcome you with bat shit. So, yeah.

As we started demoing dryway and learning more, we found that the electric was way out of code, actually a few places had obviously caught fire. There were spots where the framing is super out of code. Good times.

Geo-Thermal...
We got geothermal. Apparently, doing right by the environment is crazy expensive. That was a painful process. They basically tore up our entire driveway and front yard without any warning. Like, when we were planning it, they were all "oh, we will drill these 5 wells and you'll barely notice we are here" and then it was like massive destruction. When Brian was all "what the hell!?!?", they were all "oh well you'll fix that during landscaping." Um, we weren't really planning on doing any landscaping for a few years, jerkoffs. Ugh.

The Shining Light...
We met some Amish craftsmen at the Indianapolis Home show. They will be building out all our kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets, front doors, wood ceiling in living room, and probably do all the trim work in the house. They are amazing. And the most reasonably costing thing that will be in our house. I kind of love them.

Ok, I'm bored with house stuff. I'll post before and after pictures if it ever gets done...

Jenn

I'm a robot...

2013-01-24T10:56:00.000-05:00

So, due to the fact that I am actually a robot, I find human emotions confusing. Ok, only part of that is true. I don't find human emotion confusing at all. Ok, I'm not really a robot.

I do find emotions to be confusing. And not in the "what am I feeling about this" sense, but more in the "am I feeling the right way and in the right amount" sense. I didn't have a lot of good examples of "normal" growing up, so whenever I feel a way about something, I feel the need to put it out into the world to see if I'm finally starting to lose the sanity I hold so dear.

For today's emotion, I pick Anxiety. I'm not typically an overly anxious person. I learned early that I have very little control over what could happen, so I try not to worry about it. Lots of things could happen, and the fact is, none of the coulds that I come up with are as likely as the one that I had no idea about. So, I live by the "deal with it when it happens" principle. It's a good principle in general. I enjoy much anxiety-free time.

The problem I'm facing now is that my life is completely intertwined with someone else's. I guess that's what happens when you like get married and stuff. And I guess the problem is not so much the intertwined lives part as the "what if something happens to that person" part. Before the intertwining, I was all "bad things happen but I take care of myself so I'm all good (as long as nothing happens to my brother)" about life. Now, I find that whenever Husband has to drive somewhere early in the morning (like this morning, he left at 6am to drive 2 hours to Cincinnati) or he flys out of town on business, I worry. Part of the worry has to do with the fact that I know he drives like an idiot half the time. Seriously, Husband, if you are reading this STOP TEXTING ME WHILE YOU DRIVE. But the other part of if is this deep down feeling that creeps up on me every so often that life is too good right now so something bad has to happen. I try to squash that feeling because I know it's dumb. Or I think it's dumb. Or I just think feelings are dumb in general.

To level set, I don't get "curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth" paralyzed with anxiety about it. The thought process goes something like this:
1. Husband is driving.
2. It's early, I hope he's awake enough.
3. It's really far
4. What if he gets into an accident?
5. I don't want to have to get a call from the police.
6. OMG How would I tell the kids?
7. *feeling of possible tears*
8. I'm being crazy.
9. I need coffee.
10. Mmmmm, coffee is good.

Rinse and repeat until I'm distracted by something more substantial than my desire for coffee, like work.

So,what I'm wondering is: Is this a normal amount of anxiety to feel?

Next Time: Social Situations Confuse the Robot Jenn.

Jenn - Happy Birthday, Dad. I miss you.

This shouldn't be called a blog

2013-01-21T18:23:00.001-05:00

but rather a periodic update into random parts of my brain that may or may not be created in regular intervals.

Hmmmm...What to talk about...

Ok, so i think we are all caught up on the fact that I got married. It was good times.

So, then at the end of November, I ended my time at Sallie Mae. Bye bye, depressing gray cubicle. I spent a month at home, attempting to organize the chaos. This is where I came to realize that, unless forced to for a specific reason, I can go DAYS without leaving my house and be completely fine. Ok, so I probably already knew that but a little reminder reinforced that knowledge.

Prior to leaving my job at Sallie Mae and taking the month off, I had been tracking some opportunities for when I was done being off and ready to work again. I knew I didn't want to go back to the depressing world of cubicles. That limited me a bit. But then all my wildest cubicle-free dreams came true: I got to start working at Developer Town.

DeveloperTown...
So, this place is pretty awesome. It's a start-up that's past the "starting up" stage but before the "make millions and millions"stage. I get to work on a bunch of different projects that involve technology from this actual decade . To learn more about what DeveloperTown does: www.developertown.com.

I would write more, but they keep me incredibly busy. I do get to bring Dakota and Lilah.

That is pretty awesome. I don't have to feel bad about leaving them home all day all by themselves everyday. The only problem I'm seeing is that Dakota is already completely co-dependent, so this might not help that situation. Everyone pets her and loves on her, which is her favorite. I feel a bit like a circus act because people are always asking me to pull Lilah out of my shirt now. I don't really mind, though.

I got my own little house, which is what DT uses for offices. Everyone who works here has their own little house. I also got to decorate it any way I wanted. So my little house used to look like:

and now it looks like

That's my husband lounging on the couch while I continue to work hard. So, now i have a nice little office to do my work in and a place to take a nap in the afternoon when I'm wiped at like 3 and need 15 minutes of sleep. The only problem with having a little house is that there is a front door and everytime someone knocks on it, Dakota gets all arf arf about it. Crazy dog.

Let's see...in other news....

67 days until I am on a cruise ship and enjoying adult beverages while the minions run wild and hopefully don't fall overboard...
15 weeks and 2 days until I begin my journey to Tanzania to walk up a hill like a hobbit. I may even through a ring into the volcano to get the full LOTRs experience...

That's all I got for now.

Jenn - Miles to go before I sleep...

One Week Anniversary

2012-10-06T09:14:00.001-04:00

So maybe I can be a little sappy...

Since getting married and such is quite a big milestone in life, I thought if might be of some value to chronicle in some way how I felt/feel about it. Thus, here I am at 8am on Saturday morning, chronicling...

I grew up in a tough environment. I would not describe my childhood years as normal, happy, well-adjusted. I had my little brother and any happy times I had as a kid involved him. Otherwise, it was not a good time. I spent my younger adult years sort of wandering. I had good relationships and bad ones. At some points, I just wasn't ready for the good relationships to become marriage and the bad ones just made me want to give up entirely. Before I met Brian, I was ready to just give up and accept my life as the crazy cat lady. I was wondering if life would ever just ease up and if the bullshit quota would ever be met. It was a joke i had. I had convinced myself that everyone's life had a bullshit quote: the amount of bullshit that we each had to put up with before we could just have a regular normal life. I was wondering if i just had a particularly high quota to meet. I mean, even by 32 years old, I'd had a long life. Growing up with my mom, my father's death, the fire, taking care of Aunt Laura and her death...that's a lot to pack into the first third of one's life. So, I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, but I was wondering if this was how it would always be or if maybe there would be a break thrown in at some point. And that's when I met Brian. Funny how that works.

I woke up this morning and I looked around me. There's the dog, passed out on the floor in that way that only dogs can sleep. Like she just spent a hard night out running the streets and she's exhausted so every part of her body looks flopped on the ground, passed out. One cat is nestled down at the bottom of the bed, one is dangling over the edge of the sugar glider's cage and playing, one is curled up on the dresser, and the fourth is lying on Brian's chest and staring at him. Brian is asleep on his back but, thankfully, his mouth is closed so he's not snoring and he looks so young. When he sleeps, his whole face relaxes and he's like 25.

I woke up and i surveyed this scene around me and I thought "This is my life. My happy, normal, well-adjusted life." I thought about the wedding and Brian's family and how a few months ago my brother had asked me why I wanted to marry Brian. He was trying to elicit some sort of emotion out of me, which is not really how I roll. I think I said something like "mumble, mumble, because I love him or whatever, shut up, don't be cheesey." No one can accuse me of being adept at expressing my emotions.

Brian is an amazing person. I know this not just because I think so but because of the way the people around him think so, as well. He has this huge extended family. There are 3 sisters, 1 brother, two sets of parents, 6 neices and nephews, 6 grandneices and nephews, and uncles and aunts. Except for his mother, father, and half-brother, non of these people are actually blood related to him, but there are all LOVE related to him. It's amazing, really, because put all these people in a room together and I think the single thing they could all 100% agree on is that they love and respect and like Brian. Plus, he has like a million friends. My own brother loved him from like the second they met. That's just the kind of guy Brian is. He requires a lot of attention, can never find anything (seriously, what's up with that), and gets cranky if not fed and watered frequently, but he's the kind of person that everyone loves. He's smart and responsible and funny and dependable and energetic and a bit ADD. He's never cruel or hurtful and he almost always does what he says. He calls to say he'll be late, he's open about every aspect of his life, he's never sketchy or secretive. He's the kind of person you just trust immediately without question because minutes after meeting him you can tell he has this grounded morality that doesn't allow him to be dishonest. Obviously, he's not perfect, but his flaws are things like, he's a bit sloppy and sometimes he gets pouty. These are not tragic flaws and his good qualities far outweigh any flaws he has.

Beyond just Brian, though, there is his family and friends. These are amazing people. They love him and respect him and they support him in the things he wants to do in life. And all of these people have made me feel like part of all that.

So, the wedding...This is where it was reinforced in my head that not only was I marrying the right person, but I was marrying into a great and wonderful family. Brian's family (which to me includes Vince and Kristina) like banded together as this cohesive unit to help pull the whole thing together. Not to take anything away from my brother, his girlfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend because they all came together as part of this giant gang to help bring it all together. It was just amazing to see all these people working to help make our wedding (the whole weekend, really) awesome.

This is how amazing everyone is:

1. Friday, his entire family cam over for the rehearsal dinner. They helped with food, and clean-up and last minute wedding stuff. And when i slam dunked his sister's birthday cake onto the floor (in a most embarrassing display of non-balance ever), she was 100% gracious and everyone laughed and we cleaned it up and the kids ate floor cake.

2. When we needed people to help us set up on Saturday morning, this massive gang of people came over to the Speak Easy at like 8am and just got it done! His dads, his sister, his brother-in-laws, his best friends, their wives, my best friend and her boyfriend, the kids, my brother and his girlfriend, it was amazing, and they all did an amazing job. My favorite picture from that:

Brian's dads, Rich and Phil, and his brother-in-law, Jeff, making bouquets!

3. Brian's sister, Teri, and his niece, Andrea, putting together the greatest flash mob ever to dance at the wedding. OMG. It's the only moment of the entire wedding that I felt regret over not having a videographer. The entire Fergie clan, Teri, JR, Brian's minions, Karen's minions all dancing to Gangnam Style. It was truely amazing and probably my favorite part of the whole night.

4. While Kristy and I were getting ready, her boyfriend helped iron all the minions dress shirts. He just came by to drop something off and we roped him in but without his help, it would not have gotten done. And it may seem like a small thing, but it wasn't because those shirts were in a tragic state.

5. Kristy and Eric and Noah and Adam coming by Sunday morning and helping me and the little minions get the Speak Easy back to normal and cleaning. Brian had to take Gavin to soccer and I could not have done it without them.

