Battling My Beasts

Kristin's Battle

2011-11-21T09:22:00.001-08:00

On My Journey I've learned...

2011-11-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

On My Journey I've learned...

To celebrate the small wins as much as I do the big.

To remain teachable.

To offer myself the same forgiveness I offer others.

To own my talents and share my gifts.

To acknowledge my self worth, daily.

To remain humble.

To live in gratitude at all times.

To live from the end.

To count my blessings.

To say I love you freely.

To except love without hesitation.

To practice daily affirmations.

To believe in something larger than myself.

I've learned BELIEVING IS SEEING, and NOT the other way around.

These are just a few that came to mind...each day I add to my list. Today I honor those living with or without illnesses...we all are trying to find our voices on this journey. I dream of a day when

the cure has been brought to light. Until that day comes, I continue to flood by body with this nutrition and know that I am giving my body the fighting chance it deserves. Just 13 months ago I began my holistic wellness journey...I only wish I would have started sooner. I know I have realigned with my true spirit. I am worthy! I am whole & complete...and I am loved.

For those living with Chronic illness...there is hope. I have proudly made it my mission to share this hope, even with those who may not be ready to hear it yet. Because, I know it will help you. I know it can save your life too. Someone cared enough to stick with me until I tried it...and I am forever grateful. When we find something that works, it is our duty to share.

TO YOUR JOURNEY,

Mare

What's your name tag say?

2011-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00

For years I wore a name tag that said “Hello, I am Fibromyaglia & Sarcoidosis.” Like so many living with Fibro and Sarcoid, I fought for years for the Doctors to tell me what was wrong with me. The more I heard “There is nothing wrong with you, the tests don't show anything, you're fine, you look fine... bla bla bla” I began to believe I was crazy. I felt very alone. Was it all in my head? I wanted so badly for the Dr's to give it a name, then at least I would know how to deal with it. Years later a Doctor finally did. Guess what, I still didn't know how to deal with it or pronounce it.

So I packed my bags, put on my name tag, and headed into my cave called fear. I liked it there. It was dark and I didn't have to fight any more. I finally had a name tag with a title and I clung to it for dear life. Hell, I fought a long time to get it, I wasn't going to give it up that easily. It was more a “See, I told you something was wrong with me and I wasn't faking it!” Picture it...a grown 40 something year old woman...sticking out her tongue “I told ya so, I told you so!” Not pretty, right ? It was really kinda sad. I sat in my illnesses, I sat there allowing the pity and the poor Mare's to comfort me.

I hid behind my illness out of fear. I said “I'd do anything to feel better”. But each time someone tried to help...I stayed stuck in my fear. I remember sitting in my cave and thinking this was it. I lost all hope of a normal life. With anger boiling over, I yelled at my higher power “Really, This is it?” Then the day came when the fear became bigger than the illness and I'd had enough. Out from the cave I came “This is NOT what I was put on this earth for...there HAS to be something to learn, some kind of positive to come from this”. I changed my mindset and opened my heart. The first of many steps I took to reclaim my life!

Today, I am fearless and living my truth. Today, I'm helping others living with limitations, see their truth. I help them to embrace their power and gain control of their health and their life. I had to go through the loss and the struggles to appreciate this gift. I had to get past the fear to see just how amazing life truly is. Life is about connecting with your authentic self, standing in your brilliance, knowing YOU have the power to create the life you want, and above all else, being of service and sharing your gift. Want more for others, than yourself. You can't give away what you don't have.

Today I'm still wearing a name tag...but this time I replaced Fibro with FEARLESS, Sarcoid with SERENITY, Limited with LIMITLESS, and Handicapped with CAPABLE! Today I am a woman who stands in her brilliance. I am a woman inspired. I am a woman empowered. I am a woman who remains teachable. I am a woman of service. I am a woman FULL of gratitude. I am a woman who says “YES”. I wear my new name tags proudly as I go confidently in the direction of my dreams!

With love,

Mare

That 15% ....

2011-08-08T18:04:00.000-07:00

The voices in my head these days are 85% more positive than before. But man oh man, that other 15% is a loud screaming negative voice. I call her Nellie. Her full name is Negative Nellie. She isn't very supportive and lacks real people skills. She loves to dwell and bring up past mistakes. She's really good at crawling into the hard to reach places and setting up camp, if I let her. Just for kicks, she likes to turn on the old “self doubt” switch just see how far she can crawl under my skin.

When Nellie comes to visit she's a real bitch, kinda like Aunt Flo. I swear sometimes they tag team me. I've found that plugging into my favorite authors and motivational speakers really helps me take better control of the situation. Now, I hate to be rude, but life is too sweet to allow these voices in, even for a moment. I'm very grateful for my large Isa-Family for reminding me “there are no mistakes, just lessons”.

