Doing It "The Little Way"

Yearning for Eden

2010-12-02T00:33:00.002-05:00

So how did our yearning for Eden come to be? Since the time of Adam and Eve, we have yearned to live in perfect harmony with nature and to be in communion with God as through His Son, He promised us both. Along with this promise, He warned Adam and Eve that human nature was not capable of handling the knowledge of good and evil. Unfortunately, the ancient serpent convinced them otherwise with a lie. From then on, Adam and Eve, along with the rest of us, have been barred from entering the Garden of Eden. Since then, we have longed to return to Eden.

Throughout history, this yearning has manifested itself in many ways. In fact, American literature is full of essays, stories, and poetry with the theme of returning to Eden. Thoreau has his “Walden Pond” – a detailed account of living for two years in a shack of his own construction on land near Concord, Massachusetts. While written long ago, the essay has not lost any of its power with his appeal for all of us to “simplify simplify simplify.” If anything, that appeal has only grown over time. Then there’s John Milton who immersed himself in the perfect world of Eden in “Paradise Lost” – a rich garden everyone sought, including Satan, who hoped to destroy it and in his quest to do so received directions from none other than a helpful angel who had no concept of evil. Finally, who can forget “East of Eden” – John Steinbeck’s novel that revolves around the theme of good and evil.

One doesn’t have to look very far or very long ago to realize the art world is full of masterpieces depicting the search for paradise too. Currently on exhibition at Boston University School of Visual Arts is a collection of photographs entitled In Search of Eden: A Work in Progress by the collective TRIIIBE. A collaborative effort among founders Alicia, Kelly, Sara Casilio, and Cary Wolinsky along with many artists, this series of photographs revisits the biblical creation story, the notion of temptation, and the eternal quest for Eden. Continuously evolving, this exhibit plays with cultural ideas of identity and values.

Then there is you and me. We too have a desire to return to our original state of being with this desire manifesting itself in our life choices. For this reason it is a formidable source of motivation for us whether positive or negative. In our desire to be empowered, we seek Eden in our work. In craving oneness, intimacy, and perfect love, we seek Eden in our relationships with those we feel a connection. In seeking peace of mind and enlightenment, we seek Eden by embracing beliefs and following a spiritual path. In seeking beauty, we seek Eden when we pursue creative activities. In seeking to numb the pain of life’s stresses, we find ourselves succumbing to an addiction or a bad habit, when we are actually seeking Eden’s joy. Throughout our life and in everything we do good or bad, our life choices reflect a deep, largely unconscious desire to return to the “Garden of Eden” to reclaim the joy and ecstasy we lost so long ago.

So what is it about Eden we really seek? It’s not for its real estate. Rather, what we really yearn for is a feeling of “home” within the beautiful paradise God promised us. In the truest sense, this “home” never really left us and is within our reach. It’s just that in using our gift of free will, we have made many life choices… one of which being to leave “home.” Tempted and caught up in the unknown, we lose sight of where we were. Losing our way, we then struggle to find our way back home again. Just like the father who embraces his prodigal son upon returning home, God too is waiting for us. At the entrance of the Garden of Eden, He is waiting to embrace us upon our return. It is only then we realize this that we not only come home to God’s warm embrace, but we also once again experience the pure joy and total ecstasy that is Eden.

Do You Believe in Second Chances?

2010-11-14T17:02:00.000-05:00

The other night, Justin and I were talking about "second chances" and how blessed we are that our Lord gives us many of them and not just two as the phrase would infer. As he spoke, it made me think about the series of heartbreaks I experienced over the years and how truly blessed I am now that I finally found love after three "second chances". Blessed not only because our Lord gave me three "second chances", but blessed because he threw in a bonus -- an opportunity to redefine and expand the meaning of family. Like many, the first time out at love I was young and foolish. Not realizing I already had it, I gave it up for a "second chance". I soon regreted that "second chance" as it eventually ended in divorce. When I finally opened my heart up to the possibility of love again many years later, I was older, but still a bit foolish when it came to my second "second chance" with love. Still young-at-heart and naive in many ways, I had feelings for my third love that I now know he never felt for me. The relationship eventually ran its course , ending with bad feelings on both sides. It wasn't until I made a concious decision to change myself and my life rather than expecting the world to change for me that love finally came to me. It only came to me when I learned to appreciate its many forms and when I wasn't pursuing it.

Whether you're an athlete (Tiger Woods, Michael Vick, Roger Clemens, or Alex Rodriguez), a politician (Elliot Spitzer, Gary Hart, or Richard Nixon), an ex con, drug addict, a single parent, or an "average Joe or Josephine" who said or did something they later regretted , we often hear the mantra, 'everybody deserves a second chance.' Is this really true? Should we always give another a second chance? Are there any circumstances where someone does not deserve a second chance? For example, when they said or did something deemed "unforgivable" for the umpteenth time. Or, should we always err on the side of forgiveness?

"Second chances" are not only about forgiveness and reconciliation; they are also about treating others how we wish to be treated. For example, if you lost your savings and had to file for bankruptcy, wouldn't you want a "second chance" to gain financial stability? If you lost your job at no fault of your own for the third time, wouldn't you want a local employer to have enough faith in you to hire you? After going through a divorce, or a series of betrayals or abusive relationships, wouldn't you want yet another chance to know lasting love? "Second chances" are about offering hope to those who only know of despair; unconditional love to those who only know anger, hatred, or indifference; trust to those who only know of betrayal; and abundance to those only knowing poverty. In real terms, it means providing programs that help ex-cons, drug addicts, and single parents who want to change their life in a positive direction find work and keep it. It means donating food and clothing the homeless and lower income individuals who find themselves without the necessary resources to sustain themselves; providing rehabilitation centers and transitional housing for those who need a chance to heal; and offering after-school programs to our at-risk youth who are in need of positive role models to turn their lives around.

Does everyone deserve a "second chance"? Absolutely. As Peter asked Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” To that Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." It doesn't mean, however, you have to be stupid or naive about it as I was about love. For example, if your son embezzles money from your business, a "second chance" may mean forgiveness and reconciliation so as to maintain a loving relationship with him. Yet you do have to be smart about it. Don't hire him to do the books for your business. Or if a former love cheated on you, a "second chance" may mean to take a step back, learn from the mistakes you made in the relationship, and work through the issues so you have a chance to remain friends after the split. It doesn't mean, however, you should renew a romance with him anytime soon.

What a "second chance" is really about is giving others what we want others to give us.... as many opportunites as it takes to learn and grow from our mistakes; a safe place to make whatever changes are needed to move our life in a positive direction; and most of all a chance to reclaim what we once had and to reach our full potential and to become... the person God meant us to be. So don't save "second chances" for the holiday season. Rather, offer them up to those lives you touch every day of the year.

Is Revenge Ever Good?

2010-11-14T17:00:00.002-05:00

My partner and I were having a discussion the other night about revenge, which then spilled over to our breakfast conversation the following morning about whether revenge was ever good. Not the war variety mind you where a group of individuals save a country from a dictatorship, but the personal variety where one individual feels as though they have to “get even” with another for their misdeeds. The discussion left me feeling as though I had unfinished business to resolve, if only “on paper”, as the topic seems to come up time and time again. It came up again when my partner viewed a revenge movie called “Repo Man” with his son as part of the father-son bonding experience. He summed up the viewing by saying that he survived the gore and gross parts and actually liked the story line… that is until it took an unexpected turn in the wrong direction with the “bad guy” ultimately “winning”. After that, he was sorely disappointed. That made me think: Is revenge ever good? Are there really any clear winners where revenge is concerned? Most of all… what happens when we’re exposed to a steady diet of it?

Is revenge ever good?
This can be tough to answer as in some respects the movie’s results mirror real life. By that I mean, we often go into a negative situation thinking we can handle it. Things remain fine as long as we find ourselves on the winning side. Yet, if we find our self on the wrong side of revenge, or discover the “win” is a shallow victory at best, then revenge doesn’t quite have the same feeling attached to it. While movies and TV have a way of clearly defining “good” and “evil”, these roles are less defined in real life. In fact, “good” and “evil” are often relative based on one’s vantage point and can quickly take on a new meaning when you start to see things from a different point of view. Case in point: prior to my current relationship, I had a seven-year relationship with a man who over time became many things to me. During our time together, “Mark” was a compassionate friend, a handyman, a lover, and a spiritual mentor. From all appearances, our relationship was a mutually satisfying one for a long time… that is until he moved on to someone new half his age. No longer feeling for me what I felt for him, our relationship eventually changed. Understandably, I not only felt hurt and angry about the change, but I also felt betrayed when he could not be honest with his current love about the level of intimacy we once shared. Soon my anger turned to revenge, with clearly defined roles: I was good to his evil. Back then, I justified everything I said and did; some of which I would never do or say under “normal” circumstances. I questioned his motives and integrity; did a background check on him to “clarify” known discrepancies; and discredited him in front of his love interest every chance I got. I justified it all by thinking he deserved all things bad. Like all revenge… the goal was to hurt him a thousand fold more than he hurt me. But was it really worth it?

Are there any clear winners?
The answer is no. While many never “get it”, I eventually did. Revenge requires a great deal of time and effort, with an enormous amount of energy expended on the negative rather than on doing something positive. Before you know it, it becomes a way of life, affecting everything you say and do and every life you touch. Imprisoned by anger, darkness starts to consume your entire life and your world falls apart. If that is not enough…while your adversary may have experienced some pain along the way, it never matches the anguish you feel. So if you’re looking for a victory, it will be a very shallow one at best.

So what happens when we’re exposed to a steady diet of revenge?
It varies from individual to individual. In my case, revenge was a constant reminder of a significant relationship lost. The pain lingered within my heart and soul for months, much like an open wound that refuses to heal. The sheer mention of his name brought tears to my eyes. As much as he hurt me, I had lost and could not reclaim what I once cherished… a deep connection with a man who loved and accepted me at a time when I really needed someone like him in my life.

