Bitchin' Wives Club

Paula Deen and the Greasy Truth About Her Diabetes Announcement

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:00:14 PST

When I heard about Paula Deen’s recent announcement about being diagnosed with diabetes, I responded with a tsk, tsk and “Well, that’s not surprising.” If you live and breathe the kind of food that she is famous for making, it certainly isn’t a stretch, or even unexpected, for someone to develop type 2 diabetes. Even though the disease is a natural consequence, I still sympathize and feel for Deen and her family—I have a beloved uncle who was diagnosed with diabetes not so many years ago, certainly stemming from his lifetime of exuberantly loving food (a quality that I have always adored and share with him, if I am being honest, but understanding scientifically that something bad is a consequence of something that feels so good when you’re doing it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. Obviously. Or life would be a lot different, right?

That said, I was shocked this morning when I read an op-ed piece in the New York Times titled Of Mouselike Bites and Marathons, by Frank Bruni, which revealed that Deen has been living with diabetes for THREE YEARS. And that she had timed her announcement in the most self-aggrandizing way imaginable—to promote her son’s new lower-calorie cooking show and to reveal that she landed a pitchwoman gig with a diabetes drug. Nice. Way to keep it klassy, Paula.

With obesity being such an epidemic in the USA, particularly in the South, upon whose mayonnaise- and butter-rich recipes Deen has built her empire, I find it almost reprehensible that she would continue cooking and selling her style of calorie-blind recipes without acknowledging that she was suffering from a disease that she developed in a direct response to the cooking and eating style she is selling.

I wrote about Georgia’s anti-obesity ad campaign featuring obese children last October, wondering if their tactics were too harsh or if the ads could really work as the makers of the campaign intended: Not to shame the overweight children, but to make the parents of obese children realize that it is the food they serve their children (and the amounts they dole it out in) that is causing their children to become and stay overweight.

The ads are harsh. They make you uncomfortable to see and at least one of them made me tear up, as a young obese boy shakily asks his morbidly obese mother, “Mom, why am I fat?” and her only response is to silently hang her head in shame. Ooph. There have been many articles written about the commercials being awful or even counter-productive because of their shame-based approach to the issue of being fat, but Georgia’s Strong4Life felt strongly that traditional education/awareness-based campaigns that had been used in the past to inform the Georgia populace (which is second in the nation for childhood obesity) of the health concerns related to obesity were not working and that they needed a more extreme approach to “wake up” their community.

Now, imagine Paula Deen… a Georgia native, sitting back while the controversy around these anti-obesity ads swirled— and making the conscious decision to continue hiding her diabetes diagnosis while putting on her happy TV face to continue serving up the fried chicken, pies, and Krispy Kreme donut-encased cheeseburgers that have made her rich and famous.

Deen strikes me as a genuinely nice person, so I like to think that she was choking on each one of the super-unhealthy and super-tasty dishes she created in the years after her diagnosis. Money may make life easier in a million different ways, but it can’t buy a good night’s sleep that is free from the torments of conscience. (At least I hope it can’t, but I acknowledge a certain degree of idealism may be coloring my opinion here.)

So, while I’m glad she has finally stepped forward, I can’t help but find the hypocrisy of her decision to wait so long to reveal her illness galling. I don’t know what her net worth is, but I would assume it is enough that she could’ve used her status as a celebrity chef to acknowledge that diabetes is one of the major health consequences from leading a life of excess calories and then she could’ve used her platform to start creating new recipes that hold to the spirit of the South, but acknowledge that we can’t eat eat 2,000+ calories every time we sit down to eat.

Wouldn’t you want to know how a woman who has lived her life relishing Southern food, in all it’s salty, sugary, bacon-y, fatty glory, is able to reconcile her new dietary restrictions with what her taste buds want? Anyone can make healthy recipes, after all, not everyone can make one that satisfies that primal (and almost insatiable) desire for fatty/sweet/salty foodstuffs—a genetically hardwired trait that is one of the major factors in our nation’s ever-expanding waistline problem.

I challenge Paula Deen to show America what she really eats these days and to talk about what she did, personally— the missteps and will-power-related foibles, in particular— to teach herself how to eat the right way to keep herself healthy and happy. A lot of people would like to hear an announcement like that—and would respect her for sharing the fact that no matter how hard it is to change, it can be done in a way that still allows food lovers to relish every meal.

Photo Courtesy of: Bristol Motor Speedway & Dragway

Laptops You are Definitely Going to Want in 2012 (As Seen at CES)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 10:40:37 PST

The big thing at CES this year was the mass introduction of the ultrabook, otherwise known as the PC version of the MacBook Air. With a 13" MacBook Air starting at $1299 and a near universal agreement that netbooks stink because of the cramped keyboard, I think ultrabooks are definitely worth getting excited about with their thin profiles, ultra-light construction, and more reasonable (i.e. family-friendly) price point.

While working with Microsoft's Windows' Team, I got a chance to see a few of the new ultrabooks up close while I was at the conference and can confirm that a few of them will definitely give the MacBook Air a run for it's money. If Windows 8 continues to improve the user experience the way Windows 7 has, I think Apple is going to have some tough decisions to make about their pricing structures in the next couple years.

My second day at CES, looking at Lenovo's U310 and Hotmail's new features.

Video from Microsoft Windows Experience Blog.

My favorite ultrabook at CES would have to be Lenovo's clever IdeaPad Yoga. Until I saw the Yoga, I was with everyone else ooh-ing and aah-ing over Asus's Tranformer Prime, a tablet with a nifty clip-on keyboard was getting all the press, but Lenovo's Yoga, for my money and keyboard-craving fingers, looks like a way better solution and quickly won me over. It opens like a laptop, but has a touch screen that rotates and folds over to become a tablet, or it can be set up like an easel to watch the screen—with no special gizmos needed (like an iPad or other traditional tablets). It is, in a word, PERFECT for those of us who think a tablet looks nifty, but still don't think they're worth replacing a laptop for when traveling or are willing to add yet another piece of technology in an already too-heavy bag.

Another standout was the tamer, but still more than edgy enough to stimulate a visceral "I want that!" reaction, Lenovo IdeaPad U310 ultrabook. It's available in four colors, and even though I'm partial to the red one, I have to admit that the metallic light pink with the pearl/white interior was probably the most eye-catching. The U310 claims a battery life of up to eight hours, a super-fast boot up feature which allows the machine to start up within 10 seconds of opening it, a full complement of ports, including USB 3.0and weighs just over three pounds. Nice. Intriguingly, it's supposed to enter the market in May at about $600—making it a steal in the ultrabook market, where most machines are hovering closer to the $800-1100 mark. We'll have to wait and see what the full specs are before deciding if it's really worth the lower price tag, but I am very interested.

Another sexy contender is the ASUS Zenbook, a ravishing little number clad in "Rose Gold" aluminum. It stands out as one of the best looking laptops I've ever seen. It is the same size as a netbook with an 11.6" screen, but weighs just 2.42 pounds. There is a 13" version, as well, and it weighs just over 3 pounds. It is supposed to be lightening quick, one review I saw said it started up and was in Windows 7 in just 20 seconds. And don't get me started on the Bang & Olufson speakers. I actually get a pang of "want" when I think about this laptop for too long.

Finally, Toshiba unveiled a brand new ultrabook that has a 14" screen, is a little over 3/4" thick, and features all the ports you'd expect in a full-sized laptop (3 USB, one of which is a USB 3.0, HDMI, SD card, Ethernet, and mic/headphone sockets). No word on it's exact specs, but it looks like the MacBook Air's darker, more muscular cousin and is supposed to hit the market in June at $799.

Are there any laptops that you are dying to add to your tech corral this year? And are you peeved that I left the HP Envy Spectre ultrabook off my list? My apologies to HP, but as the mother of three sons, I have a gut reaction against anything expensive that claims to be covered entirely in glass. Even Gorilla Glass. I know it's stupid because the glass is scratch-resistant and super tough, but ... I just can't do it.

Favorite Product For Families at CES 2012: The All-In-One PC

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 12:00:08 PST

With only two days at CES (Consumer Electronics Show), I was able to see a mere fraction of the new tech on display, but it was more than enough to make me wonder what rock I've been hiding under to miss the trends that were very much on display at the show. Perhaps it was more a "what rock I've been hiding ON" situation, as my life in England didn't include as much tech-obsession as it does here in the USA.

