the lowe down

30 weeks

2012-01-24T14:18:00.000-08:00

Woot! I made it to 30 weeks. Baby is much stronger now than he was 3 weeks ago. That is buenisimo! Now, on to my ramblings.

We are so grateful to all the people who have stopped by, brought food, helped with Danny, dropped off treats, lent me books, sent care packages, and offered to do anything and everything for us! We have been shown so much love, and I am totally in awe of the wonderful people who surround us.

Three weeks down, six to go. That's 1/3 of the way. I'd say that is encouraging at the least!

Every day I have my ups and downs. I'm mostly up, but with the occasional breakdown. I'll let myself have a tear or two then I'll move on.

It's been easy to focus on the positive with so many people keeping me company. My spirits have been up, which I'm very surprised about. I know it is largely due to the power of prayer. I can feel the prayers of others and the hand of the Lord in my life.

When I imagine how much worse it could (and sometimes, should) be, I can't help but acknowledge my friends, family, and the Lord for the tremendous blessings of health and relative sanity I have received. I could have bled again. I could still be in the hospital. The baby could have had serious complications. I could have had an emergency c-section. My son could be in an incubator. Danny could be totally miserable and lonely without his mom. Steve could be across the country every other week. All these things were real possibilities, but I know that because of the power of prayer I am safe, this baby is well, and my family is happy.

I have cable. DVR. Netflix. A well-stocked library. Weeks of magazine material. More junk food than necessary. Life could not be better, all things considered.

I am constantly daydreaming about life after bed rest. I think I will appreciate walking like never before. As soon as my doc gives me the ok (after my c-section), I will pace up and down the halls of the hospital for 4 days. Nonstop. I can't wait. Who knew such a simple pleasure would be number one on my post-op list?

Still haven't gone in for my glucose test. Gross. I was supposed to like a month ago. Hope I don't have gestational diabetes.

Welp, not much more to say. Like I said, these are merely ramblings. My mind is kind of blah lately. Until next time!

PS I'd post a picture, but a) I am sick of taking pictures of myself sitting alone on the couch, and b) I hardly recognize the blobby woman in the photo.

Danny-isms

2012-01-14T12:59:00.001-08:00

This kid keeps me happy! Lately he has been known to say the following phrases multiples times a day.

"Can I have a sip of that?"
"Is that caffeine-free?"
"Dad, wanna shoot some hoops?!"
"Wanna go to the bike store?"
"I'm gonna beat up the bad guys!"
"There's monsters in there!"
"I want some strawberry milk, Dad!"
"I wanna wear my Jimmer (jersey)."
"I wanna watch a show."
"I'll shoot the basketball, and you clap, Mom!"
"Yay! Nursery!"
"Let's check it out."
"I'm being very, very careful."
"I'm very, very strong."
(After kissing a boo-boo) "That feels better, now!"
"Can you kiss it better?"
"Do I look cool?"

my mind is racing

2012-01-13T20:05:00.000-08:00

I have a "complete placenta previa". No way out for the little guy!

My mind is racing tonight. I made a terrible, terrible mistake. No, I didn't get up to make a sandwich or open a window or turn on the light. I am not that stupid, haha.

I googled "placenta previa."

I thought I'd just brush up on my knowledge, keep myself informed, and possibly get some peace of mind by reading about how "common" and normal this condition is. Not a bueno idea. Let me just give you a snapshot of what I gathered from reading these articles:

"Risks to the mother include: Major bleeding (hemorrhage), Shock, Death. Other risks: Blood clots, Infection, Need for blood transfusions."
"Risks to the baby include: Blood loss in the baby, Death."
"The biggest risk is severe bleeding that can be life threatening to the mother and baby... your baby may need to be delivered early, before major organs, such as the lungs, have developed."
"... massive bleeding and the need for multiple blood transfusions at delivery. It can be life threatening and require a hysterectomy to control the bleeding."
"You'll still need to deliver by c-section because the placenta can bleed profusely as the cervix dilates."
"If both you and your baby are in good condition (during your hospital stay)... you may be sent home. But it's likely for the bleeding to start again, and you'll need to return to the hospital immediately."

Now, I promise I'm not trying to be a "debbie downer", but this is pretty frightening material. I know the doctors all informed me of these risks, but it just resonates so much more when I see it in writing, and from multiple sources. PLUS, this seemingly "common" condition only affects 1 in 200 pregnant women (of which the majority are over 35, have had previous c-sections, have had multiple children, use cocaine, are pregnant with multiples, have had previous uterine surgeries, or smoke cigarettes.) Lucky me -- I miraculously fit into none of those categories.

