This is the conclusion of this series for now — unless I think of something else and feel like bringing this back! I saved one of the BIGGEST changes for last!!

 I read pretty much exclusively literary fiction and classics with the occasional travelogue thrown in. Once in a while I would throw in a YA book if I had heard good things about it. I was not very adventurous in my genres either — it was almost always of the contemporary variety or historical fiction. It was rare that I picked up romance, fantasy or paranormal. Like maybe once.

The variety of books I read is crazy! I could go from reading a non-fiction book to a YA paranormal to a contemporary romance to a fantasy book. It’s amazing how blogging has expanded my tastes. I still have my favorite genres but I’m not afraid to read out of most genres these days. I don’t discriminate anymore. The biggest change is the fact that I read MOSTLY young adult fiction now which is such a departure from what I read pre June 2010. I love this fact because YA has really gotten me into all these genres. I still read adult fiction and non-fiction but it’s way less than before. I am trying to be a little bit more balanced because I miss reading things that aren’t YA.

Let’s Talk:

If you are a blogger — Have your tastes changed since you started blogging or have they stayed the same?   If you aren’t a blogger — How have your tastes changed throughout the years? Has reading book blogs changed your reading tastes? For everyone — what are your go to genres? Which genres will you not try?

Previous Before & After’s:

The Time In Between Two Books – 2/27
Being Up On New Releases — 3/6
Book Real Estate — 3/15
Re-reading — 3/20
Meeting Authors + Myths About Them — 3/27
The Number of Books Read Per Year — 4/5
Recommending Books — 4/10
Chunky Books —   4/17
Reactions To Books — 4/24
Having People To Talk Books With- 5/8
Knowledge of the Publishing Industry — 5/15

This week’s topic: Top Ten Favorite Covers Of Books I’ve Read

Things I learned about myself during this list:
1. This list would be pretty different if it were books on my TBR instead of just books I’ve READ. Some on this list WOULD make an overall covers list.
2. I pretty much have vastly different tastes as other people re: covers
3. I don’t really like faces on my covers or girls in pretty dresses (if it’s the MAIN focus of the cover)
4. I definitely like the small details and I really like simplicity.
5. I like when it ties into the book really well.

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell: I love the simplicity of this and I love the way the headphones are integrated into the title. Ah makes me want to reread it thinking of Eleanor & Park sitting there on the bus sharing music. (My review of Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell)

Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler: I just love how this ties into the story, love the simplicity, and I love the colors. (My review of Twenty Boy Summer by Sarah Ockler)

For Darkness  Shows The Stars by Diana Peterfreund: I just think this one is so pretty and is one of the few with a person on it that I LOVE LOVE LOVE. It’s breathtaking. (My review of For Darkness Shows The Stars by Diana Peterfreund)

OCD, The Dude, and Me by Laura Roedy Vaughn: The cover is what  made me check this one  out  and put it on my TBR and I just love the way the colors pop. (My review of OCD, The Dude, and Me by Laura Roedy Vaughn)

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi: This is one of these cases where I LOVE LOVE the  cover redesign wayyy better than the original cover (which was just a pretty girl  in a dress). I love all the intricate details of the eyes. I like Unravel Me’s cover just as much. (My review of Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi)

Wild Awake by Hilary T. Smith: I love everything about this cover — the colors, the girl, the city spread out beneath her and the brightness that catches your eye. (My Save the Date mini review of Wild Awake by Hilary T.Smith — full review to come soon)

Send Me A Sign by Tiffany Schmidt: I love how simple this one yet it ties in so lovely to the idea of signs and wishes and its’ just really pretty! (My review of Send Me A Sign by Tiffany Schmidt)

The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan: I just love the simplicity and the heart with the words that are in it. I think it fits well with the fact that the book is written in a series of dictionary entries. WORDS. YAY. Also love the white, black and red balance. (my review of The Lover’s Dictionary by David Levithan)

Bunheads by Sophie Flack: I don’t  know why I love this one so much. Maybe because it’s that delicate tutu ballet scene but when you read the book you see a much darker and grittier side to the prettiness. It’s just different and cute! (My review of Bunheads by Sophie Flack)

Eve by Anna Carey: I love how ominous this one is with the Golden Gate Bridge all decrepit and falling apart ahead of her. I also really like the color scheme. (My review of Eve by Anna Carey)

So tell me…do you like/dislike any of these covers? What makes YOU love a cover?? My tastes are all over the place!

Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum

(Amazon | Goodreads )
Rating: I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads
Date I Read it: August 2009

1. It’s historical fiction set during the Holocaust that tells the story of a German mother who does WHATEVER she has to do to protect her daughter and herself during the war and the daughter’s search to find out, in the present time, about her mom’s past when she finds a picture of her mother, herself as a baby and a Nazi soldier. Love the point of view of both mother and daughter and the fact that they ARE Germans because so often we never see that side.

2. One of the most powerful and best historical fiction books I’ve read. It shocked me, made my heart just shatter into a million pieces and ultimately made me cry. Definitely an emotionally hard, harrowing read but worth it. Absolutely haunting.

3. I loved the mother/daughter element to it as it is this story of the terrible things a mother will endure because of the selfless love and need to protect. Loved that the story was told from these dual point of views.

4. If you liked The Book Thief or historical fiction set during WWII I recommend this though I think this one was quite a bit harder to read concerning things of the Holocaust than The Book Thief. Definitely more intense and dark I think.

Favorite Quotes:

“Life is so often unfair and painful and love is hard to find and you have to take it whenever and wherever you can get it, no matter how brief it is or how it ends.”

“How could she tell him that we come to love those who save us?”

“”It’s like being in a sort of club, isn’t it? A bereavement club. You don’t choose to join it; it’s thrust upon you. And the members whose lives have been changed have more knowledge than those who aren’t in it, but the price of belonging is so terribly high.”

“She should have known this would happen even with him; she should have know better than to tell him the truth. She can never tell him what she started to say: that we come to love those who save us. For although Anna does believe this is true, the word that stuck in her throat was not save but shame.”

Have any of you read this one? Did you like it/not like it? Can you recommend any other historical fiction books that take place during this time period? I seem to always gravitate to it.

However, I have a hard time balancing the social media aspect of my blog sometimes. I want to be present. I want to talk and  get to know people. I want to be a part of the community. At this point, though,  I’m addicted to Twitter. I’m always refreshing it on my phone and always have Tweetdeck open on my computer. The result has been a plummeting level of productivity. Like, really really badly. I’m reading way less and being less efficient as I write  my blog posts. It’s become a problem that I’ve been trying to tackle.  I’ve started not really going on Twitter during the weekends and shutting down later at night as well as close Tweetdeck when I work on my blog posts. But I need to do more.

What is it that I am going to do to try and help myself get back to a good balance regarding social media?

I’m going on a social media diet for a week — so I guess sort of like a crash diet really?

For 1 week I will be limiting myself to 1 hour per day on Twitter — split however I choose. I’ll be keeping very close track of every single minute because they add up — I KNOW they do when I’m jumping on Twitter to refresh every 15-20 minutes and spend 5 minutes on there.

Why am I doing this/what do I hope to accomplish?

- Become more aware of the mindless Twitter refreshing and just how much time I’m really wasting (not talking about good conversation – just the refreshing and not talking or following drama that I don’t participate in.)

- To combat my Twitter refreshing tick on my phone

- To see how productive I can really be and hope that I’ll want that to be the norm.

- Remember that the world will probably not implode if I don’t answer right away or participate in every conversation.

- Get some “quiet” time — sometimes honestly having SO many opinions or seeing a lot of negativity really effects me and I need to step away.

- Ultimately I want to help myself to regain a good balance and realize how much time I waste and rather focus on quality conversation while I’m on Twitter.

Fears I have about doing this:

- That I will be so disconnected
- That I’ll miss out on good, fun conversations
- People will forget I exist
- That I’ll fail in the first day and forever be addicted to Twitter and my life will fall apart (I’m being REALLY dramatic here hah)

What do I plan to do during this week?