6. Just everyone having a good time and dancing and laughing and taking mustache (I provided each guest with a fake mustache) photos in the photobooth.

Overall, it was just a great weekend and a great reminder of the fact that I'm lucky. I sometimes don't really know or understand how I got here to this place of happy normalcy, but I know that I'm lucky.

Jenn daSilva Rowe Warhammer

My blog is practically as rare as seeing Big Foot these days...

2012-09-18T13:50:00.000-04:00

If memory serves...

Unbelievably, Blogger is one of the few sites that my work does not block like the evil internet nazis that they are. And today is NOT the day that I smell like chicken soup! Darn it, how do I always end up with food on my clothes?!?

This blog is brought to you by the realization that I have a crappy memory and blogging is the only way for me to have any idea what went on in my life.

Seriously, it's a sad sad state that my mind is in. I am trying to put together a memory book for Brian as a sort of wedding present, and I can't remember ANYTHING. Like, I know we went on a cruise in Jan 2011 and I know it was in the Caribbean, but hell if i can remember where it stopped. I remember the bike ride to Hell (the town, not the burning inferno) but I have no idea where Hell is. I remember some ruins and well rehearsed iguanas, but not what country we were in. It's a little scary. This of course downward spiraled into the realization that if I don't blog about it, then how will i know it happened? Facebook is worthless for any long term chronicle. It's more a chronicle of my ADD thoughts. Profound thoughts, like, "I could sleep for 20+ hours" and "I need a clone". Not that my blog is much more profound, but it does feel more substantial. Anyway....

The Capture....

All this wedding stuff is starting to take it's toll. I'm pretty sure I've developed a twitch. Like in my whole body. Is it normal that whenever anyone says the word "wedding", I immediately start looking for the nearest exit? Literally, not metaphorically. I'm still me and my psychological responses are pretty straightforward. Impending wedding = nervous = flight instinct = look for actual door. I still have a list of To Dos to get done before next Saturday. Nothing big like "book caterer" or anything, but enough details that when I found out yesterday that the best man didn't have his suit yet, I nearly had a nervous breakdown. It's not helping that as a result of a go cart meets wall crash at his bachelor party, my betrothed can barely walk. Awesome. I feel like I"m much more suited to be a wedding planner, rather than a wedding participant. I enjoy the planning parts, but i'm such a control freak, I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to hand over the reigns to my coordinator on the day of. Meh.

It's funny how I'm at work and they think that I can actually focus on anything work related. That's the problem with working with a group of dudes. They just don't get that my mind is filled with other things right now. Usually, I'm pretty good at compartmentalizing things but in 11 days I'm going to commit my vagina to one person for the rest of my life, so I guess I'm a little distracted. Side Note: I don't know why but I keep thinking how the only things a person commits their entire life to is marriage and imprisonment by law enforcement. Oh, and I guess God. Just saying. So, I guess I'm a little nervous. I mean, I would have probably stayed with Brian until the end of days anyway. I mean, it's not like dating is my favorite thing, I'm also kind of lazy, and Brian doesn't suck. But I guess the idea that it's like documented and I'm all changing my name and stuff makes it seem so official. I mean, I guess it actually will be official or whatever. Speaking of official, why is the paperwork for name change so ridiculous. OMG. I tried to convince Brian that we should both change our last name to something new, like Rowsilva or Warhammer. He didn't go for it. You can't tell me, though, that Brian and Jenn Warhammer doesn't sound awesome. "Hello, we are the Warhammers." "Oh, them? Those are the Warhammers and they are AWESOME!"

Ok, so hopefully I'll have like 1 million photos to post from this wedding. I have photos from all sorts of stuff but I'm sucky about posting them. I really need to get better at this.

Trying to remember everything you've done with someone in the last 3 years is hard. Wow, I really need to keep up with stuff so that I don't forget my whole life! Now to reconstruct it all via Facebook, Blogger, and Xanga!

Jenn - 11 days and I will be Jennifer daSilva Rowe.

Facebook has ruined me...

2012-08-01T09:19:00.001-04:00

Every time I come back to my blog to write something, I can't help but wonder what has happened to impact the amount of blogging I no longer do. There was once a time when I blogged on a regular, almost frequent basis. I've considered the fact that I may have ran out of things to say, but that's laughable in the sense that, um, have you met me, it's unlikely I'd EVER run out of something to say.

I suppose I could blame life and work and the almost husband and step-minions for taking up so much time that I just don't find the time to sit down and get my thoughts together. But that would be a stinking lie, because if I have time to sit around watching all 2 1/4 seasons of Pretty Little Liars, I could certainly find a moment to blog. I can't even blame wedding planning, because other than the invites that I've procrastinated completing, I'm pretty much all set on the wedding front. So, really, what is it that keeps me from blogging?

1. Laziness - really, if I'm honest with myself, this would be the number one reason I don't blog. All the other reasons just feed into this one.
2. Facebook - Though I curse it on a daily basis for it's constantly changing interface and impossible web of navigation and for the fact that it makes very bad decisions on my behalf, it feeds my laziness by allowing me to purge my thoughts in bit size chucks at the moment they flit through my brain. It's the ultimate ADD brain tool. I don't even have to make any sense because my random snippet of thought will be lost in a sea of nonsense within minutes anyway.

Really, those are the only two reasons. I've got plenty to blog about, what with having done Tough Mudder, Zombie Race, wedding planning, vacation in texas and other stuff this summer. But laziness rears it's ugly head and entire months of my life go undocumented. Heck, my training blog would be considered pathetic. It's not like we've stopped working out. Mr. Crazypants has me running every other day and now he wants to start Insanity. The workout, not the state of mind, though i could see how one could get the two confused.

Eventually, I need to post the engagement photos just so that people who don't want to log into pictage can see them. Meh. I'll get around to it. hopefully...

Jenn

Boys are gross...

2012-05-01T17:03:00.000-04:00

List of Things That Boys Ages 10-16 Like...

1. Wearing the same tee shirt every day
2. Farting
3. Cereal
4. Video Games
5. Being Dirty
6. Making a mess 4 seconds after I've cleaned

List of Things That Boys Ages 10-16 Don't Like...

1. Changing their underwear
2. Showering
3. Anything I make for dinner
4. Using their indoor voice
5. Soap
6.Anything I suggest (that's is until they actually do what I've suggested or watch what I've suggested. then i'm like a genius. it's the battle up until that point that gets me)
7. Vegetables
8. Working
9. Helping around the house

Soon, I Can Call Them Step-Minions...

So, the minions are gross. Like totally disgusting. I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't there, they would go the entire 4 days of their weekend visits without changing clothes, underwear, and/or showering. Of course, I can't totally blame them. It's not like Betrothed (formally known as Boyfriend) remembers to tell them to shower. Beyond that, they are still gross. When I ask them to shower, it's like I've asked them to shower using flesh eating acid. Oh, the horrified looks. After they shower, I have to ask if they've changed their underwear because they will put the same gross pair right back on. Seriously, is this normal boy behavior? I'm at a disadvantage, never having been a teenage boy. I showered regularly without being asked. It was sort of my thing, being clean and all. And no one had to remind me to change my underwear because I actually like wearing clean underwear.

And Then They Are Fashionistas...

The same boys who want to wear the same clothes every day and not change their underwear are remarkably fashion conscious. Like last week, Minion 2 liked red, but this week he doesn't. Or the cut of the jeans that fit him. And he won't wear shorts because he doesn't like showing his knees. The oldest (15) will pretty much only wear super hero tee shirts. As opposed to last year, when while at Old Navy I said he should get a Superman Tee because it was cool. But maybe i was just a year ahead of fashion. I personally didn't think super hero tees ever went out of style.

Perhaps I Should Just Be Happy...

I guess I should appreciate the fact that they *mostly* use utensils at the table and that they don't fling feces at me.

Jenn - They are animals, I tell you...

Welcome to 2012 and stuff...

2012-01-04T12:12:00.000-05:00

Quote of the Day: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

Right, Right, I'm still in this world of blogging...

It's not my fault I have an average life of averageness and little to say about it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like I need something to say to blog. Really, I'm just lazy. And...nope, no other reason. Lazy pretty much covers it.

2011: The Best Cupcake

Most likely, no one knows this (because I don't think I really mentioned it to anyone) but I was on a quest last year. A quest that took me to bakeries and bakery counters throughout the greater Indianapolis area. I was determined to find the most delicious cupcake (not baked by me) in the area. It was tough, all those cupcakes I had to eat, most of them only medium. Some were terrible. This one place, a new bakery that had opened up practically walking distance from my house, had the WORST cupcakes. How do you mess up a cupcake? I'll tell you: Bad frosting. It was like wax. And there was way too much. Which sounds crazy, because how can there be TOO much frosting, but when it's bad frosting, there can be too much. I tried all the local bakeries that the Indianer folks had raved about. Meh. Not impressed. Finally, sometime in November, I went to a new Play It Again Sports that had just opened up down the road from work to see if they had any wetsuits (so it must have been before Tough Mudder), and next door was a place called Pat-A-Cakes and Cookies Too. Not being someone who can pass up the chance at a cupcake, I walked in and got a mint chocolate cupcake. OMG. It was sooooo freaking good. The cupcake was slightly larger than a normal sized cupcake. The chocolate cake was soft and moist and delightful. The mint frosting was creamy and there was just the right amount. I think a feel a tear sliding down my cheek just thinking about it. So, best cupcakes in Indianapolis area goes to: Pat-A-Cakes and Cookies Too.

Right, I probably have more time on my hands than I should.

2012: The Best Meatball Sub

2012 brings me to the Quest for the Best Meatball Sub Sandwich. So far, FAIL. We got meatball sandwiches from a place called Goodfella's last night. They were so gross. The failure was of epic proportions. Allow me to start with the bread. It was a freaking hamburger bun. FAIL. The Meatball was all mushy and tasted of soggy dishtowel. The sauce was watery and flavorless. I couldn't have been more disappointed with this sandwich if I tried. I believe that Boyfriend's exact response to the horribleness was "I want to wash my mouth out with poison to get the taste of this sandwich out of it."

I'm not sure who the 90% are that like Goodfella's are, but I'll assume a couple of things that may be affecting the rating. 1. They are liking the one in NY, not the one in Fishers, Indiana. 2. People in Indiana have no clue. 3. People are mostly having the pizza and maybe the pizza doesn't suck as much as all the other food.

So, Goodfells's Fishers, FAIL. We also had a sampler from the place. It included fried raviolis (meh, they were ok), their version of fried mozzarella (which tasted like mozzarella on white bread and the whole thing then being deep fried. It was gross. And I LOVE fried cheese), Garlic bread (how do you mess up GARLIC BREAD? Well, they did. It was soggy, and not really garlicy), Chicken fingers (worst breading award goes to...) and wings. The wings didn't make me want to punch babies, but I tried those last, so pretty much anything would have been good to me at that point. I normally don't flame places this bad, but the amount of disappointment that I suffered from their TERRIBLE meatball sub has motivated me. Plus, this is like the third time we've gotten food from there and it's been awful every time. Apparently, we are not good at learning lessons.

