A Gaysian Blog for Gay Asians

If you feel like supporting something local...here you go!

2015-09-15T18:36:00.000-07:00

We are down to the last 2 days of our Indiegogo campaign to help fund the development of a new queer space that is visibly located in the heart of Downtown Oakland. We are very passionate about Qulture Collective and our vision to create a self-sustainable, LGBTQIA+ creative space.

To get it off the ground we need your help to raise as much funding as we can before the campaign concludes. Please take some time to donate and share.

Thank you for your continued support. We appreciate you.

Our Indiegogo page - https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/qulture-collective/

Here are some links to find more information about our cause:

EBX - http://www.eastbayexpress.com/oakland/qulture-collective-a-downtown-hub-for-oakland-queers/Content?oid=4472148

Bay Area Reporter - http://www.ebar.com/news/article.php?sec=news&article=70830

Lesbian.com - http://www.lesbian.com/qulture-collective-creates-safe-space-for-queer-creatives/

Sound bite from KPOO radio (listen in at 14:00) - http://chirb.it/d8ha58

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/qulture-collective/

Eat With Me

2015-08-09T20:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Gaysians.

You gotta watch "Eat with Me" on Netflix. Basically, an Asian mom finds out her son is gay. Then what? Well, it's quite fun to watch how she deals with it in modern day society, and who she meets to help her along.

Good news is, this movie is in English :) No subtitles needed this time.

Quite a cute movie Eat with Me Trailer

What are YOUR thoughts on the movie?

Dating Apps

2015-07-17T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys & Gals,

Sorry I've been MIA - busy with work and life and class. So what I want to talk about today is, how do you meet people after college?

Everybody has heard of Tindr, and okcupid, but what about apps like "The L"? Is there a better method to meet someone organically? Sure you can visit the local gay/lesbian/bi club, but how are you suppose to have meaningful connections when you can't hear each other over the loud music? (not to mention over-priced drinks and sweaty drunk people bumping into you).

I honestly do not have any good ideas either other than exhausting your network of friends and getting introduced to someone. I have thought about the idea of open-minded parents setting you up with a potential date, but they would have to be extremely open minded asian parents to do something like that for you. This is where I envy Indian cultures and their match-making marriages. Can I opt for that please?

Throw your idea out there and perhaps your suggestion will help someone else find a meaningful and worthwhile date. We'd love to hear from you :)

Greywater Recycling Systems, Inc

2015-07-14T00:18:00.000-07:00

California's drought is getting worse. 3rd year in drought mode - mandatory water conservation throughout the state (>25%), and unfortunately no rain clouds in site.

This post is not directly related to gaysians, but I thought this find was too good not to share. Here's a solution for every household to save $$$ money on their increasing water bills, save water of course, and feel proud in being part of the solution:

http://greywaterrecyclingsystems.com

I can't wait to install one in my home - and I'd want everyone in the gaysian community to benefit from this unique technology and be pioneers in the next big movement: WATER CONSERVATION

Please join me in making our earth a more green and sustainable environment.

What would you like to read about?

2014-12-11T00:53:00.001-08:00

Send in your requests on any particular topic and I'll try my best to fulfill them. Leave a comment or send me a message :) Thanks for reading!

Wedding Attire = Anxiety

2014-10-30T23:28:00.004-07:00

kipper clotheirs tie offered on kickstarter campaign Greyscale Goods

Ok....so I just found this kickstarter campaign called GREYSCALE GOODS with 24 hours left. Great news is that they're already funded, however, this androgynous clothing line started by a woman in Los Angeles and caters to the androgynous female clientele is trying to start a business JUST FOR US!! check it out and support them! I can't wait to see what else they come up with next!

whoa....http://www.dapperq.com/2014/10/personalized-androgynous-clothing-could-be-waiting-on-your-doorstep-if-greyscale-goods-is-backed-on-kickstarter/

AND if you feel like helping out more or just spreading the word...they have a little 5 min survey (only took me 2 min) to help them better their products toward US!
http://bit.ly/1r1uEbG

kipper clothiers

and for WEDDING ATTIRE related clothing...try these sites :) good luck!

for that tailored fit..... http://www.kipperclothiers.biz/ ....for women (and men) who exclusively wear men's clothes :) yay! and wait what? wedding attire advice? No way!