Even though ultrabooks (ultra light, ultra thin laptops) were the big trend that everyone was going on (and on) about— for me, the big new tech thing at the show that had me most excited for how it might change my life at home, was the advent of the all-in-one PC. I talked about the Vizio one in my last post, specifically about how gorgeous it is and how it will very easily fill the post of TV/computer in any room that you would normally just haul your laptop to. (You can see my first day interviews, including the Vizio line-up coming this Spring, in the Microsoft Windows Experience Blog video below.) But I quickly saw two other all-in-ones that I fell in love with, too, but for different reasons.

The first was a Toshiba DX730 all-in-one that, though not as pretty as the Vizio model, has a touch screen and an incredible price point of $799 or $999. What the ??? I had no idea that there were 23" touch screen monitors, much less entire computer set-ups, available at this price already. The Toshiba, with it's wireless keyboard and mouse, touch screen, built-in speakers and available TV tuner, would make the perfect kitchen PC/TV. The touchscreen is a huge selling point, not only for the convenience it brings in the kitchen (Hello, I can control everything with a knuckle when my fingers are covered in flour or other kitchen mess!), but because it makes the machine ready to take full advantage of the radical redesign of Windows that is coming in the Windows 8 later this year. (I'll talk more about Windows 8 in the next post, but imagine if you could translate your smartphone experience into a more beautiful and much larger scale PC experience. If you've seen the newest Windows Phone OS, then you are looking at Windows 8, for all intents and purposes.)

Personally, I watch almost all my TV while cooking dinner via Hulu+, catching up on all the shows that I miss at night. I refuse to pay for extra DVR boxes with our cable, so using Hulu or Netflix allows me to bring my shows to whatever room I'm in. Right now, my set-up includes my laptop, usually perched precariously near the splash zone of my sink, with an external speaker wired to it; all of which makes for a pretty unsightly set-up with the cables, the speaker, and their power cords—not to mention the huge amount of counter space that it takes up (Of course, it also means that I only had to buy one computer, so there's that!). The Toshiba would be a welcome, clean-cut and utilitarian solution to the problem of needing both a TV and a PC in the kitchen.

On my last day of interviews at CES, I made it over to the Lenovo booth, which was located, not at the conventional (read: boring, predictable) convention hall, but at a slick restaurant/club called Aquaknox, at The Venetian, that they had re-purposed with red lighting, for a week of no-holds-barred Lenovo sexiness. Seriously. I had walked by the "booth" every night in my travels with our Microsoft group and it was closed for a private party each time, music and people spilling out of the space. And their employees had a level of hot-ness that was, ummm,... unusual for the CES venue. Ahem, moving on....

Now, call me out of touch... but I thought that Lenovo, maker of the ThinkPad, was all about stodgy business PCs and laptops. I was like, "Well, okay, I can interview them, but why did you send the 'family reporter' for the job instead of Annie, the student reporter?" My Microsoft guide for CES, Moe, who was phenomenal, was like, "No, no, no, they're in the consumer market, too. You'll see!" And, sure enough, I did. The Lenovo lineup of consumer laptops and PCs were gorgeous, sharp, and trendy enough to turn the heads of all the mommies on the block. And their husbands', too. I'll tell you all about the laptops in another post, but *drool* the IdeaPad Yoga and U310!

I looked specifically at their IdeaCentre A720 (bonus points for the Euro-spelling!), an all-in-one PC with a huge 27" 10-point touch screen, which means that it responds to every finger on your hand, or multiple people touching the screen simultaneously. The machine is stunning—a perfect example of PC manufacturers designing a desktop to move from the office to any room in your home. It is the thinnest PC of it's kind at only 1" thick, which seems impossible, given the size of the screen and that it has to house PC bits, as well.

The A720 has the bonus feature of very niftily folding down onto itself, so it lies flat or at any angle in between. Perfect for board game-style games with the kids or to play a whole host of programs that cater to the tablet app market—I don't want to sound silly, but imagine how tired your arm would get if you had to play touch-screen Angry Birds on an upright screen! Watch this video to get an idea of what I'm talking about.

It really was amazing. And Windows 7 looks gorgeous on it, but, again, as with the Toshiba DX730, the touch screen on the Lenovo A720 leaves it poised to take full advantage of the forthcoming Windows 8 touch interface option.

So, now I am in love with three different all-in-ones, but each for a different reason. I'd take the Vizio, purely on design, the Toshiba for it's sturdy practicality and great price, and the Lenovo for it's cutting edge design and massive touch screen. Needless to say, I am very curious what the price point will be for the Vizio and Lenovo machines, and how quickly Vizio adds a touch screen to it's option list.

2012 promises to be an extremely interesting year as Windows 8 is surely going to transform the PC market upon its arrival.

CES: A Parent in Tech World

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 20:00:19 PST

It’s hard to know where to start when talking about CES, it is, no lie, the biggest event I have ever attended anywhere. And I almost got crushed at a Bon Jovi concert in 1989, so I know what I’m talking about.

150,000 people have converged on Las Vegas to attend the conference and every one of them is involved in the consumer electronics market, either buying or selling. And then there are the press people, who make up a massive part of the attendance. With Microsoft’s help, that’s where I fall into the mix of this year’s CES.

The Microsoft Corp. booth at the Las Vegas convention center, CES 2012.

My first stop at the show was the Microsoft booth, and I use the term “booth” extremely loosely, as it is about 10 times bigger than my house. After checking out the scene and watching the film crew tape a segment with Annie from HerCampus.com, we booked over to the Winn Hotel to see Vizio, who had surprised pretty much everyone the day before by announcing that they had been working with Microsoft to develop a line of ultrabooks and all-in-one desktops for use with Windows 7 (and presumably the forthcoming Windows 8). They traditionally are a television company and it shows in their approach to designing a PC that looks, for all intents and purposes, like a really gorgeous TV.

the laptops were equally beautiful, with the most attractive keyboard I’ve ever seen, and a sleek, burnished metal shell that managed to look somehow coppery, even though it was definitely gray. Even though I couldn’t get the Vizio rep to spill any specific specs on the devices, like how much they weighed, how fast the processors are, or even how big the hard drives are, I was able to disarm him enough to find out that the laptops were looking at a release in the vaguely May-ish timeframe and that it’s fair to assume that the all-in-ones will cost less than a MacBook Pro. Yeah, I’m THAT good. Purrr. ;)

I really have to insist that you take a look at these Vizio machines. The all-in-one is just beautiful; the design is clean, well thought out, and is the first desktop I’ve ever seen that I think could really go toe-to-toe with an aluminum iMac in the looks department. One of my favorite touches is that the surround sound speakers are surreptitiously built into the platform of the monitor and the single cord that leaves the machine is a power cord whose “brick” has been cleverly housed in a subwoofer that sits on the floor. Sweeet. The keyboard, giant trackpad (instead of a mouse) are both wireless, and it includes a very mod looking remote.

It is designed to be a TV/computer showpiece that you’ll be excited for people to see and that you can keep in the living room or other living space. Letting you keep an eye on your kids while they use the computer and keeping the mass of wires on your old PC hidden away in the office. It has two HDMI ports so you can hook your gaming system and a cable box to it, as well, so it can replace a traditional TV in smaller rooms with grace and a more than a little flair. Okay, fine, a whole lotta flair. It really is gorgeous.

I have about four other things I want to share with you, but my schedule keeps grinding on, so it will have to wait!

CES, Microsoft, Gadgets, Ultrabooks, and Vegas, Baby!

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 12:21:23 PST

You all know that I can’t live without my gadgets and computers, so I am immensely excited about heading to Las Vegas tomorrow to work with Microsoft on presenting some of the more exciting parent-centric tech that will be debuted at the Consumer Electronics Show.

In addition to hardware (think thinner, lighter laptops that will be competition for the MacBook Air, tablets, phones, and computer accessories galore), I’ll get to check out some up-and-coming software, like Windows 8, which is supposed to be a streamlined version of Windows 7 (which is a revelation after XP) that is going to pretty much dominate the market after it is released later this year. And who knows what treats I’ll find in the “Mom Tech Zone” in the conference hall!

I’m going to also chat with the founder of a company called AboutOne, a company that is taking a different tack in the family-scheduling in the “cloud” phenomenon (like Windows’ OneNote, Google calendar, EverNote, Producteev or other shared scheduling/list-making apps)—AboutOne lets you put all your pertinent medical info, like what prescriptions each of your children takes, and other “family files” like babysitter permissions, house receipts, school information, etc. into an on-line “file cabinet.” If you lose papers like I do, you can appreciate how awesome this sort of service could be!

