this hawks nest

pinhole press : surprise your sweetie!

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Fri, 07 Feb 2014 06:27:00 +0000

Hawk and I were married almost five years ago, but we don't have a single photo from the event in our house. I hear that's pretty common these days because the experience of wedding photography often limits what a couple can afford to purchase later. Gone are the days of prints stuck in a photo album--now newlyweds have so much more to choose from.

I'm sure you know I've been a fan of Pinhole Press for years now, long before they joined the blog as a sponsor. We've made the grandparents albums of their time with the kids, a memory game, holiday cards, and now, my personal favorite, a wedding album!

I chose the 61-photo panoramic book with the classic khaki cloth spine. I've drooled over it for more than a year but this Valentine's Day, I'm finally going to give my sweetheart an heirloom we can enjoy now.

Hey, that's a great way to describe this book. An heirloom. There are many photobooks to choose from out there, but Pinhole Press gives us something unique. This is good quality: it feels good in my hands, pages fall open completely and photos are bright and sharp, the pages are smooth as a baby's bum, and the cloth spine is pressed perfectly.

Look at the detail and quality of the spine.

This Valentine's Day, Pinhole Press is offering thishawksnest readers a 10% discount! It need not be a particular Valentine's gift, as long as the order is placed before February 14th.

For example, we also picked up their brilliant 12-piece puzzle. Our kids love puzzles, and now that we're 2000 miles from home, we thought we'd use one of the latest pics of Hawks parents & siblings as a loving reminder of our roots.

The cutouts are simple and precise, and as you can see, the image retains its quality.

And here it is, pieced together by our eldest.

Let us know if you grab something from Pinhole Press! You love it immediately, and it will be the gift that keeps on giving, passed around from hand to hand, time to time.

icj,
~j

cups

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 02 Jul 2013 08:38:00 +0000

Back in high school I learned the ~~drinking~~ game, Cups, to go along with Rich Mullins' Screen Door. Yes, I was a total youth group junkie my senior year.

So it makes me really happy to see what Anna Kendrick has done with the it. I have a running playlist of songs I associate with motherhood and my relationship with my kids. Ho Hey, Strawberry Swing, and Brandi Carlisle's The Story are just a few on the list, and this is the newest. For the one person out there who hasn't seen this, enjoy.

*I especially like the duo's faces, the triplet's magnificence, and the one slip-up from the 'bartender' which is so much like real life...almost perfect, and better for the almost.

The Most Embarrassing Photo I've Posted

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Fri, 17 May 2013 16:40:00 +0000

Is this one:

This photo captures everything about my life lately. When I shot it, I was laughing and weeping (maybe sobbing). It's hilarious and wonderful that I have these two children, these two specific, particular, unique and glorious lives in my own humble life, and that they want to be with me wherever I go, whatever I'm doing. It is glorious. It is awe-inspiring. No animal or friend comes close to the glory of these two children. This girl, this boy.

And still.

You can see in the first pic that I have no privacy. They're not just in the room, they're practically in my lap. One wants to read a book. The other wants to play trucks. Gosh, I'm laughing as I write this remembering how ridiculous it was, but at the moment it was taken, I was also very, very broken. Tired. Tapped-out. In need of a sanctuary. I'm glad I had enough sense of humor that I could appreciate how ridiculous it was, but I was still crying.

Which brings me to the topics of sleep and self-sacrifice.

I've since come to understand that the single most influential factor in my peace of mind, in my ability to be a good wife and mother, is sleep. If I am rested, I can tackle anything with joy, patience, self-control, and rational thought. If I have not had rest, I am an emotional wreck. I can't handle the lack of privacy. I can't handle the constant, appropriate needs my children have or the expectations my husband places on his stay-at-home spouse. I act out in ways I am ashamed, and I can't be a proactive, joyful person providing for the needs of the family I love.

The reality of being pregnant and having two very young children means that a lot of my own desires are on hold. Some moms describe this as a compromise, but I see it as a pure and obvious sacrifice. Compromise means everybody is only partially happy, and partially dissatisfied. Sacrifice means letting go and giving in to something more important, a total surrendering and giving away what I want for myself at this time, and the total act of giving it up is more fulfilling than the partial.

And what do I want for myself? I want to have an extremely decluttered and organized house in which EVERYthing has a place and is in its place. I'm sold on that mindset after organizing my pantry and our coat closet; it's the key to peace of mind in the house. Oh, and I want to:

blog daily
set the new dresser's hardware, add contact paper to the drawers, and fill it with their belongings. Oh, and put it in an actual bedroom instead of the basement.
paint Poppy's room and ceiling
stamp the hallway ceiling
build a wardrobe for Hawk in our MBR
install and paint moulding in our MBR
sew, sew, sew things like pillow casings, teepees, a-frame tents, maternity dresses, and children's clothes. And curtains.
paint numbers on the stairs
tear down the upper west shelving in our small galley kitchen, rewire the lights, replaster, and install open shelving
install the brand new beautiful lights we purchased for our kitchen and hallway (they're so cool!)
switch the cribs
reorganize the basement into beautiful storage and particular play spaces, a sewing/craft area, woodworking area, clear laundry area, etc.

