My Journey to Me

Just a Reminder.......

2012-01-05T10:09:00.000-05:00

Just in case you missed the earlier announcement or just forgot during the holiday madness, this blog has moved to new digs. You can find updates on my ongoing life journey at a new address:

http://www.myjourneytome-thediscovery.com/

And yes, you do have to put in your email address again at the new site to get email updates.

(you already missed a new Reading4Champions book selection!)

Oh and Happy New Year!

BLOG MOVE DONE!

2011-11-07T15:42:00.000-05:00

Blog move done...well 95% done. My deadline was November 5th; I'm just two days off so that's good. I still have a little unpacking to do and some stuff to put in place. But, the new place is live and open for business! This blog's new address is: (drum roll)

http://www.myjourneytome-thediscovery.com/

When you get there, take a look around. Feel free to leave a comment (over there) on the new look. Also, don't forget to sign up for a new email subscription over there. I will not be posting here anymore. This is http://myjourneytome-thediscovery.blogspot.com/ signing off! It was nice; I have nothing but fond memories.

This blog has moved to: http://www.myjourneytome-thediscovery.com/

Moving........

2011-10-28T14:45:00.000-04:00

How are you doing this fantastic day? I know you must be marvelous because you woke up this morning and you follow my blog!

I just want to drop you a quick note to let you know you will not be getting any new posts from me for a while. No, I have not given up blogging about personal development. I am improving my blog because you, my reader, have left so many comments telling me how my posts on personal development are helping you to grow. Your comments let me know that I can encourage and inspire, my goal for this blog, and gave me the confidence to step up my game - to take my messages to a worldwide audience. Thank you, thank you so much!

So, I am moving the blog to another site and acquiring a .com domain name for it. I have a deadline of November 5th. You can help me stick to this deadline by dropping me an email (myjourneytome@gmail.com) or leaving a comment to hold me accountable. As soon as the process is completed, I will let you know.

Stay tuned!

Reading4Champions: “The Compound Effect”

2011-10-07T15:00:00.001-04:00

Hello Champions!

The book club is indeed alive and well. Over the past months, we have been feeding ourselves mental toughness secrets and new concepts of failure. We’ve been learning the importance of never giving up, playing to win and fulfilling dreams inside us. We even took a moment to learn the importance of planning out any entrepreneurial enterprise before opening for business. This month’s book, as you should expect, builds on what we have been learning. It is written by a gentleman I consider a mentor, instructing and guiding me through goal setting and follow through. The book is “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy, publisher of SUCCESS magazine.

This book is awesome! It is chock full of methods for goal setting,

eliminating bad habits and creating motivation to name a few. The buzzword for this book is consistency over time. I like that the methods and information in this book are not theoretical; Mr. Hardy uses them in his everyday life to achieve so much. There are summary action steps after each chapter so you can immediately implement what you just read. The most profound statement in the book for me was, “You cannot manage or improve something until you measure it.” Wow! How many times have you wanted to eat healthier or exercise more or spend less money and you don’t. Maybe because you weren’t really aware of what you were eating or how much you were exercising or how much money you were spending when you made the decision? In other words, how can you plot a course from Point A to Point B if you don’t know where Point A is? Since I wanted to eat healthier, I got a notebook and started writing down everything I ate during the day. Yes, it was tedious but it worked.

Before ending this post, I want to send out huge CONGRATULATIONS to Mr. Hardy! In his September 9, 2011 blog post, he announced, “… that because The Compound Effect has had phenomenal viral success (without ever being available in a bookstore), a big N.Y. publisher came romancing us wanting to publish it to a worldwide retail market in November.”

Now, after hearing the inspiring story of how “The Compound Effect” changed the relationship between Kevin Small and Grant, his son, Mr. Hardy launched Mission 1000. For every hardbound copy of “The Compound Effect” you buy, the SUCCESS team will buy and distribute softbound copy to a deserving kid. For more info, visit http://bit.ly/mission1000. I hear another Ding being made in the universe!

Enough from me. Go get your notebook and your hard copy of “The Compound Effect”. Help yourself and 1,000 kids at the same time! (the mission ends October 14) http://www.thecompoundeffect.com/buy/

Leap of Faith Radio Show Interview Recap

2011-10-02T15:42:00.000-04:00

On September 21, 2011, I was interviewed on the Leap of Faith radio show (www.leapoffaithshow.com). The host of the show is Stubbs, an awesome woman who is scouring the community to find musical talent, as well as individuals making a positive impact, to share with the world. Stubbs has hundreds of listeners worldwide. She asked me to talk about this blog and the importance of personal development. I was excited and nervous at the same time because, other than talking to friends, I had never talk to the world about personal development. The night before I could hardly sleep!

The interview aired at 7:30 a.m. (EST). It was live, which probably accounted for my nervousness. I didn’t want to sound like a babbling idiot. It was not recorded so I thought I would highlight some of the questions and answers as best as I can recall for those of you who missed it.

LeapOfFaith: You write a blog which is called My Journey to Me. Could you tell us more about that?

ME: Yes. I started a business a while back that emphasized personal development as part of its business plan and regularly recommended books to read. At first, I didn’t read any of the books because I felt I didn’t need any personal development because I had two degrees. Then one day I read “Failing Forward” by John Maxwell and it completely changed my perception of failure. I began reading more and more personal development books and implementing the ideas and concepts in the books in my life. I started my blog to record things I was learning about myself and share them with others. It made me very happy to find out what I was writing about was helping other people in their personal development.

LOF: What does it mean to go through "Personal Development" and why is it important?

ME: I don’t like the word “through” because it implies there is an end to personal development and there isn’t. It is an ongoing process; something that actively happens daily. God said in Romans 12 for us to be transformed by renewing our minds. The “ing” on the end of the word “renew” means a present action. You never stop personal development.

LOF: Do you think that life in itself is a class on personal development and cause us to find out who we truly are?

ME: It can be if you make the effort to pay attention to what happens in your life and learn from it. By learn, I mean implement a different response to a given situation instead of sticking to the way you have always done it. Keep trying something different until you get the results you like and want.

LOF: What would you say to a person who keeps experiencing difficulty after difficulty?

ME: I would say you keep experiencing difficulty after difficulty because you are missing something. There is some personal development, some lesson (s) you should be learning and implementing that you are not. This is especially true if the difficulty is the same kind. Also stop and ask yourself, “What am I supposed to be learning?” and keep asking until the light bulb goes off. When you ask yourself a good question and you will get a good answer.

LOF: In what ways can one begin to find who they truly are?

ME: One, you must replace all the negative information thrown at you daily by the media (television news, radio news and newspapers), by television programs and by people with positive and uplifting information. Read self-development books. There is a list of books on my blog. And yes, you have the time. You can get books in MP3 format you can download to IPods, IPads and smartphones or you can get books on CD so you can listen to them while you commute. Start with 15 minutes a day and build up. If money is an issue, get books and audio books from the public library. Two, begin to pay attention to how people respond to you. Are they always glad to be around you? Are they always grumpy and short with you? Pay attention to how you respond to people and situations. Three, spend some time with you. Start journaling. Write down what you learn from the books and from paying attention to what is going on in your life. Your journal can be a simple notebook from the dollar store. These steps are important because the constant element in your life as go from person to person and situation to situation is YOU. If something is not right in your life, start with you. You can’t change other people but you can change you and how you respond.

