New York Leftist

Rep. Jeff Duncan - Asshole of the Moment

2013-06-19T14:05:00.000-04:00

NYL is pleased to award its coveted Asshole of the Moment award to Rep. Jeff Duncan. Naturally, he is a Republican from South Carolina.

Duncan appeared on Rick Wiles radio program. Wiles is a professional rabble-rouser, who touts the usual RWNJ conspiracy pablum to a gullible audience, which eagerly laps up whatever is served by Wiles or Beck.

Duncan jumped on the crazy train bandwagon, declaring "there you go; I'm all with you, so let's go back and revisit some of these things because Americans have questions about...the President's validity."

I had some questions about Presidential eligibility, and some questions about Rep. Duncan's ability to answer them. I sent this e-mail to Rep. Duncan on June 15, 2013:

click on any image to enlarge

I got this reply. He got my gender wrong, too:

Duncan did not correct one of my blatantly un-Constitutional claims, which have been flying around the 'Net for years. In fact, he sympathized with me.

The Intellectual Taxi Company

2013-06-08T06:36:00.000-04:00

With so many college graduates unemployed, or underemployed, I would like to propose the Intellectual Taxi Company.

Here's the solution: Someone wants to go to the airport and have a stimulating ride. They decide to discuss, say, Albert Camus along the way. They would call the Intellectual Taxi Company, and ask for a philosophy major.

"Hi. I'd like to go to the airport and discuss Camus on the way there."

"Great. We have a philosophy major, who is well versed in Camus and Sartre. You can discuss both."

"Fine. Send him over."

Best of all, regular rates would apply, not a premium. Plus, drivers' life experiences could be applied to those still matriculating. I say it's win-win for everyone.

Cricket Wireless Sucks

2013-06-05T16:00:00.000-04:00

I have published a new blog about the miserable, surly staff at Cricket Wireless.

Send this to your friends. Help me boycott Cricket Wireless.

Libertarian Calls 911

2013-06-04T02:18:00.000-04:00

HOUSTON - Bobbie Mackenzie, a Libertarian Party member and Ron Paul supporter called 911 today, during an asthma episode.

Mr. Mackenzie said he called the government against his principles. "First, I called my mom, but she couldn't get away from work. Then I called my friends in the Libertarian Party. Some didn't answer, and the others couldn't get here from work or classes. I finally broke down and called the rescue squad."

Mr. Mackenzie explained how government workers can't cut it in the private sector, as one Fire Department employee put an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. "I'll tell you, when Ron Paul is president he'll privatize fire departments," Mr. Mackenzie said as two rescue squad members lifted him onto a stretcher. "Once they're privatized, their union won't get them obscene salaries," he said as a Fire Department squad member put an IV line into a vein.

"When Rand Paul is president, the Fire Department will have to buy their own vehicles instead of the taxpayers," he said as the Rescue Squad wheeled him to an ambulance. "I suppose they're going to take me to a public hospital, instead of the one operated by Tenet," Mr. Mackenzie said from the back of the ambulance. "Well, the free ride at the expense of taxpayers is going to be over soon," he continued, raising his voice over the siren.

"When Ron Paul is president, I'll be able to go to the hospital of my choice instead of letting socialist fascists take me to where they want to go. Public hospitals are really communist institutions."

"I wonder how much the city is going to charge me for this," Mr. Mackenzie asked. "I shouldn't have to pay for this. I pay enough in taxes, which are really confiscated wages," he said as he was wheeled into the nearest hospital. "They said the Tenet hospital was too far. Typical public employees, always taking the easy way out," he concluded through the oxygen mask.

N Carolina To Regulate Sale of Cereal

2013-05-17T17:19:00.000-04:00

State Constitution Allows Sale of People

Extra: Electric Cars Are Dangerous

RALEIGH - State Sen. Tom Apodaca (R) announced that North Carolina will ban the sale of Tesla cars. At the same press conference, Sen. Apodaca said North Carolina will regulate the sale of cereals.

"We are concerned that the public gets the right amount of grains in their diet. We have passed a bill requiring a registered dietitian be on the staff of every supermarket branch in the state. For example, if a Harris-Teeter branch did not have a staff dietitian, they would be fined one thousand dollars per day, and risk being shut down. We feel this is the only way North Carolinians get the roughage they need."

He continued, "If it were up to liberals, people could buy all the cereal they want went it went on sale, and they would flock to the emergency room, bleeding out their ass. Things are going to get expensive enough with Obamacare."

Senator Apodaca also said North Carolina would outlaw the use of e-mail. "We want people to use the postal service, not some newfangled thingy on their desk."

