Blueprints - The story of a Left Behind Parent

Help me understand

2015-05-29T14:12:00.001-07:00

Help me understand why I still am not in Emily's life...?
I am still trying to understand the thinking behind parental abduction, when the taking parent knows the truth about the other parent, but still depends on fabricating lies to undermine the other parent. My daughter and I have been without seeing each other for a very long time, she also has two brothers (my boys from a previous marriage) and an older sister (her daughter from a previous marriage) that miss her dearly too.

She has been gone since Feb. 2, 2009... her mother has no plans of returning with her to the United States, and has gone to lengths to change her last name, as well as claim that Henner Antonio Chavarria is her father. She made claims against me that have never been proven, no evidence, and not one person has come forward to validate one of her claims is true.

Why do some people still believe her story? I don't understand the logic that a person can trust another person that has never been able to prove anything. I can have several people attest to the exact opposite of everything she has claimed against me, but still my daughter is being kept from me with no real good evidence or sensible reason.

It started when we met and I thought she was the "one" for me. It moved fast and next thing you know here I am, being known as a victim of International Parental Abduction, and my daughter is the focal point. How did it get to this? I never knew I would have a life of questions, and mistrust, but since this has happened I haven't been able to trust anyone.

It would be really nice to just get some closure and have my daughter back in the life of our family here in the United States. My daughter gets to live a life of lies, simply because of her mothers personal agenda of keeping me erased from her life. The odd thing is, I treated her like a queen, and through her accusations has projected upon me the things she experienced early in life (as she admitted to me about the abuse). It's unfortunate that our children have now become the true victims of her criminal acts, by keeping Emily at bay from knowing her entire family, loving father & brothers, and guidance of her older sister.

What is child abuse? It comes in many forms... My daughter Emily Alina Koyama is silently being abused every day she isn't afforded the opportunity to know her whole family, and the love & support of her father.

If you are reading this and live in Costa Rica, please do me a favor and tell my daughter I love her... give her my picture, let her see what her brothers look like, and tell her I am still fighting to see her.

Thank you for taking the time to read my nonsense...

Roy Koyama
LBP of Emily Alina Koyama

***see my full story here***

http://www.bringseanhome.org/forums/index.php?board=52.0

Awesome video

Proof they changed her name

Coming up on 6 years

2015-01-12T17:27:00.001-08:00

Well... we are approaching our 6 year anniversary of Trina getting away with kidnapping Emily to Costa Rica. She still has active warrants for her arrest, but according to sources, she has been granted asylum in Costa Rica and apparently has no plans of ever returning to the US.

It has been a rough road, and nothing seems to be changing in Costa Rica when it comes to enforcing the Hague.

If anyone would like to help track Trina down, I would appreciate it. My goal is to get Emily things about her father and brothers, as she has the right to know us.

I am looking for help to do this in the correct manner as to not traumatize anyone involved. All I have ever wanted is to be in my daughters life.

Contact me at: lttlmtn@gmail.com

Thank you.

Best regards,

Roy Koyama

Trina...

2014-07-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Trina,
I have noticed you took down (or hid) the FB page you had for our daughter. That's a good thing since all it had on it were lies about how everything really happened.

I really want you to know I forgive you. I just want what you have, which is the opportunity to give our daughter my unconditional love.

I really feel you are just being selfish by keeping her away from knowing her brothers, and her "real" father that loves her more than life.

Please reach out to me via email, or whatever means that makes you comfortable so we can work this out. Emily is 6 years old now; me and her brothers haven't had the chance to celebrate one birthday with her, or even see her for the past 5 years.

Think about the kids... you have nothing to fear, as you are in another country, you have a husband to protect you from harm, and everyone knows all about me, the lies are so invalid these days it would be best for you to come forward and communicate with me. All this would only benefit the children, as well as yourself.

I will get all charges dropped so you can come back to the US and allow all the kids to be a family. You will also be able to bring your new daughter to the states so your family can meet her too.

Both of our families are continually being deprived of their human rights by you keeping Emily in Costa Rica. It's time you realize that you talk about following God, but do you really think he is smiling down upon you for doing the exact opposite of what he would command of you?

Yes, I have forgiven you, as I know in the end you will be judged by a much higher power. So at this point I pray for your soul. I hope you can change your ways and focus on the real prize, which is the happiness of "all" the children, not you or me.

Please consider my plea...

We all miss and love Emily. My goal is simply to just be her daddy, show her love, and provide a future for her. We can work together on this.

Thank you,

Roy

5 Years and nothing...

2014-02-13T18:51:00.001-08:00

So I have made it 5 years since my daughter was taken from where she "really" belongs... I mustered through Feb. 2, didn't focus on the negative but on the children I do have in my life, so I remained grateful. I have learned by living in gratitude I feel less pain.

Trina Atwell-Chavarria (wife to Henner Antonio Romero Chavarria) & her family planned the kidnapping 5 months in advance, all the while Trina was telling me, my boys, and her oldest daughter that we were going to get married the coming Summer (as soon as she enforced divorce papers on her estranged husband in Costa Rica). I wonder what kind of sick mind actually plans things out like this and intentionally misleads her own child to believe her lies, just so she can be self-serving in her actions.

You see, Trina at one time admitted to me that if she could've kidnapped her oldest daughter to Costa Rica, she would've done it (yeah, I missed that red flag). I guess she had to figure out a way to fool me, and told me that we were going to a "surprise" family reunion her sister had arranged, but the only thing I didn't know what the surprise was on me, and she was reuniting with her family in Costa Rica without me...

So here we are five years later and she is still claiming the worst on me, but I understand this because if she flounders at all on her "story of abuse" she might as well turn herself into the authorities, as all her supporters would turn their backs on helping to shield her from any legal consequences any more. So now, she has had another daughter, which makes three... all from different men, and she is "still" a fugitive on the run (she'll say different of course, that she is in Costa Rica to "protect" Emily from me).

I have included a link of her incredible Facebook page where she shares her horrific story of the abuse I put her through - https://www.facebook.com/ProtectingEmily

I have never had to defend myself from the accusations she has made against me 1. Because she never had a stitch of evidence to substantiate her claims 2. Nobody on the planet will confirm I was ever the type of person she describes 3. Just through my daily "actions" I disprove her on a regular basis, now and before she committed the crime of "Child Abduction." 4. She has proven in the past 5 years that nothing she says is true, or I would have otherwise lost any & all support I continue to gain in the fight against the crime she committed.

One day the "real" truth will surface, and I will still be standing in the same place, and she might be sadly standing behind cold iron bars... The legal system doesn't "forget" that you acted in a felonious manner and remove penalties, in fact it's the opposite... the longer you run the worse it gets.

In all this time I have never lashed out at her, ridiculed her, but really just tell it how it is... if I did anything but that, I would be immediately attacked by her fellow child abductors, hung out to dry, and made a mockery of publicly for slipping up... trust me, they tried to dig REAL DEEP to find dirt on me, and guess what... clean as a whistle, because if they had found ANYTHING on me, they would have exploited it to the fullest.

I think my next BLOG might just expose the people that helped her plan the kidnapping from start to finish, just so you might better be aware of who you might be doing business with, and re-think who you want to be in your life... They will say they only have the best interests of the children in mind, but the truth is all they care about is the person in the mirror. Period.

Ranting and raving... oh yeah, and still feeling the pain of not being in my daughter's life.

Yours truly,

Roy Koyama

On the run forever, or would you like to come home...?

2014-01-18T18:55:00.005-08:00

Trina,

I will do whatever it takes to get all warrants dropped on you, but it's gonna take substantial movement on your end. What I mean is, first letting the boys talk/skype with Emily, then getting me back in her life so she knows her "real" father. If/when you do this on a regular basis, I will show the authorities that you are finally working with me.

