Holy Crap! Four Boys!

Pucker Up

2014-06-26T15:00:00.000-05:00

Jerry and I like to joke that we have Sour Patch Kids, at first they are nothing but squeeze your eyes shut and pucker your mouth sour. Then, if you can stick it out with them for a bit they get sweet with a little time.

Some of them are a bit more Sour Patchy than others - say Stan and George at the moment. These two are not only out to get me to turn in my Mom license and leave and premises, but they are constantly going at each other.

(photos in motion are clearly my forte)

I am trying to remember if Dave and Frank did this too, and my addled sieve-like brain can't seem to remember anything more than 12 minutes ago and since I never put together anything close to a baby book for any of my kids I guess we'll never know for sure and I can just make it up and revise history as I see fit.

Of note, on the baby book thing. At first I didn't do one for Dave because I naively thought, how could a mom ever forget all those cute moments in a baby's life? The first smile, the first solids, the cute new words, the giggles and the bath times would all indelibly be marked on my brain.

When Frank came along and I started losing track of who got a tooth at 14 months and who hit the ten pound mark when, I started thinking it might be a good idea to write some of this stuff down, but I really never found the time.

With Stan I really started to panic and thought that every boy's childhood would barely be memorable to me but by then I couldn't remember too much about Dave's fuzzy babyhood and I didn't want everything to be unfair, so I just scrapped the idea of starting one for Stan only.

Now with George I find that when Jerry shows me a baby photo of one of the boys I incorrectly identify it 87% of the time because they are all clones. I have also started making up their birth weights when asked on medical forms because the only one I know for sure was Dave's because he was a super tiny preemie that scared the bejeezes out of me at 4# 6oz. Why do they need to know anyway? I'm a doctor and I can't figure it out. Doesn't seem to important, so 6# 13oz sounds about right.

Ranting aside, back to my bickering littles, right now I'm feeling like Dave and Frank did fight. I have a vague memory of Dave always trying to step on Frank's head to see if I would respond (I usually did) and that they consistently fought over toys, my lap, the same breathing space, and I think some biting was involved.

Stan and George are following in those footsteps and their jealousy runs deep. I always secretly wished that boys would fight over me, and now sister, I got my wish - four fold. I swear when one climbs on my lap the other can sense it from across the house and comes running to gut it out for Mom Lap Dominion. They are not too into the "each of you take a leg" compromise either. They are more of the "push the other one off the lap to their death and/or injury" ilk.

Ah, the peace and serenity of my house is palpable.

One of the quieter moments between the Brawling Bros. Right before they started slapping one another while going down the slides.

The Kingdom of Whine

2014-06-16T17:11:00.000-05:00

Now that summer is in full swing we are all trying to settle into the new normal routine. Which means the wheels are coming off a bit from our finely tuned (ha!) machine. The kids are totally confused because some rules have been completely and gleefully abandoned (bed on time? no way - who cares!), and others have been reinforced and clamped down even more (TV, iPhones, or iPad in the afternoon? no way - the sun is shining! get thee and your kin outside).

In the wake of all the confusion over rules there has been lots of whining and complaining and pushing of limits to see who can get me to crack first. They're getting close. At one point when I told them to clamp the whining to nil because while their Dad was nice and wouldn't take away all fun things (popsicles, TV, Pretty Ponies [Stan], bubbles), I was not so nice and I wouldn't hesitate to ruin their week. Should I have been surprised that not one boy came to my defense and said, "No Mom, you're nice too"? Not really. I am the pooper to their party.

In case anyone is wondering after reading this whether my children have any fun, I assure you they have tons. Case in point...

^^^Dairy Queen after haircuts on Friday. Thank God a Kids' Hair coupon finally came around so my littluns could finally see beyond they're over-long bangs

^^^BBQ and watching movies with their cousin on Saturday

These little dudes and I are going to have a sit down and clarification over what the summer will look like, rules and all. And after they let me talk, talk, talk for a while they will remember nothing and hop along on their happy way while most likely asking me if they can stay up late, eat nothing but candy, and watch iPad all afternoon while George is sleeping.

7 QT's - it's Friday

2014-06-13T12:23:00.001-05:00

1. It's summer. The boys are outside all the time now and they are dog tired at night. I love it. I actually have kids that will sleep past 6am now. The true test is this weekend, when I will inevitably be woken up by someone because the sleep gods do not love me anymore. I'm not sure who it will be, but I can guess the reason...
           -Dave will pop his bright eyes open and be ready for the day because he's just like his Dad. I'm so happy those genes got passed along (sarcasm included).
           -Frank it will not be unless something is terribly amiss in his little world. He is my sleeper and likes to lounge in bed just like his Mama. I'm so happy those genes got passed slong (sarcasm no where to be seen).
           -Stan will poop. Every single morning same story and same absolutely rude awakening.
           -George is the only one alone in his bedroom and he would like some company when his peepers are open. So he calls his minions in for some attention. Loudly.

2. The boys kicked off the tubing season and now summer will be filled with this question. "When are we going to Grandma and Grandpa's to go tubing? Why do we NEVER go there?" This is always quickly followed by, "I'm bored." Me too, my man, me too.

3. I made the radical decision to take out my sad excuse of a flower garden and put sod over it. I am finished yelling at the boys 764 times a day to get out of my garden and instead choose to give them more room to run which will hopefully make them more tired (see #1). This will also free me from the guilt of never weeding and watching as my sad little flowers get choked out by stinging nettle and other fun garden bullies.

4. I took 317 pictures of Dave, Frank and Stan in their little yellow rain jackets to get the perfect picture of "my little ducklings". I just knew it was going to kill on Instagram. This is as good as it got. Luckily more rain this weekend to try again. #silverliningsarenotmything

5. I had a yard sale to clear out the baby stuff I had accumulated in my home over the past seven years of motherhood. It was going to be epic. Instead it was an epic fail. I collected exactly one Andrew Jackson for a jumper bouncy chair. I gave away a lot of stuff and we had a lot of stuff left over. This meant I had to itemize all the stuff going to Goodwill which resulted in me quietly crying on the front porch steps while hugging a onesie with poop and baby spit-up stains on it. I'm really glad our family is complete with our four Wild Ones, but letting go of the infant stuff was still tough. It's unbelievable how many memories can get tied up into simple material goods. I swear I could picture each boy in those outfits and remember it all so clearly.

6. Popsicles then...

7. Popsicles now...

Thanks to Ms. Whitaker for hosting.
Auf wiedersehen madchen!

Sometimes I just don't even know

2014-06-12T22:15:00.001-05:00

I was hosting Book Club (reality check: Wine Club) a couple weeks ago and as I was prepping in the kitchen doing some intense chopping fueled by a Kirkland brand margarita I heard Frank scream. This scenario is not abnormal in my house in any way on any evening be it the intense chopping rushing to get dinner on the table, the margarita, or the screaming. I have finely tuned my Mom Ears to pick up the screams I need to listen to and those I need to ignore and pore a teensy bit more margarita in my glass. This was one I needed to heed, in double time.

I drop the chef knife and book it to the toy room to see Frank screaming and crying in obvious distress. He is too distraught to even tell me what happened. I spy Dave sitting quietly, too quietly, too still, on the window seat avoiding my eagle eye glare. I ask him with all the accusation I can muster in my voice what happened to Frank. Dave gives me the expected puzzled look and slow head shake indicating he has no idea why his brother is screaming like he'd like to meet his maker instead of go on another minute. I narrow my eyes and ask again but this time with a threat - David Christopher you better tell me what happened to your brother because he will eventually stop crying and when he tells me what happened it will be much worse if I hear it from him. I see Dave size up Frank (who is wrapped into my maxi skirt by this time) mentally calculate how long it might take Frank to stop crying and decide if he has time to pack a bag and find alternate accommodations. The realization hits him that he either has to crash through the window and run for it, or own up.

Here's how the conversation went down.
D: Frank asked me to kick him in the weiner.
M: What?
D: Frank asked me to kick him in the weiner.
M: ... ... ... ...

Usually I've got the punishment at the ready to be meted out to the correct offender, but this one caught me completely off guard. Then Jerry walks into the situation...

J (stern Jerry - ready to support me in whatever insanity I'm trying to referee): Boys, what's going on?
D: (blank look, not wanting to admit this again)
F: (down to sniffling, still cowering in my skirt, but looking up at me to see if he's in trouble too)
M: Frank told Dave to kick him in the weiner.
J: (quietly dies laughing behind my back)
M: You're both stupid. I'm going back to the kitchen.

^^^ helping move worms into the right place in Grandma's garden

For Posterity... 7 QTs of random

2014-01-17T14:29:00.000-06:00

1) The set-up: Walking home with Dave and Frank last night as we were carrying the sled back from the park. We were discussing how hard it would be to carry four elephants back...

Dave: Carrying two elephants would be hard too.
Me: Yep, it would be really heavy.
Dave: Carrying a half elephant would be even harder. Because of all the dripping blood and stuff.
Me: ... ... ...