I am now checked into my room at Treasure Island and off to meet the Microsoft team. I hope you’ll check out my tweets while at the conference, @theBitchinWife, and back here for updates, and the Windows Experience blog, where they will be posting video of some of my discoveries on Tuesday and Wednesday night.

If you are curious to see what might be happening this week at CES, you can watch the keynote with Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer on the Microsoft Facebook page at 6:30pm PT tonight.

Also don’t miss the Tuesday Tech Chat on Twitter!

To participate in the Tech Tuesday Live Twitter Chat:

Join us from 12-1 PT (3-4 ET) on Twitter
Follow the hashtag #win7tech
Follow @windows, @thebitchinwife, @robynsworld, @hercampus, @kristinalibby, @brandonleblanc, @benthepcguy, @daniellaycock, and @windowsblog to make sure you get the whole picture.

2011: The Year of Living Dangerously Close to the Edge

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 14:06:32 PST

I keep waiting for a year to come along that isn’t marked with adventures that keep life constantly in flux, but 2011 never even pretended to be such a year. It was all smack-talk and bluster right from the get-go.

Looking back over some of the events that made this year unique (our weather-foiled plans to get to the USA for Christmas and New Year’s, a hospital stay in February, a sun-kissed vacation to the Grecian isle of Rhodes in April, moving from England back to Wisconsin, health insurance worries, and getting reacquainted with the joys and affirmation that come from being gainfully employed-- just to name a few.) I’ve come to the realization that, despite my occasional anxiety over whether this life is one I am even somewhat temperamentally-suited for, I have landed exactly where I’m meant to be and it’s high time I start taking the time to try and figure out what it all means to me.

When I was a girl growing up on an isolated dairy farm in Missouri, I used books, music, computer games, movies, and my own elaborate fantasies of future fame and fortune to stave off the boredom that I felt constantly threatened my solitary country life. I always felt like I was too big, too much, too something for my quiet, rural surroundings and made myself insufferable for it, I’m sure, by the time high school rolled around.

In all seriousness, though, I can’t help but think about how much all the technology and internet resources available now could have changed my life back then… in good ways and bad, too, I’m sure. On one hand, I can only imagine the YouTube videos and animations I could’ve put all that creativity and endless curiosity of my youth into, using up all the many, many hours of free-time that I had to spare. On the other, I might’ve ended up squandering away all my time and just getting in tons of trouble on-line for doing all kinds of stupid things that only a super-ego inflated teenager is capable of. It remains what it was, however: years of reading anything I could lay my hands on and prepping to become the ultimate Master of Trivial Pursuit. Or to get into a great university. Whatever came first.

Back to my point: Even though I yearned for all the thrills of a life lived large in the city, I’m also a dedicated homebody who not only relishes my time alone-I need it. I never stopped to consider that a life of excitement, travel, children and marriage would be so fucking BUSY.

I hate to put it this way, but, honestly, my life requires way more active participation than I ever anticipated or desired. If I had my druthers, I’d like the occasional adventure followed by lots of time to examine it, understand it, find the humor in it and then entertain friends with the re-telling of it. But everything has been happening so quickly over the past few years, I’ve hardly had a chance to make a voice memo on my cel phone to remind me of an adventure that happened, much less write it down. And forget about examining or gaining a deeper understanding of it and telling a story only once is what I call “practice,” not actual story-telling.

So, even though I embrace the adventure that my marriage and children have brought to my life and I accept that I am as well-suited to this type of life as anyone could be…

I am resolved that in 2012, I will slow down and start writing about my life, travel, friendships, good fortune, and all the moments that really made me throw my hands up and hope to God that there was some kind of plan in place for me because I surely had shot all my own plans to shit.

Before I get a chance to do that, though, I still need to get my ass back to Wisconsin from gorgeous New Year’s vacation in Sarasota, Florida and a detour on the way home in Atlanta, to visit with great friends (and Destructo’s possible future wife, according to his 9-year-old heartfelt protestations of undying love) for a couple days.

After that, I’ll be heading to Las Vegas to the Consumer Electronics Show to cover the event for Microsoft. I don’t have a link up in my sidebar yet, but I joined their Windows Champions program a couple months ago because I am a huge believer in their Live Writer program for bloggers and Windows 7. I’m going to be turned loose at the conference with a film crew to find some of the coolest new tech from Microsoft (who is debuting some goodies from Windows 8) and others that I think we (you, me, other parent-minded people) can’t live without or will wish you had over the next year. It should be super fun, provided I don’t try and impress anyone by trying to wear heels all day.

Happy New Year!!!

Savoring Time With Friends, Plus A Chance To Win $100 from Serve

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 09:14:30 PST

This post is sponsored by Serve from American Express. Sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account!

It seems lately that everyone I know is going through the same "lean years" of marriage and friendships that my husband and I are. If you don't know instinctively what that phrase lean years means, 1.) I envy you, and 2.) it's that time in a marriage or life when the kids are a bit older, possibly even more emotionally exhausting than they were as toddlers, and have more activities that they need to be driven to, jobs are more intense as the drive to earn more money becomes more intense so you can pay for life you've grown accustomed to and college—which is looming on the horizon now—all of which conspires to make less time to hang out with your spouse or friends.

My husband and I work hard to make sure we always get some time for just the two of us every week, but I feel like the only time I really get to catch up with anyone else is at the bus stop or during book club—and as much as I love 2 and a half minute conversations and shouting my latest shopping conquest over a glass of pinot, I crave a closer connection with my girlfriends.

Enter: A dinner for four. It seems nuts that this might be a foreign concept, but usually going out is all about big groups for birthdays, just me and my husband, or us going out with one other couple. For this night out I really wanted two of my neighborhood friends to spend time with a friend who lives further afield. I had a hunch that they would all get along really well, but hadn't been able to connect them in previous attempts made at parties with too many people in attendance—a party for four would be perfect.

And [patting self on back], I was right.

Our friendships had developed individually through the prism of motherhood... but as our eldest children turn into teens and our youngest start school, each of us is now stretching our wings and working on redefining ourselves as women with other goals and ideas. Designs that are still enveloped in the over-riding need to care for our families, to be sure—but the desire to make our individual marks on the world has surfaced and we've started taking steps toward achieving them. Steffani (aka @stitchcoach) has published a book in the past year, Terri has been back at her OT job part-time, and Mel has created Mel's Green Garden (@melsgreengarden), which grew from her passion for organic gardening.

It is such a gratifying thing to see the whole of my friends, not just the entertaining, cheerful or harried moms that used to arrive at weekly play dates or the slightly inebriated, "everything's great!" off-duty wives of book clubs past. I like seeing the ambitious strivers peeking through the relative comfort we all live in as "stay at home moms"—it makes me feel like I'm getting to see them when they were young and hungry to establish themselves in their careers. And that makes me love them all the more.

So, mission accomplished: we had a fabulous time over dinner at my favorite place, Lombardino's. After the dinner, instead of embarrassing myself, as usual, trying to split the bill with painfully slow mental math, we used the handy bill + tip calculator that the Serve app has built into it and paid for dinner. The trick here is that I had actually promised to take them out... my treat. But I didn't have the money to do so because I was so busy last month I apparently gave the wrong email out. Several times. So I didn't have the money in my account that I thought would be there!

Yeah—I'm that friend.

But with Serve, it totally wasn't a problem—because the next day, when I got the money deposited in the right account (phew!), all I had to do was open up the Serve app on my phone, find them in my contacts (which the app automatically detects on my phone) and then email each of them the $49 that they had put in for dinner the night before. So much easier than if I'd had to write checks and deliver them to each friend... or make them wait a month until I saw them again... or the hassle of going to the ATM to get cash and then manage to somehow not spend it before I actually them again.

Did someone say cheese for dessert?

Please tell me I'm not the only person here who has gone almost five months before paying back a friend for covering me at a dinner. Anyone? Please?

A Serve account is ridiculously easy to set up online (www.serve.com/blog)—you can transfer money into it from your bank and then send that money to friends (who also have accounts) via their email address. The money in your account can either be transferred out or it can be spent via a linked Serve credit card that is accepted anywhere American Express is (you get the card in the mail just a few days after setting up the account online). It makes handling money among friends really easy—so you never have to worry about hunting someone down to give them a check again. It's like analog payments among friends has finally gone digital! Something I can totally get down with.

