Addictions

Self Medicating and Your Anxiety

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:37:00 +0000

x

Self Medicating and Your Anxiety

This article is going to talk about self medication with street
drugs. Let's first take a look at the street drugs that people
commonly use, specifically pot and alcohol. Marijuana is
commonly used by itself or in combination with alcohol. Pot can
give you a calming effect after it is inhaled. Depending on the
amount and strength it can also have the opposite effect on your
physical health. Increased respirations and heart rate can be
expected. Mentally, pot use can lead to psychological
dependence, paranoia, which in turn can lead to extreme levels
of anxiety. The whole idea of engaging in an illegal activity
can increase your anxiety and keep it there as long as you are
involved in this activity. Getting caught with dope, getting
arrested and jailed can increase your anxiety. Does this all
sound like common sense? Well yes it is, you don't need a PHD in
psychology to figure this out. Prolonged stress leads to anxiety
and it is inevitable it will happen. Think back to when you did
something you said you would never do. Likely you had feelings
of guilt, worry and that physical rush (pounding heart,
inability to concentrate, increased breathing), to conclude this
is another reason to stay away from street drugs, it just a poor
choice. See how long you can put your body and mind through this
and I can guarantee it won't be long before you are leading a
tough battle fighting anxiety not to mention the physical damage
you are putting your body through. Sure we always hear about how
safe pot is

and that it should be legalized, but for an anxiety
sufferer or someone dealing with mental health issues it's a
devastating choice. Now let's take a look at alcohol and your
mental health. In small amounts (1 drink per day) studies have
shown alcohol to be beneficial to your general health, but there
is a fine line and not everyone can drink alcohol on a daily
basis without having physical damage to your body or a
psychological problem in the form of an addiction. When first
consumed, alcohol acts like a mild stimulant. You may feel
euphoric and energetic. As we consume more our body cannot
process the alcohol as quickly as we consume it. As the amount
increases it begins to depress body systems which ultimately can
lead to coma and death. Long term use of alcohol damages organs
in the body, creates family issues, employment problems that can
lead to poor mental health. Without treating these addictions
you will never be able to control your anxiety. Alcohol will
make you depressed and lazy. It will make you make excuses for
your behavior. Alcohol use will hurt people you love but will
mask your guilt and shame. If you have an addiction get treated
for it. Stop making excuses and being in denial, you are only
putting off the inevitable, a long hard life of mental health
and physical problems. Written by Psychiatric Nurse Web
Publisher for the site www.anxietyhelponline.com December
20/2005

About the author:

Written by Psychiatric Nurse Web Publisher for the site
http://www.anxietyhelponline.com December 20/2005

Shatter!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:36:00 +0000

You can use this technique for many bad habits, but today we will concentrate on the bad habit of biting your fingernails.
Ready? Make a picture in your mind of YOU biting your fingernails.
NO, WAIT, change that! You know why? Because I don’t want you to *shatter* anyone, much less yourself, and that’s what we’re going to do. I want you to shatter the FEELING, not the person. So don’t put the person, *you*, in the picture. Your hands are OK, or any part of your body that you can see without looking at your reflection, just not YOU.
OK, let’s start over. In your mind, make a picture of your nails as you are almost ready to bite them -- in fact, they are on their way to your mouth. Put everything in that picture that evokes bad feelings. Broken, brittle fingernails, people staring at them, maybe a picture of your hands trying to pick something up, but your fingernails aren’t even long enough to help.
Pick out a picture of the worst thing you can think of happening to you. When you see that picture, do you have thoughts of hopelessness, self-recrimination, etc.? Or are you thinking “I’ll never stop biting my fingernails.” “I wish I had the willpower to stop.” “I’m so wishy-washy.” “I don’t have any self-control.” etc.?
Now that you feel really terrible, put that picture on a piece of glass *in your mind,* because that’s what you’re going to shatter. And remember, if you use all of your senses -- you hear, feel, smell, taste, see everything that pertains to that picture that says you ALWAYS bite your fingernails, your brain will be drawn to it. And we want your brain drawn to it before we shatter it.
OK, now. Look at the picture on the piece of glass until it evokes all those feelings mentioned above and you are REALLY feeling out of control -- you HAVE to bite that fingernail again, then . . . SHATTER it!
Now, bring

it back up, then SHATTER it! Bring it back up again, and immediately shatter it 6 more times.
Now, when you try to bring the picture back up, CAN YOU?
Most people can’t. Or if they do, it shatters automatically, or it’s faded. At any rate, it doesn’t have the same effect on you!
*** Sidebar When your brain is drawn to a picture, a picture you shatter again and again, it will have the same effect as a fingernail scratching a chalkboard. Your brain will not like it, and will not want to bring that picture back up again. If you can’t bring the picture up, you won’t have it to draw you to the old habit of biting your fingernails. *** End of sidebar
Now, after you’ve shattered your picture enough times and it doesn’t come up anymore, take some time to think good thoughts and visualize your fingernails nice and kept up beautifully.
Believe me, this works. So if the old feelings come back the next day, just SHATTER the picture 6 or more times. Pretty soon your brain will get the idea for good.
~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 2002, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
---------------------------------------------------------------

==> Do you have questions about relationships, addictions, stress, success, anxiety, fears, death, health, depression? Get answers online! Subscribe here! http://www.tameyourbrain.com/

==>Publishers, you are welcome to reprint this article in its entirety provided you retain the above resource box and include this notice, plus notify us of the day(s) you will be running it.

About the Author

Having problems? Learn how to use your mind -- online!
Jan Tincher, Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic
Programmer, teaches YOU unique NLP strategies and
techniques. Subscribe to FREE E-zine *Tame Your Brain!*
Click here! mailto:article.subscribe@tameyourbrain.com

Self-Recovery from Addiction ... Taking responsibility for your life.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:36:00 +0000

I've had several coaching clients come to me who, while they wanted to move forward in life, were actually stuck in a self-destructive addiction. Of course, I cannot directly confront them about their addictions, as they had to open up to me that it was part of the problem that was keeping them in the same rut in which they found themselves day-after-day. As we worked together to make plans and open doors, the addiction was left open for them to examine and realize that they needed to overcome the situation, and cut loose that anchor to move forward to a fulfilling life.

I'm not speaking of any particular addiction, as we all have one or two in our lives. However, for sake of discussion, the primary addictions that people fall to when they find that their lives are faltering are alcohol and drugs. Of course, these usually come into play once their addictions to depression and negative situations overtake their lives and they feel as though they have no where left to turn. But, as we peel away the negative situations and tend to the depression through medical assistance, they are better able to accept that now they must eliminate the substance addiction.

--- Abstinence or Control ---

Many commercials on television promote "responsible drinking". What exactly is "responsible drinking"? It is a relative view that places you to judge how much is enough. Yet, after your first drink, your judgment is impaired. As I've heard from many people, "one is too much and 12 are not enough." The best way to manage yourself responsibly is simply not to do it at all --- abstain.

--- Disease or Responsibility ---

The idea of addictions being a disease creates an uneasy feeling for me in that, for the most part, it is a choice and a responsibility as opposed to an illness. While I do agree that certain physical illnesses can cause people to turn to substance abuse, the abuse and addiction in and of itself are resulting actions and not diseases. It does seem that the disease concept has become popular because it is the nature of addicted people to dignify their conduct. The disease concept conceals the actual reason people abuse various substances while it discourages initiative and responsibility.

--- Involuntary Addiction ---

This area of "involuntary addiction" is the center of much controversy. Many people are addicted to medications at the hands of medical practitioners who do not monitor their patients, but instead simply ensure that their prescriptions maintain a certain response. Of course, many people do require long-term care; however, others only require assistance through medication for a short time.

One example is that of a woman I worked with some years ago who was terribly addicted to Valium, Paxil, and Prozac. She wanted to get off of everything. Of course, I could not counsel her on the medical aspects of her situation, but I did refer her to a medical acquaintance who could assist her. In the end, after six years of involuntary addiction, it took her two years to get back on her feet and lead a productive life. We did work through some situations to angle her life toward her new Vision, but it was her choice to alleviate herself of the medication and "give life a try." In essence, we were able to replace her physical addiction with a mental and emotional addiction --- a direction in life.

--- How did I become addicted? ---

Addiction is a natural function of the human body, based entirely upon the "pleasure principle" --- the tendency to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Addictive substances have the ability to disrupt the motivational hierarchy of needs by displacing other motives in life. They can also desensitize the ability of other, natural rewards to motivate behavior.

The addict usually places substance use as their top priority, while losing interest in life's other rewards. This desire to experience the effects of the addictive substance combined with the lack of interest in natural rewards is classified as a "loss of control." Essentially, the normal controls on the individual's life have lost their significance and behavior focuses on the acquisition and use of the addictive substance.

It's interesting to note that we can become addicted to situations as well as substances. For instance, some abused women come to feel a certain way about themselves in abusive situations. To ensure that this feeling remains, they seek out relationships that compound their feelings. Destructive indeed, but one that they feel is necessary.

--- How can I tell if I am addicted? ---

Determining addiction is complex in that it is based on many different signs for different types of addictions. But, the one definite, yet simplistic, indicator is that you keep going back even after you know that you don't want to do it again.

Those nights that you lay in bed with a massive hangover even after you swore that you'd never do it again. The morning you wake up and have no idea what you did the night before, again. The bruises and black eyes that you have from the fight with your mate, yet you return. Again, the simplest indicator is that you "keep coming back."

More complex indicators are physical and emotional changes as well as affects on your social presentation and associations. For instance, massive weight change, the "need" to have it or do it again, anger, loss of sleep, health problems, avoidance by certain social associations, or even being banned from establishments are important indicators.