Oh yea..and since Ellen Degeneres has a great sense of style...
http://www.pinterest.com/ellentv/ellens-style/

George Takei

2014-10-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Did you know....
.........................George Takei is coming out ... with his own movie?!
It's called "To Be Takei"

If you are interested in Gaysians in the media, he is an out gaysian celebrity and has been for quite some time. It gives the next generation of gaysians hope of finding someone to grow old with, as he has done. He's also got a great sense of humor too! For example...

Twitter post

amusing.
Other Gaysian celebrities, courtesy of a google search 'gay asian celebrities':
http://www.ranker.com/list/list-of-gay-asian-celebrities/celebrity-lists?format=SLIDESHOW&page=8

list of 54:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jr-tungol/lgbt-asians_b_2026330.html

Ted Video:
George Takei, Why I love a country that once betrayed me

Fifty Shades of Gay

2014-09-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

This was a very touching, inspiring and passionate video. Thanks TEDxWomen!

TEDxWomen invites iO Tillett Wright to speak about "fifty shades of gay"
http://www.ted.com/talks/io_tillett_wright_fifty_shades_of_gay

{Artist iO Tillett Wright has photographed 2,000 people who consider themselves somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum and asked many of them: Can you assign a percentage to how gay or straight you are? Most people, it turns out, consider themselves to exist in the gray areas of sexuality, not 100% gay or straight. Which presents a real problem when it comes to discrimination: Where do you draw the line? (Filmed at TEDxWomen.)}

http://video-subtitle.tedcdn.com/talk/podcast/2012X/None/iOTillettWright_2012X-480p-zh-cn.mp4 {simplified Chinese subtitles}

The yellow equal sign

2014-09-11T13:36:00.001-07:00

The Human Rights Campaign

I don't really know what they do, but I see the bumper stickers, T-shirts, etc... everywhere, especially around the city of San Francisco. [http://www.hrc.org/] However, I do like this back to school twitter post they have about how to confront the "That's so Gay!" phrase among students:

https://twitter.com/HRC/status/510129561099857921/photo/1

Try it out and leave a comment on how it went :)

Supreme Court rules Gay Marriage Legal!

2013-06-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

What wonderful news! And yes it's about time!

Gay marriages resume in California after five-year hiatus
click link above

Today's newest headlines are in! Instead of waiting 25 days for there to be objections to the supreme court ruling, the court decided to shorten that window to only 2 days (the deadline being this evening)! As a result, many couples have already lined up to register and say their marriage vows. I don't know about your hometown, but San Francisco is already in celebration! It's also a coincidence that this weekend is Pride weekend! Can you imagine being in the castro with an expected 1.5 million people?!?!?!

Here's another article from New York Times explaining more about the same-sex marriage rulings:

NYT: Supreme Court Bolsters Gay Marriage With Two Major Rulings

click link above

It's a great week for all Americans today because it's a celebration of another stride towards true equality. Way to go USA!

Scammers 405-445-4841

2013-06-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hey Readers,

I just have to warn you all - DO NOT pick up from this number 405-445-4841. Spam.

Unfortunately, after a quick google search I find out this number is coming out of Oklahoma. And although I am already registered on the national Do Not Call List (http://www.donotcall.gov) I still got a scam call from this number. Here's the deal.

A man replies with a very surprised tone when I answered the call :

"... Hello! Yes, I am calling about an online survey you filled out regarding employment opportunities in your area. Are you interested?"

"Um, which online survey?" <-- I don't recall filling out ANY.

"I'm just calling to see if you are interested in employment opportunities. Are you currently employed?"

"Which company is this?"