Click here:
Interpol Wanted List

Click here:
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children

Click here:
Felony Warrant in Missouri - Case# 0931-CR00898 TRINA ATWELL-CHAVARRIA

As you may or may not know, you are still wanted here in Missouri, where your warrant has gone past 120 days (over 4 years actually) and it is punishable by 60 years in prison. They will look at how you have erased me from Emily's life, taking away her rights as well as mine.

You have violated both of our human rights to know each other as father & daughter. All I want is what is best for "our" daughter, which is giving her me and her brothers unconditional love.

Do you really want your new daughter to have to grow up in this type of shadow you cast internationally? I hope you don't...

Reach out to me... I will never give up, and my next step is going to be a big one, and you know I can accomplish what most can't, as I proved when I represented myself in the Hague Trail and won.

Take the right step this year and give all three of your daughters a good life, not just the one you think is best for you. The great thing too, is that you will be able to return to the U.S. and see your oldest, as well as your entire family.

What do you think??? My email hasn't changed...

Happy New Year!

2014-01-01T12:38:00.002-08:00

May this be a wonderful new year for all left behind parents and the like... Our children deserve the best of having both parents in their lives, and we can only pray that the taking parent will wake up one day and realize just how much they have taken from the child they claim to love and want to protect.

Last year was one of accomplishments for me... I represented myself Pro Se in the local circuit courts to modify a current custody order pertaining to my two boys (older brothers of Emily from a different mother), and I have gained more parental rights. Their mother and I came to an agreement in order to keep the matter from affecting our children more than it had to. So now I have more rights "on paper" to insure I get more quality time with my boys.

What I hope and pray for every day is to gain the same rights to Emily... Here is a question to lead into the new year for Trina. If I was able to gain more parental rights to the boys, then how can you still stand by your claims you have made against me? Don't you think if I was close to being the monster you make me out to be, that I would be denied in every aspect to gain even more parental rights to innocent children, or will your default answer be... "he just knows how to work the court systems."

I know you just had another baby girl... congrats for bringing another life into the world under your care. I pray she has more of a chance to stay innocent than that of "our" daughter. Emily's life will never be normal because of what you have done, and continue to do. Yes the truth is that you still have felony warrants for your arrest, and wanted by Interpol too. The sad thing is you at one time wanted to work things out in order to get the criminal charges dropped because you thought Emily was going to be sent home (yes, home to the United States), but once you accomplished having a secret trial to have the order overruled, you simply turned your back on me completely never allowing me and the boys to know her in any capacity.

I take some responsibility in all of this because I "chose" to be with you, wanted to start a family, and thought we would be together forever no matter what. Funny thing is I never knew about your second identity until it was too late.

I call what is going on a sick form of child abuse, but in your circles it's called "protecting" her from harm... One more question: If I am this harmful person, then why do the boys love me so much, how did I become a trusted Den Leader for Cub Scouts, why does the school system allow me to be a volunteer, how did I pass the extensive background check to become a coach for the local school systems, and lastly, why do you not have one shred of proof to substantiate your claims? We all know the answer, it's because you made it all up to cover your tracks. Period.

It's been over 4 years now and Emily deserves to know us... This year I will be coming to see her one way or another through legal means, since you will go to your default accusations. Please consider taking the step in the right direction towards me, since now that you are building another family, you can't go into hiding anymore... Keep in mind that every day Left Behind Parents are becoming more well known, our stories are making news, and laws are being created.

I hope this is a new year that can be celebrated by all.

This post might feel like I am attacking your character, but let's be honest... all I am doing is telling the truth, no more, no less.

Prove to the world that you are the mother you claim to be, and let our daughter have a full life and not make her wait until she is 18 years old to leave you and never look back as other kidnapping victims have told me that is what they did to the taking parent. You will put her in a situation where she will have to chose to leave her little sister just to see what you took her away from, and that will not be fair to our little angel.

Think of all the kids... maybe you can change. I pray you do.

Merry Christmas Emily

2013-12-25T18:16:00.001-08:00

Emily,
I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. Me & your brothers were blessed to share your first Christmas with you when you were just a little baby, and now it has been 4 years later and we haven't got the chance to even hear your voice or see your face. I just want you to know you are "always" on our minds, and deep in our hearts.
I often look up to the stars and focus on one hoping that maybe you might be looking at the same star which would connect us in some way just for that moment. You are a very special person in this world, and will some day realize just how much you are loved by our family here. We love you unconditionally, no matter what.
All I want for you is to be safe and happy. Unfortunately I am not allowed to know the simplest things about your life. Your mother has decided to treat you as a possession and make up stories about me to justify her actions. I can tell you that I do not hate your mother, but I am extremely disappointed about her life choices for you and herself. Someday you will learn about all the opportunities you lost because of the choices she has made for you, but understand that you will still have a full life ahead of you.
Your brothers and I will be waiting with open arms for you. I wish I could post pictures of your brothers for you to see, but I will not put them in the spotlight as your mother has done with your life for all the world to see. One day you will have an incredible story to tell others, and you can have us by your side to give you the "real" support you need to become a strong woman. The example you have now is a confused person with misconceptions of reality.
Emily, I didn't post this to bash your mother, as I will always have a certain level of love for her because she gave me you. I have the daily struggle dealing with the pain of not being a part of your life even in the smallest ways, so sometimes I vent about how this makes me feel. In our home we never use the word hate or can't simply because we know those words limit our hopes and dreams by using them.

I will NEVER give up on you. Your daddy loves you always & forever...

Love,

Dad

Who knew...

2013-08-18T20:56:00.001-07:00

So I have confirmed that Trina is now pregnant with another child. This will be number three, and another girl. I wonder how this daughter will be raised? Will Trina decide to try and "take" this child from her father, as she wanted to do with her first daughter, and has successfully done with me???

It makes me sad for all the children involved with her in their lives. First her oldest daughter has a mother that has abandoned her before, but as we know children are the most forgiving people. The second daughter, which happens to be my baby girl Emily, gets to grow up as an abducted child known all around the world because of her mother's escapades running from the law in the USA for felonious kidnapping. The unborn daughter already has challenges before coming into the world because of the life her mother has created for her older sisters.

These children deserve the best, and unfortunately their mother will always be out for herself in the end... I can only pray that one day Trina will have compassion towards Emily and allow her to finally get to know her brothers, which I am not even sure if she knows she has anymore. I wonder if Trina has changed Emily's last name to disguise her in Costa Rica as though she actually belongs in the country and not here in the USA with the family that "really" has her best interest in mind?

All the questions I have will eventually be answered, but at whose expense? I can assure you it will never be at Trina's expense.

I plan on naming all the players involved with the kidnapping soon, as it appears they feel untouchable and have triumphed over the law. At the least, I can give them a little more fame by showing their faces, and expose them for who they all are... Child abusers, kidnappers, conspirators, and criminals for allowing a child to be isolated from her family.

Emily... I am sorry this has happened to you. It was, and never will be your fault. Everything your mother has said about me has been made up, because if it were true, she would've never had to leave the country. She just decided to plan out a crime, execute it, and take you prisoner without your consent.

I will love you forever and until the day I die Emily. You will always be my little blue eyed angel.

My baby girl turns 5 years old today...

2013-07-05T18:02:00.004-07:00

Happy Birthday Emily! The only birthday I got to spend with you was when you were born... I was the first to hold you. I love you so much!!! Your brothers and I miss you with all of our hearts...

Love always and forever,

Dad

Does anyone remember this...?

2013-04-07T19:58:00.000-07:00

Here is a post from Trina right before she thought I was going to win the deportation order and she would be forced to either A. Move back and face consequences or B. Allow Emily to come back home without her.

Please read this and tell me what you think has happened since this post on BringSeanHome.org

TrinaAtwell

New Member
Posts: 3

Re: Roy Koyama

« Reply #113 on: January 18, 2011, 06:14:29 PM »

My name is Trina Atwell-Chavarria. I am who Roy Koyama refers to as tK on these forums.