And did I tell you I have a little dream on the back burner? Something that could take this blog in a new direction, make it more than a hobby? Well, I bet I haven't told you because I have to put it on hold. And there's a grace there. I haven't been able to paint Poppy's room, and I recently realized that instead of going a cream-gray, I want to do the walls pure cream and paint the ceiling with a Farrow & Ball pink. Yup, you read that correctly. Similarly, I haven't been able to pursue some ventures I've longed to pursue, and this has made me realize that by sacrificing those dreams, I can spend time discerning, praying, and learning about what I really want to do so when I take action, it is for the right end.

So the things I love are severely on hold until this baby arrives and our family starts to settle. I hope that the long view will warrant these short pitfalls. I know they will.

with deep gratitude for your faithfulness, readers,

Happy Mother's Day

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Thu, 09 May 2013 20:06:00 +0000

I haven't posted in a while and I'll touch on more of that later next week, but this is totally worth watching. I hesitate to call many things inspirational, but this is.

Master Bedroom Drapes

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:00:00 +0000

With a third child due to arrive in just a few weeks (okay, 10, but who's counting?) I'm trying to prepare the space before it's too late. We keep our babies in our room for the first 4-6 months. They sleep in an ArmsReach CoSleeper which is the perfect height for our bed. I love it. I can wake up to nurse at night and never leave the comfort of my own covers. And by the time the little person becomes aware enough of our sleep habits that we start to really effect each other, we move them into a crib in another room.

One difficulty we've had is that we installed white wooden blinds in our three windows. We get eastern morning light. Tons of it. By the time our kids were three months old, that seemed to wake them up earlier than necessary, so I had a habit of either draping extra sheets/blankets/towels over the windows or using scraps of blackout fabric.

It was unattractive, annoying, and a constant pain. We'd leave it up for weeks at a time because who wants to mess with that on a baby's sleep schedule? And that made for a rather depressing master bedroom feel.

We also have our bed up against one window, and I've seen great images that suggest framing the bed-in-front-of-window look by installing fantastic drapes.

I found these by accident, and I want them:

It's actually a shower curtain! But the fabric is a thick canvas (I checked), so it could totally work in a bedroom where a little less light is preferable.

I even put together a small inspiration board based on the pattern to give Hawk and idea of what he's in for. I already changed a few things around, but at least this will give you an idea...

Master Bedroom by thishawksnest on Polyvore

We're having to work with the colors of our bedspread and walls because we're just not ready to spring for a whole new paint color and spread set. The color is Restoration Hardware Silver Sage, and the spread is also RH, Eucalyptus. They're really not our thing anymore. So I'm not falling over myself to make this room happen; I am excited about everything new and nothing Silver Sage/Eucalyptus, but what can ya do? More on that whole shanancy later.

Don't you just love the pattern? I'm really into feathers and arrows lately, so this is right up my alley.

icj,

Hints & Helps : Bakery Measuring 101

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 03:06:00 +0000

I've made a few bakery items I've just not had the chance to post, and one thing has improved my baking considerably. Sally's Baking Addiction blog gives excellent guidance when it comes to measuring. I'm sure you all know this: when cooking, measurements can be fudged/expanded/diminished but in baking, measurements are precise.

The most helpful for me? Measuring flour.

Check out the full list here. I've also added it to our Hints & Helps page.

icj,
~j

photo taken from Sally's Baking Addiction blog and post

New Artwork : Kristy Gammill

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 11:00:00 +0000

I recently came across the work of Kristy Gammill, and I find it just the ticket for spring! Check out more of her work here.

Open House : Sean & Tina

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:00:00 +0000

We're back with the first of what I hope is many real home tours.

I am so excited to kick off this new series with Sean & Tina's home! I've admired it since they moved to the area. They throw the best Halloween parties preempted by the best invitations. They make running and bike-riding look good, like some kind of photo shoot in motion. To top it off they're so likeable; I have yet to leave them without giggling, grinning, and being somehow inspired in life.

After spending ten years living in tiny apartments and condos in Chicago, Sean and Tina fell in love with Milwaukee and bought a house in Whitefish Bay two years ago. They have been slowly accumulating furniture and developing their aesthetic over time. Without further adieu, enjoy!

***

The living room is where we spend most of our time watching movies, eating dinner, and playing with our adopted dogs, Bear and Waldo.

One of the best things about living in an old house, ours is 70 years old, are all of the quaint details that make the interior special. We especially love the wood beamed ceiling and the leaded glass windows. The wall art is from Michelle Armas and our first real art purchase. The pillows on the couch were made by my mother from fabric purchased on Etsy.

The printed rug is from IKEA and this is actually our second one since Waldo chewed a hole in the original one. It’s been incredibly durable with all of the feet and paws it endures on a daily basis.

The stag head, one of Sean’s favorite pieces, is from Restoration Hardware. The framed horse print on the mantle is actually a John Derian postcard of a horse that I found at my favorite Milwaukee store, The Home Market.