"I'm just trying to offer you job opportunities in your area, that's all. Is that okay with you?" <-- Whoaaaa, all of a sudden so defensive! He must have gotten this reaction often from callers he tried to scam prior to calling me.

"..Um, sure."

"Okay great! Are you currently employed? What year did you graduate high school? What is your highest educational background?" <-- Wait a minute..if i filled out an online survey, shouldn't he have all this info already?

"And what is your name? Please spell it out slowly. . . *pause* . . .and what is your email address?" <--RED ALERT. THIS GUY MUST BE BAD NEWS.

"Shouldn't you have my email already? (esp. if i filled out an online survey)"

...*pretends not to hear me* ... "and what is your zipcode?"

HANG UP IMMEDIATELY.

Scam scam scam. Really unfortunate to see it might be pranksters taking advantage of Oklahoma's situation and probably previously claimed to be "disaster relief" asking for donations.

Register your phone number to stop getting calls (it helps):
https://www.donotcall.gov/

Please share any other spam phone numbers you've gotten too.

About raising gender non-conforming children

2013-06-03T13:42:00.001-07:00

http://raisingmyrainbow.com/2012/06/30/12-things-every-gender-nonconforming-child-wants-you-to-know/

Great article and this should be what we hope to strive for as adults and what we wish our parents to be for us.

Guide to Dating, Part 1

2013-05-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Love at first sight?! Probably not.
Attraction at first sight?! Probably yes.

Therefore, let's do a post on some guidelines for dating if you are thinking about going on the market, *ahem* the dating market. FYI, this is just my own market research I've done regarding fashion and grooming tips from my circle of gaysian buddies. Here we go~

Fashion & Grooming Tips

For gay guys:

grooming
hygiene
fashion
personality

For gay girls:

hygiene
confidence
personality

Everybody has their own style. What's yours? Figure that out first, then be comfortable in your own shoes (literally and figuratively). Once you've established what your particular and unique style(s) are, then work it! Accentuate on all your positive features, and ask your friends to help you with this part. If they are your true friends, they will tell it like it is, no sugar coating and most likely, take you shopping to get some new outfits or makeovers or whatnot. After-all, isn't that what friends are for? ^_^''

Secondly, once you've established your style got some help with your wardrobe and exterior stuff, time to work on the interior. Build that confidence. Again, be comfortable in your own shoes. Know what you like, and what you don't like. If you don't know, then yes, that is where the term "dating" came from, to help us all figure it out.

Another thing to keep in mind, it's okay to take your time and figure it out. There is nothing wrong with being single, not being single, feeling attracted to a particular gender, or both, or none. Everybody is different and we should all be accepting of everyone's unique qualities and preferences. After-all, we do live in America. Well, most of the readers here do anyway.

Ok, so there you are, some grooming and fashion tips from yours truly, now go out there and get'em! Good luck and happy searching~

UCLA Queer Asian Pacific Islander Study

2013-05-14T21:52:00.002-07:00

What does it mean to be part of the community?

Helping out groups like QAPI complete surveys on what it means to be Queer and Asian.

http://vimeo.com/65035598

click above to fill out survey

I completed it already. Now it's your turn.

How do you meet more gay people?

2013-05-05T08:08:00.001-07:00

So, you are single and you wish to meet more people just like you. Alright, so, how do you filter out all the straight people and just meet other eligible H6 bachelors and bachelorettes?

From what I've gathered, here are a couple places you can start with:

Local coffee shops
Music stores and bookstores (i.e. Eslite bookstore 成品書店, Barnes & Noble, ...)
Join a local volunteer group you are passionate about (i.e. Habitat for Humanity, Tzu Chi, Red Cross, Animal Shelters, ... )
Online meet-up groups

I've heard many people try these online activity groups like hiking, climbing, bike-riding, etc.. Seems to be quite successful in meeting more friends at least.

