Untitled

tired, time, trashed

2012-02-10T05:36:00.008-07:00

I was explaining to a friend tonight what my schedule has been like for the past five weeks; how that contributed to my being so sick for the past 10 days ... yes, 10 fucking days; and also explaining why I haven't called to thank her for the super thoughtful birthday gift that she sent so that it would arrive exactly on my birthday. The final analysis of that conversation ... I don't have time.

Quote Thursday

2012-02-09T05:57:00.010-07:00

I don't have time to find a poem so I am swiping, I mean sharing, a quote from the passion journal. It feels like just the right amount of sincerity and irony for the day. Hope you like it ...and can visualize Alice's quizzical look. "Be who you are," said the Duchess to Alice, "or, if you would like it put more simply, never try to be what you might have been or could have been other than

seen at sb

2012-02-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

picture this: about 4 scraggly blond hair green shirt tights but no pants and RED cowboy boots ... now that's living...

mish mash and swiss cheese

2012-02-07T05:31:00.000-07:00

I am still recovering from the terrible cold that tried to ruin my birthday ... there were other actors in the mix trying to make my life hell, but let's just stick with the cold as the biggest culprit. Here are a few tidbits I am thinking about ... 1) thinking about reading this book. If you want to know more, check out this interview. If you still need convincing, read an excerpt here. 2) I

A Great Lady

2012-02-06T05:21:00.002-07:00

There are times when you say, I don't want to live in a world without so-and-so. For me, those times are few and far between. Partly because I enjoy most people. That is, I am able to find even annoying people entertaining. Also, it is because I often meet people who I know briefly but come to admire quickly. I don't necessarily know the world with or without them in it ... so, I enjoy their

California Dreaming

2012-02-03T06:41:00.010-07:00

By now, my dreaming will have become reality. And if the weather people are accurately predicting then I am in for beach weather. [They vacillate between 70s and overcast and 60s and sunny -- either can be beach weather if you are in the right frame of mind.] I miss living in SoCal in February the most ... when it is not raining that is. Gorgeous weather, strawberries ripening - cold every

Porque es mi cumpleanos...

2012-02-02T05:10:00.011-07:00

Este regalito para mi; seguro ya lo he compartido alguna vez, pero el jueves de la poesia no siempre cae en el cumple -- es mi dia... guste o no te guste... pero como no te puede gustar Pablo Neruda? No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego: te amo como se aman ciertas cosas oscuras, secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma. Te amo como la planta

Happy Birthday, Mom

2012-02-01T05:18:00.000-07:00

Here are a bunch of pictures of my mom ... and us ... sort of in chronological order. These are all photos before I was part of my mom's world And then...here I am ... and we are all celebrating our birthdays together. With her latest pride and joy ... my mom loves babies... And one more with me to round it out ... oh, and my dad and little sis... It took me a long time to figure out how to

Sincerely...

2012-01-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

My friend, B, who reads this blog, often refers to long, heartfelt messages as sincere. I detect a mix of sarcasm with realism in the way she says it. She can opine in the comments if she feels I got it wrong. It strikes me every time I hear it ... I think about the meaning of the sincere message, and I wonder... how do others take sincerity ... is there anyway to be sincere without it being

i had a dream

2012-01-30T05:11:00.003-07:00

... in it I was seen, known, understood ... easily. I felt safe and loved and exalted... and then I woke up. For too long, I have been waiting for that dream to happen in waking time. That is to say, for someone to see me... and understand without judging. I know ... I have known ... that the critic that needs to pipe down is not outside me. And, yet... I still seek that outside affirmation

Fearless, part 26

2012-01-28T09:54:00.001-07:00

The part number changed in my head a bunch of times... technically I am not sure which number I am on between the journal, the blog, and my head. But this morning, I was reflecting with gentleness and compassion the number of times last week I had embodied fearless. As I told a friend last night, I have to guard against looking back with regret. I couldn't really do it last night- I just knew it

Perspective (again)

2012-01-27T06:45:00.002-07:00

I was walking to work yesterday when I saw the ROTC folks doing their morning run. Yesterday was pack and boots day. I could almost feel the weight of that pack and my feet ached for them stomping in those boots. I watched them pass as I waited to cross the street, and I heard a friend's voice in my ear, "you think you've got it hard..." He was a teacher at my high school, but he was never my

El jueves de la poesia (segunda parte)

2012-01-26T05:51:00.017-07:00

Cracking open the Pedro Salinas book to look for that last poem got me hooked (again). Over and over again, I think perhaps I should have been born in the 1930s... these guys (la generacion del 27) really speak to me. Before you know it, I will be trying to find my Lorca books, too. Yo no necesito tiempo para saber como eres: conocerse es el relampago. Quien te va a ti a conocer en lo que

You Must Read This ...