- get blog posts written for when I’ll be in BEA and maybe get further ahead
- do all the annoying behind the scenes things I hate doing (review archive updating, putting reviews on Goodreads, formatting old posts I still haven’t fixed from when I moved to WordPress in March 2012).  That was one of my bookish resolutions for this year so I need to get crackin’ on that!
- clean the house
- indulge in some of my other hobbies
- get ready for BEA!!
-  comment on blog posts!!
- Work on my super secret project that I referenced here.
- READ READ READ (that’s what always gets the short end of the stick because of my Twitter addiction…which is ironic because the only reason I’m on Twitter is because of my BOOK BLOG)

So what happens after the week?

Every day I plan on writing  just a paragraph each day of what I got done for the day, how I feel and what not and then I’ll take that and really evaluate and see how much more I got done and how my general mood is after the week.  I’m hoping that it will help me to realize I don’t need to be on as much and help strike a better balance in my social media usage for the blog. I know I’ll still probably be on a lot because I truly enjoy it but hopefully not as much!  I’ll probably end up sharing the results of my little experiment. I also will probably be evaluating the other areas where I mindlessly waste time on Twitter.

What about you guys? Do you find yourself addicted to social media? How do you strike a balance? All tips will be welcome! Also, feel free to join me!!

  However, I realize that I do some things that would make most book lovers cringe. I’m kind of not so nice to my books.

(Note: These things do NOT apply to borrowed books — so if you lend me a book I swear I take good care of it!)

I dog ear pages.

Shamelessly. I dog ear pages when I don’t have a bookmark or even a random scrap of paper (or am too lazy to grab something) so that I can find my page later. The majority of my dogearing happens when I read an AMAZING book with amazing quotes I want to copy in my quote notebook or passages I know I’ll want to remember so I can read over and over again (lots of swoony scenes). So the more dog ears = AHMAZING BOOK.

I read in the bathtub/pools/other bodies of water.

Reading in water (ESPECIALLY THE TUB)  is one of my favorite places to read however I realize it probably gives most of your heart palpitations to get your book close to water for fear of water damage. Not going to lie, when I read in the tub my book does sometimes get little drops of water on it. I’ve never DROPPED a book in the tub but I’ve certainly got a little water damage on my books from wet hands or a splash. Nothing extreme but I know some of you would grimace  as you look at the damage to the pages.

I eat & drink  while I read.

I know others do this too but I’m BAD because I’m not careful. I have this  tendency to drop things and forget to make sure my hands  are 100% food free before I turn the next page because I’m just so INTO THE BOOK. I let my dear friend Jen of the now defunct Makeshift Bookmark borrow Mara Dyer a long while ago and I remember warning her that I spilled food because  I was too into the book. I’m working on this one, I swear! Ain’t nobody got time to find a napkin when you are ending a really good page and need to get to the next one!

I have the tendency to throw my books around.

I throw my books (not very carefully) in my bags all the time — not really concerned if they get bent or what not. I throw them on the bed when I’m getting my pjs on to read in bed. I throw it in my car. I just THROW MY BOOKS around. I’m not gentle with them at all. As I was typing this I happened to look over and see the state of my current read that I had left on the couch and I had clearly thrown my bag on it. I kid you not, I did not pose this. I’m  just not very gentle — probably why I don’t buy really fragile or expensive things often. Go ahead, call out my book manhandling.

I open my books WIDE.

I know some people don’t enjoy cracking the spines on their books but I totally don’t care. I bend them sometimes so the front cover is actually touching when I’m reading a paperback because it fits better in my hand.

So are you appalled with my manhandling of my books?? On a scale of 1 to 5 how much did you cringe while reading my bad habits? Do you do any of these things also or are some of these things like really bad reader behavior??

Amazon| Goodreads |

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way swayed my opinion. Pinky swear!

Danielle just doesn’t fit in — not even at her alternative school that she attends — thanks to her social anxieties and her OCD. She navigates school friendless, crushing on the most popular in school from afar and laying down the sarcasm and brutally honest truth — especially in her school essays. These writings end up getting Danielle a trip to the school psychologist and spot in a Social Skills class. As she prepares for the school trip to London that she doesn’t want to go on and fulfills her requirements for her Social Skills class, she can feel the walls starting to come down and she’ll start to remember why they were put up in the first place.

OCD, The Dude, and Me was one of those books that genuinely surprised me as I had heard NOTHING about it when I read it. I’m not sure  that is going to be widely received and wildly popular but I think that it is going to be one of those gems for the people who really connect with it and appreciate something a little quirky that’s equally funny as it is poignant and heartbreaking. It charmed the pants right off me and was a very refreshing story in the contemporary YA genre.

The storytelling is definitely going to be a factor for your enjoyment, I think, but I personally LOVED IT. The whole book is told in a smattering of journal entries, essays for school, emails and letters. The main character, Danielle, definitely writes what comes to her mind and is even scolded for this informal, somewhat inappropriate style of writing of her assigned essays — though the teacher at her alternative school likes the overall ideas of what she writes. And, guys, Danielle is FUNNY. She says things that are just so honest and real and I laughed so often reading this book. Her comments are seriously just honest and entertaining– especially the comments she makes about the grades she’s given on her papers that her teacher critiques. She has a definite voice in everything she writes and I just loved it because sometimes it was so simply stated yet really profound. I could see other people not connecting with her which will also really determine how much you like this book –it’s very much character driven. I totally couldn’t get enough of her voice and the quirky yet brutally honest way she sees the world.

I can’t comment on the treatment of OCD because it’s not really something I feel confident as any sort of type of authority but Danielle’s OCD seems to really be triggered by an event that happened in her life which eventually comes out at the end. The OCD part didn’t seem as prominent in the way I thought it would and it manifested itself in different ways than I’m used to seeing or hearing about but I know OCDs are different for everybody. It FELT like it was handled rather sensitively but humorously and I found that to work for me. I really enjoyed watching her work through it all with her writing and the relationships she ends up making and the ones she already has that she really relies on — Daniel (aww!), the cute old British lady, her aunt,  etc.

My only thing I think is that honestly the relevance of The Big Lebowski in this book is going to be lost on a LOT of teens but was something I appreciated as a fan of the movie and as a 27 year old.

OCD, The Dude, and Me by Lauren Roedy Vaughn was definitely enjoyable, funny and unexpected. I recommend to somebody looking for something a little different and bursting with a lot of heart and pages of thought-provoking truths from a very quirky and memorable main character that really came to life. It’s definitely a character driven novel and I honestly know it’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea but it was certainly mine because it was just an absolute gem. I really wish it got a little bit more buzz amongst bloggers this year!

Let’s Talk: Have you read this one?? Heard of it? If you’ve read it, did you enjoy it? How did you think about how the big secret was revealed? I didn’t even guess. Did you like the format of this book with all the letters and emails and journals, etc.

 I had the vaguest notion of how books were published. People wrote them and then there were publishers who printed them? I really didn’t know much about the various publishers — I would see HarperCollins or Random House on a back of a book and not really pay attention to it. I just really knew NOTHING about the world of publishing. Books just magically appeared on shelves and I read them.

It’s insane how much I know of the industry now as a blogger (especially because I’m not also a writer). I could name tons of publishers, their imprints and a list of the some of their bigger titles and could definitely tell you the publisher of any recent book I’ve read in the past 3 years. I could even name agents and editors for some of my favorite books or ones that I’ve taken notice of.  I understand more the process of how a book goes from author to the shelves of your bookstore. I’m aware of sales going on and I pay attention to industry trends. It’s honestly AMAZING how much I’ve learned about the publishing industry not even setting out to learn about it — definitely makes me appreciate each and every beloved book even more. I do think in some ways that I wish I didn’t know SOME of the things I do because sometimes being a reader without knowledge of the industry is bliss but I wouldn’t trade everything I’ve learned. Not at all. It’s an industry I care about and definitely am glad to be a part of it.

Let’s Talk:

If you are a blogger — As a blogger do you feel like you know a lot more about the industry than you did before or have you stayed unaware of a lot things? Did you know a lot about the industry prior to blogging? What are some things you have learned that may have surprised you? Anything you wish you didn’t know?   If you aren’t a blogger — Do you feel like you know a lot about the industry? Do you prefer not to know or just never had an interest in it?