2) We are in the midst of trying to potty train Stan. Holy cow I hate potty training. I wish we could fast forward two weeks when I'm going to love being a mom who buys diapers for only one child at Target, but for now it's the pits. I'm obsessed with asking if he needs to use the bathroom and we have done a lot of laundry. I've created a monster who knows how to manipulatively urinate and poop to get treats. What that kid won't do for a jelly bean. Alas, I think he's getting it though, and that is enough of that tirade.

3) It's been a while (again) since I updated. Excuses - none. I got nothing. I will try to be better. There are so many crazy things that the boys do and I'm trying to tuck them away in my brain to write about later so I have some sort of catalogue of horrors I can show them when they're all grown up but I can't remember any of them. My brain is a seive.

4) Christmas this year was a wash. Everyone in the house (minus me!) got a stomach virus. It all started at our Christmas party on December 21. The kids were running wild, the wine and beer were flowing so parents didn't really care about their feral children and then one of the older kids came up and told me someone puked in the basement. Lovely. Sure enough, it was Frank and while he made it to the bathroom, he did not make it to the toilet. Imagine the bathroom scene from "Trainspotting", now multiply the ick factor by 4.7 and you are in the realm of what I encountered down there. Needless to say, parents started grabbing their kids and high-tailing it out of our infected house faster than I could throw jars of peanut butter at them (more on that next). Jerry and I couldn't help but think back to our Christmas parties of long ago when they would last until the wee hours and end with people sleeping in random corners of the house too drunk to make it home. Now, we cleared the place out by 9 pm and were in bed with everything cleaned up by 10 pm waiting for the next puking child to strike.

The contagion spread quickly and one by one everyone fell to the plague. Except, of course, me. Which, as Dave said, is because I'm the leader of the family and take care of everyone. Jerry who was sitting nearby piped in with "She's only 51% boss Dave!"

We half-heartedly opened gifts on Christmas Day and stayed in lock-down to try and prevent the spread of our germs. We still managed to get three of four grandparents sick. We emerged from the illness around New Year's Day and I swore to myself that Christmas would be more fun in 2014.

5) Remember George's reaction to peanut butter? Yeah, so he is allergic to peanuts. Like the full on, we have to carry epi pens around with him kind of peanut allergy. I am amazed at all the things in our house that have peanuts, traces of peanut, or are manufactured in a place where peanuts were at some point. We did a major clean out of our cupboards and decided we would give away all our peanut goods as door prizes at the Christmas party. Because I just bought six 2-quart jars of Skippy creamy from Costco we had a lot to hand out.

Stan is a peanut butter addict and is taking it pretty hard. He hasn't come around to soy nut butter, sunflower butter, or almond butter. Jerry said that our decision to get rid of peanut butter (Stan's main source of nutrtion at this point) is like Sophie's Choice. We either have the peanut butter around and Stan survives but George could die of anaphylaxis, or we get rid of it and keep George safe and watch Stan wither away to nothing and die of malnutrtion. George is pretty cute so we opted for peanut butter out at this point. But we still love Stan and keep sneaking almond butter onto his bread depite loud and cantankerous complaints.

6) I'm going to Chicago this weekend with my cousins and the most important thing that I'm packing is Unisom. Nothing says party weekend with the girls than Unisom. Man I can't wait to sleep past 6:17 am.

7) The boys are thoroughly enjoying winter and haven't been put off by the extreme cold we've had. We always said we wanted to raise boys that were comfortable playing outside in any weather, so far I think we can check that box.

Thanks Jen! Now go visit some other quick takers.

Goodbye, Friend

2013-12-14T15:21:00.003-06:00

The time has come to let it go. This love/hate relationship has run its course and I'm finished.

Yep, goodbye to the old milking machine. My pump and its assorted accoutrements are about to be put away one last time. They have cluttered my minimal bathroom shelf space for long enough and I've got enough milk put away to last G to the 12 month mark. I've been weaning myself from breastfeeding for the last few months when I stopped actually feeding George straight from the tap and went to just pumping and bottle feeding. While I hated to let the breastfeeding snuggles go, it was sooooo much easier to have the ease of a bottle and not fight the endlessly distracted sharp-toothed baby to eat gently. As I watch him gnawing on the bottle nipple every night I know I made a wise choice.

I loathe pumping but to be finished is a little bitter sweet. G is our last babe and it definitely marks the end of a long road for me. I've been pregnant or nursing for about seven years straight so to have my body completely to myself will take a little getting used to.

I am, however, excited to throw away my ratty old nursing bras. Those things have been in rotation about four years too long. I got them with Dave, used them again with Frank, and with Stan I thought he might be our last baby and I didn't want to spend more money so I used them again. Then - SURPRISE! - along came George and my poor girls are tired of those tired old bras.

I am also relieved that I won't relate so closely with the cows in the milking parlor, or the sows who just gave birth feed their litters of 16 at the State Fair. It has pained my nipples to see those poor girls for the last few years and it'll be nice to watch them as a detached visitor rather than thinking "Oh Honeychild - I know that has got to hurt!" and feeling like I knew what she was going through.

Now, what to do with that extra 1.5 hours everyday that I've spent pumping for the last few months. I shudder to think of how much time I've actaully logged with that sucker (literally, it is a sucker) and I can't bring myself to do the math or I may start weeping at the vast number.
When you look at the results of all the hard work, though, who can argue?!?

As an aside, super-mega-fantastic-bonus points to my FIL who shoveled my walks this morning. I was running late getting back to the house where I was meeting him after dropping off Dave. In his boredom he picked up a shovel and got to work. I'm pretty sure this will only encourage me to be tardy in the future if it means these tasks will magically get done in my absence. And, I may just linger in the alley until I'm sure it's all finished.

seven random takes

2013-12-13T14:53:00.000-06:00

I'm taking the lazy way out and letting my phone camera roll do all the work...
Thanks Jen for the link up!
1 -

We took a road trip to Indianapolis over Thanksgiving where 27 (!) of us could all sleep under my brother's very generous roof to spend the holiday together. The boys stayed nestled in the back of the van and Stan insisted that his Dusty pillow was not too big to have with him in his lap the entire way. His brothers are filled with endless patience some days. Others not so much, but that's for further down...

2 -

Sometimes it gets really bright in the car and you need your favorites sunnies to protect your eyes.

3 -

Still with the Dusty pillow for the brief 12 minutes of slumber he had during the 11 hour trip.

4 -

Me and my Kari on our annual sisters post-Thanksgiving shopping trip to all stores decor in Indy. It is a pastime that I feel myself growing into even though I have not a shade of sense when it comes to home decor. Which is why I go on this charade of a shopping trip so my sisters can guide me (and for the lunch). We especially were going for a fuzzy soft frame on this photo for a prom feel too.

5 -

Advent is in full swing at our house. We have daily fights about who gets to move the ornament onto the countdown tree, even though they trade every day on a set schedule. We have a fight every night over who gets to blow out the candles on the Advent wreath and sometimes we resort to relighting a candle because Stan needs to blow one out and we're not to the third week in Advent yet. And, they somehow find a way to fight over their chocolate Advent calendars even though each of them has their own and so the impossible task of sharing is not even up for discussion. Christmas is truly a blessed season.

6 -

This is what happens when people are less patient with Stan and his toddler antics.

7 -

I love slippers and I have passed this oddity onto my children. Or maybe our absolutely freezing cold hardwood floors throughout our drafty old house has made my kids smart enough to wear them. Either way, I think the kiddos look like crazy mini-people walking around in their out-sized feet with random stuff attached to them. Again, don't be overwhelmed by the absolute best blog photography you've ever seen complete with cut-off heads, not centered subjects, and fuzzy movement captured.

BONUS!! -

This is the only time I have ever wished that we named this kid Richard so I could put the obvious punchline on this photo.

SUPER BONUS!!

It's a little cold here and it's slowly killing our poor nanny from South Africa. And last night the radiator in her room went out. I best get home and try to turn some knobs, bleed a valve, or fill a pressure tank - all things I know nothing about but I'm going to attempt or Marianne might be sleeping in my bed tonight.

Peanut Pie

2013-11-21T14:42:00.002-06:00

That is one of my nicknames for George (or any of the kiddos that happen to be in the vicinity), but G gets it most often because he can't run away from my obsesive snuggling yet. So, you will imagine my surprise when little Peanut Pie ate some peanut butter on a waffle and this happened to his face...

Nothing like a little angioedema to make you wonder about what you're feeding your baby.

Anywho, I think we'll be laying off the peanut butter for a while now. Although I'm a little confused because I know he's eaten some thai peanut noodles I amde that had a cup of peanut butter in it that didn't give him any reaction and I'm wondering what the difference is. It is also perplexing because Stan might as well be a walking peanut butter jar given the amount he eats and how it is constantly smeared across his face, hands, clothes, and in the webs of his chubby, sticky fingers. It is a wonder that George hasn't gotten a good dose just from sitting next to him at dinner. The scientist in me wants to test a few theories out to see what happens, but I don't think George wants to be my little lab rat (party pooper!).

This is the food that's been getting all the attention in my house lately.