Well, that’s all I can remember. My next live interview will definitely be recorded. Thanks Stubbs for letting me share with your listeners.

Tune into the Leap of Faith Show on Sundays 6 to 10 a.m. (EST) and Monday-Wednesday 6 to 9 a.m. (EST) to hear gospel music from mainstream and independent artists and hear awesome interviews.

FYI: Stubbs announces job openings on Tuesdays. So if you have one, send an email with the details to leapoffaith@yahoo.com.

Radio Interview - Leap of Faith Show

2011-09-19T07:30:00.015-04:00

I am so excited and so nervous right now! This week, on Wednesday, September 21st, I will be doing my first radio interview. The interview will be on the Leap of Faith show at 7:30 a.m. (EST). Leap Of Faith is a unique gospel radio show featured on Sundays 6a-10a on Worship World Radio, which is under the parent company DaBeat1650. Stubbs hosts the show. She is an awesome and caring woman who brings new gospel artists to the world and showcases individuals pouring into others to help them become better people. I am honored Stubbs asked me to address the origins of my blog and the importance of personal development in one's life.

Stop pass the website to see upcoming events and contests. And of course, tune in on Wednesday!

http://www.leapoffaithshow.com/

FYI: More titles have been added to the books on personal development list. Click the tab at top. And in case you are wondering, yes I have read all those books.

UnemployedWoman.com Guest Post

2011-08-31T21:46:00.000-04:00

If are unemployed or know someone who is (male or female), then I have written a message just for you. It is the FEATURED blog post on the website, www.unemployedwoman.com! I was excited when I came across this website because it encourages, supports and celebrates women. It is full of information not only on job search tools, but also on finances, recipes, coupons and freebies, and health and wellness.

I want to publicly thank the editors of this site for publishing my article, a message of encouragement, and I look forward to contributing to this site again. If you like the message, please leave a comment under the article.

The direct link to the article is:
http://www.unemployedwoman.com/2011/08/29/you-are-still-you/

Guest Blog/Interview - Joy T.J. Riley

2011-08-17T09:29:00.001-04:00

I am SO excited about this post for two reasons. One, this is my first VIDEO interview and it represents me stepping out of my comfort zone. (in case you’re wondering, it feels empowering!) Two, I get to introduce you to my business partner and very good friend, Joy T.J. Riley. Ms. Riley is the author of the best-seller, Get Your JOY In The Morning!, a book chock full of short, sweet and to the devotionals. Joy and I were friends when she was writing her book. I know you will find her re-invention story inspirational.

Videographer: Photographic Expressions

You can purchase your copy of Get Your JOY In The Morning! through this blog by clicking the book cover in the left column. Also, don’t forget to stop by her blog, http://getyourjoyinthemorning.blogspot.com/, and sign up for her daily devotional.

Question for Comment: Did you like this video interview? Did it inspire you to do something different in your life?

Guest Blogger/Interview - Beverly Imes

2011-07-18T08:11:00.039-04:00

Welcome to my second guest blogger/interview. I first met Beverly Imes many years ago when we both attended Master Quest, a weekend course on personal development and effectiveness. Since then, Beverly has reinvented herself into a renowned personal development coach, has written a book, You Can Make A Difference and is currently editing a new e-book, Waiting with Expectancy. Without further ado, I present to you, Ms. Beverly Imes.

Miss Beverly Imes is a native of Harmony, North Carolina where she grew up always wanting to help others in need. Today she is doing just that directly and indirectly. Directly via classes, workshops, and one on ones with clients. Indirectly with friends and family... even in Sunday School class.

Miss Imes has a passion for helping people. She is committed to excellence and puts her all into her addresses and workshops. When you think of commitment, fire and results, you should think of this speaker. From start to finish Miss Imes has it all. She can truly enhance one’s quality of life when her awesome tools are applied. Her positive attitude makes her a joy to be around and listen to. What an inspiration she is to those who are willing to receive the gift she gives through her presentations.

She is the founder of Positive Impact is a leader in empowerment keynotes and workshops. Their mission is to assist individuals to become the ULTIMATE person they can be and to have a more prosperous lifestyle and relationships.

Methodology: through interactive learning experiences which focus on the individual first. Then learn more about those around them that they may appreciate what they have in common with others, respect the differences, and work together for a common goal in spite of it all.

Continuously enhancing the gifts God has given her in the public speaking and empowerment training arenas, Positive Impact was created with the vision of helping others discover the ultimate person they can be.

She is also the author of “You Can Make a Difference…because you ARE the difference.” This interactive publication takes an individual from where he or she is to where he or she wants to be accomplishing any goal set by way of inspiration and application.

Remember, "It's not what you WANT. It's what you DO." It is time to take action.

Visit www.beverlyrimes.com for a life changing experience.

MJTM: The theme of my blog, My Journey to Me, is personal development and re-invention. I asked you to do this interview because you made a complete change, a re-invention, in your life. I want you to my readers with your experiences and perspective along the theme of my blog.

MJTM: Tell us about your formal education and professional career. (you don’t need to provide dates and places; generality is okay)
Beverly: I have a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and work as the Executive Assistant to the Associate Vice Chancellor for Facilities Management at a major university. I’ve worked in the clerical field since 1985. My spiritual gifts are administration, leadership, and teaching. I use them all in my current position as well as in my company, Positive Impact, http://www.beverlyrimes.com/.

MJTM: What caused you to shift in your career, to undergo a re-invention, into the area of personal development and to write the book, You Can Make A Difference?

Beverly: In 1999 my closet friend introduced me to network marketing. I was already a positive person in general; however, to be in a constant atmosphere where people were excited, happy, and wanted everyone to succeed was new and at first scary. After meeting good people who helped me see there was more to me than the shell I displayed, I wanted to help others achieve the same. I realized I was ‘stuck’ in my own mentality. I had done everything I KNEW to do, but one person in particular took time to share methods and concepts to help me see who I really am and what my purpose is. I was encouraged to read more and I began reading more books on leadership and personal development. I saw books that I knew I could have written myself. I decided to write a book of quotes or sayings with my own photographs. I love photography.

In 2001 or 2002 a leader in ACN Inc., the network marketing company I was part of, began asking me questions that had nothing to do with the business. The one question I remember is “how is your relationship with your Dad” and I responded, something like “fine” or “okay”. At that time, I didn’t know why he asked, but he was leading up to something. He noticed my actions and maybe some of the things I said in general (I don’t recall anything specific) and he finally asked if I would be willing to enroll in a week long personal development session with his company. I was willing, but I had no idea what to expect.

