My Diary

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 05 Nov 2023 07:59:00 +0000

Yesterday, I went to an exhibition by Daachi foundation at Expo Centre Karachi. Pardon, I had no idea about the existence of this non-profit organization but thanks to my friends who are what's-going-on-in-Karachi types. It was a great place and I ran into my long lost college friend. It turned out that her sister also had a stall of hand embroidery clothes. By the way, I learned about this embroidery Taarkashi - the intricate embroidery done by pulling threads of the fabric and then forming designs using very fine needle. I bought this shirt a well that captured my heart.

It's strange that my past two years in Pakistan have been quite transformational. Strangely, I had thought that Pakistan would be the last place where my personal growth would take place. The changes in my life are so rapid like a fast paced movie with frame changing at every second. I have to reframe my concepts sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously with every experience. The moment I thought it is what it is, the universe will throw another perspective. Can't help recalling Dr. Seuss, Oh, the places you go and the people you meet.

Thoughts:

It's not just the universe that is expanding only, it's we as well.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Fri, 06 Oct 2023 17:40:00 +0000

Autumn comes, dropping slow:
from the falling of leaves on trees,
to the passing of hopes in hearts.

Autumn has, somehow, melancholy vibes.... making you slow and mellow. It is strange that the major transitions of my career happen during my heartbreaks: they say misery never comes alone.

My monthlies bring a wave of sadness along with cravings for a lot of things. Heartbreaks are never easy!

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 01 Oct 2023 10:14:00 +0000

Goals:

To run 3 kilometers in a marathon
Start podcasting

Action plan:

Go for running tomorrow. Heck xuni what's wrong with you!
Work on the first episode for your podcast

Do people still use blogger? Asks in Fermi's paradox.

I feel crestfallen. I thought going back to student life would be easy. I didn't gauge the environment. Apparently this slight error in judgement became the source of misery.

It's funny when you read your old posts written a decade (or more) ago and they don't seem part of you anymore. Stories that don't begin with once upon a time, in a land far far away, instead they begin with a thousand light years ago, in another dimension there was this girl...

I will try to be regular here.

Homework:

Journal everyday

Things to do

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 25 Jul 2021 16:56:00 +0000

Get over him!

On Yesterday's Meeting

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Thu, 01 Apr 2021 07:49:00 +0000

Once upon a time, there was a girl who fell in love with a boy. He was not her knight in shining armor but a soldier who had struggled and bore scars.

He told her all - of the battles, won and lost. And she found them more mesmerizing than all the epics she had read.

- From The Life and Times of a Stellar Girl

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 28 Feb 2021 01:30:00 +0000

He thinks love is a transaction.

She believes love is non-Euclidean.

Will there be a point where their thoughts converge?

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 21:30:00 +0000

He kissed me under the stars!

On the Eve of Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 14 Feb 2021 08:31:00 +0000

He spoke with such conviction, with such utter seriousness, that in that moment I actually felt the universe had stood still. Time and space had dissolved into oblivion.

Not a smile on his chiseled face nor a twinkle in his eye, that could make me doubt him for a second.

If this was his pick up line, I wonder what his paragraphs are like

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Fri, 27 Mar 2020 00:51:00 +0000

I think I should start playing FarmVille again.

Quarantine Day 22

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Mon, 23 Mar 2020 11:35:00 +0000

Today was the day 17 of lock-down and first day of curfew. It's about to be over now. All I did was lazing around because I am already a week ahead in two of my courses. So interacted a lot through social media jumping from one medium to another. One should marvel how seamlessly our fingers are moving between changing mediums these days.

After, motivating my friends and relatives to enroll in free online classes I have moved towards my former students so that they can make better use of their time and space. This got me thinking if the lock-downs are a privilege, a necessity or both.

Managing ADHD, Autism, Learning Disabilities, and Concussion in School

Finished reading till symptoms of ADHD week 1.

Poetry in America: Modernism

Half- way through week 1, I was prompted by my long lost interest in Einstein's space-time theory. So had a quick recap about it.

Note to self:

Remember to do jumping jacks at regular intervals during studies.
53 kg is not worth worrying a whole lot about.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 17 Sep 2017 02:45:00 +0000

You are my night sky,
full of gazillion shiny stars
that reflect
my dreams and fears.
I can spend the whole night
lying awake-
gazing at you

You are silent and luminous;
and plain-
without hues.
Who needs sunshine
When all I have is
peace and tranquility
when I am around you.

-Zunairah

Like a Phoenix!

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sat, 16 Sep 2017 07:43:00 +0000

It's funny when at job interviews after checking my resume, interviewers ask my age as if confirming.

Person: What is your age?

Me: *tells him/her*

Person: *jaw drops* You look so young!

Me: Yes, I burn myself after every five years for re-incarnation! (in my head). *says nothing*. :D

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 05 Sep 2017 23:03:00 +0000

This is something I wrote last month but one thing or another kept me from posting here.

Here you go :)

Mother Nature carried me in her arms

another one-

of her traumatized child

healing invisible physical scars,

mending broken sense of self

with soothing lullabies

and numerous rattling toys.

With the extraordinary love

this wide universe sent

I assemble myself

once again

to walk upon this path;

carrying a head full of perspective

and an uncertain heart.

But that's how it goes -

we cry, we break, and we shatter

thousand times

and He lifts, fixes and mends us

everytime.

Now at this crossroad

I have realized

the amazing ways

His forces function;

and why

His best creation

is always under construction!

