so what?

2006-11-19T20:34:00.000+01:00

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callused
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Let's start over

Boxcar Racer "I feel so"...

2006-11-03T22:44:00.000+01:00

If i gave you any reason to follow me, you can still find me at Jmod.net.

And that's it for the glorious so what. Gate down, door closed.

2006-10-24T16:44:00.000+02:00

i still get 4-5 hits a day, and i want to believe that at least a couple of hits a week are from old readers, waiting for me to get a move and start bloggin all over again.
aaaaand.... i am. in a while.
for now you can have a sneak at http://jmod.net/test... just don't fool around too much, nothing works except for the front page for now.

life's still good, things still happen and so on and so on

2006-07-23T12:47:00.000+02:00

i think i'm going in some kind of summer vacation...
be back in fall 2006 -- with a surprise ;)

2006-07-14T20:58:00.000+02:00

it's great that mum's cooking for me because even though i cook just as well she saves me tons of time that i can waste in other more ineffective ways.

and after *that* many years i'm still so surprised of how dad is able to find tasks and more tasks every hour of every day and what an incredibly long amount of unnecessary seconds it takes to him to give it to me.

home sweet home...

2006-07-13T22:02:00.000+02:00

i convinced gf to spend my last 4 days in poland living with me, we had so much sex it was the first time in my life i had to say no to a girl.

actually it was more like just give me 5 minutes ok? but then one thing led to another and it was already two in the afternoon and so and so

but fuck it was great. sliding my hand on her skin, holding her body while she catches her breath after an orgasm, looking to her face in the darkness of the cinema cause the movie was so boring and she was so much better... i'm gonna miss gf

then the last day i went out in the afternoon alone to meet an old friend, and when i got back in my room gf was gone, of course. just a note telling me she had enver wanted me to see her crying. i knew and probably i secretly whised not to find her again in the room...

so today i was walking down the streets of this old city of mine and i felt like an alien mostly because i couldn't believe people are so stupid.

2006-07-11T18:24:00.000+02:00

i feel so happy
i feel so tired
i feel a delusion
but i knew it
and i know it's better like this
i feel a little homesick
i feel connected to this place
i feel like rolling stone, from time to time
and this is one of those times
and i feel lonely
i feel surrounded by interesting people
and a few great friends
i feel great compared to other departures
i feel that i don't know if i want it to be over now or rather in 6 hours
and i hate packing
shit
i feel so...
i feel so unsure
but so certain at the same time
i feel moody
i don't feel like drinking
i feel like running
but i feel so lazy
i feel like i have no control over my life in this very moment
because this is an old choice's consequence
i knew it and i'm good with it
yet not so good as i thought.

meh.

2006-07-05T14:39:00.000+02:00

i can't write, i'm in a limbo.

i'll be back.

2006-06-29T15:43:00.000+02:00

to all those bloggers who state in the home page I'M ALWAYS RIGHT AND YOU ARE ALWAY WRONG: go fuck yourself.

stop acting like a baby and grow up, you are not what you say you are but what you deserve to be. that is, start writing something smart FIRST, and THEN i will think about it and see if you have any chance.

last night at last opened Copacabana, this club on the beach, and everybody was so excited for it like it was the event of the year and it really is here because it's such a summer thing.

even though it's never really sumer here.

but anyway there's tons of clubs like that in italy so it was nothing special for us.

and my friend and i went in and without asking for anything they gave us the pass for the vip lounge, and the best part is that they denied is to so many hot girls. how lame...

2006-06-28T11:54:00.000+02:00

Bag 1 Status TRACING CONTINUES. PLEASE CHECK BACK LATER

how many ways do you know to say that you have no fucking idea whatsoever where my bag is? oh but i totally understand you, it's so damn hard to get the right bag on the right plane once, let alone twice. and in a row!

shitfuck

i had some summer clothes that i totally don't need because it's raining like hell, a box of condoms that i don't need because gf is busy with exams, a bottle of chianti red 2004 that i don't need because gf is busy with exams and anyway i still have the old bottle to finish, a brand new 50ml acqua di giò that i don't need because my friend has it anyway, two books of acoustics for architecture that I FUCKING NEED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I HAVE AN EXAM IN TWO DAYS AND I HAVE NOTHING TO STUDY ON!!!

life goes on, i will paint.