Now, I feel like I need to take a deep breath and play the "gratitude game."

Steve is amazing. You would be hard-pressed to find another husband who would go to the lengths that he has!
Danny has a grandma who takes very good care of him... almost every day! He loves her!
I'm home. It may not be for much longer, but at least I'm one of the few who made it home for awhile.
My hospital room was/will be large, private, and bright. Not the most depressing hospital room I've seen ;)
The baby is very active, healthy, and strong (and measuring 4 days ahead of schedule -- good boy!)
I've made it past 28 weeks, which is great as far as lung development goes.
The people in my life are amazing: I am totally spoiled with visits, notes, care packages, meals, treats, phone calls, and prayers.
My heating pad is HOT. It is the only way to relieve the back, hip, and shoulder pain from lying down. ALL. DAY.
My magazine collection, thanks to generous donors :), is a mile high.
Did I mention Steve??? I could just cry thinking about how much he does for me and for Danny. He is super mom, super dad, super nurse, and superman.

Last but not least, for history's sake, here is what a usual day in the life of bed rest looks like.

7:00am-11:00am -- Hang out in bed. Chat with Danny. Watch "Go, Diego, Go!" Say goodbye to Danny and/or Steve. Watch lots and lots of Netflix.

11:00am-8:00pm -- Slowly walk to couch. Alternate between websites like FB, FoxNews, Blogger, Gmail, and Pinterest. Watch lots of FoxNews, HGTV, Bravo, E!, FoodNetwork, and TLC. Eat lunch (Steve makes me a food tray and leaves it next to the couch every morning.) Flip through magazines. Take a nap. Stare out window. Think about life.

8:00pm -- Go back to bed. Play Words with Friends with Steve. Watch Netflix with Steve. Go to sleep. Wake up and repeat.

Well, wish me at least 7-8 weeks of baby-baking time! I'll be here, on the couch (or in bed.) Woot!

PS -- I haven't been outside in 14 days. With this beautiful weather, that is just wrong! Oh well!

home is where the heart is

2012-01-12T19:02:00.001-08:00

Jut snapped a couple pics with my little love snuggling up to me on the couch. I love being home with my boys, and I hope to have many more days here!

never have i loved a couch so dearly

2012-01-06T14:43:00.000-08:00

This morning we got some unexpected news: I could go home!!! We were hoping for me to go home by Sunday or Monday, trying not to have any high expectations. After a few visits from different doctors, nurses, specialists, etc, and a few extra tests and hours of monitoring, I was free. My mood immediately changed the second my nurse pushed me out of the hospital room. I hadn't even seen life outside my door this entire week! I was literally in the same place for 6 days. I know it could be worse, but because of the initial shock of being admitted to the hospital and then not knowing when I would (if at all) be released, the week was incredibly difficult. I can't believe how much I love laying on my own couch, using my own (HOT!) heating pad, and seeing Danny's toys around the family room. I can hardly wait for him to get home tonight and play with his Christmas presents around the couch where I can watch him :) All I want is to see that smiling face and know that he is at home, happy, and can see his mama. My goal is to make it through one week at a time, because every day that goes by is one more day this little boy gets to ripen up, which is incredibly important at this point. Every day is a milestone for baby's development, and I plan to get him through as many milestones as possible. I LOVE the happiness that being home brings, and I pray that I'll be able to spend as much time here as possible. Hooray for the couch!

The Long Version

2012-01-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Alrighty. I'm on day 3 here at the hospital. I've had so many people ask me what's going on, so I thought I'd just go ahead and blog the long version!

At my 20 week appointment, the ultrasound showed my placenta resting down low on top of my cervix (the "exit door" for the baby). The placenta is the food supply to the baby, and it is supposed to attach high up on the side of the uterus, well out of the way. At that point, there was still an 80% chance that the placenta would shift up the side of the uterus and all would be fine. The doc told me to take it easy, no "shenanigans", but I could live life almost normally. Really, I wasn't concerned at all. I was scheduled for an ultrasound next week to check up on the placenta's position, and all seemed fine.