I admit I got a little cocky when I reached the 50 lbs mark. I celebrated a little too much and lost focus. I also said yes to Nellie & Flo too many times. I started to make bad choices. In came the shame and guilt followed by self loathing. I allowed the negative in and heard Nellie & Flo scream “you failed, you're not worthy, you can't do this, 50 lbs ?? you should be down 100 lbs by now”. This time I yelled back “ENOUGH , I AM HUMAN AND I AM LEARNING NEW BEHAVOIRS AND NEW COPING SKILLS”. That seemed to shut them up. I just needed to acknowledge, forgive, and release.

This is NOT a diet...it's a way of life. I'm going to participate in life and I'm going to celebrate. I just need to make better choices when it comes to the “how” so I can reach the goals I set for myself. I'm very proud of how far I've come and no matter what, I feel amazing! The is the best health I've been in in years. I celebrate the fact that today I didn't dive into a vat of ice cream after receiving another call from a bill collector. I celebrate the fact that today I can drive by “Fast Food Hill” and not white knuckle it anymore. I celebrate my daily triumphs because after all, triumph is just try with a little umph in it! I'm releasing a life time of bad habits and insecurities, one step at a time.

Today I changed the way I looked at things...and yepper you guessed it...the things I looked at changed!

I am strong and I am loud! Nellie & Flo, I'm in control !

Love and Light,

Mare

Cane Transformed Into Back Scratcher!

2011-08-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

If a healthy body is the guest room for the soul, a sick body is the prison. Chronic illness is like living in a personal prison. 8 years ago, I was diagnosed with two debilitating illnesses, which I saw as a life sentence with two horrific medical beasts that caused widespread pain. Stripped down and beaten, I
sat in solitary confinement disabled, bedridden, living in constant agony, and on most days, walked with a cane. These beasts took everything from me. Lifting my arms to wash my hair was a chore. Something as simple as a hug became devastatingly painful. Fearing the pain, I held my breath as someone came towards me with open arms. Soon I withdrew from family functions. My six medical specialists and pharmacists became my only friends. Isolated in my prison cell, I watched my life slip away.

I was unable to work or take care of my family. I raised my daughters from my bed. I spent days and nights covered in heating pads and ice packs. The medications made it impossible for me to function. My cognitive issues became so bad, I was unable to carry on conversations. Treatments compromised my immune system, keeping me from caring for my family. It was like being behind a prison wall, unable to reach them when they needed me most.

My beautiful guest room and the life I was meant to live was just beyond my reach. I wasn't ready to back down. The moment we give up and allow illnesses to define us, it's over. I've been planning my prison break for years, but I never had the right tools. Then came Isagenix, the blue print I needed, and I was finally able to break free.

Refocused, I began working on my new guest room. Demolition started October 10th, 2010 and I began repairing the foundation by taking charge of my body, my mind, and my spirit. During the first few days I released harmful toxins , and unwanted impurities. I gained perspective, self confidence, clarity, and endless amounts of energy. I became empowered and inspired.

Through cleansing and good nutrition, in less than a month, I was able to walk without my cane. I felt the inflammation leaving my body, the nodules were shrinking, my digestive system was normal again, my pain level decreased, I was functioning clean and clear, and I no longer ran from hugs.

It's been an amazing journey. I'm working full time for the first time in 4 yrs. February 20th, 2011, I was finally well enough to marry the love of my life, after 10 long years. My guest room make- over is coming along. I've lost 50 lbs/49.75 inches so far. Thanks to my wellness system I'll never go back to prison life. My daughters have their Mom back and Phil has the girl he fell in love with again. Now I only use my cane as a back scratcher! Believing is seeing, I've battled my beasts and won...so can you !! Just ask me how :)

Blessings,
Mare

Denial Of Denial....

2011-06-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

“This can be a difficult concept for many people to identify with in themselves, but is a major barrier to changing hurtful behaviors. Denial of denial involves thoughts, actions and behaviors which bolster confidence that nothing needs to be changed in one's personal behavior. This form of denial typically overlaps with all of the other forms of denial, but involves more self-delusion.” ~ wikipedia

I've taken an honest look at my PAST relationship with food and my self-delusion. I had a food addiction. I stopped using food to fuel my body, the way it was intended, and used it to cover painful wounds. I remember the moment I was told my Mom died, I reached for a frozen chocolate cream pie...scarfed it down in seconds..didn't even wait for it to thaw. The insanity is, I allowed this behavior to continue throughout my adult life as well.

