tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48628990326954616682024-11-01T02:07:24.084-07:00Life is too damn funny to take it seriouslyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-59050308581094174732012-03-29T13:47:00.001-07:002012-03-29T13:54:11.147-07:00

I love you too! Feel free to follow me. Much love to my readers in China, Russia, Australia, Macedonia, Mexico, Portugal, Romania, Spain, United Kingdom, India, Germany, France, Canada and the US too. I appreciate your support.

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-47416857630016716082012-03-29T12:57:00.001-07:002012-03-29T17:49:57.965-07:00

So it is now the day after the Mega Millions drawing and you once again did not win. An 89 year old woman and a hick from the outback of Utah split the $600 million jackpot. What do you do next? You were so convinced you would win that you told your boss where he could 'shove it'. You told your fellow employees about your plans to do burnouts in the parking lot with the new Ferrari you were going

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-54322537425126248272012-03-19T05:59:00.001-07:002012-03-19T07:32:11.727-07:00

Out of shape people and armchair coaches assemble. It's time once again to ride the backs of college kids from all over the country. Armed with a solid ten minutes of college bball knowledge amassed from last night's Sportscenter and the ability to cut and paste in a spreadsheet it is time to go to work on March Madness brackets. There are a few things that are guaranteed, you will go into it '

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-53842294943368165012012-03-10T19:10:00.001-08:002012-03-16T06:37:27.782-07:00

Once again we are getting ready to celebrate the world's most unifying holiday. A day in which we all dress up in funny hats and flashing buttons. A day where employment temporarily spikes for people under 3'2". A day we all chase the rainbow. No, it's not national Starburst Day and although we all drink a little too much and guys hug a lot, it's not gay pride week either. Time to put on your

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-61176845237941134482012-02-29T16:49:00.001-08:002012-02-29T16:49:12.688-08:00

Anyone born on Leap Day realizes that it may quite possibly be the biggest 'screw you' life has ever offered you. Let's take a closer look. Being born on Leap Day is the equivalent to Farrah Faucet dying on the same day as Michael Jackson. "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the breaking news out of Hollywood that beloved Angel, Farrah Fau...wait....we interrupt this interruption to bring

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-7467132644032769812012-02-28T05:48:00.001-08:002012-02-28T05:48:11.637-08:00

As I lay half asleep in my fluffalla bed, visions of Angelina Jolie's leg are stuck in my head. It is so lovely and so full of life, but I do hope they soon stop with that photoshop knife. For her children need it to climb on, Brad needs it in bed. Just this morning I saw it, photoshopped with a head. I tried to plant more with a toe as the seed, but they keep getting stolen by that nasty old

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-26207373436980309372012-02-23T05:41:00.002-08:002012-03-09T07:52:18.561-08:00

I recently got into a discussion with an office colleague about the disposal of spent nuclear rods via a rocket shot into space. The spirited debate, as to what to do with our leftover nuclear waste, continued for a while and increased in audience. The overwhelming reasoning for not packing a missle with our old, really hot, radiation oozing rods (and used tires) and launching it to destination

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-23396442301775819902012-02-15T20:50:00.001-08:002012-02-16T20:10:33.172-08:00

You my friend are awesome. While most of us are wearing plain boring long sleeve dress shirts and letting life push us around, you don't just roll up your sleeves, you simply won't allow a sleeve to ever touch your forearm. And to show life that you mean business, you set them elbow length sleeves ablaze. Hell, even the tails of your shirt are on fire, making it the hottest fashion statement at

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-15982649247876380632012-02-10T04:40:00.001-08:002012-02-10T04:50:07.329-08:00

When I do good, I feel good.  When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion. - Abraham Lincoln ...and with that, Abe's  hopes and dreams of making the cover of the dime were dashed - jts

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-49849638031293647392012-02-09T18:16:00.001-08:002012-02-09T18:16:22.891-08:00

As I watch the television set and see real life struggles play out in from of my eyes, I cry out, "Why oh why God do you allow such tribulations to overcome our younger generation? They are just kids. Have mercy on them please oh Lord."  I can't beleive my eyes. They are passing out. There are ambulances being called. Fighting, loneliness, sickness, crying and exhaustion. It's like the news

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-88471912712425896172012-02-08T07:53:00.001-08:002012-02-09T06:42:46.345-08:00

It has been drilled into all of us that multitasking is an effective and efficient means to get alot accomplished in a short amount of time. "Hi I'm Bob, I can multitask." "OK Bob, your hired. We need more people like you." What our pal Bob really means is "Hi I'm Bob, If you just let me hammer out projects one at a time, they would be done efficiently, effectively and without error. But, if I

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-23826571418308930552012-02-05T10:31:00.001-08:002012-02-05T10:48:06.851-08:00

Just when I have my doubts about His existence, God proves to me that I have nothing to worry about in the afterworld. This time it came in the form of Madonna saying "I promise that there will be no wardrobe malfunction." Thank you again God. I will be sure to leave something extra in the collection plate this Sunday. But more on that later. We all have noticed that, besides a few instances (

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-26002688580490349052012-01-31T09:39:00.001-08:002012-02-03T09:05:20.810-08:00