Previous Before & After’s:

The Time In Between Two Books – 2/27
Being Up On New Releases — 3/6
Book Real Estate — 3/15
Re-reading — 3/20
Meeting Authors + Myths About Them — 3/27
The Number of Books Read Per Year — 4/5
Recommending Books — 4/10
Chunky Books —   4/17
Reactions To Books — 4/24
Having People To Talk Books With- 5/8

This week’s topic: Top Ten Books That Deal With Tough Topics

On Sunday I did a post about why I read books dealing with loss/grief even though it may seem like I’m a glutton for punishment since it hits so close to home for me. I made a nice little graphic with those books on there and decided I didn’t want to overlap on this list.  Grief/loss of a parent is a personal tough subject to me and I’d love for you to check out that post and those books as most of those could probably have been added to this list here!

 Check out the extremely personal post I did about books dealing with loss/grief that totally would fit this topic but I tried not to overlap since the post was so recent!

1. Live Through This by Mindi Scott: This is without a doubt one of the hardest books I’ve read & it made me feel pretty uncomfortable — which I think is a good thing for a book to do. (My review of Live Through This).

2. Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson: I read this so long ago, way before I even knew what YA was, and this had remained one of the most important and powerful books I’ve ever read. Seriously. I want all teens — boys and girls — to read this.

3. Cut by Patricia McCormick: I read this randomly back in the day and I remember thinking how honest and heartbreaking this book was. Tough to read but really good!

4. Ballads of Suburbia by Stephanie Kuenhert: I didn’t know which keyword to give this one honestly because I don’t think “addiction” really encompasses all that it deals with. This one was so gritty and tough to read but I seriously thought it was amazing and haunting and brought ALL THE FEELS. This one also deals with cutting FYI and quite a few other issues. One of those “issuey” books that doesn’t feel like it is all HEY I AM TALKING ABOUT ISSUES. The story is just captivating. (My review of Ballads of Suburbia)

5. Crank by Ellen Hopkins: This one is told in verse and MAN is this hard to read. I think this one, compared to Ballads of Suburbia, definitely deals with the all consuming mind of addiction whereas Ballads is told a little more at a distance in a way making this one a little more intense for me. At least from what I remember because I read this so long ago.

6. Pretty Girl-13 by Liz Coley: This one was hard to read! It doesn’t deal with just kidnapping but more so the aftermath of it. I didn’t want to give too much away because I went into it not knowing too much but it definitely deals with some psychological issues related to the kidnapping. Intense read! (My review of Pretty Girl-13)

7. Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher: This is one of those I read before blogging and I just found it so tough to handle as the main character learns why this girl committed suicide as he has to listen to a recording that this girl has made for all the people she feels “contributed” to her decision. It was definitely a hard read and I found myself ANGRY at the girl and didn’t know how to handle THAT because shouldn’t I feel bad?? WHEW. Love a book that challenges.

8. By The Time You Read This I’ll Be Dead by Julie Ann Peters: This one definitely left me feeling unsettled from start to finish as you really got into the mind of a girl who really was determined to kill herself. (My review of By The Time You Read This I’ll Be Dead)

9. Between Shades of Grey by Ruta Sepytus: This is one of my favorite books ever. Even if you don’t like historical fiction I always recommend this one because WOW. It was so hard to read about what was happening under Stalin’s reign at the same time as the genocide happening in Germany under Hitler. I think it hit me harder because I honestly didn’t even KNOW about this. Just watching everything she has to go through broke my heart because I know it was real. (My review of Between Shades of Grey)

10. Breaking Beautiful by Jennifer Shaw Wolf: I won’t say this one was my favorite but I thought it was good and I devoured it very quickly because it was such a page turner! I haven’t read much dealing with an abuse in a relationship but I felt this was done well and did stick with me.  (My review of Breaking Beautiful)

So tell me…have you read any of this? What are some “tougher issues/subjects” books you think I should read? I’m always on the prowl to read more because I like being challenged and pushed out of my comfort zone and to be reminded of these issues others face.

Amazon| Goodreads | Twitter |

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way swayed my opinion. Pinky swear!

This book inspired this Beyond The Pages post about friendship!

Jo, Maddie, Skylar and Emma have been best friends since they met at summer camp when they were 10. They are now 17 and it’s been 3 years since they’ve all spent the summer together after their last summer as campers and they are reuniting for the weekend at their first camp reunion. They still call each other best friends but with their diminishing communication and the feel of growing apart they are all a little nervous about the weekend — especially when there are underlying secrets and unresolved things from that last summer.

I  thought this one was an okay to good read — I was so excited for it which makes it all the more sad that I didn’t LOVE it like I thought I would. There were some really great things about it and it did those things well but, overall, I just didn’t get that WOW I LOVE THIS BOOK feeling and I think most of it was a lack of connection to the characters which I’ll explain further later on. However, I really feel like younger teenage girls are going to LOVE this one and rightly so. I know I would have at that age but at 27 I was looking for a deeper connection with the characters because I could RELATE but I couldn’t CONNECT.

Five Summers by Una LaMarche is undeniably one of those reads that exudes that summertime feel and makes for a really excellent beach read. I had been complaining about the lack of camp settings in my post about 10 settings I’d like to see more of and Una LaMarche really made me feel the summer camp vibe and I loved it. I  think it really portrayed the fun of summer camp (though I never went to one that long) well.

The premise itself was great and what made this on my most anticipated reads list. Four girls meet at summer  camp and became best friends from the start are now back at their camp reunion three years later. They have grown and changed and there are secrets bubbling under the surface that threaten to change things even more for them. The story was interesting enough and had quite some realistic drama, albeit a bit predictable, and handled really well the way that friendships struggle with change and growing up. I thought that portrayal was so well done and hit very close to home when you feel like your friendship just doesn’t “fit” the right way anymore — like a shirt that shrunk just a wee bit from the dryer but you love it so much that you keep trying to wear it.

As much as I enjoyed the general story and there were moments when I was really into the girls’ story, I also found myself really bored and skimming through some parts as well as feeling like it was a little clunky in ways. Five Summers is the story of their reunion but it is also interspersed with many chapters that are memories from the various years of each summer that they were at camp from age 10-14. It really gave a lot of insight into why some of the things are the way they are now and I did enjoy seeing their friendship at its best. The story is also told in alternating perspectives, which I thought WAS essential to understand all the girls, but with that and the memories and the present day it was sometimes clunky and confusing going from present day Emma to 12 year old Jo to present day Maddie to present day Skylar to 13 year old Emma.

I think part of my problem with all of the alternating perspectives was that I never felt a distinct voice for any of them and they all just kind of blended in as one. I think this caused me to not really connect with the girls individually — they felt very much like surfacey characters to me and kind of cliche — the tomboy, the flirt, the bookish overachiever and then one who tried so hard to hide who she really was because she didn’t feel like she could fit in — and I wanted to think of them as more than that but it never really happened. As much as I didn’t feel like I connected with them individually I felt as though collectively as a group I connected because of the author’s great portrayal of the ups and downs of friendships and I was totally rooting for them to sort  things out.

A minor thing that really could have just been ME is that when the chapters switch from present day selves at 17 to their youngers selves  it was clearly indicated which summer it was and whose perspective but I found myself having a hard time remembering and I think it was because the voice didn’t really ever felt like it changed from their 17 year old self to their pre-teen selves (I though the 10 year old chapter was fine). I kept thinking, “Would a 12 year old talk like this?” “Am I really just so far removed from being that age that I can’t remember what I talked about and how I talked?” Regardless of that, I just felt like the voice just really stayed the same throughout and just seemed off to me personally.

Definitely got a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants feel from this book! Five Summers was an enjoyable read about friendship and growing up and I was smitten with the summer camp setting but unfortunately this just lacked something for me to be super excited about it. It was only an okay read for me because I never really connected with the girls individually as they sort of all blended into one voice-wise. I just never felt much on a deeper level like I should have though I related a lot to the ups and downs of figuring out where you fit when friendships evolve and change. Not really the MUST READ I thought it was going to be but I know it’s the breezy, cute read dealing with normal teenage things that a lot of people will enjoy if they find themselves connecting to the girls. I plan to recommend it to my 16 year old niece.