So is there an alternative to revenge?
Yes. About 6 months after my relationship with “Mark” ended, the Lord presented me with an opportunity to redeem myself in the form of a jury summons. As an alternate juror, I had an opportunity to see my relationship with “Mark” play out in a courtroom setting, with the defendant and plaintiff playing young versions of “Mark” and myself. I saw and heard all the evidence and relived all the drama; this time as an objective observer. As I experienced it all, it felt like déjà vu; this time from a different vantage point, a new heart, and fresh pair of eyes. By the trial’s end, I found myself emotionally drained and totally invested in the situation and its outcome. Imagine my surprise when I learned as an alternate juror I was excused from duty just as the jury was to deliberate. What’s more, imagine how I felt when I learned I would never know the outcome as the case would be sealed due to the plaintiff’s age. Angry at first, I soon realized it was a blessing in disguise. No longer in control of the situation, justice would be served, not by me, but rather by a higher authority and without my knowledge or involvement. In that moment I finally let go of "Mark" along with all the mixed feelings of love and hate I had for him. And in the very same moment, my heart learned there was a positive alternative to revenge known as “forgiveness”; not for “Mark”, but for myself so I could move forward with my life and start the healing process.

While “Mark” is not yet ready to renew contact, I am hopeful he will be one day soon. When we do meet up again, I will be ready as I am thankful not only for what we once shared, but for what I learned as a result of our relationship’s end. From both, I learned about the possibility of new beginnings when both are ready to heal. What's more, I will be able to share the following 7 tenets to Healing Relationships with him:
1.     Forgive the person whether or not you ever speak to them again and before you ever invite them into the process. This gives you greater success in mending the relationship as forgiveness frees you from the anger that only gets in the way of fixing relationships.
2.     Apologize with an unconditional apology, even if only written as an unsent letter. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong, or whether they hurt you, or you hurt them if you truly love this person and want them back in your life.
3.     Listen, really listen to what the other person has to say without getting mad, cutting them off, or reminding them of what they did wrong.
4.     Do not have any expectations of receiving an apology, as you may never get one. If the need for an apology is greater than your desire to have them back into your life, then the rift may never be resolved.
5.     Share your feelings, explaining why you were hurt and/or angry only after completely listening to what your loved one has to say. Do so without making accusation such as “You did this or that". Use feeling phrases such as "When you did this, it made me feel..."
6.     Leave the door open as your loved one may not be ready to forgive. Rather than getting angry, tell them that you love them very much and want them back in your life.
7.     Wait no matter how long it takes. Then do just that. Once some time has passed, try to contact them again. Finally, do not rush things, rather take whatever time is needed to make things right again.

What and Where is Eden?

2010-09-25T20:19:00.001-04:00

What and Where is Eden? As narrative about creation tells it in the Book of Genesis, God creates Eden as a home for Adam and his life partner, Eve. Looking down on the wonder and beauty that is this great paradise, God is very pleased. Loving Adam and Eve as much as He does, God entrusts them with the care of Eden along with its magnificent gardens. God’s only commandment to them is … eat fruit from any tree in the garden, with the exception of one – the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. At first, both Adam and Eve are good with this… after all Eden is paradise with more abundance than either you or I can imagine. Before you know it though, the crafty Serpent enters the picturesque setting and quizzes Eve. Things only go downhill from there when the Serpent asks Eve why she avoids eating from this tree. In the dialogue that ensues between the two, Eve elaborates saying God issued a commandment not eat of that tree’s fruit, explaining she would die even if she touches the forbidden fruit. As we know, the Serpent is quite the charmer, with Eve eventually succumbing to it, convincing her that she would not die; rather, she and Adam would "be as gods, knowing both good and evil." Not stopping there, the Serpent persuades Eve to pick the most delectable-looking fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Of course, she cannot resist and bites into it. Before very long, Eve walks over to Adam, shares some of her fruit with him, and he too succumbs to temptation! The rest, as they say, is history. The two come "to know good and evil," evidenced by an awareness of their nakedness and a whole host of others vulnerabilities. If that is not bad enough, God finds out, confronts them, judges them for disobeying Him, and ultimately expels them from Eden forever, with neither able to partake from the Tree of Life again Since then, God has Archangel Uriel with an omnidirectional "flaming sword" guarding the gates of Eden , preventing current and future generations from entering into it.

So where is Eden exactly? Over the years, there have been a number of claims as to the actual geographic location of Eden and its magnificent gardens. Most of these accounts, however, have little or no connection to the text of Genesis, which places Eden among four rivers – the Pishon, the Gihon, the Tigris, and the Euphrates. This places Eden somewhere between Najaf and Kufa in the Middle East.

While this is the biblical and the most common perception of Eden, many of us – myself included – also have our own version of Eden. Not the unattainable variety, mind you, lost thanks to Adam and Eve’s misdeeds, but rather the kind of paradise in which we still have a chance to return. From this vantage point, many view Eden as any place where we find beauty and wonderment such as Letchworth Park, the Grand Canyon, Longwood Gardens, or even Niagara Falls. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance – our friends, co-workers, parents, siblings, children, spouses, or clergy. Still there are others who believe Eden is an alternative way of life that naturists, vegetarians, and those sharing communal living with an extended family espouse. Then there’s the paradisaical state of mind, a change of attitude resulting from an epiphany, a near-death experience, or a life-altering event.

Tragically, like Adam and Eve, it often takes loss to discover and appreciate the abundance we have been given. For example, in my search for love and acceptance, I became so anxious at one point that I no longer saw God’s abundance; nor did I see the role He graced me with as a sign of His love. In fact, it was not until I hit rock bottom that I realized just how much I abused life’s gifts –mine and that of others – rather than take care of His Creation. What was rock bottom? For me, it occurred over a period of a year. During that time I was betrayed by and ultimately ended a seven year, often tumultuous, relationship with a man with whom I loved very deeply. Shortly after, work became scarce, bills piled up, savings dwindled, and I was on the verge of losing my home. It was only when I humbled myself enough to turn over myself and my troubles to God and made a conscious decision to amend my life from that day forward that everything in my life started to change for the better. That’s when I found Eden in a place, a person, a lifestyle, and state of mind. Eden is Holley’s Glen Falls… a place where I feel most serene, a place where I reflect and pray, and where I feel closest to God. Eden is an incredibly wise and loving man with whom I have found unconditional love and acceptance. Just as my last relationship was ending, God placed Justin in my life to help me through the despair. Just as I was on the brink of losing my home, Justin offered his love and resources. Just as I felt alone in the world, Justin showed me the way and the Holy Spirit filled my heart. Before very long, I started to believe in myself and my potential, pursue dreams I did not know possible, and most of all… embrace the possibilities. Eden is a change in lifestyle. Married in spirit, if not in name, Justin and I have blended our families to create a larger, more loving one. Finally, Eden is a shift in mindset, away from the dark and the negative and towards a positive one full of light. Admittedly, this is something I am still working on to perfect.

So what and where is Eden? Eden is the home in which God wants all of us to return. Not just a physical place, Eden is a state of mind, the contentment felt when we claim or reclaim what we miss, long for, or lost along the way. Eden comes to us in remarkable ways when we connect or reconnect with our selves, our dreams, with the people we met, ignored, or left behind on our way to somewhere else. Eden is also a lifestyle we desire, but may have left behind, pushed away, or overlooked in our attempt to fit in. Most of all, Eden is wherever you are, within your reach, often found where you forget to look, and where unconditional love and acceptance begins...within your own self.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Return to Eden

2010-09-25T20:18:00.000-04:00

Last month, my partner and I visited Longwood Gardens, located on US Route 1, about 3 miles northeast of Kennett Square, PA, for the second year in a row. If you have never been there, then you have not yet experienced the most breathtaking gardens imaginable. Encompassing 1,050 acres of gardens, woodlands, and meadows, your senses have an opportunity to take in the fragrances of over 11,000 types of plants and see more fountains than any other garden in the US! Story has it that Pierre S. du Pont purchased the Peirce Arboretum in 1906 to save its trees from being cut down for lumber. Over the next 50 years, Mr. du Pont developed Longwood Gardens into what it is today for many - a magnificent horticultural paradise that delights the senses. For Justin and I, each visit to Longwood Gardens conjures up a return to Eden… if only for a day.

Since that time, Justin and I have had many conversations about returning to Eden; not necessarily to Longwood Gardens, but to a simpler time, place, and circumstance where we each feel completely free to be and accepted for who God wants us to be.

It is these recent experiences that got me to thinking about the Garden of Eden and of my return … a lot. So much so in fact that I started to research the topic on the net. Surely, there must be a few others out there who feel as I do. To my surprise, many not a few, have been thinking about the Garden of Eden; not within the context of an unattainable paradise, but rather of a paradise in which we all have a chance to return.

To some, Eden is any place where we find wonder and beauty. To others, Eden is a metaphor for people within whom we find love and acceptance. Still there are others who believe Eden is a lifestyle or a peaceful state of mind. Regardless of whether Eden is a place, a person, a lifestyle, or a state of mind, there is one thing that everyone seems to agree on… Eden is found in the feeling of home. A home we miss and long for yet a home we never left, and never left us.

Over the next series of occasional posts, I will be exploring the Garden of Eden… what and where it is; why we want to return there; ways in which we can recognize, cultivate, and connect with Eden again; and most of all how to live within and appreciate Eden’s abundance. For it is in our finding home within Eden that we know of our return to wholeness that lasts not for a day…but rather for all eternity.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Can Free Will and Pre-Ordained Destiny Coexist?