As you know, I was sponsored to try the Serve account, but I am recommending it to all my friends because it really is the easiest way to pay people back in this busy world we live in. Now, go sign up and then leave a comment so you can hopefully win $100 to help pay for some of your holiday goodies. :)

Remember to sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account! Official sweepstakes rules and regulations may be found by clicking here. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Anyone Else Late Ordering Their Holiday Cards?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:13:51 PST

I am chronically late with my holiday cards, in fact, I think this one is technically, oh, about three years late. Ahem. But better late than never, right!

So, I was pretty proud of myself for getting my act collected and starting work on our Christmas card last week when there was a 30% off sale on all the Shutterfly cards. But, of course, I then procrastinated... and found that the sale was over when I put the cards in my cart.

Now, if you are like me and refuse to buy anything without a discount code in the weeks running up to Christmas, I did what any self-respecting social media addict does: I went to twitter to ask if anyone had discount codes for Shutterfly cards.

And, as always, my fantastic twitter peeps came through. In fact, I used the SHIP50 code to cover shipping and MERRY40 to save 40%... all in all helping me save $99 on my order. Nice.

Thank you, my on-line friends! Have a wonderful holiday!!

5x7 Folded Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Parenting 911: What To Do When Your Child Is Failing at School

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:25:10 PST

Or, What To Do When Your School is Failing Your Child. Or, The Heartbreak and Hope of a Child’s IEP, Part I.

Many of you probably don’t know what an IEP is, nor will ever have occasion to find out. I didn’t know what one was, either, until a few years ago. I certainly never thought I’d be a parent that was not only acquainted with, but well-versed enough in Individualized Education Plans (IEP’s) to write about them on-line. Like I am about to do right now, as it turns out.

Three years ago, my husband and I were devastated when our then six-year-old son’s teacher proposed getting an IEP in place to get him “extra help” at school. I swear she said “extra support,” but all I could hear was “special ed” and think about it with the narrow-minded point of view that years of childhood mean-spirited-ness, movies and television had impressed on my mind. I was so shaken by the words that I momentarily lost faith that our little boy was as clever and outstanding as I had always thought he was. I allowed a label that is so deeply imbued with negativity and prejudice to color my view of our precious son. Where I had always laughed in the knowledge that he seemed to be cut from a different cloth and was happy to walk to the beat of his own drum… I faltered and wondered if he could somehow be less than what I had believed.

It is a shameful moment in hindsight, but where some parents approach their parenting like mama bears protecting their cubs, automatically leaping to their child’s defense in any situation, I am not programmed like that. When a teacher tells me that my child is not performing or is causing trouble in class, I believe them. It is that simple. I don’t assume they are wrong and must’ve misinterpreted my kid, I trust that my little gems have shown their teachers the same not-so-charming traits that surface at home occasionally and I say, “I will talk to him about it and make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Or, when they aren’t performing up to standard, “OK, they aren’t succeeding, so what can we do to make this better?”

When our IEP was proposed, it came to me awash with feelings of not only my child being inadequate is some way, but that I, as his parent, had failed, too. That I might be responsible because I didn’t do flash cards with him at three, work on math puzzles after school, or that I let him play too many video games. No matter how much I might tell myself that I don’t base my own self-worth on the successes or failures of my children, it is impossible to completely remove myself from the equation when it involves a person that shares half my genes and is the repository for not a small amount of my hopes and aspirations.

After a tearful meeting with the school psychologist, counselor and his teacher, I was so relieved to find out that I could not have misunderstood or belittled special education more. Where I had thought of an IEP as a means for schools to segregate the “dummies” from the average and gifted kids, it turns out that the children who need extra support “getting it” with a certain subject, need that extra help for a variety of reasons that often have little or nothing to do with their mental capacity. And the extra support a school can provide through an IEP is vital because if they don’t get that extra help now, they will be behind forever and might end up going through life thinking they’re an idiot when they are most definitely not.

Somewhere along the way I had conveniently forgotten that two years before I was invited to participate in the gifted and talented program at my grade school, I was the recipient of an IEP. I had never thought of it that way before, I guess, and had honestly almost forgotten that I had ever been ashamed that I needed to go to the “math trailers” for the entirety of fourth grade. (A bit of explanation: all the special education took place in trailers behind our grade school because there wasn’t space inside the main building or enough money to build more rooms.) I remember asking my mom and dad to not tell my older siblings that I had to go because I didn’t want them to tease me or call me stupid, but my strongest memory of that entire year’s experience was the simple joy I got out of going to the trailers and enjoying math instead of being so terrified of it that I would get stomach aches and diarrhea, like I had during third grade. With only five kids in the group, I not only started “getting it,” I actually got pretty good at it.

I know now that if I hadn’t gotten the help I needed, when I needed it in fourth grade, I never would’ve been asked to be part of the gifted program. And, I will happily admit, being part of that group of 6th-grade geeks and nerdettes was probably the most formative school experience I had in grade school and played a crucial part in shaping my self-image, identity and confidence in school for years.

Once I heard what the school staff had to say and took the time to saunter down my own memory lane, I could finally let go of my ill-formed notions of what an IEP is. I was able to not only get over it, but ended up being happy that the school was aware and proactive enough to identify that my son needed one before he lagged too far behind and was able to provide the support to put a plan in place.

I used to laugh ruefully sometimes that parenting is the incremental lowering of expectations one has for their children. But I realize now that it’s not that my expectations are being lowered – they are simply adjusted to meet the needs of my children, not my ego.

No matter what kind of troubles your child is having at school, don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to their teacher about what can be done to help him or her succeed. I have found that teachers are sometimes reticent to say exactly what they mean unless prompted, so it can be a tough conversation. I only made it through a round of parent/teacher conferences without crying for the first time last year (that’s six years of kleenex, folks), so if you’re just getting started with this, I feel your pain and won’t lie to you that it will get easier. It doesn’t, as long as your child continues to struggle.

IEPs can help immensely in making things better for kids who aren’t able to “connect all the pieces” at school and in most cases you are the only person who will advocate for your child to get the assessments to determine what help is needed. So step up, let go of any out-dated bullshit that is keeping you from embracing what schools will do for kids these days, and be your kid’s advocate.

I’ve got tons more to say about this, as my eldest son is just embarking on the IEP process at the tender age of 12 – about five years later than he probably should have – but I will save it for another post.

Oh, I Give Up — This Christmas Ad Just Put Me In the Holiday Spirit

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 06:06:11 PST

I know it is only November 11. I KNOW.

I have successfully avoided getting all hot and bothered over the pre-Thanksgiving Christmas hoopla for years... Years! But this year I am giving up and succumbing to the pressure. I am going to ignore the fact that it is pressure and excitement manufactured by giant retailers whose goal is to get me to spend more money. I am going to shrug off the fact that it still seems wrong to start planning for a holiday that is still a month and a half away.

I am going to just let go and enjoy the feeling that this Christmas ad just conjured up in me. I hope you will, too. Warning: I didn't just well up a little at the end, I actually full-on spilled tears from both eyes and almost let a sob escape. That may have more to do with my PMS, though. And the fact that it has an absolutely lovely cover of Morrissey's "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want."

FYI: John Lewis advertises on my site, but this post was not sponsored or encouraged by their company in any way. In fact, I became aware of the advert through the tweets of @Mammy_P and @caitlinmoran, who apparently wept for three minutes after watching it.

Would You Let Your Child Have a Television in Their Room?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sun, 30 Oct 2011 06:40:15 PDT

TVs designed for children's rooms. ©Soctech

I was just reading the annual report released by Commonsense Media and while many of the statistics about children and screen time are shocking, I was most taken aback by their statistic regarding how many children have televisions in their rooms.

42% of children under 8 years old have a TV in their bedrooom — 30% of 0- to 1-year-olds, 44% of 2- to 4-year-olds, and 47% of 5- to 8-year-olds.

I know every child is different, but my experience as a parent is that children under 8 are not known for their self-regulating abilities. In fact, for the under-six set, they pretty much do whatever they can to test every limitation you try and impose. What? Your kids don't do that? We don't even allow our kids to keep their Nintendo DSi's in their rooms!