MJTM: Was the shift easy? Difficult? Why?
Beverly: Regarding the personal development, the shift was difficult at first because I did not trust the process. I wanted to know everything up front and it wasn’t for me to know. Once I let go and learned to trust people, the process became much easier.

Writing the book was relatively easy once I decided to do it.

MJTM: Did you have to learn new skills? What skills did you have to learn?
Beverly: No. I used the skills I already had. I knew how to write relatively well, type, use computer applications, and a camera; therefore, I put the book together in three days. When I revised the book (increased by approximately 55 pages), it took me about 6 hours.

I contacted a colleague regarding printing and distributing the book. The first set I printed myself with permission to use the church copier. When I expanded the book, I outsourced the printing to a company my colleague uses.

MJTM: Tell us about the emotions you experienced during the process of your re-invention?
Beverly: Fear! Fear of the unknown while “finding myself.” I had to shift quickly (within minutes) mentally to be able to trust the person guiding me, receive instructions, and act on those instructions. Once I made that shift, it made things SO much easier – then and now. I find myself at times needing to shift to keep peace within myself. I am SO glad I learned how to do that.

MJTM: Did you get much support from family members and/or friends?
Beverly: I only told two people what I was doing at first, which were close friends who were open and receptive to the process I was going through. One of them had told me years before “Beverly, you have issues!” but he did not tell me or offer a way to fix it. When someone came along who offered to help me, I shared it with that friend and he was very supportive and said he was going to pray for me but most of all he was going to pray for my mentor leading the process.

When I wrote the book, I had the same support from friends in my network marketing family who knew I said I was going to write a book. Finally, I had to stop talking and start typing. Once it was finished, I shared with my family and they were supportive as well. I don’t recall anyone being non-supportive until it was time to purchase a book. I attend a small church with less than 100 people on average in attendance. Maybe 25 people in the church have my book. I thought I would get more support than that considering I was born and raised in that church. I am a leader in the church and have helped many of them grow spiritually. Some of them have told me how good the book is, but others still haven’t purchased one. I have sold more books to people I don’t know than the people in my church, but it is what it is. I was disappointed at first, but after my training in network marketing, I know how people can be and I finally resolved not to take it personally. Some people just want to stay where they are.

MJTM: Was the support of family and/or friends crucial to your re-invention?
Beverly: No. I didn’t think about it until I saw this question. I knew it was something I needed to grow and have a happier life. It was about me.

MJTM: Did they understand your reason for taking this step?
Beverly: At that time, only my close friend knew why I was doing it without me really telling him and yes, he understood.

MJTM: What part did personal development play in your re-invention?
Beverly: It was the only part. I love to learn and had attended many Christian related workshops to help me grow spiritually. However, somehow that did not help me the way the Master Quest program with Mr. Marcus Dunlop did. He is a Christian and that did help in my learning to trust him through the process. After my session with him, a colleague of his suggested the Legacy Center in Morrisville, NC, and I attended three sessions there which totally changed my life! Just last week a close friend told me he can tell the difference in the way I am and my way of being compared to when we first met 20 years ago.

MJTM: If yes to Question 9, would you tell us some of your resources?
Beverly:     Master Quest (personal effectiveness)
The Legacy Center    http://www.thelegacycenter.com/
Dr. Val Logan          http://fulfillingrelationships.com/
Books:
• You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
• What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life by Dr. Kevin Leman (this book was assigned to me to read during Master Quest and at the time I hated I had to read it, but the more I read, the more I saw myself – what a revelation! After that, I suggest it to everybody – men and women)
• Any book by John C. Maxwell especially his Leadership Bible

MJTM: What did you learn about yourself?
Beverly: I learned why I did the things I did – meaning why I didn’t trust other men, why I didn’t talk much when I had so much to say, why I was closed off even though I am a friendly person.

I learned to trust and be vulnerable. I learned to love unconditionally. I learned to take a risk in relationships. I learned I really can have it all…successful and fun relationships, a prosperous career, bestselling book(s). I learned to love me and who God created me to be!

I also learned how my thoughts are the key to everything. My thoughts guide my life. When I believe I can have, do, and be anything – I can.

MJTM: What advice would you give to someone toying with the idea of doing something in their lives that is different from their current career/job?
Beverly: Pray and ask God for wisdom in any decision. Take a moment to right down all the things that can go right and what you want to gain from making the change. Ask yourself if this is something you want to do or is it something someone else wants you to do. It must be something you want. Write down what you want to do and add photos to bring it to life. Review it daily. Then take the necessary steps to reach that goal.

MJTM: Is there anything you else you would like add to this interview?
Beverly: I am happier now than I have ever been because I allow myself to be. My happiness is not conditioned to whether or not things are going well around me, but because I am confident and secure in my own self – in my own skin. God created me, this unique being, for a special purpose and I choose to excel in the purpose he has for me which is to serve Him by helping others have a better quality of life.

MJTM: Thank you for your time!
Beverly: And thank YOU for the opportunity to share. I pray and I know it will make a difference in someone’s life. God bless you abundantly.

MJTM: Follow Beverly on Twitter @tweetmepositive and Like her Facebook FanPage, You Can Make a Difference ...because you ARE the difference.

Question for Comment: Has this interview helped you decide to make a change in your life? How so?

Another Blog – AnointedWomenInChrist.com

2011-07-05T10:00:00.003-04:00

I can’t believe I have been writing this blog for over a year! When I explained what I write about to an acquaintance, she broke it down like this: thoughts I have now that the noise of a workplace and of an employer are no longer in my head. Perfect! I want to thank you for reading my thoughts. I want to also thank you for your patience when I didn’t post every week as I had planned (had no thoughts to share!), for your feedback to posts, for joining the Reading4Champions Book Club started in November, for following @SharmansJourney on Twitter and for being a fan of My Journey to Me Facebook Page. Without you, my efforts would have been useless.

If you will remember, one of the reasons I started this blog was to put down my thoughts and experiences to add value to others. Well, since I started writing in May 2009, a dream I once had came back to my recollection. Once upon a time I wanted to write a book that inspired and encouraged women. And it seems that since I started this blog, I have moving down the path to do just that.

It is with great pleasure and honor that I inform you

I was recently asked to blog and manage the social media for a website for women which I gladly accepted. Now, you can also read my thoughts on http://anointedwomeninchrist.com/. Anointed Women in Christ (AWIC) ministries was founded by Ms. Chris Allen in 2010 with a goal of teaching women how much God loves and values them. My postings on AWIC will be messages designed for women based upon and citing scriptures from the Bible. Go to http://anointedwomeninchrist.com/ and click Blog at the top to reach the messages. If you like, you can also subscribe to the blog and get updates via email. There are two messages posted already: A Cheerful Receiver and Are You Resource-full? You can follow AWIC on Twitter @awic4christ and become a fan of Anointed Women in Christ on Facebook.

My Guest Interview

2011-06-07T08:00:00.004-04:00

Last month, I started a new segment to this blog – guest blogger/interview. Glenda Staten was my first guest blogger. If you missed her post, scroll down and read the poem she wrote. It is quite moving. Thanks for sharing, Glenda.