Let’s Talk: Have you read this one?? Heard of it? If you’ve read it, did you enjoy it? What are some other books you’ve read that are about friendship?

I recently made a Top Ten Tuesday list in which I talked about the 10 words/topics that will automatically pick up a book. Grief was on that list. I am ridiculously called to books that deal with grief as a teen — specifically of losing a parent. I can’t help it. Sometimes you have to read what you know. Sometimes it feels like I’m a glutton for punishment as I weep along with the book and my heart just decides to replay my own story over and over again. But sometimes it is amazingly healing. No matter what, I’m always a sobby mess.

I think the thing that fascinates me about YA books dealing with the loss of a parent in its many stages, besides the obvious that I relate all to well to it, is that at that age nobody really thinks about death or dying; especially not in relation to a parent. Your parents are the people who are the pain in your ass but are always there taking care of you. You don’t ever expect to see them revert back to a child because cancer is eating away at their brain. You don’t ever expect that they won’t be standing over you nagging someday. They aren’t supposed to go anywhere as much as sometimes you feel like you DO want them to just leave you alone. As much as people say that teens think they are invincible, which is true a lot of the times, I also think we don’t ever see our parents dying until they are old and grey. We think they are invincible.

And that’s why I treated my relationship with my mom the way I did. As a child she was my mom and I adored her. In middle school, I got frustrated with her for normal reasons and felt “embarrassed” but I also had complicated feelings because she was moving us four hours away from our dad (they had been divorced since I was 5). In high school, we had a really, really awful relationship. Hate was thrown out on both sides. Lots of screaming. Lots of fighting. I saw her as the enemy. I even moved out for a month because it got so bad. December 2003, my senior year in high school, was when my mom got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. They gave her 6 months to live. She lived until July 2nd of 2006. Those years were excruciating to watch her slowly die but also to deal with all of the anger and hurt from our relationship. Luckily, by the time she passed away, I really forgave her and started to understand her but it was hard.

I was 18 and all I knew was that my mom was going to die. It wasn’t “maybe someday when she was old and grey” but it was soon. And in my brain I couldn’t comprehend this. You always hear that people become best friends with their moms when they get older. It wasn’t fair. I wouldn’t get to do that. I would never get to understand my mom. If I would have known that THAT stage of my life would never get to happen maybe I would have treated her differently when I was growing up. Maybe I would have tried to learn from her, listen to her, love her, try to understand her. I think that is the hardest part of dealing with my mom’s death today — that I will never get that part of the mother/daughter relationship. I will NEVER get to be best friends with my mom. She was the superhero mom to me as a child — I experienced that nurturing. I had the fighting and slamming doors and I HATE YOU’S of a teen & their mom. But I never will get what happens when you get in your twenties and start to realize all the things your mom did and said were right; albeit sometimes misguided. When you become less selfish and start to appreciate her. The thing is I’ve realized all those things…I just can’t tell her that.

When you are 18 you never think that your mom won’t be there on your wedding day. Going through that this past August was definitely the biggest life moment where I really felt my mom’s absence. I tried to include her memory in small ways — roses on the alter and mirroring a picture I did after a really beautiful portrait of her staring out the window on her own wedding day. You never think that your parents won’t be there for your college graduation or to help you figure out what to do when your career isn’t going how you thought it would. You never, at 18, even imagine that your mom will never get to hold your child. I haven’t been through this but I felt this very strongly when my sister had Genevieve.

So why do I turn to books that deal with grief?

Because I feel like I’m not alone. They bring up things that help me work through it in ways I never could have thought without the stories these authors bring to life that make me deal with it from afar…yet so intimately. They help me to process things that I could not process as a scared 18 year old girl who part hated and part desperately loved her mother. I’ve come to be able to put these things into words and to use my experiences to be an ear for others going through the same thing that I went through. I’ve been able to talk to teens in my life and try to give them perspective about their moms.

And mostly reading YA that deal with this helps me to continue to work through it in a healthy way and to remember to not take forgranted other people in my life who I’m not guaranteed another day with. I don’t want to sit back and think I’ll have all the time in the world to have the most fulfilling relationships I can possibly have with them. I don’t think in somedays anymore. I think of now.

Now let’s get into some book recommendations — to, ya know, bring this back to books! These are books that deal with grief or a loss in different stages and different ways.

The obvious loss related to Mother’s Day will always be there but it is also a day to remember her, to celebrate a wonderful stepmom (and now also a mother-in-law) and to celebrate my sister who has proven already to be an amazing mom to Genevieve. There is a lot of good to this day. I’m happy to be feeling that way just by thinking about it a little differently even if that just means celebrating the people who are mom’s in my life or donating to a woman’s shelter. My mom might not be here with me but I know these things honor her memory.

Tell me about your mom! What are some of your favorite books about mothers and daughters or about grief? Are there any topics in books that you seek out because you relate all too well to it?

I’m a pretty open person and I’ve certainly shared a lot about my life here on the blog and elsewhere on Twitter but I’ve put off this idea I’ve had for a while because it scares me. What idea you ask? Well, it’s nothing huge but, as I read, I often want to have conversations with people because books make me think, they bring up things from my past that I want to reflect upon and they really just connect us. Some of my best conversations have happened privately because of books and talking about our shared experiences. Sometimes I’ve thrown in a few sentences in a review but I feel like I don’t want to make my review becomes this huge paragraph of my personal life. But I SO want to give myself the opportunity to share a bit of myself with you (things from my past, random musings, things I’m facing now) when these things come up in books and maybe perhaps learn a little bit about you if you’ll allow? So that’s just what my Beyond the Pages segment is going to be — random things from books that I connected with and want to share. Nothing fancypants. I’ll admit I’m scared though to talk about some of these things that I know I’m going to talk about which could range from my greatest fears, how I was in college, losing my mom or maybe we’ll swap dating stories and the craziest thing I ever did.

This one is not going to be NEARLY as serious and MEANING OF LIFE as my first Beyond the Pages post but it was something I was thinking about during my latest read.

The book that inspired this conversation:

Friendship is really the main focus of this book. These 4 girls have been besties at summer camp since they year they met when they were 10. They are now 17 and haven’t seen each other in 3 years since their last year of summer camp and in those years their friendships have really changed as they get older and go in different directions — for many reasons. When they come to their weekend camp reunion they all know it isn’t going to be like it always was because of how their friendship seems to fit differently but nobody really wants to admit it or address it.

It got me thinking a lot about friendship. It’s something that I’ve really struggled with in my life — especially RIGHT NOW . I’ve always had a lot of FRIENDS (mostly guys tbh) and acquaintances.  I’ve struggled to FIND the bff-ness that so many other people have, to keep it when we start to grow apart, to know when to let it go when it needs to. I struggle now, as a 27 year old married lady, because I feel like I have no close friends around here anymore. We all are in such different places in our lives and have grown out of the friendships in some case. And it’s so damn hard to let all that HISTORY go.

Let’s chronicle my friendships ok? I’m talking about BFF-type friends.

Childhood: Had my best friend Missy. Played at her house nearly every day.
Middle School (6-7th grade): Dropped elementary friends because we were just changing.
8th grade – 9th grade: MOVED 4 hours away so basically NO FRIENDS in the begining. A girl in the neighborhood & I became friends mid way through the year and became quick BFFS. We seriously were so close. When I think of best friends I think of her. Nobody ever understood me the way she did, I never laughed as hard as I did with her, we had the most fun EVER, a zillion inside jokes and she was honestly the person who had my back.
High School: 10th grade our BFFness was still in tact but 11th grade and 12th were a STRUGGLE. I was making new friends and so was she and there were DEFINITE cracks and a lot of not nice things said as we slowly started to express this AWKWARD feeling of our lack of bffness. Ended up just really fading away…
College: Those friends (mostly a group of guys and like 2 girls) that I referenced above? Well, the one other girl of the group (we had been FRIENDS since late middle school but not besties) and I decided to be roomies in college because we had been SOOO close and agreed that we were in fact BEST FRIENDS. We were that way until our junior year when our other roommate and her got in a huge fight putting me in the middle. Just the beginning of our demise.
2008-2010: Still remained close with our group of friends but there was a huge strain between the bff and I that neither one of us addressed. A lot of things I heard said about me. Awkward attempts to try and pretend all is well.
2011 -2012: No Friends? Well, that’s not true. I got really close with a few girls through blogging when I started in 2010 and I don’t know what I would have done without these ladies during all the wedding planning and lack of bffness locally. REALLY CRAZY BAD TENSION between bff and the group of friends. BAD BAD BAD.
2013: The year I let go of this VERY long bff-ship because I knew it was better for me to let go — probably better for her too to stop pretending & making awkward attempts to fix. There has been so much that has gone on that I could never explain in this post but I just don’t think a fix is going to happen.