2010-08-26T13:19:00.000-04:00

Awhile back my partner and I were discussing the topic of free choice and whether it truly exists. Many of us have struggled to come up with a definitive opinion on the matter, with my partner and I being no exception. While he is of the mindset that God gave us a free will, I believe “everything happens for a reason.” This debate is amplified beyond the home front, with many faiths preaching from the pulpit the concept of preordained destiny. Simply stated, preordained destiny is a philosophy that believes a higher power has already defined a path for each of us and that every event in history was planned ahead of time. Given this scenario, how can free will possibly exist? After all, free will and preordained destiny are opposing ideologies, or are they? Is it possible for free will and preordained destiny to co-exist? Or is that we may think we have a choice, but in reality we really don’t. That every choice we ever make is actually based on a script a higher power created and we are actors playing out a specific role.

As much as I am a firm believer that “everything happens for a reason”, I find this idea unsettling. After all, I would like to think that I have some choice of how my life turns out. If free will is lacking and our life is scripted, then why be here at all? I am frequently told that my life is full of contradictions and that this topic is proof positive of that for as much as I enjoy using my free will, I also entertain fate. There are times when I actually find comfort in knowing people come into my life for a day, a year, or a lifetime for one or more reasons. I also find solace in knowing certain events are meant to happen to teach one or more lessons. I can cite numerous examples of people coming into my life at just the right moment. This is one point where my partner and I cannot disagree as he came into my life just at the precise moment when I really really needed him to help me sort out my life. What's more, there have also been a number of events in my life that seemed insignificant at the time, but discovered later that those events triggered other events culminating into something magnificent.

Understandably there are doubters among those who read this post. Even my partner will tell you that from time to time I place too much emphasis on trivial events; using mere thoughts to create something extraordinary from the ordinary. But is that really so bad? After all, it is with this mindset that I seek out my potential and my life purpose ... and in creative ways I might add. All I hope is that pre-destiny does not get in the way of all that I wish to accomplish.

Then one day God placed the answer right in front of me as my partner and I were making dinner. My partner started to talk about his day and how he read an interesting article on how video games were made. Over the years, they have become very complex and sophisticated; not only in terms of graphics, sounds, and animations, but also in terms of the endless choices the player can make during the course of the game. Not only that, even more choices were possible each time the game was played, resulting in a different experience each session. I thought to myself, that individual is absolutely brilliant! When I then asked how this was done, my partner said the creator of a very popular video game summed it up by saying his programmers give their fans an “illusion of free choice”… meaning… while a player may be given what appears to be an endless array of choices, the truth is all those choices were thought about ahead of time and based on each choice, a different path was laid out. Bingo. If a video game programmer can do that, imagine what a higher power is capable of? It was then that I realized that with preordained destiny we are given endless possibilities to exercise our free will.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Reaping Rewards

2010-07-30T00:05:00.004-04:00

This is the final post in the series illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a “Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you’re a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You’re a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:31
Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

What better way is there to end this series of posts and the book of Proverbs than with a reward? The book of Proverbs is truly about wisdom and the rewards that follow when you choose to take this narrow path. In the first chapter, we are first introduced to a Woman of Wisdom. With the exception of God, she is the most important (and compelling) character in this book. In addition to being wise, she is known for her purity, strength, honesty, boldness, generosity, and compassion. A woman after my own heart, she walks among the people in the public square, reaching out to whoever will listen and offering lessons in living a long, prosperous life – all the while holding onto her good reputation. It’s not until the last chapter of Proverbs, Chapter 31, that our heroine, the Woman of Wisdom is beautifully expressed in the form of a Hebrew acrostic. It is in this beautiful biblical poem that wisdom is personified as a woman to illustrate wisdom at work. In reaching her full potential, the Woman of Wisdom is praised, with her value far greater than rubies.

What is truly remarkable about this book is that not only was it written thousands of years ago, but realizing the role culture plays in it. Think about it. In today's world, no one would have trouble visualizing a Woman of Wisdom. In fact, why shouldn't Wisdom be a woman? It doesn’t matter whether Wisdom is a man or a woman. What's important is what he or she is saying. Right? But in the culture this book was written, this image was considered shocking to say the least. Back then many would ask…”Where is this woman's father or husband?” Or, “Where is the man who is responsible for her, to whom she has to answer? Why is she out in the streets trying to teach men, when she should be at home, minding her own business? And why should any man be at all interested in anything this woman has to say?”

While drawn in accordance with the customs of Eastern nations, the moral teachings of Proverbs 31 remain timeless. One of the greatest lessons we can learn about Wisdom is that she doesn’t always come to you in the way you expect. Within this lies a very fundamental truth. Wisdom will not always come from someone you like or respect, much less want to listen to. If you truly value Wisdom though, you will ignore her exterior, take a closer look, and most of all… listen to all that she is willing to share.

Will you recognize Wisdom when she presents herself to you? What if she comes to you as a small child? A homeless man? An acquaintance, a co-worker you can't stand, your boss, a handyman, a former love who betrayed you, or your spouse? Will you recognize Wisdom during a heated argument, at the height of passion, or in the middle of being bored out of your skull? If we really want Wisdom to come to us, we need to get to a place where we recognize God's voice no matter who He's speaking through.

So where does the Woman of Wisdom reside? Take a real close look. Her words and actions define her. Living among us, she walks down your street, and may even be found at the store or living with you at home. For the Woman of Wisdom is everywhere and right where you least expect to find her.

*****

Thank you for the opportunity to share these personal posts in such a public forum. In studying Proverbs 31 this past year, the rewards have been many, with the sheer abundance being truly humbling. In learning about the Woman of Wisdom along with her strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom, I’ve come to rely on my own inner strengths; have come to see an inner beauty within my own self that leaves me in awe; come to feel a confidence and grace that only dignity knows; and have come to know the difference between knowledge and wisdom. What’s more, in learning how to back up my words with actions, I’ve become the woman I am meant to be…a woman of strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom. The greatest reward this past year was presented to me during my study of the Woman of Wisdom. It was then this Proverbs 31 woman met her man of strength, beauty, dignity, and wisdom in a Proverbs 31 man named Justin. No words can ever adequately express my love or my appreciation for encouraging me to learn about the Woman of Wisdom for in her I discovered myself.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

True Beauty Lives Within

2010-07-20T22:05:00.001-04:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a “Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you’re a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You’re a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:30
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

In the first verse, "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain", the word "favor" refers to a woman's outward appearance and form while "beauty’s" vanity vanishes all too quickly – much like a vapor. External beauty is often deceitful as what you see is not always what you really get. On the surface, it may appear as though you are viewing a very beautiful, a very special person, but then all of a sudden the beauty fades as they open their mouth startling everyone with their expletives and negative comments.

Indeed, outer charm covers up a multitude of sins. Case in point… have you ever opened up a nut with a fine looking shell, only to discover that when you crack it open, the meat inside it is rotten and undesirable? The same holds true for beautiful actors, pop stars, and models. Upon a closer look you realize that they are known more for their broken marriages, substance abuse, and personal problems than they are for their beauty or talent. Beneath the external shell, there lives a very troubled individual who desperately needs God's transforming grace. Without God’s grace, external beauty and talent are fleeting with life eventually becoming meaningless and empty.

In spite of this, there’s a great emphasis on external beauty today. In fact, beautiful people are often more popular, recognized more frequently, and get better jobs. Makeup is used in abundance. All kinds of supplements and health products are offered with the promise of making people look younger and more attractive, only slowing down, but not preventing nature's natural deterioration. Surgical procedures are performed with alarming regularity to change, enhance, reduce, or “improve” a person's outward appearance. Companies offering diet programs and exercise programs report record earnings from people who want to look beautiful and feel good. One does not even have to leave the comfort of home to get hooked. How many times have you seen a TV show devoted to “extreme makeovers”? You know the ones that transform a plain or unattractive person into an outwardly attractive person with makeup, new clothes, hair styling, weight loss, exercise, surgery, and more. There’s no end to the creative ways in which mankind tries to beautify, preserve, and idolize the outer body. All without ever changing what is going on in the inside!

True beauty in the sight of God is not the product of cosmetics, but rather the shining forth of the indwelling Christ. When asked about the secret of her beautiful complexion, a woman once said, "I use truth for my lips; for my voice, prayer; for my eyes, pity; for my hands, charity; for my figure, uprightness; and for my heart, LOVE." The best part? You can receive a lifetime supply of these heavenly cosmetics for free when you invite God to live within your heart, mind, and spirit!

The second verse, "But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised", expresses that inner beauty can never be achieved without having a meaningful and intimate relationship with the Lord. When you do, His glory shines brilliantly outwardly in the form of words and deed for all to experience. Sad to say, many do not seem to realize this, sacrificing goodness and godliness in the pursuit of the latest trend or whatever makes them appear more beautiful. Yet the truth behind beauty resides in those who choose to pursue godliness rather than fashion for “beauty in the heart puts beauty on the face”.

It is our words and our deeds that draw inner beauty outward. They are expressed in many ways such as helping an elderly neighbor prepare meals or volunteering your time to your community. It is the LOVE that you demonstrate to others that radiates your inner beauty. HOPE is also an expression of inner beauty with the belief of a positive outcome regardless of the event and/or circumstance of one's life and the lives of others. COMPASSION towards another who is in pain or suffering is also a form of inner beauty, feeling it tug at your heart. While you try to ignore it, it never goes away. Deep down it’s always there.

But what about outer beauty? Can’t someone view a beautiful waterfall, a majestic mountain or the brilliant stars in heaven without inner beauty? I think not. It is only when you take a long, lingering look that you truly pay attention and appreciate its inherent beauty. A beauty that resides below the surface and beyond first impressions. While outer beauty is fleeting, inner beauty is strong and resilient. It leaves an indelible, lasting impression on one’s heart, mind, and spirit, transforming your life for the better. Knowing this… I am going to seek out inner beauty in everything and everyone placed in my life. How about you?