On Sunday morning I woke up with blood on the sheets. Shoot. Walked over to the bathroom and "whoosh," and big gush of blood. Shoot. I called the doc and was instructed to come into the hospital. I didn't have any pain or any other "bad" signs. Just blood. When I arrived at the hospital, there was a nurse waiting to take me to the evaluation room. They went through 100 pages of hospital registration paperwork, hooked me up to 3 different machines (including an IV, blah!), and had the on-call doctor come examine me. She gave me the news, which, frankly, came as kind of a shock: I would be here at the hospital a minimum of three days, with the possibility of three months.

What the heck? Why is this happening? Isn't placenta previa pretty common? Why can't I just go home and take it easy?? The questions just keep rushing through my head.

This is why I have to stay here at the hospital -- the placenta is bleeding. It is the baby's lifeline. It is inside my uterus, and it is blocking the cervix. The baby is resting on top of the placenta, creating too much pressure. Every time my uterus contracts, the bulk of the strain is concentrated around my cervix, agitating the placenta. Every time I contract, I bleed a little more. If the placenta becomes too irritated (which could happen in my sleep, or for no reason at all!), it could hemorrhage and I (and possibly the baby) would die. DIE. This is serious business.

Since I am only 27 weeks along, the baby is extremely premature. If I were to bleed uncontrollably, the doctor would be forced to deliver the baby (c-section, of course). BAD news. The past few days I have been receiving steroid injections to help develop the baby's lungs -- so, in case of an emergency, he'd be able to breathe with significant medical help. If he were born today, he would have a good chance of survival, but he would spend months in the NICU. The primary goal right now is to keep the baby inside as long as possible. Every week that passes provides an exponentially better situation for this little one. Even one more week would benefit the baby extremely as far as lung development is concerned.

So, here I am. In a hospital bed. Day three. I graduated from bedpans to the actual bathroom today. Lucky me! However, I'm still not allowed to shower. I smell like Taco Bell. I've had an outpouring of love and support in the form of phone calls and messages -- for which I am very grateful. Steve is in town this week, which is a HUGE blessing. My sister, Sammy, is here helping with Danny this week. My other sister, Amanda, brought me a delicious dinner and cute visitors last night. I've had so many wonderful friends offer to take care of Danny (which will be wonderful!!!). I'm overwhelmed with love, and very grateful.

No matter how blessed I feel, I can't help but feel a little "down." Being stuck in a bed ALL day is hard. Being away from my home and family is hard. Knowing I can't get up for possibly 2-3 months is hard. My back hurts. My fetal and uterus monitors are uncomfortable. I can't sleep. Daytime TV is terrible. All I want to do is hold my little Danny boy and take him for a walk to see the horses (it's his favorite activity.) My history of depression is not too promising in this situation, either. There is a very real concern that I could nosedive into a depression (which would not be a pleasant situation, trust me!).

Even with all these bummers, I am still very, VERY grateful for my situation: I have excellent support, excellent health care, wonderful nurses, a healthy baby, and so many tender mercies have already been experienced. I'm grateful to be healthy, I'm grateful for a strong baby, I'm grateful that Steve can work from the hospital during the day to keep me company, I'm grateful that Danny has so many people who love him taking care of him. The list goes on. Here is to hoping the next weeks and months pass quickly, and that this little one is safe and can grow stronger with each passing day!

Happy? New Year

2012-01-01T15:46:00.001-08:00

Here I am in all my hospital-gown glory. Have I mentioned that I have placenta previa? Basically, the placenta is stuck in the very wrong place: on top of my cervix (aka the baby's exit.) Pretty common, I hear. Doctor wasn't too worried. Just advised to take it easy. No crazy exercise (hahaha!), no heavy lifting (difficult with a two-year-old), and staying off my feet as much as possible.

I did alright with those instructions for the most part, I think, but somehow woke up with a lot of bleeding this morning. Called the doc, was instructed to come in for monitoring, and now here I am. Lovely large room. Lovely nurse Heidi. Lovely view of Nordstrom Rack -- even though I'm forbidden to leave for a quick shopping trip.

The bad news: I'll be here a minimum of three days. Minimum. And after that, I'll MAYBE be able to go home on complete bed rest. Bathroom breaks only. Terrible, isn't it??

The good news: baby is alright. I am alright. Just a little bummed to be here, but that's natural. Bring it on, third trimester!

picasso

2011-12-30T19:55:00.000-08:00

a few months back, danny discovered a tub of kids paints at my parents' house. since then, almost every time we have been at their house, he has begged to do his "painting." so, for christmas this year, grammie knew EXACTLY what to get for her grandson: his own paints. he has painted almost every day this week -- and he makes the most beautiful pictures :) here are a few shots of my little picasso doing his art projects.

the wedding!