Writing all that out just makes me have such nostalgia. THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD MEMORIES. There are so many things I don’t understand about how people who know the deepest depths of each other’s souls can walk away from each other. I think of my college BFF and she was with me through everything with my mom being sick and when she passed and I just never thought anything could ever get between us. Ever. I just keep thinking “Where did it go wrong?” “Could I have fixed it?” I know that I had faults as a friend and that there were things that I contributed to but I just could have never fathomed not having my best friend that had been with me through good and bad from late middle school and our mid twenties. I also think maybe I didn’t try enough. I saw it happening and I let it. I could have addressed it and stop trying to pretend we could go back after certain things. I didn’t. We probably could have moved forward.

I think the biggest things I think about friendship right now are:

1. As I’ve gotten older it’s really hard for me to make friends. I can talk to anybody and be a friend but I’m talking about REALLY REALLY close friends but it is really hard for me to find that these days. The ease of making friends that I had when I was younger is not there. It’s part that at my age we are all in SO MANY DIFFERENT PLACES — married, with kids, married to their career, single, etc.  Plus, where do I meet them?? March around with a “bff wanted” sign? I’m out of practice I think. I also think after so many years of rough patches with friends and trust issues…I’m afraid. I know I am. I show it in the friendships I’m currently cultivating. I’m an open person but I get skiddish and back off sometimes because of the past.

2. That BFF-shaped hole in my heart aches sometimes: It’s true. There is nothing like having a best friend. There isn’t. I have a ton of VERY close friends right now that I LOVE like crazy but it’s different than your BEST FRIEND.  That person that acknowledges that you are their best friend. You know you can call them crying at 4am for a dumb reason, that they will go on random adventures with you, they will get your dumb jokes, that they will always try to cheer you up, call you out lovingly when you are wrong, finish your sentences, can read you like a book and know what is wrong with you before you do etc. There is no tip-toeing or second guessing with them. It’s just hard to explain…but if you’ve had a BEST FRIEND you know. I mean, yes, Will is my best friend but I need a lady sometimes.

3. It’s funny, though, throughout all of this I’ve realized my sister has always been my best friend: My sister and I were SOOO close when we were younger. It was just the two of us. We went through a reallyyy rough time during end of high school and college. That timing? When my mom got sick with cancer, passed away and then the aftermath. We’ve been through a lot. We screamed at each other and called each other the worst names in the world but the funny thing is that even in the times of “hate” if somebody wronged one of us our protective side came out and we always had each others back. We became best friends again the day she called me and told me she was pregnant with Genevieve. For the first time in a long time, I was the first to know something about her life. Every since that day we have been closer than we have ever been before. I call her when I need to cry, to vent, to admit something really stupid. I can be myself 100% and she knows the WORST things of me and the same with her and I never feel judged. There are very few relationships I’ve felt that kind of closeness with and I am so thankful we were able to salvage it. I’m extra thankful that I have my sister has my best friend and I hate that for so long I didn’t care about cultivating that.

This was really rambly, I know. But friendship is important and I’ve been thinking about it so much — the loss of it, the definition of it, the beginning stages of it, how to fix it when it’s broken, how to BE a better friend because I’ve been failing and how to open up again. It’s hard. It really is. As much of what I love to read features romances, I crave more friendship books because it’s so important to who we are. I was the girl who wasn’t friends with girls and I regret that. I valued guys more than I did my friends. I didn’t know how to handle friendships when things changed. I didn’t always know how to be a friend. But I do know now how much I really need REAL, close friends and how I miss it so much.

Tell me about your friendships! Do you have a bff? Have you experienced a “breakup” with a bff? Is it hard for you to make friends as you’ve gotten older? How do you deal with things when friendships start to change? What books do you love  that portray friendship? Let’s talk friendship!!

I feel like the ONLY blogger in the WORLD sometimes (dramatically exaggerating here) who does not care about certain things when it comes to buying books.

I do not inspect my books in any way before buying them.

In my almost 3 years of blogging I’ve had a lot of trips to the bookstore or signings with other bloggers and I picked up on this really quickly. Let me set the scene:

A blogger and I are browsing for books. We finally choose what we are going to buy. I grab the book off the shelf and I’m all. OK READY. I turn to look at the blogger and find all of the books off the shelf and she is inspecting it with a magnifying glass as if she is searching for fingerprints or evidence or something. Ok, maybe there were no magnifying glasses but you catch my drift.

Me: Wh-what are you doing? *looks around to see if people are staring*
Blogger: Just grabbing the book!
Me: But….you are literally touching like 10 of them. They are all the same.
Blogger: Yeah but I need to make sure the pages are not bent, that there are no thready things hanging, THAT NOBODY TOUCHED IT EVER.
Me:

Now, in no way do I think there is something wrong with this blogger, because I soon learned this is NORMAL BEHAVIOR and I am in fact OUT OF THE LOOP. But I truly had never thought about inspecting my books before I buy them until that day. A page might be bent? A crease might be on the cover? There are thready things that can hang off the pages?  Wrinkles on the pages?? Specks of things? I mean, if there was a huge rip in the cover or an obvious maiming to it I might pick the one behind it but I had NEVER SEEN THIS. Ever. Maybe it’s because I loooove used books and used to buy them a lot. I don’t know.

I do not care if my covers match in a series.

So ready for another story?? I was reading the Jessica Darling series and had just finished book 2. I realized that I was *GASP* missing book 3 but had book 4 & 5. I  tweeted a picture of this on my shelf and said, “DO WE SEE THE PROBLEM HERE?” and literally, I kid you not, almost every person said, “Yeah, your books don’t match.” NOT THE ANSWER I EXPECTED TO SEE.

It’s true. They didn’t match. I had never noticed it. I didn’t know this was a thing. All along my shelves are different covers in a series or a hardcover next to a paperback. I just buy the books when I see them! Especially if it’s on sale as in the case of the Jessica Darling series. This amuses me because I would consider myself a person who likes things to match (not annoying matchy match) in fashion and in decor. But books? I’m like ughhh?

So when all these cover re-packagings happen I sit in the corner only mourning if they made them fugly — not because now my series won’t match. (Although I will say I find the excess of the re-packagings rather irritating though it mostly doesn’t affect me). Would it be awesome if all my books in a series matched? SURE IT WOULD BE. Would I notice? Probably not!

Now before we get to talking just remember:

So I’m not judging your habits at the bookstore

What about you guys? Do you inspect your books?? (what do you look for?? Please tell me!!) Is it something you’ve always done? Do all your series have to match?? Are there any other “book OCDs” you have?  Is there anybody who honestly doesn’t care? I’m telling you…I feel like a pinky sparkly unicorn on this one because I have not come across a blogger (that I’ve gone to the bookstore with) that DOESN’T care. Come on, let’s not care together!

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I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way swayed my opinion. Pinky swear!

Cassie finds herself alone on the cusp of the 5th Wave of the alien apocalypse. The first waves were devastating by taking out the power, plaguing people with a terrible illness, and taking out entire parts of the US by floods. Her family is gone. She survives and trusts nobody because of the 4th Wave and the Silencers who look just like humans— until she meets a man Evan who takes her in and may be her only chance for survival and finding her brother.

I honestly was not sure about this book prior to picking it up. I had never read about ALIENS before but I’ve been apparently expanding my reading tastes lately (I mean, really, would have never thought I’d read about cyborgs and love it). I am always interested in apocalypse type novels so I was like alien apocalypse? LET’S DO THIS. I was scared about the hype and also intrigued (I mean, $750,000 marketing campaign??) but I really had no expectations for it so it really worked in my favor.