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

They are called blessed...

2010-07-15T22:41:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

These two verses express beautifully just how blessed both men and women are when they embrace the roles they are meant to hold; that of cherished spouse and loving parents. While these roles are often challenging, they are also the most rewarding. Much hard work goes into being a Proverbs 31 individual. It not only requires a verbal commitment to be and do good, but to serve as a daily role model to others in deed. As a reward for this commitment, their loved ones praise them in word and deed in return. Their children are grateful for their early training as it sets the tone for a lifetime; owing all that they achieve to their upbringing and to the parents who loved, guided, protected, and shaped them. Their spouse praises them too saying, "many have done excellently, but you surpass them all."

On a more personal note, I cannot tell you how truly blessed I feel when family and loved ones appreciate me as a friend, partner, parent, and more. This has not always been the case though. During my first marriage, my former husband would come home after work very tired. It was then that he would often be critical of the work I did professionally, how I maintained our home, and how I cared for our children. I cannot tell you how crushed I was because I was sincerely doing my very best to balance a full-time career with marriage and family life. While I received much praise from friends and neighbors, I was seeking, but rarely received praise from the man who meant everything to me … my husband and father of our children. While I did not realize it back then, I was trying so hard to embrace a Proverbs 31 way of life without a foundation; without a partner who valued and appreciated it. We eventually divorced, with my spending the last 15 years as a single parent of now two grown kids.

Then eighteen months ago, I met a wonderful man who changed my life forever. During the past year, he has been there for me as I experienced some of the most painful times of my life. He helped me through a former friend’s betrayal, as my business fell on hard times, as I became very sick with the flu, as my resources dried up, and as I was on the verge of losing my home. Every step of the way, he not only showed me through words, but also in deeds what unconditional love truly looks and feels like. It was then he re-introduced me to Proverbs 31. I say, “re-introduce” because like many of you out there, I had preconceived notions about Proverbs 31 along with its “following the lead and serving the needs of others” lifestyle. In fact, we shared numerous discussions about how a woman would not want to serve a man who did not love and cherish her; and that, if you read in between the lines every Proverbs 31 woman had a Proverbs 31 man who loved, cherished, encouraged, and protected her. Then one day he challenged me to study Proverbs 31 verse by verse to learn their true meaning. During the last few months, you - my readers - have been beneficiaries as this blog has been about sharing what I have learned. What is the biggest thing I learned? To my surprise... my life works much better when I follow the lead and serve the needs of others and when Proverbs 31 and a Proverbs 31 man are a part of it!

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Protecting Home Life and Loved Ones

2010-07-08T01:11:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household and
does not eat the bread of idleness.

She watches over the affairs of her household ... The Proverbs 31 individual supervises every detail of their home, taking care to watch over the household and to protect loved ones. This includes paying special care of what is going on in a child's life regardless of their age. While not easy by any stretch of the imagination, it is our job as parents to constantly "tune into" what our children do, where they go, who they keep company with, and yes... even monitor what they watch on television, the music they listen to, and the places they go online. While some parents may view such a watchful eye as spying, or worse yet...invasion of privacy.... our children, in fact, rely and thrive on love, guidance, and protection. Without love, children feel abandoned, become angry or bitter, and learn hatred. Without guidance, children lack direction, become confused, and get into trouble. Without protection, children wind up ill, injured, or worse. One does not have to go very far to find distractions; not all of them positive. Our world is full of them, all vying for our child's attention. There are countless examples out of Hollywood of what happens when a child is without love, guidance, or protection. Without love, Britney Spears' life spiraled out of control with attempted suicides and a nervous breakdown. Without guidance, Miley Cyrus posed semi-nude by 15, lap danced for middle-aged men by 16, and constantly exploits herself in scantily clad attire in front of the media's ever-gazing eye. And without protection, Lindsay Lohan's life at 24 is on out of control Once a poster child for Disney wholesomeness, she's had multiple stays in rehab for drug and alcohol addiction, has been cited for a number of car accidents, and was sentenced just today to 90 days in jail! Our children do not know enough about the ways of the world to have the forethought or insight to know whether they are placing themselves in harm's way. What's more, they rely on us to love, guide, and protect them the best we know how. As Jackie Kennedy once said, "If you can't be a good parent, nothing else matters." Good parenting requires us to take an active role in our child's life. What's more, it requires us to be "unpopular" at times so that we learn what is REALLY going on with our child. It is only then we can sufficiently guide, discipline, and restrict if need be so that they are channeled into positive and enriching activities.

And does not eat the bread of idleness... A Proverbs 31 individual is not one who looks and says, "What happened?"; rather, they are full of energy, well-occupied, and a real go-getter in terms of making things happen. They cram as much as they can into their busy lives whether it is keeping the household running smoothly; helping family members achieve their goals; working in a full-time job; fulfilling a voluntary role; or something else. With a life so full, there is no room for gossip or talk about so-and-so; there's no room to be discontent or envious of so-and-so for what they have; and there is no room for feeling sorry for one self because so-and-so gets all the breaks in life and you never do. The Proverbs 31 individual's life is so full with positive activities that they are genuinely happy for other people's successes. What's more, they know that if they haven't yet "come into their own", they realize it's just a matter of time and use their time wisely.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

From wisdom, kindness flows

2010-07-03T18:36:00.001-04:00

Proverbs 31:26
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Throughout Proverbs 31, it speaks of an individual who leads an examplary life for others to follow. They not only inspire and offer guidance to others with their words, but they also back up those words with actions that heal and clearly demonstrate the unconditional love they have for others.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom
When the Proverbs 31 individual speaks, they are mindful of what they say and the impact their words may have on others. Native Americans are very wise. They respect rather than fear silence. In fact, by remaining silent, they are aware of the abundant knowledge that can be gained from mindful listening. When they do speak. they choose their words carefully, taking special care to only speak positively and of what really matters to others in the present moment. Through mindful listening and well-chosen words, they can offer guidance that blends past experiences with the company they choose to keep. The same holds true with the Proverbs 31 individual. By spending time in silence with our Lord on a regular basis and reading His Word, the Proverbs 31 individual seeks, mindfully listens to, and has a chance to reflect on His wisdom. Once this wisdom instills into their heart, they can live life accordingly to His plan and ultimately become the person they are meant to be. What's more, from the wisdom gained, they have a wonderful opportunity to share faithful advise to those entrusted in their care ... spouse, children, relatives, co-workers, friends, and acquaintances... based on real world experiences.

and in her tongue is the law of kindness
When the Proverbs 31 individual speaks, they are not only mindful of what they say, but also of the manner in which they speak. As my mother used to say, "it is not only what you say, but also how you say it." The Proverbs 31 individual speaks kindly and tenderly towards everyone. Whether they are speaking with loved ones, or adversaries, they do so with love. Further, they back up their words with actions that clearly demonstrate to others patience, respect, mercy, and most of all... unconditional love.

A beautiful example of this is the wisdom that my partner demonstrated to me. Early on in our courtship, Justin spoke of the love he still had for his former wife. He explained to me how their life together was not all bad; that they in fact had two wonderful boys and shared many beautiful memories during their 20 years together. Only the final moments of their marriage were bad. I was totally amazed. Not only with the compassion with which he shared it, but that he demonstrated this regularly, writing to her even though she abandoned him and their boys in favor of a new life with someone else in Sweden. He also demonstrates this with the loving friendship he shares to this day with a past girlfriend. When she has a problem, he often lends a listening ear and offers emotional support. I have to tell you that I was very uncomfortable with this "arrangement" for a very long time. I would ask myself, "how is this possible? or "if that is the case, why isn't he still with them?" I eventually realized though the wisdom behind his words and his actions. So many of us... myself included... tend to focus so much on the negative surrounding one single event, that we often loose sight of the many positive events in our life. Then one day, I finally woke up and asked myself... "Isn't this how I would want him to treat me if we were to part ways?" It was then that it all made sense. He opened his mouth with wisdom, and from his tongue the law of kindness flowed.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Do Your Clothes Define You?

2010-06-23T02:31:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:25
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come

Living in the 21st century, we are often self-conscious about our image and our appearance. So much so that we allow our clothes to define who we are. If our clothes REALLY do define us, then perhaps we are all overdue for an extreme makeover. It starts by knowing what not to wear. Like the show on the TLC network, perhaps we should all throw out our existing clothing in favor of a finer wardrobe; one that our Creator provides to all believers... the clothing of STRENGTH, HONOR, and BEAUTY!

STRENGTH. We often think strength is found in a man or woman who always speaks their mind and never asks anyone for help. Or that strength is found in a man or woman who runs their household in fear that if left to their partner's care, everything would fall apart. Better yet, many believe strength is found in a corporate CEO who never had children in favor of their career. Rest assured physical, emotional, and mental strength all come in handy on many occasions. Real strength, however, is spiritual in nature. It can be worn in many different ways as faithfulness in prayer; holding steadfast to one's beliefs against the grain of the secular world; not giving into social pressure or secular standards; or standing up for what is right in the face of opposition. Spiritual strength is also worn by spending quality time "in the moment" with the ones you love. How many times have you heard a friend or co-worker complain that their partner spends so much time at work trying to provide for them that they have little to no time to spend with the family? Even though their loved one works long hours to provide for them, they say they would rather have more alone time with them. God actually feels the same way about you. While the work you may be doing is for Him, He would much rather have you spend more quality time with Him reflecting on the moment so He can clothe you in all the virtues you need to be the person He designed you to be. When we wear clothing our Creator provides; ones that flatter our physical, mental, emotional, AND spiritual well being, everything in our life falls naturally into place. Or, at the very least, we are well dressed to handle our life when it doesn’t.