The boys eat clementines like they'll never see food again. I honestly buy three 6 pound bags each week I'm at Costco and we still usually run out before the week is out. As Jerry said last night "I fear our grocery bills someday", or my pediatrician who told me "Forget about saving for tution, save for nutrition". Dave and Frank each eat 6 clementines at night before bed and Stan eats 2-3. Just to clarify, by eat, I mean he sucks the juice out and leaves annoying dried out carcasses of clemmie sections strewn about my house - ugh, that kid. That is not counting the dozens I peel all day long too. My thumb eventually gets the citrus acid wedged beneath the nail and is all sore, red, and caustic and then I really know we're in citrus season. "Clementine thumb injury time" means that "kids begging bites off my ruby red grapefruit sections I carefully peel for myself" is soon to follow. Love it.

That's enough boredom for one post, no?

My Scattered Brain

2013-11-15T00:13:00.000-06:00

You remember how it works? I spout off unrelated things until you get bored and click somewhere else. Unless you're my Mom who savors every word about her grandchildren and reads through the drivel about me just to get to more exciting stuff about her grandsons, or you're Jerry who reads under duress because he knows he has to.

1) Frank has the best word mix-up right now. It's "girl-er" for girl. I like to give myself a chuckle with this...

M: Frank is that squirrel a boy or a girl?
F: Mom, I don't know if that squirrel-er is a girl-er.

Love it every time.

2) My post-partum bald spots are sprouting hair! They are a luscious one inch long and now I'm challenged with either plastering them to my head with a hair wax and hairspray combo or letting them fly all wispy and crazy all over my head.

Not to mention that they are not matched to my enhanced ahem blonde head.

3) I could not wait for George to be big enough to sit in the high chair and feed himself. Now that he's there I remember what a pain in the butt it is to clean that thing four times a day not to mention the goo that gets stuck all over it from food and the dog saliva covering the whole thing because Stella knows who gives the best hand-outs in the family now.

4) I pulled out all the crafty Mom I could muster this week when Frank had a playdate. He had a girl-er over and so we were challenged to entertain the young miss with more than our usual cache of weaponry and impressive collection of "guys" - meaning super-heroes, bad guys, monsters, ninjas, garbage men, construction dudes, pilots...you know all the guys I step on bare-footed in the middle of the night when I get up to ~~roam the house~~ take care of George.

We decided to go to Artscraps in Saint Paul which is this awesome reuse, upcycle store that sells lots of junk that kids love to comb through and let their imaginations run wild about what to do with it. We walked out with a brown bag full of tongue depressors, yarn, glittered sticks, card stock, sticky glow-in-the-dark mylar paper, 3 styrofoam balls, and a baggy of gold sequins for under $4.

We got home and made some puff balls with the yarn and little puppets with the tongue depressors and yarn. They drew different faces on each side so they could turn on the happy face and say "I love pickles" and then the angry face with "I hate pickles". I have no idea. Kids are just weird.

5) I have the best travel mug in the world. It keeps beverages hot for an insanely long time. Each and everytime I take a sip five hours after I put hot tea in there and think "You've got to be kidding me! How can this still be hot". It's Contigo and I got it in a two-pack at The Costco. Oh! - and it seals. No drips or leaks. Not ever, even upside-down in a jostled diaper bag through Mass.

This thing is a miracle for moms like me who make something and then get distracted by eleventy-six other things before they get back to their much awaited drink five hours later...and it's still hot. God bless the engineers who came up with this thing. It had to be a team lead by women.

6) I heard Dave singing to George "The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up on your face..."

I wish I would've contained my laughter because it startled Dave so he never finished his song and I want to know what happens to George's face with the Itsy-Bitsy Spider on it.

7) I walked out of CVS this week with the herd in tow and an older lady stopped me with the usual "Are these all your boys?" My usual answer (which answers this question, plus the follow-up that always comes) "Yep, they're all mine and they're busy!"

Then came a new one from her "God really loves you!".

When she said this it warmed my heart, because she's right.

Now head over to Jen and read some more takes on Friday

La-la-later!

The Grand Catch-Up

2013-11-14T11:30:00.005-06:00

Holy Cats. At first I was just busy, then I couldn't get in my groove to write, then I just got embarrassed that I hadn't written anything in AGES, and now I'm back to do my penance, proclaim mea culpa and get back in the saddle. Let's just be friends and pretend like the break never happened? Thanks chicas.

Annoyingly, I'm going to harken waaaaaay back to Halloween and make you read through a holiday that no one cares about anymore because Thanksgiving is fastuponus.
Anywho, the quick and dirty is the older boys were pirates but looked like Halloween hobos, Stan was a precious black kitty demanding candy from strangers with barely a please or thank you said in front of the houses and insteaad was always mumbled on the sidewalk where no one but me could appreciate his politeness, and George was a rhinoceros that really looked like a unicorn because I need to perfect my rhino horn making skillz before I put that baby into production (just kidding, that will never happen, there is no market for poorly homemade baby rhino costumes and I am just barely aware enough to realize this. Maybe I'll open my Etsy shop next Halloween).

George rocking his rhino/unicorn horn like no other bebe can with his MN Godmom.

I like this photo because Frank looks like a cyclops pirate - a whole new level of scary.

Full pirate dress.
Jerry pulled together a last minute pumpkin head costume that was rad, but painful to wear. Finally he has a slight glimmer of understanding for what women go through with all their clothing but especially heels, hosiery, bras, thongs, jeans that I can't eat in, and shapewear. However, he got to slip his pumpkin head off at the party and be relieved of all his discomfort. It's not so cool for me to just take of my bra, thong, and heels at a party and just hang out while I make myself at home. Always the ladies suffer for fashion.

For those interested for next year's Halloween Fiesta, here's how he made his costume. Super easy...
You need a pretty large punkin, I'm sure you can imagine why. It's going on your head smarty-pants. Cut open the pumpkin from the bottom and scoop out the guts. Jerry had to cut and test the head opening a couple times before he got it large enough to fit all his brains in there. He wore a swim cap to keep his locks punkin free. Cut out your pumpkin face too.

He got all DIY on this costume and made a patent pending "comfort ring" out of a rolled up t-shirt and some duct tape to shape it into a ring. Put this on the inside stem end so your noggin has something stable to keep the pumpkin balanced.

Put on a tux and call it a day.

He pulled me into his costume because I had nothing planned for myself after sewing costumes for the four boys. He let me be his punkin carver.

Stan's favorite part of Halloween was November 1 when I went to Target and on a whim bought him a Dusty costume from Planes for 70% off.

The child has not taken the costume off for a day except for wrestling him out of it to wash it a few times. He looks adorable and I love and appreciate his loyalty to all things Dusty at this point in his short life.

Okay, that is all the tardy Halloween hoopla I can make you suffer through.

Later (but hopefully not so much later as it was last time)

DIY boys pirate costume... how not to do it

2013-10-25T11:33:00.000-05:00

I am sometimes a weeee bit ambitious in the sewing department. I like to think because I've watched a few seasons of Project Runway that I can work my way pretty handily around a sewing machine. I assure you, I cannot. However, I love making the boys Halloween costumes and this year Dave and Frank decided that they wanted to be pirates. So pirate costumes... how to do it. Or read this, then read someone else's blog on how you really do it and follow their advice to a tee while laughing at my sad creations.

First off, let's get a pirate joke out of the way...
This is my favorite from the Hasting's Pirate Day website in the UK...

-What's a pirate's favourite letter of the alphabet?
....I've always had trouble with me alphabet, mate...I always get stuck at C!!

Alright onward with this riveting drivel...
The first and by far largest mistake was taking the boys with me to the fabric store.
I don't know what I was thinking. It was crowded with the rest of the amateurs trying to piece together some costume and I was the only one stupid enough to bring three boys with me. They picked out the craziest Halloween fabrics that make them look not at all like pirates, but like Halloween hobos. They were super exctied to pick out their fabric though, and I had to keep reminding myself that I was not making a costume for me but for my little hobo wannabes. Aren't I just the most selfless mom? (loads of wink with that one)

Pants -
First thing I did is get a pair of Frank's pants and fold them in half and cut out around them. I then repeated this process four times. Mistake #1 - don't do that. After I cut everything I figured out that I really only need two of that shape and then I should've flipped the pants over and cut out mirror images for the other two. Oops.

Ok, so then I had to sort of cut and shape something that I thought would work without having to go out and buy more awesome flame fabric which Frank insists are ghosts, not flames - whatever matey.

Now I'm showing Dave's pants instead because Frank's were a bit of a mess after my first misstep. Which was followed closely by my second misstep which was sewing the inseams together. Seriously. I sewed the edge and lifted them up to look at my awesomeness and instead saw what a tool I was for sewing the legs together. I wish I would've taken a photo of this but I was so mad I immeadiately attacked the "pants" with my seam ripper. (they can't in reality be called pants because they weren't at all pants, more of an awkward tube at this point)

So let's start again with Dave's skull head pants
Step #1 - cut two of this shape...

Step #2 - take one of those pieces and flip it over onto the fabric and cut two of the flipped shape.

Step #3 - take a fuzzy photo of it for the worst how-to blog ever

You should have four pieces that look like below now. If you don't I would encourage you to join me in sewing class.