Sean found the vintage French cruiser poster at a garage sale a block away from our house.

The sunroom is the reason why we purchased this house. We really liked how the French doors open up to the background, and it’s a great place to take naps in the summer. The oars are vintage and were found at a yard sale in Bay View.

Besides painting the interior of the house, we have spent most of our time landscaping the yard. We have a small organic vegetable garden in the summer, and recently acquired this backyard furniture from Home Depot. Last summer we mulched the entire backyard because it’s much more dog friendly than grass. In the spring, both sets of our parents worked together to help us landscape the front yard. Those big whiskey barrels in the front of our house were a Craiglist find.

***

Thank you, Sean & Tina, for the wonderful (and first) tour! I had to post this last photo of them because it's SO them! Also, did you catch the secret message impressed (actually somehow raised) on the mantel wood?

Open House : Tours of Real Homes

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 11:00:00 +0000

It's taken months for me to see to fruition but we've got two REAL home tours to show you! Our first tour starts tomorrow.

Thank you for being faithful to the blog the past few weeks. After 23 days of sicksicksick, we are almost back to normal. I envy those bloggers who have additional contributors who can offer great content when the main gal is laid up. (Any takers?)

See you tomorrow!

icj,
~j

DIY: Resurrection Eggs, a.k.a., It's Not Too Late to Start Holy Week

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:06:00 +0000

When I was in ministry, one of the major lessons I had to teach and reteach and reteach was the concept of the moment and this day. Rather a nasty person? Today you can start anew. Don't understand much about prayer? Today is the day to learn. Didn't really prepare your toddlers for Easter by entering into Lent? Guess what, there are six full days left, and today's the first.

That last one is definitely me this year. I had these great aspirations about how to teach Ace about Lent and Easter now that he's old enough for conversation and some abstract thought. But it never happened. We were sick, I was exhausted, Hawk traveled---there are always reasons, right? Does it matter so much that I shouldn't do anything at all?

So logical: start something now. Better late than never. Something's better that nothing.

Source: caseybaudoin.blogspot.co.uk viaJennifer on Pinterest

I'd never heard of Resurrection Eggs, so when I came across this DIY from Sugar Lander, I was inspired to try it out. I found this helpful 12-egg version (the most typical) with printables so I'm combining the printables and the homemade objects from Sugar Lander and we're starting tonight.

Yes, tonight. 6 days before Easter. Does my son know he's missed out on 34 days of penitential preparation? No. Will he wonder what the heck is going on this Sunday? Yup. Should we miss out on the chance to help him understand and grow deeper in the faith he was given by right of life? Nope.

So here's a little encouragement if you're getting a late start, too, and you're wondering if it's worth it to begin today.

It is!

icj,
~j

happy first, my lady girl

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 11:00:00 +0000

My daughter,

You are crazy. The first time I felt you, your kick was so powerful I doubled over. You climb stairs one foot at a time even though your body is still so small and you can't walk without our hands to steady you. You walk over everything; where your brother would saunter carefully around, you purposefully trample--stuffed and live animals, piles of metal toy cars, people, chairs. Crazy. You jump toward puppies but you have no fear. (I'd like to see you with a little more fear.) We already see your might will. You are the most comfortable, cuddly person and I can't believe you prefer me to anyone else. God rue the day that changes.

When I first learned you were a daughter and not a son, I felt lost. Blind, deaf, directionless. I had no sense of how to raise a woman, how to have that deep mother-daughter relationship. You encountered a few hiccups in this first year, and I had your back; you've taught me so much about being a better mother just by being your joyful, sassy self. I came to know the hope and wonder it is to believe that we will have something unique, something only given and earned between a mother and daughter.

I am honored to know you. You impress me and intrigue me; you are mysterious. This year with you has convinced me that you'll need the very best that I can be, and I want to give that to you.

Happy first birthday, my love.

yours,
Mama

have a lovely weekend : tutorial links

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 04:51:00 +0000

Hey all,

Crazy week. Hawk returns after a work week spent on the other side of the continent, we had a flu/weiredcoldthing go through our house that knocked me out, and I spent the day yesterday building shelves. Happily. And this weekend we celebrate lady Poppy's first birthday!

In honor of that occasion and all the things I'm learning (like baking a new cake with new frosting, tissue paper poms and garland, where to buy these items on a tight budget), I thought you might appreciate a couple links here and there for future use.

BEST TISSUE PAPER GARLAND TUTORIAL

Source: thetomkatstudio.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

EASIEST CROWN MOULDING TUTORIAL

Source: younghouselove.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

CREATE YOUR OWN IKAT DESIGN USING ILLUSTRATOR

Source: bohemiangypsyjane.blogspot.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

FASTEST TEEPEE DIY TUTORIAL

Source: bohemiantreehouse.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

TURN A SHEET INTO A CURTAIN TUTORIAL

Source: myhomelookbook.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

EASIEST WAY TO MAKE A SPRING DRESS TUTORIAL

Source: repinly.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Okay, I'm zonked. I wish you as much joy as we hope to have this weekend!

icj,
~j

p.s. habemus papem!!!

