tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230Sun, 18 Oct 2026 17:58:18 +0000kid stuffembarrassing my familyamusementsmy mental issuescorporate droneryStamfordmiscellaneous rantingsThe Girl's Guest Appearancesbodily functionsmoral dilemmasFairfield Countycelebrity name-droppingextortionphoning it inquickiesvacationbalance THISexpoliting my familymiddle-class angstmy impending divorceunreasonable phobiasblogging and the internetshaving a momentself-congratulationwarping young mindsI really WAS one of the ugliest kids on the planetexploiting the richmarital relationsproof that reading is evilrunning2008 Donors ChooseI don't know how to label this.MILFsThe MomFather's guest appearancesbudding neurosescupcakes are carnageenvironmental angstgetting one's freak onirrational phobiaspoliticssquirrel-maimingwhat the kids call "the internet"Squeezing Pleasure from Business; Random Acts of Motherhood; Stuff That Catches My Fancyhttp://managermom.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)Blogger85125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6363107516979723629Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:45:00 +00002009-02-23T14:30:38.595-08:00expoliting my familykid stuffmoral dilemmasA friend of mine was kind enough to throw some last-minute tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters my way. I'm a big fan of cheap and cheesy entertainment, so The Spouse and The Spawn and I braved the most dangerous stretch of Connecticut highway to get ourselves to graffiti-laden Bridgeport, Connecticut (motto: yes, some people actually LIVE there) to catch the show.I first saw the Harlem http://managermom.blogspot.com/2009/02/on-sportsmanship.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-634452858791167165Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:28:00 +00002008-10-27T08:50:51.548-07:00Me: Kids, we need to talk.The Girl: Yes, I have been meaning to tell you that I want to go to Michaels and get stuff to make foam fairy monsters.Me: Uh, yeah. That's not exactly what I wanted to talk about. Kids, here's what I need to tell you: my company had to lay some people off, and I lost my job.The Boy: Does this mean we're going to lose our house? Are we going to live in a tent somewhere?http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/10/conversation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-9150841387867409557Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:52:00 +00002008-10-10T04:48:08.145-07:00vacationHey, Manager Mom! The economy’s in the crapper, your 401K is down by 20%, and companies like yours are laying people off left and right! So, what are you gonna do?I’m going to Disneyworld!Yep, with my usual impeccable timing, I managed to schedule this trip to happen right when the stock market is dropping faster than virgins on prom night. (Also a great time to ask people to donate to http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/10/come-smell-magic.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6321469890009491987Wed, 08 Oct 2008 01:43:00 +00002008-10-07T19:25:14.974-07:00corporate droneryI just got home from a business trip. Focus groups in Rosemont, Illinois.My plane was basically a flying Greyhound bus, allowing me to experience the full glory of moderate-to-severe turbulence, with the added bonus of a seatmate that spent the whole flight vigorously rearranging his man bits. To be fair, I ate a bean burrito before I got on the plane, so sitting next to me probably wasn’t any http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/10/i-just-got-home-from-business-trip.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6262143192020221729Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:43:00 +00002008-10-04T15:05:55.352-07:002008 Donors ChooseIt's Saturday. OJ Simpson has been convicted. The $700B bailout package has been passed.The universe is starting to inch towards sanity.Let's keep making the karmic gods happy. By throwing even a $5 donation to my 2008 Donors Choose giving page, you'll support worthy classroom projects like Mrs. G's effort to help her her high school students learn Spanish.By doing that you'll help me reach two http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/10/puppies-and-rainbows-and-soft-billowy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-3380182335081212857Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:22:00 +00002008-10-04T14:52:40.233-07:00kid stuffproof that reading is evilwarping young mindsWe're in Day 2 of the 2008 Donors Choose Bloggers competition - and one of the projects on my donation page has already been fully funded! Proof positive that the people who read this blog are the smartest and most attractive people on the planet.And your ass looks GREAT in those pants, by the way.Since education is the theme of the day, I thought I'd review a book that Spawn and I read together http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/10/always-blurb-before-you-read-cautionary.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6451561483294161702Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:35:00 +00002008-10-04T14:54:47.442-07:00warping young mindsThe other day, I got an email from a woman at Donor's Choose about participating in their 2008 blogger's charity event to benefit school programs, which is ironic because as some of you may remember, I've had a major beef with reading lately.But I've also been on this quest lately to try to be a nicer, better mother, which is not only exhausting, it's making Spawn think that I either have a http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/other-day-i-got-email-from-woman-at.