Step #4 - Pin just the crotch part together and only sew that part together. If you go down further you will not have pants, you will have the weird tube (see above)

Step #5 - Open the pants up and admire that you are not in fact the biggest idiot on the planet and can visualize where pants get sewn together.

Step #6 - Sew the outside edges together. And then finally sew the correct portion of the inseam together to make two pant legs. Is this perfectly disorienting and not at all making sense? Good, that's how I felt making them too.

Step #7 - Fold over a waist band and sew that up.

Make sure your fold is big enough to accomodate whatever size elastic you found laying around in the drawers that your kids ransack and pillage on a regular basis. Make sure to leave a two inch space open so you can get your elastic in.

Step #8 - Thread the elastic through.

Step #9 - Take a break for a manicure. Those hands look tired and could use a little snazzy polish, no?

Step #10 - Sew the elastic together using a zig-sag stitch (I have no idea why this is important, but I remember that the blog tutorial I used to make crib sheets emphasized this and she knows what she's talking about and I don't so let's just go with what she suggests). I think it is muy importante to have elastic that will hold or else your little pirate will be mooning the entire neightborhood in his quest for more candy booty.

Step #11 - Finish off closing the waist band

Step #12 - admire your handy work. Oh! and I didn't finish the hems on the bottom because I haven't decided if I'm going cut them all ratty and ship-wrecked style, stuff them into felt "boots" that I bought 2 yds of black felt to make and will probably never happen before the big All Hallows Eve, or if I should just let them hang and go with it because they are for a Halloween costume. I've seen worse construction go down the runway in front of Nina Garcia and Michael Kors, so maybe I'll just leave it.

Take a break to play dress up yourself.

Ok - now can you even handle the how-to for the vest?!? I know, chomping at the bit and all that.

Step #1 - lay out a shirt on your fabric and cut around it leaving a little extra for seams and so you don't cut your perfectly good shirt. This is now the back of your vest.

Step #2 - cut out another piece like the first, but leave more on the side edges so there's some room to make the vest overlap in the front. I imagined a sort of Diane von Furstenberg type wrap at the front because I know pirates are concerned about being fashionable too.

Step #3 - cut along the middle of the second piece with the wider edges

Step #4 - cut a v-neck into the front pieces. No rhyme or reason to this, just how much pec do your boys want to show off

Step #5 - Sew a finished edge onto the arm holes, along the neckline (front and back), and down the front edges. Wow - look at that precision. I really can't imagine how many seamstresses I'm ~~making sick~~ inspiring right now.

Step #6 - Pin and sew the shoulders together and the sides, while not sewing the arm holes shut. I'll not go into the details on why I know this to be an important reminder.

Step #7 - talk your tantruming toddler off the ledge. Stan was pretty ticked that I had not started his kitty costume yet. Lots of agony in that face.

Just a bonus photo of G takin'a ride and chillin' in the Costco cart.

Want to see the finished product?? You'll just have to read up on the Halloween post I'm sure to ~~bore~~ delight you with. Actually that's just my lame excuse. I really just forgot to take a picture of the boys once they had the costumes on because I couldn't stop laughing at them. Hobos of the High Seas they be indeed.

Aaaaaand, you lucky readers get to be amazed at whatever I cobble together for Stan and George too. Hang on to your seats, I know you can hardly wait.

Later - I've got some sewing to do

It's Friday...and the best day of the year

2013-10-17T23:03:00.001-05:00

I'm linking up with Jen for this very special edition of 7 Quick Takes. Here goes...

1) It's my BIRTHDAY!!! I love, love, LOVE my birthday and think it is definitely the best day of the year without a doubt. It's an entire day dedicated to celebrating me, the day of my birth and all the great things about me (at least that's how I choose to see it). Kidding. I just really like having everyone I love check in with a quick Happy Bday and knowing that they're thinking of me on my special day. And, the presents. Again, I kid! (sort of)

2) I'm away at a conference and missing my family. It was really weird driving to WI by myself and not having the peanut gallery in the back with their constant chatter to accompany my every moment. It was eerily quiet. So quiet that I had to get Ira Glass to be my companion with a couple downloads of This American Life. I love that show and it's even better when I can get it on demand.

3) At this conference I have learned one very important thing. I no longer possess the ability to sit still. In medical school it was an average day to have my butt in an auditorium seat for 8-10 hours of lectures followed by extra time in the library. But, it's been, ahem, a few years since I was doing that and luckily between chasing boys at home and running around the clinic my days rarely involve a lot of sitting. There seems to be a curvilinear relationship with age and the ability to sit. I know from direct observation that my boys have no tolerance for sitting still. I hope that will improve in the next couple years and perhaps peak in their college or grad school years (many prayers and fingers crossed) and now I think my sitting tolerance is quickly declining again. I can make it through Mass and that's about my limit. God help us all when it's a long homily. I'm hoping that has something to do with Stan constantly mussing up my hair with trucks and leaning out of my lap until I'm on the verge of dropping him.

4)

(It's hard to see the animals I have on the vertical axis. From bottom to top they are flea, puppy, squirrel, bats during the day, panda, and sloth. I need to snaz up my graphs next time)

I have given you graphical representation of WTH I am blabbing about in #3. I think Dave is approaching the sitting tolerance of a puppy at age six and I peaked at sloth-like daily activity in med school, and now I'm back down to about a squirrel.

5) I drew my graph on a piece of paper that I had folded into a paper airplane during a lecture. I am not good at folding paper airplanes anymore (it dumped after about 2 feet) and I think I need to brush up on this skill so I can amaze the boys with my mad paper folding and airplane flying skillz. At least I think it looks cool with the rad lightening and racing stripes. Disclosure that all my flight tests were after the lecture so don't worry about it.

6) I am staying with a friend from college while I'm in Madison and it's so fun to catch up with girlfriends. I am constantly amazed that I have such good and constant friends that even when we don't talk for months, once we're together it's like no time at all has passed. What a lucky lady I am!

I'm trying to decide if I'm the worst houseguest or the ideal houseguest. Basically I leave the house before anyone is really up and I come back after everyone has already turned in. Same story for tomorrow. If I could somehow find a way to do the guest bed sheets once I leave I think that would rocket me to ideal in no time.

7) George has a new tooth and a new nickname.

He has one of his bottom teeth in and he looks like a little jack-o-lantern at this most appropriately spooky time of year. His new nickname is "Rhino" because he likes to head butt everything in his path while he crawls around. Doesn't matter what it is - parents, doors, walls, toys, brothers, dogs, cribs - they all get a gentle-to-sometimes-aggressive nudge to move out of his way.

I find it endearing because I am his adoring mother, and I'm actually hoping the nickname sticks because who doesn't want to room with a guy named Rhino at camp or college?

Hope everyone has an incredible October 18 (best day of the year)! Feel free to drop me a Happy Birthday in the comments. The best present would be actual comments after my blog - shall I even dare to wish for ten? Aim high Meggie, aim high.

Tub Time

2013-10-17T16:02:00.000-05:00

My cousin Emily and her sweet bebe Louie came over for a visit the other day and we had a great time letting the little crawlers paw each other and watching Louie try to knock George over in the friendliest manner possible. We decided to throw the two little boys in the bath together before they headed home so Em would have a sweet-smelling, clean baby all ready for bed when she got home.

Louie had been making some pretty interesting faces indicating that he was having some gastrointestinal, shall we say, issues, during dinner. Basically he was working on his business and seemed to get the job done. We got the little dudes into the tub and soaped and cleaned up and were letting them play. G started fussing and wanted to get out, to eat, and go to bed. We barely got George out of the tub and next thing we know Louie is letting round two rip in the tub and we were left with this…

Em profusely apologized and all I could do was laugh. I scooped out what I could with a cup, threw out the unfortunate wash cloth and booger sucker that were part of the collateral damage, let the rest go down the drain and gave the whole tub a good spray with Clorox.

It totally reminded me of when Dave was a toddler and having some trouble with being a bit plugged up in the poop department. We tried pear juice, prune juice, peach juice, and apricots and nothing seemed to help. The poor guy would pace around the house yelling “my bottom hurts” until an inevitable explosion would finally come. Then peace would descend throughout the land.

D was having one of those days and we were getting so tired of hearing him complain even though we know he must be uncomfortable. We told him to relax, to just think about something else, to do anything but please for the love of Pete stop telling me your bottom hurts!

We were over at my parents’ house with my brother’s family and stuck Dave in the tub with a couple cousins and some bubbles. One of his older cousins was playing around with a booger sucker and shooting Dave on the tummy with the water when my brother who was monitoring the bath saw something solid land on Dave’s stomach. He was only perplexed momentarily and with dread he parted the sheet of bubbles covering the water and started yelling, “Code brown! Code brown!”

We all came running and started getting kids out of the tub and into a different shower to be cleaned yet again. We were pretty sure who the culprit of the pooptastic tub time was, but he wouldn’t confess when we asked him. I’m not sure if he thought he was in trouble or if he really didn’t notice what was going on on his rear side, but he insisted it wasn’t him.