Without even getting into the whole issue of child obesity rates reaching epidemic levels in the USA and how children with TVs in their room are probably leading more sedentary lives — What does this statistic say about the state of the family dynamic in our country?

I am happy to provide a space for our kids (ages 5, 9, and 12) to play the Wii and watch DVDs (no access to cable or internet) on their own, but it is still a public space in the house that I can monitor when they are using it rand I can walk in to check at any time. I can't imagine turning them loose on their own with access to those things or cable, DVRs, and the internet in an unsupervised area like their rooms. I'd never see my 12-year-old except at dinner-time, I'm sure of it!

Despite the fact that my kids may drive me crazy, making me wish they'd spend more time in their rooms sometimes, I value the time that I spend with and watching them run around the house. I like knowing what they are watching and talking to them about it. I want them to be around and part of my routine and, more importantly, I want them to view *me* as a fixture in their day. They need to know that I am around and will hold them accountable for the choices they make. I don't want them holed up in their rooms, being influenced by the characters of some tv show that makes my skin crawl.

I got a TV in my room when I was 9, with the extenuating circumstance being constant squabbling with my much older siblings over what to watch on the family TV and my constant campaign against my parents to relent and allow me this little bit of freedom from my brother and sisters' tv tyranny. There are so many reasons why things are different today than when I was a kid, though. The content of even basic network television being the number one difference. I remember loathing Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere as a child because they were all boring and talk-y, so I hope that children now would also shun the worst offenders on the networks for violence and sex. But with shows like Gossip Girl portraying the glamorous life of money, sex, drinking and drugs... Say goodbye to your innocent tween forever.

As long as the pervasiveness of cable with its options of The Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and Nick Jr. pumping out content aimed at children 24 hours a day, I cannot believe that almost half of the parents in our country would allow their kids to have a television in their room.

What do you think about this statistic? Do you believe it? I don't personally know anyone who allows their kids to have a TV in their room, but I also live in a neighborhood that is fairly affluent, very white, and liberal, so know that it is not the norm. If you do think a TV in your child's room is okay, at what age did you allow it? What factors went into your decision?

Stefanie at Ooph.com is also writing about this same issue today on her site (click HERE to read Stefanie's article). We started the conversation on twitter a few days ago and were overwhelmed with the visceral response that it invoked from many of our friends there and wanted to explore the issue further. Stefanie tweets at @ooph, follow her because she is, quite simply, a fantastic person.

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I've written a few articles about related things on Strollerderby, if you want to read more:Are Anti-Obesity Ads Too Harsh or Just What the Doctor Ordered?
Could Home Ec Help Solve America's Obesity Problem?Lawsuit Charges General Mills' With Deceptively Advertising Fruit Snacks As Healthy

Things Only the Mother of Boys Could Say

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 20:55:23 PDT

As the mother of three sons, I'm of the opinion that life has already handed me more than enough surprises. But being a mother of said amount of boys seems to make one surprising thing after another come out of my mouth.

I mean, fifteen years ago I never could've predicted that I would one day be yelling from the kitchen, "BOYS! Stop grabbing your brother's balls!!" Nor that I would follow it up five minutes later with, "Stop it with the ball-grabbing or you will both be sent to your rooms until dinner!"

Boys have brought me low, my friends. VERY low, indeed.

But, they have also brought me moments of hearty and sustained laughter that can only come from laughing at your boy-child (while simultaneously cheering him on, of course) at his first hockey lessons. Watch this and then imagine that there was a full half hour of little bodies staggering, wobbling, and falling all over the ice. Constantly. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, so help me.

My little guy is #45. I would be the one barely containing my cackling in the audio track. I love the contrast of the one mom yelling encouragement to her son, while some dad and I are just hooting at how absurd all the little drunkards on ice look. Thank goodness for all that padding they wear, because I wouldn't feel nearly so good about my uncontrollable mirth if there was a chance that someone could actually get hurt.

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In other news, life over on babble.Com at strollerderby, is keeping me BUSY. As I near the end of my fourth month writing for them, I am happy as can be about my position there. I love that they allow me to write in my own voice and interject my opinions about the news I am writing about in, what I think, a meaningful way.

Here are links to some of my favorite pieces in the last few weeks:

Is Four Too Young for an ADHD Diagnosis? — This one really got me. Even though I 100% believe that kids with ADHD benefit from medication when it comes to attending school and making friends... the thought of medicating FOUR-year-olds just terrifies me. They are just so little! And why should we need four-year-olds to sit still long enough to make the medication necessary?

Common-Sense Strategies to Turn Your Kids (Especially Boys) into Voracious Readers — This one got me, too, because I feel like it's a lesson that I came to too late. No worse feeling in the world...

2011′s Most Embarrassing Halloween Costumes: Gallery of Shame and Epically Geeky and Fantastically Creative Costumes For The Coolest Kids on the Block — I combed through a ton of costume sites and flickr to find all of these costumes. Totally laughed myself silly writing the first one and was green with envy over the creativity of the costumes in the second one.

Ten Husband-Inspired Pet Peeves That Make Me Crazy — This one I just posted today. I love the affirmation in the comments. My pet peeves are not far off from your pet peeves. Or maybe the lesson is that all men are the same. I'm not sure.

The Recession of Manhood — This post was a rare moment where my old-fashioned, conservative came out to talk about how new-fangled parenting techniques might be part of the problem for why young men are doing not-so-well these days. There are many persuasive comments about how it is the girl-centric education system of the USA that is at the root of the problem, but I remain unconvinced.
I Want a “Mommy Salary” — This one had me looking like some kind of throwback from the 50's, too, but I still think it is an interesting concept for getting the world to value what the stay-at-home-parent does more. Again, the comment section (when not blasting me) offers some really great budgeting options to keep things "fair" in household money management.

My Baby Loses His First Tooth... Wait, What??

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 10:27:58 PDT

I'd like to share a letter I just sent to my five year old son's teacher.

Hi Mr. Doe:

Random!

I was going through The Animal's things from school and happened upon a plastic baggie with his name on it... The bag contained a wee little tooth. After a near meltdown that I had somehow managed to not notice that my youngest son had lost his first tooth (presumably last Friday, since the stuff I was going through was from his weekend papers), I called him over to see where it had come from. He showed me his bottom teeth and said "It already grew back. Look!"

Um...

I said, "Sweetie, whose tooth is this? Where did it come from?"

To which he cried plaintively, "What?! I found it on the floor!!" Like that automatically made it his.

So. I have this tooth...

I'll put it in his backpack tomorrow for you to reclaim and hopefully give to its rightful owner.

;)

Amy

Does this happen to other people??

Where Did My America Go?

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 16:05:58 PDT

If someone told me ten years ago that I would be flying from Chicago to London on 9/11 I would've said, "I don't bloody think so." And yet... here I am. Now in England, after flying out last night from O'Hare, I'm taking care of some business, visiting friends, and wishing I didn't have to return to the mess that awaits me at home.

Life is a strange and twisty ride. I remember, like every other American (and resident of Earth who cares about America), exactly where I was ten years ago when those towers fell. Watching in horror and confusion in my tv room while clutching my toddler and trying to not completely fall apart so he wouldn't freak out. I remember trying to explain to him that some very bad people were attacking a city in America and that it was going to mean war, even though we didn't know with whom it would be. I guess I probably failed at that "not freaking him out" thing a little bit, but he asked.

So when I staggered off the plane this morning, exhausted and a little emotional, and already thrown a little off-kilter by having to adjust back to driving a car on the wrong side of the road, I was taken a bit by surprise when the guard at Enterprise asked me if I remembered where I was 10 years ago exactly on this day. Then he shared his own experience with me, saying that someone yelled it out on the street and he went into a bar to see what was going on (it was the afternoon here) and stayed there with many others, all watching in disbelief that something like that would happen in America.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've been dwelling a lot lately on how different I feel like the world is today from that horrifying day ten years ago. A day that manages somehow to seem like just yesterday, but also like an eon ago.

I was looking through hundreds and hundreds of photos of 9/11 on flickr, putting together a slideshow for Strollerderby, and remembered how unified the country felt after the terror of that day. Everyone was going through the horror together. Everyone was trying to make sense of it. Everyone wanted to help. I felt so proud of our country during those weeks. Proud that differences could be set aside and everyone walked in lockstep, thinking only of how we could recover from this evil blow. I felt proud when our soldiers swept into Afganistan to sweep out as many caves as they could.