I know and understand that I am subjecting myself to much scrutiny and criticism by being on this forum. I'm an not here to ruin the forum or to make it a place LBPs do not want to come to get support. I know there are legitimate cases of parental kidnapping for the wrong reasons and I am glad to see that those LBPs have a support group to turn to.

My priority is my daughter's best interest and well being. I know some of you do not agree with this. I can't blame you from what I've read, the only information you have about what kind of person I am is from what Roy Koyama has posted. I most likely would have formed a negative opinion as well, based only on that information. I also know that most of the things posted about me from Roy Koyama are not true.

I am not here to criticize or to talk badly about Roy Koyama, but I do think it is important that those that donate to him understand that all things that are being said are not true.

He states that I have not been lenient with him in any form or fashion, this simply is not true. On several occasions I have tried to work with Roy Koyama to come to a mutual agreement so that Emily and I both could return back to Springfield, Missouri to take care of this in family court. He did come to an agreement (through our attorneys) at one point, but then backed out from the agreement less then 24 hours after my attorney was contacted with the agreement made. Emily and I would have been back in Springfield, Missouri and him with some sort of visitation through the custody hearing back in September 2010.

Another time that I tried to come to a mutual agreement with Roy Koyama so that Emily and I would come back to Springfield, MO, was in December 2010. I realized that he was going to any length to get Emily ripped away from everything and everyone she knows. Truth of the matter is, regardless of what the truth Emily has only been with me and only knows Costa Rica to be her home. Now I am not stating that I haven't been telling the truth, I'm just saying take that point and set it aside and really think about what it would do to a child to be ripped away and placed in the hands of a stranger(s). I never want to see my child go through such a freighting experience. So below you will see that I have in fact been lenient with Roy Koyama and have tried and tried to work something out to keep Emily least effected in this matter.

It seems to me, and this is only my opinion that if a father did only have the purpose of seeing, being with, or having any kind of a relationship with the child he claims to have been wrongfully kidnapped from him, he would come to some sort of a mutual agreement. A mutual agreement to get that child back to where he was. To keep that child during the process of transition safe and least effected. Keep it in a form that would not put that child in any kind of danger, physically or psychologically. This simply has not been the case with Roy Koyama.

I understand that you all are big supporters of Roy Koyama, and he is excited to possibly be the hero of the LBPs to get a child returned from the Country of Costa Rica. But is it really worth all the recognition? This is a child we are talking about.

I will not go into my side of the story of what happened back in the years of 2007- 2011 between Roy Koyama and myself. It is only perspective on the eyes that read it. But I do believe it is fair that you see that when you are donating dollars, hundreds and even thousands to get a child taken away from everything and everyone they know you should see that I did try to have us both back in Springfield, Missouri on Christmas Day.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, regardless if you do not agree with my actions of a mother to protect both herself and her children. I truly do hope for the best to those LBPs that are in a situation that they were honestly wronged in. I hope there is a quick resolution that is in the best interest of all parties. God bless you all.

You will find the email below that I sent to Roy Koyama on December 15, 2010. If you feel that this letter has been manipulated in any way or would like to have a screen shot of the email I would be happy to send it to your email upon request.

Trina Atwell-Chavarria

Roy,

I am willing to bring Emily back to Missouri (I have been for a while- remember when we tried to work it out before and you made an agreement about temporary custody but then rescinded?).

I'm begging you to reconsider your position. Can't we set aside our personal feelings and think about what is best for Emily?

Imagine how terrifying it would be for her to be suddenly taken from me and handed to a stranger. I know you think you are not a stranger to her, but the reality is that you are until you have spent some time with her in my presence- me letting her know that you are not a stranger.

How can you even think of making her spend hours or even days in the hands of COMPLETE strangers before she gets to you? How can you be 100% certain she would be safe? She's a baby. She can't say what's happened or happening. She can't speak up for herself.

Please, let's work together on this, so we can make it as easy as possible for her.

I know you want what is best for her.

I know you would never put Tai or Ryhs in such a scary situation; please don't allow Emily to go through that. She will be scarred for life by the trauma.

I know you don't want that for her.

I want what is best for her too. This is why I have been trying to get you to work out a deal- I don't want a life on the run for her, but I also refuse for her to be terrorized at 2 ? years old. She's a baby. She has never been away from me for more than a work day's worth of hours.

I know you think I have disappeared with her; I have not. We are right where we have always been.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep Emily safe and secure and happy. I will get two tickets for us immediately. Let's meet at the airport and spend time together (as much as is needed) with another person(s) to mediate if we each feel it is necessary. This way she can be introduced to you and you can enter her life in a gentle and non-traumatic manner.

Please remember that she doesn't speak much English. Her primary language is Spanish. I can help you understand what she wants with the words she uses.

I can tell you about her routine and what she is accustomed to.

Please try to remember that you are proposing to rip her from everything she knows. Her culture, her language, her pets, her nanny, her home, her family members, her mother ...everything.

When I think about the future, I know that I don't want a life of hiding for her. Of course, I never thought it would be like this. My intention was to get away from you in the short term; it was never my intention to become some kind of fugitive. Anyway...

I don't want that for Emily. That is the reason-the ONLY reason- I am willing to return. I want what is best for her. I want her to be safe, secure and happy.

Let's talk to the DA to get the warrant lifted, even on a contingency bases if that is what is needed (contingent upon our return within a certain time frame)so that she and I can return together and she will feel and BE safe. I have already checked flight fares and I can afford to fly us back on Christmas day as fares are lower then.

Let's work it out- for Emily's sake. Please.

Trina

Reaching out...

2013-03-06T11:03:00.001-08:00

I am not sure when I will ever get to see my daughter. I want her to know that she is not at fault for anything that has happened. Statistics show that some children will blame themselves for what has happened and I want to show Emily she has never been the reason for this. She is VERY missed & loved by me and her brothers.

The children are the victims and I will NEVER give up on having her in our lives.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

2013-02-21T13:17:00.000-08:00

I believe actions will always show character, not spoken or written words... I want a chance to show Trina that I have forgiven her, show her that I am a good father, and not hold any hard feelings toward her. The only thing is, she will not contact me in any form, send me pictures of my daughter at any level, and continues to ignore my plead for resolution.

I am not writing to do anything but always be truthful. I still have been doing what a good father does, and that's loving my children unconditionally, and never giving up my pursuit to get Emily back into our lives. As far as I know, I have been replaced by Henner Antonio Chavarria Romero as Emily's fake father, and co-conspirator to the long term crime. This blog is NOT about him, I just want to point him out, so anyone can analyze his character as a person that knows right from wrong and continues to conspire with Trina to keep Emily blind of knowing her "real" loving father.

Up to date, I have never posted anything negative about Trina, her family, or friends... I will continue to take the high road and not stoop to their level. You see, I know a LOT about her family, and if I was to disclose all I know, it would make me look just as bad as them (mostly Trina). Please understand I am not a vengeful person, malicious, or hateful. Everything I have ever posted can be proven, everything she has posted has NEVER been proven or she would've put it on the internet for the entire world to see. Doesn't this make sense to anyone??? I think the only people it makes sense to are the people that know better, and fellow kidnappers the people that have aided and assisted with the crime would disagree only because they don't know anything else but to live in fantasy land.

All I ever wanted is to have Emily in my life, nothing more. Now that it has been over 4 years, I am determined to prove that this will not continue beyond this year, and because of the new Senate Resolution and other resources I have gained, I promise I will make sure this is the year I hold my baby girl again. The main thing is, I want to do this with cooperation and make this easy for Trina to come back to the USA so we can work it out amicably and not have to use legal force.