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6544902003237688134Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:03:00 +00002008-09-29T09:46:48.788-07:00cupcakes are carnagekid stuffunreasonable phobiasSo...I haven't been blogging lately. And I'm afraid to blog about why I haven't been blogging, because most of what is torturing me lately is work related and I have no interest in being Dooced. Unless said Doocing comes with either widespread fame/fortune/adoration (like it did for her), or is accompanied by the kind of severance package that causes Congress to hold hearings on the injustice of http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/little-help-please.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)68tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-1705966828822571906Mon, 15 Sep 2008 01:19:00 +00002008-09-15T07:25:21.839-07:00I really WAS one of the ugliest kids on the planetMy birthday weekend is over, and I'm sad to see it go. I had such a good time using "But it's my birthday!" as an excuse to avoid all of the things that I didn't feel like doing, from the trivial (fetching the newspapers from the end of the driveway) to the disgusting (doing the final assists on The Boy's butt-wiping) to the obvious (did not cook a shred of food the entire weekend.)I meant to http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/manager-moms-gallery-of-shame-part-2.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)80tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6142381471905043110Fri, 12 Sep 2008 14:32:00 +00002008-09-14T18:38:35.249-07:00I really WAS one of the ugliest kids on the planetSunday is my birthday. I will be thirty-eight years old."Wow, ManagerMom!" People never say to me. "At 38, you're quite the cougar MILF! Have you always been this stunning?"To answer this question, I bring you portraits from the first eighteen years of my life, which my own mother faithfully saved in an 8 x 10 picture frame in our living room: Having seen some of my fellow bloggers on Fug Mug http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/manager-moms-gallery-of-shame-part-1.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)61tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-449764218187828514Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:25:00 +00002008-09-05T15:08:30.959-07:00squirrel-maimingI have freely admitted that I suck at most of the things that wives and mothers are traditionally good at, like cooking, cleaning, laundry, and having emotions.But the ONE domestic-ish thing that I USED be able to do was grow tomatoes.Until this year, when EVERY SINGLE TOMATO got stolen right off of the plants. At first, I thought one of my neighbors was playing a joke on me. Then I thought http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-will-run-you-down-like-vermin-you-are.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)70tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-7028321579446066915Wed, 03 Sep 2008 14:40:00 +00002008-09-03T12:32:51.286-07:00having a momentmarital relationsI spotted your secret signal to me in last week's Wall Street Journal, and I knew that you wanted to meet:I'm sorry that I blew you off, but I've been thinking about us a lot lately. Especially because this Friday is my and Manager Dad's ninth anniversary. It seems like this "starter marriage" of mine might actually stick.And so, because of my love for MD and our Spawn, I think that it's time http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/09/dear-keanu.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)55tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-4387716882505699478Sun, 31 Aug 2008 23:43:00 +00002008-09-01T18:52:32.352-07:00budding neuroseskid stuffThe Girl's Guest AppearancesFound this one when I was straightening her room. It may or may not be related to yesterday's list:Is she trying to re-enact a scene from the movie "Fargo"? Slay some vampires? Cross-stitch me a "Bless This Mess" needlepoint to hang on the kitchen wall?I better not piss her off, just in case she actually manages to get her hands on any of this stuff.Another shawty post... no need to click.http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/at-least-i-know-what-she-wanted-to-buy.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-8914727030950434674Sat, 30 Aug 2008 11:14:00 +00002008-08-31T16:52:30.152-07:00kid stuffThe Girl's Guest AppearancesI found this when I was cleaning up the random papers on the coffee table early this morning:I can't even begin to figure this list out. I mean, she's SEVEN YEARS OLD. Midgets and prison? Is this a list of things she wants to do over the holiday weekend?Nothing below the fold, no need for clickage.http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/girl-is-starting-to-worry-me-with-her.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)46tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-591668049027461316Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:56:00 +00002008-08-27T06:54:23.538-07:00amusementskid stuffvacationThis weekend, Manager Dad and I wanted to give Spawn an end-of-summer last hurrah by planning a weekend activity that was more fun than our usual trip to Costco. I have a friend who lives in New York City who was going to be out of town, and she very nicely (although I am pretty sure I saw fear in her eyes) agreed to let us stay in her apartment.With the free place to stay, I thought we could do http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/ill-take-manhattan.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-767876035957787150Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:35:00 +00002008-08-25T03:52:13.334-07:00balance THISembarrassing my familykid stuffLast Friday, summer camp officially ended.To mark the occasion, the counselors decided to stage a hip-hop dance recital, because after all, nothing says “I’ve had a great summer” better than a bunch of white Jewish kids trying to breakdance to the vocal stylings of Kanye West.The NIGHT BEFORE (thanks for all the advance notice, counselors!) I was informed through the state of the art “crumpled http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/saving-drama-for-her-mama.