/>

--- How can I achieve recovery? ---

Recovery is your choice. You must first choose to acknowledge its existence and then you must choose to do something about it. Acknowledge that you are not a victim and take the responsibility that you chose to enter into the addiction. By doing so, you are taking control to be able to take responsibility for choosing to not be addicted any longer.

Abstinence is the first step to recovery. Immediately stop what you're doing, whether it is through counseling, medical assistance, or simply ceasing your addictive actions. Of course, it is easier said than done.

One thing that we do in my coaching sessions is, once a client seeks assistance from qualified medical professionals, we immediately begin to replace the addictive situation with something else that is of benefit. For instance, many of those clients who are addicted to some substance or situation are because they don't know what else to do or need to move in a direction away from a current situation. With nothing else in life, they drink, use drugs, or continually place themselves back into situations that are consistent and provide the "comfort zones" that keep them in an arena that feels safe.

--- A replacement addiction? ---

While replacing one addiction with another does not sound appealing, indeed, it is a path that is essential to the success of recovery. For instance, while I may not agree with support groups, many people find them useful and a necessary part of life. Indeed, while these are a replacement addiction for the other addiction, they are not as harmful as the addiction that they replace. At the very least, such support groups are a reasonable replacement of the addiction until the person is strong enough to stand up against their previous addictions.

For many of my clients, they have found that by defining a plan for their life, instead of meandering to the point of getting lost and addicted to something else that is harmful, they are better able to cope with their recovery. With help from their medical professional, along with a life plan, they can remain focused and busy while working toward their Vision. In the process, their values change to the point that they no longer require a substance to give them the necessary feelings that they pursue.

One example was a young man whose father committed suicide. It threw him into a cycling depression where, at one moment he was fine and, over a period of months, he would be depressed again and have to work to recover from the depression. In the process, he turned to a serious alcohol addiction, which nearly disrupted his entire life. After focusing on the core depression and working with his doctor to stabilize his emotions, we worked together to find a way to piece together a new life. Indeed, with the loss of a family member, life does change, yet he was unable to cope with this change as he was caught in the life he had prior to the loss.

Realize that the addiction can take on a mind of its own and will eventually do anything to ensure that it gets what it wants. It can begin to define you. However, it is essential to turn that hunger into something else with a different focus and desire. That is the core success of recovery.

--- What's next? ---

Inside of every addicted individual is the original person who was full of wonder and excitement about the possibilities that lay ahead. Somewhere along the way, this person became lost and fell prey to the pleasures of their addiction. They instinctively decided that the greatest pleasures that life comes from the use of a substance and they reordered their life to accommodate this new desire at all costs --- this is the destructive point of addiction. It is here that they must make a choice and engage in a fight for survival.

There are a number of pitfalls common to self-recovery from addiction. Those who want to help you, but were never addicted themselves, have little to share on the subject, as their experience and beliefs are based on information provided by equally misinformed books and experts. Additionally, our society sees addiction as a noble affliction and denies that self-recovery is possible. As a result, society does not reward, and sometimes punishes, people who accept personal responsibility for their addictions and their recovery.

Realize that, if your environment has changed because of your addiction, all is not lost. If your family left or you lost your job or even if you lost some aspect of your life, the final decision that you make to move on with your life is the one that matters the most above all. You still have yourself and, in the long run, that is truly all that matters. Spend some time with your real self, as you might be surprised at the hero you just found!

Edward B. Toupin is an author, life-strategy coach, counselor, Reiki Master, technical writer, and PhD Candidate living in Las Vegas, NV. Among other things, he authors books, articles, and screenplays on topics ranging from career success through life organization and fulfillment. Check out some of his recent print and electronic books as well as his articles covering various life-changing topics!

For more information, e-mail Edward at etoupin@toupin.com or visit his site at http://www.make-life-great.com or http://www.toupin.com!

Copyright (c) 2004 Edward B. Toupin

Sex and the Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:35:00 +0000

The title of this article is likely to provoke many feelings, thoughts, sarcasms etc., as many people falsely believe that sex, spirituality,
and the soul are at opposite ends of a continuum. It is incredibly sad that something so beautiful and intrinsic in our nature is so poorly
understood and completely obliterated in our society. Most of us are taught from an early age that the body is dirty, sex is bad and that
we shouldn’t touch our genitals. Somewhere along the line we developed this inaccurate perception that sex and spirituality are separate
and that in order to be spiritual you need to be asexual and that you are a better person if you divorce yourself from your sexual energy,
feelings, desires, and needs and that spirituality is somehow superior to sexuality.

These attitudes are in complete contradiction to what is natural and healthy. It is like cutting off one of your legs and trying to run. We
are taught to suppress our sexuality and to feel shame for being a sexual being and therefore this creates the problematic patterns we see
associated with sex in our society such as excessive sex partners, violence, dissatisfaction with ones sex life, sexual confusion,
degradation, incest, addiction that are practically an epidemic. We have created a society with two sexual extremes and very few people
are able to find a healthy medium. At one end we have people with very few or no limits where meaningless sex, addiction, violence,
rape, incest, degradation etc. occurs and at the other end we have people with very rigid limits who are afraid of sex, who are
uncomfortable even talking about it, who don’t know even know what arouses them, who think it is dirty and bad and should be hidden
and or not engaged in. The common thread in both of these extremes is shame. People at both ends of the continuum are experiencing
shame but exhibit it in different ways. These are prime examples of what happens when we disconnect our soul from our sexual selves.

One of the factors that cause sex to create such great difficulty in our relationships is because sexual energy and spiritual energy feel very
similar. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the two apart. They often overlap. Because our society doesn’t encourage awareness or
understanding of either one of these energies we are left to try and figure them out ourselves and in our ignorance we develop patterns
that are unhealthy. Sex is very spiritual and spirituality can feel very sexual at times. I also believe this is one of the factors that makes
sex addictive, as I believe all addictions are really a search for the spiritual. Addictive substances and activities give us that incredible
whole, at one with the universe, complete, euphoric feeling that spirituality makes us feel. Because it feels so wonderful, we want to feel
it over and over so we keep doing the substance or activity. After awhile we need more and more of the substance or activity to have
the same feeling. We are not taught that these incredible spiritual feelings can be achieved on a regular basis through developing deep
healthy relationships with the universe, others and ourselves.

Sex is not bad, dirty, unhealthy and the root of these problems. It is the separation of sex from our souls and suppression of sexual
energy that creates these problems. It is the lack of understanding and awareness of our sexual energy and the ignorance that that this
creates that causes to act in ways that our troublesome and destructive. Being taught to suppress and divorce our sexual energy
separates us from a vital piece of our spirituality. Our whole survival is dependant upon sex as well as being one of the most pleasurable
experiences we can have and one of the most spiritual experiences one can have when in the context of love and respect. Sexuality is a
core ingredient of our spiritual make up. By continually trying to suppress sexuality we are only throwing fuel on the fire. The solution
is to explore and embrace our sexual energy, thoughts, feelings, and fantasies. Reclaim our sexuality and reconnect it to our souls. Get
it out in the open. Part of the reason destructive sexual forces have so much power is because of the suppression and shame. Problems
loose their power when brought out in the open and dealt with directly.

So how do we shed ourselves of years of negative conditioning and develop a healthier attitude, reconnect our souls with our sexuality
and celebrate our sexual selves. Well to begin with and to ensure that our next generation will be a more sexually enlightened group of
people we start by teaching our children. From a very early age we help them to develop a healthy appreciation and respect for their
bodies and promote a healthy attitude towards masturbation. We talk freely and openly with them about sex without shame. We
encourage them to talk to us and ask questions. We teach them the difference between healthy and unhealthy sex. We teach them that
sex is human, healthy and sacred and not just a physical act.

My personal belief is that healthy soul-satisfying sex takes place between two people who connect on many levels and do or are on their
way to care about each other. In my experience the deeper the relationship and the deeper the spiritual connection is then the more
fantastic and spiritual the sex will be. Healthy spiritual sex can also occur by yourself if you are without partner by deepening your
relationship with yourself. Meaningless or casual sex usually results in

feelings of emptiness, unfulfillment, and shame. It takes us
further away from our souls and leaves us searching for more in someone else. In my opinion, great sex requires, deep spiritual
connections, deep intellectual connections, communication and as the relationship evolves trust will become an issue. Sometimes we
meet someone and have an instant attraction. In this instance great sex can occur quickly, but if deepening of the spiritual and intellectual
connection, communication and trust are not nurtured then this attraction will diminish and die. These things can only be developed over
time and therefore the deeper the trust, the connection and communication is then the less inhibitions we will have and the freer we will
become in enjoying our sexual experiences. The sex will become even more explosive and we will be able achieve new heights of
passion and fulfillment we didn’t know existed. The depth of relationships has no limit except those that we bring to it with our own
fears and issues and therefore if we allow the relationship to grow and deepen there will always be another higher level of great sex to be
achieved.

I understand that many people are comfortable with casual sex and that especially in adolescents, young adulthood and phases of
adulthood such as after divorce that it may be necessary to experiment , retaliate or be reckless to find ones way and learn. Ultimately I
believe that what we find is that the most fulfilling sex is that which is explored with someone we care about, but we may have to go
down many roads and go through many experiences to learn this for ourselves. So while we are on this journey or when we are with
our loving partner I believe there are basic tenets we should teach our children and abide by ourselves to promote spiritual, respectful,
ethical sex. Those tenets are:
· Respect
· Neither party should be hurt physically
· No coercion
· Honesty
· Both parties should agree upon the activity engaged in
· Communication
· Both parties should want the same result. (Ex. If you are looking for just sex then you should not have sex with someone you know is
looking for a relationship. )

Other steps you can take to continue to celebrate your sexuality may include beginning to tell yourself different messages. Tell yourself
that sex is great, wonderful, good and spiritual. Find some good books on healthy sexuality and erotica and read, read, read. Visit some
websites. Do everything you can to educate yourself. It will probably take a long time to override the old voices in your head and you
may need to hear the new messages over and over. It may be helpful to talk to someone like an advisor or an educator to help validate
your new messages. Try to find friends who are on the journey of understanding their sexuality or who are comfortable with sex that you
can share this aspect of yourself with freely.

