I'm M

20/3

2011-03-21T07:30:00.002+08:00

I've decided to blog a bit on what's going on lately w/ me since its still quite early for bed time. Its going to be a boring blog post but thought it will still be nice to keep my blog alive, just by a little. So you might want to skip this post and go do something more productive :P

Anyways, went down to London last Tuesday as my Dear friend Amelia came to London. It was nice getting to meet her again! But this trip definitely did not go as smooth as the first trip we had. Yet, overall we had fun especially the night in Pabu's place. I myself didn't take any pictures but we took a few using Amelia's camera. Hopefully she's will upload them soon! :) And I spent quite a lot when I'm there in London. I should really start spending my money wisely!

Tomorrow's a Week9. Suppose to be a hell week but I am so proactive during this weekend that I've finished all 3 coursework that needs to be hand in this coming week. I'm actually very proud. Cheers to myself! :) But I have this major report that I haven't even started yet and its due by 1st of April. Can we spell procrastination?! Oh well, I will need to meet up w/ my tutor tomorrow to discuss about it. Hopefully I'll get things working soon!

Bristol this Saturday! For Korfball Nationals. Hoping we will stand a chance to win in this. Never been to Bristol, so I'm actually quite excited :) Another week before the Easter holiday to work on my report. Couldn't get to attend this year's AU Ball because I'll be traveling to Barcelona & Valencia on the 3rd of April! I'm so looking forward for it! After the trip, I'll be staying in London w/ my sister. Katy Perry's concert, Uni friends' visiting London, Eating, Shopping for the entire month of April! Omg, couldn't wait already! :P

Crunch time will definitely be the entire month of May. 2 weeks of lectures and straight into Finals. Gahh, I must do better for this semester! Screwed up the last one which is such disappointment. My aim is to get 2-1 or a first.

Its all about fun time after Finals! Family coming to UK to visit and travel, planning to go to Paris but have yet to get things sorted. Then when my family goes back to Malaysia, I'll be going to Istanbul to travel and visit my lovely friend Burcu! All these will take up the entire month of June before I fly back to Penang! I miss home, I want to go back badly, but yet, I'm not that keen to go back Penang straight away after my finals. I know I'm gonna rot and be all bored out if I go back Penang too early as most of my friends are not in Penang anymore. Bummer.

During my Summer holiday, I'm planning to go Australia and KK, since my friends wanting me to go over to pay them a visit, also I will love to do that too. Will have to bug my parents for that :P So, my plans for now are pretty much sorted and planned out. Happy times are waiting for me! Wheeeee! Now, signing off to watch Grey's Anatomy!

Miss me,
May.

26/2

2011-02-26T22:02:00.004+08:00

5 Weeks of the second semester just flew by with a blink of an eye! [Words I used are so boring] Week5 was indeed a little hectic, 3 coursework needed to be handed in. I'm all glad that is done and over. So here I am, being all lazy and relax. Played a Korfball match against Castle yesterday, we lost, felt gutted a bit as it was such a waste because we were leading at the beginning.

Went out to the union after the match. It was a different night compared to the usual union nights. Not a massive eventful night, just a normal plain union night, also this time not with any of the block mates, went by to met up w/ a friend. Started off w/ getting a double vodka w/ coke. His treat, surprisingly. I meant surprisingly because people here doesn't have the boys-should-get-the-drinks theory or at least the people I've met. Everyone get their own drinks. Then he had a pint of water which cracks me up as he was hammered the first time I met him and he wished to stay sober this time. Shots after shots, Jagerbomb after Jagerbomb. But I was completely sober, probably only a little tipsy. Met up a few of his friends. They were all medics, Smart yet outgoing. Downside, they are all younger than me. But for once, I don't feel old hanging w/ them. They are different. Overall it was really a great night, I'd prefer simple nights like this rather than having to dress up for silly themes and having so many people at the Union, lining up for hours to get a drink.

No pictures were taken even when I brought a camera there. I've been very lazy wanting to take pictures. I must take more pictures so I can remember good nights like this :)

2011-02-16T06:54:00.002+08:00

Spring semester. The most fun yet confusing semester of the time. Its not that I've been thru countless spring semester, but the spring semester I've been thru last year and this current one I'm going thru right now isn't very much different at all, almost felt similar. Its this mixed feeling that I always have during this time of the period. Feeling happy, contended, fun, but mainly I'm really confused. Why does this always happens to me? Its not a bad thing, which for that I'm grateful. But is this going to be a pattern whenever I've gone thru a rough time? Hmm..