But then things started to go wrong. The country started to divide over how and if Iraq was involved. My husband and I had to agree to never speak about politics because it was a sure-fire way to get in a shouting match.

I developed a deep, almost pathological hatred of George W. Bush that rose from the sense of betrayal I felt when he led our country down this destructive, never-ending path of war that is sucking our country dry.

I watched in dismay as the Republicans ran away with what they called a "mandate" and created a budget of more spending and less taxes that would never do anything but cripple our country.

Today, after two years of living in England and exercising a willful ignorance of what was happening in American politics (I still don't know exactly how this whole "tea party" thing came to pass, so help me), I watch in shock and disbelief as the two sides of our government display how very wide the chasm has grown between them.

I heard a quote from someone in the WSJ the other day on NPR that went something like this: What can be done when a section of our government would "rather see their country fail, than their president succeed?" It scared me because it's true. This Boehner man's insolence to President Obama is unfathomable. I remember Newt Gingrich and other Republicans being rude about Clinton in the aftermath of the Monica Lewinski scandal, but where is the scandal and betrayal in being a level-headed, reasonable man trying to lead our country through difficult days? Where is the scandal in expecting civility from the Congress and Senate?

I wonder why nobody in our government is willing to make the hard decisions that need to be made to fix the mess that we now have on our hands. After living in the UK for two years, I see how much COULD be taxed, but isn't, in this country of ours. I wonder why everyone is so afraid of taxes.

Would a 5¢ tax on every gallon of gas really push American citizens over the edge? What about a 5% federal sales tax on luxury items (i.e. anything that isn't food or necessary to live)? Would this small amount of money really be so difficult for people to give and for politicians to ask for?

I don't understand why nobody is asking for me to make a monetary sacrifice to help our country regain it's footing in the world. I don't understand why being willing to pay more taxes makes me so liberal that I'm worthy of Republican scorn. And I really don't understand how wanting a health care system that has to answer to some governmental regulation that would help people who desperately need health care get it is something that Republicans can rally their forces to oppose.

It just doesn't make sense. Not to me. And I don't think any of it makes sense for our country.

I want the America back that buckles down and understands that you have to work double hard if you want to succeed. I want the America that understands that sacrifice can mean big rewards later. I want an America that cares about every American, not just the ones that can pay their own way. I want an America that spends more on butter, not guns.

Is this an America that can exist?

My Life: Boys 24/7 (School Can't Start Soon Enough)

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 09:38:29 PDT

We've been hanging in our partially furnished house for a week now and the boys have loved running amok in the neighborhood with their old gang. This is super for them and barely tolerable for any adult who happens to be present when the thundering herd arrives in their home. As far as I can tell, the pack wanders from house to house all day long, searching for snacks and unlimited TV time inside alternating with water balloon wars and nerf gun volleys outside.

God grant me the serenity to make it until Thursday when school finally starts. And then grant me the ability to make it through each and every day of this school year, as my children are divided up, thanks to our wacky school district, between THREE schools. The Animal is starting kindergarten at the k-2 school, Destructo is going into 4th at the 3-5 one, and then Capt. Chaos is heading to middle school (God bless his pre-adolescent soul). The good news is that they will all be safely ensconced in their various schools, or on a bus heading there, by 7:30am. Then I can coast until 2:30 when they all start arriving home.

Did I say coast? What a joke. Our container, recently released from a customs check (that we were charged $310 for enduring, thankyouverymuch), arrives the same day the boys start school! And then we are hoping to get back to the cottage in Iowa for the Labor Day weekend. It is going to be really tough leaving the house full of unopened boxes, but I've got high hopes that I will be able to let it go. And after two months of living completely out of the suitcases we brought from England, I think I might be able to make it a few more days.

Meanwhile, I am just finishing up my first month writing for StrollerDerby at Babble.com. I love having a place to talk about the many things I'm interested in that don't really fit here on my blog and I really love that I am now getting paid to read the NY Times and for the feverish link-clicking that I used to do for free! Heh.

If you want to check out some of the highlights from this month, here's a round-up of some of my favorites:

Why We Need to Encourage Our Boys' Friendships - "Stop acting like a little girl." "Big boys don't cry." These are the kinds of things parents say that reinforce the our culture's idea of masculinity that says men need to be unemotional, in control, and self-reliant. Gender stereotypes continue to plague boys and recent studies have shown that their effects can impact their physical health, not just their emotional well-being. MORE

Humorous Toddler Tshirts: Merely Inappropriate to Downright Offensive - As the old saying goes, "There's no accounting for people's tastes." And so it is with this round-up of t-shirts available for your 1-6 year old. I won't lie to you, a few of them made me laugh. The same kind of naughty cackles that fuel every viewing of Superbad and The Hangover. But just because we laugh doesn't mean we'll actually help our child into one before we leave the house. Unless you want to and that is totally your prerogative! MORE

Ten Ways to Tighten Your Gucci Belt In a Bear Market - As I watched my children's college fund disappear in the stock market free fall over the last week, I resolved to start cutting back on the extras that I am guilty of indulging in. Don't worry, I'm not thinking about changing my entire lifestyle or anything! I just want to figure out where I can save some bucks and make some of those much-touted "baby steps" toward fiscal responsibility that the economists keep harping on about. MORE

Photo: Where Children Sleep

Haunting Images of "Where Children Sleep" From Around the World - The 56 diptychs in his book, Where Children Sleep, cover a wide swath of children in all kinds of living situations and the overall effect is one that is haunting and a little disturbing. The children's rooms are portrayed as their occupants desired, full of their belongings, personalities, and "cultural circumstance." The children, in an effort to put them all on equal ground, were photographed in front of a neutral background. Their outfits, striking in some cases, and eyes, striking in every case, are what will stay with you in the end. MORE to see the slideshow.

International Calls? No Problem. International Giveaway of a 32gb iPad 2? Also No Problem (With Vonage)!

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 09:46:59 PDT

I lived in the UK for two years and you know how many times I used my mobile phone to make calls home to the USA? Ummm, ONCE. After a lot of hemming and hawing, I finally managed to figure out how to sign up for some cheap-o international calling number plan online, got the text confirmation, typed in my pin and made that one call. I tried using it several other times in the following months, only to find that my £10 credit had disappeared! And then I stupidly topped up another £5 only to find that none of my calls would connect.

I WISH Vonage's Time To Call app had been around while I was there because it is ridiculously easy to use and you only pay when you use it. And, to make it even easier, you pay for your calls through your iTunes account, so you don't have to worry about signing up with a credit card online and then dealing with special numbers to call. Best of all? You can not only call internationally from the States and Canada using your iPhone and 3G network, you can call from anywhere in the world via wi-fi.

Fortunately, since I am still flying back to the UK on a pretty regular basis to visit friends and get my anglo-fix on, I will now be able to use my US iPhone to call home when I'm in wi-fi zones instead of sweating an expensive international calling plan or buying a pay-as-you-go phone while there.

Also, did I mention that it was easy?

Before I get to the part where I tell you all about Vonage giving you a chance to win an iPad 2 32gb tablet, I'll tell you how you can make an international call from your iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch via the Time To Call app.

First: Download the Time to Call™ app for iPhone
Second: Select the country you want to call
Third: Tap the Buy button on your screen and dial the number you want to call – no service plan is required and your call is billed directly to your iTunes account
Fourth: Call mobile or landline numbers and talk for up to 15 minutes
· For a limited time, each download includes a FREE call of up to 15 minutes to landlines and mobile phones in any one of 100 countries. Activate your FREE call to take advantage of this offer. No purchase necessary.**

Wait. Was that too hard? Here it is again, even easier:

So go download the app now. I'll wait. OK, now you are all set up and the next time you are out of the country and think, "Oh, crikey! I need to call home!" you can pat yourself on the back for remembering to download the Time To Call app and then use it as soon as you're in a Wi-Fi zone.

A few more nuts and bolts that are important to note:

Pay per call and talk up to 15 minutes to 100 countries for $1.99 or less¹
For an additional 90+ countries, talk up to 15 minutes for $2.99 to $9.99¹
FREE download
No need to be a Vonage home customer
The app will be available for Android phones soon!

OK. So here's the part you were waiting for: Vonage is giving away an iPad 2, 32gb plus a $15 iTunes card (the prize will be in the form of $715 in iTunes cards) to one lucky reader of Bitchin' Wives Club. And I am so happy to tell all my BFF's in England, France, and around the world that this giveaway is open to them, too. Because that is how Vonage rolls, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.