By now most of us have had a job where a Standard Operating Procedure was used for something or other. For the lucky few of you who have never been subjected to an S.O.P., please forward my resume to your human resource department, I want in. I will bring morning donuts with me. As for the rest of us, we have to follow a specific set of guidelines that dictate our every move and bodily function

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-13711374575493435442012-01-27T05:20:00.001-08:002012-01-27T05:28:36.491-08:00

Now for something way out of left field. Remember, the title of this page is "Random Thoughts..." Now where to start? How about with the article from the newspaper. 'The Country music world was rocked today with the news that country music legend and notorious bad boy, 2shot Mcgraw, was found dead this morning in his buckshot rittled Chevy pickup truck. Police suspect the heavily publicized, so

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-44744176624108035732012-01-22T11:26:00.001-08:002012-02-02T05:18:47.731-08:00

By now just about all of us have heard that, according to the Mayan calander, December 21, 2012 spells Doomsday for the world as we know it. That is unless you were living under a rock, which ironically enough would keep you much safer than those of us who haven't used the heads-up to prepare ourselves with our own state of the art underground bunker accommodations. If the rock dweller describes

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-69038014139430647982012-01-17T19:49:00.001-08:002012-01-18T04:12:58.772-08:00

For anyone who needs to leave their house and commute to work, via driving themselves, you all have experienced the 'guy who's not late for work'. The other 99.9% of us on the other hand are running late for work and would appreciate if he could join the crowd.  So I offer this ode to him. We are the many, who would like to be on time and would be if not for you ol' Mr. I Got Up Extra Early

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-55164289255648782742012-01-16T12:46:00.001-08:002012-01-21T17:04:44.643-08:00

We all have watched movies who's soundtrack is customized to the individual scenes. For instance, "Time of My Life" plays as we watch Baby and Johnny's dance finale in the 80's masterpiece Dirty Dancing. Through this we have the feeling injected, directly into our souls that.....well..... they are having the 'time of their lives'. You may, depending on where you are, start dancing around the

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-45729828494200740652012-01-12T05:16:00.000-08:002012-01-12T05:16:33.517-08:00

Have you ever run into an old high school friend out at the mall and wondered to yourself, "Wow, that dude looks exactly the same as he did ten/fifteen/twenty years ago"? Although your not thinking "Wow he looks great for his age". It's more like "Damn that dude looks like my old high school janitor would have if he dressed like us in 1987". Yes sir, what I'm talking about is the poor

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-88455141747952534282012-01-10T06:05:00.000-08:002012-01-21T16:25:06.879-08:00

Reality television stars. We all have heard about them, seen them in tabloids or if your desperate to inject some adventure into your life, have dared watch their antics live and in person (using the tv screen as a buffer though). For experiencing this type of reality without the eight teaser warmups has proven hazardous to your health. What I'm talking about is the shows merciful though

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-40728035700982251472012-01-08T21:25:00.000-08:002012-01-21T16:28:06.911-08:00

I think the biggest pet peeve I have is pet peeves themselves. Everyone seems to have them.  People seem to  love them more when they have peeves in common. The 'Commonite  Peevers' are quite entertaining once they get on a roll. It usually starts off with a peever peeving about a pet peeve from something they noticed earlier in the day. For example "I just hate it when people

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-55467144055771261322012-01-07T19:10:00.000-08:002012-01-07T20:08:30.822-08:00

Have you ever wondered how the average day plays out for a psycho? Average meaning the majority of the days where no killing, stalking or creapy ass oogling is taking place. We all have read the news, seen the movies, been the victims (most likely not reading this right now) or actually are the lunatic psychopaths. There's the craziness of showing up at pretty much every sorority where the girls

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-47720742259335578162012-01-06T06:16:00.000-08:002012-01-06T06:16:09.523-08:00

Oh, the health food store. As the name implies, a health food store should be a store where all of the food is healthy. With isles of carrots, broccoli, rice cakes and vitamin water. So, as a resolution to the bettering of my health, I take a trip to the local Feel Rite (notice that the names of you favorite HFS imply the feeling you will get when you go there. Also notice that 'Rite', for our

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-87811500155702831332012-01-05T19:20:00.001-08:002012-01-21T17:53:03.148-08:00

Have you ever had a neighbor that keeps their lawn cut tighter than a marine crew cut while you are barely keeping up with the city ordinance to keep the grass eye level or lower? If yes then I'm with you. Now when you move into the suburbs from the city like I have done, you learn that lawn maintenance is at a whole new level in the burbs. It's kind of like going from high school ball directly

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-25870502744018752402012-01-04T05:39:00.000-08:002012-01-04T06:50:17.827-08:00

OK, first of all this won't be me preaching to you about going to church or saving yourself our anything like that. I'm sure you get enough of that when you answer the door early Saturday or Sunday morning thinking "I bet these two people at my door, all dressed up with pamphlets in thier arms are here to tell me I won a sweepstakes. The balloons and confetti must be in the mini van they parked

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4862899032695461668.post-16783557650207977852012-01-01T18:12:00.000-08:002012-01-20T09:10:07.513-08:00

Where to start? So many topics to talk about. Let's start with the disclaimer. First of all I will probably offend everyone at one point or another but I believe I will offended everyone equally without bias. Today's topic: The Mini Blizzard. Now if you live in a wintry place that gets lots of snow, you know what I'm talking about. The amazing mini blizzards that are generated from the giant

Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0