DIGNITY. As ambassadors of the Gospel, we wear clothing that advertises how we feel about God and our faith. Scrutinized by others for all that we do, we are asked to dress and behave with dignity and honor at all times. If for some reason our manners, dress, or speech are undignified, then it is God who is insulted. We are not meant to live life entirely for our own selves. rather, we are meant to live our life for Him. More importantly, we are asked to be aware of our behavior and wear openness, honesty, reliability, integrity, and trustworthiness in our relationships with others.

BEAUTY. The attire befitting our beauty is not the shallow variety driving much of our society today. Nor is it about spending huge amounts of time and money on cosmetic products to enhance the skin and designer clothing to accentuate the figure. In fact, having wrinkle-free skin and wearing fashionable clothes does not guarantee inner beauty of an individual! True beauty begins in the heart, and is a “gentle and quiet spirit”. As St. Peter so aptly phrased it:
“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel ~ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Finally, the wardrobe the Proverb 31 individual wears is not available at your nearby marketplace or shopping mall. Rather, the wardrobe the Proverb 31 individual wears are garments of strength, dignity, and beauty the Lord provides the believing heart who is looking to Him.

When looking to Him wearing your finest attire, walk beside Him radiating strength. Speak to others in a voice of quiet confidence to communicate dignity. Most of all... rejoice in your future. It is bright, beautiful, eternal, and secure as your industry and planning have provided you with the finest. Then savor your past with a smile!

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Work and Have a Home Life Too!

2010-06-11T02:26:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:24
She makes fine linen garments,
sells them, and
supplies the merchants with sashes

As I mentioned in my last post, I had preconceived notions about Proverbs 31; specifically, that the verses were most likely written by male chauvinists whose fondest wishes were to confine women. As I learned more about Proverbs 31 and about myself, I was pleasantly surprised to experience first hand the true wisdom residing in these words. I was even more surprised to discover that these words were misrepresented by many over time - especially by clergy - by unenlightened theology. Rather than holding individuals back, these words actually empower both men and woman to take on greater responsibility within the world; many of which can be tackled from home!

Take for instance, Proverbs 31:24. In the first line, the Proverbs 31 individual is industrious, "making fine linen garments" from home. Doing their best to serve the LORD, s/he not only creates textiles from the finest wool and flax, but s/he also creates fine garments from them for their family to wear. Then in the second line, the resulting merchandise is so much in demand due to the quality of workmanship that s/he "sells them", leading others to purchase and wear them. The third line and final line has the Proverbs 31 individual "supplying merchants with sashes" from home rather than from outside the home, freeing them to build and maintain a warm, nurturing home for their loved ones! Independent by nature, I have to tell you that this arrangement sounds far more peaceful than the hectic pace many of us are experiencing nowadays. What's more, the income generated from a home-based business can be put towards not only improving the home, but quality of life too.

Like many of you, I realize the economy is in a shamble with many out of work or underemployed. Now more than ever, the need to work outside the home is a necessity, not a luxury. If like me, this is your reality, then pray and ask our Creator to show you how to use your talents to generate as much income as you are currently making outside the home -- or more -- at home. While not easy by any stretch of the imagination, anything is possible with the help of our Creator. All you have to do is ask. In fact, some of the most successful businesses started from home and from a hobby or activity that an individual was good at and really enjoyed, but never realized was marketable. For example, I know of a man who sells custom-scented candles on the Internet. I also know of a very creative lady who designs and repackages fine chocolates for business events and special occasions. There are countless others who give clarinet lessons; grow organic vegetables; tutor high school students in English or Math; sell homemade cupcakes; make quilts; or perform custom sewing and alterations -- all from home.

On a more personal level... when my sister married her long-time love a few years back, her flowers were arranged and her cake was made by women who worked from home. As for me... I have a home-based business promoting the community where I live along with areal businesses by developing a full array of marketing materials; everything from flyers, ads, and brochures to newsletters, booklets, and websites. Regardless of your talent or passion in life, IT IS possible to create a marketable product or service from a hobby or talent. Once developed with your signature touch, that product or service can then be performed from home, sold from home, and delivered to others for purchase or to "merchants" for resale ... from home ... just as the Proverbs 31 woman did. The goal is not to leave home to work elsewhere, but rather live life as a Proverbs 31 individual would ... allowing work to come to you at home so as to create a much more peaceful, more balanced lifestyle.

Most of all... regardless of what you pursue... be sure to touch base with our LORD regularly about your plans. He knows better than we do about what is best for us. Also, be sure to take time to study Proverbs 31. These verses are filled with so many hidden treasures on how to live a richer, more fulfilling life with your loved ones. Finally... when you need to find a way to bring more money home, remember to ask yourself, "Is this challenge requiring me to supply the merchants, or to be a merchant?"

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Submission... the ultimate in freedom

2010-05-24T01:41:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:23
“Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders..”

This verse is particularly interesting. At long last and seemingly out of nowhere, the 13th verse finally references the Proverbs 31 man. Yet only after 12 vivid descriptions and just before 8 more about the Proverbs 31 woman. While such placement would seem odd at first, it makes perfect sense upon closer reflection. For when we believe in and act upon the Proverbs 31 passage in faith, we are actually using our work, our time, along with our talents, resources, and words to raise others up. As we continue to do good for others, we soon discover we gladly do so out of love for our loved ones and for our Creator too. This verse is the essence of submission.

Oh how I hear all the loud voices as I write this. "What submission?" "In this day and age?" "Not me, not ever."In fact, just the sheer thought of submission has a way of sending a collective shiver up and down the spines of many. For in an age marked by feminism and personal freedom, many women would at least laugh at the word as though I were telling some kind of joke. Then there are those who find themselves on the other end of the spectrum; those who would not dare do anything without first consulting their husband for approval. Paralyzed by fear, they wouldn't dare do anything remotely considered unsubmissive. Admittedly, my partner would tell you I was once amongst the former crowd, laughing at the sheer prospect of submitting to anyone and totally embracing the mantra, "No one is the boss of me." That is until recently.

I now truly believe that submission falls somewhere in between the two extremes. Submission is not oppressive. What's more, submission is not about losing one's voice or one's personal freedom. Rather, at the heart of submission is an attitude of service to others. A self-less, disciplined act of total surrender, submission is not done out of fear, but rather out of unconditional love towards others. No longer focused on one's own needs and wants, submission is an act of unconditional love, making everything and everyone around better as a result of our presence. It is in this goodness, in serving the lead and needs of others before our own that we have an opportunity to touch and heal the lives of many, inspiring others with our words and creating an atmosphere where others have the freedom to do their very best. It is in glorifying others, in glorifying our Creator, that the same glory returns to us a thousand fold and in the most beautifully unexpected ways. In loving and surrendering totally to the need and lead of others, in focusing on others before our selves, true submission is not at all confining; rather, it is the ultimate in freedom.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Dressing Our Home and Our Selves in God's Blessings

2010-05-16T21:07:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 31:22
“She makes herself coverings of tapestries;
her clothing is silk and purple.”

The virtuous individual is diligent, enterprising, selfless, and practical; not only in serving the needs of family, but also in nurturing themselves and their appearance. Why? To ignore or neglect family and appearance, to look impoverished, shabby, or threadbare are not marks of spirituality. Rather, a modest level of material prosperity is in fact a sign that God's blessings have been bestowed upon His sons and daughters. Therefore, the appearance of our home, however modest, as well as our own appearance self are reflections of all those we honor and cherish: God, our spouse, and our loved ones. It is for this reason the virtuous individual strives to include both in their daily routine.

So how do we maintain a lovely home along with our appearance with limited resources? A virtuous individual maintains and prioritizes goals as well as uses their time wisely so as to serve their family while being mindful of their own appearance. A creative individual, they create a warm, inviting home for their loved ones using elegant decorating ideas. They cover walls, furniture, and beds with hand embroidered items, colorful paints, exquisite stencils, well-made fabrics, hand-woven tapestries, and more to ensure every room, including the bedroom, is a sacred, inviting sanctuary worthy of the loved ones they cherish.

Further, the virtuous individual spends their resources wisely, choosing only the finest fabrics such as cotton, linen, or silk and selecting only the most glorious colors to match their regal and godly character. Dressing well speaks a great deal about one's true character and dignity for the outward garments that are worn is a portrait of the beauty and splendor found within. Most of all... and this is something that is often ignored... the virtuous individual develops, rather than stifles, their sensuality to sustain a healthy self-image, a vibrant marriage, and a loving family life. For the sheer presence of a virtuous man or woman is not only pleasing to the eye and to all the senses, but also enriches the lives of many with their beautifully vibrant soul. It all starts with creating a warm, inviting place and in nurturing ourselves so we can love and care for others.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Dressing Loved Ones in Scarlet

2010-05-04T01:02:00.000-04:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:21
"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."

This is such a simple yet beautiful verse depicting how the virtuous individual provides for their loved ones - both physically and spiritually - by anticipating their needs ahead of time. By planning ahead with purpose and a firm goal in mind, the virtuous individual is prepared to protect the well-being of their loved ones from cold weather, financial hardships, or any other difficulties that may arise. It is for this reason that they do not fear for their household.

Further, regardless of season or circumstance, the virtuous individual does not fear, honor, or give reverence to any challenge. All are viewed as insignificant in light of their preparedness. In this particular verse, the virtuous individual plans for the physical warmth and comfort of their loved ones by dressing them in warm clothing of "scarlet." While the color scarlet of itself is not inherently warm, its use in this verse has significant meaning. In biblical times, scarlet clothing was often made of wool, thereby preserving warmth. What's more, the clothing's color provided desired ornamentation as the scarlet color was considered royal or dignified.