Well, you know what happens when you ask people to guest write for your blog? Yep, they ask you to guest write for their blog! I chose to do an interview instead of a regular post. So visit Glenda’s blog, Positivity 4 Ever, at http://positivity4ever.com. Browse around. Click some links. Maybe read an interview. (7/4/2011 update: my interview is now under the P4Blog. Click my name in the left column)

Can't think of a Question for Comment, so feel free to just Comment. something relevant.

Guest Blog/Interview- Glenda Staten

2011-05-18T11:18:00.006-04:00

In the May 5th post, I announced the arrival of guest blogs. From time to time, I will step aside and a post will be written by someone else, a guest blogger. The guest blogger will be someone who I know, trust and love, and who will contribute to your personal growth. All guest blogs will be consistent with the themes of my blog, personal development and re-invention. Since I made the announcement last week, however, my vision has expanded to Guest Blog/Interview. (Ta-Da!) So, instead of being in just one format, a guest blog/interview will be in one of three formats: a writing, a written interview or a video interview (yep, gonna add some spice).

Welcome to the inaugural guest blog/interview! I am so excited and honored to have Glenda Staten as the first guest blogger.
Thank you so much Ms. Staten for being willing to share your thoughts on my blog. Ms. Staten has led an awesome life of service to the community. I will let you read about her in the bio below. After reading her bio, be still and enjoy the poem she wrote and wanted to share with you. It made me cry.

Glenda Staten is the owner of Positivity 4 Ever at http://positivity4ever.com/. She created the website to promote positivity, and it is based on her life experiences and personal journey to positivity. Glenda interviews entertainers, authors, military personnel, and others who focus on being positive. The interviews are posted on the website to share with visitors. Positivity 4 Ever provides employment information, motivational tips, a recommended book list, book reviews, charity information, and other helpful resources for everyone.

Glenda grew up in Georgia, and joined the United States Army after graduating from Albany Junior College. While in the military, she worked for numerous prestigious organizations in the United States and abroad before retiring in 2004. Glenda was assigned at The National Defense University in Washington, DC and performed duties as the First Sergeant which is the senior enlisted leader of the organization. She also worked on the National Defense University’s Security Team during a visit from the President of the United States, and was commended for her service. She also worked as the Chief of Administration in the Registrar’s Office at the Information Resources Management College, a Joint Senior Service College where she managed Army, Air Force, Navy, and civilian personnel, and often performed duties as the Registrar.

Glenda left the National Defense University after being selected for the Senior Noncommissioned Officer in Charge position for the Vice Chief of Staff of the Army at the Pentagon, and completed her military career while assigned to the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Personnel Administration and Services Division located at the Pentagon. Glenda completed the Advance Noncommissioned Officer Course, the Department of Army Equal Employment Opportunity Counselor Training, and, countless Military courses during her Military career. She also received her Master's Degree in Management from City University of Seattle.

Glenda volunteered for numerous organizations including the Army Community Service. She managed the Combined Federal Campaign for the National Defense University, and was recognized for her outstanding accomplishment during the campaign. Glenda was commended for her extraordinary devotion to duty in support of Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm at the Army Reserve Personnel Center. Glenda received numerous awards while in the military including two Defense Meritorious Service Medals, the Meritorious Service Medal, and the Joint Service Commendation Medal. She is a member of the Military Veteran's Business Association of America, Inc.

Glenda’s military experience and her experience working with people from diverse backgrounds and cultures enriched her life, and provided the necessary insight to help her maintain a positive outlook. This positive outlook helped her make sound decisions with maturity and confidence. Glenda enjoys helping others by contributing to local and national charities.

Here is Glenda’s post:

In Search Of Truth

I Searched and Searched For Truth Each Day
But So Many Obstacles Stood In My Way

I Searched and Searched But I Could Not See
That The Truth I Desired Was Inside of Me

Why Did I Search for Something I Already Possessed?
Surely This Is An Issue I Must Address

In My Search for Truth
I Often Found Empty Spaces
Simply Because I Was Searching
In All the Wrong Places

In My Search for Truth
I Finally Looked Inside My Soul
And Suddenly I Found a Truth As Good As Gold

By Glenda Staten
published in Gumbo For The Soul: The Recipe For Literacy In The Black Community by Beverly Black Johnson, 2007)

Question for Comment: What do you think of the new guest blog/interview format? Do you have a thought or thoughts you would like to share as a guest blogger? [select the name/url option, then just enter your name when posting a comment]

Watch Your Mouth!

2011-05-05T08:06:00.004-04:00

I am writing today about a pet peeve of mine. Anyone who knows me will be vigorously nodding their heads because 9 times out of 10, I have already called them on it. What am I talking about? What you say out of your mouth.

From childhood, we know the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” and we used it to steel ourselves against playground teasing. Did it work? NO! Why? Because words can kill. They can cut deep into our spirit, our psyche, and cause us deep psychological wounds that sometimes never heal. In elementary school, I was teased for knowing the answers in class and being an A student. In high school, I’ll never forget when my history teacher, after distributing a list of extra credit assignments that could be done, announced in front of the class that I was not allowed to do extra credit because my grade was already high. Can we say embarrassed? For years after finishing school, I always made it a point to blend in, to not be noticed, to not give answers, all so I would not stand out. It wasn’t until recently that I began to shake off my need to shrink myself into anonymity. One of the things I discovered while going through personal development is that my life’s purpose requires I stand out and be noticed. (read my earlier post, “The Joke’s On Me”). I still tend to shrink, but I fight it and move forward.

But I am not here to write about words people say to you.
I am here to write about the words you say to yourself. That’s right. The words you say out loud about yourself and things going on in your life. George Zalucki, the world renowned motivational coach and entrepreneur, teaches, “What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.” Said another way, the words you think (thinker), go down into the heart (prover), your inner being, and come out of your mouth and eventually manifest in your actions or inactions.

The Bible puts it this way:

      For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34 (NKJV) and this way

      Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.   Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) and this way

     He who guards his mouth preserves his life.    Proverbs 13:3 (NKJV)

There are over 300 scriptures about the mouth and the good and the bad that flow out it; these are just a few. Experts say you believe what you say about yourself faster than what other people say about you. Therefore, the words YOU use to describe yourself and your life deeply affect you. They deeply affect how you feel and how you act. As I said, I am writing this because of my pet peeve. I constantly hear people say things that undermine themselves and they don’t realize they’re doing it. When I hear them, I stop them, explain the effect of their words and help them re-state their thought. (if you know me, I’ve probably done this to you!) To help you right now, here are a few things I hear people say along with the rights words to say to empower, not undermine:

     1. “I am trying to____”. When you say this, you tell yourself to permanently try and not accomplish. Instead, say “I am _____”.

     2. “I hate _____” When you say this, you tell yourself to permanently detest the thing or person. Instead, say, “I don’t like ____ right now.”