I waitressed in my 20's. At the end of my shift, I would scarf down the daily specials before heading home. My routine was to bring a burger home for my husband and a salad for me..this way in his eyes I was being good. INSANE right ? At birthday parties, when they'd pass out pieces of cake, I'd ask for the smallest piece. Sound familiar ? Sure, to everyone else Mare was being so good with just a tiny sliver of cake. , Little did they know I mapped out my route home...directly to Mc Donalds. Insanity! When I took an office job, I volunteered to bring in donuts every Friday. Now was I being generous? Hell no! It was all about the free donut holes, and how many I could shove down my throat before getting to the office.

Today, because of my Isa-Way of life, I have a healthy relationship with real food. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, once I got out of my way. I am able to truly appreciate the gift of wellness, for the first time EVER ! I'm honest now about what and how I eat. I do not go without, I do not starve, I do not DIET! I fuel my body, mind, and soul. I know, with this program, all things are possible. I'm an Isa-Lifer !!

Peace and blessing,

Mare

Clean Your Plate !

2011-05-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

Sitting at the dinner table my well meaning Father said “You have such a pretty face, if only you'd lose the weight”. This was something I heard daily from the time I was 13 years old, until I moved out on my own at 16. At the same time “Clean your plate” was a common phrase used at our dinner table. I bet you heard it too. Man, those poor starving kids in _______ (fill in the blanks). These were confusing messages. Clean my plate, but lose weight...how the hell was that ever going to happen?? My Mom and Step Mom always stayed thin, while my Dad and I struggled with weight. They thought if they fed me like a bird and controlled what I ate, I'd melt away right in front of their eyes. WRONG !! That just taught me to hide food in my room and binge. Later in life, a man I was with said “Are you sure you wanna eat that?” With a smile on my face I calmly turned to him and said “ Uh...you sure you want to say that to me, while I'm holding this knife in my hand?” Silly fool....needless to say we parted ways.

We celebrate with food, we're bribed with food, and we develop a love/hate relationship with food, all before we reach puberty. I've tried hiding behind “fat & happy”. I've tried to hide behind “I'm curvy”. Hell, in my 40's I was still using “this is baby fat”. Come one, really Marianne ??!! My weight gain was all me, I did that, there was no one else to blame. Sure, I had good reasons to run to food, or at least I thought they were good. But I have even better reasons now to just walk away. No more running to or from food for me. It's all about living!! For the first time in my life, I'm in control. I celebrate the woman I am today, not with junk food, but with nutrition. Some days are easier than others, but it's progress not perfection.

Recently, I've learned valuable lessons about this wellness program. My brain, my body, and my life does not function without it. I missed 6 days of nutrition, due to my order being lost in transit. I was a walking glob of Jello. I couldn't focus, I spoke inside out, I could hardly read, words were getting jumbled, I couldn't sleep, and I was having aches and pains again. Boy was I cranky too! The second my package arrived, I went into full wellness mode. In about 2 days I started feeling like my well self again.

My intention is to be a living, breathing, authentic role model for my daughters. I want to teach people about this product, and bring this amazing gift to light. I want to bring my Fibromyaliga friends, my Sarcoid friends and my Isafamily together...and allow the sharing to begin. Together we can heal. Together we are stronger. Wellness is something we were born with, it's time to get it back! Claim your wellness, fight for it. Know that you deserve to feel better and live a truly healthy life. If I can do this, trust me, ANYONE CAN!! Let go and let it in. Believe! It just takes one step...one foot in front of the other..YOU CAN DO IT!!

Love & blessings...

Mare

I'll Never Forget....

2011-05-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Little Fat Girl Inside,

I honor you with love and light. I see who you really are, and I cherish you. Without you, I wouldn't be where I am today. Today, I am giving you permission to pack your things and move on. Our relationship has run it's course. We've been through a lot together. You came to me when I was 15 and Motherless. You stayed with me through the abuse, through the divorce, through countless heartaches and through illness. You were there for me when I felt hopeless alone, thank you. I know I can do this on my own now, no matter what life brings my way.

You'll be happy to know I'm no longer alone. I have this amazing support system in place, I am able to connected with like minded people of all ages, and together we are changing the way we look at our health. I am allowing wellness into my life...and it feels great. I'm empowered and stronger then ever. I know, I know, you're wondering about my LOVE of chocolate, right? Well I've got it covered. You see, with my new way of living, I get to eat chocolate everyday...awesome eh? You know how much pain I was in before, and how ill I used to be. That was then, and now is WOW! I am really living my purpose.

I don't want you to feel replaced, but released. I am letting you go Little Fat Girl, with love. I will never forget where I cam from.

With love and gratitude,

The New Mare

Change Is Beautiful

2011-05-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

I'm a very proud Dyer Do'er. I admire Dr. Wayne Dyer, well that may be putting it lightly, I LOVE this man with ever single fiber of my being!! He is a gift, an amazing paternal presence, and true blessing in my life. I am profoundly grateful to have him as my teacher. He is a loving guide and without knowing it, he has held my hand through major transitions in my life. I owe him everything.