2011-12-30T19:46:00.000-08:00

Fern and Trevor were sealed for all time and eternity on Wednesday. It was SUCH an amazing day. The weather was incredible: 75 degrees and clear skies. The evening was crisp, but not too cold. Family and friends surrounded the happy couple. Cute nieces and nephews ran around with smiles on their little faces all day. Fern and Trevor seemed just so... natural. Happy. Joyful. Excited. At ease. They are truly a great match. We love them, and are so glad to have been a part of their special day and love story!

The reception was beautiful, thanks to my mother. She knocks everything that she does out of the park! Strings of lights, delicious food, live music, hot cider, moist cake, beautiful wedding video, and LOTS of people -- all good friends and family! So fun to see so many familiar faces. Overall, it was a fantastic day full of love and excitement.

Christmas Morning

2011-12-30T15:28:00.000-08:00

Each year it just gets better and better! As Danny grows up and "gets it" more and more, we have way more fun prepping for Christmas. At about 7:30 am, we made our way to the Christmas tree to see if Santa had come the night before -- and he had! Danny loved all the attention and presents. We were a little nervous about getting him a scooter for fear that he wouldn't be able to do it, but the kid was racing around like a madman by the end of the day! He loves his scooter and his car rampway toy thing-a-ma-jig.

After our little family's Christmas morning, we hopped over to my parents' house for breakfast: dutch babies, a Christmas morning tradition! So delish.

Having Christmas fall on a Sunday is such a treat -- we get to go to church and listen to stories of the Savior's birth and enjoy singing and hearing all the Christmas hymns!

We spent the rest of the day at Grammie and Papa's house. Kids played with their toys, parents lounged, and everyone ate Jordan's mexican food! I love the holidays, but my thighs most certainly do not! At least I've got a reason for gaining 10 pounds this season, right :)?

Noche antes de Navidad

2011-12-29T22:02:00.001-08:00

Christmas Eve was perfect this year. My uncle Dave and aunt Jess hosted, and about 40 family members gathered for an early evening of festivities.

We arrived at 2:30 for appetizers, nativity practice, and mingling. Dinner was at about 3:30, the nativity play (organized by aunt Monica, performed by all the kids) premiered at about 5:30, then lastly the gift exchange. We were all packed up cleaned up, and ready to go home by 7:00. It was just perfect. Did I say that already? :)

Man, we really are blessed to have such a wonderful family!

Sick

2011-12-29T21:50:00.001-08:00

This poor child of mine woke this morning and promptly threw up marshmallows from the night before. We figured it was a result of a LONG day and night of "party time!" (Fern and Trevor's wedding). Thought, "Meh, he is riding his scooter and having the time of his life. He is fine."

Flash forward to this evening and BAM! We have a very barfy child. Luckily my mommy instinct kicked in right before it happened and I grabbed a big blanket to catch the eruption. Since then, it has been one episode after the other (one consisting purely of cherry 7-up... on the carpet. we will be calling in some pros to help with that one.)

This is the first time Dan has gotten "stomach-flu" sick. It is so dreadful and sad. Tonight we set up a special sleepover tent in our room on the floor. Looks like fun, actually. Goodnight, and here's to a vomit-free evening.

Daddy time

2011-12-22T11:57:00.001-08:00

Steve has had a few days off this week, and we have LOVED spending more time with him! Here is a pic of our day at the mall. We had a gift certificate to Cheesecake Factory, so we treated ourselves to a nice lunch. Yay for the holiday season!

Doctor and St. Nick

2011-12-15T10:12:00.001-08:00

After a month of relentless coughing, wheezing, and nose-running, I popped over to the doctor's office. Poor kid has strep and scarlet fever (apparently no big deal.) He is such a champion at the doctor's -- opens his mouth, lays down, lifts up his shirt, and turns his head.

After his appointment, I had to return one thing at the mall, so we ran in (quickly). Made the return, and then made the mistake of walking past the "North Pole" where Santa was handing out candy canes. Danny begged to sit on Santa's lap and get his candy cane. Of course, when we got to the front of the line, he changed his mind. Good times. Merry Christmas!

Oh, Christmas Tree!

2011-12-10T12:34:00.001-08:00

We finally got our tree!
It brings me so much glee!
To smell the pine,
and see the shine,
I smile and think, "whoopie!"