I have forgiven Trina. I have learned the only way to get forgiveness is to give it, and this entire battle has only made me a stronger parent and man. I have never had to threaten her or her family to get my point across and will not ever do so, once again, if I had threatened anyone, it would've been plastered all over the internet. So for those of you that still believe she is "protecting" Emily, why don't you ask her why she hasn't "exposed" me for the monster she claims I am, and provide the evidence she has claimed to have as well??? It's because none of this exists.

I just want to set things right and give Trina the opportunity to come home and be a mother to both of her daughters, by actively participating in both of their lives. I think it is horrific that one child gets the personal love and affection, and the other doesn't. I also think it is more horrific when a mother thinks her love is more important than that of a loving father. Studies has proven that a biological fathers love is vital to the growth of a child, especially for a little girl growing up.

My plead - Please Trina, come back, I will beg to have the warrants dropped, I have been and will continue to go to parenting classes, I will jump through hoops to prove to you that I am a good father (which won't be hard for me since that's all I know how to be), I will do whatever it takes... just come back. I don't want this to become another legal battle that may get you in trouble with the law, as well as your family and friends that have assisted you. I will forget the past, and keep focused on the future for our daughter and other children we have. Will you please do the same? You don't have to like or love me, just do that for the innocent children that continually suffer on a regular basis. The children deserve the BEST.

Let me actions speak, and yours as well... PLEASE.

Below is an activity that I did with Tai in Cub Scouts (I am the assistant Den Leader), which will show you who is "still" on his mind, and yes, he still considers your other daughter to be his older sister (so does Rhys). All they want is to be with their sister/s.

Please make things semi-normal for our children. I beg you.

Sincerely,

Roy

A little taste of my character...

2013-02-07T21:18:00.003-08:00

Here are a couple letters from dear friends I have known for a very long time... I could use more as it is getting closer to my time to go back in front of a judge. Thank you to all that have always stuck in there with me, as it has been a long hard road.

A Father's Influence

2013-02-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children

Author(s): Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, U.S. Children's Bureau Rosenberg, Jeffrey., Wilcox, W. Bradford.

Year Published: 2006

Section I
2. Fathers and Their Impact on Children's Well-Being

A noted sociologist, Dr. David Popenoe, is one of the pioneers of the relatively young field of research into fathers and fatherhood. "Fathers are far more than just 'second adults' in the home," he says. "Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring."⁶ Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children. It is important for professionals working with fathers—especially in the difficult, emotionally charged arena in which child protective services (CPS) caseworkers operate—to have a working understanding of the literature that addresses this impact. Such knowledge will help make the case for why the most effective CPS case plans will involve fathers.

This chapter lays out the connection between fathers and child outcomes, including cognitive ability, educational achievement, psychological well-being, and social behavior. The chapter also underscores the impact of the father and mother's relationship on the well-being of their children. While serving as an introduction to the issues, this chapter is not intended as an exhaustive review of the literature. For the reader wishing to learn more, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/index.shtml), the National Fatherhood Initiative (www.fatherhood.org ), and the National Center for Fathering (www.fathers.com ) are valuable resources.

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2.1 The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes

One of the most important influences a father can have on his child is indirect—fathers influence their children in large part through the quality of their relationship with the mother of their children. A father who has a good relationship with the mother of their children is more likely to be involved and to spend time with their children and to have children who are psychologically and emotionally healthier. Similarly, a mother who feels affirmed by her children's father and who enjoys the benefits of a happy relationship is more likely to be a better mother. Indeed, the quality of the relationship affects the parenting behavior of both parents. They are more responsive, affectionate, and confident with their infants; more self-controlled in dealing with defiant toddlers; and better confidants for teenagers seeking advice and emotional support.⁷

One of the most important benefits of a positive relationship between mother and father, and a benefit directly related to the objectives of the CPS caseworker, is the behavior it models for children. Fathers who treat the mothers of their children with respect and deal with conflict within the relationship in an adult and appropriate manner are more likely to have boys who understand how they are to treat women and who are less likely to act in an aggressive fashion toward females. Girls with involved, respectful fathers see how they should expect men to treat them and are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships. In contrast, research has shown that husbands who display anger, show contempt for, or who stonewall their wives (i.e., "the silent treatment") are more likely to have children who are anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial. ⁸

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2.2 The Impact of Fathers on Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement

Children with involved, caring fathers have better educational outcomes. A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing, and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as better linguistic and cognitive capacities.⁹ Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.¹⁰

The influence of a father's involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. Numerous studies find that an active and nurturing style of fathering is associated with better verbal skills, intellectual functioning, and academic achievement among adolescents.¹¹ For instance, a 2001 U.S. Department of Education study found that highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 percent more likely than other children to earn mostly As and 33 percent less likely than other children to repeat a grade.¹²

The Link Between Marriage and Fatherhood
Caring, involved fathers exist outside of marriage. They are more likely, however, to be found in the context of marriage. There are numerous reasons for this, not the least of which being the legal and social norms associated with marriage that connect a father to the family unit. That may also explain, in part, why research consistently shows that the married mother-and-father family is a better environment for raising children than the cohabitating (living together) mother-and-father family.¹⁴ It is interesting to note that, contrary to stereotypes about low-income, unmarried parents, a significant majority—more than 8 in 10—of urban, low-income fathers and mothers are in a romantic relationship when their children are born.¹⁵ Most of these couples expect that they will get married. One study found that more than 80 percent expected they would get married or live together. However, only 11 percent of these couples had actually married a year later.¹⁶ Why they do not marry is an interesting question open to conjecture. However, as Dr. Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has pointed out, it may be because these couples receive very little encouragement to marry from the health and social services professionals with whom they come in contact.¹⁷

The Link Between Marriage and Fatherhood

Caring, involved fathers exist outside of marriage. They are more likely, however, to be found in the context of marriage. There are numerous reasons for this, not the least of which being the legal and social norms associated with marriage that connect a father to the family unit. That may also explain, in part, why research consistently shows that the married mother-and-father family is a better environment for raising children than the cohabitating (living together) mother-and-father family.¹⁴

It is interesting to note that, contrary to stereotypes about low-income, unmarried parents, a significant majority—more than 8 in 10—of urban, low-income fathers and mothers are in a romantic relationship when their children are born.¹⁵ Most of these couples expect that they will get married. One study found that more than 80 percent expected they would get married or live together. However, only 11 percent of these couples had actually married a year later.¹⁶ Why they do not marry is an interesting question open to conjecture. However, as Dr. Wade Horn, Assistant Secretary for Children and Families at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has pointed out, it may be because these couples receive very little encouragement to marry from the health and social services professionals with whom they come in contact.¹⁷

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2.3 The Impact of Fathers on Psychological Well-Being and Social Behavior

Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, be confident to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections with peers. These children also are less likely to get in trouble at home, school, or in the neighborhood.¹³ Infants who receive high levels of affection from their fathers (e.g., babies whose fathers respond quickly to their cries and who play together) are more securely attached; that is, they can explore their environment comfortably when a parent is nearby and can readily accept comfort from their parent after a brief separation. A number of studies suggest they also are more sociable and popular with other children throughout early childhood.¹⁸

The way fathers play with their children also has an important impact on a child's emotional and social development. Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants and preschoolers in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions.¹⁹ Generally speaking, fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development. As a result, children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior.²⁰

One study of school-aged children found that children with good relationships with their fathers were less likely to experience depression, to exhibit disruptive behavior, or to lie and were more likely to exhibit pro-social behavior.²¹ This same study found that boys with involved fathers had fewer school behavior problems and that girls had stronger self-esteem.²² In addition, numerous studies have found that children who live with their fathers are more likely to have good physical and emotional health, to achieve academically, and to avoid drugs, violence, and delinquent behavior.²³

In short, fathers have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of children. A caseworker who understands the important contributions fathers make to their children's development and how to effectively involve fathers in the case planning process will find additional and valuable allies in the mission to create a permanent and safe environment for children.