I've been listening to Dr Dyer's CD's on my way into work, it's a great cure for road rage. This morning I was listening to the final chapter in Excuses Begone, a MUST read. He said “We don't attract what we desire, we attract what we are.” Now come on...how much easier can it get, really?! Ever notice when you're in a funk..the whole words in a funk. Or if you're rushing around in a panic...nothing seems to go right. “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”, another Dyer quote I live by.

He's taught me about raising my vibration to a higher place of love and light, and connecting to my higher power. The past few days I've allowed myself to slip back into old thinking habits. My husband was laid off from his job of 6 years, and we lost a very large chunk of income. Panic set in for a moment, and I suddenly wanted to dive into a huge bowl of Ben & Jerry's and a Keylime pie.

The shock wore off, and I was able to turn on my inner Dyer. I reminded myself “with God all things are possible”. You don't have to believe in God to believe in your highest self. Call it what ever you want. When I get centered, and affirm that we have everything we need right in front of us, and we only need to do the foot work, the panic disappears. So does the need to self medicate with food.

It's no accident that Dr. Dyer came into my life around the same time as my wellness coach Mindy. She too is a Dyer Do'er. She is on a wellness mission, and I am proud to be part of it. Together we are sharing this wellness system and hope with others living with limitations. When I am able to share my story and show others the transformation happening in my life...my love & light vibration level soars through the roof. It reaffirms my purpose in life. This product, my coach, and my teacher Dr. Dyer are all part of the universes master plan. I am excited to see how the rest of the plan unfolds...stay tuned. Life is beautiful!

Blessings, love and light,

Mare

“There is a voice in the Universe urging us to remember our purpose for being on this great Earth. This is the voice of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us”. Dr. Wayne Dyer

If You Say So

2011-05-05T17:39:00.000-07:00

It's been a few months since my last entry....and this times it's NOT due to health problems...nope, it's due to my WELLNESS!! I'm feeling fantastic and I'm out there living life!!! Close to 7 months ago I started this wellness journey with high expectations, both with the product and with myself. I didn't believe I'd make it this far. My pattern was starting something, and never following through. Listing the many excuses as to WHY I CAN'T. After all, I've been sick for far too long, this was never going work long term. I gained a clue, and lost weight, inches, and inflammation!

This gift has opened my eyes to the endless possibilities in life, there is NOTHING I can't do. This is NOT a diet...I love saying that!! A friend asked me “So, hows the diet going?” I smiled and said “I don't diet...I don't do anything with the word DIE in it. I just aligned myself to my wellness path. I'm living now”. It's really that simple. I live my life..moment by moment. I enjoy food, but this time in a much healthier way. I'm no longer looking for food to comfort pain..both emotional and physical.

Today I don't have a problem keeping up, “they” have a problem keeping up with me. I fuel my body with the best nutrition on the planet, and I've given this body a new lease on life. To think I almost fell into the “can't afford it” sink hole...oh boy what a sad excuse that is. Nope, I believe spending my hard earned money on nutrition rather then giving away to the drug companies is the best investment I could ever make. I believe in I am worth the investment...I believe, therefore I see.

I'm free to live an abundant life, the life I deserve. A life of wellness, peace, and joy. We can only give away what we have. You are what you think. Now, when someone tells me “I can't afford it” I say with love in my heart “If you say so”. Because it's out there if you want it bad enough, you just have to realign your way of thinking. If you believe you're going to have a fantastic day full of abundance or you believe you're going to have a rotten day full of failure...you're right!

Make this life count...be present in the gift. You deserve it.

Blessings,

Mare

LOVE LOVE LOVE...it's crazy LOVE!

2011-02-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

These days I seem to busy then ever..and I LOVE IT! My spirit is alive, my mind is functioning again, clean and clear. I'm keeping up with the demand,

hallelujah ! I'm being of service, and doing what I love. That's what life is really all about. When we do what we love, our love light shines. I visualize my love light to be a warm and fuzzy lighthouse, shining through the fog, bringing more love energy my way. I can only give away, what I have to give.

One of the main reasons my love light shines so bright I suppose, is because I'm about to marry my best friend, my hero, the love of my life, my lobster Phil. It's a known fact, that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, holding claws. They search a lifetime for each other, and even the rough sea can't keep them apart. Well, I searched high and low for my lobster, and after many many guppies and sharks swam my way, I finally found my Phil, my handsome lobster. I've been in love with him ever since our first date. I sincerely don't know how, but I love him even more today.

We've planned this wedding many times over the past 10 years. This one by far is the simplest one yet...it's perfect. Eloping with family and friends at the spot where Phil proposed is a perfect way to start our next chapter. My oldest daughter Katelyn became ordained, just to perform the wedding. My youngest will be standing by our side as well. This is truly a special time for my family..I'm bursting at the seams.