Explore your own body and discover what you like and what you don’t. Find what excites you and what doesn’t. What feels good and
what doesn’t. Make love with yourself. If you have a partner, let your partner know what you need and want and when you become
comfortable with it, then allow your partner to watch you while you fulfill yourself. This can be very arousing for both partners and it
teaches you both new things about each other’s bodies.

Be adventurous. Be aware. Be present in the here and now. Allow yourself to become immersed in the sexual experience. Open
yourself up and fully experience each touch, sensation, smell, movement, sound and taste while you are making love with yourself or
your lover. Tune into your body and soul and listen to the yearnings of your soul; they will guide you. Be willing to try new things
even if they feel foreign or scary.

Get naked outside and make wild passionate love. Personally I believe that there is not anything more arousing and spiritual than to be
naked outside and make love with the feel of the elements upon your body. There is something incredibly freeing about it and it elicits
uninhibited passions. It takes you back to the primal basics. This can be done either by yourself or with partner.

Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. This cannot be emphasized enough. Talk to your lover about your feelings, needs,
wants. Express your fears, inhibitions and embarrassments as well as your fantasies and expectations. If you are without partner then
get to know yourself completely from the inside out. Not only will this enhance your sexual experience, but will make life more fulfilling
in general and if the time comes to be with a partner again then you will be a better lover and better able to enjoy the experience fully.
If you are with partner then get to know yourself and your lover from the inside out.

Sex is one of the most powerful spiritual experiences we can experience. It should be celebrated and honored for the magnificent gift that
it is. Reclaim your sexuality. Experience the wonder and joy of soul-satisfying sex. Your soul will thank you.

About the Author

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed is a writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and holistic health consultant specializing in Erotic Communication,
Sexual Intimacy, Soul Satisfying Sex as well as issues of living with chronic illness, chronic pain or disability.
Sexuality services can be found at http://www.holistichelp.net/sexandsoul and Chronic illness services can be found at
http://www.holistichelp.net/

Signs of an addiction

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:35:00 +0000

Addictions come in many forms. It’s important to recognize the signs of addictions in order to seek out help before the problem becomes to large.

Some different types of Addictions are:
Caffeine addiction, nicotine addiction, drug addiction, Alcohol addictions, and gambling addictions.

Like mentioned above it’s very important to recognize the symptoms of addictions in order to be able to recognize and treat an addiction before it becomes to serious. There are several different symptoms, some vary on type of addiction, and others are age and gender specific. Here is a look at some of the most common symptoms:

Uncontrolled Craving and Desires – This symptom can be general to all types of addictions. For example: food/drink cravings, gambling cravings

Fatigue – Often times addictions will result in both physical and mental fatigue, as your body will often be working over time, and not resting properly.

Obsessive thoughts – Can you not get a thought out of your mind, is it starting to take over and effect the way you think?

Change in Behavior – Do you suspect that your behavior has changed? Are you more moody, or easily

frightened?

Hyperactivity – Do you seem to be excessively active, but not getting a lot done? Do you fidget more then usual? Do you have problem sitting still for any length of time?

These are just a few of several signs that can indicate the development or indication of an already existing addiction. If you are experiencing any of these signs, and it is unusual for you, I would recommend seeking out further existence either by a medical or mental professional.

Be smart with your health and body. Your only given one chance with it!

--

Feel free to reprint this article as long as you keep the following caption and author biography in tact with all hyperlinks.

This article is courtesy of http://www.addiction-area.com – Addiction Area. Which is a great web directory and information center for Addiction and related topics like Rehabilitation.
About the Author

Ryan Fyfe is the owner and operator of Web Design Calgary. He is also actively involved in: Addiction Area. Which is a great web directory and information center for Addiction and related topics like Rehabilitation.

Resistance to Loving

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:34:00 +0000

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Resistance to Loving
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul
Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 1375
Category: Emotional Healing, Spiritual Growth

RESISTANCE TO LOVING

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the last 35 years, and I am the author/co-author of eight published books on relationships and emotional healing. In the course of my work, I’ve seen thousands of people get stuck in misery, even when they knew how to move into their peace and joy.

How often do you get stuck in the anger, anxiety, withdrawal or depression of your wounded self? You know you can open, pray, invite love into your heart and do your inner work, yet how often do you find yourself resisting doing so? You might hear yourself say things like, "It won't work," or "I can't" or "God isn't there for me so why bother?"

The problem is that our wounded self often gets stuck in the Resistance Syndrome. We don’t want to open, we don’t want to love, we don’t want to be controlled by what we "should" do, nor controlled by God. Perversely, even though we may feel miserable, we refuse to open to learning and loving ourselves and others.

When we finally do open, we feel happy and peaceful, wondering why it took us so long. In fact, once we open, we may find ourselves thinking, "I’m never going back to that misery. This feels so great, so full. This is what life is about!"

Yet next time we are triggered into our hurt, anger or fear, we go right back to being stuck in our darkness. Why? Why do we persist in resisting the very thing that would bring us joy?

Understanding your intent is the key to understanding your resistance to loving. When you resist opening to Spirit, resist doing your inner work, it’s because your highest priority in that moment is to control and resist being controlled. Controlling and not being controlled becomes your god, your purpose. When control is your highest priority, you will not open to loving. You may believe that if you open you will be too vulnerable to being hurt, rejected, dominated. It is more important in that moment to avoid the pain of what you fear than it is to be loving to yourself and others, even though you are causing yourself worse pain by disconnecting from Spirit. So you punish whoever you think caused your pain - which may be yourself, God, a loved one - by staying in darkness.

All of this is because your wounded self thinks it can find its way by itself. It thinks if it stays safe by shutting down, not caring, numbing out with substances or processes, it will be okay. It wants control, especially control over not being controlled, more than anything, and it can’t maintain the illusion of control and open to being guided by Spirit at the same time.

This is the human dilemma with which we all struggle: who is in charge of our lives - our wounded self or our spiritual Guidance? Many of us turn to Guidance when things are going well, but immediately revert to the controlling ways of our wounded self as soon as our safety and security are threatened. What do you do when someone is angry at you, blames you, doesn’t do what you want? What do you do when things don’t go your way? Do you do your inner work and turn to your Guidance for what is loving to yourself and others, or do you turn to your addictions to anger, withdrawal, substances and processes? How long do you stay stuck in your wounded self? Following are some examples of people choosing to stay stuck in the Resistance Syndrome.

Veronica was enraged at her son. She was extremely frustrated at not having control over his refusal to do his homework. They had an ongoing power struggle over homework, and while Veronica realized that she was participating in the power struggle by trying to control her son, she refused to stop. The control was so important, as well as not being controlled by his resistance to her control, that she would keep escalating her anger until she’d hit him. Mortified at the last time she did this, she called me for help.

I was able to help Veronica open to her love and her Guidance, yet as long as

control and not being controlled was more important to her than loving, I knew she would succumb to her rage again and again. Only when loving and being guided by Spirit becomes her highest priority will she move beyond her rage. The problem is, Veronica is resistant to loving because her very controlling father always wanted her to be loving. Not being controlled by her father has always been more important to Veronica than loving herself and others. Veronica is caught between not wanting to be controlled by her father and wanting control over her son. Until whether or not her father thinks he is in control becomes irrelevant to Veronica, she will be stuck in the darkness of her wounded self.

Malcolm is a man with everything - a lovely wife and family, plenty of money, his health - yet he is rarely happy. Malcolm is devoted to having control over people liking him, approving of him, and paying attention to him. When he comes home from work, he doesn’t think about giving love to his wife and family. Instead, he wants to be filled up by them. When he goes to a social event, he doesn’t think about what he can offer to others. Instead, he wants control over how they feel about him. At work, he doesn’t think about how he can support his employees. Instead, he wants control over how they treat him.

Malcolm’s highest priority is having control and not being controlled. Until being a loving human being has a higher priority, Malcolm will continue to experience the emptiness and unhappiness he has had most of his life.

Ted is in a new relationship with Kathy. They are deeply in love and blissfully happy when they are connected. However, when Kathy doesn’t do things the way Ted thinks they should be done, Ted becomes a critical parent, telling Kathy in a harsh way what she has done wrong. Kathy goes into denial and resistance to being controlled by Ted, Ted then withdraws, and suddenly the love is gone. Both start fantasizing about leaving the relationship, when just moments before they were so in love. The last time this happened, Ted stayed shut down for days, feeling miserable but unwilling to open to loving.

In our phone session, I ask Ted to take Kathy’s hands, look into her eyes, and remember his love for her. "I don’t want to," he said. :"I know," I said, "but do it anyway, even though you don’t want to." He did. Then I said, "Now give her a hug." "I don’t want to," he said. "Do it anyway," I said, and he did. Then I asked him how he felt. "Much better!," he said. "This was a breakthrough!"

The breakthrough was that he stopped allowing his wounded self to be in charge. The last thing his wounded self wanted was to give in and open. Yet by resisting loving, he was keeping himself in misery.