We asked him straight out and he said again it wasn’t him and then, after a pause, he says, “Who pooped in that tub?” and because every adult in the room couldn’t stop laughing he just kept repeating it over and over. Here’s this kid who took the biggest dump ever in my Mom’s bathtub who earlier that day was telling everyone how plugged up he was now innocently asking, “Who pooped in that tub? Who pooped in that tub?” Oh my lord it was funny. And he said it for weeks afterward. At least the repetition of that phrase never got old like the other one did.

Louie is older and bigger than George so Louie kindly lets G borrow his hand-me-downs. Because George gets to be so darn stylish in Louie’s clothes all is forgiven about him crapping in our tub.

Visit anytime Louie, but next time you’re wearing a swimmy diaper in my tub.

Duluth Summed Up

2013-10-12T07:35:00.000-05:00

It was 44F. It was cold. It was windy. There was rain.

The hotel had a pool with a waterslide. It had a pull-out bed and we didn't care if the boys jumped on it. The hotel had a vending machine.

There were non-stop movies in the van. There was much McDonald's on the menu.

So, that's the short of it. If you can stand it you can read the long of it now...

We took our first vacation as a family of six (plus Marianne!) last weekend. I have been trying to convince Jerry that it would be the greatest thing in the world to take our little family to Disney this winter and he's not biting on that one (read - he thinks I'm insane) so I came up with a little mini-vacation instead. I decided that we would head to Northern MN to see some fall foliage at its finest.

Mind you the weather this fall has been spectacular - warm, breezy, pleasant, idyllic. I have been obsessively checking the DNR fall color map to see if we would hit the peak and every indication was that we were spot on for timing. Every indication was also that the weather was going to blow. I mean be windy. The National Weather Service unfortunately hit their predictions spot on this time. On Saturday morning we woke to a steely looking Lake Superior with sheets of cold rain getting blown around. Not a family to be kowtowed by a little nasty weather (we're Minnesotans afterall!!) we decided to still give it a go.

As you can see it was a little chilly and everyone was having a fantastic time. Also, you can see I like to put everyone in blue shoes. You could say I see a trend and I kill it.

After approximately 47 seconds and almost losing Stan over the cliff's edge because it was so dang windy we decided to call an audible and end the hiking fun and head to Duluth to the Railroad Museum. Oh, and for all you concerned people out there Little G isn't in the photo because he's the best photographer in the bunch.

My comatose little automatons watching an anesthetizing DVD we picked as the least annoying to just listen to in the van while we're driving. Favorites right now are Dave - Scooby Doo anything, but especially the old ones with the Globe Trotters, Frank - How to Train Your Dragon (which he calls "Potty Train Your Dragon"), Stan - Chuggington (which Dave last night called "Boring-ton" ha!).

Even facing backward and unable to see the delights of the movie behind him George stays vastly entertained by his mouth open, eyes glazed over, drooling brothers watching from the back.

Basking in the fun at the P-O-O-L. This was the wading pool where we spent the majority of our time. There was a giant frog slide that the boys enjoyed sliding down while making frog burping noises. It never got old...for them. If you look closely there are two empty plastic cups. They were filled with the key to our sanity and made the pool experience buckets of fun for Jerry and I. Those bottles of wine and an opener were the best last minute packing idea I have ever had. We had polished off 1.5 bottles by 5 pm since we started drinking in the afternoon. We were both agreed it was the best buzz ever because it made the bedtime shenanigans more tolerable, we were in bed ourselves by 9 and no headache the next morning. Rock on crazy parents, rock on.

Since Disney-lite went so well, how much time do you think it will take me to talk Jerry into the real thing?

7QT - for reals

2013-10-11T13:36:00.001-05:00

I'm linkin' up with Jen and I'm headin' straight in...

1) Our dog ran away on Tuesday. Okay, actually I let her outside without her leash or collar and may have encouraged her to take a run for the squirrel in our neighbor's yard. I kid!! We were all very sad and worried about sweet, dumb Stella (who practically defines being a dumb blonde) because when I think of her, "street savvy" does not leap to my mind. Luckily I posted our little runaway to the local humane society lost dog page the next morning and got a call not even two hours later that she had been picked up by animal control the day before.

Now, before anyone gets crazy about us being irresponisble pet owners, yes she is chipped. I asked the animal control officer about it when I picked Stella up from dog jail (please Lord, may I never have to go to real jail to pick up one of my human charges) and she says, "hmmm, the guy before you says his dog was chipped too and our reader didn't pick it up." Turns out the reader wasn't working and they had to go back and rewand the dogs in Puppy Pokey and start finding some homes for those pooches.

Here she is looking innocent and worn out from her adventures.

2) I was a chaperone on Dave's first kindergarten field trip. We went to the apple orchard and it was a gorgeous day. The weather was warm and the orchard was absolutely breath taking with its view to the river valley. The Kinders each got to pick two apples to bring home and I was bummed that the adults got none and I couldn't convince D to share his with me. The kids were pretty contained during the educational portion of the trip and then they got to blow off some steam at another orchard down the road with a couple play structures and they got wild. Lots of climbing hay stacks, scampering over a play train, feeding goats, and running around in general mayhem. Pretty much what you'd expect with a gathering of 29 kindergartners.

I drove with Dave and two boys from his class and while moms with all girl carpools got an earfull of talk involving boyfriends, ponies, and hair ties, I was privileged to overhear chatter about if it would be cooler if trees were made of spaghetti or pizza, what ninjas would do in an orchard (they'd play hide and seek was the conclusion), and some poopy talk which I tried (in vain) to swiftly rein in.

3) I had one of the best, most romantic date nights ever with my cousins. We went to Minnihaha Falls and it was running pretty hard from all the rain over the weekend. Best GF's, pitchers of beer, and fried fish - can't beat a night like that.

We even called my aunt to try and convince her to go to Mexico with us - luckily she's not a hard sell. She sent back this photo to show us the wild cra-zay night she and Uncle Fireball were having at home.

4) Look who's riding in the big boy swing now??

5) Universal groan heard 'round the world! Guess what I'm talking about - more canning! This time I attempted tomatoes. I got a huge box full of red, orange, yellow heirloom varities and while I hated to can such beauties, there was no way we were going to get through all of them before the dreaded rot set in. This is the first time I've done tomats and I decided to crush them so I could use them for sauce, soup, stew and I screwed it up. No botulism, but when I took the jars out of the canner the solid tomato was floating on the top and the liquid awas along the bottom. A few quick google searches while I was in the car line waiting to pick up D from school revealed that I had cooked them too long and ruined the pectin integrity or something, but I wasn't going to kill anyone by serving them. Just give em a shake-a shake-a, and them tomats will be good as gold.

6) I went to the car wash and they found these kids CDs that I checked out in May hidden somewhere in the van. The find was especially fortuitous because I had just gotten a $38 bill from the library to replace them. Yay car wash buddies! That day was a double score because the kids got to shoot cars with soap as they went down the line and I bought them all Twizzlers to keep them somewhat contained while patiently waiting for our clean car to get dried off. Wins all around.

7) Grampie love from the boys.

My Mom and I are going as twins for Halloween.

Have a most pleasant weekend!

Seven Quicks

2013-09-27T15:13:00.003-05:00

1) Kindergarten expectations were high a few weeks ago when Dave finally started and I must say that sadly, those expectations have not been met. And I'm talking about me, not Dave. If you want his opinions you'll have to roll on over to his blog mymomdoesntgetmeandshemakesmeeathergrosscookingeverynight.com

My expectations were super high for this year. I was told that I would have an exhausted child every night for at least the first month as Dave made the transtition from 10.5 hours of school every week to 35 hours of school. Parents went on and on about kids falling asleep in the car ride home, at the dinner table, and kids too tired to hold their precious little kindergarten brains up with their tired little arms from all that PE class.
I couldn't wait. I was going to revel in that child being sleepy and ready for bed for once in his life.

Fast forward three weeks into this gig and I feel cheated. Dave is the exact opposite of tired as he runs around the house telling me he needs to "get the crazies out" by jumping, doing some pretty sweet break-dancing ground moves, and standing on his head... all in quick succession of eachother. Could it be that he has more energy now because he's sitting in class for more of the day instead of running around like a wild man all day? Literally, I wonder what I created. How could this child who completely eschews sleeping come from a mother who relishes sweet bedtime each night and loathes leaving bed every morning? Holy heavens help me, it could be a long road to get this kid to college graduation.

2) We're going to an apple orchard this weekend and I'm sure I will pick about 30 pounds of apples and then come home and panic about what to do with them all. I usually peel, core, slice and freeze them to make apple pie or apple sauce throughout the year. I'm a little tight on freezer space this year so I'm thinking of canning a bunch. Any tips or tested recipes out there?

3) Speaking of canning (I know. When will I stop harping on this thoroughly engrossing subject? I don't think ever, so you may just need to stop reading before you want to prick your eyes out with pencils) it was pickle day on Tuesday! Finally the day arrived when we could bust open the pickles I made and canned a month ago. We polished off the first quart in short order and no one has succumb to food borne illness yet. Although, my face feels a little numb and my right elbow is super itchy, so we'll see, I could be dying as I'm typing. I'm sure you're dying as you're reading. From boredom.