Being Creative When You're Not an Artist

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 11:00:00 +0000

Source: weheartit.com via Richgeana on Pinterest

We currently have Homeland and Hugo checked out from the library. Hawk has made good use of the show, but I haven't made much of the movie because I can't stay in one place long enough to watch anything other than the occassional new episode of Once. The same goes for Ace. When I put Poppy down for her morning nap I need to keep his 27-month-old curiosity contained, so I usually put on an episode of Mighty Machines or Sesame Street and close him in his room. It isn't long before I hear puzzles dumping, trucks ramming, and even singing.

Would you consider yourself to be a creative person? I'm guessing most people would say no because, like me, you haven't published/printed/painted something someone else will pay to have. I'm always telling people that I'm not creative, I'm just a good imitator; I can see something and bring it into my own life, albeit at a lesser degree of quality, but I can't bring something out of nothing. And then I read this:

Source: Uploaded by user via Chelsey on Pinterest

and my friend's comment, that no one can create in a vacuum and therefore we are all imitators to some degree, became more encouraging.

Since turning 33 last week (I love my thirties!!!), I've learned something very valuable about what makes me happy: I need to be creative most days of the week.

Which leads me to this important lesson:

Source: Uploaded by user via Lindsey on Pinterest

Isn't that brilliant? I think we fail to try new things because we think they'll fail, but we're left feeling as though we've already failed because we've never pursued it. At least that's how it is for me at the end of the day. And Hawk plays 5+ instruments but believes he's terrible at all of them because he doesn't feel comfortable being creative---he just practices pieces that already exist.

There are few things I believe I must instill/cultivate in every one of our children, and being creative is one. I daydream about our playspaces, different art projects, ways for them to become more tactile, ways for them to experience music, to be silly, spontaneous, and imaginative. And the best way for me to do that is, of course, to model it in my own life.

So the last year I've been checking out more library books to get a starting point. I tend to gravitate toward those that I can apply to life with kids simply because it's efficient and fun for us to do together. The most recent example is The Artful Parent. It's challenging me to try new creative acts in my own life. I've just preordered a copy of her first book because with a pre-order comes a 109-page Spring activities ebook for free!

And while these aren't works of art, they are really bringing joy to my life:

I began a sewing class at our rec department (for the very beginner). I sewed a zippered case together. This is unbelievable.
I put together a 300 piece puzzle and then mounted it as artwork.
I made pom poms and tissue garland for Poppy's first birthday. Way better than Martha.
I edited, pro printed, and framed a photo I took this past summer of Ace's outside painting supplies.
I edited*, pro printed, and framed a few photos I've taken of the kids the past year.
I painted chalkboards where I want them and where we will use them, and every time I see them I get excited and happy!
I made my own chalk paint (not chalkboard paint) and I'm in the process of painting Ace's future big boy bed.
I'm making a ribbon canopy over Poppy's crib.
I made book shelves I hope to hang in the kids rooms this week.
I researched some photos and tutorials about turning ideas into paint-by-numbers because I really want a cool mural in the blue bedroom!

None of these will make me money. None will make me famous. Heck, would most people even think these are that creative? Probably not, but they are all new to me.

And it sure feels good to try things out. And I'm a better woman when I can try my hand at a few new things that weren't there before.

What about you? Done anything creative lately? My friend, Ellen, is making a rag rug. How cool is that?

icj,

If you liked this post, check out this one.

*I use Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop but I've found Fotoflexer, a free online resource, is just as good for basic edits.

a close call

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 11:00:00 +0000

Good morning, friends.

Yesterday, we came seconds from a major car accident. At a stoplight just blocks from our house, a car coming from our left ran the red in front of us and a BMW t-boned it sending debris and both cars in our direction. One car's bumper was lodged under our own. I'm sure I'll always remember the sound of impact and the shower of car parts flying past and over our car. It was like an explosion.

After jumping out and first making sure their was a cushion of other cars keeping mine (with my kids inside) protected, I ran to both cars and found everyone able to walk out freely. Amazing. I had to pull to the side to wait for the police to take my statement, thankful that no one was even bloody even though at least one of the cars was totaled, smoking, and air-bag inflated.

In the meantime back inside my car, I shattered. For about 3 minutes I bawled my eyes out because my three kids are safe. We've lost too many friends and the fact that I was sitting untouched in the driver's seat with my son and daughter happily swapping french fries in the back and the baby kicking gently against my ribs---I almost couldn't take it.

We said a few prayers of thanksgiving, waited a while until we were permitted to leave, and enjoyed the sirens, flashing lights, towtrucks, etc., knowing that everyone was okay. When we finally returned home, my kids oblivious to what happened, I couldn't stop hugging and kissing and watching them interact. We'd been on a milkshake trip because with ~~damn~~ daylight savings, our routine was totally whacked. I'd just pulled Ace's finger back through the straw hole, laughing at how of course he would do that it was, comforting Poppy after she was startled awake from her own 30-minute car nap by brother's cries of help Mama I'm stuck!