Haha. I just made that up (obviously).
It took all morning to get this baby up and running, but I enjoyed every minute of it :) Steve sawed off the tip of the stump, shook it out, dragged it through the house, and set it up. I helped decorate, ha! Perfect system! The 8-foot Costco special on noble firs is outta control: $44! Jackpot. I love our tree.

birthday party

2011-12-09T16:35:00.001-08:00

Danny went to his first official birthday party today. It was the cutest thing! A superhero party for his friend, Jude. All the kids received their own (legit) capes and masks. They "flew" up the hill in the backyard to the secret superhero clubhouse where they visited different stations to retrieve superhero items: rope (streamers) to tie up the villain, vaporizer spray (silly string), and lightsticks (glow bracelets). They travelled into the batcave, up into a tall building (tree house and rope bridge), and learned to jump super high on the trampoline. Then, the villain appeared, and the kids all got to spray him with silly stirng and tie him up with streamers. Jude's mom, Megan, did a great job entertaining the kiddos for their activities. After all the fun, the kids ate snacks, cupcakes, and watched Jude open presents.

Danny needed me to hold his hand the whole stinking time, refused to wear his costume, made a mean face every time I told him to join the group, but then threw an absolute fit when we had to leave! "I just want to go to Jude's superhero party!!!" Go figure! He napped almost three hours this afternoon -- that tells you how fun his morning was :)

Chubby Bunny

2011-12-08T20:27:00.001-08:00

Man, this kid never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think he couldn't possibly want another marshmallow, he pops one into his mouth. So gross. The bottomless marshmallow pit! I really need to relocate those suckers to where he can't reach them... :)

a typical afternoon

2011-12-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

This is what Danny and Mommy do most afternoons. We watch cartoons, snuggle, and take a nap in the big bed! Aren't I lucky? Danny's netflix flavor of the week is "Busytown Mysteries." I love that he has favorite shows -- he sings along and totally knows all the characters' names. I think it's cute, at least :) Please notice Danny's pal, "Blue", smooshed between us :) Ta-ta for now!

Santa Encounter

2011-12-01T19:53:00.001-08:00

My good friend, Whitney invited Danny over to meet Santa at her house this morning. He was stopping by to visit her little girl (and Danny's girlfriend), Sawyer, so Whit was awesome and let Danny come say "Hi", too.

Sawyer was a champion, Danny was... Well, not. Let the pictures speak for themselves. He did, however, thoroughly enjoy the candy cane from Whit.

The play date ended with Danny holding down Sawyer, saying over and over, "I just wanna kiss you!" He attempted repeatedly, might have scored once or twice, but his girl was just not down for smooching today.

Sea World

2011-11-30T18:12:00.001-08:00

Sea World rocks this time of year! The park is empty, there are no lines, no crowds, and no stress! We had a great and leisurely family day together. Danny had a meltdown during the Shamu show within an hour of being at the park, but thankfully Steve was there to wrestle some sense into the kid. He calmed down and the day was smooth sailing from there.

Tonight at the dinner table we asked Danny what his favorite part of the day was, and he replied, "dolphins!" We wouldn't have known, however, because his face was stone cold during the whole show. It was hilarious. Picture this: blue cupcake frosting smeared around his mouth and a scowl that could kill glued to his face for 20 mins straight. There were bouts of happiness, but every time we caught him smiling, he quickly reverted to his stern, serious face. He LOVED IT, obviously :)

Other highlights included the killer whales, sea turtles, shark encounter, star fish, and the pets' show. They also had a special Christmas area with real snow, reindeer, and hot cider. Now we have annual passes good through December 2012, so get yours and join us all next year!

Thanksgiving Weekend 2011

2011-11-28T10:29:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was another great one this year! We love doing Arizona Thanksgivings -- it translates to TONS of people, TONS of food, and TONS of homemade saurkraut (a family tradition)! Our Arizona family doesn't mess around when it comes to Thanksgiving, and we are always grateful to be part of the festivities. We had a grand time just hanging out with the whole family, playing cards and Blokus, munching on grandma's endless supply of goodies, and eating at Jordan's Mexican restaurant in PHX (another family tradition.) It was a great weekend, and it definitely left us a lot to be grateful for. Thanksgiving is the perfect way to kick off the whole holiday season!

I brought my camera (gasp!) for the first time since in about a year, so I kind of got picture happy.

Drinking ranch dressing

Grandma dearest preparing the eighteen pots of saurkraut! MY FAVORITE!