     3. “____ is too expensive.” or “I’m broke.” When you say either of these, you tell yourself the thing is permanently unobtainable or you will permanently not have money. Instead, say “I don’t have the money for ____ right now.”

     4. “I’ve talked to everybody and nobody will ____”. When you say this, you tell yourself to permanently stop talking to people (after all, you’ve talked with every single person in the whole wide world). Instead say, “I talked with 5 people last week and none of them would ____.”

I live this blog post daily. I used to call myself a procrastinator. Not very empowering. When I understood the power of my own words, I stopped. (read my earlier post, “Procrastination: A Mind Thing"). I have a business in which I must constantly network and meet new people. I got to a point where the people I had interacted with all the people I knew and needed to meet new people. I don’t have a job so I couldn’t meet people through work. But instead of thinking and saying, “I’ve talk to everybody I know” or “I can’t meet any business-minded people because I’m not in a business environment everyday”, I said aloud, “How can I meet new, business-minded people?” I was lead to the internet where I found free networking events. At the events, I met people who referred me to other websites and events. Now, meeting business-minded people is not a problem for me.

So, stop and think about the words you use when you say something about yourself. Be aware of the words you are using. Do they paint an accurate picture? Do they undermine you or empower you? Watch your mouth!

Question for Comment: For 1 day, listen and write down the words you use to describe yourself and your life. Are you undermining or empowering yourself?

ANNOUNCEMENT: Coming soon.....you will see postings from other writers or guest bloggers. The postings could be on a topic or a written interview or a video interview. Don't worry. All postings will be consistent with the theme of My Journey To Me, personal development and re-invention.

Reading4Champions Book Club: The Dream Giver

2011-05-01T08:00:00.005-04:00

Hello Champions!

I know you are not finished reading the April book of the month, “The E Myth Revisited” by Michael E. Gerber. Nevertheless, I just finished re-reading a golden nugget and I had to share it with you now! This book is a quick read. It’s only 157 pages long so you can pick it up right now and then go back to the April book. This book, like all the prior ones we have read, is designed to build you into a champion. It will remind you of your dream, why it’s important to you and why you must achieve it. The name of the May book is The DreamGiver by Bruce Wilkinson.

On the dedication page, Mr. Wilkinson states, “This book is for anyone

who has ever hoped or believed they could achieve something remarkable with their lives.” Does this sound like you? The Dream Giver is written in two parts. In Part I, Mr. Wilkinson tells the story of Ordinary, a resident of Familiar, who has a Big Dream to be a Somebody and achieve Great Things. He tells about the obstacles that Ordinary faces along the road to his Big Dream. In Part II, the author explains the reasons for the obstacles and how to overcome them.

I first read this book in 2004. I knew I had a dream and it was not working as a lawyer for the rest of my life. I wasn’t clear on exactly what the dream was, but I was, nevertheless, timidly walking toward something and doubting my walk every other day. The book made sense. I underlined a few concepts. Today, I am clear on my dream and much further along in accomplishing it. This time, reading The Dream Giver really excited me! Why? Mainly, because I could truly relate to Ordinary and the obstacles and stuff he faced in his journey. Secondly, because in the introduction, Mr. Wilkinson states the obstacles and other stuff you experience on your journey to accomplishing your dream come in a predictable sequence and each has a reason for being where it appears in your journey. (how did I miss that the first time??) I could pinpoint exactly where I am right now in my journey to my dream and I know exactly what I need to do to keep moving.

So polish up your dreams Champions! Make them shiny and new. You are a Somebody! Enjoy the May book. Mr. Wilkinson is on Twitter: @Bruce_Wilkinson.

Question for Comment: Have you had a dream that you let go of? Why? Did “The Dream Giver” help you reclaim your dream?

New Profile Picture

2011-04-29T18:51:00.002-04:00

Hello Followers!

If you look to the right, you will notice picture of a lone bird at the ocean. It looks like it is searching for something. Hence, the name of the picture - Searching. I am now using this as the profile picture for My Journey To Me on Twitter and on the Facebook FanPage. I did this to prevent confusion on Facebook. And the bird seems to be looking and searching as she either begins or rests in the middle of her journey which is something we all do when we are on a journey.

Facebook FanPage

2011-04-22T14:42:00.000-04:00

After receiving numerous requests, a Facebook FanPage is now available for this blog! Yeah!!! (it is still under construction so be kind) If you have not graduated to Twitter yet, I linked the FanPage to Twitter so you will be able to read my tweets.

To Like the page, click on the Facebook badge in the right column. Or to find it from Facebook, type "My Journey To Me" in the Search box at the top of the page.

At this point, I really need your help. For those of you who don't know, my ultimate goal for this blog is a book on personal development and re-invention. I use the blog to accomplish three things: 1) to capture concepts I am learning, 2) to immediately share them to add value to others right now and 3) to get feedback. No, you will not know everything that will be in my book from reading the blog! So, I need your really help......recommend the FanPage to your friends.

Question for Comment: Which social media do you use most often, Facebook or Twitter? Why?

April Book of the Month

2011-04-18T08:00:00.002-04:00

Hello Champions!

No, I have not forgotten about you and yes, we are still reading books that help us to grow as individuals. Remember, whenever you have not finished reading the prior month’s book, continue until you finish. I am going to jump right into April’s book.

We know our thoughts drive us to be, and to stay, champions because our thoughts drive our actions. This month’s book is all about transitioning your thinking from that of an employee, fulfilling someone else’s dream and being told what do, to that of a business owner fulfilling your dreams and putting the right processes in place to make your business successful. This month’s book is

“The E Myth Revisited” by Michael E. Gerber.

In his book, Mr. Gerber writes about the common assumptions and expectations people have when starting a business and why these assumptions and expectations set them up for failure. He then provides a solid and proven foundation or method to avoid them and, in turn, grow a successful business. To explain the foundation, Mr. Gerber uses a story format which makes the concepts of the foundation easy to understand. I saw some missteps I had made and am taking steps to correct them. I also learned that inside every business owner, including myself, are three personalities: the Entrepreneur, the Manager and the Technician. While these personalities have separate functions and are active at different times, they must work together for the success of the business. As Mr. Gerber writes:

     The problem isn’t your business; it never has been.
     The problem is you!
     It has always been you and will always be you. Until you change that is.
     Until you change your perspective about what a business is and how one works.
     Until you begin to think of your business in a totally new way.
     Until you accept the undeniable fact that business, even a very small business, like yours, is both and art and a science.

Enjoy, learn and apply!

Question for Comment: Have you read a book that really helped you to change your thinking for the better? What was it and how did it help you?

Inspiration from Space

2011-03-08T00:37:00.000-05:00

If you follow my blog, you know I also know you can follow me on Twitter (if you didn't know, look to the right). I enjoy sending words of inspiration, food for thought, into the universe to help others. As would be expected, I also follow the tweets of those people who follow me. Some tweets are funny, some are nonsensical and some are very inspirational. The inspirational ones, the ones that make me stop and think, I save in my Favorites file. I got a thought the other day that I should share these tweets so others can also be inspired. (after all, not everyone is on Twitter). So, here are some of my favorite tweets and the Twitter name of the person who sent out the tweet. Yes, sometimes there are multiple tweets from one person.