Studies seems to be fine now tho. This week is the 4th week. Not much of assignments compared to the last semester which is kinda a relief to be frank. But I know more work is coming up as we speak. Will soon have a month Easter Break after the 10th week! Looking forward to it as my friends and I are planning on a trip to Barcelona :) Also, finally got all my results today! I passed every single modules! Definitely not with flying colours this time but I should be happy enough that I manage to passed. I really thought I have to face a resit! God heard my prayers :)

I'm writing this because currently I'm waiting for Grey's Anatomy to stream properly so I can watch it without lagging. Lol! I'll be back when I feel like blogging! Soon I hope! :)

New Sem.

2011-01-24T08:34:00.005+08:00

I just finish my Finals like 4 days ago,
And tomorrow a new semester starts. Starting all over again.
Classes, Lectures, Tutorials. Its gonna be hectic!
I feel like I didn't do well in my last semester, I might have to face some resits.
I wasn't too focus on last semester. Couldn't concentrate during exams.
Very disappointed in myself. I'm still hoping that miracle will happen.
But lately bad things just keep happening to me.
Pray for me too, will ya?

So after my finals, my friends and I decided to go York.
We just had to destress!

Highlight of the trip.
Had wonderful proper English High Tea.
Great Friends makes Great Companion.

The following day, took on a train
and met up w/ one of my favourite girl, Anna at Birmingham Bullring.
Shopping, Catching up, Gossips bout Guys and Girls,
Lots of eating, Yucky Milkshake, Cookie Dough Moments. Lol!
Again, I forget to snap a picture w/ her! :(
So I'll post a picture of us during the BGT Audition!
Yes, we went to watch the Britain's got Talents Audition.
Got 4 free tickets, Thanks to Yuki! :)

W/ the favourite girl at BGT!
Great experience.

So the new semester's timetable looks like crap.

I hate it! Look at all the gaps in between. Zzz
Keele should fire off all the organiser for making student's life suck.

Have to be more focus on this semester! :)
Its gonna be tough but I can do it!

Heart Wrenching.

2011-01-18T04:51:00.005+08:00

It hurts so bad like a needle through the heart. I just want it to stop feeling pain, at least numb it for a bit. Seriously whats wrong w/ me? Why can't I see that, he dumped me, ruining this relationship, move on already. Or his just not good enough for me, I should no longer stay. But sadly, I'm here just another pathetic girl, dwell in a place of misery and tearing up all the time. I feel even worse deep down in me. Words totally cannot describe the heartaching feeling I felt now. Constantly asking why to all the reasons we broke up. Just because of constant arguments that his ruining this relationship, that he didn't want to work this relationship w/ me. I've never ask for any materialistic stuff when I was with him, just a simple "Love Me" back. Being w/ him was just purely in love and nothing else. That's why it kills me so badly when knowing he doesn't want me to be part of his anymore. I kept telling everyone I'll stay strong but yet I know the fact that I'm unable to stand right back up. I've fell down so hard, so badly. I have to said I'm sorry but I can feel hatred is slowly building up in me. Sigh

At first, I'm all not ready to move on, to let go. But I've learnt that sometimes letting go may not be because you stop loving, it may be cause you love him so much that you only want the best for him. He wanted a better life, I wanted him to be happy, so I can't help but to let him go. Its heart wrenching to see him step out of my life, each step by step. But all this, I hope its for the best.

Right now, I want nothing. Nothing anymore. Especially love, I want nothing from it. This painful feeling I have, I don't think I'll ever want to feel it again. Cliche as it sounds, I don't think I'll be able to love someone anymore. I don't want to go thru another heartbreaking moments or allowing another Jerk to break my heart or pride. Love never last, ever. All I want to do now is to save my soul and heart. Salvage my pride back, I need to learn to be selfish. Besides, what is there to lose anymore? I'm glad that I have friends. True friends that have my back and would not leave me. To see them caring me, cheering me up, always by my side, I guess losing the you that no longer loves me is totally worth it. That's why I'll always priorities my friends first over you. Hopefully this break up will bring out the best in me.

I must stay strong..
Till my heart is recover..

This will be my last entry/post for my break up,

no longer want to mention it anymore.
Such a waste of time and its dumb to waste it for you.