I have no complaints. My life is fantastic, and there isn't a second I can take that for granted.

yours,
~jen

make your home a work of art

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Literally. From the sky. Or rather, a map.

I came across this brilliant service. A free service. You plug in your favorite location, memory, home, or vacation and choose one of many filters. I love the watercolor one myself, so I made a small collection of our favorite places: previous homes, the place our children were born, and our family cabin.

Check it out!

icj,
~j

mind the gap

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 02:38:00 +0000

There's a gap. To my right. I'm working out a few kinks and updating a few pages (no, really, I am) and those icons to the left were annoying me the past few months. So until I fix it there will be blank space, which is more visually appealing to me than filled yucky space.

Who writes yucky? This gal.

icj,
~j

lady poppy's first birthday inspiration

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

I am so excited for lady Poppy's first birthday. I think because she's a girl it feels new, so I couldn't wait to share the plans with you.

Color palette, same as her when-she-moves bedroom:

Source: theeverygirl.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

The cake, and though ours won't look as lovely and polished, it'll be close enough for a 12-month old to smash her face in it...

Source: weddingbells.ca via Jennifer on Pinterest

And a few big, round balloons because they're so girly!

Source: elizabethdunnfootwear.blogspot.com via Matty on Pinterest

And my newest party craze, the tissue tassel garland:

Source: greenweddingshoes.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Though I'd have to say that this tassel tutorial is the best, easiest to follow, and most efficient I've seen yet.

I'm considering this cake recipe, though Poppy tends toward the all-out chocolate--rich, dark chocolates. The kind we can't afford. Ha!

Source: plumprettysugar.tumblr.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

Or this if I get all craze-ay.

Source: recipebyphoto.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

We did this for Ace's 2nd birthday and he loved it, so I think it could be a really cool, fun tradition to start for every birthday, every kid. It feels so special!

Source: grosgrainfabulous.blogspot.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

And these as goodie-bags for the little people, because it's what I would want as a kid, it's what I want as a parent, and it's not too much stuff for a first birthday party!

Source: stephaniehowell.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

And this is one of the very few gifts I'm giving her, which has even more meaning when I think of how prudence is my favorite and most hard-won virtue (meaning I haven't won it yet):

Source: prudentbaby.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

There you have it! Now I've got to just finish the invitations (I should have hired Nellie Design) and get them out to family before it's too late:)

Have a lovely day, friends.

icj,
~j

pretty curtains at target

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Hey all,

I came across these great curtain panels and shower curtains at Target! If they were in our budget this month I'd snatch a few up now. All are under $30!

Source: target.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

I'm trying to save up for new curtains in our master bedroom (6 panels), the kids' rooms (8 panels), and areas of our home that need a little extra nighttime insulation between doorways (3 panels). Putting down those numbers puts things in perspective, doesn't it? So we'll just have to see what we can pull off, but I'm hopeful and more frugal than ever!

On a side note, Poppy, Ace and I are off to see two pre-schools for Ace to attend in the fall. I've been growing more aware of his need for consistent away-from-mom play periods, and we have a number of well-respected programs in the area. I'm not sure how we'll manage to unload twice a week with a baby and another infant, but people managed in covered wagons for a time, right? We have it so easy.

Have a lovely Tuesday, friends.

icj,

on forgetting the moment

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

When I worked with teenagers preparing for college I would see anxiety spread across their faces as they relayed to me the recycled, These will be the best years of your life. The advice would come from adults they respected and adults they shunned, so it seemed to be some universal truth: the next four years are the best of your life. This would inevitably produce panic about the choice of college which seemed even more grave a matter than it already had to be, but the occasional senior would ask, Really, Jen, is it true?

And I would say no. Can you imagine your life peaking at age twenty-two? Yikes, what a message.

I heard the same thing, of course, and I'm convinced it comes from well-meaning individuals who didn't really live their college years well and when they had the chance. They have regrets. And so life afterwards is tainted. They want to go back and do that again.

I had an unbelievably good time in college. I became a studious person, rowed on the crew team and traveled the nation, tried almost every legal activity once, and got in just enough trouble to keep me out of the clinker. I tried a dozen things and failed. I tried a dozen more and succeeded. I think I squeezed every bit of life out of my four years at university so there's nothing for me to return to.

Likewise, I think any good thing valued for what it is at the time can be let go when the time passes. My wedding day? The only parts I want back are those I didn't fully enter into. The portions I gave myself over to are an easy joy as I recall them. But even then, I can't quite grasp the sound of Hawk's voice as he spoke his vows or the sound of the string quartet playing Gounod's Ave Maria as I walked down the aisle.

The memory of our wedding ceremony is so sweet and real to me because I was intentionally present as it passed, not because I can recall its thousand details precisely.

So I have to ask how much I will remember of this fleeting time having babies in the house and I am left with the reality -- I am going to forget things as time passes. Whether I enter into these moments with my children or I allow other matters, less important matters like to-do lists, creative works, books to read, etc., to distract me, in ten years I will recall about the same amount of detail. But by entering into them, savoring them as they pass through my life, I will be left with the very real experience of them, and I believe this whole-hearted experience is what gives us truly happy memories and barricades against regret.