4) I downloaded the My Kodak Moments app while at Tar-jay this week so I could quickly pull a photo off my phone to print there. I know, how quaint to actually have a hard copy of a photo instead of just storing it for all eternity on my phone while Apple continues to send me ~~threats~~ reminders that my cloud is getting weighty and filled up. But, D needed a baby pic to bring to school and I had to do something quick before I got a rep at school for being the super disorganized mom who never gets stuff in on time. I have plenty of time to earn that reputation over the next umpteen years of school with the boys and didn't feel I needed to reveal that side of myself within the first month. Back to the point Meggie. The app is great and works seamlessly to send photos from phone to photo kiosk over wifi and then gets printed out while you shop for all the not essentials I end up with in my cart.

5) There was a school pizza party this week for the Kinders and their families. My Bull in the China Shop who is also lovingly known as Stan threw a rock at another kiddo and drew blood. So even though my penchant for being mildly disorganized, a bit of a procrastinator, and maybe a leeeetle crazy has not been revealed to other school parents, it appears that we will be known as the family with the toddler who maims older kids. This whole school business is off to a rarin' start.

6) I made a pasta last night that the kids ate with only mild complaint. This is not monumental as I can usually get them to eat pasta, but it had meat mixed in which I was afraid would throw off the whole dinner equilibrium and ruin everything. Though there was much breath holding on my part, they ate and seemed full which allowed me a chance to drink wine. win-win. Here's the super complex recipe - don't feel bad if you can't follow along on my crockpot culinary adventure.
   -in the morning before you're really awake wield a giant knife and roughly cut up into big chunks a couple country pork shoulder ribs from the Costco into crockpot
   -put some salt, pepper, oregano and garlic powder (or whatever you happen to grab in your bleary eyed stupor) on meat and add 1/4 water
   -cook meat on low for 4 hours, then add a jar of TJ's basil marinara sauce (or in my case since I left for work at this point leave this in the capable hands of your nanny - hey Marianne!!)
   -continue to cook on low until you get home from work almost too exhausted to put a pot of boiling water on for penne
   -persevere (because you are a super mom) and boil the damn pot of water
   -cook pasta
   -dump cooked pasta into crock pot
   -pour wine for yourself and hubby
   -ignore kids and pretend you're in a really loud restaurant and complain about families who bring really loud and unruly kids into restaurants

7) Phew - almost there Hang in there family who I will quiz about this later to make sure you are reading! I'm getting the itch to paint a couple rooms in my home. Our bedroom being one of them. Any great color suggestions out there? I'd like something sort of subdued and mature, just like me. I saw a grey with a hint of purple that I thought might work. Is this crazy? I stink at decorating.

Go over to Jen's for more 7 QT's.

It's 2-for-1!!

2013-09-25T21:20:00.003-05:00

I'm a little inconsistent with the art of blogging sometimes. I have no excuses. Wait, yes I do. It's just not really a good one. The excuse is that I've been dragged into Litchfield Women's Prison and I cannot escape. I am watching "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix so every spare moment I am watching this show in 3 minute increments because that is the only break time my CO's (ahem, children) will allow . I am a little obsessed and it leaves me little time to blog. It also leaves me wondering about the true prevelance of lesbianism in womens' prisons, but that's not for this blog to hash out.

Today I had some extra time to blog so I put out two, TWO!! posts in one day. If you've come over from Hallie's blog then click on over to my other post about going to adult prom for double the fun.

On to the business end.

1) Obvious - "Orange is the New Black"

I know, I know, I'm late to the game. In fact, the game is over, the janitorial staff has already cleaned up, the parking lot is empty, and the lights are turned out. Everyone else has watched this and told me I need to watch it, but I have just now started it. I love it and if anyone else wants to start watching it now on Netflix so I have someone else to talk to about it I would love that. Please, please, please let me know because everyone else is already over it until next season comes out and I need to go over some details with somebody out there. Next I'll be talking about Game of Thrones about ten months too late.

2) Best lip gloss ever - Clinique superbalm moisturizing gloss in black honey

I wore it to adult prom and it gave my lips a nice sheen with my amateur smoky eye. Overall an okay effect (I think)

3) I have been obsessed with a new breakfast and it couldn't be easier. I will break this complex recipe down for you all. Take banana. Peel banana. Smear top point of banana in peanut butter of choice. Dip peanut buttery end in rice crispies. Bon appetite.

4) The fall colors in MN are starting and I love having an up to date map to consult about where the peaks are in the state.

We're heading up north in a couple weeks and I hope we won't be past peak. My obsessive daily check might be a bit overboard, but what else would I do with my time?

5)

This texturizing spray did not give me waves or any sort of curl, but to have that happen would be on par with a miracle given my naturally straight, limp locks. It did give me a bit of volume and I'll take what I can get.

That's the five. Later ladies (and Jerry).

Adult Prom

2013-09-25T15:55:00.001-05:00

Over the weekend Jerry and I went to a benefit and we got to dress up and pretend like we were going to prom together. Differences being that this time the Holy Spirit didn't need to stay between me and my date and drinking was encouraged. Also, I think my hair is better than it ever was in high school. Oh, and I didn't wear Tevas like I did to my junior prom. I know, what the hell was I thinking?

Here's some fo-toes of the whole fancy affair.

With my pretty cousins. Minus one cousin. She had some excuse about working the event and getting us into it - whatever. Anyway, details on the look because I know eveyone is clamoring to know. I loved my dress. Mostly because it was a super score on the bargain front and I love to brag about a good bargain. I got this baby from Target online at clearance price plus I ordered it on a day when women's clothing and accessories were an extra 20% off. This brought the Kate Young dress down to around $27. Again, I love a steal. I told so many people at the event how much my dress cost I should've really just left the price tag on or painted a big red "$27" on the skirt.

This was my lovely date and I'm sorry that we're in fuzzy focus here, but you get the idea.

A small-ish problem with this dress was that a backless bra was needed. I ignored this fact until the day of the event and so I found myself cursing at Target hours before we were supposed to be there because I couldn't find an appropriate undergarment to keep the girls in check. I brought home some sort of adhesive and cup contraption thing that looked worthless and turned out to be too small anyway. I decided to wing it and go au natural. The girls haven't had a free night out since college and I'm hoping nobody noticed. And, I've nursed four babies since then, so I was sporting a bit of a different rack than I did back in the day when I thought going braless was bouncy and cute. Especially when I was getting my groove on in a big way later in the night.

The hair - I did it myself. The biggest compliment of the night was when I saw my very good friend who also happens to manage my mane at the event and she asked who did my hair. And she didn't even ask in a "Who the hell did that to your hair?" kind of way. She geniuinely thought I did an okay job. Maybe the hair detracted from the floopy boobs. Who knows.

The hair pics were taken at the end of the night, so it held up pretty well. Those are my tired legs which appear to be sprouting from my right shoulder. You should appreciate the effort I put into quality photos for this blog.

The shoes. Also a Target steal. They were part of the Prabal Gurung release and I got them on clearance too. The first time I wore them out I discovered quickly that the ankle strap wouldn't hold and so it would come undone almost instantaneously making it impossible to walk. I decided to DIY it a bit and cut out the strap and added a satin ribbon. I loved the result and they held up to plenty of walking and dancing til the breaka dawn (which in my book was 12:05am). And I painted my toenails!...and then Stan stepped on my feet.

It was a great night and fun to hang out with adults with an open bar. Zero complaints. I think I'll go to prom again next year. I better start trolling Target clearance after the holidays.

Taking the Easy Way Out

2013-09-18T15:47:00.002-05:00

I'm hookin up with Hallie for the Five Favorites and I wanted to show some of my favorite photos from the last few days.

Life has gotten easier around here now that this little man is bathing sitting up. As Grace has mentioned in a

few of her posts and Grams, it is so great once all the kids can sit up in the tub together. We have the added bonus that two of ours have graduated to the shower, so now it's just George and Stan left fighting for toys and tub space.

"One of these things is not like the other..." Hey, where'd that dark-haired kid come from? Here's the boys hanging out with their cousin in the hot tub at my parents' trying to soak up and squeeze out every last smidgen of summer we can get. Pool closing is this weekend, so we've got one more chilly weekend to pretend like it's warm and drink margaritas poolside in sandals. Then it's almost straight to the Uggs we go.

This was our Sunday activity. This was taken when we were technically supposed to be at Mass. We went at our normal time and pulled up for 9:30 Mass at 9:28. Parking was miraculously easy. We rush all the boys in and see darknesss and quiet everywhere. As we're puzzling over what is going on, our priest shows up on the stairs in his vestments and tells us that Mass isn't for another hour due to the parish festival... as he announced last week. BUSTED!! Totally didn't make it last week - sorry Father. Our warped thinking was that God understood we had made an effort and so we went on a short hike along the river and said some prayers in nature. Above is Jerry sheparding the little folk so they didn't get run down by bicyclists. The boys subsequently ruined their church shoes and pants on the muddy trails and I guess that is God winking at me for skipping Mass.