17 January 2011

2011-01-17T12:21:00.003+08:00

0304am

I finally came to my senses
& have the courage to let go the things I couldn't save.
Now, I just have to save my broken heart.
Time, Friends and Family will help me along the way.
Oh! Also Pixie Lott - Turn it up :P
I must stay strong, I can pull it off..

Might as well

2011-01-16T04:00:00.002+08:00

No longer I can feel my soul.
A gun w/ 1 bullet. Fire up and pull the trigger at me,
Will you just?

No longer My Say.

2011-01-15T12:25:00.003+08:00

Dear you,

Another fight again, huh? To think about it, its nothing but just a small fight. But it always leads to huge arguments. Why can't either Me or You just get over it and apologies to each other, said that we love each other? Why must we always argue to the end and decide whose in the wrong? Why must we let our prides to get in the way? Why can't we communicate like we used to be? I hate every part of it, hate it when we argued. By saying you're not good enough, just gonna solve everything and shut off this 3 years relationship? You used to be the perfect one for me, yes you were there, why did you change? I love you that's why I can't bare to make any decision for our relationship right now. So I'm leaving the hard part to you. If letting go is what you wants, then there's no point I'm trying to hold on all the time. There's really nothing I can do. If you still know me well, You should know what I want and what to do. I hope there's still Hopes in Us.

M.
By writing this, I must stay strong and see this back that if he lets go, there's no turning back.
If he doesn't, I'll make sure this time we will work it out and make things right.
But for now, guess I'll deal w/ my swollen eyes and sleep it off..

2011-01-12T07:06:00.002+08:00

I try to hold on to the things that aren't worth fighting for anymore.

I guess I'm too caught up in the old memories, that I just can't let go.

Hold my hands, let me know.

2011-01-09T12:29:00.004+08:00

Read some inbox msges from last year.
The sweet ones, the bad ones.
All felt so different compared to now.
Seriously, I should have known from the start.
What was I even thinking?

Do I still love the person I once love?
Or am I just holding on only because I'm being selfish?
All I know its I'm still not ready to let go and move on.
Or at least, I can't bare w/ it if I do it.

I'm not saying its a one party's fault.
I'm having doubts myself too.
Hence, first up, I'm already in wrong.
Is this all like I always felt a matter of time thing?

All I'm wishing now...
For everything to go back to the way it was used to be.
Where we miss each others dearly.
Where we still see each other seriously.
Where we'll always be there for each other.
Where we knew how important this relationship means to us.
Where we cared and loved each other.
Where I know you will always be the one...

2010-12-17T20:52:00.003+08:00

These miss you nights

are the longest and hardest ...

My 20th Birthday

2010-12-16T09:57:00.006+08:00

This is the second time I've celebrated my birthday in the UK. Couldn't believe how time fly by so quickly. I can still rmb cleary how was the last birthday celebration, it was w/ my uni friends. They make it all so happening for me last year. Tho it was fun last year, but I wouldn't want that kind of celebration no more. This year for a change, I want something warm and close to my heart, I celebrated my 20th birthday w/ sis and only beloved sis.

She came to my place at Keele, mainly to celebrate our birthday together. Yes you get me. Our birthday. Hers is one day after mine. This year, we finally got the chance to celebrate together again after years of not celebrating together eversince she came to uk. The weekend of our birthdays, all we did for our celebration were dinners, movies, shopping, xmas market, Manchester and Birmingham. No partying :)

The 20th me and the 23rd of her
Only the both of us.

Getting to celebrate with her is something I would never exchange of. She is the one that will stand by me and be there for me no matter what. Having her in my life, my life is so much easier. I don't have to say much already :)

I remember reading somewhere, "what should we feel on day like this?"[And no, its not I google that, if you were wondering.] Truely, I have no answer to that. Sometimes, especially when you are far away from home, not having the most important people in your life/your love one to make you feel special, like just a simple call, make you feel and bury the stupid idea into your brain saying that: ...

..."Its just another usual day."

2010-12-07T09:11:00.005+08:00

Its terribly difficult to find someone who completely loves you for the person whom you are. Most of the time, people make ridiculous demands; they expect you to change the little bits of yourself to cater to their wishes. That's including myself.

What I think is, we all deserve that someone, who will love the good, the bad, the disgusting, the weird bits, the odd and pieces about us - Being late all the time, not knowing how to please someone, not doing how to do the dishes, being demanding, the pms-y grumpy moments, not dolled up all the time.