Dispelling the Stereotype of Low-income Fathers
It is very important for anybody working with fathers, especially CPS caseworkers, to dispel one common stereotype: the image of low-income urban fathers as disengaged and uninvolved with their children. As Dr. Michael Lamb has stated, "Our research really bashes the stereotype of the low-income father. These fathers care about their kids, but may not show their love in conventional ways and sometimes a lack of a job, poor communication with the mom, or even their own childhood experiences can prevent them from getting involved."²⁴ Too often, professionals may assume that a low-income, urban dad who does not live with his children is uninvolved with, even unconcerned about, his children. This can push a father away from his family, the exact opposite of what a CPS caseworker wants to see happen.

Dispelling the Stereotype of Low-income Fathers

It is very important for anybody working with fathers, especially CPS caseworkers, to dispel one common stereotype: the image of low-income urban fathers as disengaged and uninvolved with their children. As Dr. Michael Lamb has stated, "Our research really bashes the stereotype of the low-income father. These fathers care about their kids, but may not show their love in conventional ways and sometimes a lack of a job, poor communication with the mom, or even their own childhood experiences can prevent them from getting involved."²⁴ Too often, professionals may assume that a low-income, urban dad who does not live with his children is uninvolved with, even unconcerned about, his children. This can push a father away from his family, the exact opposite of what a CPS caseworker wants to see happen.

⁶ Popenoe, D. (1996). Life without father: Compelling new evidence that fatherhood and marriage are indispensable for the good of children and society (p. 163). New York, NY: The Free Press; Stanton, G. T. (2003). How fathers, as male parents, matter for healthy child development [On-line]. Available:http://www.citizenlink.org/FOSI/marriage/A000002226.cfm. back
⁷ Lamb, M. E. (2002). Infant-father attachments and their impact on child development. In C. S. Tamis-LeMonda & N. Cabrera (Eds.), Handbook of father involvement: Multidisciplinary perspectives (pp. 93-118). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum; Cummings, E. M., & O'Reilly, A. W. (1997). Fathers and family context: Effects of marital quality on child adjustment. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.), The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 49-65, 318-325). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons; Lamb, M. E. (1997). Fathers and child development: An introductory overview and guide. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.),The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 1-18, 309-313). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. back
⁸ Gable, S., Crnic, K., & Belsky, J. (1994). Coparenting within the family system: Influences on children's development.Family Relations, 43(4), 380-386. back
⁹ Pruett, K. (2000). Father-need. New York, NY: Broadway Books; Sternberg, K. J. (1997). back
¹⁰ Pruett, K. (2000). back
¹¹ Goldstine, H. S. (1982). Fathers' absence and cognitive development of 12-17 year olds. Psychological Reports, 51, 843-848; Nord, C., & West, J. (2001). Fathers' and mothers' involvement in their children's schools by family type and resident status [On-line]. Available: http://nces.ed.gov/pubsearch/pubsinfo.asp?pubid=2001032. back
¹² Nord, C., & West, J. (2001). back
¹³ Yeung, W. J., Duncan, G. J., & Hill, M. S. (2000). Putting fathers back in the picture: Parental activities and children's adult outcomes. In H. E. Peters, G. W. Peterson, S. K. Steinmetz, & R. D. Day (Eds.), Fatherhood: Research, interventions and policies (pp. 97-113). New York, NY: Hayworth Press; Harris, K. M., & Marmer, J. K. (1996). Poverty, paternal involvement, and adolescent well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 17(5), 614-640; Pleck, J. H. (1997). Paternal involvement: Levels, sources, and consequences. In M. E. Lamb (Ed.), The role of fathers in child development (3rd ed., pp. 66-103). New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons. back
¹⁴ Palkovitz, R. (2002). Involved fathering and child development: Advancing our understanding of good fathering. In C. S. Tamis-LeMonda & N. Cabrera (Eds), Handbook of father involvement: Multidisciplinary perspectives (pp. 119-140). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum; Wilcox, W. B. (2004) Soft patriarchs, new men: How Christianity shapes husbands and fathers. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press; Hofferth, S., & Anderson, K. (2003). Are all dads equal? Biology versus marriage as a basis for paternal investment. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(1), 213-232; Clarke, L., Cooksey, E. C., & Verropoulou, G. (1998). Fathers and absent fathers: Sociodemographic similarities in Britain and the United States.Demography, 35(2), 217-228. back
¹⁵ McLanahan, S., Garfinkel, I., Reichman, N., Teitler, J., Carlson, M., & Norland Audigier, C. (2003, March). The fragile families and child well-being study. Baseline national report. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Wellbeing.back
¹⁶ Gibson, G., Edin, K., & McLanahan, S. (2003, June). High hopes but even higher expectations: The retreat from marriage among low-income couples. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Wellbeing. back
¹⁷ Horn, W. (2003). Closing the marriage gap [On-line]. Available: http://www.crisismagazine.com/june2003/horn.htm.back
¹⁸ Pruett, K. (2000); Lamb, M. E. (2002). back
¹⁹ Parke, R.D. (1996); Lamb (2002). back
²⁰ Parke, R.D. (1996). back
²¹ Mosley, J., & Thompson, E. (1995). Fathering behavior and child outcomes: The role of race and poverty. In W. Marsiglio (Ed.), Fatherhood: Contemporary theory, research, and social policy (pp. 148-165). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. back
²² Mosley, J., & Thompson, E. (1995). back
²³ Horn, W., & Sylvester, T. (2002); U. S. Department of Health and Human Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (1996). The relationship between family structure and adolescent substance abuse. Rockville, MD: National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information; Harper, C., & McLanahan, S. S. (1998).Father absence and youth incarceration. Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the American Sociological Association, San Francisco, CA; Brenner, E. (1999). Fathers in prison: A review of the data. Philadelphia, PA: National Center on Fathers and Families. back
²⁴ Marsiglio, W., Day, R. D., Braver, S., Evans, J. V., Lamb, M. E., & Peters, E. (1998). Social fatherhood and paternal involvement: Conceptual, data, and policymaking issues [On-line]. Available:http://fatherhood.hhs.gov/CFSForum/c4.htm.

This is love...

2013-02-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

This letter is from her older brothers... the other children that are directly affected by the decision made by kidnapping Emily to Costa Rica. I guess how they feel doesn't matter to Trina, as they have been erased from Emily's life too. They still get very sad when they think about what precious moments they are missing with their little sister. It's called child abuse, kidnapping, and now is viewed as a criminal offense thanks to Senate Resolution 543.

Make the best move for all the children Trina, and comeback while I am still willing to not use the new SR 543... I don't want you to be in jail. I want Emily in both out lives, as well as having her know her brothers and sister. Please do what is "really" right... not what you have convinced your fellow kidnappers and other people that don't know the entire truth about "your" real past that I have never disclosed publicly. I am keeping a lot quiet, not for your benefit, but for our children... I just wish you had the same intentions, but kidnappers only think of themselves. Time to step up to the plate, please...

4 Years ago the crime was executed...

2013-02-02T17:11:00.003-08:00

4 years ago Trina Atwell from Marshfield, MO executed the crime of kidnapping she and her family planned for over 4 months. She did a great job of setting me up so she could take everything I had in order to make things almost impossible for me to put up a legal battle. Little did she know I would never give up, as she has expressed she thought would happen in a statement she made to the media.

Winners never quit, and losers hide behind excuses. I have never understood why she felt that lying about me and my character would make the world come to her side, the only people that have are her family (which they helped her commit the crime and may face the consequences of the new SR 543 for aiding and abiding), and her best supporters are other known kidnappers (birds of a feather flock together).

As for me being what she has claimed, she has yet to prove one word of her story to be true. I have been approved to volunteer at the local grade school as a WATCH DOG DAD and school volunteer (which they are doing extensive background checks due to what happened in Newtown, CT), and now recently have become the assistant Den Leader for my youngest son's Cub Scout pack.