Phil securely holds my hand, has my back at all times, and is keeper of my heart. He encourages me to push myself past my fear with each new challenge. When I started my wellness program, fearful I would fail, he said “You can borrow my belief in you, until you believe in yourself”. He has witnessed my transformation first hand. He was there as I struggled with chronic illness and chronic pain, and at my largest weight ever. He truly didn't care what size I was and always made me felt beautiful. But, as he watched my love light dim, he felt helpless and scared. He started to lose the girl he fell in love with, and we began falling apart. Still, he kept close to my side. Even as I pushed him away, thinking it was for his own good. I'm so grateful he never gave up.

Isagenix has given us of happy healthy future. I've received more blessings using this gift, then I ever thought possible. I am PAIN MEDICATION FREE!!! I'm an active participant in life, I'm forming new lasting friendships through this company, and I'm inspired every day to continue my journey. I'm absolutely 100% positive it's because of Isagenix that I'm feeling this good. I ran out of the product last week, and I began to feel run down. I could feel the aches and pains creeping in. Brain fog starting to settle and I just felt off. The moment my order came, and I jumped back into my routine, everything cleared right up. There is NOTHING else out there, that has helped me get my “health on” like Isagenix.

Do what it takes to shine bright and truly live this amazing life you've been given. Allow the gift, keep an open mind. Believing is seeing.

I wish you love, I wish you peace, I wish you joy.

Blessings as always,

Mare.

Funding your excuses.

2011-01-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

For me, going beyond my form meant getting out of MY way. I look back at the list of excuses I allowed myself to hide behind for years, and cringe. Growing up with learned behavior is one thing, but being a grownup, and allowing those same behaviors to define our adult life..well thats just sick. I for one, was sick of being sick and tired.

I'm baffled when I hear intelligent people come up with lame excuses, rationalizing their way back into their ruts. When I hear “I can't afford it” I can't help but laugh. Trust me, I said the same thing. But, then I opened my eyes and realized I it was simply about redirecting my monthly food funds. I was one of those that said “It's cheaper to eat off the dollar menu.” So NOT true.

Try this little exercise. Take last months bank statement, or even the last two months, and highlight the dollar amount for each trip you made to a fast food joint or restaurant in bright yellow. Write the total month or months on the top of your bank statement. Be sure to highlight that total as well. Hell, just for giggles, do the same for your trips to the market. This was a real eye opener for me.

When I made the decision to redirect my money, I redirected my life! I was putting money back into my pocket book, and not funding my excuses. I was saving money on prescriptions for the first time in 8 years. I began to crawl out from under the mountain of medical bills. I could breath again.

Sure, you can use the excuses “I can't afford it” or “I just don't have the funds, right now” I don't need them anymore. But, know this my friends, if you took the money you spend on your daily coffee or soda, or on your dollar menu, and invested that in YOU, we're talking a little more the 2 bucks a meal, you could truly transform your life in more ways then you ever thought possible. You could even add to your income stream, without leaving your current job if you wanted too. The possibilites are endless!!

If you want it bad enough, you will find a way. I believe in you...and I'm here to help when you are ready.

Blessings,

Mare

Transformation literally means going beyond your form ~ Wayne Dyer

A Life of Purpose and Dreams

2011-01-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

Why is it, when we were kids, we knew what we wanted to be when we grew up, but then as grownups, we lose site of that dream. I think it's a crime for people, places, or things to stand in the way of our dreams. It's a life sentence in solitary confinement, when we're the ones standing in our own way. It may have been a well meaning parent, or family member, following in their parents foot steps. Trying to guide us with tough love. Telling us our dreams were just that, dreams. Believing you only get somewhere in life through hard work and sacrifice. Trying to project their fear based reality on us.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a rock star. Who didn't? I was the lead singer in a band during High School. But, after hearing “You need to get a real job, you'll never make it as a singer” I let that dream go. I knew I was creative, and I wanted to do something in the arts, but all I ever heard was “It takes a nine to five job, real hard work, long hours....”. You know the rest. I'm sure you've all heard that at some point in your life. It was about a title, and how much I made, not whether or not I was happy or fulfilled. I wanted to be a writer. My 11^th Grade English teacher told me “You can't spell, you'll never be a writer”. So, once again I walked away from another dream.

Becoming a Mom was a dream I was never going to walk away from. Even when I heard “You have to married first”. Nope....that wasn't my intention at that moment. It was all about having a baby. Two years later, my dream came true. Then again 6 years later, another dream came to life. I was meant to be a Mom, and I was blessed with 2 amazing daughters. My girls are my inspiration. I do everything in my power to encourage them to follow their dreams. To take risks, to take chances, to live THEIR life, and to love what they do. To FEAR NOTHING! At a very young age, Katie wanted to grow up to be a Veterinarian . She now attends a Vet Tech Program in college. Sarah wants to be a Photographer, and she's doing it too! She plans on furthering her career after high school. Both my girls are doing what THEY wanted! I pray they never ever lose sight of their dreams. They are talented women, and I know they are destined for great things.