2006-06-27T02:13:00.000+02:00

an ugly mix of stress anger tiredness and a little happiness for italy's ridiculous victory. and a simbolic headache for having spent 2 days sorrounded by people who spoke my own mother language.

milan is one big fucking stupid fat live blog full of people who think out loud like we give a fuck that they have been waiting 7 minutes at the counter or that last year their son's name was mispelled. WTF? buddy, i'm here to give you the greatest news that you have the right to shut up. your buzzing mumbling makes me feel bad about you and i feel very much like starting a fight.

2006-06-23T01:58:00.000+02:00

girlfriend told me that even though she doesn't know me -well just very very little- she has now complete trust in me. this came after i told her that she drinking beer with her girlfriends at home made me want to have a glass of wine and kiss her.

but most of all after a month and a half we spent together.

i must have done something to her because she has been with me even though she didn't know if she could trust me or not for such a long time that if it was me i would have looked for somebody else after the first week.

2006-06-22T22:39:00.000+02:00

this blog is getting fucking boring.

2006-06-22T18:59:00.000+02:00

ok i got it. if i don't watch the game italy do good.

yes, do and not does... did you know that countries' names (at least when referring to a team) are treated as plural? like,

today italy play against czech republic, they'll certainly win.

i read it on BBC.co.uk, and i'll tell you it was quite a surprise... i mean, english is reknown to be a straight language, very practical, that doesn't like abstract terms, and then you treat the name of a country (clearly singular) as a plural entity because it refers to a team. teambeing a singular term as well, but describing a group of people.

two (2) passages to get from singular to plural. (mario would say) what's this for a language?

2006-06-20T15:42:00.000+02:00

no idea of what to write, but i promised myself i have to write something smart every day.

got home from gf's place, got a haircut by the best hairdresser in town. he's from nigeria, got in poland four years ago, learnt polish here -and i can assure you it's not an easy task at all- and he does my hair just like i want it. and i didn't even have to tell him much the first time i went there. we talked a little about world championship of course, and basically he's happy of ghana, which i easily understand, and he thinks italy is playing a very good soccer, which i find quite unbelievable.

then the song on the radio finished and the commercial started and it was ITALIAN!

i asked him for what obscure reason an italian radio was playing in poland, and he pointed at the satellite tv and showed me that it was set on Gay.TV. i think it was cool.

2006-06-19T15:41:00.000+02:00

there is something about sex that sometimes it just doesn't work. mainly when you know you will have sex long before the encounter and you're all tensed up and make sure your room is perfect and then you fuck it over.

you feel stressed and that's the best way ever to get bad sex. ever.

so tonight i'm trying not to have sex and maybe it will work the other way around. like it will be my worst no-sex ever...

and if you now something about my [a href=have_a_look_at_the_previous_post]girl[/a] i'm gonna have to tell her that i want to have a passionate night of animal sex so that she will decide not to give me anything...

also it's warm and sunny again and of course i have to study today and i can't go to the beach. i'm gonna have a talk with the weather man because he should fix his sun/rain schedule based on my exams' schedule.

2006-06-18T21:55:00.000+02:00

sometimes you realize you have the right friends who like the wrong things. not that they are wrong by themselves, but they don't suit your needs at all so that you are left with two choices and not one more: "the lonely heart in the uber-cool alternative artist place", or "the greatest fun of all times with the funnierest people ever in a shithole".

and i can say i know every shithole around here like my own pockets.

other times you realize that you know everything about women. at least about my girl. it's as simple as that: if i say "let's do it" she says "i don't feel like" and if i say "i'm busy i'm tired i don't want to" she says "ok i'll dry my hair and be at your place".

and now i realize that the above paragraph can be easily misunderstood: we are not talking about sex, we are talking about every SINGLE thing.

holy moly italy was a shame against US, but somebody gotta explain to them 'mericans the difference between soccer and football.

2006-06-18T19:22:00.000+02:00

2006-06-14T01:29:00.000+02:00

if you can hear this then you are not that old after all...