I am not on here to try and make myself look anything but how I have always been... I am a father looking to have my daughter in my life. Period. I've never claimed to be perfect, but I can testify that I am not anywhere near what she claims I am. Funny thing is I have several people that have written character letters stating what type of father and person I am in real life.

Her story is just that, a story (fictional of course). It seems that if you cry to enough people, and have a sister that makes a career on marketing & media, you can convince people of just about anything these days... the only thing they have ALWAYS lacked, is ANY EVIDENCE of her bogus claims.

At this point all I care about is seeing my daughter. There was a point where I thought she was best suited for jail, but this was early in the process and I knew Emily still knew who I was... she has done such a good job at hiding my existence from my daughter that now I feel it would be best if she returned to the USA and we work things out that will "actually" be the best for Emily. I have reached out in many ways to set this up, but "she" still acts like she is above the law, at least from my perspective. Until I see anything different, how should I feel? She does nothing to make sure Emily gets to know her brothers, as she could do this through my ex-wife (the mother of my boys) who is neutral so the boys might be able to see/speak to the only sister they have, and miss with all their hearts.

I can't wrap my head around how she can be so heartless and still gain the respect from "anyone" in this world. I truly believe she has spun such a horrific lie, that she can't turn back from trying to make it "the" reality in her life... it's too bad that she'll probably lose Emily later in life for good as I have been contacted by other adults that were the kidnapped child, and have told me they NEVER WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PARENT THAT ABDUCTED THEM. She "thinks" Emily will make the right decision later in life, but doesn't realize she has already made it for her, and it's time that will show her just how much hate she will create in a little girl that should love both parents. i am not just using speculation, or hoping she despises her mother (as this is the opposite of what I pray for), but history tells the truth. Just ask any child that was abducted and found out later how the abducting parent made all the choices, and NEVER gave the child a chance to know the left behind parent.

This whole story is a sad one... many people want it to end, but it will never end until Emily is where she "belongs" and that is in the USA with all of her family, not just her mother, being raised as an only child.

I'm still giving you a chance to make this right Trina, as I have reached out to an International Organization willing to help us make it happen... Taking this route can help you and your helpers avoid a lot of trouble, and give "our" daughter back what has been kept from her for the last 4 years.

The next step can be yours, and will show the world your grace... or???

Co-Conspirator

2013-01-21T20:45:00.004-08:00

Co-Conspirator to the kidnapping... Henner Antonio Chavarria Romero. He has now become a major part of this crime as he has been participating in the hiding of Emily, and also helped Trina abscond with Emily December 21, 2010. All involved will be exposed, one by one... then arrested the same, as Senate Resolution 543 has changed the rules. Kidnappers don't get to win anymore. Period.

Another chapter is about to begin

2013-01-13T06:22:00.002-08:00

Well... I have reached out to Trina to see if we can make it possible for her to return to the USA without having warrants for her arrest, to allow Emily to experience a full life by having her brothers and sister by her side, and I have heard nothing. I have even reached out to an organization that can contact her to give share this information, which they have done, and still nothing... I guess my next step is to go full throttle with the resources I have been given if I don't hear anything VERY soon.

I do it with a heavy heart, as I realize that Emily would be best suited to have a mother that is not in prison, and to not have to charge her other family members with aiding and abiding. I just want what is best for all the children involved, and if my hand is forced, I will have to make it happen the hard way for those that are not willing to look beyond their own noses.

I have two boys (Emily's older brothers) that get to deal with pain around the holidays, wishing their sister was with them, deal with more pain around her birthday, and just overall miss their little sister. All they have ever wanted was to be her big brothers, and they have been robbed of this right, being victims of the crime of kidnapping. It's not fair to them. I get upset when they ask about when they will see her, as she is always on their minds. We have NOT taken down pictures of her because we want to forget, in fact we look at the pictures to keep her warm in our hearts... it just hurts that we don't even get a recent photo to know what she currently looks like, but ALL OF THIS WILL STOP IN 2013 with the help of some incredible people that have the best interests of the children in mind. This is not about me, or Trina to be honest, it's about some children that have had their lives affected by a crime that didn't have to happen. This does in fact alter their adult lives as I have found out from other kidnapped children that are now adults... it's devastating to a child.

So... you are now witnessing the next chapter in my fight against International Parental Kidnapping. I've been quiet for a little while, but to be honest, it was the calm before the storm, as I have been once again building my International case, getting my ducks in a row, and preparing for another victory in the International courts in Costa Rica. If I was given the opportunity to appear or be represented in the last appeal held in Costa Rica, Emily would've been home over 2 years ago.

I'm not missing another birthday, she turn 5 years old this year, and will know I exist and have been fighting to see her the entire time she has been held prisoner without even knowing it.

God Bless all those that have never given up on the REAL TRUTH.

Senate Resolution 543 [112th]

2013-01-06T18:39:00.000-08:00

Accepted! Left-Behind-Parents now have a major resource...

Summary: S.Res.543 [112th]

12/04/2012)

(This measure has not been amended since it was reported to the Senate on September 19, 2012. The summary of that version is repeated here.)

Condemns the international abduction of all children.

Urges countries identified by the Department of State as noncompliant or demonstrating patterns of noncompliance with the Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction to fulfill their commitment to implement the Convention.

Calls on all countries: (1) to become a party to the Convention and institute measures to address cases of international parental child abduction, and (2) that have not become a party to the Convention to develop a mechanism for the resolution of cases of international parental child abduction that occur prior to becoming a party to the Convention.

Expresses the sense of the Senate that the United States should: (1) pursue the return of each child abducted by a parent from the United States to another country through all appropriate means, facilitate access by the left-behind parent if the child is not returned, and, where appropriate, seek the extradition of the abductor parent; (2) take all appropriate measures to ensure that a child abducted to a Convention country is returned to the child's country of habitual residence; (3) use diplomacy to encourage other countries to become a party to the Convention and to encourage countries that have not become a party to the Convention to develop a mechanism to resolve cases of international child abduction that occur prior to becoming a party to the Convention; and (4) review the advisory services made available to U.S. citizens by the Department of State, the Department of Justice (DOJ), and other U.S. government agencies to improve the prevention of such child abduction from the United States, and to ensure that effective assistance is provided to U.S. citizen parents of such abducted children.

[Congressional Bills 112th Congress]
[From the U.S. Government Printing Office]
[S. Res. 543 Reported in Senate (RS)]

                                                       Calendar No. 528
112th CONGRESS
  2d Session
S. RES. 543

  To express the sense of the Senate on international parental child 
                               abduction.


_______________________________________________________________________


                   IN THE SENATE OF THE UNITED STATES

                             August 2, 2012

  Mrs. Boxer (for herself, Mr. Lautenberg, Mr. Kerry, Mr. Lugar, Mr. 
Inhofe, Mr. Cardin, Ms. Mikulski, Mrs. Feinstein, Mrs. Gillibrand, Ms. 
Landrieu, Mr. Merkley, Mrs. Murray, Mr. Rubio, Mr. Leahy, Mr. Kirk, Mr. 
    Menendez, Mr. Casey, Mr. Moran, Mr. Wyden, Mr. Blumenthal, Mrs. 
Hutchison, Mr. Blunt, Mr. Roberts, Mr. Durbin, and Mr. Reed) submitted 
   the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on 
                           Foreign Relations

                           September 19, 2012

   Reported by Mr. Kerry, with an amendment and an amendment to the 
                                preamble
[Strike out all after the resolving clause and insert the part printed 
                               in italic]
      [Strike the preamble and insert the part printed in italic]

_______________________________________________________________________

                               RESOLUTION


 
  To express the sense of the Senate on international parental child 
                               abduction.