So, isn't it our turn? Don't we deserve to live our dream, to love what we do, to live our purpose? I say HELL YES IT'S OUR TURN!! So what are we waiting for? What are you allowing to stand in your way? People, places and things have no power over us. No matter what we've been told. We are ALL destined for great things! It's time we stood up for the child inside us, and allowed the dreams to come forward. If we dream it, it will come!

Knowing our thoughts create our destiny, why would you ever want to listen to the negative voices, others or your own. The joyful people I know today, surround themselves in positive light. They live their dreams, they live each day with purpose. The negative people I know, work 9-5 in jobs they hate, with people they hate, and begin to hate themselves. JUST STOP IT! If working 9-5 is what fires you up, then embrace it. Love it! But if you find yourself sitting in solitary confinement, it's time to reach for the key my friend. We are not promised tomorrow, don't waist another second in your personal prison.

Parents, lets empower our kids. Show them it's a beautiful thing to dream, and if they build it, it will come. Encourage them to fear nothing, and to believe in themselves.

For me, I'm putting my money where my mouth is...I'm moving forward with my writing dream. Can't wait to send my first book to my 11^th Grade English teacher. It's never too late!

Blessing,

Mare

Because I said So

2011-01-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!

It's going to be a very Happy Year, because I said so. I never liked hearing my parents say “because I said so”, it had a threating vibe. So I tweaked it a bit, to fit my needs. My “because I said so” has a positive vibe. It comes from my faith and knowing the universe is on my side. It has been all along, I just finally clued in. Believing is seeing, I am living proof of that.

No matter what life brings my way in 2011, I choose to live through it..not hide from it. Feeling brave, confident, unstoppable, and inspired. This is a far cry from how I felt in 2010. I wasted so much time waiting for something or someone to sweep up my mess. I played the woulda coulda shoulda game, hell I mastered it. Believing I would never feel better, I was unworthy, ...blah blah blah. I hosted many pity parties in 2010.

Today I host a daily gratitude party. My gratitude list is written before my feet hit the ground. I remain open and willing. I live with intention, and with purpose. There is no room for negative in my life, I won't allow it. I took the first step, and I changed my thought process. Everything came together effortlessly, after that. Knowing that my intentions creates my reality, I continue to surround myself with like minded people. I connect to those who want more for others, people who want the greater good for every person on this planet, no matter their size or color. It's never crowded along the extra mile.

Loving people live in a loving world. Hostile people live in a hostile world. Same world.

~ Dr. Wayne Dyer.

I choose love!

Blessings,

Mare

Moving beyond my own limitations.... physically and mentally.

2010-12-16T11:27:00.001-08:00

I refused to own my diseases, they were not going to control me anymore. Ok, so there is no cure for now, but that doesn't mean that's the end of my story. My story is far from over. It's never too late to change the way you look at things. I believed, and now I see.

I became humble, got on my knees, and I begged the universe to show me a better way to live. As always, my higher power blessed me with gifts beyond my wildest imagination. Today, I am no longer under the dark ominous clouds I created, I'm facing the sun and allowing the gifts! I am, for the first time in three years, going back to work. I am able to focus, my motor skills have improved, and my pain is no longer keeping me bedridden. I'm back baby!!

It's been a little more then 2 months, and this phenomenal nutrition and cleansing system has given me much more than just weight loss, and symptom relief. It's given me back my youth, vitality, passion, and my joy. It's given me back the ability to function in the world again. I'm living proof, you don't have to stay in neutral, and just coast through life. You can take hold of the wheel, and change the direction your life is headed. If I can do it, anyone can do it.

“Anything you really want, you can attain, if you really go after it. Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.” ~Wayne Dyer

Make 2011 the year you rewrite your story.

Blessings,

Mare

My Journey in 30 days

2010-11-11T10:41:00.000-08:00

In the first 30 days of my 90 day program I....

Released 26 lbs, 21.75 inches, and went down 2 pant/shirt sizes!!
Gained self respect and motivation to live a healthy life style.
Stuck to a 1,000 - 1,200 cal day, no butter, very high protein (not chicken, it can cause inflammation) organic eggs, fruit, and veggies, no coffee, tea, soda, or alcohol.
I cleansed twice a week , and enjoyed it!
Drank 5,270 ounces of water (more then a gallon a day)
Began a work out program, 4 days a week, plus walking on weekends with my family.
Became aware! Aware of the excuses and how I justified my unhealthy life style.
Became an inspiration to my daughters through my actions.