2012-01-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

...and anything else danah writes! I continue to be consistently blown away by danah's commentary. If you are not reading her posts, get on it! It makes me feel like someday I might join her as a researcher who does relevant and INTERESTING studies that carry equal weight in an academic setting and the real world. INTERESTING in all caps because although some think it is not a good word to

Puppets update...

2012-01-25T05:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to B. for sharing this with me... you need to listen to the words, it is a song, but it's really a story. I am not sure if this is what my life would like if it were put to puppets. I thoroughly enjoyed the show, but I still think that I might have nightmares about this mummy casanova. I probably should have saved this for Valentine's Day... but I couldn't not share it NOW.

Traction

2012-01-24T06:18:00.002-07:00

I wrote this on the train ... sometime before the new year. I just didn't get around to typing it up before the fearless hit prime time. Just to clue you in to the time line, so you don't think I'm too crazy. ----------- In my ear, the headphones, you know, I hear: "I'm on a train bound destiny..." Think she knows I am really on a train?? -------------- If I were going to rewrite the words to

Fearless

2012-01-23T05:41:00.013-07:00

[This is a work in progress...] Courage is a precious commodity. It wanes and ebbs like the sea ... well maybe not like the sea since it is not so predictable. I have spent time meditating on courage. Reading quotes. Trying to cultivate and encourage courageous actions and reactions. There is nothing wrong with that. But it hasn't fed the need to have a spirit within me that is acting in

forgot... had some articles to share

2012-01-20T11:50:00.000-07:00

This may be emblematic of my lack of patience. Forgot to add these two articles to the last post. I am going to withhold comment. You can probably figure out how I feel about this... Paula Deen. This one just made me laugh... puppet recreations on local news. If only I had any talent, I would do puppet recreations of my life for you. Happy Friday!

ugh

2012-01-20T11:27:00.000-07:00

So, I am still trying desperately to stay on schedule but not lose my mind. This is harder than one would think... Patience is a virtue, they say. Does that mean that I shouldn't feel bad if I don't have any? Or does that mean that I should feel that I lack virtue since I don't have any? Need: Patience... Any idea where I can get some??

El jueves de la poesia

2012-01-19T06:18:00.002-07:00

This is one of my all time favorites. I read it first on my Spanish sister's desk when I visited her in Barcelona in 1986. For her, it was homework, for me, it was gold... Perdoname por ir asi buscandote tan torpemente, dentro de ti. Perdoname el dolor, alguna vez, Es que quiero sacar de ti tu mejor tu. Ese que no te viste y que yo veo, nadador por tu fondo, preciosisimo. Y cogerlo y tenerlo

schedules, chaos and equanimity

2012-01-18T05:46:00.035-07:00

The universe knows what it's doing. But sometimes it just feels like I am always getting spanked. I made a schedule. I color coded it. I put in almost every thing I have to do ... including sleep. And this week, I tried to put it into action. It's funny because while I was working over the weekend, I talked about how crazy that schedule was. And the boot campers talked (when they weren't

I love Oakland...

2012-01-17T05:17:00.003-07:00

I am sure I have mentioned this before, but, just in case, I LOVE OAKLAND. Even my mother recognizes that of all the places I have lived in the world, Oakland is my favorite. It is the place I have felt more at home and like I fit. Hipsters or not. Love, love, love Oakland. So, when a friend sent me these two articles, with specific instructions, I followed them... Read this, first, she

Happy Birthday

2012-01-16T11:56:00.006-07:00

If Martin were among us today as a trusted elder, what would he say about what is happening in our world right now? --about the lingering war/military occupation in Iraq? --about the "austerity" measures aimed only at the most vulnerable of our society? --about treating humans as illegalities? We will never know because someone decided that he could choose for us. I wonder what it would be

DENIAL

2012-01-13T05:24:00.006-07:00

I am from southern California, coastal. I have to give the disclaimer. This is where I am from. It doesn't matter where I have lived or for how long I have lived there. My body was made near the coast in southern California. And, although it is adaptable, that is where it feels it should be, climate-speaking, all the time. I can put up with cold or hot for short periods of time, especially

Poetry Thursday ... facing down fear

2012-01-12T05:10:00.005-07:00

I am not sure if this really counts as poetry ... I guess, not in the conventional sense. But, it will do for this week. It is from one of my favorite people's blog. Go here to see the original with her adorable son. Don’t wait for the fear to go away before you start your dream. The only way to dissolve that fear is to begin your adventure. We have to act alongside our fears, in the face of