New Year's Resolutions

I don't think that I normally make resolutions. If I do, I guess I forget them since I can't remember any. Oh, wait, I have a blog! I'll take a look...yup, since the start of my blogging, no resolutions. Except for 2008, when I apparently decided that resolutions were needed. And 2005, there was no resolutions but a story that makes me seem a bit trashy. What can I say? I was a player once upon a time before I became this suburban step-Jenn that you all now know.

Basement Renovations

Well, the basement renovations begin in a couple of weeks. Once completed, there will be an addition bathroom, two bedrooms (one will be used as a family/workout room), a storage room, a wet bar, an area where we will eventually put something pool table like, a laundry area and some closets. Um, our basement is huge it would seem. It will be nice to be able to use the downstairs and actually walk out the basement doors into the back yard. Though, people are questioning my choice to have the laundry be in the basement. Right now it's in a small room coming in from the garage and it's cramped. I'll leave the hook-ups that are there for future residents, but I don't really mind walking laundry up from the basement. I've been doing that for most of my life (when I wasn't doing laundry at a laundry mat). I guess the new trend is to have first floor laundry to go with the first floor master bedroom. Meh. A few extra flights of stairs per week aren't going to kill me. I should take some before pictures. So I can remember the world before a finished basement.

Mostly, I'm just excited for an excuse to go to IKEA this weekend to get the bathroom sink and cabinet. I love a good IKEA trip.

That's all I got for now...
Jenn- I got a keyboard for my iPad for Christmas so I may actually make more of a blogging effort...but don't hold me to that...

A few words on technology...

2011-11-17T10:01:00.001-05:00

Quote of the Day: "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity" - George Carlin

iPad, Android, Fire...It's a battle and I'm in the fray...

So, those of you who know me (by "know" I mean, "have read my blog, spoken to me on at least one occasion, and/or stalk me quietly on the internet") probably have noticed that I'm a bit obsessed with the technology. To be more specific, I'm obsessed with gadgets. In an effort to bring my views to the larger (like 5 people) audience, here are a few things that I'd like to share:

1. Kindle Fire: Let's just be honest about what the Kindle Fire really is...another way for Amazon to collect information about you so that they can do more focused targeted marketing. Don't let the Fire trick you into thinking it's anything more than fancy spyware. The Silk browser funnels all of your web browsing thru the Amazon data center under the guise of making browsing faster by caching frequently visited sites, blah blah. The reality is that it may save you a few milliseconds here and there but the trade off is that Amazon will know everything you do while surfing the web on that thing. I love Amazon as much as any 30-something year old girl with a obsessive love for shopping via one-click could, but I feel that Amazon knows enough about my interests based on all the other ways they track my every move. That is the only reason I can see for why Amazon would bother with making the Fire. I mean, sure, I guess they are afraid that people will use the iPad and start buying books from Apple, but I can tell you from experience that Apple doesn't have nearly close to the selection of books and there is a Kindle App, so it's pretty much like having a Kindle but that can do other stuff. I mean, Amazon has already put Borders out of business, what more do they want from this world? If I was Amazon, until the day that Apple suddenly decides to get into the business of selling diapers and other stuff, I would focus more on making deals with publishers to ensure that Amazon keeps the largest selection of ebooks. The Fire is also significantly inferior to other non-iPad tablets on the market. Read the reviews. I'm not just making this stuff up. Again, don't get me wrong, I LOVE AMAZON. I just don't need them tracking me all the time. Some of the time is enough for me.

2. Windows based phones: hahahahahhahahahahahaha...I'm sorry, but it's just funny to think that these still exist. In all fairness, I have never even seen one of the newer ones in real life. I'm sure that they work perfectly fine, if you ignore the fact that the best Windows device is 2 years behind the current iPhone and Android devices. My last windows phone was over two years ago and I practically threw it into a fire after getting my first Droid. It crashed all the time and basically made me crazy. I guess Samsung, HTC, and Nokia are hedging their bets by making Windows based phone devices or maybe they have to because they signed some crazy deal with Microsoft years ago that forces them to continue making Windows phones. The reality is that Microsoft should just continue collecting the money on it's patents (pretty much EVERYONE pays Microsoft since they've managed to patent everything) and get out of the mobile OS business.

3. Android: I think most everyone knows that I heart my Android Phone. I won't bother doing an Android vs. iPhone comparison. They are two different devices, both with their pros and cons, and are geared toward different user types. There is reason the iPhone is so popular. It's great. I can't say that it isn't without being a stinking liar. It's probably the best phone for someone who has never used a smart phone before, someone who has always used other Apple products, someone who isn't tech savvy, and/or someone who enjoys mind control (hahahahahaha...just kidding...a little). I love my Android phone because I feel like I have more control over it. I can mold it to suit my own vision of how it should work. But, Android still has it's bugs and it does help to have some tech savvieness up ones sleeve and a few googling skills for the times of need. Not that there are a lot of those. I don't have issues all that often and the ones I do have are probably more due to me messing with my phone than anything else. Android based phones are also good for those who do not want to potentially drink the Apple kool-aid and submit to the evil empire. I have an iPad, so I could really swing either way.

4. Droid Bionic and 4G: The Droid Bionic is the greatest phone ever in my opionion. Duel core processors, 1GB of Ram, dedicated graphics processing unit, 4G...it's like my heaven phone. Of course the Motorola Razr is going to be slightly more ninja-rific with it's Kevlar cover, Super AMOLED screen, and a little bit faster duel processors, but it's basically just a skinnier version of the Bionic. The Bionic is a fine piece of phone. It's fast and responsive and will softly sing you to sleep at night. Sometimes I just stare at it in disbelief. It's like a computer in a phone. It's awesome. Also, if you have not experienced the speeds of 4G, then you have no idea. I'm going to go full on Nerd (like I already haven't...) for a moment...Sitting at my desk at work, I just did a speed test. I am getting 20.78Mbps download speeds, 13.81Mbps upload speeds. ON MY PHONE. I used my phone as a wifi hotspot in the car with the kids a few weeks ago. All three connected their iPods and streamed tv shows. It was re-donk-u-lous. It's faster than my internet at home. To be fair, we need to get a new wireless router because the one we have can only push 12Mbps even though our wired connection is like 18Mbps. But even at Max (which with Uverse can be a crapshoot), the Uverse is only 18Mbps download and like 2Mbps upload, whereas my phone at home gets 25Mbps download and like 20Mbps upload, which means that they are not capping upload speeds which is INSANE. 4G is no freaking joke. It's still new, though, so it doesn't have the traffic that 3G does, so I guess we'll see how it goes over the next year or two, as more phones jump onto the 4G bandwagon. But if you like to be able to, like, watch movies from Netflix while waiting in line at the grocery store, 4G is the way to go. Assuming you have unlimited data. Without unlimited data, you are totally effed. Last month, I used 5GBs of data. This month, I'm on track to use just as much. Also, the battery life isn't awesome when on 4G. It's easy to switch to 3G on the phone for when I'm not surfing or need an lightening fast internet connection, but on 4G I get about 4 hours of continuous use. This is why Apple did not go 4G on their new iPhone 4S. They couldn't figure out the battery life issue, either. I live with it, though, because sometimes you learn to make sacrifices for the things you love.

5. OverDrive Media Console: My new favorite phone app. I love listening to audiobooks, but buying audiobooks can be quite costly. Seriously, they are like $20-40. It's nuts. My local library (of which I am a member) offers audiobooks (and ebooks). The OverDrive Media Console app connects to my library and allows me to check out books and download them directly to my phone. It's so freaking great. There is also a desktop version. The only con is that Android does not support .wma file playback at this time, so I can only download books that are in mp3 format (the app doesn't even show the wma files when I search my library). Any book I want to listen to that is only available in .wma format, I have to download via the desktop application and then use other software to convert the file to mp3 and then load on my phone. This is not an issue for iPhone users. I belive that iPhone will play wma files, but i'm not sure. I've never tested it out. Maybe I'll see if Boyfriend will let me try on his fancy new iPhone...

6. iPad: I admit it, I love the darn thing. It does everything I could ever dream of. I can watch Netflix, read books, play angry birds, check email, save the world from alien invasion...anything. There is a reason people are willing to pay more for the iPad than for any other tablet device. Because it's worth it. I hate saying it, I am actually feeling pain from saying it. It's just that good. Since I got the iPad, I almost never bust out my laptop at night. Just to make you understand how huge that is, I used to sleep with my laptop. Now I really only bust it out at night if I want to play a game or I have to do work or other typing intensive activity. Or watch something in Flash. I guess there's that. Otherwise, I use my iPad for most things. It's just that awesome.

7. Mark Bittman How to Cook Everything: This is my new favorite iPad App. It's a cookbook but so much more. It's got like a billion recipes, plus instructions and explanations of all the basics, like the differences between types of knives and pots and pans, basic ingredients to always have stocked, etc. Also, when you find a recipe you like, you can click a little shopping cart and create shopping lists. So, you could plan out all your dinners for the week, make a list, and check things off as you get them at the store. It's got timers for when you cook and all sorts of functions I have yet to discover. It's amazing.

Ok, so I think I've nerd bombed everyone enough for one day...

Jenn - Don't judge me...

All it really takes is a good german bakery to make me blog...

2011-10-17T12:33:00.003-04:00

I know, I know, there is a chance that I am now dead to you...

I fear that none of my friends will ever see this blog, since my main source of informing folks of a new blog is via Facebook. As we all know, Facebook has decided that IT will decide what is and is not important in our lives, so if it's has determined that my blog is unimportant, none of my friends will ever see it in the status updates. Of course, we all think we'd like to figure out how we can take the power back, but to navigate the complexity that is Facebook these days requires an advanced degree in Chaos Theory, which I fear not so many of us have. Alas, I will blog on in hopes that someone someday will be able to see my ramblings once again.

Mmmmm...Cake...

So, there is this awesome German Bakery not to far from us. I believe it's called Evil German Delights. Or The Heidelberg Haus. It was even on Food Network. The cakes from this place make my cakes seem like the sad attempts of a two year old to bake in an Easy Bake Oven. Omg. It's ridiculous. We took the kids there this weekend and everyone got a different type of cake and each one was unbelievable. Of course, the slices are small, but that's mostly because there is only some much butter any one person can eat in one sitting. I had this Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Cake and there's a good chance that I saw Jesus. It was cake AND cheesecake. Together. In one cake. I'm just saying, Germans know how to throw down when it comes to cake.

Rocketman...

Matt (11) is doing Rocket Club at school right now. I'm not sure who was more excited about it, him or me. This is the third (and last) week of Rocket Club. He's built all sort of rockets: bottle rocket, straw rocket, foam rocket, water rocket, one that seems to be made of duct tape. I believe the goal is for the kids to learn about physics in a fun way. I'm all about it. This weekend, I got to help him build his model rocket that we got him, which will use solid (model) rocket fuel. It was fun. I may be encouraging this sort of thing in the future. Any excuse to build a rocket! I'm terrible at memorializing these moments, though, because I totally forgot to take a picture. Arg!

Replacing an iPod Touch 4th Gen Screen...