If we want to have peace, love and joy in our lives, our devotion to loving needs to be stronger than our devotion to control. We need to see our wounded self as a child who needs to be disciplined, rather than the part of us that needs to be in charge. We need to decide to love even when it feel so very hard to do, even when our wounded self desperately wants control. This means that whether or not we are controlled by ourselves, others or God becomes irrelevant. When we make control and being controlled irrelevant and when love becomes more important than control, we will move into our personal power. Control loses its appeal when we experience, over and over, the joy of loving. And, of course, we will never end up feeling controlled when we speak our truth and set limits as a loving adult, rather than as a wounded self just going into resistance.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com

About the Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author, co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com.

Relationship Coaches Offer Expert Advice on How to Decide Whether to Stay In or Leave a Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:34:00 +0000

Webster's Dictionary calls a relationship "a romantic or
passionate attachment." If you're in one, you might think that
you've found heaven on earth. Or maybe something that's not
quite so grand, just OK or so-so. Or possibly something far
worse if your relationship is starting to seem more like hell on
earth than heaven. In fact, things may seem so bad to you that
you've started thinking seriously about leaving a relationship.
And if you're married this could mean getting a divorce. Many of
us have found ourselves in a similar situation and have suffered
great anguish while trying to decide what to do -- stay in a
relationship or leave it.

Well, the husband and wife Relationship Coach team of Susie and
Otto Collins, who are also top-selling authors, are urging that
before you take the next, maybe fateful step regarding your
relationship, that you stop long enough to learn how to make the
best possible decision about whether to stay or go. Susie and
Otto say that while they have a great relationship with one
another now, that wasn't always the case. But they want you to
basically 'go to school on them' by learning from and benefiting
from the relationship journey they made together. While there
most certainly have been others who have overcome the low points
in a relationship and made what eventually became a successful
journey together, not many of them have been able to recount it
in writing in such clear and compelling fashion as have Susie and
Otto Collins in their top-selling book "Should You Stay or
Should You Go?" which is available in both traditional print
form as well as a downloadable e-book version.

Susie and Otto assert that their book "will take you through a
powerful process of discovery about yourself, your partner and
your relationship" and that "by going through this process, the
decision about what's best for you actually reveals itself to
you." They claim their book will:

-- Help you know whether you really want to stay in this
relationship or move on

-- Help you discover what you really want in a relationship and
whether you'll be able to have it in this relationship

-- Help you identify the real issues going on in this
relationship (they may not be what you think)

-- Help you

understand the communication challenges going on
between the two of you

-- Show you how the way money is handled in your relationship may
be causing major problems without you even knowing it

-- Tell you what to do if there's physical, emotional or sexual
abuse going on in this relationship

-- Give you a new way of thinking about how addictions affect
your relationship

-- Help you identify how patterns from your past may be
unconsciously ruining your relationship right before your eyes

Susie and Otto offer the above in an "action book" format
"filled with hundreds of questions, stories and insights that
will help you consciously determine whether to stay in your
present relationship or to move on."

Naturally you'll have to judge for yourself the value of the
information presented by Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto
Collins, and whether their book "Should You Stay or Should You
Go?" truly can help you make such an important decision as how to
know WHEN or IF it's time to break up, leave your relationship or
get a divorce. But since so much may be at stake, it might very
well be worth a few minutes of your time to check things out
further. If you'd like more information about the book "Should
You Stay or Should You Go," you can find it at:

http://www.firstworld.biz/external73.html

(Note: if the above URL address isn't displaying as an active,
clickable link, please copy the URL and paste it into the address
bar of your web browser.)

Copyright 2005 Terry Mansfield. All rights reserved. Note: Anyone
may publish this free content article online or in print as long
as the entire contents of the article and accompanying resource
box, including any hyperlinks, are left unaltered, and the byline
is included. This article should not be used in anything that
could be considered spam.

About the Author

Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World Enterprises,
providing online customers world-wide with a choice of high-quality
products, services, and business opportunities since 1999. Visit
Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at http://www.firstworld.biz to see
current recommendations. And get info on free downloads of music
and movies at http://www.firstworld.biz/unlimited-free-downloadsB.htm

Shadows...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:33:00 +0000

The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego-personality, for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort. To become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspect of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential condition for self-knowledge, and it therefore as a rule meet with considerable resistance. These shadows are repressed elements of the personality which we choose not to be identified with...Carl Jung

Shadows lurk in the deep recesses of the psyche. It is buried in the heart, in the mind; it is part of us.It follows us, it frightens us, and they come to us in different ways, but always, fits our lifestyle,our beliefs or lack therof. The shadow is not a mere concept or a matter of perception.It is very real!

Just as there is light, there is also darkness. Is it possible to deny the shadow element? It is usually the worst side of the person. The courageous person may have a cowardly shadow. The kind,gentle and caring person may have a cruel side hiding behind all that softness. Even among the most benevolent, the most respected personalities and leaders in every field of endeavor, part of their shadow element peeks through their eloquence and their elegance.

Do they really know themselves, or having denied their shadow element, they find their views, their words and their actions in conflict. This is not intentional- the internal shadow conflicts they fail to deal with come to surface at the worst moment.

Is it possible to ignore or avoid the shadow? Some call it demons that stick around every dark corner, every perilous turn, in every struggle and conflict. When we are at the lowest point in our lives, shadows haunt us.

It is that part of ourselves that we leave in the closet as we face our public and put our best foot forward. Hide them, deny them, suppress them, would they just vanish?

These actions may end up attracting these shadows into our lives in other ways.

Do shadows impact on our lives? Do they mean anything? Shadows come in many forms. They can come as temptations, obsessions, addictions, co-dependency and other forms of indulgence. Shadows appear in the darkness cloaked in fear; shake us at our core.

Shadows also show as projections. It can be a dislike of

certain traits in people, unjustified and unexplainable. We don’t like what we see, perhaps it mirrors part of us that we choose to ignore or may not even be aware of.

Are you comfortable with your friends? If not, ask yourself, why do you hang out with them? Do you judge them harshly? If so, why do you share your precious time with them?

Do you tend to make a compromise that you can not meet? What about the times you get angry at the slightest provocation at times by the same person.

There are times we look for our shadows in the face of other people. We even attract them into our lives. Buried deep, these shadows may drive us to places we dare not go.

Pundits would say it is not wise to deny the shadow element. They believe the only way is to confront it, deal with it and work through the conflicts it creates.

Each one has their personal demons to deal with and to face, otherwise, it follows us in less conscious ways. There are lessons from the shadow element. To become aware of it, we need to go deeper into ourselves, be all that we can be, assuredly.

We can take the good. Work with the bad, see the light, face the darkness without fear.Go deep within; let the fears and insecurities buried deep within surface. Confront the anger seething under the skin.

We are not perfect. No matter how many dark clouds hover above us, no matter how long the dark night is, light will surely come. These dark nights offer a chance to enrich and nourish our spirit, our soul and our lives. It helps us to align ourselves with our highest purpose.

By striving for greater balance, endurance and perspective, we generate more personal power and strength.

About the Author: Bonnie Moss writes mostly about spirituality, tools available to all to walk the path.Heer website offers information on tarot, crystals, aura, journalling and related topics. She also writes a vaiety of motivational and inspirational articles for e-zines. Visit her website:http://goldencupcafe.tripod.com

http://goldencup

Source: www.isnare.com

Self, Soul and Parables

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:33:00 +0000

Self, Soul & Parables: Maurice Turmel PhD

Parables and mythical stories have been with us throughout time. From the earliest of cave drawings to modern writing and film parables, as guides to human experience, have been a source of inspiration throughout history. They are the teachers that guide us through challenges confronting us at different stages in our lives. Parables provide us with images and symbols that crystallize human experience into digestible pieces. As we are symbol seeking creatures, parables serve to illustrate each lesson we are about to embark on. They inform, they guide and they teach.

Periodically, in our collective human journey, we have major awakenings. Our history books inform us of this; all of our major disciplines are affected. A breakthrough in science often leads to a breakthrough in human awareness. For example, “the sun does not revolve around the earth,” but, “the earth revolves around the sun” struck down a core belief that could not be sustained by the facts. Earth-centeredness equaled self-centeredness during this period of our history and both were dealt a fatal blow. As a result, we humans became part of something larger than ourselves, a part of the Universe if you will, rather than being its center. When we take a long view of our recorded history we see that such awakenings have occurred regularly and continue to this day.

With the information explosion of modern times we are likely on the threshold of another major awakening. The world becomes smaller as each of us gains access to new information sources via the Internet; and as the benefits from that expanding knowledge base continue to grow. One could argue that our collective consciousness is uniting as we abandon isolationism and move toward the growing awareness that we are indeed One.

Within each period of history a symbol would emerge in the consciousness of man that described this process of evolution at the personal level. The symbol for today is the arising of the Self, well described by Carl Jung and the human potential movement of the late 60’s and early 70’s. From Self-actualization to Self-empowerment, the symbol of the Self announces a growing understanding that at the center of us lays a core, and this core is our Self out of which emerges creative expression of our truest nature.

The Self is not our Ego which has been our symbol of outward expression until this time. The ego has been an integral part of our human journey but is

no longer its mainstay. As many Eastern philosophers point out, the ego is a stepping stone to this new threshold, the arising of the Self. This Self is our core which, as we shall see, connects us to the Divine. Remember, the ego wants to be a God unto itself, totally self-sufficient and isolated, lying at the root of all our addictions which take us away from our true Self.

This Self contains and expresses that which we are in our feelings and emotions. This feeling nature has been called Heart and refers to our strongest desires and passions. “Follow your bliss” Joseph Campbell would suggest in answer to such questions as “who am I?” and “what is my purpose here on this earth?” The “recovery movement” has linked this Self with “the lost inner child.” Again, another description that places the Self as our feeling nature. I believe that this Self is the “true” center of our human personality and when “free” and “actualized” connects us to our Soul, its spiritual counterpart.

Our Soul is our connection to the Spiritual and the very source of our being. Our Soul takes on human form for its Earthly experience and gives rise to the Self which is the spiritual in human form. Self and Soul are the flip sides of the same coin. On the one side we see our spiritual nature; on the other we see our essential human nature. Expressing the Divine through our human form brings God down to Earth and renders this physical experience “Holy.” Our parables, myths and stories recount this journey where the hero or heroin always emerges vitally alive, unencumbered and free.

The Self then, is brought forward and nurtured on the human plane of experience. Expressing this Self strengthens us in our human drama and leads us back to Soul. Self and Soul work dynamically together to maintain the bond between the human and the Divine. We see that we are Spiritual beings first and foremost. And our humanness is but one expression of the Divine that seeks to enlarge Itself through the human journey, to once again assert why we are here – which is simply To Grow!

About the Author

Maurice Turmel PhD is the author of "Parables on Grief & Loss" and "Parables for a Modern Age." He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years, and is now an Author, Speaker and Performing Songwriter, all on the subject of Personal Growth, Creative Self-Expression and dealing with Grief & Loss. He can be reached at "drmoe@self-helpnow.com" or, through his website: www.self-helpnow.com.

Relieving Chemical Addictions - With Dietary Supplements

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:32:00 +0000

It is not uncommon for those who remain totally chemically free to simply substitute their chosen matter with excessive use of another addictive meaning, such as refined sugar, caffein, or nicotine. The term dependence encompasses almost completely asymmetry and self-destructive behavior. Chemical and codependency tin create an illusory sense of well-being, but in the end, it severely damages physical, emotional, and Negro spiritual wellness. At that place ar underlying metabolous malfunctions common to almost totally forms of addictions.

Sugar is the foremost "addictive, yet legal" kernel used today. Several other drugs such as amphetamines, psychedelics, cocaine, , and nicotine temporarily increase the release of boodle into the bloodstream; this creates a "high" through a procedure similar to that involving bread and alcoholic beverage. These drugs also duplicate the mood-inducing effect of the consistency's endorphins, chemicals which transmit messages to the brain that help to relax the nervous organization or make it "smile." In that location many degrees of addictions. Some people mildly addicted to 1 or 2 cups of coffee or a few teaspoons of cabbage. Others consume II to three quarts of drinks with More significant amounts of clams.

At the other end of the spectrum addicts drinking pints of intoxicant daily, shooting heroin and doing large amounts of various drugs. The first base step is making a decision. It's pickings and life into your have hands and departure your possess means.

It is not leaving it altogether to the doc, patronizing the local pharmacist and going away along the same old habits that brought on the trouble in the first gear place. It is a retracing outgrowth, a path that leads to restored . It is the rebuilding of the consistence. Other methods may provide symptom easing, but easement without correction leads only to a Thomas More chronic or degenerative

condition.

Are you free from most unhealthy habits. In your diet, do you stress the vital foods: fruits, grains, vegetables, and nuts. Do you engender to bed early and father enough sleep. Do you mother plenty of fresh air, sunshine, exercise, and contact with nature. If you answer YES to whole of these questions, you rich person come a long agency toward purification of the bodily temple.

Achieving balance requires fetching the meter to care for yourself. You may motivation to take steps to rejuvenate a badly damaged liver or build a strong resistant organisation. Regular nourishing and balanced meals crucial as nutritional supplements. No I toilet repair a lifetime of instability in a week. Catherine Howard Peiper is a nationally recognized expert in the holistic guidance field and a retrieval master. Peiper's healing, healthcare and natural professional person credentials extend over a 30- year period and include those of naturopath, author, lecturer, magazine and radio consultant and co-host of a television program.

He has co-authored 12 books including The Secret of Staying Young, All Cancel Anti-Aging Diet, A.D.D.: The Lifelike Approach, Born(p) Solutions for Sexual Enhancement and Are You Poisoning Your Pets. Leslie Howard Peiper takes clip out from his busy counsel schedule to share a passion with readers: convalescence. From boosting the system of rules to doing a systemic cleanse, he offers easy-to-follow tips for the physical side of healing. "For complete healing you motive to sire in touch with the apparitional side as well," the good physician says.

About the Author: Johnny Bee http://www.officeaccessory.net

Source: www.isnare.com

Residential Drug Treatment Centers - Overcome Addictions

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:32:00 +0000

Chemical dependency recovery provides with positive changes in reactions and behaviors. Residential Treatment Centers can be accommodate those suffering from alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction, and more. Treating both men and women together, or separately, they can offer the assistance that you need . Some residential treatment centers can even provide an atmosphere for specific cultural groups.

Recovery from any addiction requires changes in reactions and behaviors. A residential drug treatment center may be on of the best choices you can make if you are looking towards getting the experiences to help yourself overcome any stumbling blocks along the way so you can not only recover but learn how you can feel more relaxed.

The staff of the drug treatment centers are astounding at handling your needs. You will find, depending on what residential drug treatment center you choose, programs supervised by doctors, nurses, and highly trained professionals. Many centers employ professional dieticians and chefs to meet your nutritional needs. These people work together to help you relax and get the most out of the treatment program.

A residential drug treatment center provides a safe environment in which the addict is provided with quality counseling, help, and friendship. Residential treatment centers provide an escape from the streets, negative consequences, and bad environments which speeds the recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. Many recovery facilities offer private rooms, home cooked meals, smoking and non-smoking areas, and meditation and weight training.

Education and training, guidance and help are the foundation of residential drug treatment centers. They provide

the skills necessary to recover and enjoy a healthy mind, body, and spirit. Any setbacks can be overcome with the proper support.

Recovery is only the commencement of a astounding new life! The addict learns to be free from the bonds of alcohol and drugs and experiences healing, self expression, and joy. This not only benefits the individual, but their family and friends as well. This new found freedom will last a lifetime.

Personalized treatment and help is the goal of most residential drug treatment centers. 12 Step Programs such as Alcoholics Anonimous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Cocaine Anonymous (CA), and Gamblers Anonymous (GA) are often integrated into the residential drug treatment center programs. Aftercare is another benefit of most drug and alcoholic treatment centers. Treatment groups and individual treatment play a major role in the process of recovering from addictions. Group sessions are anonymous so you can relax and talk about your feelings with others suffering from similar problems. Alcoholism, gambling addiction, and drug addiction problems can often be overcome faster with care from others facing the same hurdles. Residential treatment program doctors or councilors, specializing in addiction disorders and treating chemical dependency disorders, can offer help and advice.

Every year, thousands of sufferers successfully recover from their addictions. Treatment programs offer the tools and aid needed to overcome addiction and live from from addiction. They can enjoy a new world free from problems.

About the Author

Visit us at
Residential Drug Treatment Centerfor more information on addictions

Shackled by Deeds in My Jail Made of Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:31:00 +0000

I have personally spent a great deal of time working
professionally with individuals who struggle with addictions,
more specifically addictions to controlled substances. I have
given presentations to many parent groups, school groups,
government entities and addicts. I have taken occasion to pick
their brain so to speak in an effort to understand how one
arrives at complete slavery to a particular drug. There is in
every case a string of choices, decisions that have led to other
decisions, which in turn led to other decisions, each choice
locking them into a pattern of conduct difficult to break.

Let me be more specific and use the life of an actual person,
who for our purposes we'll call Jim. Jim grew up in a typical
middle class Utah household and was raised by loving religious
parents who, no doubt did their best to give Jim the tools he
needed to make good decisions. Jim married a nice girl, and was
able as a young father to start his own business, which became
very successful. Eventually Jim was able to build a big house in
a nice neighborhood. He stayed active in church, in his
children's lives, and was always attentive to his wife. Jim at a
point in his life made the choice to use methamphetamine. No
doubt that this decision was reached through another string of
bad choices. The meth use at first seemed to help Jim cope with
his busy schedule. Each time Jim made the decision to use he
forged another iron bar for his personal prison cell. With each
use Jim's dependence on the drug grew making the next choice to
use or not use many times more difficult. In a short period of
time, his work began to suffer as his attentions turned toward
his new taskmaster. Jim's loving wife struggled as she watched
her once loving and attentive husband become abusive to her and
their children. She watched as he lost the business that

they
had worked so hard to build up, then the house. Finally when the
ultimatum was given he chose the master that he was serving over
his family.

Jim spent the next couple of years in and out of jail as he
racked up several felony charges for possession of Meth and
theft, having been reduced to steeling construction tools and
pawning them to buy his next fix. Jim's string of choices
culminated in a jail cell. The reason I know so much detail
about Jim's life is because I read all of this in a suicide
letter as I was investigating Jim's death. Jim had hung himself
in his jail cell just one week before his release date. The last
sentence in the letter stated something like this " I have no
choice but to kill myself, when I get out I will use again".

Let us take a close look at Jim's level of personal freedom.
Before his decision to use meth, his options were almost without
limit. He could have decided to do a million different things
with his life. Jim's personal freedom left a myriad of doors
open to him, including the most important, the opportunity to
raise and have a positive impact on his children, not to mention
the opportunity of a loving and lasting relationship with his
wife.

Perhaps you can see where I am going with this story. Each time
Jim made that conscious decision to use he also gave up some of
his personal freedom literally enslaving himself. Like a
sinister game of chess, the pieces of Jim's life were given away
the loss of each piece making it that much harder for him to win
until Jim's prison cell was complete and emotionally he was
trapped in a cell forged of a million choices. Unfortunately Jim
used the only bit of freedom he felt he had left to perpetuate
all of the other bad choices, he chose to give up.

About the author:

http://www.oinksolutions.blogspot.com/

Sex, Love and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:31:00 +0000

Proposing a New Diagnosis and Theory for Patients with Multiple Addictions

By James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC

Experts in the field of addictions are presently purporting that between 3 and 6 percent of the world’s population (193 to 386 million people) are presently affected by a sexual dependency or compulsivity (Carnes, 2005). Sexual dependency is a diagnosable and treatable disease, which today is generally, regarded in about the same way that alcoholism and drug addiction (chemical dependency) was regarded 40 years ago. Even so, there still exists a wide range of understandable misunderstandings about compulsive sexual acting out, created out of ignorance about the nature of sexual addiction, and supported and perpetuated by the multibillion dollar pornography industry.

Sexual Dependency - is a global term that covers a wide range of maladaptive and self-defeating behavior patterns and relationships such as:

1. Love Addiction – a disorder in which individuals repeatedly become involved in enmeshed, intense, codependent relationships, even when those relationships or partners are destructive;

2. Romance Addiction - a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with the intrigue and the pursuit of romance and thrive on the thrill of the chase, but find it impossible to sustain a committed, intimate relationship with another person;

3. Sexual Anorexia – a disorder in which individuals become dominated and obsessed with the emotional, physical, and mental task of avoiding sex; and

4. Sex Addiction – a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with sexually-related, compulsive self-defeating maladaptive behavior.

But can one really be addicted to love as the popular 80’s song proclaims? In a recent research study, (Aron, A. 2005) published in the June issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers used functional MRI to watch the real-time brain activity of 17 college students (10 women, seven men), all of whom were in the early weeks or months of new love. These researchers concluded that, love may vie for the same real estate in the brain as drug addiction. “Early love, rooted as it is in the caudate nucleus, is all about addiction.” "It is a drug addiction." "It's certainly got some of the main characteristics of drug addiction -- as with drugs, once you fall in love you need that person more and more, so much so that, after a while, you have to marry them. There are other things, too -- real dependence, personality changes, withdrawal symptoms." “And just like the need for cocaine or heroin, love can make people do crazy, sometimes dangerous things.” According to Aron (2005), the findings help explain instances where people fall in love with people they aren’t even sexually attracted to; or why others can feel equally strong, sudden emotion for a newborn child or even God.

So does this mean that all people who are newly in love have an addiction? Are all men who look at pornography addicted? Are all women who read romance novels addicted? Are all people who avoid sex considered sexual anorexics? No, no, no, and no. Then how can we differentiate between addiction and healthy relationships? Like other forms of addictive diseases and lifestyle disorders such as chemical dependency, pathological gambling, eating disorders, and religious addiction -

Sexual dependency is characterized by an addictive cycle of:

1. Obsession or preoccupation;

2. Ritualization;

3. Compulsive behaviors;

4. Loss of control and despair; and

5. Shame and guilt that perpetuates a maladaptive belief system of impaired thinking and unmanageability.

Typically, sexual addictive patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning sexual behaviors become the focus of life, causing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning. Addicts don’t use sex for affection or recreation, but for the management of anxiety and/ or emotional pain.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as sex that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism.

Sexual addiction takes many forms with various levels of severity to include:

1. Controversial behaviors (obsessions with pornography, and sex with strangers to engaging in cyber-sex);

2. Unacceptable behaviors (exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls); and

3. Profound Sex offender behaviors (rape, incest, and child molestation).

Though solitary forms of this addiction may not be overtly risky, they can be part of a pattern of distorted thinking and identity conflict that can escalate to involve harming the self and others. An example of a Sexual Disorder (NOS) or Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR, (2000) includes: distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by an individual only as things to be used. (It should be noted that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never used the word “addiction” to describe any of its disorders).

The defining elements of this kind of addiction are its secrecy and escalating nature, often resulting in diminished judgment and self-control (Carnes, 1994).

Brief History of Sex Addiction

In 1976, a suburban hospital administrator asked Dr. Patrick Carnes to start an experimental program for chemically dependent families. The theoretical constructs of the program originated in general systems theory, especially as it applied to families and the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the many factors which stood out from a family perspective was that the addictive compulsivity had many forms other than alcohol and drug abuse including overeating, gambling, shoplifting, and sexuality. Members of groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous had already pioneered in applying the 12-steps to other addictions so the Family Renewal Center extended its programming based on the 12-steps, to sexual addiction.

In 1983, Dr. Patrick Carnes formally introduced the concept of sexual addiction to the world in a text entitled “Out of the Shadows.” Since then the field of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior has developed dramatically. Terms such as addiction, compulsivity, hyper-sexuality, and “Don Juanism,” all have been used to describe what generically could be called "out of control sexual behavior." Regardless of its name, clinicians from all fields agree that a syndrome exists in which individuals have a sense that they have lost control over their sexual behavior.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The fundamental nature of all addiction is the addicts' experience of helplessness and powerlessness over an obsessive-compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict may be out of control. They may experience extreme emotional pain and shame. They may repeatedly fail to control their behavior. They may suffer one or more of the following consequences of an unmanageable lifestyle: a deterioration of some or all supportive relationships; difficulties with work, financial troubles; and physical, mental, and/ or emotional exhaustion which sometimes leads to psychiatric problems and hospitalization. Addictions tend to arise from the same backgrounds: families with co-dependency including multiple addictions; lack of effective parenting; and other forms of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in childhood.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH, 2005) report that the symptoms of sexual compulsivity often accompany other addictive behaviors:

Alcohol and Drug Addiction – Alcohol and drugs alter libido, enhancing it early in drug addiction and inhibiting it later. There is a pattern in cocaine addiction of selling sexual favors for cocaine. As the cost of drug addiction increases, the drug addict usually can't afford the drug from ordinary job income, and must resort to (either/or) stealing, drug dealing or prostitution to support their habit. Alcohol and many drugs cause blackouts or amnesia during the drug using experience, and if sex is coupled with that drug using experience then the details of the sexual experience may not be remembered.

Food Addiction - Sexual anorexia or pathological self-denial of healthy sex is a frequent accompaniment of overeating and anorexia nervosa.

Pathological Gambling - The lifestyle of the gambler often includes hyper-sexuality, where both compulsions feed the false sense of self-esteem of the addict.

Religious Addiction - Compulsive religiosity sometimes accompanies sexual addiction as the sex addict is seeking religion to lessen guilt and shame. The beginnings of compulsive religiosity may signal the onset of a period of sexual anorexia.

Multiple Addictions

Since it is impossible to expect treatment for one addiction to be beneficial when other addictions co-exist, the initial therapeutic intervention for any addiction needs to include an assessment for other addictions. National surveys revealed that a very high correlation exists between sexual addiction and other substance abuse and behavioral addictions. Sexual addicts who have reported experiencing multiple addictions include sexual addiction and:

§ Chemical dependency (42%)

§ Eating disorder (38%)

§ Compulsive working (28%)

§ Compulsive spending (26%)

§ Compulsive gambling (5%)

Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private addiction treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski, T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple

addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?

Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol, drug use, and over eating, etc.) may be listed on Axis I, only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.

New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.). Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship. In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.

Conclusion

Considering the wide range of sexual behaviors in our world today, one should always take into account an individual’s ethnic, cultural, religious, and social background prior to making any clinical judgments, and it would be wise to not over-pathologize in this area of Sexual Dependency. However, since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning - poly-behavioral addiction needs to be identified to effectively treat the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions.

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient. Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing addiction treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on poly-behavioral addiction.

For more info see:

Poly-Behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS)

By James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC at:

http://www.geocities.com/drslbdzn/Behavioral_Addictions.html

National Council on Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity

P.O. Box 725544

Atlanta, GA 31139

(770) 541-9912

http://www.ncsac.org

Sexual Addiction Resources

http://www.sexhelp.com

References

American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition,

Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, p. 787 & p. 731.

American Society of Addiction Medicine’s (2003), “Patient Placement Criteria for the

Treatment of Substance-Related Disorders, 3rd Edition, Retrieved, June 18, 2005, from:

http://www.asam.org/

Arthur Aron, Ph.D., professor, psychology, State University of New York, Stony Brook; Helen

Fisher, research professor, department of anthropology, Rutgers University, New Brunswick, N.J.;

Paul Sanberg, Ph.D.,professor, neuroscience, and director, Center of Excellence for Aging and

Brain Repair,University of South Florida College of Medicine, Tampa; June 2005, the Journal of

Neurophysiology

Carnes, P.J. (1983). Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare.

Carnes, P.J. (1989). Contrary to Love: Helping the Sexual Addict. Minneapolis, MN: Compcare.

Carnes, P.J. (1991). Don't Call it Love. Minneapolis, MN: Gentle Press Publishing.

Carnes, P.J. (1997). Sexual Anorexia: Overcoming Sexual Self-hatred. Center City, MN: Hazelden.

Carnes, P.J., & Delmonico, D.L. (1994). Sexual Dependency Inventory. Wickenburg, AZ: The Meadows Institute.

Carnes, P.J., Delmonico, D.L., & Griffin, E. J. (2001). In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of

Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior. Center City, MN: Hazelden.

Delmonico, D.L. (1997). Internet Sex Screening Test. [Online]. Available at: http://www.sexhelp.com

Delmonico, D.L., Griffin, E.J., & Moriarity, J. (2001). Cybersex Unhooked: A Workbook for Breaking Free From Online Compulsive Sexual Behavior. Wickenburg, AZ: Gentle Path Press.

Gorski, T. (2001), Relapse Prevention In The Managed Care Environment. GORSKI-CENAPS Web

Publications. Retrieved June 20, 2005, from: www.tgorski.com

Lienard, J. & Vamecq, J. (2004), Presse Med, Oct 23;33(18 Suppl):33-40.

Marlatt, G. A. (1985). Relapse prevention: Theoretical rationale and overview of the model. In G. A.

Marlatt & J. R. Gordon (Eds.), Relapse prevention (pp. 250-280). New York: Guilford Press.

Schneider, J.P. (1994). Sex addiction: Controversy within mainstream addiction medicine, diagnosis based on the DSV-III-R and physician case histories. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: Journal of Treatment and Prevention, 1(1), 19-44.

Slobodzien, J. (2005). Poly-behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS), Booklocker.com, Inc., p. 5.

About the author:

James Slobodzien, Psy.D. CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

Recovery & Stewardship: Is "What's In Your Wallet?" Affecting Your Bottom-Line?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:28:00 +0000

Many men in recovery find they need to set limits on their spending habits; often men will include financial accountability as part of their commitment to recovery in general. Although sexual addictions have dramatic effects on some men’s finances, for many more its influence is more subtle and may lie “under the radar.” For these men financial issues often surface when they begin to gain some control over their recovery by maintaining longer periods of sexual sobriety. While men begin to feel victorious over their addictions they will often increase their spending on gadgets, hobbies or other compulsive purchases. Not unlike their increased desire for sexual experiences outside biblical boundaries, they now find an increase in thirst for money or material goods that is unquenchable (Ecc 5:10). When men enter recovery their relationship with God must become a primary focus in his life. If men have been pursuing materialism “under the radar,” these financial idols will then come into conflict with their spiritual walk (Lk 16:13). As it did with lust or sexually acting out, these two passions cannot dwell together for long without consequences.

There are many emotional connections between sexual addictions and finances. Just as in the manner people handle finances reveals their true values, so does it reveal how they manages their lives. I frequently speak about money with others in recovery as a “secondary addiction.” Whether it is money, television, hobbies, alcohol, etc., there is almost always a secondary addiction underneath the more visible primary addiction. Sexually addicted men have not developed the same ability to tolerate frustration, other negative emotions, or delay gratification to the same degree as other adults. Sexually acting out is how men cope with the uncomfortable realities of life and resulting emotional pain. Unfortunately, simply removing the method of coping [acting out sexually] does not give a person the necessary skills to cope in a fallen world. Not only does this make sexual sobriety increasingly difficult, it leaves a men feeling even more powerless and ultimately sets them up for relapse. Sexually acting out is not the only coping behavior addicts employ, there is a whole dynamic that drives many behaviors and the way they relate to others. For instance, these patterns may include avoidance, procrastination or explosive anger. Men who systematically avoid pain may not only do so by acting out, but avoid conflict in general. Behind virtually every decision they make is the mantra of “avoid pain

at all cost.” If a man’s primary defense has been sexually acting out and that is no longer an option he will continue to seek avenues of avoidance. It is this dynamic that is often referred to by the term “dry addict.” The “drug” may not be there but the life patterns remain. In the absence of sex, he may act out with money.

Recovery is not just about abstaining from sexually acting out; it is a complete healing of the heart. Not only do men need to learn sobriety, they also needs to learn to cope with old triggers in healthy ways. Knowing this makes facing recovery more manageable as it helps to refocus on the actual issues. It empowers by causing men to seek new ways of relating. These changes are best made through “baby steps.” In my own recovery I started practicing assertiveness with the phone company. It is too overwhelming to tackle some issues head-on without first preparing, practicing and gaining confidence in new skills. I gained new skills at confrontation by fighting to have bogus charges removed from my phone bill. When I began to curb my spending habits I began to closer assess my motivation for spending each time I made a compulsive purchase. Soon I began to feel uncomfortable with purchases I knew where compulsive. The first day I returned a compulsive purchase I began to feel a bit of power over it. Ultimately men must address the triggering needs or emotions. When they can refocus on the actual problem they regain power and may no longer feel the need to spend or engage in other unhealthy secondary coping behaviors. I encourage you to own your choices, choose to view pain as an opportunity for growth and enter into the uncomfortable realms that you have avoided for years. You will slowly feel your heart stretching as you begin to tolerate more and more of what once felt intolerable. In retrospect, you may someday be amazed at the men you have grown up to be.

About the Author: Bob Parkins is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Sacramento Christian Counseling in Fair Oaks, CA. Bob works from a Christian perspective with individuals (pre-teen + ), couples, and groups. Bob's primary specialties are: sexual addiction, depression, anxiety, relationship issues. Please visit Bob's website at http://www.bobparkinslmft.com/

Source: www.isnare.com

Quit your addiction here and now

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:27:00 +0000

.

how to permanently quit addictions

I am a reformed alcoholic. I am a reformed chain smoker.
I am an ex fat person. I am also not selling anything.
My only wish now is to help people by passing on my
knowledge, I guess this sounds too good to be true.
When you have really nearly died a few times, money
takes on a sort of reduced role in your thinking.
Make no mistake about it, we are all going to die,
even you will die one day. When you are young this
seems a long long way away, I'm fifty now, and it
sure seems a little closer to hand than it did.
So it makes sense to make the time I have left
quality time, free of drink smoking and obesity,
after all it is easier to get older if you feel fitter,
than if you are ruining your body daily.
I wish I had started earlier in life, YOU CAN.

You may think I have superhuman will power to
quit drinking and smoking, and gambling and all
other excesses. To a certain extent that is true,
I have a great deal of will power, but I also have
a method, a way of thinking, which helps.

For some reason, and it may have been a good
one at the time, you have a craving, an overpowering
addiction. You love something more than you
love yourself at the present time.

Think myself or my health.

In this New Labour Tony Blair type world,
certainly in Britain, everything is explainable in terms
of something else more convenient. It doesn't detract
from the plain fact that the Emperor really hasn't got
any clothes on at all. In short, it's not stretching the
truth, it's really a very big lie.

This is what you are currently doing to yourself,
you are living out a lie in order to placate yourself,
in order to make what you are doing palatable.
What you are really doing is killing yourself a
lot quicker, and a lot more painfully than is
really necessary, and by and large no one gives
a damn whether you do or you don't,
they are too busy with themselves to really and
truly bother about YOU. By and large this is correct.
The few people that possibly do care either haven't
a clue how to help, or are simply hampered by the
realisation that it is only YOU who can cure it.

There are really no excuses
If you are drinking too much you are a pain of a drunk.
If you are smoking too much you are a pain of a smoker.
If you are gambling too much you are a liability,
just as you are if you are on drugs.
You probably nodded to all these, and felt agreement,
so why don't you realise that you are putting an intolerable
strain on the people around you, to say nothing of the
strain on the Health Professionals.

WHY?

Because you are too self indulgent to stop for a minute
enjoying yourselves to see if you are bothering other people,
too wrapped up in yourselves to care about others.
There is no magic formula to giving up an addiction,
You stop doing what it is that is costing you, and every
one around you a fortune. You stop paying out what you
haven't got on things YOU DON'T REALLY NEED.

To break that down further, in order to do this you will
need to change your whole way of life, permanently.
Make no mistake, if you are really and truly HAPPY
with what you are doing, then fine, go ahead and do it,
but acknowledge that most things you really enjoy
overdoing kill you slowly, and painfully, and most things
done to excess bring attendant guilt.
Stop reading now if you don't want to quit for good and
all or else you are wasting someone else's bandwidth who
has what it takes when you have not got the moral fibre.

What it takes is a modicum of will power combined with
a hell of a lot of common sense. I have had a lot of addictions,
I am an excessive natured person. I find the first step in
losing any of them is to look at them as a phase I have
grown out of. I have matured to such an extent I no
longer need their crutch to carry me onwards.

Generally speaking, most addictions are to make up
for or act as a distraction from the world as it is.
We have to learn to face up to life instead of running
away from it, and hiding behind false barriers built
up on the shaky foundations of fleeting happiness
bought at great actual and mental cost via addiction.

We have to

move on and grow up and mature,
Much as we ourselves look at kids and feel,
that's wrong, but they'll grow out of it in time.
And they usually do, don't they, because they see
that long term they are better off without doing what
they are doing.
Why don't we tell them at the time?
Because we know they'll tend to do the opposite,
and that only they can learn to be wise in the fullness
of time. We can but advise, and sow the seeds.

Thus it is with ourselves.

We have established that we can expect NO HELP
FROM OTHERS. Why should anyone else help us
anyway, it's our problem. If someone came to you with
Ive got a terrible problem with my lawyer, and my cat isn't eating, my mother in law is being funny and I've got
the results of my x rays tomorrow you might well be
a little concerned, but I bet your first thought would
really and truly be how can I get away as quickly as
I possibly can without causing offence? .

So why the hell should others be expected to listen to you
bleating on about helping you to quit your problem.

IT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

Also you will never stop doing anything you really LIKE
DOING. You have to really want to stop for good and ever,
not just when you attain a certain level, because you will
only gradually go back to what you were before, a PAIN.

If you hear an alcoholic say after a year off the booze
I'm ok for a pint now, what do you REALLY think
will happen if he or she has a pint or short?
You know as well as I do.

So really you have to

a) Realise it is just you that matters and does anything
b) realise you have to really WANT to quit
c) Realise no one else is going to do it for you magically.
d) realise that it was a phase you had to live through
e) realise that it will definitely kill you, very very painfully
f) realise that you will have gained from your descent into hell

There are many ways to quit addictions for different people.
If you are reading this they have probably all failed.

Wrong.

YOU HAVE FAILED.
MOST of the methods work if you WANT them to work.
I suggest that you treat it as a phase of your life, and
you have learned from this phase and wish to move on
and prove to everyone that you aren't stupid. Because
anyone who knows that something is killing them
and alienating people, and still does it, is stupid,
has not learned one iota from what they have done
have not progressed one jot in their mindset.

Water, pure little tap water, fills you up and
is needed more than you think. Eighty per cent of
the human body is water, so it makes sense to drink it.
This is a good start to purifying your body and mind.
Drink a few litres a day. And KEEP BUSY.