You do need to do a couple things before you are eligible to win, of course.

You must leave a comment telling me where you dream of calling home from with the Time To Call app . (I dream of calling my husband and kids from a wee chalet in Switzerland, where I imagine myself on a writing sabbatical among the evergreens, the mountains, and pristine streams and lakes.)
You must also "Like" Bitchin' Wives Club on facebook. I know you really "Love" me, but I can't figure out how to hack facebook to change it. I am making it very easy for you to do this one: look over there in the right-hand sidebar ----> and then click the Like button in the facebook box or click the thumbs up at the bottom of the post. OR, you can follow me on twitter and tweet about the giveaway. If you are uninspired, you can use one of these handy tweets I made for you:

Don't even think about entering to win this iPad2 b/c you'll ruin MY chances! Via @theBitchinWife & @Vonage bit.ly/njLPFf #TimeToCall

Or:

I'll cry if you win & I don't, but I'm still compelled to tell you about @theBitchinWife's iPad 2 giveaway. bit.ly/njLPFf #TimeToCall

Just let me know in your comment whether you Liked or Tweeted and you will be entered.

If you're feeling unlucky and like you should cover every karmic base at your disposal to get your mojo on, you could go Like Vonage on facebook, too. AND follow @Vonage and then tweet like crazy about this giveaway with the hashtag #TimeToCall.

If you are super-ultra-motivated (and who isn't when it comes to winning an iPad?) you can also go to Gear Live Venturus and Gear Live for two more chances to win. And then after that, you can go to http://www.callsfromsmartphone.com/ to check Vonage's giveaway schedule, because they are giving away iPads almost every day until the end of August!

Some conditions apply (because they always do) and you need to be aware of them: if you win a prize on one of the other websites running this promotion with Vonage, then you can’t win again in the whole competition. Depending on where the winners live they may receive the Apple iPad 2 32 GB WiFi, or the equivalent on a local Apple Gift Card to use at the Apple Store online.

Disclosure: Vonage gave me $30 in iTunes gift cards to review the Time To Call app. Vonage is supplying the prize for this giveaway, but I am running the show for the giveaway. The contest ends at midnight on August 26th, 2011 and a winner will be selected at random. There will be only one entry per person. I will know if you didn't really tweet or facebook me, so don't get cheeky. Mwaahaaahaa!

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*****THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED*****

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Congratulations to Hannah, aka @hannahmdy, of Sheffield, England. Her comments didn't register with DISQUS so they can't be seen below, but came through the Blogger comment system and the time stamp confirmed her as the winner.

Congratulations Hannah and I hope to hear from you via the Vonage Time To Call app very soon!

Some Heartfelt Advice To Brands From A BlogHer Believer

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 09:40:41 PDT

Let me start off by saying that I love the Clever Girls Collective. I have been a member since almost the beginning. I LOVE that they have put together a vast range of bloggers from all sizes and degrees of popularity and can give small-fry bloggers like me a chance to make $50 here and there with a sponsored post. I believe in the company and the brand they have built.

So when I found out they were going to host a party at BlogHer, I was really excited. I was PUMPED. I was so excited about their Rock Star theme that I even bedazzled a dress with a sequined Union Jack flag just to wear on the big night! I was stoked for it even after they announced that Ubisoft, their main sponsor and a company that I adore and loved working with in England, was going to be promoting The Smurfs movie via their new Smurfs-themed Just Dance game for kids. I remained enthusiastic, even though my heart sank because, well, rarely does a movie come along with STINKER written as clearly across it as The Smurfs did. They were still pushing the Rock Star theme over the Smurf theme, though, so I thought they’d figure something out to make it cool, not painful. I believed in this party so much that I volunteered to appear in the Clever Girl video they put together of bloggers lip-synching to P!nk’s Raise Your Glass while dressed like a trashy 80’s rocker in my back yard, for crying out loud. The video, btw, is le awesome.

P!nk–Raise Your Glass with the “Cleverist P!nk Divas”

So, to say the least, I had a lot of hope invested in this party. And, …you can tell where I am going with this, right? Sigh.

I was so disappointed. It seemed like all the elements were there: giddy anticipation, promise of meaningful interactions with great companies, great location, beautiful night…

I’m not sure exactly why the vibe was off, but it just felt like not that many people were having a great time while I was there, and I was, honestly, a little confused as to what and where all the sponsors were—I mean besides the Smurfs, which you certainly couldn’t miss. There was a Nintendo guy at, essentially, a tall card table, handing out cards and taking cards to give away a few 3DS’. Maybe Nintendo was too busy planning their private event that was happening the next night to put any effort into this one? There was a room I walked into that had… um, nothing in it? I remember vaguely that maybe there was something on a table, but there wasn’t a rep around to talk about what it was. So I walked out after the women in the room stared at me for a second. There was a room on the other side of the pool that I never even went into, mostly because I was afraid it was just another space to feel awkward standing around in. Maybe that was where the Ep!phanie Bags rep was? I don’t know. There were some very nice people at a centrally located booth giving away these giant pink Modify watches, but I couldn’t discern what the watch had to do with what their company was about. Their product sounded cool (wish I could remember what it was!), but none of the reps were handing out cards and their product hadn’t yet launched, so…

The one sponsor (or hired company, I don’t know) that totally nailed it was A Fun Company. They had this awesome booth set up where you got all these silly props and they took a video of you in front of a white screen, which they then turned into a flip book. Very cool and Loukia and I rocked it out. Along with everyone else who did it. The energy level while in that line was great and the take home flip book was one of my favorite take home items from the entire conference.

So what went wrong? And, hey, maybe 90% of the people there had the best night of their lives! I could be way off-base. But I’ve talked to a few people and they all agreed that something just wasn’t clicking, so I’m going to have to go with my gut on this one.

For me, there were three problems:

1.) The Audio portion of the party was off in almost every regard. There were two super-cool looking lady DJs spinning records… that I could barely hear. I don’t know if there were sound constraints because it was on a rooftop, but if you sell a party as totally ROCK STAR, then the music must be loud. I didn’t come to chill out in the Space Lounge, I came to rock my socks off.

2.) Which brings me to the Ubisoft Just Dance Smurfs issue.

I know Ubisoft needs to promote their Smurf Game and CGC want to help them make the best impression on the 500 bloggers that were expected to be at the party. I understand the commercial aspect of this, but for a crowd of amped up women bloggers, many of whom are high on the fact that they are away from their kids and homes, on VACATION, blessedly on their own, while giddy over the fact that they are hanging out with their most favorite blogging peeps,at a fabulous party, all while not having to take any of their children’s demands into consideration…

Why, WHY, would you choose to promote a product so painfully geared to only children? Why not promote Just Dance 3, which is coming out this Autumn? Perfect! Let us dance to adult songs and routines while we’re at the party and then give away a couple hundred copies of the Smurf Just Dance game creating massive goodwill with all blogger moms with Wii’s and guaranteeing huge positive word of mouth about how awesome the forthcoming Just Dance 3 is?

Upon arriving, after posing for the flip book, I made a bee-line to one of the dance areas, coercing three nearby people into forming a dance team, and then was bored to tears with the song and child-paced dance moves. I’m not implying in any way that I’m above it all and breezed through our song with a high score or excelled at the dance moves, I didn’t. :: smile :: (If you watched the vid of me dancing to Just Dance 3 at the CyberMummy conference in London in June, you know perfectly well I am an enthusiastic, but not particularly gifted dancer.)

Perhaps I would’ve been more enthusiastic about dancing to the game if I could’ve heard the music better. The way the TVs with the games were set up, they had to be quiet enough that they wouldn’t overpower the DJs (which were just loud enough to create some ambience) nor the other dance stations.

When the final dance-off went down, with four teams competing for four Wii’s and some games? The women danced on a darkened stage in the corner, facing the TV (which was away from the audience, so we couldn’t see it), while one of the Clever Girls yelled encouragement in a microphone. So for about 15 minutes, there was NO music to be heard, women danced sort of in unison in a space I could barely see, while a lone voice occasionally said, “C’Mon!!”, “This is for a great prize, ladies!!”, etc. I will grant you that it looked like the women competing were having a super fun time. I assume they could hear the music while they danced…

3.) So, the final part of why the party didn’t gel for me is a little more personal. And I hate admitting it, because I don’t want to negate everything I said above by having people think it was inspired by sour grapes. I hope you know me well enough to know that even a stand-off in the corner would not be enough to ruin a great party for me, there’s a reason why I brag that “partying is my specialty!” Because it is! Anyway, you be the judge.