2006-06-13T02:06:00.000+02:00

i opened a coconut yesterday, is that fucking hard! all i had was a swiss army knife and the internet and of course i found the easy and effortless way of opening it just seconds after i succeded. it took me an hour forty minutes. six thousands seconds.

and of course it was freaking old and... -ok, not so fresh- so i decided to give it to my friends. they liked it.

so right now i'm doing some rendering for my project. not that it should interest you at all, but just to say that as soon as i finishe (i.e. no less then 48 hours) i'll upload pictures of the challenge...

2006-06-11T16:14:00.000+02:00

friend: fuck guys i haven't had sex for three weeks...
me: oh come on you saw your girlfriend just two days ago!
friend: ya but that doesn't count. that's lovemaking.

also, the orgasm is the time when human ego performs at it's most. no other moment in a man's or woman's life will ever be more selfish.

2006-06-11T10:45:00.000+02:00

eight clubs in six hours last night. it fuckin sucks.

2006-06-10T16:24:00.000+02:00

The Perfect Guide On How To Lose Weight And Give A Descent Shape To Your Beer Belly (And Occasionally Save Some Money) - IDIOT PROOF!!

Step 1: The phone call (difficulty: easy) - Call the water company and tell them you don't want hot water to be delivered to your house anymore

Step 2: Meditation (difficulty: easy) - Step in your shower (do NOT turn the water on yet), look at the faucet, think about what's gonna come out of it and how it's gonna feel

Step 3: The second thought (difficulty: extremely easy) - Step out of the shower in desperation once you start thinking of how cold the water is gonna be

Step 4: Action (difficulty: medium) - You need a good reason now to shower, right? So down on the floor and start exercising until you are so hot and sweaty that nothing could stop you from getting under a flow of water, and so exhausted that you don't have physical sensation anymore.

Step 5: The final encounter (difficulty: medium to difficult, extremely difficult in certain cases) - Shut down your brain: you are a hot stinky animal, you walk directly into the shower and turn the water on so that it hits you immediately and you don't have time for a second thought.

Repeat once a day for at least twenty (20) days.
Works better in winter.

2006-06-10T03:34:00.000+02:00

So wanna here 'bout art?

Well there is something about art, and something about looking at art, and something about money. Money should never ever... Ok well money shouldn't have even existed in the first place, but given that as of right now the world would quite simply stop functioning without money, money should keep its hand off art. In fact the big enemy is not money, but popularity. And provocation. Ok guys, we got the message, artist's crap is more valuable then gold, but that's been (notice how I used the present perfect, and not the past simple) half a century ago.

Last year a 10 meters high pussy hair was proudly displayed on the streets of Milan. WTF? The excuse by the artist's side was that it was a provocation to society. Are you making fun of us? It's not a bad taste problem, we are open enough to look at a vagina (pubes, actually) without being shocked. It's a you-are-dumb problem, and with you whoever accepted to display your work.

An exerpt from gruppogarage's manifesto:

10. Eroticism (understood in the classic meaning of the term) is the artistic representation of the human capacity to invest in his affective aspect

11. Erotic art has always been part of human creative production, representing in artistic form the possibility of the species to continue to exist

Eroticism is the highest level a human being is able to reach. High poetry is eroticism. Impressive architecture is eroticism. The finest photography is eroticism. Eroticism is art, and art is eroticism in all of its aspects.

Given that, for how art has developed in this last century, anything is potentially capable of being art, what makes a work of art a good work of art? It's not the esthetic. esthetic has nothing to do with art. It's not how pretty it is or how nice the colours are. It's about transmitting feelings and emotions. It doesn't matter if you like it or not, but how much it tells you.

Ja did you see that site?

izabelka yees

Ja and?

Ja what do you think?

izabelka I'm not sure...there is something weird and... unnatural in those pictures.... in most of them women look like his slaves...

izabelka but i have no idea about photography

And that's the point. It doesn't have to be a good feeling, nor you should be an expert to judge. The simple fact that some still images can communicate such a complex sensation says it all. You can actually be sure that a work is a great piece of art only when you hate it. The more you hate it the more the artist has stroke.

I would like to end this post talking about the condition of the artist to produce art, but since it's late and I've already done it I will desist.

2006-06-09T22:54:00.000+02:00

no'n' t'say...
fuckin dull day it was but blog of mine needed attention so that's the post for today.

enjoy.