The "Scarlet" color was "derived from a cochineal-like insect known as a Tola. When crushed, the Tola produced a fine deep red, or rich crimson dye, much admired by royalty and Asians alike. Upon closer examination, I learned our Lord often compared himself to this cochineal-like insect or'worm'. For example, in Psalm 22:6, He shared, "Yet, I am a worm and not a man. I am scorned by humanity and despised by people." It is then that "clothed with scarlet" takes on its spiritual meaning. While Moses may have referred to scarlet wool as providing much physical warmth within the Old Testament, the New Testament refers to the "scarlet clothing" of blood Jesus shed on our behalf to forgive and protect us from our sins.

Thus, regardless of challenge, be it physical or spiritual in nature, the virtuous individual is well-prepared to protect the well-being of their family. That through their faith and prayers, they do not fear for their household. Dressed in the scarlet blood of Jesus, they are confident in their abilities to keep their loved ones safe, warm, AND loved. A colorful - and formidable - choice of clothing for all of us to wear indeed when presenting ourselves to the world, don't you think?

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Reaching Out with a Loving Hand and Compassionate Heart

2010-04-21T01:40:00.000-04:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:20

She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

This verse is a wonderful example of parallelism. Often found in Hebrew poetry, parallelism refers to the presentation of two similar ideas; in this case, the second phrase basically saying the same thing as the first, with only minor variations: help the poor and needy. With "poor” and “needy” both meaning "afflicted or humbled, the terms often describe those who are physically and/or materially poor. Yet, the terms may also refer to believers who recognize their spiritual poverty. That is to say, they realize their spiritual growth is dependent on acknowledging their desperate need for that which only the Lord can supply. When He supplies us with whatever we lack, we are rich indeed.

During the days of His humiliation, our blessed Lord was also referred to as "poor": "For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich" (2 Cor. 8:9). It is for this reason, God asks us to reach out and help the poor and needy in the same way He has helped us. When we do, we honor Him in the same way He honors us.

With this in mind, the virtuous individual demonstrates compassion with concrete deeds toward the poor and needy. S/he loves the poor, not in word or in tongue only, but also in deed and in truth. But what really strikes me about this verse are the words, “she stretches out her hands to the needy." These words immediately conjure up an image of a mother reaching out to her children in time of need. it in fact reminds me of when my children were young. When either of them cried after being hurt or disappointed, my hand would automatically reach out to them without thinking.

Along with an image of a mother "stretching out her hands to the needy”, I also envision a virtuous individual who wants to do more than just give of her time, resources, or money. With a mother's natural instinct, the Proverbs 31 individual wants to show true compassion, nurturing all those who are in need. When they do, they realize help comes in many forms; not just monetarily. In fact, s/he realizes that there are times when the right thing to do is to NOT give any money. For example, in the case of a man who deceptively begs for money for groceries, only to spend it on alcohol. Or, in the case of a woman who routinely goes around church to church looking for free meals and financial gifts. Supporting this kind of behavior does not teach long-term personal responsibility.

Using wisdom and discernment, the Proverbs 31 often nurtures using creative, and often alternative, means. While s/he realizes giving of resources is a valuable and much-needed thing to do, s/he is also mindful to give of their heart too. For example, if a person is truly hungry, and s/he believes it is proper to help, the Proverbs 31 individual invites him or her into their home. They sit with them; share a meal with them; include them in as part of your family; and most of all… ask them to stay long enough for some words of encouragement, whether from the Bible or another inspirational work. The end result? The Proverbs 31 individual not only fed their tummy, but their heart too.

Hebrews 13:2

Let us be mindful to be as charitable with our hearts as we are with our resources. And remember… "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

In closing, when extending a helping hand to others, ask God for guidance; specifically, wisdom and discernment in how best to meet the needs of those with whom He has placed in your life.

Luke 12:48

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Doing Work with Great Love

2010-04-05T00:13:00.000-04:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:19
She layeth her hands to the spindle,
and her hands hold the distaff

The Proverbs 31 individual’s hands are rarely, if ever, idle. They use their time and hands wisely, faithfully, and skillfully to provide clothing, bed linens, and other necessities for family and others. In particular, this verse describes an ancient method of spinning fiber into thread. Prior to the advent of a spinning wheel, a spinster used a distaff (a staff) to hold flax, wool, or other fibers while a spindle spun fiber in a circular twisting and turning motion into thread.

An arduous undertaking, an individual who held a distaff and spindled fiber at the same time possessed great physical, spiritual, and mental strength. Further, they possessed much patience and endurance as it took much time to complete. An individual demonstrating these characteristics was considered a great blessing to all those in their life.

The New Testament describes such a woman. Her name was Tabitha - Aramaic for gazelle. Much like a gazelle, Tabitha was beautiful, nimble, and well known for her skilled artistry. Many smiled and felt relief in her presence; it was as though a heavy burden lifted. She was well loved, respected, and surrounded by those who clearly saw and felt the work and character of Christ within her.

In modern times, qualities such as strength, patience, and endurance as well as skills such as sewing, knitting, and quilting have become lost in favor of instant gratification and disposable wares. Yet there is so much value in creating something with your own hands; not just sentimental value, but financial value too as it costs far less to make your own clothing and quilts, for example, than to purchase them. What’s more, children can learn so much from watching their mother and father work, allowing many qualities and skills to pass onto future generations.

Whether at home or away, truly following the lead and needs of others does not occur overnight; nor does such service diminish over time. Rather, it takes time, commitment, and effort to develop the patience, strength, and endurance to serve God and others. When performed with great love, the effort of one’s service grows more beautiful as time passes. An effort that requires investment in our self and in the relationships we have with others and with God.

It starts by asking God to bless our hands, making them skillful and successful for Him. With His blessings, we are then capable of doing amazing things with our hands. Next, believing in His Word gives us the strength, patience, and endurance to commit to following the lead and needs of others. “Servant leadership” - and its many forms - is a beautiful tapestry created with threads of strength, patience, and endurance woven with God’s Word, unconditional love, and acceptance. Laying His hands wisely and faithfully onto a spindle while skillfully holding a distaff, it is with God’s refinement that we become a most treasured masterpiece. What's more, in being created in His image, we have been given hands in which to create the most beautiful masterpieces of our own. The blessedness of our hands and of our work comes from creating something with much love, just as our Heavenly Father did when He used His Hands in creating us.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my community, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.
~ Theresa

Working Hard is Profitable

2010-02-18T01:17:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas – personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:18
She sees that her trading is profitable;
her lamp does not go out at night.

She sees that her trading is profitable

The Proverbs 31 individual is confident and assured, viewing their work as being with and for God. With their whole life - personality, time, talent, influence, material substance, everything - dedicated to God, their confidence and self-assurance do not come from what they are capable of doing, but rather from recognizing their work as inherently good. For this reason, they carefully monitor all their work, ensuring their motivation is pure rather than out of selfishness.

Financially, the Proverbs 31 individual strives to live their life on a balanced budget. Being mindful not to spend beyond their means, they purchase quality items for their business and for their family without causing undue hardship. While they may experience setbacks along the way, they are not discouraged. During the lean times they make do with what they have or go without. With a little creativity, they’ve learned to create things with little or no value into something useful and of great value. Much like sea merchants who take many risks in pursuit of godly pearls, the Proverbs 31 individual is determined to forge ahead even in turbulent times as they know the ultimate reward is of great value and well worth the trouble.

Realizing this life choice requires perseverance and a great deal of hard work, the Proverbs 31 individual takes time to reflect on and feels a sense of pride in their many accomplishments. This sense of pride is not out of arrogance; rather, deep down they know they are good and it is this pride that encourages them to continue working hard. They are also very mindful to keep their egos in check as it is so easy to go astray. They do so by reminding themselves often that it is only through God's good grace that they've been able to accomplish so much with their life and are most appreciative of the gift He has provided.

As a result of this appreciation and from having performed good works for and through the Lord, the Proverbs 31 individual is at a great advantage when compared with their peers. They grow abundantly richer as their good work is garnered with much Wisdom - far more precious than fine gold or silver.

Her lamp does not go out at night

The lamp of the Proverbs 31 individual is always burning. Working diligently, they rise early in the morning and stay up until very late at night, never weary of doing good work. While at times, their spiritual prosperity may dampen, they are able to withstand even the darkest of times without ever extinguishing as they are rooted and grounded in God’s Word and Unconditional Love.

The light illuminating the Proverbs 31 individual’s lamp is Jesus as He is the light of the world. The oil fueling that lamp is the power of the Holy Spirit. Through the power of the Holy Spirit the Proverbs 31 individual becomes the instrument through which Jesus’ light shines ever so brightly for all to see.

Dressing in Strength

2010-01-27T01:31:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31: 17
She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

While one of the shorter verses, this one is incredibly beautiful. So much so, I share its richness with you in the form of a Trinity – in three parts.

She dresses herself. In a very literal sense, a Proverbs 31 individual is self-directing and does not need or expect anyone to lay out their clothes; dictate their mode of dress; provide a weather forecast ahead of time; or explain what is or is not appropriate for each day's activities. In fact, the Proverbs 31 individual is well-prepared for anything, both literally and figuratively, as they are dressed in a strength not intended for the weak of will or the weak in intellect and are ready to walk with someone greater than their own self. Further, counter to conventional wisdom, they are dressed in an attire often associated with a mustang – strong, mystical, wildly passionate; the essence of freedom that can’t stand still. For it is this very strength of will and fierce independence that has provided them with the endurance they have needed to withstand life’s greatest challenges. It is for these reasons they do not require, or expect others to make life easy for them. With a calling from God, they are equipped to live according to His Word. From hardships, they are now dressed in much humility and with an open, malleable heart; transformed into a beautiful image that is in His likeness - pure of heart, with a compassionate spirit garnered with self-control and wisdom. Regardless of weather, this wisdom allows them to cherish rather than fear the narrow path they have chosen. Intelligent and ready to place full trust in Him, they are very capable of discerning whether the outlook is bright and sunny; dark and gloomy; or thundering with fierce winds blowing their way. And yes... while much of the secular world does not fully understand or appreciate the rewards associated with this less travelled path, they willingly follow the lead and needs of others in spite of their fierce independence as rewards have been many. Unconditional love and acceptance has brought much peace, security, and freedom to a life once wild and out of control. From this contentment, the mustang heart of the Proverbs 31 individual has been tamed, awakened with new confidence, and still growing in so many beautiful ways with a new-found purpose of reaching and touching the lives of many in the same way they have been touched. Dressed in self-control, discipline, and wisdom, they are rich in the fruit of the Holy Spirit - an "adornment" suitably worn for every occasion and every activity.