Senator Apodaca proudly noted "the state constitution allows the buying and selling of people. We found an 1860 law that has been ignored up to now."

Texas Secedes?

2012-11-13T23:10:00.000-05:00

Col. Rick Perry, Republic of Texas

AUSTIN - At a press conference in the Texas Capitol building, Gov. Rick Perry announced he will act on a campaign pledge to secede from the Union.

"I am fed up with the federal government, especially with that colored fella, and we're gonna to do what our agreement said we could. When Texas entered the union in 1845, it was with the understanding it could pull out. And that's what we're gonna do. We're going to work out an arrangement to share Spoon, but that's it.

That Obama guy might as well go to Kenya, 'cause he ain't welcome in Texas.

Louisiana might even join us. That Indian guy is alright. He's a Christian, and he believes in Creation. Even got a law passed - told the feds right to go to hell where they belong, along with that Kenyan who believes in mumbo-jumbo.

And Louisiana knows how to treat them colored. Those panty-waist liberals call it prison slavery. Hell it is - it's good business, which is more than those liberal snobs know.

I got one thing to say to that Obama fella and the feds - we're an independent lot, and we're sending you packing."

Obama: 'I Am Suing Orly Taitz'

2012-11-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

Perkins Coie To File In Orange County

Dr. Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq.

WASHINGTON, DC - At a White House press conference today, Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that Obama's law firm of Perkins Coie is filing a libel, slander, and defamation lawsuit against California dentist/lawyer/real estate agent Dr. Orly Taitz.

"We are sending a team of attorneys today to Federal Court in Orange County. President Obama has simply had enough of Dr. Taitz's antics, and his lawyers have advised shutting her down.

We are asking for damages of one million dollars, and are hoping the judge will treble that, because she has engaged in malicious behavior.

I am not able to take questions, because of the on-going litigation. For any further information or updates, I am going to refer you to Perkins Coie's spokesman. You'll have to contact them directly.

That is all I can tell you. Thank you for attending."

Netanyahu Explained

2012-09-30T22:19:00.001-04:00

Bibi's UN presentation explained:

Where did Mitt Romney bury the girl he strangled in 1987?

2012-09-19T22:34:00.001-04:00

BREAKING NEWS Glenn Beck refuses to deny involvement EXTRA

So readers, let's hear what you have to say about Willard Mitt Romney, while I work on another column.

Romney: 'Obama Does Not Tip'

2012-09-14T12:29:00.000-04:00

Shocking new charge: 'Obama did not tip the waitresses in college.'

BOSTON - At a campaign headquarters presser, Willard Romney said "As a college student, I always tipped waitresses. It never bothered me that our coins and paper money had "In God we trust" on it."

"I can assure you that it did not offend me in college, and it does not offend me now. As president, I will always tip servers and not object to "God" on our currency. I will not use "In God we trust", as an excuse not to tip."

Governor Romney then closed the press conference with a pledge to the flag, with a chorus led by Jenna Jameson.

A Musical Interlude

2012-09-12T16:47:00.003-04:00

Enjoy this music video while I work on another article.

WND: 'Romney Has Unicorn DNA?'

2012-09-11T06:06:00.000-04:00

CHANTILLY - WorldNetDaily majordomo Joseph Farah announced today, that WND is going to investigate Willard Mitt Romney's birth certificate and family history, to determine once and for all if the Republican presidential candidate has unicorn DNA.

"We know for a fact that Barack Hussein Obama's major influences were card carrying Communist Party activists. Both of his parents were communists, as well as Frank Marshall Davis, Obama's secret father. Davis died in Honolulu in 1987. The connection is obvious."

Farah continued, "What we don't know, is if Willard Mitt Romney is a dual Mexican citizen and more importantly, if Romney has unicorn DNA from his family tree. Judge Cebull has pointed out the ways Obama's mother slept around. We want to know if any of Romney's ancestors in Mexico slept around similarly. It was a polygamist colony, so who knows? The American people deserve nothing less."

Farah went on to say, "Income from the so-called birther crowd has petered out. We feel by courting the unicorn crowd, we will have a new income stream. A new line of unicorn merchandise has been added to our on-line store, and we now accept every type of payment to make it easy for our readers to indulge themselves, as well as ourselves. For example, we now carry seeds which grow vegetables that are not attractive to unicorns. I'm proud of that."

The Truth About Voter ID

2012-09-10T18:52:00.003-04:00

"Voter ID which is gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania - done." - PA House Republican Leader Mike Turzai; June 23, 2012

Bris-In-A-Carton

2012-08-18T00:23:00.000-04:00

Discarded by a mohel.