-Zunairah

5/8/17

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sat, 27 May 2017 00:39:00 +0000

The art of living
is simply giving

feeding a hungry
covering an unclothed
teaching what you learned
hence passing it forth

no tangible substance
neither gem nor treasure
can promise one
an ethereal pleasure

a walk into woods and a child's laughter
and all the mornings hereafter.

-Zunairah

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 23 May 2017 03:19:00 +0000

It's funny when you go through your old posts and realize that how different you were back then. You question whether it was you who actually wrote them. No, it must be one of my alters! The experience was overwhelming as someone who has time traveled into his/her past. Some memoirs are direct and daily rants while some are more subtle description of my experiences. Most interesting thing is my wish list which I made almost a decade ago. Let's analyze:

Wish list

- Travel out of the country alone (I did once go to Karachi from Kuwait alone but yep, I want to travel alone)
- ~~Get a laptop~~

- Learn how to play guitar (Okay, I did start but not interested anymore)

- Rock climbing/ Cliff diving

- Social work (I do very occasionally but it has to be more often)

- Write more poetry (Oh, yes!)

- Learn to really dance (Not interested anymore)

- Blog regularly (Yep!)

- Watch live football match at stadium (hmm... not interested much)

- ~~Learn to sketch and paint~~

- ~~Be more assertive~~

- Get my own car (I would rather have a bicycle now)

And I want to add:

- Learn new skills
- Learn a new programing language
- Write a poetry book

Some of the skills I have learned so far:

- Sewing
- Hand embroidery

- Baking

- Fondant cake decoration

I have to craft my blog readership as well.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sun, 21 May 2017 00:29:00 +0000

He is charming yet savage!

Watch out little red riding hood!

His routine

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Fri, 19 May 2017 03:25:00 +0000

Come.... eat.... sleep ... go... (x Repeat)

Marital bliss is a myth!

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Wed, 17 May 2017 11:41:00 +0000

So, it turned out that I had to spend whole day alone due to some unfortunate incident that required my husband's time and presence. It's past 4 am and he isn't back yet. The day went fine but night seemed long because of the silence around. Except for rattle of occasional passing cars it is sickly quiet.

I hope morning brings some good news and my husband otherwise I don't know how I am going to spend another day alone. This is the thing I resent about marriage. One can't enjoy without being thinking of and longing for the other.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 16 May 2017 06:39:00 +0000

Love is when two people keep walking together like parallel lines of a rail track believing that somehow, somewhere, on some plane they will meet.

Yes, love is non-Euclidean.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Mon, 15 May 2017 19:27:00 +0000

I am trying to write again after years of silence.

I wonder if somebody still remembers that this place exists. The friends I made thru blogging and my anonymous, quiet followers. Let me hear from you if you are still there.

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 21:23:00 +0000

It's just that I am quite unhappy today. May be it is because sister-in-law is back from Pakistan. Extra and unnecessary interference!

Everybody acts as if their worlds revolve around her. What she eats, what she does becomes a headline. Her words of wisdom should be taken seriously and acted upon. Her kids are the only kids in the world that need love and attention. I am not jealous or something and I really love the kids because they are cute but at times I get this painful realization that I am childless even after 3 years of marriage.

Even when my husband or in-laws, don't say directly, they imply thru their actions that I can't have life of my own unless I bear an off-spring. Specially my husband's indifference to me gives my heart sharp pangs.

The perfect way to spend Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 00:03:00 +0000

With coffee mug and your favorite book and loads of sunshine :)

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Sat, 30 Jun 2012 21:05:00 +0000

So, mother-in-law is back to her old grudgingly fighting habits now after 15 days of her arrival from Pakistan. As usual the root cause is my sister-in-law L. It all started because L's husband didn't wear dark colored shirt for travelling. Mother in law has been nagging her husband for this since yesterday. She blames him for not telling that forty-year-old (who still needs to be told), what to wear. My father-in-law claims that he had but that their son-in-law had told him that he was comfortable with what he was wearing.

Today it started with L's call from Pakistan about her husband's dressing. I mean seriously, when will my sister-in-law learn to solve these trivial marital matters on her own? When would she stop disturbing our family environment? If her kids get sick, MIL raises hell. Our house has become a constant battleground just because of her. Alhamdulillah she hasa house, a doting husband and lovely healthy kids. Also, she lives nearby and visits her mom every other day. No troubling in-laws around. Just one sister-in-law whom both husband and wife hardly pay a visit. Still, she is not happy and her endless

It's been 3 years for me living here like that, will these things ever change?

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 22:11:00 +0000

On this Valentine's Day, read this amazingly sad love-story of Mr. and Mrs. Jinnah.

Too Lively a Wife She Was For Jinnah!

http://www.jinnah.pk/2012/02/14/too-lively-a-wife-she-was-for-jinnah/

"In his baggage, was a love letter by Ruttie:

“Try and remember me, beloved, as the flower you plucked and not the flower you tread upon.”

It’s in a photo-frame at Jinnah’s Mausoleum."

noreply@blogger.com (xunz) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 21:45:00 +0000

Yesterday, me n zee went to watch this movie Ek Main aur Ek Tu, a light-heart comedy cheered both of us especially after Saturday volcanic eruption at home.

The ugly words still hang in the air, echoes of which disturb my mind. But, I go on pretending not to care. As I am leaving for Karachi in a week, so I have something to look forward to. Couple of weeks away from this madness would be a bliss.

I see that I am blogging after quite a long time, because its difficult to gather my head and heart at one place. They both keep wandering in different directions.

Things to do:

Finish remaining shopping
Pack gifts
Start packing mine and zee's stuff.

Anyway, it's Valentine's Day today.... let's sing songs of Cupid and Psyche.