@Oprah_World
Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. Take action to get it. -Jack Canfield

@BillyCoxLive
Its kind of FUN to do the IMPOSSIBLE. Walt Disney

@BilleBaty
Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. Henry Van Dyke

@Motivatingw0rds
Success is determined by those whom prove the impossible, possible.
You can easily determine the caliber of a person by the amount of opposition it takes to discourage him.
You cannot stuff a great life into a small dream.

@LeadToday
The best leaders don't focus on what has happened, they focus on what's going to happen.
Some people focus on what they're going through; successful people focus on what they are going to.

@AndyAndrews
Here's the deal. The past is actually true. But folks only remember history. So are you living in the past or creating HISTORY?!!

"What do I really want?" is the question that fuels one's ability to SELF discipline.

@DARRENHARDY
“Don’t be distracted by criticism. Remember the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.” -Zig Ziglar
"Life is simply a collection of experiences--our goal should be to increase the frequency & intensity of the good experiences."-Darren Hardy

@BrandYou
Reinvention is the art of creating your dreams through putting one foot in front of the other.

@ENVNSON
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, It is about learning to dance in the rain.

@JC_House
God brings men into deep waters, not 2 drown them, but 2 cleanse them. -John Aughey

@J_Canfield
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -Robert F. Kennedy

@Bob_D_Proctor
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

@Inspired_Ones
People of accomplishment rarely sat back & let things happen to them. They went out & happened to things. Leonardo Da Vinci

@InspireBookClub
I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs, but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. -George Patton

@Peak_Performer
It is not because things are different that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.~Anonymous
You don't become enormously successful without encountering and overcoming a number of extremely challenging problems.~Mark Victor Hansen

@JohnCMaxwell
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. -Marcel Proust

@persdevquotes
The most important actions are never comfortable. ~ Tim Ferriss

Aren't these tweets awesome?? Who would have thought 140 characters could be have so much impact? If you like some of these tweets, follow them on Twitter. You will not be disappointed.

Question for Comment: Which tweet did you like best? Why?

Leadership Defined

2011-02-23T08:00:00.003-05:00

The other day, I was reading a Facebook post praising a mentor of mine. I agreed wholeheartedly with the post and wanted to add my two cents. I began to compose a comment saying how I learned more from watching what he did, his behavior, than from what he told me to do. And it hit me.....a leader is someone who models behavior that people follow. And it hit me again.....I am a leader.

You see, my definition of leader was narrow. To me, a leader was a person who had been to a place or achieved a goal he was leading people to. The old "I've been to the top of Mt. Everest so I know the terrain and can lead you there" definition. Since I have goals I have not achieved, I didn't see myself as a leader. After all, what "terrain" did I know? Why would people follow me down a road I know nothing about?

During my stint as an employee, I worked in 5 different offices. I remember that in each office, the staff would oftentimes come to me for guidance on problems, procedures, rumors and other things related to the office; to be the leader. I would look at them and ask, "Why are you asking me? Do I look like your supervisor?" They would respond with, I know you will be honest with me or You know what you are doing around here or You know how things work around here. Their behavior toward me, their view of me, made me feel uncomfortable Today, people still come to me for guidance and to be the leader. I still feel uncomfortable. Clearly, other people see a quality about me that I don't see. As I write this post I'm hit with another thought: I am uncomfortable accepting myself as a leader because of my definition of leader. Also, I am uncomfortable accepting myself as a leader because I am afraid of making a mistake and letting people down.

Okay, what I'm saying probably sounds strange given the books I read on leadership and my Reading4Champions book club. The reality is this....until what I read got deep into me and became part of me, I was just reading and reading. But that's okay. I, and you, have to start somewhere. And as Tony Robbins says, "Repetition is the mother of skill." All that reading has finally gotten me deep into me and I really get it now. There is more to being a leader than "been there before you".

A leader has vision. She (or if you are male, he) sees things before others and grasp their value. When I was in high school (a million years ago) I thought computers were awesome. I saw their potential and knew they would dominate in the future. A family member disagreed with me saying computers wouldn't go anywhere; who would want one of those big room-sized things in their house? Nevertheless, I majored in big room-sized computers in college. Fast forward to today. I am typing this post on my laptop (a small computer) in my house! And many, many people carry around small computers everyday (smartphones, netbooks, Ipads). Tah-Dah!

A leader inspires not only with words, but also with actions. She shows people how to behave in life. What better way to lead another person than by modeling behavior? As my mentor often says "More things are caught than taught." Last year, my daughter and I faced a financial crisis; it was scary. If I was still an employee, the crisis wouldn't have occurred. My daughter panicked big time; I didn't. Instead, I fell on my faith and leaned on God. I knew He would not have led me away from a six figure income to end up on the streets. I began praying with her and telling her that our situation was temporary. My behavior, my daily routine, remained normal. Pretty soon, she started saying our situation was temporary. Her behavior returned to normal. Within weeks, the crisis began to disappear and was resolved in a couple of months. When another crisis hit, she knew how to handle it.

In looking around me, I realize there are different categories of leader. I see the leader who gets there before the people he is leading. I see my mentor, Mr. Orin Solomon, who has reached the business leadership positions I have as goals before me. I see the leader who gets there beside the people he is leading. I see Sir Edmund Hillary and Tensing Norgay who reached the top of Mt. Everest with the people they were leading. I see the leader who never gets there, but forges a path for the people he is leading to follow. I see President John F. Kennedy who set a goal in 1961 for the U.S. to reach the moon before the end of the decade, but died in 1963 before the goal was reached in 1969. And I see a leader moves from one category to another depending on the task at hand. After all, a leader is a visionary so when a goal is achieved, a leader just sets another goal in place.

So what have I learned while writing this post? Two things:

1) Change my narrow definition of leader and get it deep inside me right now.
2) Accept myself as a leader.

So what do I want you to take away from this post? Two things:

1) Change your definition of leader. A leader is a person who sometimes gets there before before the people she is leading, sometimes with the people she is leading and sometimes never gets there but forges a path for the people she is leading.

2) Repetition is, indeed, the mother of skill. If there is something you haven't gotten yet, keep reading, keep moving forward with what you have and one day, it will get deep inside of you and become part of you.

Question for Comment: Examine yourself and your life. Are in a leader? Why do you feel that way? Is it time for you to change your definition of leader?

Reading4Champions Book Club: February Book

2011-02-07T08:00:00.004-05:00

Hello Champions!