When I rock Poppy to sleep, I make sure to take in her sounds, her movements, knowing that I will never have them this way again. And when Ace reads on my lap or rushes up to hug me of his own volition, I know that I will lose the perfect knowledge of how it feels but I will forever possess the experience itself. And it changes me.

A friend alerted me to the very very brief time of "newborn-ness." She said, We all think it lasts a month or more but really, the newborn is gone in a matter of one or two weeks and they have grown into babies. Don't miss it. Stay in bed holding that little life as long as you can. Leave the house a mess and hold that baby and stare at that face." So I did. I held Ace in bed for ours, just holding and staring and enjoying. I held him on the couch, as I walked through the house. The same with Poppy. And sure enough, they quickly grew into their baby-selves but I wasn't sad to see the newborn leave because I drank every drop that I could feasibly drink from that time.

And thus, I could recognize the supreme value of the next phase.

What do you think? Is life over at twenty-three (and perhaps why so many of us have a quarter-life crisis)? Or is there a way to continue on after a good time without going downhill?

I'm eager for your thoughts!

Happy Monday, friends.

icj,
~j

a dream home in Oregan

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 04:51:00 +0000

May I introduce you to my dream home? Home, meet some friends.

Source: designsponge.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

You've just got to see the whole place. I'd show you the whole home here but that would be silly when you can head over to the home tour and enjoy that eye caramel yourself!

I love everything from the corals and pinks (I'm obsessed with those colors lately) to the way Caitlin Wilson mixed fabric designs. And don't get me started on the land. I swear if it wasn't for a love for the city I would move up nort' in Wisconsin, Oregan, or Vermont now.

Enjoy!

icj,
~j

epic fail : laundry risers

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Hey friends, Hawk returns from a few days away on business, so posting is a bit spotty. Thanks for hanging in there!

Source: lisacongdon.com via Elizabeth on Pinterest

I like this quote. Makes me feel optimistic about my epic fail(ure).

Here's the scenario: I am motivated to make things happen in our house. I am tired of things being organized or disorganized in a way that inhibits my ability to make a great home. I want proper play spaces for the kids. I want laundry to be less chaotic and more streamlined. I want to declutter the main and second levels by decluttering the basement.

And Hawk hates building projects. It's just not his thing. And I love building, organizing, painting (anything but trim, doors, and ceilings) --- for me, this work is just as creative as the painter, sculptor, and musician I so very much envy. It also means that to get a lot of things done I have to do them myself. And between the Little People's nap schedules and terror of electric drills, saws, etc., this is a challenge.

In our basement, our washer and dryer are, quite unfortunately, set 5 feet apart from each other, and this cannot be undone without professional rewiring/ducts/gas lines. They are set on the floor, and between my oft-pregnant belly, carrying babies/toddlers, and the plain ole why am I bending down so much ridiculousness that is floor-based washers and freezer-top refridgerators. There are no shelves above them after I removed a terrible make-shift attempt by previous owners. But this is a laundry area and with people living under far less desirable conditions I just can't justify much luxury there.

My checklist:

1. Off the ground

2. Shelving space directly above the machines, not attached to the wall that I can't reach over the machines.

3. Clean lines, simple construction, just enough to ease the eye.

My inspiration:

Source: houzz.com via Julia on Pinterest

Before I show you the photos, let me tell you what I learned from this Epic Fail:

1. Just because I don't want to spend a lot of money on something doesn't mean I can go all-out cheap. Quality still matters and I have to trust my instinct above another's advice.
2. I cannot, I repeat that I cannot construct a everything without help. Bummer.

I won't even lead you through the process. Suffice it to say that I had old cabinets from a previous owner that I wanted to recycle as the riser base, and I'd purchased plywood to form the outer casing. I'd planned on added trim and a front face to the riser another time.

Seriously, what was I thinking? At least I didn't have to buy the paint I used. Total $$ lost : $9.00 on wood I won't use again.

Fail. Epic fail.

Be inspired by your greatness against my ineptitude:)

icj,

valentine surprise

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 14:53:00 +0000

Source: thecools.com via The Cools on Pinterest

I couldn't believe it. Hawk woke me this morning with breakfast in bed. The most perfect crisp bacon, thick and straight black coffee, chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, freshly cut pears, and hashbrowns. When the kids woke, he took them downstairs just to give me a little more time to myself.

Brilliant.

I'm even more excited to give him his present. I'll let you know all about it later this evening, and I hope to still post about my epic fail. For your viewing amusement:)

Happy, happy Valentine's Day!!!

icj,
~j

three steps to creating a home bucket list

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 14:09:00 +0000

Source: deliciousdecors.com via Mallory on Pinterest

I've spent a lot of our time living in this house being tired. First, working full-time with an every-day-is-different, odd hours work schedule. Then I was pregnant with the same work schedule. Then there was a (sweet) newborn but the same work schedule. Then pregnancy, infant, work schedule. Then just pregnancy, infant, but discombobulated home schedule due to odd-hour renovations. Then newborn and toddler--the most awake I've felt since getting married! Then, first-trimester pregnancy, infant, toddler. Now, second trimester, infant, toddler, but the energy is coming back. Dang, do I appreciate the second trimester!