In addition to sitting up in the tub George is on the verge of crawling. He is doing his rock back and forth on all fores and it will not be long before we need the baby gates. See that mischievious grin...I can just see him hatching plans for when he finally gets mobile.

Congratulations to those of you who made it to the end of this post, you get the most entertaining (alarming?) short. This is the scene Jerry was greeted with in our basement last night while I was at book club. Yep, a large unharmed bottle of margarita and a broken beer bottle. From what he could surmise from the snitches (ahem Dave and Frank) who ratted Stan out only once the bottle was broken (why couldn't they have squealed on him when this fiasco was in process? Oh yeah, they wanted to witness the calamity), Stan was throwing the beer bottle at the margarita bottle. Awesome.

Holy Hell, Stan - that is a waste of good alcohol! For Pete's sake, what were you trying to accomplish? Couldn't find a opener in the basement? I've been there, man, trust me. I've been stuck on many a camping trip, random hotel room, or house party gone wrong when I couldn't find anything to open my bottle of liquor. I've smacked the bottom of bottles against trees, shoved a screwdriver into a wine cork, tried the old pop the cap off with a class ring trick (John you're my hero at doing that!) - but throwing one bottle at another. I think that's just asinine. Think it through next time buddy.

In fact, while I was in the hospital following Stan's delivery Jerry brought me scotch ale which I had been craving the entire pregnancy...and no opener. I didn't think the nurses would be particularly amused with my request for a bottle opener so Jerry opened it on the door latch and sprayed my whole room with beer in the process. Then we spilled a bottle of beer trying to hide it when a nurse walked in. We're idiots and my room smelled like a brewery the rest of the stay. Maybe Stan was imprinted with some weird bad bottle opening experience from that after-birth experience.

Jerry had to mop up beer and glass, shame and send off to extended time-out the offending tot, sternly talk to the olders for perhaps egging their younger bro on, and then get the whole motley crew to bed. I am so sorry I missed that fiasco while at book club. Thank you God for book club. Now my basement both looks like and smells like a fraternity after rush.

7 Medium-ish Takes

2013-09-13T06:02:00.000-05:00

Just hooking up with Jen today for some 7 QTs of stuff. They really don't go together, it doesn't really flow or make sense, it just comes out fo my brain this way sometimes. Keep going...

1 - We finally had Dave's first day of school on Monday. Holy cow this seemed like a loooooong time coming. I've been hearing and reading other parents expressing that they can't believe their little muffins are off to school so soon and they can't believe that the time has passed so quickly. I could not disagree more.
Holy heavens it has been one long haul to get a kid finally off to school. Driving the van full o' boys to school I was thinking, "This is great - all this tuition is buying me freedom! Dave to kindergarten and Frank in preschool for a few hours - Freedom!" Ok, not really, I still had Stan and George to contend with, but that was peanuts compared to the full craziness of all four boys.

My heart strings were tugged a bit when Dave leaned over to look at Frank in his car seat and said with more emotion than I'm used to seeing in him, "Frank I'm gonna miss you today. I'll see you tonight." Then Frank simply and soberly says "I'll miss you too Dave." Those two have never been apart for too long and they are thick as thieves. Their impending separation was probably setting in.

I got a little misty too when his class lined up to go inside and as Dave started to move forward he turned back and waved at Jerry and me. Big backpack on (Plants vs Zombies - of course, it has to be zombies), uniform on (it was so hot on Monday the school said the kids could be out of uniform, but D was so excited and proud of his uniform, he wore it anyway. Love it! - I can't wait to bring that up in high school when he's complaining about wearing a uniform), and he was steady as could be. No hesitation from him, but I have to admit, it was crazy to see this confident kid in front of me when I remember the tiny, wrinkled, red, screaming preemie that was whisked away from me to go to the NICU.

2 - Frank entrusted Piggy to me while he was at preschool. Thought I'd better keep him really safe. Last year Piggy was a stow-away in Frank's backpack every Tuesday and Thursday when Frank would go to school. Piggy would legitimately go to school with Frank once a month as Frank's Show and Tell item. Every single month the same thing for Show and Tell. That boy loves his Piggy.

3 - It was so quiet getting back home with only two (TWO!!) boys. I started thinking of all the things I could get done with only two boys to keep out of trouble. Stan pulled me away from my mental list making when he kept asking me to play. Crap, I had totally overlooked that Stan's usual playmates who I regularly pawned Stan off on were now in school. I looked left, I looked right - no one there to entertain Stan, just me.

Reluctantly, switching gears from getting tasks done to playing, I got down on the floor and we started reading. It was great. It was quiet and calm. There was no one running around and screaming about zombie attacks, ninja blades, or pirate bullets. Just Stan on my lap and George rolling around on the floor happily gumming up the Scooby Doo figurines in his path. We read Maisy Goes on Vacation seven times. I loved it. I think I'm gonna get used to this two kids thing for part of the day.

4 - Seeing as this is the most super exciting blog out there I wanted to take a little time to talk about canning. Again. I know, contain your excitment and read on.

^^^The book has a lot of confidence in me. I think it's a bit premature to actually say "I can can", but no food borne illness yet. Fingers crossed!

I finally had grape jelly success the other day. I amped up the sugar content and low and behold the whole mixture magically turned into a hot enough mess to actually solidify. I can now proudly stand by my 7 half pints of hard earned jelly and breathe a sigh of relief that the project is finished and I don't need to figure out what to do with 7 half pints of grape syrup (I was picturing a daily diet of grape sno-cones. Not necessarily a bad thing, but heading into fall it just sounded out of season and goose-bumpy).

I think the jelly tastes super sweet now with the four additional cups of sugar I needed to add. Like coat your tongue and tooth-achingly sweet. But the boys don't seem to mind.

5 - A conversation I overheard between Dave and Frank while Stella was digging in my yard. I think it has something to do with Plants vs Zombies, but I really don't know for sure.

Frank: I hope Stella doesn't dig up any zombies. I'm scared of those zombies that live in the ground and dig to China.

Dave: Fwaaank, you don't need to worry 'bout zombies. They're not real.

Frank:... ... ... ...

Dave: but I think China is real and that's scary.

6 - George took his innagural stroll in the stroller out of his infant seat. That kid was so happy watching his brothers and looking at the world around him.

^^^Stan insisting that Dave and Frank hold his hands while we walk. They complied after numerous threats that all desserts, snacks, movies, and fun would be taken away if they didn't hold his hands. Dave was complaining that his hand would smell like Stan now. So, it will smell like syrup? Because that's the only discernable smell I got off of Stan yesterday. Gotta love brothers.

7 - George made his debut at the dinner table this week. He's graduated from the floor to his high chair and he's adoring the upgrade. He can watch his brothers crush my cooking ego by never eating a dang thing that comes out of my kitchen, occupy himself by bringing puffs to his mouth and missing every time, and feed Stella all at once. He is now a much busier baby during dinner time.

That's it for the week. These weren't really quick takes at all. They were rather longish. Maybe 13% of you actually made it to the end of this post. Congratulations and I curtsy to all of you.

Five Favorites - on repeat

2013-09-11T16:00:00.002-05:00

Thanks to Grace for hosting today over at the Camp! I'm linking up with her to make it a par-tay...
Let's do this.

At work today there is a cube near mine that has the radio set to 80's hits. I'm feelin' the music so I'm dedicating this one to some of my faves of the 1980s (sorry to you young millenials who will have no idea what I'm talking about. Consider it your pop culture history lesson for the day).

1) Since I'm thinking music I'm just gonna put it out there that the first cassette tape I owned was Whitney
Houston's Wanna Dance With Somebody. I still love that song. I refuse to be ashamed.

This picture is the album cover from Spotify and you can listen to the greatness of this song there

2) Now onto fashion. I was a devoted follower of all things Laura Ashley. I had the dresses, the hair bows, the marmy shawls, the Bramble sheets with comforter and matching wallpaper border, and the Emma perfume. I wanted to exude that brand. Here is a visual sample to delight your eyes with what was so awesome about Laura Ashley.

This totally wasn't my room growing up, but I totally wished it was. Right down to the fabric covered everything. I would've wanted the lampshade to be Bramble print though too. Why did they stop at the lamp shade? They thought one different fabric was a nice pop of dusty blue color? You can find where to buy the look here.

So this combo romper/jumper/dress was one of my favorites. Not only did I have the ones that the store sold, but my Mom found a seamstress who made a few for me so I could pick out the most elaboartely floral pattern I could find and have it be my very own to wear the hell out of.

3) Hair. The Spiral Perm. I rocked it hard. How do you give a limp haired girl huge frizzy volume that is out of control and defined sweet 80s hair? Wrap it around rods and dump a bucket load of chemicals on it and wait for an hour or two while the perm "takes" and your scalp gets the top two layers of skin burned off of it. Then go home with a sweet florescent yellow and pink hair pick to gently untangle the masses of knots you get everyday because your hair is now a burned mushy lump. In my head, though, I looked like Nicole Kidman in Days of Thunder.

via

4) TV. I loved watching hours and hours of TV as a kid. One of my favorite shows (and everyone else's) was The Cosby Show. The original Thursday night must see TV.

via

I loved Dr. Huxtable and basically would've traded my entire Bramble Laura Ashley room to live with them (sorry Mom - close your eyes!). They were just so awesome and I thought Denise would be the coolest older sister (where's Sandra in this picture?).