I am proud of who I am, and what I've accomplished. I owned my childhood baggage, and all the reasons I kept the weight on, for far too long. Food was not my enemy, I was. I am also winning my battle over my medical beasts! I'm thrilled I only see my Pharmacist once a month now, I'm down to only for 1 prescription!! Pain and inflammation levels are getting lower every day. My heart is full of gratitude and love. Gods given me the tools, I'm doing the work. I believe!!

Blessings,

Mare

Memo to Beasts

2010-11-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Attention Sarcoidosis, Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, and the rest of you tag alongs,

I see you all as the Beasts I must battle during my life on Medical Mountain. How I decide to take this journey however, is completely up to me. You do not have control of my life anymore. I call the shots now. I hear you loud and clear, trust me. If need be I'll fake it, till I make it. When you're not looking, I may flip you the bird from time to time. But, here is where I try to see the hidden blessings. Because of you, I have learned to put myself first, set boundaries, pick my battles, meditate, pray, and to be grateful. As of today, you all will be taking a mandatory leave of absence. I will find my happy place...and I pray that you find yours. My body has hosted your toxic destruction for far too long, you have worn out your welcome here. I've called in reinforcements, and I am armed with proper nutrition, clarity, cleansing, and all the tools for optimal health. You are soooo outta here!!

Don't let the door hit you in the ass!

Mare

Caution, Slippery Slopes ahead.

2010-11-04T14:13:00.000-07:00

I walked acrossed the slippery slope, even though I knew it was wrong. As I reached into the Halloween candy, I began rationalizing my move “I can handle it. I've lost 20 lbs. Hell, I deserve one”. I wasted no time, I inhaled that candy bar like a pro. I'm not 100% sure I removed the wrapper, to tell ys the truth. Yes, It was THAT bad! That was it, I failed again. The worse part was I wasn't craving it, it was just there. Let the negative self talk begin...and boy did it.

The following morning I started my day clear headed, but sick as hell. I thought “I've done it now. I'm going to explode or something right? Ok God, I get it, message received.” As things began returning to normal, I became profoundly aware of just how much my body has transformed, both inside and out. My body wanted nothing to do with that little snack size candy bar, and it was going to make sure I knew that. The negative voices in my head on the other hand, thats my daily struggle.

My environment is stronger then my will power. My stinkin thinkin got me to this chapter in my life, and I believe it's best if I just follow the path placed in front of me, and stop trying to control everything. I need to get out of my way, and allow the gift to work. It doesn't take long for the negative voices to start in, and try to convince us we're not worth it, or we don't deserve to be happy and healthy. Then we react and make a B-line towards the slippery slopes. Instead of reacting, lets respond. Let's tell the negative voices “WE CAN DO THIS! Yes, are worth it. There's no cheating, it's a LIFE STYLE CHANGE! We can start over, WE CAN'T FAIL!”

With my Wellness program in place, my family's encouragement, my health angel Mindy by my side, and feeling the benefits each day, as I get better and better....I am able to face my Medical Beasts head on. On the days I don't feel strong enough, and find it hard to believe in myself, I draw on the belief they have in me. I read the encouragement letters they've placed in my Transformation Folder, and I journal like a mad woman.

Reaching out to others is NOT a sign a weakness. It's a sign of courage. If you are in need of a friend...you've got the tools right in front of you. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Blessings,

Mare

Believing is Seeing!

2010-10-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

In just a few days........

I released harmful toxins
I released unwanted impurities
I released painful inflammation
I gained perspective
I gained self confidence
I gained clarity
I gained endless amounts of energy
I became empowered
I became inspired
I cleansed my body on a cellular level
I live clean and lean
I LOST 10 lbs in 5DAYS! The Healthy way, and yes with REAL FOOD & CHOCOLATE!

I took charge of my body, my health, and my spirit. I stopped listening to the nay sayers. I stopped doubting. I asked for guidance so many times, and each time it was given to me, I ignored it. It was all about fear. I was afraid to fail, I was afraid of more pain, and more disappointments.

It's only been a few days, and I FEEL AWESOME! I haven't had this much energy in years. 8 long years to be exact. I've actually gone walking longer then 10 minutes without my cane. I can feel the inflammation leaving my body. My nodules are shrinking!! My digestive system is normal again. My pain level went from 10+ to a 6. I am functioning clean and clear. My memory and my mood have improved tremendously. I made it though PMS with out Foster's Freeze Ice cream!! The Nutritionist said “Wait till you hit 90 day's, you're going to feel even better”. This AMAZING organic product and my loving coach Mindy, have changed my life. I see each challenge as an opportunity to change the way I look at thing.

When people say “I'd do anything to get my life back” what action have they taken and did they follow through ? I made excuse after excuse, keeping myself in the same rut for years. Here are just a few excuses I made, see if they sound familiar:

#1 Organic is too expensive. (wrong)
#2 It's a liquid program, I'll gain all the weight back. (wrong...you eat real food!)