Romney Humor

2012-08-11T12:22:00.001-04:00

Mitt Romney, Boris Yeltsin and a dog walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll you have?"

Romney says, "I'm a Mormon. I don't drink alcohol or coffee. I'll have a Vernor's."

Yeltsin says, "I'll have a Black Russian."

.
The dog says, "After those 12 stinking hours, I'll have grain alcohol, and throw some cold water on that pompous ass wearing blue jeans.”

Kelly Keisling Wins Asshole Award

2012-08-07T18:20:00.000-04:00

New York Leftist is pleased to announce the winner of its coveted Asshole of the Moment™ award, is Tennessee Rep. Kelly Keisling (R-Mars).

Representative Keisling and his assistant Holt Witt are fine Xtian ~~reptiles~~ gentlemen, as confirmed by Holt Witt's salutation, "Something to think and PRAY about. Interesting times…Blessings"

Representative Keisling, and I use that honorific loosely, has openly wished for the assassination of our president. It's a new low in the tradition of US Representative Joe Wilson, from South Carolina's 2nd congressional district. Not surprisingly, he is also from a red state.

I firmly believe southern states should be allowed to secede. The nation's dental health would improve by 100%, overnight.

Romney Rejects Randy Recommendation

2012-08-06T12:08:00.000-04:00

Romney renounces Jenna Jameson endorsement: "I'd rather have Trump's than that tramp's."

BOSTON - Willard Mitt Romney today repudiated Jenna Jameson's endorsement saying, "I need to get 50.1% or more and I'm appreciative to have the help of a lot of good people - except harlots like her."

When asked about Romney's repudiation, Ms. Jameson said "I don't understand Mittens. I've screwed more people than he has. Maybe it's age. Like when I told Mittens I like it doggy-style, he strapped me to the roof of his car. Kinky, now that I think about it. Plus, I was hoping to become the ~~sister~~ second First Lady. It happens all the time in Utah."

Trump was more direct: "Jesus Christ, what's this country coming to, when whores and ignoramuses act like they're important?" Trump went on to say, "They want me in Tampa. As a matter of fact, I've been given the GOP's Statesman of the Year award. That's how important I am. Suck on it, Obama. Herman Cain is my supporter. Like I told you, I have a great relationship with the blacks, except for that Kenyan."

Romney Lands in Israel

2012-07-29T00:31:00.000-04:00

TEL AVIV - ~~Probative presumptive~~ retrograde ~~Tea Party Trump~~ GOP ~~puppet~~ candidate Willard Mitt Romney's entourage landed at Ben Gurion International Airport, today. His airplane was accompanied by a helicopter brigade, to the strains of Die Walküre. Despite the Romney campaign's having banned the media, New York Leftist was able to get behind the lines, and got this footage of his landing:

"I have told my good friend Bibi that I will defer to him, just as I have done for Birthers and the rest of the psycho-ceramics like Michele Bachmann, who ~~control the GOP~~ guard our common Anglo-Saxon heritage," Romney told a group of hushed reporters.

In related news, Glenn Beck said "I want to give a shout out to the John Birch Society, who are stopping Americans from being poisoned by fluoride. Our magic underwear protects us against all evil forces."

Market America - Threat or Menace?

2012-05-12T03:51:00.000-04:00

Part one is here. Part two is here.

In my previous blog posts, I wrote about the MA breathtaking mark-ups, and that much of what they sell are nostrums. I also wrote MA is a pyramid scheme, that they are getting away with.

When someone becomes a new distributor, which MA cynically calls "UnFranchise owners," they have to recruit at least six more people, in order to get commissions on what that new distributor foists on the public.

But wait - there's more! New distributors are required to attend "training sessions," so they learn the proper way to present MA's "unique products which are not carried in stores." Those sessions cost between $200 - $300, and the new distributor has to attend a certain number of them, "so they can move up in the organization." Distributors are also required to attend a certain number of sales conventions, in places like Miami, San Antonio, and Greensboro. There is a charge of ~$395 to attend, plus the cost of transportation, hotel room and meals. MA doesn't pay for anything - those ~~schmucks~~ distributors are independent contractors, after all.

MA distributors sign an agreement that they will not sell any products on eBay. First, MA does not want anything sold at less than their retail price, and there is not an opportunity to turn a customer into a distributor in the pyramid. Distributors are warned of dire legal action if they sell anything on eBay, and don't forget MA has a legal team which will make the 10 plagues look like an inconvenience.