Gavin (15) smashed his ipod screen a few weeks back in a fit of glee. Or he dropped it on the ground. I've heard it both ways. Whatever the scenario, kid's iPod was in a bad way. We got a replacement screen thing on Amazon to do the fix at home. It was like $10 vs. whatever Apple Store would have charged. Brian thought it would be pretty straight forward, since he had done it on his iPhone 3gs not so long ago. Hahahahahahahahahaha....fast forward 3 hours later, iPod is in a bunch of pieces, and he actually asks me to take a look at it. I had stayed far far away from the situation, because, well, he's him and I'm me and we are both a little pig headed. But after a few hours of hearing him muttering, I asked if he would like me to take a look at it and he said yes. It was a momentous moment. So, now I'm looking at this iPod all take apart, without actually having been the one to take it apart. That's always fun, because then you have no idea what parts go back in what order. It's like a $200 puzzle. Turns out, replacing the screen on an iPod touch 4th Gen is NOT AT ALL like replacing the screen on an iPhone 3gs. iPhone 3gs screen replacement took like 30 minutes. iPod touch took like 5 hours. I think the main issue for Brian was that there are 4 tiny little circuit things that need to be connected and three of them are underneath the main circuit board, which can't be totally lifted out without ripping some fragile connections to shreds and Brian has giant man hands. Fortunately, I have small child hands and enough McGuyver like thinking to bust out the tweezers. We got everything connected and back together, turned it on and...the screen would blink on white and then shut off almost immediately. UHHHHH!!!! I look the darn thing apart and rechecked the connections 3 times before i had to give up. I just could not figure out what was wrong. Everything looked connected. At this point it's 10:30pm, Gavin is massively bummed and we are thinking that we may just have to replace the darn thing. Brian had not done a back up, so he plugged it into the computer and that part was working. iTunes recognized the iPod and started to do the back up. About 15 minutes later, he looks at it and goes "OMG IT'S WORKING!!!". Turns out the damn thing just needed to be charged! So, SUCCESS. We did it. Future screen replacement endeavors will be significantly easier now that I know what's what. And with three boys and three iPods, there is a pretty good chance that I'll need that skill in the future. Heck, we even got a hug from Gavin, he was so happy. That was a momentous occasion. First, he's 15, so he doesn't really do the whole hugging thing with his dad so much anymore. Second, I've known the kid 2 years now and that's the first time I've been permitted a hug. It was nice. It's like having a family. I'm almost like a real person now!

I'm sure I have other stories to tell, but I can't think of them at the moment. Until next time...

Jenn - Oh, so electronics require power...who knew...

Dear General Hospital...

2011-08-26T14:21:00.000-04:00

Dear General Hospital,

The last few weeks, I've been trying to catch up with episodes dating back to April. So, I'm wondering, GH, what the heck is going on? After 75 years or so of Luke being the awesome fun-loving lush we all love, you decide NOW is the time to get all up in his grill and intervene? Really? Who's dumbass idea was that? Sure, you got to show Anthony Geary's range of emotions and stuff, but seriously? He wasn't even drunk the night of Jake's death. It's all so stupid. But then, after you decide to commit to this horrible storyline and have the intervention, you totally blow the opportunity to show some awesome old footage. I mean, really? You've got the original Lucky. What's the point if not to be able to bust out some awesome old school footage every chance you get? Ugh.

Thank you for getting rid of Brenda. I know that once upon a time we all LOVED Brenda, but that time has passed and she's just sort of annoying now.

The whole Sonny running around with his gun all willy nilly is also getting old. Like I just saw the episode where he bursts into Robin's house and "accidentally" grazes her with a bullet meant to shoot Jax. How is Sonny not in jail? Seriously? It's not like he's this criminal mastermind. He runs around, waving his gun at anyone who annoys him, and now he's just shooting people in front of witnesses? What the heck? Though, the best moment ever was Robin and Patrick's kid, Emma, telling daddy that "mommy got shot" when he walks into his house. I don't know why, but it was funny. Though, when did that kid get old enough to start talking?

Next, is this whole Jackel PI bullshit. Well, I'll admit, occasionally it's amusing. But mostly it's just annoying. Move on already.

Lulu and Maxie need more screen time together. Those two can pull off some great, funny dialogue if anyone would ever give them the chance.

Speaking of Lulu, following her dad to Florida and working at a whore house? REALLY?!?!? Thankfully, something tragic happened with my DVR and like a week or two of episodes were gone or not recorded so I missed most of that story line. She was there, then suddenly her and Dante were chillin' at Helena's mansion. I never want to see Lulu working at a whore house again. it's dumb.

Since I already mentioned Helena...please bring her back. It's been so long since there has been some good old fashioned Cassadine mischief. At this point, I would accept them resurrecting Stavros somehow if it meant some crazy Cassadine fun.

I remarked about this on facebook, but I'll say it again. The farewell scene between Nik and Lucky was AWESOME. Nik has been annoying the crud out of me but that was one of the best scenes I've seen on that show in a while. Though, I guess they are bringing Nik back, so it was for naught, but it was still awesome. I do wish they had busted out some old footage, though, since both the original actors were in the scene.

GH, have you run out of all imagination? The whole "tragic storm car accident" story every 6 months is getting old. I yearn for a good hospital fire, hotel hostage situation...anything but another car accident.

Which leads me to...how many friggin head injuries can Jason suffer from in one life time? I mean, seriously, is there NO ONE ELSE in Port Charles (other than stupid Siohban, who's looking to break Jason's record) that can get hit in the head? I mean, when was the last time someone had really good amnesia? Even Micheal woke up from his gun shot wound to the head with his memory more or less intact. Maybe you could give Carly or Sonny amnesia. Turn them into sane people who don't run around being stupid all the time. There's a thought.

I never used to like Sam and Jason together, but this time around I guess I sort of do. Who knew? And I totally want a lug nut necklace. I wonder if that will become a fashion now.

Let's see...what else...oh, are they trying to set Carly up with Shawn? Cause they have ZERO chemistry and it would just be weird. Oh, Siobhan needs to go. They basically keep trying to kill her anyway, all she seems to do is follow Liz around and yell at her, and she's annoying. I mean, she's borderline psycho about the way she's up in Liz's face constantly. Also, I wish they had shown more old Liz and Lucky flashbacks during Lucky's 17 thousand hour drug high. I think I just love flashbacks.

I don't know why, but the teen drama lover in me would LOVE to see Kristina with Ethan. I just think it would be fun. They keep saying how he's soooo much older than her but...hmmm...Abby is like 40 years older than Micheal. Ethan is like 4 years older than Kristina (at least in real life). Also, he's all "i've lived this hard life, i'm an old soul". Um, Kristina was kidnapped as a child by Faith, has a mobster father who nearly blew her up last year when she was fake dating Johnny, had a crazy girl hitting boyfriend almost kill her, her brother was shot in the head, hmmm...I don't think she's quite the sheltered little lamb everyone keeps trying to say she is. Anyway, I think they would be good for each other.

I kind of miss crazy Dr. Lisa. I guess she's in a coma so they can bring her back at anytime. Oh, and Robin as Chief-of-Staff is a bit on the unrealistic side. She's like 34. Come on. Monica still works at the hospital. What about her? I realize that she has had so much botex that her face doesn't move at all, but that's ok. We can infer her emotions from the look in her eyes.

Dante...don't care...Olivia...don't care....Johnny...don't care....Anthony...don't care...Steve...don't care....that's about it, I think. Anyway, I still have like the last few weeks to watch, so we'll see what happens!

Jenn

I'm here....

2011-08-26T07:55:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day: "Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild." - Ron Burgundy

In case anyone is wondering....

I'm still here stalking all of your blogs for updates. I'm just being lazy about my updates. But since I was awoken at 5am by work for a production issue and I am now awake, I thought I'd bust out a quick update.

A few things have been going on. I've been training (http://itrainthereforeiaminpain.blogspot.com/). Well, I use that term loosely these days. It's more like I've been applying excessive force to the bones in my feet, thus causing microfractures in my heel. I suppose it could be called "training" by some. I mean, it's not like I purposefully set out to break my heel. It was just a fantastic side effect of this yogging thing. So, the Darth Boot has made a fantastical comeback.

Some of you may recognize the Darth Boot (See: http://jpnkn.xanga.com/566565494/things-i-didnt-know/). It made it's first appearance in 2007 when I tore the ligament in my ankle. Fortunately (well, i'm not sure if "fortunately" is the appropriate word but...), I had the foresight to keep the boot after I was done using it circa 2007. It cost me $500, making it one of my most valuable possessions at the time, so I kept it. I figured that I'm me and that meant there were reasonably good odds that I would require it's use again at some point. I'm not going to sugar coat it, I'm a total spasm, possibly a klutz, and it was not unlikely that I would do something to injure myself again in the future. Plus, did I mention the darn thing cost $500? For that much money, I was going to make it a new family heirloom. I'm fortunate that walking cast technology hasn't improved so dramatically in the last 4 years, so when the doctor said that I would need the boot for my cracked heel and I was like "funny, you should say that cause I just happen to have one in my trunk...", he thought of that as good news and didn't make me buy another one.

Getting to the story of the injury...

I'd started having some massive pain in my heel (and what I thought was the lower part of my ankle) while running in Chicago a few weeks ago. We were there for Lollapalooza (oh, yeah, I went to that this year). Being there for Lolla did not stop us from our training. Noooooo, not us because we are serious athletes. So, I started to have pain during running which only got worse from all the walking around the city and at Lolla. By the middle of the week following Lolla, I couldn't run at all and by the week after that, I was not walking so well. The pain was getting worse, things were swelling, and I was in tears by the end of each day. So, I went to the doctor. He initially tried taping a pad to the bottom of my foot to provide more arch support to see if that would relieve things, but after a few days of trying that out, I was like "um, NO". So, step two was yesterday. That involved a bright pink soft cast and the Darth Boot. He'll take the cast off monday to see if the swelling is down and we'll see what happens from there. This could dramatically affect my time in the triathlon in three weeks...assuming he doesn't put a complete halt on that. He sort of has already but I've yet to accept defeat. I can still swim and bike without pain, and assuming the Darth Boot doesn't disqualify me, I really have no problem hobbling the 3 miles to finish. If I still have a cast of any sort, though, that will put a stop to things, since I can't bike with a cast. We'll see.

In other news...

Let's see...what have I been up to? Well, I'm pretty sure I owe like 15 thousand pictures of the day. I'll have to see about that at some point. I've also become slightly obsessed with Republicans. Not to say that I'm becoming a Republican. I'm just obsessed, fascinated, and slightly scared of them. Except Ron Paul. I sort of love him. But he's not really a Republican, so I think it's ok for me to love him. Apparently, there are a few others who are loving him, because recent polls are showing him to be the only Republican candidate who could beat Obama in the election. But polls are polls and who knows how accurate they are. I've never been polled. How does one even get polled? That came out wrong...I meant, how does one get involved in polling...wait...that also didn't sound right...nevermind.