As I mentioned before I started, not only was I in the Raise Your Glass video, but I also put quite a bit of time and effort into the dress I wore to the party. I also tweeted many times about the party in the months building up to it and was even recently named to the Clever Girls “UbiChamps” program, which I blogged about. I know I’m not The Pioneer Woman or Anissa Mayhew or one of the many immediately recognizable, hugely popular bloggers that were around over the weekend. But I was one of FIVE bloggers that took the time to videotape themselves for a video that I knew the Clever Girls would be using as a promotional device to celebrate their brand. And, for the record, I can certify that I was definitely the only 6’2” woman (in my 5” heels) in a fuchsia dress with a sequined Union Jack emblazoned across it, sporting a giant cloud of blonde teased hair.

And you know what? Not one of the Clever Girls came up to say hi. There were some other women there who had enthusiastically embraced the rock star dress code, but the overwhelming majority of party-goers were in pretty standard cocktail party wear, so I stood out at least a little. I wasn’t expecting a ticker-tape parade, people. But I was expecting a big, “Hey!! You must be Amy!!! So glad to meet you!”

To be fair, I don’t know any of the Clever Girls personally (nor watched them in a video), so I didn’t recognize any of them to say hi to, either. Hey, I know the street goes two ways! By the time the competition & giveaways came along and I could identify which women were the Clevers, I was was on my way out the door.

I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I did. Honestly? My feelings were hurt. Which makes me want to scream at myself for having an over-inflated ego, or something. I mean, what did I think would happen? They were running a party and I'm sure had a thousand things on their minds. I get it. But they should've come up with a better way to identify themselves as hosts, if they truly wanted to meet their membership, because the personal slight, on top of the not great energy at the party (a Smurf-induced malaise, perhaps?), and the overall poor interactions with venders left me entirely cold on the whole party and I was happy to make it out of there in time to hang with friends and then make it the Queerosphere in time for some of that elusive dancing that I'd been hoping for all night.

I see now that the real problem was that I had invested way too much emotionally in the party, and, ultimately, in a perceived connection with the Clever Girls.

So why am I writing this post publicly, instead of privately to the Clever Girls?

I wanted to share my thoughts on this via my blog because I know I’m not alone in feeling disappointed with this party. And if I, a woman who is, as a friend noted recently, “genetically engineered to rock any party” left this one feeling underwhelmed and unloved, then something really had to be wrong.

I also want all the people who are planning parties for BlogHer 2012 to take heed. You need more than enthusiasm and good intentions to throw a party that will blow us bloggers away. You need a message that means something to us, you need to set proper expectations for the event, and if you’re going with a theme, you need to keep your sponsors in line with that theme.

Because if you don’t, you might not just be wasting the sponsors’ money and yours, you will end up alienating your attendees because you wasted their time.

Blogher ‘11: Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 13:17:58 PDT

God, I adore these people. And I adore blogging. And pretty much every aspect of blogging and interacting with the other people who do it.

So, my big goal for this year’s BlogHer was to take it easy. And that is exactly what I did. I concentrated on spending time with people I’ve met at past BlogHer conventions and wanted to get to know better and I still had time to make some new friends along the way. And, in some cases, not just ‘making a friend,” but actually sitting down, sharing some tears and laughter, and making the kind of connection with other people that reminds you why humanity and emotions and life are all worth living.

BlogHer ‘11

VIEW SLIDE SHOW

DOWNLOAD ALL

I want to do the whole link-to-everyone-I-love thing, but this slideshow is just going to have to cut it for the moment. If you are curious who all those beautiful people are: you can go to my facebook page (located there to the right) where I have the photos up with tags and some captions. If you’re not tagged and you’re in there? Friend my ass so I can tag yours!

Distance Makes the Heart Grows Fonder, and by "Distance" I Mean "Summer Camp"

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 15:46:05 PDT

The boys left for summer camp almost a week and a half ago while the time has flown by, it also seems like I haven’t seen them in an age. Not having them around makes me keenly aware of how tactile a parent I am. I miss all those little moments of random hugs around my waist, bodies leaning against me, and the instances where I touch their hair, their hands, put my arm around their shoulders or stop to bestow a kiss as I walk by them in a room.

I’ve tried to make up for it by being extra affectionate with my husband, but with the temperature hovering around 95 here every day, I’m not looking for, um,… how do I say this delicately? …Sustained affection? I’m just looking for those little gestures that reassure all parties involved that they are loved and cherished.

It makes me wonder if the boys are getting the love and reassurance that I know they must be missing, too. I say that without any notions or worries that they are withering away without their mommy. I am well aware and a champion of the fact that one of the great things about camp is that it helps children learn how to deal with their peers in a more even playing field and allows them to experience what life can be like as an independent.

It frightens and delights me in equal parts to think about my nine and eleven year olds growing into young men and detaching themselves from their father and me. I want them to need me! I want them to always know that we’ve always got their back. But I also thrill at the glimpses of the men they will soon be and am so proud when they enjoy success that is theirs and theirs alone.

I guess I am just having a moment… I know I said I wouldn’t miss them! But I was wrong. I talked to my mother today and she reported that the Animal is a delight and has been easy-going and up for anything that is proposed while on their camping adventure. And letters finally arrived from the boys, hallelujah! (Three weeks is a really long time to go with no news about your child and I was doubtful they would take time to write.) CC conveyed real excitement that he was making friends quickly and then asked if he could bring home a dove that he adopted at the camp animal center. He assures us that if we buy the cage, he will pay for everything else. Right. Destructo simply wrote that he forgot to pack toys, would I please send some? But he backed up the “gimme” with a lovely family portrait to show he was thinking of us.

The capper was that I also received a letter from Destructo’s counselor that said my 9-year-old was doing great and that he had never seen a boy so kind and respectful of others. He went on to say that Destructo was a great friend to everyone, that he had had a lot of fun canoeing with him on the lake, and to call if I had any questions.

This letter would be lovely for any parent to receive, of course, but I was moved to tears by his words because it doesn’t seem so long ago that Destructo was diagnosed with ADHD and he was having an extremely difficult time connecting with his classmates because his social skills were just not refined enough. (First grade is rough for known booger-pickers, it turns out.) He didn’t have the capacity to read other kids’ social cues and, though always charming to adults and teens, was just too random in his attention and interests to interact in a way that other kids didn’t find strange. He has grown so much during our time in England and to hear that he is integrating into camp life so easily makes me really hopeful that he will do well in school when he returns to his old school in September.

Is anyone else going through a summer camp-induced reevaluation where your children are concerned? I feel like this time away from them is making me treasure each of them and their unique gifts that they bring to the table more than I have in a long time. Huh, It makes me wonder if that old truism distance makes the heart grow fonder was talking about parents and children, not lovers.

Sweet, Sweet Validation: Dancing

noreply@blogger.com (Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 21:34:26 PDT

My mad dance skillz have been recognized.

FINALLY.

You may not know this about me, but I am cuckoo for that game Just Dance. Like really bananas for it. Like, I may have a huge chip on my shoulder that I never got to take dance lessons when I was a little girl because we lived way out in the country in the middle of nowhere and I was way too chunky to ever look any good in one of those little pink leotards, anyway, kind of cuckoo.

Which makes this announcement all the sweeter, my friends. I was recently dubbed an UbiChamp by the Clever Girls Collective. This means... well, nothing, like, hugely momentous, but I know it puts me in the running to review Just Dance 3 and other awesome Ubisoft games that are up and coming. It's not always about the big bucks, people. Sometimes the validation is the reward.

As an example of my ~~insanity~~ passion, here's a little story: I went to the really fun and really fab Cybermummy conference in London a month ago... and instead of soaking up all the great content and taking quiet moments to hang with totally cool bloggers from all over England, I was drawn to the Ubisoft spot in the expo hall where I got my groove on about 8 times throughout the day. (I've never felt so fit at a conference before!) (Nor been so sweaty!)

I give you this video of my shame, delight, and intensely felt, yet sloppily executed dance moves:

I'm not the only person who loses their mind a little when it comes to this game, right?

Anyone?

Beuller? Beuller?!

I'm an UbiChamp, yo.