She dresses herself with strength. Strength comes in many forms, and is suitably worn for every occasion and every activity. Strength comes from understanding and living the Word of God; from wearing God’s armor to withstand temptation; and from wearing joy and abundance in having God living within their heart. Strength also comes from wearing the peace of Christ, freeing them from trouble and fear; from wearing the kind of humility that places the needs of others before themselves; and in wearing a contrite spirit from offering forgiveness. It also comes dressed as an attitude that comforts others in the same way they were once comforted. Wearing the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, the Proverb 31 individual is pure, peaceful, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, impartial, and sincere. They are indeed dressed in a strength described in Corinthians 2:6, as “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.”

She makes her arms strong. Having experienced incredible love and acceptance, the Proverbs 31 individual now takes excellent care of others, placing the needs of others ahead of their own. Tender and wise, they offer guidance and counsel to others, directing them in the Way they should go. Loving them enough to discipline when necessary, they do so without anger or frustration and always demonstrate their great love and self-control. In addition to tending to the needs of others, the Proverbs 31 individual also carries the burdens of others, garnering the required strength from faith, prayer, and good works. Most of all, they demonstrate their love for our Creator through the outpouring of love they have for their community. Striving to not contain themselves within a "bubble", they effectively and intimately use their words and deeds to share God’s Word and Unconditional love to a lost and depraved world - for to separate the two, all efforts would be in vane.

So whatever you do to manifest your life's purpose, be sure to put on your Sunday best, comb your hair, wash your face, and get ready for each new day that awaits you. And remember ... when you do.... don't bother putting on your shoes. Rather, walk barefoot among the people and work diligently with your hands all the while fully dressed in your "royal attire"!

Managing Family Resources

2010-01-05T01:05:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:16 “She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.”
From a modern day perspective, this scene illustrates a remarkable picture of an individual who has a great deal of freedom in terms of decision-making. Trusted implicitly by his or her spouse, s/he is given much independence in managing a wide range of affairs, including the purchase of land. This is contrary to conventional wisdom as much freedom may actually be had in submitting to the lead and needs of others.

Case in point... as in the first line of this verse, the Proverbs 31 individual "considers a field and buys it." Regardless of gender or era, the purchase of anything...including real estate ... requires careful consideration. In addition to location, s/he considers the advantages the land provides and how the land is to be used prior to purchase. Not irresponsible in anyway with family resources, the Proverbs 31 individual is not an impulse buyer. Rather, prior to purchase, s/he carefully considers whether the land is worth the money and whether the family can afford to take so much money out of savings for the purchase. Prudent, s/he does not rush to purchase the land; checks whether the title is good; determines whether the ground is fruitful; and ensures s/he has sufficient money to pay for the land without incurring debts. This is counter to many today, who get into trouble by making purchases without careful consideration. Such frivolous actions not only use up limited resources, but may ultimately plunge the family into insurmountable debt. How many times have we purchased way more than we need, or purchase items that are not needed to efficiently manage a household? The Proverbs 31 individual is well aware of their family's limited resources and takes much care in respecting and maximizing the use of those resources. It is this thoughtful planning of resources that not only speaks volumes about our character, but about how well we follow the lead and needs of our loved ones. When we maximize our family's limited resources, we say to our loved ones that we truly love them because we seriously thought about their needs and considered their future good.

With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard
Once purchased, the Proverbs 31 individual maximizes use of the land by "planting a vineyard" using "the fruit of her hands". By lovingly planting the seed into fertile ground, the Proverbs 31 individual lays the groundwork for producing a great harvest for years to come. Further, s/he does so not by borrowing money or running into debt, but by working hard; using what s/he can spare from household savings; shopping smart; and keeping a watchful eye on bargains. Again, we can learn a great deal from this verse. Like many things in life, we have a choice. We can either give into our selfish desires and spend money needlessly on our self, or plan for the future good of our loved ones. With common sense and wise use of family resources, we are all capable of harvesting much fruit for the benefit of our loved ones for years to come. With the Proverbs 31 individual as the heart of the family, s/he is someone loved ones can look to and rely on as s/he relies on God for strength, dignity, and common sense to carry out the immense task of managing the family's limited resources.

Remember ... touch a life today "The Little Way" by following the lead and need of others. Also, if you ever thought to yourself, "I wish my customers, knew...", then be sure to visit White Light Communications at http://www.tothewhitelight.com.

~ Theresa

Using Hospitality to Minister to Others

2009-12-17T00:46:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:15

She riseth also while it is yet night, giving food to her household
and giveth a portion to her maidens.

She riseth also while it is yet night

Rising before the sun not only demonstrates that idleness and laziness have no place in our life, but doing so offer many benefits. For one ... the day begins peacefully. Free from noise and distractions, the day may start in quiet meditation. This not only ensures a great start to the day, but also says to our Lord that we want Him to be a part of it from the time we awake until we rest our head again.

For another...rising early ensures a productive start to the day. Have you ever slept in late then by the time you really get going it seems that half the day is gone and you have accomplished very little? As partners, parents, children, co-workers, students, teachers, friends, and more, we have quite a lot on our plate. Our days are full, and we often feel exhausted from the time we awake. So the temptation is there to stay in bed "just a little longer". How many times though have we slept through the quiet morning hours, only to find ourselves still exhausted and now falling even further behind in our day's duties? Many of us know what it feels like to be tired and worn down all too well. However, the attitude of "staying in bed for just a little longer" also has a way of permeating into other areas too. Before you know it, you find yourself going about your day in slow motion. If you find yourself struggling to rise early, ask God to give you the strength, health, and energy you need to jump start your day. Also, add something special to your morning routine to re-energize you. Perhaps it is spending a few minutes reading something inspirational, listening and dancing to your favorite music, or drinking a cup of hot tea and sitting in quiet prayer. Or, maybe it's a matter of stepping outside for a breath of the fresh morning air, or sitting and reflecting on the day's blessings. Different things work for different people. So ask yourself: What motivates me? What brings contentment to my heart so I am ready to face the day? What will I be doing with my loved ones today that will bring joy? All give us a reason to get up and make the most of our day.

Giving food to her household

Another reason for rising early is to provide your loved ones with a hearty,home-cooked breakfast! Nutritionists consider breakfast the most important meal of the day, nourishing the body that has not had any food for many hours and providing energy for the toil of the day. The virtuous individual ensures their loved ones get off to a good nutritional start. It is often said that you can tell a lot about a family by what they are eating for breakfast. Is your family sitting down and spending time together sharing a warm meal? Or, are you starting the day off by grabbing whatever you can find to eat as you rush out the door without saying as much as a goodbye and "I love you" to loved ones?

How many families do you know take time to sit down and share a meal together around the table? Often families don't eat together, don't pray together, don't read or spend quality time together. It's no wonder many don't stay together. Sitting down together as a family in the morning really sets the tone for the whole day. Just having that extra time together makes the whole day better. What's more, spending time with family before leaving for work gives your loved ones the encouragement they need to face the day. Knowing that someone special is thinking of, praying for, and looking forward to their return at the end of the day gives them a reason to rush home and spend even more quality time together.

And giving a portion to her maidens

Here, we are reminded of the Old Testament economy; namely, that the Israelites who honored and feared the Lord were promised both spiritual blessings and material blessings. It is clear then that the Proverbs 31 individual had both and did not live in poverty. In fact, the virtuous individual was blessed with a large household, which included servants. While one may think a virtuous individual was quite capable of commanding their servants to rise early and prepare breakfast for their family, they did not do that. Rather, we are told they gave a portion of food to their servants. This not only speaks volumes about the kindness shown towards those working under them, but it is also demonstrated that they demanded of others only what they themselves were willing to do. This is something staff even today greatly respect and appreciate; namely, a superior who is willing to "get their hands dirty" and do some of the very tasks they require their staff to do.

Summary

A virtuous individual takes care of their loved ones whether they are at home or away. What's more, they use their hospitality to minister to all those around them, creating a warm, inviting atmosphere that expresses "I love you" in very real ways to family as well as to all those who are welcomed guests not only in their homes, but in their hearts too!!!

Nurturing Family

2009-12-09T00:50:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:14

She is like the merchants' ships; she brings food from afar

Introduction
In the prior verse, the Proverb3 31 individual provided clothing for their family and for their business. In this verse, s/he provides food for his or her family. With the virtuous individual an instrument of God’s provisioning, s/he plays a key role in providing both food and clothing for hir or her family to ensure contentment (1 Tim. 6:8).

Merchant Ships
In the first line of this verse, the Scriptures compare the virtuous individual to merchant ships carrying items from faraway countries. With merchants being traders who buy or sell commodities for profit, the virtuous individual takes some of the wondrous garments or clothes made from wool and flax (Verse13) and trades them for food items from distant lands for family to enjoy. This is in sharp contrast to today, where money is spent grocery shopping in town.