So far on our championship journey we have learned to re-think what opportunity means and to embrace it in "Opportunity Knocks" by Pat Mesiti. We learned to think like champions in "177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class" by Steve Siebold. We have learned to embrace setbacks and failures, and to move forward from them in "A Setup is a Setup for a Comeback" by Willie Jolley and in "Failing Foward" by John Maxwell. Last month, we learned to be tenacious and to never forsake our dreams in "Never Give Up!" by Joyce Meyer. (If you have not finished reading any of these books, continue until you do finish). There is no doubt we have amassed some powerful weapons to use on our championship journey.

The February book will further arm you in the mental arena.
Our book for this month's is "Play to Win", Choosing Growth over Fear in Work and Life by Larry Wilson and Hersch Wilson. The first time I read this book, I got excited and immediately recommended it to several people who also got excited. The authors talk about, among other things, the mindsets of playing not to lose and playing to win. Although these mindsets may appear to be the same, they are different with different responses. In playing not to lose, one responds with self-protection and self-promotion, staying in one's comfort zone, thinking irrationally, being closed minded and blaming others. In playing to win, one responds with basing truth on objective reality, making choices rationally, giving one's personal best, getting out of one's comfort zone, focusing on learning and growing, and being accountable for responses to events. Awesome!

My take away concept from this book, a concept that I apply, was to stop being a student at MSU, the University of Making Stuff Up. Yep, it is exactly what it sounds like....making up in your mind how a situation will turn out before you start. The made-up stuff is usually negative, causes fear to increase and you to stop. Don't laugh...I know you have played those kind of scenarios in your head several times in your life. As the authors say, "we are child prodigies of MSU."

So start reading so you can stop attending MSU!

Question for Comment: From the books we have read so far, which one has had the most impact on you? Why?

New New Year's Resolution

2011-01-17T08:00:00.013-05:00

Just as a young man's fancy turns to love in the spring, it's January of a new year and people's fancy turns to New Year resolutions. People resolve to change - loose weight, make more money, exercise more, eat healthier, save more money, etc. People resolve to do, or not to do, things that will improve their lives and give themselves a year to make the change. Resolutions are good and people are sincere in making these yearly resolutions. But statistics show that by the end of February, most people have forgotten their resolutions only to remember them again in December when it's time to make New Year resolutions again. This is not good. I propose a new New Year's Resolution: instead of only treating the beginning of a new year as a time to make resolutions, treat the beginning of a new day as a time to make resolutions.

I call my proposal New Day resolutions. It's not really as farfetched as you think. January is the beginning of a new fresh year, full of possibilities and each morning is the beginning of a new fresh 24 hours, full of possibilities. Instead of waiting a whole year to assess the status of your New Year's resolutions, you assess the status of your New Day's resolutions each night.

I made New Day resolutions last year. Each morning after I got up, I would review my goals and the previous day's resolutions to see what I didn't finish. Then I would make my New Day resolutions, write them down along with the previous day's unfinished resolutions and go to work! The result? Everyday, I was more focused on my resolutions and I was able to accomplish many things throughout the year. I didn't end 2010 blue and full of regrets over forgotten New Year's resolutions.

Give my proposal a try. See how it works for you. Go now...go make your New Day resolutions!

Question for Comment: Have you ever made New Year resolutions that you have forgotten about by the end of February? Do you think the concept of a New Day resolution will help you?

Reading4Champions Book Club: Never Give Up

2011-01-10T08:00:00.008-05:00

Happy New Year Champions!

In December, in "Failing Forward" by John C. Maxwell, we learned a powerful championship lesson: failing is okay, normal and to be embraced.

The book for January is "Never Give Up!" by Joyce Meyer. Ms. Meyer is one of the world's leading Bible teachers. She has written numerous inspirational books and is a #1 New York Times bestselling author. Her ministry, Enjoying Everyday Life®, is enjoyed by two-thirds of the planet daily over radio and television. I selected this book as our next read because it reinforces what we learned in "Failing Forward"- circumstances are always ideal, but we should learn something from the and never give up. Also, it's the first month of a new year, a time when you are making resolutions to change. What better time to change your mindset so that you will not abandon your resolutions by February, but actually accomplish them?

In the introduction, Ms. Meyer says:

Think of this book as a manual to use as you pursue the best in every area of your life. It will give you the inspiration you need to keep putting one foot in front of the other when you grow weary on your journey and remind you over and over again, in a variety of ways: you can do it if never give up.

This is the second time I am reading this book and I am excited! Already, I have highlighted ideas and concepts that I did not pick up on during my first read. Read pages 15-28 and tell me what you think in the comments section.

Question for Comment: Did you learn how to fail from reading last month's book? Do you have a book you would like to suggest for reading and why?

Thanking and Giving

2011-01-05T08:00:00.001-05:00

Each year, between November 1st and December 31, people focus on thanking and giving...... just in time for the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. Thinking of others is good, but thanking and giving are not relegated to a season. Thanking and giving are for everyday.

The Bible says:

"[i]n everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1Thessalonians 5:18

Think you have no one to thank or no reason to thank everyday? Well, for a moment, sit back and see yourself standing on a street corner with nothing but the clothes you have on right now. Imagine you have no home, no possessions, no job, no money, no family and no friends. Also imagine no one sees you and no one acknowledges you.
Now... do you someone (s) to thank or a reason (s) to thank everyday??? Yes, you do. Thanking is a way of acknowledging another person and it is a way of remembering you don't do it all by yourself.

And yes, thanking belongs in the workplace. I know... the secretary or tech support person or your boss is "doing their job". But thanking someone in the workplace for "doing their job" tells them they are appreciated. Studies have shown that it also improves morale in the workplace and we could all use that. So thank your family member for answering the phone, thank the bus driver, thank the person who holds the door for you. And of course, thank God for everything in your life whether big or small. Be sincere. And while you are at it, try adding a sincere "I appreciate what you do!" Watch and see how much joy you bring to the other person. I have said this to people working at the checkout in stores. I get a big smile in return and the joy of helping someone feel better.

Giving is akin to thanking. It too reminds you that you are not in the world all by yourself.  The Bible says:

     "There is one who scatters, yet increases more; And there is one who withholds more than is right, But it leads to poverty." Proverbs 11:24 and

     "He who has a generous eye will be blessed, For he gives of his bread to the poor." Proverbs 22:9

I have learned that giving impacts both the giver and the recipient in a positive way. Of course, the recipient feels good about receiving the item that was given, but the giver also feels good because the recipient feels good. A couple of years ago, my children decided they were ready to start departing with things that belonged to their deceased father. He was a true clothes horse with expensive tastes and had more than three closets full of suits, ties, shirts, sport jackets, slacks, jeans, coats, jackets, sweaters, braces (suspenders), belts, and more. So they started with his clothes. After taking what they wanted to keep, we took 2 carloads of clothes to a local men's shelter on Christmas Eve. When we returned home, my daughter told me how warm, happy and content she felt taking the clothes to the shelter and in seeing the men's excitement at receiving the clothes. We later found out that one man wore one of the suits to a job interview and got the job!