Danny frolicking over to the "park" (Jeff and Jessie's backyard)

Lola

His best "cheese" grin

The reason we all get together: Grandma :)

Pretending to not like David

Stella helping unload the chairs

Where we spent the weekend munching, chatting, and playing games

Dad and Aunt Melinda

Fern and Trev

The little kid table

The cool table ;)

Walking over to the farm

Very, very, very.... etc... TIRED.

This boy LOVES horses. He asks to go to the stables in our cul-de-sac every afternoon.

Yay! He is looking (and smiling) at the camera!

Someone was afraid of sitting atop bales of hay.... hahaha.

Checking out the baby cows

Bye, bye, Farm!

Is It Just Me?...

2011-11-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

... or do I already look eight months pregnant?

two-year-old memories

2011-11-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

Danny, at two-years-old, has quite the array of phrases and quirks. This may be boring, but for memories' sake, here we go!

After kissing "boo-boo's" better, he exclaims, "That feels better, now, Mom!!!"
Whenever he sees or realizes something (anything, really), he ends his sentences with "... I SEE!" For example, "That's the park I SEE, mom!", or "There's a hot dog I SEE!", or "That'd be fun I SEE!"
Lately, he judges things on whether or not they "BE HAPPY". I.E., "Riding the horses be happy!", or "Eating Danny's cereal not be happy, mom", or "Get some more candy be happy!"
The most common question is currently, "Where'd this come from?" He asks this about anything: shoes, bags, desks, food, body parts, etc.
Every time sports is on tv (any team, any sport, any TIME), he repeatedly shouts,"GO COUGARS!!"He also calls everything with a BYU logo a "Go Cougars" _____ (insert shirt, shorts, hat, etc).
Whenever we don't want him to eat something, we just say it's spicy, and he backs off.
He is currently obsessed with picking out his own shoes.
Every morning when he wakes up and the first thing out of his mouth is "I want some marshmallow cereal!" (Lucky Charms) Can you blame him?
Sports of every kind are still his #1 obsession. Basketball, football, golf, baseball, soccer.
He tells us about his "little brother": "He can't talk, yet.", "He needs to grow up.", "I'm gonna teach him basketball, and baseball, and football!"
He runs up and down the hallways of the house, throwing his body into the ground and jumping the long jump at the end. Over and over... and over and over.

That's all I can think of for now. Didn't want to forget! Pictures at another time. I'm feelin' lazy.

I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home!

2011-11-17T16:42:00.000-08:00

Some of you may already know this: Steve's work takes him out of town 2 weeks out of every month! One week here, one week somewhere else in America. We are super spoiled when he is in town, because we get to see his face everyday (even though he frequently has to ask us to leave him alone while he is working in his office, haha :)

The weeks he is gone, however, are so sad. Danny knows his dad is gone. He acts like there is no "order in the court" (which there isn't). I slip into a sad state of... well, sadness. I try to keep busy. Really, I do. Sometimes it's just easier than others. This has been a blah week. Hard to get out of bed, hard to not go back to bed, hard to make goals, just hard in general. Anyone else feel that way sometimes?

The moral of the story is this -- we are SO HAPPY that Steve is coming home a day early this week. In fact, we are off to pick him up at the airport any minute. We need him home. The equilibrium is way off. And I'm exhausted!

Here we are saying "Daddy's coming home!"

this is madness

2011-11-09T20:47:00.000-08:00

First: I am so hot, right?
Second: This picture encompasses all that I am feeling, both emotionally and physically.
Mostly physically. Thank you, worst sinus infection of my life.

Why must pregnant women get sick on top of being nauseous, achey, exhausted, dizzy, short-tempered, fat, and ugly?

I know, you are thinking, "Not all pregnant women are that way!" Well, I am all of those. If you catch me on a really good day (meaning: showered, make-up'ed, and hair done), I may not seem so bad. But catch me the other 99% of the time at home in my PJ's, and this is what you get. I have the acne of a middle-schooler. My face gets rounder by the second. I'm retaining every ounce of "forceable liquids" (doctor's orders) possible. I lay on a heating pad for at least an hour every night, hoping to relieve the achey back that keeps me from falling asleep despite the utter exhaustion and nightly routine of sleeping pills. I'm mostly a prisoner to this body.

And now I'm bogged down by my semi-annual sinus infection.

I must end this rant on a positive note: I'm so grateful to have children. I'm so grateful Steve is in town this week to help me not die. I'm so grateful that it is the holiday season. I'm grateful for an endless list of things -- just know, that.

Carry on, and remember to be grateful for your health above all else.