Whereas international parental child abduction is a tragic and common 
        occurrence;
Whereas the abduction of a child by one parent is a heartbreaking loss for the 
        left-behind parent and deprives the child of a relationship with 2 
        loving parents;
Whereas, according to the Report on Compliance with the Hague Convention on the 
        Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction of the United States 
        Department of State from April 2010, research shows that abducted 
        children are at risk of significant short- and long-term problems, 
        including ``anxiety, eating problems, nightmares, mood swings, sleep 
        disturbances, [and] aggressive behavior'';
Whereas, according to that report, left-behind parents may also experience 
        substantial psychological and emotional issues, including feelings of 
        ``betrayal, sadness over the loss of their children or the end of their 
        marriage, anger toward the other parent, anxiety, sleeplessness, and 
        severe depression'', as well as financial strain while fighting for the 
        return of a child;
Whereas, since 1988, the United States, which has a treaty relationship under 
        the Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, 
        done at The Hague October 25, 1980 (TIAS 11670) (referred to in this 
        preamble as the ``Hague Abduction Convention'') with 69 other countries, 
        has agreed with its treaty partners to follow the terms of the Hague 
        Abduction Convention;
Whereas the Hague Abduction Convention provides a legal framework for securing 
        the prompt return of wrongfully removed or retained children to the 
        countries of their habitual residence where competent courts can make 
        decisions on issues of custody and the best interests of the children;
Whereas, according to the United States Department of State, the number of new 
        cases of international child abduction from the United States increased 
        from 579 in 2006 to 941 in 2011;
Whereas, in 2011, those 941 cases involved 1,367 children who were reported 
        abducted from the United States by a parent and taken to a foreign 
        country;
Whereas, in 2011, more than 660 children who were abducted from the United 
        States and taken to a foreign country were returned to the United 
        States;
Whereas 7 of the top 10 countries to which children from the United States were 
        most frequently abducted in 2011 are parties to the Hague Abduction 
        Convention, including Mexico, Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, 
        Ecuador, Brazil, and Colombia;
Whereas Japan, India, and Egypt are not parties to the Hague Abduction 
        Convention and were also among the top 10 countries to which children in 
        the United States were most frequently abducted in 2011;
Whereas, in many countries, such as Japan and India, international parental 
        child abduction is not considered a crime, and custody rulings made by 
        courts in the United States are not typically recognized by courts in 
        those countries; and
Whereas Japan is the only member of the Group of 7 major industrialized 
        countries that has not ratified the Hague Abduction Convention: Now, 
        therefore, be it
Whereas international parental child abduction is a tragic and common 
        occurrence;
Whereas the abduction of a child by one parent is a heartbreaking loss for the 
        left-behind parent and deprives the child of a relationship with 2 
        loving parents;
Whereas, according to the Report on Compliance with the Hague Convention on the 
        Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction of the United States 
        Department of State from April 2010, research shows that abducted 
        children are at risk of significant short- and long-term problems, 
        including ``anxiety, eating problems, nightmares, mood swings, sleep 
        disturbances, [and] aggressive behavior'';
Whereas, according to that report, left-behind parents may also experience 
        substantial psychological and emotional issues, including feelings of 
        ``betrayal, sadness over the loss of their children or the end of their 
        marriage, anger toward the other parent, anxiety, sleeplessness, and 
        severe depression'', as well as financial strain while fighting for the 
        return of a child;
Whereas, since 1988, the United States, which has a treaty relationship under 
        the Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, 
        done at The Hague October 25, 1980 (TIAS 11670) (referred to in this 
        preamble as the ``Hague Abduction Convention'') with 69 other countries, 
        has agreed with its treaty partners to follow the terms of the Hague 
        Abduction Convention;
Whereas the Hague Abduction Convention provides a legal framework for securing 
        the prompt return of wrongfully removed or retained children to the 
        countries of their habitual residence where competent courts can make 
        decisions on issues of custody and the best interests of the children;
Whereas, according to the United States Department of State, the number of new 
        cases of international child abduction from the United States increased 
        from 579 in 2006 to 941 in 2011;
Whereas, in 2011, those 941 cases involved 1,367 children who were reported 
        abducted from the United States by a parent and taken to a foreign 
        country;
Whereas, in 2011, more than 660 children who were abducted from the United 
        States and taken to a foreign country were returned to the United 
        States;
Whereas 7 of the top 10 countries to which children from the United States were 
        most frequently abducted in 2011 are parties to the Hague Abduction 
        Convention, including Mexico, Canada, the United Kingdom, Germany, 
        Ecuador, Brazil, and Colombia;
Whereas Japan, India, and Egypt are not parties to the Hague Abduction 
        Convention and were also among the top 10 countries to which children in 
        the United States were most frequently abducted in 2011;
Whereas, in many countries, such as Japan and India, international parental 
        child abduction is not considered a crime, and custody rulings made by 
        courts in the United States are not typically recognized by courts in 
        those countries; and
Whereas Japan is the only member of the Group of 7 major industrialized 
        countries that has not yet become a party to the Hague Abduction 
        Convention: Now, therefore, be it
    Resolved, That--
            (1) the Senate--
                    (A) condemns the unlawful international 
                abduction of all children;
                    (B) urges countries identified by the 
                United States Department of State as noncompliant or 
                demonstrating patterns of noncompliance with the 
                Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child 
                Abduction, done at The Hague October 25, 1980 (TIAS 
                11670) (referred to in this resolution as the ``Hague 
                Abduction Convention'') to fulfill their commitment 
                under international law to expeditiously implement the 
                provisions of the Hague Abduction Convention;
                    (C) calls on all countries to accede to or 
                ratify the Hague Abduction Convention and to promptly 
                institute measures to equitably and transparently 
                address cases of international parental child 
                abduction; and
                    (D) calls on all countries that have not 
                acceded to or ratified the Hague Abduction Convention 
                to develop a mechanism for the resolution of current 
                and future cases of international parental child 
                abduction that occur before those countries accede to 
                or ratify the Hague Abduction Convention in order to 
                facilitate the prompt return of children abducted to 
                those countries to the children's countries of habitual 
                residence; and
            (2) it is the sense of the Senate that the United 
        States should--
                    (A) aggressively pursue the return of each 
                child abducted by a parent from the United States to 
                another country through all appropriate means, 
                consistent with the Hague Abduction Convention, and 
                through extradition, when appropriate, and facilitate 
                access by the left-behind parent if the child is not 
                returned;
                    (B) take all appropriate measures to 
                ensure that a child abducted to a country that is a 
                party to the Hague Abduction Convention is returned to 
                the country of habitual residence of the child in 
                compliance with the provisions of the Hague Abduction 
                Convention;
                    (C) continue to use diplomacy to encourage 
                other countries to accede to or ratify the Hague 
                Abduction Convention and to take the necessary steps to 
                effectively fulfill their responsibilities under the 
                Hague Abduction Convention;
                    (D) use diplomacy to encourage countries 
                that have not acceded to or ratified the Hague 
                Abduction Convention to develop an institutionalized 
                mechanism to transparently and expeditiously resolve 
                current and future cases of international child 
                abduction that occur before those countries accede to 
                or ratify the Hague Abduction Convention; and
                    (E) review the advisory services made 
                available to United States citizens by the United 
                States Department of State, the United States 
                Department of Justice, and other United States 
                Government agencies--
                            (i) to improve the prevention of 
                        international parental child abduction from the 
                        United States; and
                            (ii) to ensure that effective and 
                        timely assistance is provided to United States 
                        citizens who are parents of children abducted 
                        from the United States and taken to foreign 
                        countries.
    That--
            (1) the Senate--
                    (A) condemns the international abduction of all 
                children;
                    (B) urges countries identified by the United States 
                Department of State as noncompliant or demonstrating 
                patterns of noncompliance with the Convention on the 
                Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, done at 
                The Hague October 25, 1980 (TIAS 11670) (referred to in 
                this resolution as the ``Hague Abduction Convention'') 
                to fulfill their commitment under international law to 
                expeditiously implement the provisions of the Hague 
                Abduction Convention;
                    (C) calls on all countries to become a party to the 
                Hague Abduction Convention and to promptly institute 
                measures to equitably and transparently address cases 
                of international parental child abduction; and
                    (D) calls on all countries that have not become a 
                party to the Hague Abduction Convention to develop a 
                mechanism for the resolution of current and future 
                cases of international parental child abduction that 
                occur before those countries become a party to the 
                Hague Abduction Convention in order to facilitate the 
                prompt return of children abducted to those countries 
                to the children's countries of habitual residence; and
            (2) it is the sense of the Senate that the United States 
        should--
                    (A) vigorously pursue the return of each child 
                abducted by a parent from the United States to another 
                country through all appropriate means, facilitate 
                access by the left-behind parent if the child is not 
                returned, and, where appropriate, seek the extradition 
                of the parent that abducted the child;
                    (B) take all appropriate measures to ensure that a 
                child abducted to a country that is a party to the 
                Hague Abduction Convention is returned to the country 
                of habitual residence of the child in compliance with 
                the provisions of the Hague Abduction Convention;
                    (C) continue to use diplomacy to encourage other 
                countries to become a party to the Hague Abduction 
                Convention and to take the necessary steps to 
                effectively fulfill their responsibilities under the 
                Hague Abduction Convention;
                    (D) use diplomacy to encourage countries that have 
                not become a party to the Hague Abduction Convention to 
                develop an institutionalized mechanism to transparently 
                and expeditiously resolve current and future cases of 
                international child abduction that occur before those 
                countries become a party to the Hague Abduction 
                Convention; and
                    (E) review the advisory services made available to 
                United States citizens by the United States Department 
                of State, the United States Department of Justice, and 
                other United States Government agencies--
                            (i) to improve the prevention of 
                        international parental child abduction from the 
                        United States; and
                            (ii) to ensure that effective and timely 
                        assistance is provided to United States 
                        citizens who are parents of children abducted 
                        from the United States and taken to foreign 
                        countries.