And knowing that this energy could be zapped any day, I am eager to get my house in order. How long have I been wanting to get this house in order?!. Better yet, how long have you been wanting your house more orderly? I'm desperate enough that I've tried a few projects alone and had to learn some hard lessons. But more on that epic fail tomorrow.

Today, I've got my home bucket list for y'all and three steps to establishing your own. This list is time-sensitive in that it isn't our grand bucket list, which would include the WFB Trifecta, as it is fondly called in our area: kitchen, master bedroom suite, and family room additions.

Why create a list? Not everyone is a list-maker (I adore lists like other people adore dessert). But for this event, we all need a list. We need visual order and tasks that can then be eliminated/accomplished.

Let's get list-making!

THREE STEPS TO CREATING

A HOME BUCKET LIST :

time-sensitive version

1. Start with the areas that drive us nuts. I learned this from Project Organize Your Entire Life (30% read) that it is best, for me, to work on the places in my home that irritate me and paralyze me from doing good work elsewhere. These areas are not necessarily the most visible to others, but they limit my peace of mind and general efficiency, thereby making everything else more difficult. The biggest area for me is our basement. It keeps me from creating play spaces for our kids that max their creativity and interest, it keeps me from moving disorganization upstairs into rightful storage downstairs, and it just plain stresses me out every day I see it on my way to do laundry.

The Big Deal about this first step is that it is the de-cluttering step. Not a decorating, renovation step which comes later. Proper decorating and renovating can best happen when we see a clean slate before us. POYEL does a great job of explaining this in terms of storage purchases; you know you want more bins, totes, etc., but until you know what actually is left in the space, you won't be able to make the most prudent purchases. I fell for this. We have 18 clear plastic bins, which I know I want to continue using them, but I wouldn't say they've helped me organize too much just yet.

Also, I say start and not identify because I'm finding action words work the best. This first step trumps the following two, but it all works out because of that great word, START.

DO: Sit down and determine your top three "danger zones," those areas that drive you nuts and keep you from other good activity. Then, work your way through your home, room by room, and write down everything you want to accomplish. When you have your list, reorder it in terms of "danger zone" priority on a separate sheet, even separate items within the same space. Remember, you can have three areas listed in one space, followed by two in another, and then two more in the first space. Prioritize in order of your sanity, not in order of physical space.

Then, throw the first list away.

2. Note which actions require additional funds and manpower. For example, I really want our staircase and upstairs hallway done. Hawk encouraged me to get frames up along the stairs (even though 75% are empty), and I finished a chalkboard wall the kids are already glued to. The chalkpaint cost $9 at Home Depot so it didn't require much budget planning, but one of the other actions I want to complete in the space does, and I need a second set of hands. So the upper hallway is still near the top of my list but because it requires more preparation, it may get shuffled around a bit.

DO: Mark those actions which you already know will require more $$ and manpower, and possibly add a planning/budgeting/scheduling task to your list. For our hallway, I know who is willing to help but I need to work around his and his wife's work schedules. This has also allowed me to determine if I can purchase the ingredients this month or the next.

3. Consider what can be done during lag-times. This step helps to keep us from paralysis or inertia. I completed a small laundry decluttering quickly but haven't had the time to tackle the next area in the same way. I made a short list of things I could do quickly, or things that were somewhat standing in my way, so that I could remain active and keep my motivation and momentum.

So during the lag-time between basement decluttering areas, I managed to bring in our kitchen nook table, update our Home Binder, paint three areas with chalkpaint, and destroy the "epic fail" project you'll read about tomorrow. When my kids' naps finally returned to a brief overlap these past two days (thank you, Lord) I was able to start on the next basement area. Slowly but surely.

DO: After creating your first list, either create a shorter, second list from the first or just star those items on the grand bucket that you can complete between bigger projects. These can be done when a smaller chunk of time arises and you want to get something accomplished; fillers between big actions.

Here is the beginning of my list, just to give you an idea:

MY TOP THREE: BASEMENT, MASTER BEDROOM, UPPER HALLWAY

Create & install laundry risers by ~~recycling old cabinets~~. (Need to purchase additional lumber.)
Re-sort all kids and adult clothes in storage.
Build & install large shelving into laundry area.
Create drying area in laundry area.
Paint upper hallway ceiling with opera starbursts (will require $$ for stamp purchase and manpower).
Assemble & install vintage map puzzle as hallway art.
Organize laundry baskets for best use.
Declutter shelving under the basement stairs.
Build second large shelving area behind media wall.
Build third square shelving area behind play cubbie.
Paint opera starbursts in play cubbie.

LAG-TIME ITEMS

~~Paint chalkboards in upper hallway, basement door, hanging board.~~
~~Move low shelving unit into Blue Room.~~
~~Research opera starburst stamp.~~
Research fabric for MBR curtains (will require $$ to purchase).