If you want to try online dating, here are a couple sites to start you out with:

In Taiwan I just heard about this dating site called 2girl.net:

2girl.net

unfortunately it is all in Chinese, so if you can't read/write, sorry.
you can create a profile and categorize yourself very specifically:

T (for tomboy)
P (for 'po' or wife in mandarin)
Neither but lean towards T
Neither but lean towards P
Bisexual
Male Lesbian <-- what does that even mean??
Unsure
Does not wish to disclose
Still in closet
Androgenous

The interesting bit is you get 'points' for browsing and using the features on the site. For instance, if you join a chat group, you get x points and the more you accumulate, you can 'graduate' from a elementary to middle school level, and so on until doctorate or professor titles.

OKcupid.com

This dating site is global, not just in Taiwan. I think this has picked up traction in the states but not so much overseas yet. I could be wrong. It has been awhile since I've visited.
Cool thing is you can also search "gay guys only" or "gay girls only" and choose not to be seen by non-gay people.

Downelink.com

This was what the kids used in college and I know at least two couples who met on DL. I prefer OKC though.

If you know of other popular dating websites, please go ahead and share them with other readers of gaysiansays. I'm sure it will be much appreciated since I am by no means a dating site expert.

What do you use for online dating? Any advice on how to meet other H6 people?

Red Equal Sign

2013-04-24T01:59:00.003-07:00

What does the red equal sign mean?

Human Rights Campaign

Taiwan Pride 2012

2012-10-26T18:47:00.000-07:00

October 27, 2012

In honor of Today's Taiwan Pride Parade, which is on it's 10th year anniversary, here is a video to share with all of you:

Love = Love

Let's keep striving for equality and freedom to love whoever we want. If we don't fight for it, who else will?

This year the organizers have produced a video to support the theme of the parade “Love all the Same, the Same Kind of Love”. This year's theme is to support gay marriage. You can view it below:

http://www.twpride.org/

See you there!

Taiwan's FIRST Same-sex Buddhist Marriage

2012-08-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Read article here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/13-photos-from-taiwans-first-same-sex-buddhist-ma

Awww, this article was just too cute I had to share it with you all first! Will update with thoughts and feedback later :)

<3

A Pierced Ear

2012-07-14T12:08:00.000-07:00

In an incident when my grandma and I were watching something on television portraying a young asian male model with two pierced ears, and she sparks the question...

Grandma: ...which is the ear again with one piercing that signals you're gay? I forgot. It's either the left ear or the right ear. Which one is it?
Me: eh? HAHAHAHA oh grandma, that's so old school. people don't do that anymore.
Grandma: oh really? If a man only has one ear pierced doesn't it mean they're gay?
Me: That was a long time ago, like back in the 70s. Now it's trendy for young men to be straight and even get both ears pierced. It's just a style, to be fashionable. Doesn't mean they are gay.
Grandma: ....ohhh I see. Hmm, how times have changed.

This conversation definitely has shown how much progress and change has developed in this world. Our societies have definitely come a long way to allow social acceptance off all kinds of fashionable expression in our generations to come, and it's wonderful and exciting anticipating the ever changing growth and progression that will come in the future.

"What's the gay agenda"

2012-06-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

Introducing LZ Granderson: The myth of the gay agenda

http://www.ted.com/talks/lz_granderson_the_myth_of_the_gay_agenda.html

From TedTalks...In a humorous talk with an urgent message, LZ Granderson points out the absurdity in the idea that there's a "gay lifestyle," much less a "gay agenda."

I really love how he tactfully brings the issues on the 'gay agenda' into the spotlight and uses prime examples from his personal life to show how silly it is to grant or take away rights from people who are just that...everyday people.

I'm trying to imagine all the people that have a problem with "THE GAY LIFESTYLE" and what it would take for them to realize their views on other people are just that..their own views. Understand that everybody is entitled to their own views and just because they believe something doesn't mean everybody else should too. I feel like people who have a problem with gay people and think they are less deserving of anything because of that one fact about them are just plain bossy and selfish.