I watched the Republican debates August 11. They were...entertaining. I'm a bit annoyed with Fox though. They like to say how fair they are but I think they are stinking liars. Or maybe I just don't watch enough news to have realized that sensationalism and obvious bias have become truth these days. I did not like the fact that they displayed each candidate's religion as part of their stats. I feel that it's irrelevant and potentially prejudicial. Wasn't one of the reasons this country was like created so that folks could have some religious freedom? Thus, telling me that Mitt is Mormon or Cain is Southern Baptist is just a way to potentially bias me for or against them but otherwise irrelevant. I don't know. I just think it's not cool. Also, I'm so sick of the abortion and gay marriage topics being brought up. Neither have anything to do with the running of the government. Actually, gay marriage would potentially benefit the federal government. Based on my understanding of the tax rates shown here: http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/federal-income-tax-brackets-and-marginal-rates/, married people get totally ganked. "Ganked" meaning, taxed more than single people. Thus, the more marriages there are, the more federal income tax the government gets to collect. The more taxes collected by the Federal government, the more opportunity for them to totally abuse funds, er, I mean catch up with debt. So, fiscally speaking, gay marriage across the national would be financially beneficial to the country. Other than that, it's none of the federal governments damn business. I'm just saying. I like Ron Paul's view. He's all "doesn't matter what my personal view is on the matter. Marriage shouldn't be the business of the federal government". He goes even further to say that he doesn't understand why anyone needs a license to get married. My view is that marriage is a contract between people. That contract entitles people to certain things (like benefits, property, decision making rights, etc). It shouldn't matter who's a part of the contract. Heck, if 5 people want to all marry each other, it should just require a more complicated contract to clearly define who's got what rights as part of that contractual agreement. Beyond that, I don't think ANY of us has the right to judge or try to force our own moral beliefs on others as long as those others are not inflicting violence or physical harm or trying to take my personal property.

Freedom, people, it's called Freedom. And I'm told this country was built on it. I did a little research (I occationally do that) and guess what word is NOT in the constitution (you know, that document that this country is based on)? Marriage. It's not mentioned one single time. Not even to define that people could get married at all. One could argue that any type of Marriage recognized by the federal government is unconstitutional. I'm just saying. I get pretty fired up about this because the reality is that the politicians LOVE bringing up these sorts of inflammatory "morality" topics at election time. Heck, they are even talking about ADDING a marriage amendment. And though the likeliness of that ever happening is low, talk of it is enough to swing votes and it's stupid. Because, BTW, whether you support gay marriage or not, the moment you support there being any kind of constitutional amendment that defines something like marriage, which is a personal act and shouldn't be the business of the FEDERAL government, you open up the door to all sorts of ways that the government can start setting about rules that limit everyone's personal liberties. And at some point, one of those rules could affect you and then you'll be all "crap, I should really have given a little more thought to that whole Marriage amendment thing because now I'm not allowed to have more than one child because the Federal government decided that morally, multiple children per household is not good for the overall welfare of the country." That might seem like a ridiculous example, but is it really? See also: China. Anyway, I've gone off on this rant because I just think that instead of focusing on these "moral" issues, the candidates should be focused on things that are a little more relevent, like, hmmmmm, I hear there's a problem with people getting jobs and that the US owes money to a few people. I wonder if that could be important?!

Speaking of freedom being taken away...

I was listening to the radio the other day and the song You Found Me by The Fray was on. So, one of the lyrics goes like this:

"I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, 'Where you been?" He said, 'Ask anything.' "

Except that the line "all alone, smoking his last cigarette" was bleeped out of the song. Well, not bleeped out but cut out. So there was like this weird empty space. They edited it out. I was like "what?!?!" Now they edit out references to smoking? Or was this specifically edited to remove the reference to God smoking? Either way, when did that start happening? When did "smoking" become a curse word? I find this level of censorship a bit alarming. I mean, if people think that editing out that line is going to keep a kid from running out and smoking a cigarette or that keeping the verse would cause a kid to run out and smoke a cigarette, I fear that the collective has it's head up it's ass. I mean, seriously, I found it disturbing.

Jenn - I believe I've ranted enough for one morning...

A work filled weekend...

2011-08-01T11:47:00.001-04:00

“I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...” - Mitch Hedberg

We finally paint a room...

So, it's been over a year since we bought the house and we've only managed to get the kids rooms, the upstairs family room, and the kids bathroom painted. The rest of the house is still the beige color it was at time of purchase. I finally couldn't take it anymore, so we decided to paint the master bedroom. We've been randomly picking paint color samples over the past 6 or so months and putting blocks of color on the walls to see what we like. We made a decision about 2 months ago but couldn't find a good weekend to get it done. So, I put it on the schedule.

Saturday: We did our bike and swim workouts (see: http://itrainthereforeiaminpain.blogspot.com/ for an update on that). We then head out to buy the paint at about noon. Of course, we picked Glidden colors, which is sold at Walmart and I guess there was like a paint buying frenzy last week or Saturday morning, because all the local Walmarts where out of the type of paint we wanted to use. We went home and cleared out the room, while trying to come up with how to solve this dilema. Fortunately, I had the color chips and Lowes was able to match them. We were determined to get those colors! Glidden Blue-Grey Slate and Pale Jade. We also got it into our head that we wanted a ceiling fan for the bedroom. We always like a fan on and there was already wiring for it. So, trip to Lowes ended up being a few hours of us looking at ceiling fans, trying to decide which one we liked best. We ended up with this one:

By the time we got home, there was only enough time to get one wall prepped and painted (the dark wall). Boyfriend started putting the ceiling fan together, only to realize halfway through that the glass for the light was broken. So, he gave up on that for the night, and I got the dark wall painted.

Sunday: We got up at 9am and got started. I started taping off for the other three walls, while Boyfriend went back to Lowes to get a replacement for the broken part of the fan and to bring me some breakfast. He's such a good hunter/gatherer when he puts his mind to it. He got back and got the light together and up while I painted the other three walls. We hung around for a bit while paint dried and then he went out to scare us up some dinner while I painted the second coat on the light colored walls. We finally got everything done and the room put together at like 11:30pm. That was rough, because not only did we not have time to do our workout, but he had to get up at 4:30am for his flight to Boston for work. I'm sure he's very tired!

Pictures....

Boyfriend doing something manly in preparation.

I forgot to take the before pictures while the furniture was still in there.

Don't look at the bad picture in the Bathroom. It came with the house.

All the primed spots are where there were random paint color samples.

I love the door to the deck, even though we barely use it right now.

Ceiling fan is up!

Art and pictures on the walls is Phase 2.

The dark wall.

That's closer to what the color looks like in real life.

TV will be moving out to the living room but I'm not ready yet!

I really like those colors together.


Lucy is all confused about the changes.

Domo is art!

Now I just have to catch up on my working out!

Jenn - Very busy weekend!!!

And there as even a guy in a half shirt...

2011-07-20T17:29:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day: "Don't put your wand there , boy!" roared Moody. "What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"
"Who d'you know who's lost a buttock?" the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly.
"Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!" growled Mad-Eye. "Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore...." He stumped off toward the kitchen. "And I saw that," he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling. - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Pictures of the Day...

Picture of the Day #57: This is what one would see at a Yes/Styx concert. I didn't think anyone would believe me if I just told you about it.

Picture of the Day #58: Here we are, having the fun.

Picture of the Day #59: Boyfriend is a wild and crazy guy!

Picture of the Day #59: I had to get a desert plant so that I could finally have flowers that can survive this heat!

Picture of the Day #60: Treebeard seems to be doing well in this hot humid land of Indiana.

Picture of the Day #61: Boyfriend is totally rocking out in this picture. It's hard to tell his "totally rocking out face" from his "what the hell are we doing here" face.

Um, so we went to see Yes/Styx last night...

I don't know if I find it more alarming that my Boyfriend is old enough to remember Yes and Styx or that he actually knows all their songs. Just saying...

I guess you could say that the evening was, er, interesting. I knew it would be, so I made sure to take notes. To begin, last week Boyfriend and were IMing during the day when he asked if I would like to go see Yes/Styx. He was offered free tickets. Before I could respond with "who are they", he IM'd me that he had taken the tickets and that we were going. Um, sweet?

We didn't have an evening workout, so it was our night to do whatever we wanted and we chose to go to the concert. I figured I would find entertainment at some level. Well, when we got there, the evening started off a bit awkward. We bumped into a friend of ours who was there with someone we used to be friends with (someone I used to be very good friends with until he totally stabbed me repeatedly in the back and I refuse to be friends with someone I can't trust), so that was slightly uncomfortable. But we moved past that and got inside and found ourselves a spot on the lawn.

We got there just in time for Yes to start. I had no idea who this band was and upon seeing them wondered exactly how old the members were. The guitar player looked to be about 75 years old. If you look Yes up in wikipedia, the picture is from 1977. That also happens to be the year I was born. So they are pretty old. They are all in their 60s. So, anyway, I didn't know any of the songs until they sang Owner of a Lonely Heart, which I recognized from very early childhood. The guitar player could still jam out, but the lead singer had seen better days, for sure.

My favorite part of the event is that it takes place in the middle of a cornfield. The Verizon Wireless Music Center in Noblesville, IN is literally in the middle of a corn field. I took a picture of it with Boyfriend's phone, but he has yet to figure out how to use the complicated technology that involves uploading pictures to shared albums, so I don't have the picture yet. Perhaps, one day, my Boyfriend, who owns an IT company will actually figure out how to use technology. He hates when I say that. Hahahahahahaha...anyway, It was in the middle of a corn field.

The other highlight was the spotting of the two guys in their cut off jean shorts, home made half shirts, bandannas, and work boots, dancing with each other at the concert. They are pictured about in Picture #57. I just can't make this shit up. It's real!

Styx was not going to be on until 9:30pm, and based on our inside intel, Mr. Roboto was not on the set list, so we left after Yes. There is only so much early 80's nostalgia I can take before enough is enough. I couldn't name any Styx songs either. So, we went home and read and slept because I'm a totally wild person who likes to be in bed by 10pm.

Jenn - Gotta love the 80s...NOT.

And so it ends...

2011-07-15T14:39:00.000-04:00

The books...
I still remember the first time I saw a Harry Potter book. It was Christmas break 1998 and I was back in NJ visiting. I was 21. I walked into the Borders near the Bridgewater Commons Mall. This was a time when I still walked into real Bookstores and would spend hours just looking at books. At the time The Hobbit was my favorite book (still is), and I had just had a class in Children's literature at college. I was an Elementary Ed major at that time, a time before computers would become the central focus in my life, and I was on the look out for a new children's book in the fantasy realm. And there it was. Harry Potter and the Sorcer's Stone, sitting on that first table of books they have right as you walk in. It had been out for a few months by then and I had never heard of it, but the cover art by Mary GrandPre got my attention. That was it. The cover art is what drew me into something that would become bigger than any of could have imagined.

June 1999 - 22 years old, living in Michigan, I spent an entire Saturday afternoon reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on my couch.

September 1999 - 22 years old, still in Michigan, another Saturday afternoon spent reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban on my couch

July 2000 - 23 years old, back in NJ, living in Ewing, another Saturday, same couch, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. First time Harry Potter book made me cry (Cedric).

June 2003 - 26 years old, Bridgewater, NJ, on a cruise, Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. Second time Harry Potter book made me cry (Sirius)

July 2005 - 28 years old, Neptune, NJ, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I couldn't wait to read it so I was reading it on the train each day back and forth from NYC. I had to take the dust jacket off because everyone who saw me reading kept almost giving away the big secret. I avoided all media so as not to know what the big reveal was. Third time Harry Potter book made me cry (Dumbledore). I think I also threw the book.

July 2007 - 30 years old, Asbury Park, NJ. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I spent an entire weekend shut in my house reading this book. I cried a bunch of times, since Rowlings was just killing things off all over the place. When I was finished, I remember feeling sad. 10 years I'd been reading those books, most of them more than once, and that was it. There were still movies to come, though.

The Movies...
We've watched these kids grown up, some have grown up with them. 10 years. That's a long time. These characters are so real to me. Through the books and movies, they are living, breathing beings that for over a third of my life have been part of my life.

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 last night. ***SPOILER ALERT***If you do not wish to know about the movie, stop reading!!!

I'd like to start by saying that I think they did a great job with all of the movies. It's easy to sit back and say "I would have done this differently or that differently". It can't be an easy task to take something with such a rabid following and put it out there as a film, knowing that every frame, every word, every decision will be scrutinized. That being said...

The Good

The two main parts that I was looking for in this movie was the visit to Gringott's and the redemption of Severus Snape. Of course I expected to see the battle at Hogwart's but I couldn't imagine they would skip that, so I was assuming it would be there. I figured they wouldn't skip Gringott's because they had to get the Hufflepuff horcrux, but I wasn't sure how they were going to do it. It was pretty well done. Of course, watching it, it became obvious that they would never have skipped such a great opportunity for parts that would look great in 3D. I did not see the movie in 3D, but I could imagine that when all the treasure started multiplying and the curses where blowing up rock, and the dragon was flying, I bet it looked great in 3D. (Special Applause goes to Helena Bonham Carter for some of this. Hermione has to drink the polly juice potion to look like Bellatrix Lestrange and so Helena Bonham Carter had to act like Hermione acting like Bellatrix. She was AWESOME.)

Snape. I honestly believe that Alan Rickman deserves an Oscar. He has spent 10 years on this character, making us hate Snape and wonder who's side he's really on, the way that Rowlings meant it to be. 10 years and in a matter of moments, turning it around perfectly to make you understand that he's the real hero in all of this. The knowledge of who he really was and his motivations and why he did all the things he did and what it all cost him was one of the greatest parts written by Rowlings. Alan Rickman conveyed all of it so convincingly and perfectly, it was almost as if he was actually Severus Snape and that Rowlings simply wrote about him. I love Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint, but Alan Rickman steals the show for me. I was very pleased that they kept this key part in the movie and really did it justice.

"Not my daughter, YOU BITCH!" - The crowd went friggin' WILD when Mrs. Weasley opened up a can of Whoop Ass on Bellatrix Lestrange. It was great.

Neville (the actor looks about 35 in this movie) has his moment.

Ron in the epilogue part. It's too funny how they aged him.

The Medium

They changed some of the Hogwarts stuff. Like not showing how Hagrid gets captured by Voldemort. You don't even see Hagrid until suddenly there he is, tied up in the woods with the Death Eaters.

There is no woo-hoo moment when Harry defeats Voldemort. They battle alone, Harry wins, and then he's walking around the great hall in Hogwarts and it's obvious everyone knows it's over because they are drinking coffee but no one really says anything. It was sort of weird. I sort of got it, but still sort of strange.

I think they changed the part a bit about how Harry figures out where the Ravenclaw tiara thing is but it was ok.

The very dramatic things that happen each time they destroyed a horcrux was obviously for the benefit of 3D and not for any other real purpose. If you remember, when they destroyed Tom Riddle's journal with the Basilisk fang in Chamber of Secrets, only a bunch of ink poured out. In the last two movies, everytime they destroy a horcrux, craziness ensues.

The Unfortunate

Not a single thing about Kreecher (the Black's house elf) becoming all good and happy and leading the house elves to help defend Hogwarts is included.

No Neville's grandmother. I really wanted to see that.

Barely any Aberforth Dumbledore stuff. He's in it (and played by a reletively big actor), but there's nothing to tell us why him and Albus were at odds at all. Just him helping them into Hogwarts then showing up to help fight.

No Teddy Tonks snogging with Bill and Fleur's daughter on the train at the end.

So what's my opionion...

Near the end of the movie, after the battle of Hogwarts is over, Voldemort has been defeated and it's just Harry, Hermione, and Ron standing in the ruins of the stone open hallway/bridge place that they seem to end up at in the end of many of the movies, the three of them are looking out. I have to assume they are looking out at the ruins of Hogwarts because the scene never actually shows what they are looking at. The camera is on the three of them, standing together as they always do. It could be my imagination, but it's like you can see the sadness on their faces as they look at maybe the Hogwarts set or whatever, like they are actually realizing that not only is this the last time the characters will be looking out over Hogwarts, but also the last time they as actors would be together in this place that they have spent half their lives. It's got to be an odd feeling for them. I feel like that's what got conveyed in that moment. Again, I could have been imagining things.

I think they did a great job with this movie. I was moved by all the parts that were supposed to move me, which is always a tough thing to do when I already know what's going to happen. Though this movie was by far the most graphically violent and sad (Rowlings went on a killing spree, as any who have read the book knows), it was also the one with the most moments of laugh out loud humor. I felt that balanced things out well, so as not to drag the whole thing down into some very dark sad place. It was sad to walk out of the theater, knowing this would be the last time.

The world of Harry Potter is not the first world created for those who wish for magic, nor will it likely be the last. From Norse Mythology, to Tolkien's Middle Earth, to Rowlings Harry Potter, there have been writings all throughout time that impact our imaginations and open our eyes to wonders that don't exist in the real world. Tolkien brought us the world of Middle Earth with his words. He brought alive in our imaginations the hobbits, and elves, and trolls, etc. It was Peter Jackson who brought a vision to middle earth. For Harry Potter, we have JK Rowlings to thank for a rich world of magic, brought into our minds with words, old and new. But Chris Columbus, Alfonso Cuaron, Mike Newell, and David Yates brought that world alive in ways that went beyond my imagination. And I'm sure it was not simple job for Steve Kloves to cobble together from so much, screenplays that made sense while being limited by screen time. I think he deserves an award for that task. And then there is every single person cast in those movies that made the character real. Gary Oldman's Sirius Black, Emma Thompson's Professor Trelawny, David Thewlis as Remus Lupin, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith as McGonagall, Ralph Fienes as Voldemort, Robbie Coltrane as Hagrid, etc. The list is long and I honestly believe that every single person played their part perfectly. I can't think of a single member of the cast that I thought "Why did they pick this guy/girl? They totally don't make sense for this part." Just great. I can't imagine them going back in time and doing it all again and getting it more right.

And so it ends...

Jenn - He'll always be The Boy Who Lived...

I'm sure there are stories to tell...

2011-07-11T12:49:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day: "The road to success is always under construction." - Someone wise and funny

When last we met...
It was like a month ago. I'm a lazy lazy person. Well, and I've been busy. I hate being busy because it cuts into my blogging time! A month ago I was battling against my harddrive for my soul (I lost) and not remembering things.

Pictures of the days...
I am so far behind, but I am trying to catch up!

Picture of the Day #40: The hard drive that won my soul.

Picture of the Day #41: Every child's dream, every parents nightmare!

Picture of the Day #42: My new love, OsKar

Picture of the Day #43: These flowers used to be in front of my house...that is until the evil rabbits ate them down to the ground while I was on vacation...stupid rabbits.

Picture of the Day #44: Trixie being all cute.

Picture of the Day #45: This was from Father's Day. I wrapped the present in plain white paper and had the kids decorate it themselves.

Picture of the Day #46: My front garden only allows one flower to bloom at a time, it would seem. I really like this one. It lasted like a day since it's either pouring rain or desert hot in Indianapolis.

Picture of the Day #47: This one is my new favorite.

Picture of the Day #48: Against Me! at Vans Warped Tour.

Picture of the Day #49: I couldn't resist taking my picture with THE Justin Beber.

Picture of the Day #50: The Rowe boys on the steps behind the Museum of Natural History in NYC.

Picture of the Day #51: OH NO! Will Brian be able to save Matt from the mouth of this dangerous predator?

Picture of the Day #52: Gavin in my ridiculous sunglasses.

Picture of the Day #53: Only at the NJ Shore boardwalk could one get a crepe the size of my head.

Picture of the Day #54: Still trying to get him out.

Picture of the Day #55: The only bear I will ever see is a stuffed one.

Picture of the Day #56: The most flowers to bloom at one time!

I'm still like 20 photos behind, but i have a ton from vacation that I still have to upload.

Vacation is less then restful...
We went to the beach, we got yelled at by old guys, I drove around the state of NJ visiting with old friends, and we almost missed the fireworks in NY because Macy's decided to change tradition. All that and more...tomorrow...

Jenn - I'm still recovering from my vacation...

Pictures, Senility, and a battle for my harddrive's soul...

2011-06-08T15:59:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day: Work is for losers. A winner says "that's on my list" and never commits to a deadline. -Dilbert

Picture Catch-Up Time...

Picture of the Day #30: This plant started with one open flower.

Picture of the Day #31: The next day, there were two open flowers!

Picture of the Day #32: And on the third day, there were three!!!

Picture of the Day #33: Morpheus has taken to ground. Usually he likes to lay at the highest possible point in the room but lately he's been laying on the ground. Often in places that he blends so I don't even see him half the time. This time he was lying with his head on Dakota's bed like it was a pillow, which cracked me up.

Picture of the Day #34: Cucumber plant seems to be doing ok.

Picture of the Day #35: Coolest baby EVER and also our number one softball fan!

Picture of the Day #36: My first Jalapeno! I dare those evil rabbits to nibble on this!

Picture of the Day #37: The toad I spent 20 minutes chasing around the garage, while it was still in the garage.

Picture of the Day #38: Triumph!

Picture of the Day #39: Apparently, I am growing a mushroom garden. There are a lot of mushrooms cropping up all over the place in the spots that I put the soil mixture I bought by the yard. I'm hoping that's a good thing.

Memories of...nothing...

I'm a bit concerned at the moment. I'm concerned that I have absolutely ZERO recollection of my 7th grade year. In the course of conversation about a saved bird, it was told that I had to dissect a worm all by myself because my lab partner, Kerri, was adverse to the idea of murdering a non-arthropod invertebrate animal. Ok, I'm not sure that at 12 the idea of murdering the worm was what was bothersome to her. It was more the ick factor. Fortunately, my morbid (but not sociopathic) interest in the inner working of things probably started at an early age, so I was probably a good lab partner for that sort of thing. The problem is I don't remember. Not just that, I don't remember 7th grade at all. I cannot bring to mind a single moment of that entire year. I remember stuff from 6th grade (that was a bad year with my dad having the cancer) and I very clearly remember things from 8th grade. But the entire year I was 12 is a complete blank. It's so weird. Was that the year my mom decided to join the Air Force and the house was put up for sale and we were supposed to move to Texas, but at the last minute she changed her mind and we stayed? I thought that was 8th grade, but I'm not sure now. I can't remember a single teacher I had in the 7th grade, nor any activities or vacations or anything. I'll have to ask my brother. Maybe he'll know something. Does anyone have any stories for me from 7th grade?