So, The 5th Wave was quite awesome. Really awesome, in fact. I won’t go and say it’s an all time favorite book but I REALLY enjoyed it & it’s up there pretty high for me this year! It was one of the most action-packed, exhilarating books I’ve read in while that left me on the edge of my seat and dying for the sequel. One of those reads where you sit down to read for an hour and suddenly you find it dark out and you are in a completely different position than you remember being hours later because you are THAT absorbed by it. Seriously, when did I move??

I really enjoyed the balance of the present action with the back story of the prior Waves and I was so intrigued by each wave and could just see it all happening in a very cinematic way — the fear of these approaching aliens and the electricity being cut off to the burying of your loved ones after watching a nasty disease take hold of them. I really love minimalistic, survival type books (and tv shows — Walking Dead, Revolution) so this really appealed to me as we watch the humans living like this and, by contrast, made me so intrigued by the high tech nature of these aliens. They definitely weren’t your E.T.-esque aliens but rather cunningly smart and way more advanced aliens. They made us look like chumps in this book. I felt like I was accusing everyone in this book of secretly being an alien.

The action scenes in this book were AWESOME. I could envision them and sometimes I had to remind myself that I was in fact NOT running from the aliens while carrying a big gun. The 5th Wave brought those quality blockbuster-like, heart-pounding moments where things were blowing up and shit was going down and I was jumping up and down in my seat saying, “RUN! RUN! RUN!” I even think my non-reader of a husband was at least a little intrigued at what I was reading and I KNOW if this was a movie he’d think it was pretty kickass. Because it was. The 5th Wave also ruined my recently polished nails with all the nail-biting I was doing as twists and turns surfaced — I totally predicted some things correctly but Yancey pulled out his magic bag of tricks and surprised me with other things.

Beyond the thrilling nature of this book and the intriguing alien-filled apocalyptic world, I really did feel like I got to know the main characters well and I could feel their dilemmas in this new world and their want to survive. The struggle between maintaining that mortality in a world that is so very different was palpable and I could feel that war waging within them when it came to make decisions for survival that crossed their previous moral boundaries. I really UNDERSTOOD Cassie the most in this aspect and I found her to be very strong. We see how she adapted but we still know that her heart isn’t as hardened as could happen in this situation. My heart felt like it was shredding just having to watch Cassie experience trying to keep that morality that made her human but also fighting like hell to survive.

There were things that kept it from reaching my ALL TIME FAVES status. I don’t want to go into too much detail but I really didn’t like a  romance presented during this book. It could have been more interesting maybe as a friendship and I kind of saw it coming. At times,  I cut it slack because I thought,  “WELL, if I’d been on my own for a while I might crave another human intensely.” But it kind of distracted me and I thought for as smart as she was she let her guard down so easily there. The other thing I had a hard time with was sometimes I could not figure out how much time had elapsed and sometimes couldn’t figure out if it was months that had gone by between certain things or days. I also found there to be some coincidences — especially that, when all these people have died and scattered, she meets up with a CERTAIN person. But the romantic in me was also happy about this because HEY IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD! SECOND CHANCES YAY!

The 5th Wave was overall an awesome book and a fabulous start to a series I cannot wait to really get into. I never would have thought an alien apocalyptic story would garner such love from me  but this was not only a thrilling and all-consuming reading experience but I loved how it really explored morality and the courage to survive amidst a collapsing world shown through characters I grew to love and understand. And it was well written to boot! This will be one I will be buying for  both my nephews AND my niece and recommending to people who would probably never pick this up on their own. Hell, it would be one book I might make the husband read. I have no doubt this is going to be the next big series that my friends outside of the bookish world will be reading when it catches on. I’ve already put it on their radars for sure!

 Recommends To People Who Like: Survival stories, science fiction, apocalypse stories with science fiction elements, The Walking Dead, aliens, action-packed books that don’t skimp also on good writing, strong characters

Let’s Talk: Have you read this one??  Heard of it?  If you’ve read it, did you enjoy it? Was it worth all the hype?

 I’d finish a book and literally had nobody to talk to and all my thoughts would just stay put in my heart with nowhere to go. I had one friend who was a reader but we read vastly different things so our recommendations would just go in one ear and out the other to each other. We’d politely listen to each other talk about our reads but just because we both loved books. There was no squeeing and excitement and FREAKING OUT!  I didn’t have anyone I trusted to give me a recommendation so I mostly just got them from magazines or displays at the store. Mostly I just browsed.

When am I NOT talking about books or flail or rage or SQUEEE?? I can pop on Twitter and instantly talk about a book I was reading or write a review and share my thoughts and people will TALK BACK ABOUT IT — and on a personal level also. It’s honestly incredible to have so many people to digest these books with. It’s even more amazing to now get PERSONALIZED recommendations from people who know what I like in books. I’m never without a recommendation. Though sometimes I kind of miss just browsing without any particular recommendations in mind (but honestly it’s so amazing to be at a bookstore and be like TWITTER WHAT DO I NEED TO BUY??)

Let’s Talk:

If you are a blogger — Did you have people to talk books with before blogging? Anybody with similar tastes? Where did you get your recommendations from prior to blogging?  If you aren’t a blogger —  Who do you talk books with? Where do you get your recommendations from?

Previous Before & After’s:

The Time In Between Two Books – 2/27
Being Up On New Releases — 3/6
Book Real Estate — 3/15
Re-reading — 3/20
Meeting Authors + Myths About Them — 3/27
The Number of Books Read Per Year — 4/5
Recommending Books — 4/10
Chunky Books —   4/17
Reactions To Books — 4/24

This week’s topic: Top Ten Books When You Want Something Light & Fun

I realized, in looking through all the books I’ve read, that I read a lot of dark books apparently. I do think  I’ve gained a better balance lately in the past year or so with reading some light and fun ones to break up some of the heavier ones.  I did notice even in some of my “light and fun” picks they are still dealing with a semi serious life issue but the general feel is more light and fun.  Another interesting thing? Most of my light and fun picks are more romance-y.

1. The Statistical Probability Of Love At First Sight by Jennifer E.Smith: This was so cute & romantic and I read it in one day.

2. Audrey, Wait! by Robin Benway: This was one of the most  fun books I’ve ever read — it made me laugh in a way that only Jessica Daring has succeeded.  Definitely a fun one  when you need something light and cute!

3. Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins:  There  is some serious in  the book but overall  the feel is light and fun and romantic. Not complete fluff but it’s definitely one I reread when I need a pick-me-up.

4. Also Known  As by Robin Benway: What is more fun than a teenage spy! I could not stop smirking while reading this one. It made for a perfect gym read besides the fact I looked psychotic all smiley on the treadmill.

5. How My Summer Went Up In Flames by Jennifer Salvato Doktorski: I  LIKED this one but didn’t love it but it was still something that was incredibly light and fun that I would recommend to people. Especially if you like road trip books. Despite some of my problems I can’t deny how absolutely fun this book was!

6. Going Vintage by Lindsey Leavitt: This was really sweet and fun and I read it in between two heavier books  and it was  PERFECT. Made me smile and I loved  the family aspect of this one!

7. All I Need by Susane Colasanti: This honestly was just a good read for me — not great — but it was light and fun and I wouldn’t hesitate to someone looking for something light and romancey even with some things that might be bothersome about it. It was one of the more lighter and fun reads I’ve read recently.

8. Over You by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus: This one was really fun as a honeymoon read and it was perfect because I needed something just fun and light. There are things about this one that I had to suspend my disbelief but it was just FUN and I didn’t need to think  much of.

9. Wanderlove by Kirsten Hubbard: This is one of my favorite YA contemporaries and I think  that it has a lot of depth compared to the rest of the ones I’ve listed but it still is really fun and light. Definitely makes you think a bit but still not super heavy.

10.  Ten Things We Did  (and Probably Shouldn’t Have) by Sarah Mlynowski: This was FUN. A pretty outlandish plot, I’ll be honest, and my belief had to be suspended a few times but this was pretty light and fun despite some issues dealt with. The MC will irritate you and make you want to be like GIRL WISE UP! but I really enjoyed this one.