It's okay for someone to get married or have more rights because they're straight, but the minute they announce they're gay then that means their rights are taken away? mmmm...that sounds like discrimination to me and the opposite of what "equality" and "freedom for all" stands for, just something that our country was built on, that's all.

“This is the gay agenda: equality. Not special rights, but the rights that are already written by [our Founding Fathers].”

In all honesty, the gay lifestyle doesn't exist. It's the same thing as a straight lifestyle. I mean, how would you define a "straight lifestyle"?? Grow up, get an education, get a job, find someone to grow old with, maybe raise some kids (maybe not), retire.

It always baffles be to think that as a society we are more focused on deny people certain rights or privileges than focusing on the greater evil plaguing our society. You know, stuff like ignorance, poor parenting, irresponsible behavior, irrational and illogical thought processes. Here's an example from LZ:

“I would like to think that I have proven to be a capable father. But if I were to go to the state of Michigan today and try to adopt a young person who is in an orphanage, I would be disqualified for only one reason — because I'm gay.”

In this example, it is clear that the parents abandoning the young person is "OK'd" to relieve themselves of any further parental responsibility from their child, yet the people in society willing to pick up the slack for other's poor parenting judgement are NOT "OK'd" to do the responsible thing?

Hmm...

Heh I came across this image somewhere and it cracked me up. Let's just clear this up first that there is no right or wrong or someone to blame for anyone being gay. It's genetic. Already written in everybody's DNA.

Hope you enjoyed LZ Granderson's talk and many others from Tedx.

Remember to "Be well, do good work and keep in touch" everyone.

Gaydar

2012-06-07T14:09:00.000-07:00

What is gaydar? haha if you haven't heard of the term by now -- i'm sorry but you probably live under a rock, so check this out:

-H6s in range-

gay·dar
noun /ˈgāˌdär/
gaydars, plural

The putative ability of homosexuals to recognize one another intuitively or by means of very slight indications

A couple years ago a straight buddy of mine told me they actually sell 'gaydar' devices online -- some brilliant marketing person thought of an idea where people can buy a 'gaydar' keychain and if two of these devices come in close proximity to each other they'll notify the users that there's another supposedly "gay" person nearby:

Hmm...hahaha they do exist! What a way to be discreet in public huh?! I'm trying to imagine a society where the situation was reversed. Can you imagine if someone came up with a device called "straight-dar" so straight people can ID another straight person with such a silly device? "Oh no!...you're like, so totally...Straight!...what a waste!..." - boxer cover

Then there's the question: Ok, so how do I develop a more accurate gaydar?

Answer: practice practice practice!

Explanation: As with most things in life, we must practice to hone our skills and through trial and error and developing superior observational and deductive skills... we will all have better functioning and useful internal 'gaydar' abilities without having to purchase keychain devices alerting us if another person of H6 origins is close by.

Comical gaydar image

How does one practice and hone their gaydar skills? How about people watching with a close group of friends or better yet, with someone you know who has excellent gaydar abilities. Once you get passed the obvious stereotypical indicators such as super flamboyant gay boys or super butch gay girls...it's the in-between "Bi" people that are usually the most challenging to identify. The ultimate test - if you're brave enough, go up and ask the person their sexuality. If you're really brave and find 'said target' attractive - try hitting on them and see what happens... what's the worse that can happen, they'll say no right? In that case you got nothing to lose!

Good luck to all you H6s (and allies) and have fun practicing and developing superior gaydar skills :D

Taiwan LGBT spots to checkout

2012-05-27T20:01:00.002-07:00

Check this out - Queer Girl City Guide: Taipei, Taiwan

http://www.autostraddle.com/queer-girl-city-guide-taipei-taiwan-136557/

FYI - very queer and women focused site 'Autostraddle' is a great place to get your daily dose of L news...