5) Heart Throb. He's from Top Gun and he's the Other Guy. I never lusted after Tom Cruise with my innocent 10 year-old heart, nope my heart beat only for Goose. Forget Maverick, no woman was ever going to tame that guy. I wanted Goose. He was already married, so I knew he could commit and his on-screen wife and I share the name Meg, so I thought it would be a seamless transition for him to marry me.

via

Maybe this is where I get my thing for aviators...and mustaches. Jerry I sense a Halloween costume comin' on! Better start growing that thing out now Sweetie.

That's it! Later coolios.

This Body I Live In - Guest Post!

2013-09-10T20:19:00.001-05:00

Against their better judgement, the ladies over at Fine Linen and Purple allowed me to guest post on their blog today. Hop on over there and enjoy!

-M

Five Favorites - another...

2013-09-05T09:06:00.000-05:00

I'm linking up with Hallie at Moxie Wife today (late!!) to discuss my Five Favorites of the moment...

1) I've got a thing for wedges these days as I mentioned in another post. I can't wait to start wearing closed toe shoes that cover up my serious lack of toe care this summer (I've been going au natural - sounds prettier au Francais, oiu?

Really it just means I haven't gotten any pedicures and every time I think about quickly polishing up my piggies, I'm just about to climb into my sheets and OPI smeared all over sheets is never good. So sleep wins and toenails lose).
Anyhoo, so here's the pair that I just bought from Blowfish

Oooooh la la you say? (I'll stop that now, I have no idea how to speak French. I apologize to all the Francophiles out there and any readers that have actually read down this far.) I really love these shoes and can't wait to find them sitting on my porch in the next 7-10 days.

2) This website from the University of Minnesota extension services on canning. This website is crazy full of information if you ever have any inclination to try canning. This website may be the key that keeps me from poisoning my family with botulism and they help out when there are mistakes, shall we say.

3) These Birthday Party Premium Ice Cream Sandwiches are soooo good. I believe they were made with 2-7 year olds in mind, but I happen to love them somthing good.

The perfect vanilla and cake batter combo with fun sparkles - and now 30% bigger. I didn't really know that, but it says it on the box right there and I'm not about to argue with 30% bigger.

4) This alarm clock which we've been using in the boys' room for a while now. Since none of them no how to tell time it is the key to keeping them in their room until a decent hour. The clock glows green when it's ok for them to run screaming out of the room announcing that the light is green. If they come out before then they fully understand that they will encounter sleeping and grumpy parents. It's supposed to teach them time too - we've not had luck with that.

It also serves as a night light and we've used that function to have two times that the light will signal when it's ok to get up. Dave does not need sleep. He is one of those weird kids who just stays up late, wakes early, and usually isn't too crabby for lack of sleep. I could not survive on his sleep schedule. Anyway, the light turns yellow for him and the light turns green for Frank and Stan now. I would like to turn one of our closets into a sound proof hiding place where I can sleep now.

5) This NARS lipstick, Fast Ride. It's my fall classic - a sheer mulberry as they describe it. I love it for work, days with the kids, evening, sleeping, it does it all. I really don't wear it to sleep, but I think it would fancy me up for that 3am date I still (unfortunately) have with George every night.

I love this lipstick I typically go through two tubes of it each year. That never happens to me because I usually lose the tube before I actually use it up. With Fast Ride, thoough, I am always scraping the remnants out with my fingernail looking for more.

TTFN - M

canning fail

2013-09-04T13:17:00.001-05:00

What the? Where the? How is it after Labor Day now? I know I shouldn't be surprised, but holy cow this summer seemed to breeze by. We tried to fit in a ton last week and while the boys don't start school until Monday, it's really hitting me that we are in the colder end of summer for sure.

I tried to conitnue my canning glory and instead got an epic fail.
And, by glory I mean that I dabble in it. I'm a total novice and have no idea what I'm doing (clearly it's showing in the end result now). I've read a lot of books, blogs, University of Minnesota extension websites to try and ensure that I will not poison my family with botulism. But, really, who knows? Can't really be sure until you eat the stuff right? Maybe that's why I like it. It's serious risk taking in the kitchen with death as the possible outcome. Seems pretty bad ass. Aaaaaaand I digress.

Back on task, I tried to make and can some grape jelly today. I had previously done all the boring work of stemming, peeling, seeding, straining, and simmering those pesky tiny grapes. I just had to simmer it with some sugar and get that magic liquid into jars. I got my juice simmering and tasted it and thought "hmmm, this is pretty sweet, I don't think I'll add much sugar" so I added 1c of sugar to 12c of grape juice instead of the 5c it called for. Not my most genius move. Apparently I need all that extra sugar to make the magic liquid gel into a jelly. So, I have several half pint jars of grape syrup canned up. Yum (that is to be read with lots of dripping sarcasm. Like as dripping as my eight half pint jars of drippy grape syrup). I have now been googling "ack - my grape jelly won't set". I shall prevail...later.

Here's what the rest of family did while I was slaving in the kitchen over boiling cauldrons of boiling grape syrup.

On a positive pickling note, we're still waiting for the dill pickles to sit until 9/24 before we dive in. Frank is still asking daily when they'll be ready. Why are they so interested and concerned about time when their concept of it is so minimal? Drives me nuts.

I'd still like to can some pickled carrots and green beans. I'm thinking maybe some picled spicy cauliflower?

What are some of your favorites things to can? Any recipes or tips to share with a novice?

Minnesota 7 QTs

2013-08-30T20:57:00.000-05:00

So I was inspired to write my 7 QT's with Jen's link up on why MN is an awesome state because Heather over at Mama Knows, Honeychild felt compelled to take us off her "to visit" list because of the man eating wolves we have roaming around. What the what?? I'd say we have a lot to outweigh any dangerous carnivores you may encounter.

1) We are super nice. It's even a term - Minnesota Nice - and we take it seriously. I'm totally tootin' our state's proverbial horn but people around here are just downright go out of their way to help out kind of people. Need directions? - check. Need to know the best restaurants? - lots of people will chime in. Want to join a dodge ball team? - seven people will offer theirs up in a flash. Mean people need not apply for residency.

2) The Minnesota State Fair. I've been blogging about it this week and it's completely awesome and the best state fair out there.* Where else can you find a llama costume contest, a daily parade, high school rodeo, a zagillion calories worth of delicioso food, seed art, 4H projects that will blow your mind, and the biggest pumpkin in the state all in one vicinity? It is the holy grail of the best time wasters ever.

*disclaimer - I've never been to another state fair, but ours is so crazy cool I can't imagine another even coming close to it

3) We have tons of lakes - in fact about 10,000 of them. We have more shoreline than Florida, California, and Hawaii combined and we utilize our lakes to their fullest. Canoes, kayaks, water skiing, fishing, wind surfing, paddle boarding, pontooning - we do it all.

4) We go through looooong winters here and I have never encountered people who embrace summer with such passion and verve because we all feel like frost is lurking right around the corner. Minnesotans realize that you have to soak up every minute of heat in order to survive February. If you visit us when we don't have snow you will see everyone outside as much as humanly possible.

5) If you visit us in the winter you will probably find that most Minnesotans believe that the long winter is better passed by embracing the opportunity to play outside in sub-zero temperatures. We've got hockey, figure skating, cross country skiing, downhill skiing (icy conditions at their finest), broomball, sledding, snowshoeing, winter camping, and a Winter Carnival complete with two parades (one by torchlight) and a weird rivalry between the Vulcans (who herald the beginning of permafrost melt) and the winter royalty (who bask in their frosty glory to the often bitter end). Oh, and we have an amusment park inside the Mall of America so if you're sick of being outside just go there and pretend it's summer for a bit.

6) Our farmers markets are amazing. We're so close to our farms that it takes no time at all to get fresh produce into the Twin Cities area. Our downtown Saint Paul market boasts only local produce within a 50 mile radius to satisfy locavores as well. We have many local Hmong farmers that have expanded the traditional Minnesota table to include yummy veggies like bitter melon, thai eggplant, thai peppers, bok choy, and hmong greens.

7) We're the birthplace of Target - the best most dangerous place in the world to drop $50...or sometimes $100....and unfortunately sometimes more. Man that place is a money suck.

BONUS #8 just for Heather.......
WE HAVE NO SHARKS! I too have a major phobia of sharks (when my imagination runs wild I can convince myself there are sharks in pools - crazy) and I am pleased to tell you that while there are sharks at the MN Zoo and the Mall of America Aquarium I think that's about it for those swimming, man-eating machines. No need to worry about shark attacks or swim next to shark bait while in our lakes and rivers - hooray!!

Heather, I hope this list convinces you to take a second look at Minnesota before permanently taking us off your list and doing something I'm sure you'd regret for the rest of your life (wink).