                                                       Calendar No. 528

112th CONGRESS

  2d Session

                              S. RES. 543

_______________________________________________________________________

                               RESOLUTION

  To express the sense of the Senate on international parental child 
                               abduction.

_______________________________________________________________________

                           September 19, 2012

      Reported with an amendment and an amendment to the preamble

Thank God for you...

2012-12-30T06:44:00.002-08:00

Just a reminder... I have no idea where I would be without the unconditional love and support of my friends and family.

When this all went down a few years ago, I was lost in a deep sea of depression, luckily my family and friends pulled me out before it was too late.

Thank God for all of you!

I honestly feel like nothing is impossible these days, nothing. I also feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. What a great feeling to have confidence that I am stronger every day because of the roads I've traveled.

I am stronger every day

2012-12-27T18:40:00.002-08:00

Dear Trina...

2012-12-26T18:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Trina,
It has been a long time since I've seen our daughter. You have done a good job of erasing me, substituting me, and slandering my name. I am forgive you for all you have done, said, and things unknown to me. What I would like to do is make arrangements to have you return to the USA with all warrants dropped, give you custody so we can share visitation, and help you to have both of your daughters in your life, as well as allow Emily to know her big sister and brothers on a personal level.

This is an opportunity I believe you should take. There are new resources allowed to Left-Behind-Parents that, if I were to utilize them, could cause many people more pain. I do not want this for you, or them... As I said before, I forgive you. Don't take my forgiveness as weakness, instead, look at it as a blessing to give you a second chance at life in the USA with no consequences.

Our daughter deserves everything, as do our other children. I beg you to be the hero and come back without duress, and amicably. You are a smart woman, and I have a head on my shoulders that works, so I know we can work things out to both of our satisfaction. We both want the best for "our" daughter, I have experience from previously abducted children, and the future doesn't look good for Emily, or your relationship with her as she gains more knowledge of what has occurred.

You have tried to replace me with the so-called husband you tell everyone you are with in Costa Rica, the same one you told me is a crook and alcoholic... He appears to simply be a pawn for your quest, and will fade quickly from Emily's memory when she is near me. I am studying Spanish to help me better to communicate with our daughter, as I have learned her primary language is Spanish, being raised as an only child under the supervision of a Spanish only speaking nanny.

Please remember the "real" truth... you have nothing to fear from me, as you never have. I have hundreds that will testify to my character, how I live a clean life without alcohol or the drugs you accuse me of abusing. I have no criminal record, and to date, you have never provided an ounce of evidence to prove me wrong or unworthy. I will continue to live this way, and will not worry about your accusations. The only people that believe your claims have no idea about who I am, and most likely road your coat tails during our international battle.

Prove to the world you are sincere about being a good mother and take my offer to return... We'll all be waiting, and excited to see you come back. Please come back, Costa Rica is too far for me to travel as much as I would like to see Emily, and her brothers would never get to see her either.

You and only you can make the best decision now...

Sincerely,

Roy
Emily's "Real" Daddy

Bring Emily Back Home...

2012-08-30T21:20:00.001-07:00

Bring Emily Back Home...: This fund raiser will assist to help pay for raising legal fees associated with the overturning of the court order that was granted with a proceeding in which I was never served or made aware of that stayed the only deportation order in Costa Rica.

I have the only return/deportation order given in the country of Costa Rica, and still can't get her home.

WHAT I RAISE WILL BE MATCHED BY an individual person (not wanting their name mentioned due to sercurity reasons).

The REAL goal is to reach approximately $6,000 through this fundraiser to get what is needed for all the services, including the retrun of my daughter from Costa Rica back to the United States.

David Goldman had to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, and it looks like I can do this for just under the original $20,000 I was trying to raise.

Please give just $10.00 and this will add up quickly.

We've been close before.

I am not in the financial position to fight the good fight, just able to fight the only fight I can. I am trying to raise funds to get my daughter back to the USA.

2012-07-30T18:33:00.001-07:00

And so it continues...

Things are going well... I am getting things accomplished. No more focusing on "anything" else until my baby is in back in my life... everyone/thing else can wait.

My kids always come first, sometimes I get wrapped up thinking other things/people can help me get where I need to be, but I finally realized I am the only person that can "really" do anything about this mess... Please send your prayers, as I have one God to help me, and prayers are a direct line to him... thanks!

Don't get me wrong... I've had and still get the help of some of the most incredible people on this planet. Thank God!

Seeking Emily Facebook Page

Emily's 4th Birthday...

2012-07-04T18:14:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Emily! This is me and your brothers Rhys and Tai singing to you... We miss you and hope to see you soon!

Love always and FOREVER,

Daddy

Blueprints - The story of a Left Behind Parent

Help me understand

Coming up on 6 years

Trina...

5 Years and nothing...

On the run forever, or would you like to come home...?

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas Emily

Who knew...

My baby girl turns 5 years old today...

Does anyone remember this...?

TrinaAtwell

Re: Roy Koyama

Reaching out...

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

A little taste of my character...

A Father's Influence

The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children

Section I2. Fathers and Their Impact on Children's Well-Being

2.1 The Impact of the Mother-Father Relationship on Child Outcomes

2.2 The Impact of Fathers on Cognitive Ability and Educational Achievement

2.3 The Impact of Fathers on Psychological Well-Being and Social Behavior

This is love...

4 Years ago the crime was executed...

Co-Conspirator

Another chapter is about to begin

Senate Resolution 543 [112th]

Accepted! Left-Behind-Parents now have a major resource...

Summary: S.Res.543 [112th]

Thank God for you...

I am stronger every day

Dear Trina...

Bring Emily Back Home...

Seeking Emily Facebook Page

Emily's 4th Birthday...

Section I
2. Fathers and Their Impact on Children's Well-Being