Taipei Hangout Spots:

apparently the 信義 Xinyi district is known for being a "gay friendly" area. My friend told me there are lots of couples walking around there, very open, very public. FYI - she's straight, and she tells me sometimes it feels like she's out of place because there are so many same-sex couples in the area 0_0'' very surprising! I suppose it must be similar to the castro district in San Francisco where you just feel somewhat out of place if you are not part of the community.
Xi Men Ding 西門町 bars are also a must visit location for those staying in Taipei. In the evenings, there's a whole slew of outdoor seating with your pick of bars that allows you to unwind after a hard week of work with your buddies while ordering some delicious drinks under the evening stars and of course, checking out other good looking people ;)

Taipei shops:

gin gin's bookstore 晶晶書庫 : one stop shop w/ books, movies, articles, knick-knacks, clothing, random rainbow stuff, etc...
http://www.ginginbooks.com/index.htm
loveboat (across the street from gin gin's)
http://www.lesloveboat.com/shop/index.php?osCsid=42716e4306b167e511954d058bc8fbe6

Taipei clubs:

Taboo, 台北市建國北路2段90號, 011 886 2 2518 1119 http://www.taboo.com.tw/
This place is pretty cool. Since Esha is no longer around, the L ladies flock to this place which puts on monthly events too I believe. Check it out if you're in the neighborhood or plan on visiting Formosa.
The autostraddle article mentions a place called "twiice" but I've never been to it

Honestly, outside of Taipei...I don't know of any "LGBT" themed/designated areas. However, I do know that you can spot an LGBT person anywhere you go - pretty much anywhere in Taiwan. It's a friendly country :)

which "L" tv shows should you watch?

2012-05-04T19:13:00.000-07:00

I am currently watching: Lost Girl <-- it's really good so far. Thank you buddy for recommending it to me! Now I know what the definition of a succubus is...mmhmmm exactly~~~

SO HOT!

Video Rating: PG-13 kids; don't watch it if you can't handle it

gaysiansays you should checkout these other shows too~

L word (of course)
Skins (British version season 3 + season 4 "naomily")
Pretty Little Liars
Wonderfalls
South of Nowhere

There is also a list of LGBT themed tv drama series here if you want more:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dramatic_television_series_with_LGBT_characters

Get the popcorn ready and some buddies together to watch these addicting shows~ and enjoy!

I came out to my 外公 grandfather

2012-05-01T10:12:00.001-07:00

I know. I came out to my grandfather.
Let's just let that thought marinate for a little bit longer...

Specifically, I came out to my adorable grandpa on my most recent trip to Taiwan. He's hard of hearing, so it took some effort and patience and eventually showing him a picture of my ex for him to understand that I was talking about a past relationship with another girl, not a dude.

Honestly, I've thought about coming out to him for awhile, but I never had the guts to do it. Parents were easier in the sense that they are younger and hopefully more open-minded to the craziness going on in our generation (and generations to come for that matter). However, I always hesitated with the elder generation because of their health and the shock from knowing that one of their grand-children... is gay. First off, I'm impressed if any older person even knows what the word "gay" means! Haha. Old people can be so silly and so cute.

So imagine yourself going out to the park or the local grocery store everyday with your grandpa because, you know, they have nothing better to do and need the exercise ... and on one of these very relaxing and peaceful walks your grandpa can see that something is upsetting you. Then you are tasked with the dilemma of making something stupid up or actually telling him what the REAL thing that's bothering you is. Yea...that's when I made the decision. Didn't want to hide it from him anymore and just wanted to laugh it off like every other topic we discuss.

Grandpa: So tell me really what is making you sad and depressed...
Me: .... mmmm.... well I was talking with Brother last night about all his prospective crushes, and it made me feel sad because I started thinking about my own past relationship *SIGH*
Grandpa: ...ah...hehe... well why do you feel sad? If it's just a matter of "losing the love" just go back to your ex and "rekindle the flame" hehehe
Me: ... 0_o'' well...I don't think that will work. It's not that simple. There's a lot of other reasons too why we are not together anymore *contemplating if I should tell him it's a girl and not a guy*
Grandpa: ...what did you say? huh? ... eh feelings. Young people these days are all about feelings and love. You can always create love and the feelings will come naturally. Relationships take effort and lots of work.
Me: ...(thinks about the high divorce rate in America) ... hmm, maybe all those people just stopped trying and gave up. Poor children with multiple parents and step-parents due to divorce.
... eh, here grandpa, this is a picture of my EX... *shows picture*
Grandpa: ...eh? ahh..that's a girl. . . . HEHE, so you've been talking about a girl this whole time? hehe, I thought it was a boy! hehehehehe
Me: 0_0''
*waiting for more reaction*
.......???!!!!
Grandpa: eh, I don't know about these things. It's a fashionable thing for young people to be "gay" these days. Is your brother "gay" too? hehehe
Me: >_~'' PHEWF...*relieved* hahaha, no my brother is not gay. He's just...hahaha. No grandpa, he's not. Just me.
Me: ^_^" ...... :]

That was pretty much our conversation. I didn't have to worry about him telling my grandmother because well, my aunt did that for me too. I have yet to broach the topic with her, but that is for another day, or another year, when some circumstance or situation would prompt me to open that door and start that conversation.

As a filial grandkid, you don't want to give your grandparents a heart attack or some horrible shock that will disrupt their life. They're old. They need to take it easy and just enjoy their senior lives. There is a Chinese saying that goes like this:

老小老小　"Old little Old little"

It means Old People are like Little Kids. Sometimes they just want attention, they need extra care, they need help sometimes. Little Kids are the same way - they need attention, extra care and sometimes a little help.

When and IF you decide to come out to your grandparents, just be respectful of everybody's circumstances. Our grandparents grew up in an era of wartime, starvation and lots of suffering. They didn't have the opportunity to learn or be exposed to any gay ... well gay anything actually (at least not mine). Therefore, be kind and mindful of the elders in our society and give'em a break if they don't accept or have a hard time understanding what an Asian Queer person is. Took us time to collect and develop the courage to tell them. It'll take them some time to understand what it will be like to have a gaysian grandkid too.

Coming out to Co-workers

2012-04-24T20:46:00.001-07:00

Plain and simple, whenever you are ready. In a professional setting, if you don't feel comfortable coming out, then don't. You should never feel pressured when people start asking about your sexual orientation or if you are in a relationship, or anything along those lines.

The work environment is one in which you should be very careful to separate your personal life and your professional work life.

out at work

Different companies/organizations/groups/etc.. have the general HR policy that they will not discriminate because of age, sex, gender, sexual orientation, background, etc etc... but you know what? People still do. It's just human nature. There is no such thing as a perfect work environment, just like there is no such thing as the perfect job, or the "perfect ____". I just want to be extra cautious with this post, because you never know what will happen when people know personal details about yourself that you don't feel comfortable telling them. You got to look out for your own safely, in case there are "closet haters" that you don't know about at work. If co-workers have asked you before, and you feel comfortable with your colleagues enough to share personal details, then sure go ahead and tell them. However, if you are not, beware of gossip as pictured below:

Water Cooler Gossip

Of course there are also positive aspects of coming at to colleagues. In some circumstances, you work long hours or in such close quarters with your co-workers that you become really good friends too. In any situation, you have to gauge how comfortable you are trusting other people. By all means, if your relationship with colleagues has evolved to one in which it is more of a friendship than purely "office" or "work" relationships [platonic], just go for it.

I've found that coming out to people at work who are also H6, or who are obviously open-minded individuals that you trust is also a very liberating experience. I never felt comfortable telling my direct manager or upper leadership or any of those "boss" type levels about my sexual orientation, except for the ones that are also H6. You would be surprised to find out who else in your work environment is also part of the H6 community <3 If you have questions, feel free to leave comments below and I'll try my best to answer them.

Good luck to all H6s coming out of the work closet!
~when you are ready~

As always, “be well, do good work and keep in touch.” - Noam Chomsky