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)67tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-868299821058638753Mon, 18 Aug 2008 23:53:00 +00002008-09-27T18:01:30.797-07:00Thanks to everyone who has made writing this blog so much fun. I'm going to be taking a break for a while. http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/on-hiatus.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6308409602041379038Fri, 15 Aug 2008 14:16:00 +00002008-08-15T13:44:03.442-07:00my mental issuesphoning it inI see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm ALMOST sure that it's not an oncoming train.I have eighteen half-finished posts. End of summer Spawn emotional train wreckage! Vast right-wing conspiracy of back to school extortion! Secret affairs and breakups! Horribly embarassing photos of myself as a child! But that will all have to wait until I finally have time to write some shit, hopefully http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-long-overscheduley-nightmare-is.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-7657188139908806965Thu, 07 Aug 2008 01:02:00 +00002008-08-07T12:40:15.052-07:00expoliting my familyThe Girl's Guest AppearancesI twittered (tweeted? twattered? twut?) yesterday about how when I got home last night, The Girl came running up to me, all kinds of proud because her front tooth was loose."How'd THAT happen?" I asked her."My friend Katie kicked me in the face today!" she said happily.Katie must have some sort of karate belt, because she did a solid job on on that sucker. Not even 24 hours later, the tooth fell http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/further-proof-that-girl-is-my.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)86tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-1645897366229873313Sun, 03 Aug 2008 19:51:00 +00002008-08-16T18:55:11.396-07:00phoning it inwarping young mindsLet me apologize AGAIN for the stench of laziness wafting from my blog this week.I still haven't caught up from vacation and now I'm taking five MORE vacation days to teach an undergraduate advertising class at a local college. I've been spending all of my free time reading the textbook (which I never bothered to do when I was actully in college) and getting my lectures ready.Tuition is about $http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/miseducation-of-americas-youth.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6740755335089819706Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:50:00 +00002008-08-04T17:31:49.215-07:00blogging and the internetsFairfield CountyStamfordLast night, the Fairfield County Blog & Grog Society (founding member: Always Home And Uncool) had our second meetup. It was like a miniature BlogHer, except with mosquitos, nachos, and men. The other difference? No swag. We couldn't even get free drinks from the bartender, who remained unmoved by the huge lies about the mighty weight of our combined blogpower.We had people ranging from a http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/08/its-no-san-francisco.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-8655078191463944617Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:35:00 +00002008-08-09T07:16:19.252-07:00balance THISexpoliting my familyThe Girl's Guest AppearancesThings are going to be crazy these next ten days.A very insightful woman that I once knew (who nonetheless had the unfortunate habit of speaking almost exclusively in the language of "cliche") once told me, "When you are juggling a lot of different balls in the air, you need to figure out which ones are glass and which ones are rubber."Since I have already eliminated sleeping, my only rubber http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/07/triage.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-9135013274707907084Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:24:00 +00002008-07-28T20:20:41.891-07:00I don't know how to label this.Yesterday, I could have lost my son.There was no showy drama: no squealing tires or screeching brakes; no speedy trips to the emergency room or sober-looking doctors with grim pronouncements; no scary strangers lurking at the playground.It was just dinner.Manager Dad was out, squeezing in a quick nine holes before the sun set. I was tired from unpacking and hadn’t had a chance to go to the store,http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-could-have-been.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)86tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-6269087892564774Sun, 27 Jul 2008 15:57:00 +00002008-07-27T18:49:38.669-07:00phoning it inquickiesvacationEstimated days it will take to unpack and reassimilate all crap: 3Percentage of tomato plants that died while we were away: 89%Hours of unwatched shows on the DVR: 18Toilets containing week-old unflushed kid pee: 1 Length of unmowed grass: 19 inches tallMinutes that The Girl cried in the car on the way home: 27Minutes that Spawn slept in the car: zeroTotal pounds gained: 6Number of digital photoshttp://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/07/statistical-analysis-of-my-post.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8912438446371794230.post-2556142031891716498Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:26:00 +00002008-07-27T11:45:40.958-07:00marital relationsvacationDay three of our vacation. Wish you were here?It has been raining. Every. Single. Day. With no break in sight.Being cooped up and forced to endure relentless family togetherness has sparked escalated levels of intra-Spawn violence, which, while irritating, at least gets them good and tired. So last night, exhaustion mixed with pathological boredom caused them to pass out early, opening up a rare http://managermom.blogspot.com/2008/07/ive-had-time-of-my-life.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Manager Mom)64