So tell me…what are some books you would recommend when I need something  light and fun?? I honestly never read many light and fun books before the past year or so.

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I bought this with my own cash money!

When Taylor was eleven she was abandoned by her mother who always seemed to really struggle in life. A woman finds her and enrolls her in a boarding school where she lives but one day, when Taylor is 14, she tries to go find her mother and meets Jonah Griggs on her way. They embark on the journey together, despite all of these kidnappings happening nearby, until someone shows up to bring Taylor back to school out of the blue. Now Taylor is a year 12 and she’s been passed down the torch to be the leader of the school’s secret underground society that deals with the territory wars between the neighboring Townies and the Cadets (led by none other than Jonah). When Hannah, the woman who had been sort of taking care of her, disappears Taylor struggles to deal with the pressure of the territory wars as well as trying to figure out where Hannah went and why she would leave her.

WOW.  This is one of those situations where I felt like I was the last person to read this book after SO many people I trust said IT IS A YOU BOOK.  The only three things I knew about this book? That it was from a beloved Aussie author, that all people I trust implicitly said it was AMAZING and an all time favorite and that it was going to be a slow start but I should stick with it. I didn’t even know what it  was ABOUT. I just bought it blindly years ago because of the incredible love it was getting.

Jellicoe Road was devastatingly beautiful but it definitely was a little bit of a slow burn like everyone says. You aren’t hooked right away but, if you are like me, by the end you find yourself with a steady stream of tears falling for the last 30-40 minutes of reading it without realizing you are really crying.  On the surface, as you begin reading, it’s hard to see how this is all going to come together as it seems liked it was just this story of these kids in boarding school and their silly territory wars with the Cadets and the Townies. I was definitely intrigued from the beginning, I mean the first sentence of this book is WOW, but I definitely didn’t FEEL anything and felt confused as I patiently waded through some of it. I felt confused as it switched from this part in italics and then Taylor’s part and I kept not remember who characters were but then it slowly comes together and I understood what was going on with the italicized parts.

The thing is even though I didn’t really connect at first I was intrigued, as I said before, but I could just FEEL like something was bubbling under the surface to really bring this together. It was a lot like those rides at amusement parks where you ascend slowly to the top of this tower and then you wait and wait and wait and then you get to the top and you are just dangling there knowing you are going to be dropped at any moment and the anticipation in your gut feels like it could kill you. That’s what reading this felt like — I knew eventually the bottom was going to drop out and my emotions were just going to be in freefall and out of control….it was just the wait that put my stomach into knots.

The mystery and the two stories came together in an amazingly crafted and heartwrenching way. It was a double slaying as we started to put the pieces together because I felt like I was always one to two steps ahead of Taylor in putting the pieces together (but kind of sidestepping and unsure) and it a swift punch to the gut but then when I had to watch Taylor find out the things that I already put together it completely annihilated me and finished me off. My heart felt like a demolition site — the wrecking ball and the dynamite just leveling me completely.

This book really was such a me book. There was such emotion and heart. The writing was beautiful and haunting. I connected to the characters and I just can’t stop thinking about them. A swoonworthy boy! An interesting story that is so layered and perfectly plotted! All these things just came together so amazingly and just felt like one of those perfectly constructed stories for me — the heart and emotion and the friendship and the love just making me FEEL SO MANY THINGS.

Jellicoe Road is a new favorite for sure and now I must get my hands on every Melina Marchetta book ever. I wasn’t sure if it would live up to the hype but it did that and more as I was reading it before I even realized it. My husband had to point out that I was crying consistently in the end of the book. My emotions just forced themselves out but I was too absorbed in the story to notice. It was just so amazing that I feel like I never want to read another book again but at the same time I just want to devour every story ever just to feel like this again.

Let’s Talk: Have you read this one??  If you’ve read it, did you enjoy it? Did you find it slow in the beginning or were you fine? ALSO, did you put the pieces together before Taylor? Which Melina Marchetta book should I read next??

Throwing A Themed Book Club Meeting For The Program!

So we went with a themed drink for book club — an adult beverage as we are an adult book club. In The Program, when you try to commit suicide or get flagged for have the “symptoms”, you are taking to the Program and your memory is wiped away. The drink I thought of immediately for that? The Mind Eraser! Let me tell you, book club didn’t need much of this concoction to see how this was aptly named The Mind Eraser.  We are a responsible book club (people had to drive home!)so we didn’t allow ourselves to experience the full mind erasing qualities of this beverage but I think my husband saw the effects of it starting to take place when he came home from the gym. His words not mine: “Book club seemed really fun tonight. I would almost maybe join.” I think our neighbors seriously might hate us now because we were LOUD.

There were a few recipes for The Mind Eraser (one was a yummy sounding shot with melon liquor)  but this is what we picked:

Themed  Snacks

We had jelly beans & Skittles in the color of all the pills in The Program!

We  loved the memories Sloane had with her dad getting ice cream  (and we love ice cream) so naturally we ate some yummy cookies & cream ice cream!

Realm was always eating pretzel sticks in The Program so we HAD pair those with some YUMMY cookie butter from Trader Joe’s! BUT we couldn’t stop there so we played some Bullshit before book club started and with pretzel sticks always comes fake cigarettes!

Bullshit & Pretzels! The Mind Erasers COULD be kicking in!

More drinks!

Book club or booze club? You decide!

Our discussion:

- We all either LIKED it or LOVED it. Betty had just read the book SLATED and found a lot of similarities to that book and The Program so it was hard for her not to compare them.
- We all thought this book brought THE FEELS…especially as you got further and further on. We loved that it seemed like this Program couldn’t erase your natural tendencies!
- We all agreed that it was a complete page-turner until the very end!
- REALM = BOOOOOO. JAMES = YAYYYY. Although, a certain someone in the group DID disagree. SHOCKING.
- We are all very curious about HOW society got to be to this point and HOW something like The Program actually is allowed? Why is it mostly teens? We are hoping these questions are  answered in book 2 now that we are so completely invested in these characters.
- THE ENDING. We had so many theories. I don’t want to get into spoilers here but YAH. We thought the ending was a homerun and left us drooling for book 2!

The Giveaway For You!

What can you win?

A chance to host your own Book Club with some of your friends – enter for your chance to win five (5) copies of The Program and a $50 Visa gift card! If you don’t have a book club, I have some tips on how to start a book club!

Prizing provided by Simon & Schuster

Giveaway open to US addresses only

a Rafflecopter giveaway

About The Program

Sloane knows better than to cry in front of anyone. With suicide now an international epidemic, one outburst could land her in The Program, the only proven course of treatment. Sloane’s parents have already lost one child; Sloane knows they’ll do anything to keep her alive. She also knows that everyone who’s been through The Program returns as a blank slate. Because their depression is gone—but so are their memories.

Under constant surveillance at home and at school, Sloane puts on a brave face and keeps her feelings buried as deep as she can. The only person Sloane can be herself with is James. He’s promised to keep them both safe and out of treatment, and Sloane knows their love is strong enough to withstand anything. But despite the promises they made to each other, it’s getting harder to hide the truth. They are both growing weaker. Depression is setting in. And The Program is coming for them.

About the author

Suzanne Young currently lives in Tempe, Arizona, where she teaches high school English. When not writing obsessively, Suzanne can be found searching her own tragic memories for inspiration. She is the author of several books for teens, including The Program, A Need So Beautiful, and A Want So Wicked.

Find out more

Learn more about The Program

Visit Suzanne Young’s Official Site

Follow Suzanne Young on Twitter

Amazon| Goodreads | Twitter |

I received this from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. This in no way swayed my opinion. Pinky swear!

Every summer Skye hopes to find the boy that will sweep her off her feet during her time at her beach house. When she meets Seth, a guy she has never seen before, at the last party of the summer it’s evident that they both feel this incredible connection to each other. Seth doesn’t show up when they are supposed to meet before they both go back to school for the year and Skye is left wondering why he never showed up, if she was just the only one feeling the connection and, if they COULD find each other again, would that spark still be there.

This was one of those breezy, romantic books that I need once in a while; despite some things that bothered me which I’ll address later. It wasn’t a favorite by any means, it didn’t blow my mind or really stick with me but it’s the kind of feel good story that makes a perfect beach read. It’s light, sweet and very much captures the essence of summer romances and the ups and downs of starting a relationship and really getting into the nitty gritty of getting to know each other. It’s like those rom coms that I always watch wherein I predict most of what happens and don’t really walk away feeling CHANGED but I have that ooey-gooey “YAY love!” feeling in my heart. Sometimes you just NEED THAT, ok! Or I do. I am a former closet romantic — for years I hate-watched chick flicks and my college roommate was appalled that I didn’t squeal watching Sweet Home Alabama with her. I secretly did. SHHH.

The romance in All I Need by Susane Colasanti falls under the realm of insta-love so if that bothers you, you have been warned. I do feel like summer romances is my favorite place to let insta-love shine because it really is how summer romances typically are in real life (experience speaking here!) — they are a whirlwind and you everything speeds up because you know you only have the summer. I loved that Susane showed that whirlwind aspect of it despite sometimes the intense feelings were eyerolly at times because it went from crush to soulmate feelings very fast. I personally would have liked it a little better if the “OMG HE/SHE is the ONE!!” factor would have just been turned down a smidgen. I get whirlwind but the intensity of the feelings to me seemed a little forced.

I really liked how the story ventured outside the summer as well and dealt with life AFTER a summer romance and the troubles of their relationship. It showed that period of time when the honeymoon period is over and you start to really SEE that person — their flaws, their dreams, what they want in life, etc. I thought it portrayed that period really well and I enjoyed seeing them struggle and triumph in trying to define and figure out their relationship.  HOWEVER, the book takes place in a span of 3 years so things feel a little clipped sometimes and the time shifts just were sometimes jarring how they would jump suddenly and I just didn’t feel really connected to it.

This was a quick & fun read that I thought was good — not amazing though. Just a solidly light, cute read that would be perfect on the beach or when you are craving something that reminds you of those feel good, romantic chick flicks. I didn’t particularly love the characters or felt it stood out but I did enjoy reading it and thought that the insta-love summer romance was fun but a little TOO “omg he/she is the one” so soon. It did coax a few “awwwws” out of me during the cute, romantic parts.  It’s my first Susane Colasanti novel and I will probably be checking out her other stuff when I’m needing a cute romance that really embodies what it is to be young and in love — in all its messy glory!

Let’s Talk: Have you read this one?? Heard of it? If you’ve read it, did you enjoy it? Have you read any other Susane Colasanti novels? Since this is my first one which one do you recommend me trying next?

April In One Word

SUNSHINE!

5 Things That Happened In April:

1. Will and I found our new favorite brunch spot where we got red velvet pancakes and chicken & waffles eggs Benedict. I WILL TAKE YOU HERE IF YOU COME VISIT ME!
2. Found out if my sister was having a boy or a girl and….she’s having a girl!! Genevieve gets to be a big sis!
3. Our car got broken into — WOMP WOMP. I’m still really angry about it! I did some sleuthing but nothing panned out like I hoped.
4. I read outside A LOT. We had a week of 80 degree weather (followed by weeks of rain and 40 degree weather lol).
5. I had a really fun girl’s weekend that I REALLY need while Will was away! Nice to catch up with old friends & get to know new ones better.

6 Songs That Were Most Popular On My Ipod This Month:

I put all my Monthly Rewinds In a Spotify playlist so you can listen to them here now !

1. Half  Moon by Blind Pilot

2. Rainy Saturday by Hayden

3. Where Did You Go by White Woods

4. When I Can’t Sleep by Pascal Pinon (loooove this whole album. YAY ICELANDIC BANDS)

5. Goldrushed by The Royal Concept (Strangely I found this song because of Will playing FIFA so much. GOOD MUSIC ON THAT GAME)

6. Somebody by Jukebox the Ghost

Top 2 Books I Read This Month:

1. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
2. The 5th Wave by Rick Yancey (review to come!)

Most Popular Review This Month

No surprise with this one!!

Most Popular 5 Blog Posts Overall This Month

1. Beyond The Pages  — I got REAL personal here and you guys made me cry. I’m STILL responding to comments.
2. Jamie Gets Self  Conscious Sometimes – Talked about two ways I feel self conscious as a reader because of blogging.
3. Before & After #8 — Talking about CHUNKY books!
4. Top Ten Fictional Crushes in Books — no surprise here!!
5. Top Ten Books I Liked More/Less Than I Thought I Did — this one was sooo fun guys! Loved that some people came out of the woodwork for the LESS portion!!

3 New Obsessions In April

2 Things I’m Looking Forward To In May

Favorite Quote From A Book I Read In April

What sort of things were noteworthy for you in April? New obsessions? Any new song recs?? Best books you read this month? Great posts  I  missed on your blog? Tell me!

This week’s topic: Top Ten Words/Topics  That Make  Me  Instantly Pick A Book — it’s true. I have these trigger words/topics that make skip any of the rest of the summary if I catch wind of it. I CAN’T HELP IT.

Road Trip
Seriously, if there is any hit of a road trip I won’t even read the rest of the summary. I love a good road trip across country with the windows down and the music on. Road trips always equals shenanigans.

Paris
I can’t return to Paris anytime soon so anything that makes me relive the city, the accents and the French pastries and such makes me happy. Plus we know there is typically romance when it comes to Paris.

Grief
I’m a glutton for punishment apparently. I can’t help it but stories dealing with grief always call out to me — especially that of a MC losing a parent. They are always hard to deal with personally because a lot of things with my mom come surging back but they just always are a bit healing and validate some of the things I felt during that time when I felt crazy. It was grieving.

1920′s
I am fascinated with the 1920′s and any book that is set in the 20′s is a must for me — double bonus if it mentions flappers in the summary!

Parallel Lives

This is a new addition for me but all these upcoming releases I’ve seen SOO many parallel lives type stories and I KEEP ADDING THEM ALL. It’s always something that I was fascinated with as a child — what if there was another ME out there in a parallel world??

Summer Romance

Whatever. I’m a sucker for a summer romance what can I say! That is one time where you cannot deny insta-love! Summer romances are a whirlwind and they are fun and complicated and I LOVE THEM.

Music Themed
Anything that has a hint of a musical element in it is so up my alley as someone who feels so moved by music. I love talented YA characters playing music, I love playlists integrated into it, an MC who has a connection to music…ANYTHING.

Beach
I dream of plopping my butt on the beach all day long in the summer but unfortunately being an adult who has to work STINKS and does not allow for that every day so I’m always excited to read a book set at the beach!

Travel Abroad
Any hint of travel abroad makes me SO EXCITED. Like I say in my about me, I want to be everywhere I’m NOT and would love to be a nomadic wanderer all my life. I love travel stories because travel opens your eyes,  aids in self discovery and awareness of the world, there are always mishaps and adventures and it shows you what you are made of. Sometimes it kills me to be reading it and not experiencing it but WHATEVER. I want them all!

Offbeat
I don’t know but I have this penchant for things that are offbeat and quirky but in the real senses of the words. Sometimes quirky gets used in a way I don’t like but I love a lot of really offbeat and quirky films and other things so I snap those books right up though most of the time it just isn’t quite THERE for me.

Survival

I love any sort of survival story — the elements, the apocalypse, surviving a kidnapping, etc. I just love how fierce the human spirit is. I especially like those minimalistic worlds where people don’t have technology and such. Probably why I love The Walking Dead so much. I also love when they get to use swords. Is that weird? haha

“For Fans of Gayle Forman/Stephanie Perkins/John Green”

I can’t help it. When you namedrop some of my favorite authors I CANNOT HELP MYSELF. It also works if you compare it to a favorite book EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT IS A MARKETING PLOY BECAUSE IT NEVER COMPARES. I’ve gotten burned SO BAD but never learn. It’s not so bad when they namedrop an author but when they do it with the book it never works out well for me.

Gothic
Gothic mysteries, thrillers or romances. YEP. I wants. I love how creepy and dark they can be in atmosphere. I always compare them to Rebecca, which none seem to surpass, but I’ve found  a few good ones!

So tell me…do any of these words or topics make you pick up a book? What things are insta-buys for you when you see it on the summary or blurb?