Thats someone worth keeping for the rest of your life.

- am I ever gonna get someone who's worth fighting for? -
May

Keeping it Moving.

2010-08-04T03:34:00.003+08:00

Blog w/ whatever picture that I have.

Dropby at Jess's sort of belated birthday party w/ Aric.
She got a new red hair!

Went to USM Konsert Diraja to see Mad perform for the Perlis King w/ Anas.
We were very undressed and I almost couldn't went in because I didn't put on long pants.
We couldn't stand the atmosphere in there and stayed for about 30mins and we left.

Went PanMee w/ my mum today.
Yummy Max.

Then to Queens for Forever 21, bought a little things there.
They have quite a number of pretty clothes!
Wish I was rich. Lol!

30 July.

2010-07-31T03:09:00.006+08:00

Which is nicer?

Well, it doesn't really matter anymore because I bought the black one.
So hopefully you all agree w/ me that the black one looks better! :)

Then I wore it at night.

This its on Wednesday night.
Oh, and that's Kayin's. We called it the Sex Tool. Lol!
Not gonna post this picture on FB but only my blog because I looked wasted.
Which clearly I'm not, was just having a little too much fun :P

So yesterday, after dinner w/ family

Went to Batu Ferringhi w/ Aric, Kayin and Kayin Uni's friends.
We were all very disappointed because none of the Dvd stalls were open!
Not sure were they closed for good or just that night.
There goes my Dvd Spree :(

So we headed for supper.

My all time favorite Song River's Chicken Wing!
We wanted the Ikan Bakar as well.
But we have to wait for an hour it! So we didn't have the chance.
Will have it the next time!
Come to think of it, I haven't eat Ikan Bakar yet since the day I got back!

Then Bunny House and Poker at Kayin's place for a few short hours.
Lol! Love The Bunny House. Such a bimbotic one.

As for Today, I woke up very late and stayed at home!
So not me on a Friday Night.
Had dinner w/ family in my favorite restaurant.

Definitely the nicest pork ribs ever! Lol

Did my nails myself! Pretty?
You have to give me some credits on that! Lol!
Did I mention before I love love, like love Skin Food's Top Coat?
Definitely well recommended!

This was the previous one, I did it myself too :)

CT should be busy w/ her work right now, couldn't ask her to help on w/ my nails.
And yes, I can only do Polka Dots :(

Oh well, that's just what I basically do today!
Of coz, Watched E! too :D
Have a great weekend! Xo

All over again.

2010-07-31T03:00:00.001+08:00

My weak point is definitely you.
I'm Love Struck.

This time, can be like the first time.
That I fall in love w/ you,
All over again. ♥

29

2010-07-29T21:31:00.003+08:00

Hey friends!
I'm back blogging. Been lazy to update. Heh! I'm watching Kimora on E! and blogging. So I'm gonna do a quick short one. I woke up today by Kwen's call feeling really exhausted as I went partying last night. So, I decided to catch a movie w/ them Kwen, Anas and FeiCui. We watched Inception.

I like the movie! And thanks to Kwen, we only paid 6bucks for the it. Lol! The movie is a serious long one but definitely worthy your time and money! I think most of you have already watched the movie. Not gonna talk about the movie.

So that's it! Lol. Just a short quick one like I said. I'm still waiting for my friends call to go out tonight. Will blog more! :)

♥ M

2010-07-12T00:51:00.002+08:00

Have been drinking 4-5 cans of it. I hated the taste of it, or even smell.
Still I'm forced to drink it as much as I could. The reason, fall sick.
Was in KL when this happened. Had Food Poisoning, Puked a whole loads, Body Aching and down to Fever. Totally in bad shape.
Now, I feel much better already. Just feel very weak. Hopefully I'll be fine by tomorrow.

Life's Good.

2010-07-06T03:03:00.008+08:00

Last Friday, went to UPR to attend the Xpax Xplay Event. It is quite an event as Xpax gives out free invitation to everyone who registered on Facebook. So, we all were assuming that UPR is gonna be pack adding on with the Football fever season that keeps everyone going crazy. We went earlier than usual to avoid traffic and to get parkings. Of coz, I'm not the one driving, Anas did. Because we went early, we chilled and met up with the rest in Sega before going to the event.