Market America - Where's The Seal?

2012-05-09T03:08:00.000-04:00

Part one is here. Part two is here.

click to enlarge

This is a bottle of Costco vitamins with minerals. It costs $15.49 for a 500-day supply, which includes shipping and handling for those who want it mailed.

More importantly, it carries the USP seal.

click to enlarge

This is a bottle of Market America vitamins with minerals. It costs $54.00 for a 90-day supply. It does not carry the USP seal.

Why does MA refuse to submit their products for testing?

Some MA salespeople have told me the products are not submitted for testing, "because they cannot afford the costs."

MA mark-ups are like inkjet cartridges. The ink inside a cartridge has a wholesale cost of about 25¢. The cost to the public is about $8,000 per gallon. Both buy their products from a contract manufacturer.

MA is a cult of grifters.

Market America? Market Artifice

2012-03-29T07:20:00.001-04:00

Classic Pyramid Scheme

Where's the Seal? is here. Threat or Menace? is here.

BusinessWeek did an exposé on Market America, calling it “the latest and most sophisticated incarnation of multilevel marketing, that controversial business model.” In the article's comments, one reader (second from the top) put it succinctly: “So, it says in 2006, $79 million was paid out to UnFranchise Owners, (more or less) correct? So, taking the conservative 100K owners, that is $79,000,000/100,000 = $790 per owner? Is my math correct, Dave? Even being really generous, saying there is only 50K owners, that puts the payout at: $1,580 per owner, correct?”

That reader is correct. MA is a 21^st century incarnation of the traveling medicine show, with more sophisticated names for their varieties of snake oil, like "Isotonix."

I won’t keep you in suspense: those grifters extracted $12,900.00 from my wife before I found out, and went ballistic. Her “sponsor” and the rest are nothing more than white-collar criminals. They are adept at reading a person’s personality, and tailor their pitch to exploit “the get-rich-quick dreams of every red-blooded American,” as BusinessWeek plainly put it. Additionally, she went to numerous “training sessions,” for which she was charged $200 per session plus materials. She would come home and pour over their pamphlets and the rest, as if she was studying for the GMAT.

BusinessWeek explains that Market America “products, the most popular and profitable of which are the Isotonix line of nutritional supplements that sell for about $70 per 10-ounce bottle, are almost interchangeable with what you could find in your local CVS or Duane Reade for half the price.” Moreover, many can be bought at Costco for a fraction of the price. Here’s one example: MA sells fish oil capsules for $59.95 for 60. That bottle costs the distributor $44.00. Costco sells fish oil capsules at $8.00 for 400; that’s 2 ¢ per capsule, instead of $1.00.

MA’s most popular nostrum is OPC – 3. It sells for $29.95 for a 3.5 ounce bottle. Its primary ingredient is bicarbonate. Oral bicarbonate powder can be purchased through Google shopping: a 4-ounce bottle for $4.13.

MA sells multivitamins for $51.95 for a 90-day supply. Costco sells multivitamins for $15.49 for a 500-day supply, which includes shipping and handling for those who want it mailed. MA sells a calcium supplement, at $18.50 for a 90-day supply. Costco sells a calcium supplement, at $10.59 for a 250-day supply, including shipping and handling.

Those are just three representative examples. The only one who makes a living from a pyramid scheme, is the person who sits at the top. Additionally, MA is a cult. Anyone who questions their “sponsor,” or anyone else above them, is told of dire consequences, with the pitch tailored to the mark. This past Thanksgiving, my wife took me to see her "sponsor," and the sponsor's husband and daughter. They shook their hands and arms at me, and shouted and harangued me. I felt physically threatened.

Remember, few products today are sold door-to-door.

Puppy Bowl VII

2011-02-05T00:30:00.000-05:00

A personal appeal: please adopt from a shelter. A shelter I have volunteered at, gets 30,000 unwanted animals a year. Multiply that by the number of shelters in the country, and the magnitude of the tragedy is shown. Many are euthanized.

My cat and my dog were both adopted from shelters. Their love is unconditional.

Give someone a home today.

Michele Bachmann - Balloon Head

2011-01-25T22:25:00.000-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Therapy Miniature Horses

2010-12-19T09:20:00.000-05:00

I'm off to a photo shoot, so enjoy this video. I am active in therapy animals, and animal rights. When I was in the hospital several weeks ago with asthma, a woman brought around two Labradors who had been trained for therapy. In a violation of hospital rules, I let them jump into my bed.

Photoshoot pictures to follow, and then back to politics.

Black on Beck

2010-12-17T05:44:00.000-05:00

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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