How My Hard Drive Destroyed My Soul...An Essay by Jennifer daSilva....

It was a Sunday when it happened. A cloudy unspectacular day, if memory serves. I had just returned from the Apple store, a place I would not normally have ventured. In this case, there was a drowned iPod and a very sad 14-year old boy who had learned the very hard life lesson that iPods do not know how to swim (not even with swimmies), nor are they particularly water proof. So, after an appointment was made, I drove to the scary fancy mall and almost drank some delicious Apple kool-aid after the Genius replace the iPod for FREE. Thank you, Warrenty and also Genius. (I did not drink the Kool-Aid, though, when I realized that all the cool iPad covers were for the iPad2 and that my 1-year-old iPad was completely out of fashion. Stupid technology moving fast.)

This event had got me to thinking that I should really take a look to what I had stored on my external harddrive and determine what I needed to back up soon. I also watched to test the download and upload speeds I could get when running uTorrent via ethernet cable vs the wifis. True Story: I'm a geek. I think most of you know that already. So, it shouldn't be surprising that I would want to spend an afternoon playing with my hard drive and testing download speeds. It's was cloudy out and I didn't feel like swimming. So, I settled in at the little table we have in the upstairs living room, looking forward to my geekfest while the soft sounds of giggling minions and battle came from the television where G was playing Overlord 2 on the Playstation.

I boot up my computer (Windows 7, I sort of heart you. Only when I don't hate you. But mostly I heart you because you are not XP). I plug in the USB to connect my terabyte drive (GBs are for wussies) and wait for Windows to recognize the drive. I wait. I wait some more. I see a rather strange message pop up that a driver is being installed. Um, this is Windows 7. No driver should need to be installed. It was just working 10 minutes ago when I unplugged it from the wall in the bedroom. I don't understand. I hear "whir whir whir...click click....whir..." and I realized that things were not ok. I go to Device Manager. The drive is listed, but the file system is not getting loaded. And that's when I said "oh fuck". File system not loading + wierd noises coming from the drive = bad things are happening.

I won't go into the excruciating details...well, not too much. Initially, being in a state of complete denial and hoping that the issue was just a corrupted file system, which I can recover from, I tried various file recovery programs but Windows needs to at least be able to access the file system to recover files that are corrupted. See also: Jenn's hopes begin fading. That was Sunday. I didn't want to panic quite yet, plus we had the minions and they sort of require more attention then I can give when I'm in full on "Save the Hard Drive" mode. Monday, I did some research and eventually came to the conclusion that I would need to copy an image of the entire hard drive, bit by bit to a new hard drive (which Boyfriend brought home for me and this one is TWO terabytes!!). DDRescue might be the droids that I am looking for, so I burnt me an Ubuntu boot up disk, wrote down some linux commands and got started. After removing the drive from the case (seriously, could they make that any harder?), I fiddled had to fiddle with the connections a bit to get Ubuntu to recognize the drive. But finally, there is was, waiting to take an excruciatingly long time to image. I had partitioned the new drive into two drives so that I could make the disk image go on one partition and then later recover it on the other partition. Unfortunately, the partitions where not big enough and I could not run ddrescue with a log file. So i let it run for 14 hours, into Tuesday. The numbers didn't look right. Something was not right. So, Wed, I stopped it, un-partitioned the new drive so I could have a log file, figuring if I could just get the image to it, I'd get another one to recover to. It's 2011 and 2 TB drives are less than $100 (I find that INCREDIBLE. I remember when I got excited because they actually made 1TB drives that got sold in like OfficeMax and then how excited I got when they were only like $150 and now you can get 2TB for under $100!!!). So, I tried setting everything back up and rerunning ddrescue only this time it would start and finish immediately with zero values for everything which is the equivalent to nothing happening. I tried every possible option all to no avail. Now I am left soulless.

I will make one final attempt tonight, using a Windows boot disk and the Recovery Console. I really don't want to lose everything on that drive, but most of it just downloaded stuff, so I suppose I'll survive. I don't think I stored any pictures on it or anything that I don't also have somewhere else. It's just aggrevating.

And now I have a meeting to attend. Bleh.

Jenn - I am a geek, it's true...

It's possible that I've run out of interesting things to say...

2011-06-01T10:37:00.000-04:00

Quote of the Day: Feedback is a business term which refers to the joy of criticizing other people's work. This is one of the few genuine pleasures of the job, and you should milk it for all it's worth. - Dilbert

Pictures of the Day...

I have so many days to catch up on. I'm realizing that I either live a very boring life or I'm lazy about taking pictures. I'm guessing it's both...

Picture of the Day #24: Brian at the German Bakery. He's a wild and Crazy guy!

Picture of the Day #25: The first year of cherries on the cherry tree

Picture of the Day #26: The first flower on my first tomato plant which will hopefully become my first tomato!

Picture of the Day #27: Brian built me two more boxes. The one of the left is mostly different types of tomato plants (i love tomatoes!) and the one on the right has asparagus and broccoli and peppers.

Picture of the Day #28: This is what my house looks like from the front now. The River Birch needs to grow!

Picture of the Day #29: This is what the house looks like right now from the end of the driveway...I know, I'm getting lazy with the pictures. I'll have to see if the minions will pose for some this weekend.

My obsession...well, for now....

I am in love with audio books. I've found that I miss reading but not enough that I want to give up my new love, Drop7 (which is available on Android/iPad). Audio books allow me to enjoy both activities at the same time. In the past few months, I have listened to the following:

A. Harry Potter Series (I've read them all but listening to them is AWESOME!!!)

1. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

2. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

5. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

6. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (This one won a Grammy and the reader earned a world record for the number of voices he did)

B. David Eddings Books (My all time favorite fantasy author. I've actually read all these books at least 5 times each and still listening to them was awesome)

The Belgariad

1. Pawn of Prophecy

2. Queen of Sorcery

3. Magician's Gambit

4. Castle of Wizardry

5. Enchanters End Game

The Mallorean (same characters as The Belgariad)

1. Guardians of the West

2. King of the Murgos

3. Demon Lord of Karanda

4. Sorceress of Darshiva

5. The Seeress of Kell

6. Belgarath the Sorcerer

7. Polgara the Sorceress

The Elenium

1. The Diamond Throne

2. The Ruby Knight

3. The Sapphire Rose

The Tamuli (same characters as The Elenium)

1. Domes of Fire

2. The Shining Ones

3. The Hidden City

C. Ender's Game

D. Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials Trilogy (The are recorded with a FULL CAST which make them even more entertaining!)

1. The Golden Compass

2. The Subtle Knife

3. The Amber Spyglass

I was able to get a bunch of these from the library which was pretty cool. I'm not sure what I will listen to next. The Philip Pullman books have been so entertaining because of all the voices. I suppose I should listen to a grown-up book at some point, but they bore me.

Jenn - DOTS are not an appropriate breakfast food, but they sure are tasty!

Impossible just means it hasn't been figured out yet...

2011-05-27T14:17:00.000-04:00

Quote of the day: "The best way to avoid criticism is to establish a reputation for being irrational and belligerent at the slightest excuse." - Dilbert

I'm sick of hearing "that's impossible"...

How is it that there is anyone that still thinks that there are impossibilities in the world? Like when I say "it's not unreasonable to think that the laws of physics will one be proven to be incorrect", people get all "It's a law! It's been proven! It's impossible that anything will change that.". Um, right, because as humans we obviously have figured out all there is to know about everything and there is no way that anything new will ever come to light or that we could be wrong. (And responding with "Your face is impossible!" doesn't get people to take you seriously, FYI). Good thing you weren't around when sailors decided to chance sailing off the edge of the earth when they thought it was flat or else we'd all still be thinking in 2 dimensions...

The thing is that, in my mind, anything is possible, even if it does not seem to be so at the time of the discussion. Not having the knowledge about something doesn't mean it can't ever be done. The thing that spurred this was a discussion about aliens. I believe that there are other being out in the universe and that it's not unreasonable to believe that they could have the ability to do things and travel much further than we earth folk currently can. I'm not saying that all the stories of alien abduction and such are entirely believable, but I also don't think it's entirely impossible. Of course, I got the "it's impossible to travel those distances". Since earth folk haven't figured it out, that must mean that no other beings in all the uncharted universe could possibly have figured that out. I apologize to the entire human race and mean no disrespect, but I don't actually believe that we know everything there is to know about everything ever. I'm basing that on the fact that as soon as I get the newest, most high tech cell phone in a couple of months (Motorola Bionic!!!), five minutes later it will become outdated technology. So unless there is some evil cell phone conspiracy, one in which all cell phone technology that will ever exist has already been discovered and they are just doling it out in small bits to keep me buying new phones, I'm thinking that people are constantly learning new things. But I digress...

Ok, so, Aliens. One argument that I got to that was, if they are able to travel around the universe, how come they haven't tried to colonize the Earth? My first reaction to that is, why is it everyone's first thought that everything needs to be taken over? Seriously, maybe that's why we haven't figured it out yet. We aren't evolved enough. Until we stop thinking like territorial animals, maybe we just can't access the other parts of our brain. Perhaps the aliens that have figured out interstellar travel have also figured out that running around taking over everyone's worlds is a sucky thing to do and so they don't do it. I mean, if you are smart enough to figure out how to travel the galaxy, there's a good chance you are all smart enough not to bother taking over a planet that is already being overused. Why not just find another one that's fresh? Duh. My second reaction is how do we know that colonization hasn't already occurred? Of course, that's when people roll their eyes. I'm not saying that it has or hasn't happened. I'm saying that it's possible. Assimilation not domination could be the alien slogan. I'm not saying I believe either way. My mind doesn't really work that way. Nothing can be proven 100%. NOTHING. It can be mostly proven. I can lean towards believing one side of an argument is more possibly true that the other side. But I never believe 100% in anything as true. Except what I see with my own eyes. And even that is subject to my own perception of reality. What I see with my very own eyes could be perceived completely differently than how another person sees the same exact thing with their own eyes. Anyway, my point is not really about aliens. My point is that to think that there is anything that is impossible and will always be impossible seems silly to me.

What I really care about is...

Note: I don't mean to sound like a commercial below, but since I'm now domesticated, these are the things I think about. And I have a HUGE appreciation for the items below.

As you may or may not know, my house is filled with the following:

4 cats (Morpheus, Trixie, Lucy, Neo)
1 70lb black lab (Dakota)
1 Adult Male (Boyfriend)
3 Tweenage boys (G, E, M)

As you can perhaps imagine, the floors are in a constant state of "ew, what is that?!" So, though I never thought I would say something like this, my carpet cleaning devices are my favorite household items on earth. EVER. I love them so much, I occasionally consider leaving Boyfriend to run off with them to a tropical island.