#3 I can't afford it. (I can't afford not to, my health is priceless)

#4 I don't have time. (If I have time to blog, I have time)

#5 I love chocolate, I'm never giving that up! ( Don't have too, I eat chocolate anytime I want)

#6 I'm too sick and in too much pain, this will never work. (IT WORKS!)

This is just the beginning for me and it can be for you too. “Excuses begone” a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer and “Heal Your Life” by Louise Hays are both powerful tools to add to your collection. Today, I have the power to change the direction of my life and my health. I'm doing it...BELIEVING IS SEEING!!! If you're interested in feeling better and making positive changes in your life, then take the first step by asking me how I'm doing it. I'm more then happy to share.

Many blessings,

Mare

Our Prison

2010-10-08T14:25:00.001-07:00

“ A healthy body is the quest room for the soul, a sick body is the prison” ~ Francis Bacon

I've been planning my prison break for years, but never had the proper tools. Once I changed the way I looked at things, the correct tools and blue print I needed, where placed in my path. I was able to break free.

Refocused, I began working on my guest room. Demolition started last week. I began repairing the foundation yesterday. Today my guest room make-over begins. I will never go back to prison life, starting this morning, I took back my health.

For so many people living with chronic illness, it's like living in prison. Your illness takes over the body, and the soul loses hope. But I'm not ready to back down. I refuse to except this is all there is.

I've put my new wellness plan into action. If not now, then when? I will win this battle, one step at a time. Each morning, before we place our feet on the floor, we're given the gift of a clean slate. A chance to change the way we look at things.

I am grateful for my sponsor Mindy and the amazing product she has brought into my life. Both are gifts I will treasure forever. Thank you for showing me how to keep my guest room clean.

Many blessings to all,

Mare

Finding The Positive in The Negative

2010-09-29T17:46:00.000-07:00

Do you notice your energy draining just by being around Negative Nelly or Debbie Downer ? Having a rude nurse, a hostel waiter. What about the road hogs...now that's a whole lot of negative, right? Now don't get me wrong, I know we all have bad days, it's part of life. People living with Chronic illness always got a free pass in my book. But then I noticed by allowing the negative in, I had no room for positive. You can't have real joy and anger at the same time, try it...it doesn't work.

For me, I have to walk the walk. I needed to take myself out of toxic relationships in order to allow joy back into my life. That was the easy part. Finding out I too was a Debbie Downer, and I could blame others...well that just didn't add up. Sadly, as much as I wanted to fool myself I couldn't. It was then I decided I had to make a real honest effort at change, I wanted to be a better role model for my girls. I felt if not now, then when?

Dad always said “Crap or get off the pot”. As sweet as that statement was, I decided to put a more motivational spin on it. I left my self notes in various places. “Lets do this Mare”,

“You got this Mare”, “No, you are NOT lazy Mare”, and “You are LOVED”. I love the serenity prayer “God grant me the serenity to except the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. I just love that ! Some times I add a line, “except _________ I can not change”. It helps.

Having Chronic illness does not mean I need to be chronically crabby. I allow my self time to vent via my journal, or calling a loved one. No matter what I follow it up with “Whats the silver lining, whats the lesson”? This keeps me sane. I won't let the beasts dictate my outlook any more. How I choose to deal with things effects everyone around me. Mom always said “Count to 10”. My serenity prayer is my “counting to 10”.

So, if you're having a downer day, a manic moment, or your beasts are behaving badly, give yourself a break, we all do. We just don't need to bring the rest of the planet down with us. Find your joy..and hang on to it for dear life :) It's all one day at a time....and that works for me.

“ Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice” ~ Wayne Dyer.

It's good to be back !

2010-09-28T18:16:00.000-07:00

Feel's like forever since I've written. Thats what happens when you battle the beasts, right? Paying to much attention to the Fibro, and then Sarcoid throws a fit. I imagine it's like having twins. For me, the squeaky beast gets the most attention. They both run me into the ground...if I let them. I get overwhelmed at times.

We've set up a "NO BEAST" zone at the dinner table. That's our sacred family time...no phone calls, no beasts. My Hubby2B and I have date night...and I don't allow Fibro or Sarcoid to join us. It's vital to have time to honor your whole self, the real you, the healthy you! I know it's hard to think of ourselves as healthy when we deal with chronic illness, but we can't let our medical beasts win. They don't own us. The moment we give up ownership and allow the illness to define us, it's over.

I am a Woman, a Mother, a Wife2B, a Sister, a Daughter, and an Aunt who lives with Sarcoidosis, Fibromyalgia, and Chronic Pain. This is my journey...and I will never surrender.

"Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change" ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer.