There Aint no Sanity Clause

I'm from the Commonwealth Bank and I'm here to help myself.

2012-02-22T09:46:00.000+11:00

ONLINE auction site eBay has withdrawn the Snowtown Bank from sale less than 24 hours after real estate agent Nigel Christie listed it.
In emails and conversations with the Hales Real Estate director, eBay said the item was removed because the site deemed it "inappropriate or insensitive to victims of disasters or tragedies".
And in other banking news ...
THE Commonwealth Bank is celebrating its home-loan selling success with a "pirate party", days after raising interest rates on customers to protect mega-profits. The bank is flying 200 of its "mobile bankers and mortgage innovators" from throughout the country to Lorne for a gala dinner on a "treasure island".CBA staff are ordered to come dressed as a "pirate, wench, rascal, scoundrel or villain", with those refusing to join in the fun ordered to "walk the plank".
Spokeperson for the Uncommonly Wealthy Bank, Mr. Shylock Homes, said that media reports that the orginal choice of venue for the party was the Snowtown bank with invitees ordered to come dressed as mass murderers was misleading in the extreme, as were the reports that there was to be a BBQ involving the spit roasting of defaulting mortgagees' first born children.

Good to see that nothing gets past the forensic skills of our Victorian boys in blue.

2012-01-06T17:21:00.000+11:00

Declan off to a quick start in 2012

2012-01-04T05:59:00.001+11:00

Colour me facially haired confused.

2011-10-07T17:39:00.005+11:00

A GROUP of Amish men is being investigated for allegedly breaking into Ohio family homes and chopping their victims' hair and beards off, The Wheeling Intelligencer reports.

The Amish hair-cutting gang is being investigated by four different sheriff departments in Ohio. They face charges of burglary and felonious assault.

The group refers to itself as part of the Bergholz clan, a nearby Amish community led by bishop Sam Mullet, which was the subject of a disputed child custody raid in 2007 amid allegations of sexual abuse.

The spate of attacks began around three weeks ago and targeted other Amish community members, the newspaper said.

One of the victims in Holmes County described how the gang of between 20 to 30 men dragged him from his house by his beard.

Holmes County sheriff Timothy Zimmerly told reporters the victims also included a 13-year-old girl and a 74-year-old man.

I've heard of bearded ladies being trotted out by Barnum and Bailey, but I thought they were somewhat older than 13. Most 13 year old boys would be pushing to disport facial hair.

This is a bit of a worry.

2011-10-03T14:08:00.008+11:00

A picture clipped from a newspaper article about the problematic nature of some nudie, well intentioned fundraising calendars.

Being too revealing - or challenging comfortable gender stereotypes - seemed to put people offside, Dr Turton-Turner said. "I'm not telling people what they should or shouldn't do. I'm trying to highlight what's going on beyond the surface layer - that the calendars are not as innocent as they seem," she said.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/gallery-0-1111120166843

Declan at the Age is obviously having a very mad Monday.

2011-09-26T07:59:00.000+10:00

Freudian typo.

2011-09-26T07:37:00.000+10:00

Pardon me while I go outside and vomit.

2011-09-23T13:46:00.003+10:00

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-09-23/christian-schools-changing-the-national-anthem/2939594

Explosive typo.

2011-09-21T13:54:00.000+10:00

Errrm?!

2011-09-18T09:03:00.000+10:00

Constructing a Heritage Zone?!

Why chiropodists make a squill.

2011-09-18T08:26:00.001+10:00

Well may you say reduce your risk of cancer, but nothing will save your Achilles.

ET tu Declan?

2011-09-17T08:42:00.000+10:00

Not quite sure how the very worthy Healesville Sanctuary goes about saving from extinction a species that never existed.

I want Roberta to be my character witness.

2011-09-13T12:23:00.002+10:00

Roberta Williams told the jury her drug-dealing former husband Carl - who was jailed in 2007 for life with a 35-year minimum after he pleaded guilty to four murders and one conspiracy to murder - was ''the most placid, quiet person I have ever come across''.

No files on our Declan.

2011-09-02T08:05:00.002+10:00

No files on our Declan.

2011-09-02T08:05:00.000+10:00

Who can you believe to ... C'mon Tony, you DO have 'form'.

2011-08-28T14:33:00.002+10:00

TONY Abbott's office has rejected a claim by Independent MP Tony Windsor that the opposition leader told him the only thing he would not do to become prime minister was "sell his a---".

In a series of interviews with independent MPs to mark the anniversary of their decision to back Labor in a minority government, Mr Windsor says he felt alarm and pity when Mr Abbott revealed how deeply he wanted the job of prime minister.
"I remember him saying 'Tony, I would do anything for this job. The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse, but I'd have to give serious thought to it'," Mr Windsor told Fairfax media.
A spokesman for Mr Abbott said: "Tony did not make that comment".
Mr Abbott has said his scripted remarks could be taken as "gospel truth" but, "in the heat of discussion you go a little bit further".
Abbott also has long-term form in struggling with the truth in interviews. In 1998, he — commendably — undertook a personal mission to destroy One Nation, partly by funding a disgruntled member, Terry Sharples, in legal action. Trouble was, he later denied to the ABC ever funding Sharples — a blatant lie he was sprung on in 2003. Then there was his curious denial of meeting George Pell during the 2004 election campaign, until Tony Jones jogged his memory and Abbott suddenly recalled that he’d met him the previous week.

Huh?!

2011-08-13T08:21:00.000+10:00

Hypocrisy comes in all colours - including pink it would seem.

2011-08-09T12:15:00.000+10:00

http://www.smh.com.au/federal-election/married-to-the-mob-20100726-10r77.html
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-09/penny-wong2c-partner-expecting-first-child/2831018

Many as slip twixt headline and text, but that's News Corp's default approach to journalism.

2011-08-06T08:42:00.000+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)

Serial offender.

2011-07-16T10:55:00.001+10:00

"I thought it was minor."
Much like the size of my IQ.

The syntax challenged Declan strikes again.

2011-07-11T18:55:00.003+10:00

Where the hell were the Victorian court's security guards?!

Errr derrr!

2011-07-06T15:21:00.002+10:00

"Neighbours are horrified to learn a woman's death went unnoticed in inner Sydney for up to eight years."

What wonderful caring sharing neighbours. Caring sharing neighbours who should really shut the fark up in the face of reporters lest they might appear to be seriously disingenuous geese.

Let's hope Hawkie prefers to get his news from the ABC rather than the Hun.

2011-06-22T08:38:00.000+10:00

Hypocrisy, the first refuge of the political scoundrel.

2011-06-17T09:05:00.000+10:00

(Click image to enlarge.)
This surely isn't THIS Justin Madden.http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/heat-on-madden-over-windsor-hotel-sham-20100226-p670.html

Seperated at birth.

2011-06-17T08:27:00.000+10:00