Xpax event was alright, I had fun. Electro Music by Dj Lapsap was the reason I went. Just want to get the taste of Electro Music. Turns out it wasn't that bad and I enjoyed it and infact I quite like it. It wasn't that noisy kind of Electro music that I expect.
Took a few pictures :)

As expected, UPR was so pack that night.

Tiger in Sega.

Just us girls. ♥

And maybe a few boys.

They are soul mates! Lol!

Time for Xpax Xplay!

LapSap spinning the table, Awesome!

My Girlfriends.
FeiCui and Wernie!

W/ friends and met a few of them!

Not a bad night after all, well at least I had fun.
Like Anas said, For Penang standard, Good enough la!
Hopefully in future, Mois will have more events like these :)

♥ M

Time to dust it off!

2010-07-01T17:16:00.013+08:00

Got back PG 3 weeks ago and it's also time for me to get back with my blog. Since I have nothing to do, think I should spend it wisely here, instead of Facebook all the time. Let's see how long I can keep my blog updated. I can said I have lost interest in blogging. At times, I just feel like quitting the blogging world. Hope I don't! :)

So far, Summer break has been great for me. Everyday feels like a weekend and Time is really going by so quickly. Couldn't believe its already July. But there's really nothing much for me to do in PG. I should really get out of PG. Maybe, just maybe. :)

Yet, I like being in PG. I feel home and I like the present of being at home. Altho at times it does bored me out, but being at home just feels good. I enjoyed it a lot because I don't get all this when I'm studying aboard. Really, should stop talking. I think I can go on forever. Lol!

Finally got back my room after nine months. Love love love my room. I for once appreciated my room so much. I have almost forgotten that I have all this. It feels like a hotel room for me when the first day I got back. Not exaggerating, its true! Feels good to be home.

Not forgetting Penang Food!
Have been eating all the food I miss!
Heavenly Good.
Need me to say more? :)

Come back to reunite and meet up with lovely people!
I always have so much fun with them. Miss everyone so much.
Above photos are not the only people that I favor or whatsoever, I just picked them randomly. Don't be sensitive if your picture is not here, either I don't have a picture of us or I don't look good it in. Haha!
But you are definitely in my mind and heart. I know who you are :D

Night Out & Chilling with my Girlfriends.
Gossip and catching up with one another's life.

Party while I still can.

Most importantly, spend precious valuable time with my family that I love most.

♥ M

2010-05-23T02:08:00.002+08:00

When the truth is ugly, people try to keep it hidden,
because they know if revealed, the damage it will do.
So they conceal it within sturdy walls
or they place it behind closed doors
or they obscure it with clever disguises but truth,
no matter how ugly, always emerges.
And someone we care about always ends up getting hurt.
And someone else will revel in their pain and that's the ugliest truth of all.

Mary Alice Young

Hibernating

2010-05-16T06:51:00.002+08:00

Gonna stop blogging till I'm done with my Exams.
Not like I'll even update.
Till I'm back again..

My Dead Blog.

2010-04-25T09:57:00.004+08:00

Dear Blog,

Having my Easter Break.
Sorry that I've abandon you for quite some time.
I know that I'm such a bad blogger than I didn't make time for you.
I really hope to post up and update everything, but I can't.
Time seem to passed by so quickly for me.
Lets just forget about the past and move on, shall we?
I'll talk about the London and Portsmouth Trip!
Its such an awesomely amazing trip, Loving every bits of it ♥
So I'll definitely tell you about all the great moments I had.
Oh well, let us hope that there are still loyal readers out there!
Love Love ♥

♥ M

Ben&Jerry's!

2010-04-09T00:52:00.001+08:00

Definitely a very suitable thing to have to cool you down in such hot weather in London!
Yup! Im in London now. Already in here for about a week, another week to go.
One more week left and its not enough for me! I would really wish to stay longer! So much shopping and fun to do here. Loves it!
Anyways, gtg continue what Im doing! Catch up with you guys soon!
<3 M.

Could've Been

2010-03-30T01:41:00.002+08:00

Look at me, In my eyes.
And tell me that you feel nothing inside.
Cause I can't wash you off my skin..
But I can't see you ever again.

So I'll forget I love you,
Don't want you anymore..
I'll keep on lying to myself, cause we could've had it all..
And you should keep pretending that Im only just a friend,
Can you look me in the eyes and say that its worth it in the end?
Tell me you don't love me anymore..

♥ M
Let go..