Giving doesn't always involve money. You can give your time, your talents, your skills, the list is endless. Here is a website I use all the time to give. Go to www.yahoo.com/groups and type in "freecycle" in the yahoo group search box. Freecycling is the recycling brand new or barely used things that you no longer need to other people who have a need for them. Find a Freecycle group in your area and join. Through Freecycle, I received a brand-new computer keyboard after I destroyed mine with milk and cereal, and brand-new ink cartridges for my printer. I have given away books, pet supplies, photo albums and yes, we also used Freecycle to give away some of his clothes. See what happens for you. The point is to give something every day. You will end up not with less, but with more.

Before I end this post, let me extend a warm "Thank You" to you for reading and sharing my blog!

Question for Comment: Do you agree that thanking and giving should be practiced everyday? How do you feel when you are thanked or are given something? Do you have any suggestions on how thanking and giving can be incorporated into everyday life?

Reading4Champions: December Book

2010-12-06T08:00:00.004-05:00

Hello Champions!

The November book, "A Setback is a Setup for a Comeback" by Willie Jolley, gave us great tools to effectively handle the bumps in the road of our championship journey. (if you haven't finished reading it, keep going until you do!) I don't know about you, but no more "awfulizing and catastrophizing" for me. As Mr. Jolley says, "you cannot control what happens around you, but you can control what happens in you." Remember, the purpose of the book club is not only to fill our minds with champion thinking, but also to implement champion behavior in our lives. So don't forget to take one or two of Mr. Jolley's tools and start using them right away.

Our December book is also about effectively handling the setbacks of life. This book was recommended to me by a mentor and was the first book I read by this gentleman who has become my favorite author of self-improvement books. My library is now full of his books. I even use his Leadership Bible which highlights the leadership principles found in the Bible. I have had the privilege of hearing him speak, or teach as he would say, on several occasions. He is known as America's expert on leadership.
The December book is "Failing Forward" by John C. Maxwell.

This book is a great companion to the November book because "Failing Forward" focuses on changing your perspective on failure so you want to get back up after a setback. At the beginning of the book, Mr. Maxwell explains just as he once feared, misunderstood and was unprepared for failure because of unrealistic views of success and failure, so do other people today. He then states the purpose of "Failing Forward" is to train people for failure so they can "learn how to confidently look the prospect of a failure in the eye and move forward anyway."

In Mr. Maxwell's training course, you will learn fifteen steps and implementable actions to failing forward. The step that graped me was the second step - Learn a New Definition of Failure. In implementing this step, you are to give yourself a mistake quota (20, 30, 50, 90) at the beginning of a project or task and try to hit it before bringing the project or task to completion. By having a mistake quota, you relax, view mistakes differently and begin to learn. I like this tool. I have put it in my toolbox and will be using it .... daily.

Enough from me. Time to start your failure training. I will check in with you in the middle of the month.

Question for Comment: What is your definition of failure right now? What is your definition of success right now? What shaped your definitions? Feel free to share your comments. Thank you.

Are You Missing You?

2010-11-22T08:00:00.002-05:00

The other day I was having a pity party. When I had a job, I had a high level of income and I could buy lots of stuff. That income has dropped since I chose to become self-employed. So while I was sitting at my computer wearing my "poor me" face, I decided I should look for a job-sharing or part-time job. Yeah, I reasoned I could work part-time and make some extra change and still have time to devote to my business. Yeah, I could have my cake and eat too! Yeah! So, I started my Google search and found some websites for employment. But as I was completing an application, I heard something inside me softly say, "If you work for someone else, you will never develop into the person you need to be for your business." I froze. Needless to say, I immediately left those websites and have not been back. But the incident got me thinking, "What kind of person am I going to develop into (I got excited!) and what would I miss if I didn't keep moving forward? It also got me thinking, "How many people never develop into the people they were meant to be?" In effect, are you missing you?

Now don't get me wrong. I am not saying you won't develop into the person you need to be if you have a job. That would be irresponsible. What I am saying, or asking rather, is: are you spending some of your time on activities you have a burning desire to do? If you have a burning desire to cook great food, are you cooking great food at all? If you have a burning desire to write a book or play, are you writing at all? If you have a burning desire to work with children, are you doing anything involving children (outside of your family) at all? Or have you given all of your time and energy to someone else's burning desire so that you have nothing left for you? So you are missing you?

I have learned that a burning desire is your purpose The real fact of the matter is you are the only person on this earth who can fulfill that purpose. I know what you are thinking.....there are already thousands of restaurants selling American food, there are already thousands of books written, there are already thousands of childrens organizations. But your burning desire, your purpose, is going to add something unique to what already exists based upon your uniqueness. That is why you have the desire. Sound far fetched? Think about it this way. Way back when, a person had a burning desire to create a mode of transportation other than a horse and the horseless carriage was born. Now, if the people who had a burning desire to create something else around that original idea, no matter how small the something, shelved their desire because, after all "the horseless carriage has been done", we would still be riding around in open-air, two seater horseless carriage with no doors, no windows, no heat, no A/C, no radio, no GPS and no jacks to charge our cellphones! Ewww!

De Dion motor carriage #2. c1901. Prints and Photographs Division, Library of Congress

I have learned that while pursuing your burning desire, you discover abilities you didn't know you had and you willingly adopt new talents and skills. And all these abilities, talents and skills grow you into a better you. And I have discovered an unnoticed side effect - you give hope and encouragement to others to pursue their burning desire.

Back in 2003, I developed a desire to write a book full of stories of encouragement for women because so many women have been beat down and they need to know they can recover and go on. Although I wrote everyday in my job, it was a chore so it never occurred to me to write it by myself. I rallied some female friends together around my desire, but it didn't go far. I didn't push it because I reasoned there were already plenty of books on self-improvement and encouragement . Well, earlier this year, I heard a columnist on social media at the MORE convention (I went to learn and to meet other successful women) say the majority of the buyers of her book were subscribers to her blog. The spark to write came off the shelf and today you are reading my blog, which will be converted into a book to encourage women. In fact, right now most of my subscribers are women!

So you ask, what have I found about me since I followed my burning desire and became self-employed? Well, I found a disciplined and focused person; I don't have to be a procrastinator. I also found a person who can feel fear, but move forward anyway. When I do, I expand my comfort zone and every time I expand my comfort zone, I become more confident. I see more opportunities and possibilities. I am excited!

So today, decide to take your burning desire off the shelf. Today, decide to spend some of your time, be it one hour a week, one weekend a month, pursuing that passion. You will find you. And you, and the world for that matter, will be better if you do than if you don't.

I recently received an email entitled Born to Achieve which contained this very appropriate message:

"Indeed, you have a driving desire to be useful in your own unique way. You have a driving desire to make a meaningful positive difference, and you're well-equipped to do so. Embrace the challenges with enthusiasm and positive expectation, and put your own special capabilities to work. You are born to achieve, and this is your opportunity to claim your magnificent birthright." -- Ralph Marston

Question for Comment: Are you missing you? Do you have a burning desire that you have shelved? If you have, what are you going to do? Decide TODAY! Feel free to share any comments you have about this post.