Merchant Ship Qualities
What’s particularly interesting about merchant ships is that they are not the fastest means of transporting goods from one area to another. Yet they are the most cost-effective and efficient means; especially for perishable goods such as food. This is in sharp contrast to today’s world where everyone wants everything NOW! We have instant coffee, drive-thru windows, microwave ovens, and easy meals prepared at the grocery store ready for purchase, reheat, and enjoyment! There’s a price to be paid for this convenience. Higher grocery prices.

While jet airplanes transport foods faster, merchant ships are still the preferred method as they can carry a greater load; use less energy and resources; are more cost-effective; and far more efficient. What’s more, the load that a merchant ship typically carries in one trip takes an airplane multiple trips.

Meal Preparation
One of the things many of us struggle with on a daily basis is the preparation of nutritious meals for our family. There are many days we can’t seem to get it together. Whether the reason is fatigue, work-related stress, or just plain laziness, we figure, "It won't hurt just this once to go out and get something to eat," or "Well, I'll get just a couple of frozen meals, just in case I get in a pinch." The trouble is that this not only gets very expensive, but a consistent diet of prepared foods is unhealthy. Many prepared dinners are very high in sodium (salt) and a steady diet of prepared food items causes deficiencies in key vitamins and minerals due to a severe lack of fruits and vegetables. While we often give excuses, there is a solution: planning ahead.

Menu Planning
While it has been awhile (my kids are now grown), there was a time when I prepared a healthy menu for my family on a weekly basis and kept staple items in my refrigerator, freezer, and pantry so I was always prepared to make something. Every weekend I would take out my favorite cookbooks, along with the family calendar, and plan the menu for the coming week. Depending on what we had planned during the week, I would determine whether I had time to make a full meal (such as meat, potatoes, and vegetable), prepare a quick meal (such as a casserole), or prepare something the night before. What's more, I noted special dinner nights, featuring the favorite of one of my kids. For example, "Sarah Dinner Night" might be homemade macaroni and cheese with ham while "Michael Dinner Night" might be Teriyaki chicken. In addition, I considered leftover meals for nights when we had a scout meeting or a concert to attend. Once the meals were planned for the week, I would then put together a grocery list of required items and only purchased what was on the list.

Keep in mind this did not mean we never ate out or never ate prepared frozen meals. It just meant we planned for it, didn’t have a steady diet of it, and did not use it as an excuse for not cooking for my family on a regular basis.

Summary
While I have been divorced now for a number of years, I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful man. While I do not know what the future holds for us, I want him to know that when we are together, I wish to be like the merchant ships. During the coming year, I want to revitalize what I did for my children when they were growing up. This time for my life partner. I wish to take my time; plan healthy meals; purchase delicious, cost-effective groceries; as well as minimize waste and spoilage. Why do all of this, you ask?

I’ve been given a second chance at love and don't want my life partner to take a back seat to whatever else I wish to accomplish with my day. I want him to know I am choosing a life that demonstrates to him just how much I love and want what is best for him rather than choosing a life of convenience. What's more, it’s my way of showing him just how much I honor, appreciate, and value the hard work he does to provide for us.

Balancing Work & Home

2009-12-07T18:37:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:13

She seeketh wool and flax and worketh willingly with her hands

In addition to caring for their home, life partner, and family, the Proverbs 31 individual is also a successful entrepreneur. In fact, s/he serves as an inspiration to other individuals as s/he is living a life that many only hope to one day… s/he is living his or her life purpose. S/he takes a huge risk in starting a home-based business designing and manufacturing clothing. Over time though s/he proves to be so successful that she eventually purchases real estate and builds a factory on it!

As the first line of Proverbs 31:13 indicates, “She seeketh wool and flax” as two basic materials for making clothes and garments for her household and for her business. Wool, as you know, is the curly undercoat of a sheep, which is woven into a warm garment or fabric. For example, today we wear wool sweaters or mittens to protect us from the cold. Flax is a fibrous plant. When its fiber is pulled and twisted into yarn or thread during the spinning process, the result is a fine linen from which a variety of garments and materials, such as coarse canvas, rugged sails for ships, as well as thin, delicate scarves, may be produced.

As the second line of Proverbs 31:13 indicates, “and worketh willingly with her hands.” I have to admit I found myself focused on the word, “willingly.” Nowadays, that word often has a negative connotation, being synonymous with"unenthusiastic consent." For example, “oh ok, I will wash the dishes if I REALLY have to.” Yet work does not need to be viewed as boring or tedious. We in fact have a choice as to how we choose to view our work.The Proverbs 31 individual not only chooses to be cheerful and ready to work, but also derives much pleasure in working with her hands. As a result, her work is a source of great satisfaction. How refreshing this is!

For me, this verse is particularly meaningful as it also reminds me of how we have lost the fine art of working with our hands over time be it for calligraphy, sewing, stained glass painting, woodworking, or something else. Thanks to the computer age, we no longer seek or find pleasure in receiving homemade items or in creating things with our own hands. For example, rather than finding pleasure in making our own clothes, we now find delight in shopping for clothes at the local mall, often adversely affecting the family budget. Rather than sharing our gifts and talents with other family members, parents are connected to their computers, while children are often glued to a television show or to the latest video game - all without sharing quality time or meaningful conversation. What is most unfortunate though is that many talents are never developed or passed on. Mothers never learn how to cook, sew, knit, or crochet much less pass on those skills to their children. The same holds true for fathers who never learn how to fix things around the house, woodwork, work on cars, or manage family finances. As a result, these skills are never passed on from one generation to the next. An entire generation living without ever knowing or experiencing the true pleasure in working with their hands ... even when the desire may be there!

And there is great pleasure derived ... not only in working with one's hands, but also in sharing the experience with others. I remember as a child watching my mother spend hours in the kitchen baking French pastries, or in the Master bedroom at her sewing machine making a costume for a play or a new outfit for an upcoming family portrait. I have fond memories of my uncle repairing a lamp at the kitchen table and my grandfather in the backyard taking delight in the beautiful rose garden he started when he and my grandmother lived in the home my family now occupied. Many beautiful crafts are now becoming a lost art.

I also recall my mother playing host to all the neighborhood kids in our backyard, joining us on the swing and serving refreshments. I also remember her being involved in the neighborhood Mother’s Club, where all the local mothers got together by day to exchange talents and by night to socialize. The neighborhood seamstress would exchange her talents with the neighborhood pastry chef while the local gardener would exchange her talents with the local artist. Nowadays, many social connections are lost in favor of staying in and staying to ourselves. Never venturing out beyond our comfort zone, many talents remain hidden not only from friends, but from family members too.

Amidst tough economic times though we have a wonderful opportunity to expand our influence and our ministry as well as to reconnect with our family, friends, and more. The time is right to return to our roots; to shop for bargains, to use resources wisely, and to find pleasure in simple things... including in working with our hands once more. And when we do, we not only have a chance to develop our God-given talents, but we also have the opportunity to reconnect with others and to pass our craft onto a future generation. What legacy do you wish to pass on?

Honoring and Cherishing Loved Ones

2009-12-02T16:02:00.000-05:00

This is one of a series of posts illustrating a beautiful portrait of humanity; of men and women who without even realizing it, strive to embody qualities Proverbs 31 embraces in all life areas– personally, with their family, professionally, spiritually, and in their love life too. Whether you’re a "Proverbs 31” man or a woman, you stand out from the rest; you're a red rose among a field of yellow roses. You're a man or woman of and for all ages, a role model of timeless strength and beauty, virtue and responsibility; a cherished life partner and a powerful entrepreneur too!

Proverbs 31:12:

She will do him good, not evil, all the days of her life

Nowadays as in Biblical times, it is difficult to find a good partner... be it for business or for love. For example, Job's wife often questioned his faith and integrity in accepting so much adversity, with this questioning only adding to his trials (Job 2:9-10). Like Job, our loved ones often test our patience. God presents us with these challenges for a reason; to show us how to look beyond and find good in our current situation as well as come to understand that He is always working with and through us … even in adversity.

Like many, I believe Proverbs 31:10-31 is a continuation of the advise King Lemuel's mother taught him in Proverbs 31:1-9 about using the strength that is within to serve the needs of others. That by using our strength to serve others, we learn how to love our selves and others, and in turn, by learning how to love others and our selves, we learn to recognize when love returns to us in the form of a virtuous partner.

A virtuous partner then is not only viewed as serving the needs of their loved one, but also in wanting only that which is good for them, not evil. This is such a powerful verse to read then to live by. On the surface, it seems easy. Don't kill, maim, or otherwise harm your loved one. Like most, I can do that. What is more challenging though is the realization that anything not good and uplifting to your loved one is essentially evil. For example: do you ever find yourself talking about him behind his back, back talking him, demeaning him in front of others, discouraging him, dishonoring him, snagging the last cookie or slice of pie from him, talking down to him, or otherwise nagging him?

In determining whether we are indeed providing what is best for our loved one, we need to take a closer... if not painful... look in the mirror at how we choose to live our life. Specifically, we need to listen to what we say and observe ourselves as others would at what we do. After that, we need to ask ourselves honestly: Do my words and my deeds truly demonstrate to the one I love that I not only wish to love and serve him, but that I am also a constant benefit and blessing to him?

Being human, we most likely do not like what we hear or see at times. At the very least, we find areas where we can improve. All improvements start with trust, which is also the foundation of any healthy relationship. When each partner feels safe, trust develops. Trust, and the security it offers, however, does not occur over night. Rather, it develops over time when each partner knows that their loved one consistently demonstrates that they love, serve, and want what is best for them. Trust also develops when expressed words are consistent with actions shown. For example, verbal expressions of “I love you” are always backed up with actions such as attention, appreciation, and affection that clearly demonstrate love. Most of all, in finding a virtuous partner who is genuine, reliable, responsible, and agreeable, both partners feel truly blessed and have much gratitude as they know God had a hand in bringing them together.