What do you think? Feel like getting started? I can't recommend the following enough: Project Organize Your Entire Life for getting to a clean slate, and Home Comforts for making a house truly a home. If you catch either, do come back and let us know your experience!

So do tell: what is one of your "danger zones"?

icj,

west elm sale

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 15:16:00 +0000

We're off to a bit of a late start today on the blog, so I thought I'd keep it simple and let you know that West Elm is having a huge markdowns sale, up to 70%. We've not purchased much because in general, we don't purchase much, but the items I've taken home from West Elm are classics in our house.

Case in point, a favorite of all four of us, the Horse Lamp I got a 60% off a few months back:

Good luck shopping! Buy something cool so we can live vicariously through you!

the best parenting advice I've received so far

noreply@blogger.com (the Hawks) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 12:00:00 +0000

Hey gang,

I am ready for Valentine's day, and this whole week is a lovely busy one for us. Happily so. If my plans for the man work out I'll share it here. This one was 2011 and this was 2012. Even though I loathed the holiday prior to marriage, since wedding Hawk, it seems to get me giddy. And he usually does nothing (usually as in always) but it's never bothered me. I'm not just saying that, either! I know the guy is supposed to be alls-romantic, but in our house, I rule this day.

I digress..on to that parenting advice.

When we were preparing for Poppy's arrival I was worried that they kids wouldn't get along. Ace was only 15 months when she was born so we couldn't prepare him for the big day very much. Abstract realities just don't sink in at that age. I feared that we'd bring a baby home and Ace would be harshly confused.

One evening, my friends Grace and Colleen were over, both mothers of five children. And these 10 kiddos all get along well with their brothers and sisters (ages high school to k5). Sure, they throw some random punches, roll their eyes and ignore each other at times, but it is obvious that they actually enjoy each other. Genuine pleasure and joy. They take interest in each other's lives. They remember what is important. They give of themselves. They laugh and read and watch movies together.

I want that.

So I asked them for advice on avoiding sibling rivalry and jealousy that everyone else told me to expect as a matter of course. They looked so puzzled, like, why would bad family dynamics be considered the norm?

Here's what Grace taught me:
She gave me a scenario. Say you're sitting on the couch, reading to Ace, and the baby starts crying upstairs. What do you do?

I replied that I would tell him, Oh, Ace, I'm sorry, the baby is crying. We need to get the baby and then we can keep reading.

Right, she said. And did you notice your tone of voice?

Hmmm. My tone of voice. I went over it again in my head. I'm sure you could hear it, too, when you read it above, and see the look on my face---everything about my face, words, and tone said, This isn't a great thing for you. My brow was slightly furrowed (is that the right word?). Without realizing it, I was instructing Ace to be annoyed and to perceive the needs of his sibling as an infringement upon his own goods rather than an awesome experience that only adds to his own.

What if, Grace continued, you made it exciting and made sure Ace was involved? Say, "Yay! The baby is awake! Let's go get the baby together!" and get some genuine joy on that face. Ask him to help you with the diaper. Let him choose her clothes. Make this "interruption" a joyous family occasion.

And then she said the kicker: why should a sibling be jealous of another?

Duh. Why did I think the norm was jealousy? What if the norm was brilliance instead?

It was SO COMMON SENSE, but I totally needed to hear it, and I never would have thought of it on my own.

So I've followed her advice to a T and adjusted it for each occasion. I let him open her door, get her clothes, kiss her when she gets hurt, pass her apples, etc. And you know what? Ace understands that as a family, our needs and actions affect each other. He gets that he has to wait and take turns but he also knows he has an essential and good role in his sister's life. that he has to be gentle, that he is Poppy's "protector," as I tell him daily. From day 1, Ace has raced me to Poppy's room, or ~~tries to~~ helped her when she gets hurt, or shared his cookies and chocolate with her without prompting. They love to wake each other up, share books and wrestle our big stuffed monkey together, chase each other from room to room, albeit slowly as Poppy is just a crawler. They kiss and cuddle through Mass. Yes, he also pushes her down to see if she'll cry, he tackles and wrestles her too hard (but it is hilarious), and grabs things when he shouldn't. But to me, that's very normal mine-versus-yours learning for his age, not jealousy or annoyance or antagonism.

I mean, this is what I dreamed of.

And there's an added bonus. I get excited, too. My plans involve both personalities at once, but I still get to spend one-to-one time with each little person and the other one understands. We spend evenings giggling and screeching around the house. Ace walks down the stairs and says, Mama, we love Poppy so much!

Yes, little man, we do. And we love you.

This attitude, one of excitement, gratitude and joy for the ways we are involved in each other's lives has given the tone of my entire life more excitement, gratitude, and joy. And patience. Dude, way more patience than I thought I'd pump out so easily.

I hope this adds to your current or future parenting experiences as positively as it has to mine!

icj,
~j

UPDATE: I've already received a request for a printable go-to list of sorts based on this post. I'll have that ready for next Monday's post. Thanks for the great suggestion!