This is my vacuum cleaner. His name is Larry. Larry is one of my very best friends. When my cream color carpet starts to look black from all the friggin Dakota hair (I swear that dog explodes her entire coat of fur on a weekly basis), Larry sucks it all right up. Larry is the best vacuum cleaner that I have ever owned. EVER. I have to be careful with Larry though, because he's so powerful that I almost accidentally sucked one of the kids into his belly. That would have been not good. It's amazing how much crud gets onto the floors and carpets within a few days. With so many pets, we have to vacuum, at minimum, once a week. That's if we are being lazy. 2-3 times a week would be better. Larry is my hero.

This is Larry's BFF, Henry. Occasionally, I cheat on Larry with Henry. I mostly bought Henry because he's "all terrain" which cracked me up. Like I'm cleaning the hills and streams of my home. Apparently, "all terrain" just means "can be used on carpets, hardwood, tile, etc." I'm ok with that. Henry is a little heavy for me to be pushing around in the wilderness. I hate mopping the floors, but I love to Henry them. Sometimes, I use the attachment to clean the walls. That might sound odd, but any of you who have children in the house have probably had the experience where you are walking around the house and will randomly see something unidentifiable splattered on the wall. And in weird places on the wall that you think "how the heck did they get chocolate sauce all the way over/up there?!". Anyway, Henry is awesome. Like when the Great Chocolate Milk Disaster of 2011 happens (where you go to take the brand new gallon of chocolate milk out of the fridge and then drop it onto the kitchen floor where it EXPLODES, at which point every child and animal in the house decides to run directly through the lake of chocolate milk.), I just take Henry and suck it right up. And then three weeks later when I'm discovering chocolate milk paw prints and chocolate milk splatters on the wall in unusual places throughout the house, Henry helped me out. The latest thing was cat pee. One of the friggin' cats was feeling like an a-hole and decided that everyday was a fine day to pee on the carpet in the hall in front of the front door. And washing the whole rug every day was becoming tedious and didn't seem to be getting the pee smell out. I put some of that special cat urine cleaning stuff into Henry and cleaned the carpet. That finally got the smell out.


It IS a miracle!!!

On a side note: I was also having the problem that one of the cats was always pooping next to the litter box instead of inside it. I tried different litters, cleaning them daily, adding more boxes...nothing was working. It's been driving me crazy for months. Finally, I'm at the pet store, just staring blankly at things, and notice this litter attractant stuff:

I heart you!

OMG IT'S SO FREAKING AWESOME!! So far...It's only been 4 pooh and pee free days. I won't get crazy thinking that there has been a miracle but I will gladly continue to buy that stuff if it means that all four cats will go potty where they are freaking supposed to.

I guess my point is that I never thought that there would be room in my heart of things like carpet cleaners and vacuums. And now I'm in love with the ones that I own. I'm not sure how many more of these drastic life changes I can take!

Jenn - I should have my own infomercial...

The Honey Badger is the most fearsome creature in the animal kingdom...

2011-05-24T11:29:00.004-04:00

Quote of the Day: "Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company." - Dilbert

So totally over American Idol...

I finally got around to watching the top three performances from last week, even though I knew Haley had been booted. I wanted to see what reason America had for kicking her off. Other than a certain arrogance, she's a darn good singer.

It would appear that singing ability and the ability to entertain me are not actually criteria for people to vote to keep someone. I think her personality got in the way. It can't be her singing. The girl sang Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac, and Alanis Morrisette. And she sang them AWESOME. Plus, she fell on her arse (something I don't think I've ever seen actually happen on Idol) and didn't miss a beat. Meanwhile, though they both can certainly sing well, Scotty and Lauren sang...oh, right, 3 country songs each. Shocking. And Lauren got distracted by a cute boy and forgot to sing a note. But, I guess country music rules the world now or something, because those two are in the final. I'm not going to lie, I probably won't even watch. I think it's time to admit to myself that Idol is dead to me. I just don't care. I haven't bought a single song from this season. I have all of David Cook's performances. I have all of Adam Lambert's performances. I even have most of Lee's performances. I have 0 from this season. ZERO. That tells me that I really just don't care. I'm holding onto a dead relationship with Idol and it's time to let go. I have to move on to something different. Something I can feel the way I felt about Idol a few years back when I started watching it. I'm hoping that something is X Factor. I'm hoping that it's just Simon that's missing from my life. And Paula. I don't care what anyone says, Paula is pure genius. She may not intend to be. She may be barely lucid at most times. But she's too much unintentional comedy to sit on the sidelines. I'm glad her and Simon are secretly in love and that he has brought her back into the world of judging. I will, however, really miss Ryan Seacrest. That man is not only a machine, but also my hero. I actually think he's a robot. I can't prove it. He's too good to let that happen. But, mark my words, one day it will come to light that he is a robot and I want everyone reading this to remember that I said it. Ryan Seacrest is a robot. Tell your friends.

Let's Flashback to 2007-2008...

Since my life revolves around TV, so does my calender. I do not count time passing as Jan - Jan. i count it as September to September. But I digress...

In the year 2007-2008, those of us who's existences revolve around fictional characters (right, pathetic, blah blah, I get it), were forced to find other forms of entertainment due to the writers' strike. I mean, there was no LOST to watch!!! Does anyone remember how awful that was? It was, take my word for it. So, I had to find other entertainments. Looking back on the blogs from that time, I am cracking up. From that era come such fine blogs as:

1. November 5, 2007 : The One Where Jpnkn gets hit by a car...

2. November 7, 2007: The One Where Jpnkn slowly slips into a food coma...

3. November 12, 2007: The One Where Jpnkn almost gets a cap in her ass...

4. December 27, 2007: When Did I become a character in a Chuck Palyhniuk novel? (One of my favorites)

5. January 10, 2008: I am Jenn's rusty lungs... (i am an angsty mo fo)

6. January 15, 2008: Bouncing Back...

7. January 17, 2008: You say there are no guarantees...

8. January 18, 2008: I just wanted a pencil...

9. March 11, 2008: The Ides of March are almost upon us...

10. March 12, 2008: Personal Boundries? I'm not familiar...

And a Random Conversation with my soul...

There was a point to this other then the walk down memory lane...what was it? Oh, right, writers' strike, no tv, had to find other things to do. But that is not what brought up 2007-2008 in my mind originally. What actually got me thinking about it was Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It's been the complete obsession of my household. One of the kids has actually memorized all the words to all the songs. Boyfriend keeps watching it. And like any good ADD addled brain, my mind jumped like this...

1. Hmmm...everyone really likes that Dr. Horrible show.

2. I wonder when that came out? (Looks it up on the interwebs)

3. Oh, 2008, hmmm, wasn't that when the writer's strike was? (Looks it up on the interwebs)

4. It was! I really hated that. I totally missed LOST when it was off air for a few months.

5. Hmmmm...LOST...I really missed all TV. I wonder what I was doing.

6. I'll go look at old blogs.

7. Hahahahahaha...I am funny AND angsty. OMG. I write the same stuff every year. I'm redundent.

8. I should blog about that.

9. Somehow end up starting blog with American Idol, then remembering I want to blog about Dr. Horrible, then blogging about old blogs, then finally getting to Dr. Horrible.

10. End of thoughts.

All my best ideas are in the shower...

It used to be that all my best ideas where in the 3 hours a day I spent in the car. I also did my best thinking in the car. In the car, I was this totally deep, introspective person with great understanding of myself and the world around me. In the car, I was practically self-actualized and had no where left on the pyramid of needs to go. Of course, the moment I stepped out of the car, I was back to being randomly funny, often angsty, always confused Jenn. In my car was all the power and understanding in the universe. Outside my car, nothing. I mean, it was only a Ford Focus 3 door hatchback, so I'm not sure how all that universe stuff fit inside, but it did. I miss that car...again, I digress. Now that I don't drive 3 hours a day, I find that all my good thinking is done in the shower. I was thinking the stuffing out of life and the world in the shower this morning. I had something super awesome and deep to blog about and I was going to sound smart and better then just normal Jenn. Of course, the moment I stepped out of the shower, I totally forgot. It could have been when I was blow drying my hair. Or straightening it (34 years and I've finally almost got the hang of a straightening iron! I'm so close!!!) I don't know. I can't remember when the thoughts fell out of my head. Which just reminded me of how badly I need to start recording notes to myself because I can't remember anything I ever want to say. Curses. Stupid brain foiled me again!!!

Until next time...

Jenn - I am totally superficial but not superficial at all....

Twitter sucks and Work is out to thwart me...

2011-05-16T12:15:00.001-04:00

Quote of the Day: I've been up since 4:30am with a hacking cough and work to get done. I have no quote today.

Just a bit of whining...
My twitter posts are supposed to show up in Facebook but apparently picture posts do not. Or Twitter just sucks. IDK. Here are the pictures of the day for like the last four days. And I think I'm still a day behind...

Picture of the Day #11:

Boyfriend just got back from Chicago. We are about to eat the dinner.

Picture of the Day #12:

Tree I pulled out of my garden. We are going to try and plant it somewhere else.

Picture of the Day #13:

Happy 12th Birthday, Ethan. Those took FOR-EVER.

Picture of the Day #14:

Trixie got caught molesting Neo.

Neo, Kitten Gigolo...

Neo before he became a man whore.

Neo used to be so innocent. He used to just lay everywhere and purr. When he started making friends with the dog, we were like "aw, that's cute". He never fought with crankypants, Morpheus. And Trixie just sort of licked him every so often.

All that has changed. He stalks Dakota everywhere she goes. That cat can't be away from that dog for more than a few minutes without rubbing up all over her the second she's within eye shot. It's not like Dakota is small and could be mistaken for a cat. This is a 70lb Lab with a 7lb cat lover. I catch Neo sleeping with Dakota. I'd take a picture but the Dakota photo sense causes her to bolt whenever the possibility of a picture comes around. Dakota has NO sense of personal space yet seems to be trying to get away from Neo sometimes. I think he'd ride around on her back if he could figure it out. I also catch Trixie licking Neo head to toe and he actually lays on his back and just lets her. It almost looks kind of dirty. I have to give them their privacy. The other day I caught him snuggling, SNUGGLING, with Morpheus. MORPHEUS??!!! Morpheus doesn't snuggle! He rips you to shreds with only a glare! He's like the Chuck Norris of cats. Only Chuck Norris knows not to mess with Morpheus. The straw on top is the kitten sexfest that went on here last week. I'm still trying to drink away the memories of that horrible day. I don't know what happened to my innocent little kitten.

Speaking of Morpheus....

We finally put a collar on that one since his one mission in life has been to escape out the front door. Every time he gets out, he runs further down the driveway and, at some point, we won't be able to catch him. So we put a name tag on him. He's 5 and has never wore one. He took it rather well. Meaning he didn't scratch my eyeballs out when I put it on him. Actually, I thought for sure he would go nuts, trying to get it off. Boyfriend thought it would be funny to get one with a bell on it, since I guess he loves being kept up all night by annoying ringing sounds. Morph can't quite figure that part out. He's so fluffy that the bell get muffled most of the time when he's walking around. But if it does ring, he starts zooming around, trying to find it. He hasn't figured out that it's him making the noise. Hahahahahahaha...cracks me up.

Jenn - Hoping my lung doesn't actually come out of my chest with all this hacking...