Remember, I make zero money out of this article,
but it is probably the best common sense you'll ever
read.

Most articles you will read have a hidden agenda,
TO MAKE MONEY OUT OF ADDICTED PEOPLE.
If you quit forever, they'd lose your
money in the future, wouldn't they?
They plan on you quitting EVERY YEAR.
Why not just do it ONCE. I sure as hell would not
want to quit smoking and drinking on a yearly basis

WHAT I GAIN

I just get to have a few more people visiting my website,
if you stop for a second or two to read this article,
as I get a kick out of getting visitors from all over the world,
and seeing my site visitor numbers rise.
I guess you could think of it as an obsession,
or a phase I'll probably grow out of in time

But it is also very nice if you can help people, and I've
been places you really do not want to go, and had things
done to me you really and truly WOULD NOT LIKE.
I SHOULD BE DEAD, I am not.

We all KNOW what we should and shouldn't be doing
by and large, and no one can make a difference but ourselves.

It is a sad fact of modern life that everyone expects to be
able to do what the hell they like and then someone will
bail them out at the last minute.

Fact is, if you don't quit, you'll die young, in pain and alone.

YOUR CHOICE, YOUR LIFE,

but you WILL die sooner than most.

malco may 2003

About the Author

I am an ex alcoholic, ex chain smoker, ex gambler, ex compulsive spender. I am now fit and healthy, you can be too.

Pharmaceuticals: The Next Frontier in America

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:26:00 +0000

Pharmaceuticals: The Next Frontier in America's War on Drugs

America's war on drugs, which has been fought in the opium
fields of Afghanistan and the cocaine plantations of
Columbia, will have to reinvent itself to combat what is set
to be America's biggest drug abuse problem, pharmaceuticals.
One in five American's, nearly 48 million, have used
prescription drugs for non-medical purposes at least once in
their lives. The current past month misuse rate among
Americans is 6.2 million. According to a recent white paper
by Carnevale Associates, this rate of use is already higher
than the historical highs of both cocaine and heroin
epidemics.

For some, the road to illicit use of prescription
medications starts innocently. After a car accident, back
injury, or, even, a mental/emotional breakdown a physician
prescribes medication for a legitimate use. Over time,
tolerance builds up so that more and more of the drug is
needed until a state of dependence is reached. At this
point, there is no easy way to get off the drug, and
stopping can involve painful withdrawal symptoms. Some
doctors have been known to become afraid and cut their
patients off at this point. Patients have been known to
steal prescription pads, or visit numerous doctors to get
the drugs they have become addicted to.

However, contrary to popular belief, it is not older adults
or any adults who are most likely to abuse pharmaceuticals.
In the past decade, abuse of prescription meds among youth
has been growing at an alarming first-time use rate of more
than fifty percent each year. In 2002, the latest year for
which there are statistics, approximately 2.5 million
American's misused prescriptions for the first time and 44%
of them were under the age of 18.

Unfortunately, as the media fixes its gaze on the
methamphetamine problem; and the Office of National Drug
Control Policy spends much of its time focusing on Marijuana
the opportunity to address the pharmaceutical addiction and
abuse is being missed. While certain steps have been taken
they have been tentative. The ONDCP has drawn up a strategy
for addressing synthetic drugs, but no serious media
campaign to educate Americans about the problem has been
undertaken. Nor has any pharmaceutical company been brought
to heel for manufacturing drugs with high abuse potential
even when alternatives may exist.

The next battle in America's war on drugs must draw a bead
on pharmaceuticals. The ONDCP must be willing to launch the
same type of hard hitting ad campaigns

against prescription
drug abuse as it has against, marijuana, ecstasy and
cocaine. The FDA must not be afraid to sanction drug
manufacturers who continue to make unsafe drugs where safe
alternatives exist. Pharmaceutical manufactures must become
better citizens and spend the research and development
dollars to make safe and effective drugs, rather than taking
the easy way out.

This new phase of the war on drugs, without easily targeted
foreigners to blame for America's drug abuse problems, will
take unwavering political resolve, corporate citizenship and
ingenuity. Even then it is likely to take years before the
trend of increases in prescription medicine abuse and
addiction can be reversed.

Common Prescription Drugs of Abuse:

Opioids: these are synthetic versions of opium. Intended for
pain management opioids are the most commonly abused
prescription drugs. OxyContin (oxycodone), Vicodin
(hydrocodone) and Demerol (meperidine) are the most popular
for abuse. Short-term side effects can include pain relief,
euphoria, and drowsiness. Overdose can lead to death.
Long-term use can lead to dependence or addiction.

Depressants: These drugs are commonly prescribed to treat
anxiety; panic attacks, and sleep disorders. Nembutal
(pentobarbital sodium), Valium (diazepam), and Xanax
(alprazolam) are just three of the many drugs in this
category. Immediately slow down normal brain functioning and
can cause sleepiness Long-term use can lead to physical
dependence and addiction.

Stimulants: Doctors may prescribe these to treat the
sleeping disorder narcolepsy or
attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, ADHD. Ritalin
(methylphenidate) and Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine) are two
commonly prescribed stimulants. These drugs enhance brain
activity and increase alertness and energy in much the same
way as cocaine or methamphetamine. They increase blood
pressure; speed up heart rate, and respiration. Very high
doses can lead to irregular heartbeat and hyperthermia.

© 2005, David Westbrook

About the Author: Dave Westbrook has worked in the field of
crisis intervention and addictions for several years. For
more information on prescription med abuse and other
addiction related topics visit www.addictionsresources.com

###



   ABOUT THE AUTHOR

   Dave Westbrook has worked in the field of crisis intervention and addictions for several years. For more information on prescription med abuse and other
addiction related topics visit www.addictionsresources.com

Overcoming Addictions - Your Key to Survival!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:26:00 +0000

There are some alarming facts to consider regarding addictive disorders. For instance, a recent report in the National Drug Addiction Recovery Month Kit showed the cost of alcohol and illicit drug use in the workplace, including lost productivity, accidents and medical claims to be an estimated $140 billion per year.

Another fact: every eight seconds, a person dies due to a tobacco-related illness, according to the World Health Organization.

Also, an estimated 28 percent to 30 percent of people in the U.S.A. alone have an addictive substance abuse disorder, a mental health disorder or both, according to a 2002 report by the National Mental Health Association.

And alcohol abuse and dependence occurs four times as much among men over the age of 65 than women in the same age group, according to the Surgeon General's Report on Mental Health, 1999.

Addictions present some common and some unique characteristics and behaviors across the board, depending upon the behaviors and / or substances associated with the addiction. Let's take a look at some common symptoms or traits and a little about how to begin getting help for the more common addictions or dominating dependencies today.

Odors associated with the substances like cigarette or marijuana smoke are fairly

noticeable traits. Here are some maybe not so obvious:

*Fatigue
*Uncontrolled cravings
*Wearing long sleeves (to cover needle marks) during hot weather
*Hanging out with known addicts
*Thoughts, actions - nearly everything- - focused on addiction
*Nasal congestion (sniffing, nose bleeds...), eye changes (redness, glassy, wears sunglasses when not needed, etc...)
*Behavioral changes (moodiness, mood swings with hyperactive, lethargy, violence, paranoia, secretive, confused thoughts and actions)
*Denial of use, addiction, etc.
*Memory loss, distorted time
*Stealing or excessive / unusual borrowing of funds
*Unkempt appearance, truant / absenteeism from work, school, home...
*Sudden changes in school work and grades, job performance, regular behavior
*Withdrawal from normal activities, friends, family
*Withdrawal symptoms: nausea, sweating, chills, convulsions, anxiety, nervousness, depression, headaches, hallucinations, diarrhea, restlessness / sleep disturbances, shaking (uncontrolled), sensitivity.

About the Author

To read more and get your free copy of "Overcoming Addictions" visit www.quit-smoking-nicotine.com/free-e-book.html

Power and Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:25:00 +0000

Overcoming Negative Beliefs

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:25:00 +0000

In India, the method for training an elephant is the following: When the elephant is very young, its leg is tied to a small post with a thin piece of rope. At that age the elephant hasn't the power to break the rope or dislodge the post. It tries for a while and then gives up. As the elephant grows, there's no reason to increase the girth of the rope or the post. The elephant of course reaches such size and strength that it could, if it wanted, easily break free from the restraint. But having tried and failed earlier, it stops trying, convinced that it's entrapped ...Doesn't that sound like us?

Nothing has such a direct impact on our success in life as our beliefs. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says "What the mind conceives and believes, it achieves." Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of Magical Child, says "Belief effects perception." Our beliefs affect what we see and what we accomplish.

If you're to succeed in achieving your life's dreams, you must begin to adopt what motivational speaker Wayne Dyer calls "No Limit Thinking." What you can't do is only what you can't do yet. You are equipped like every other human being with the capabilities necessary to accomplish your goals. Author Richard Bach says:

"Nobody is given a dream without the power to make it come true."

Unfortunately, our beliefs are resistant to change because of the method we use for applying evidence to substantiate them. Sometimes we develop a negative belief which starts as a misinterpretation of an event in our lives. That misinterpretation is reinforced by subsequent misinterpretations to the point that the original misinterpretation is now seen as incontrovertible fact. We make our beliefs into reality.

When I was five years old, my family moved into a new neighborhood. The neighborhood kids had been friends with the previous occupants and weren't open to newcomers. The day I arrived, half the neighborhood kids were in my backyard on my swing set. When I went out there to join in, they wouldn't let me. They told me I didn't belong there and that I was stupid and ugly. The wound was substantial. In that moment, I decided that I was undesirable.

From then on, I carried that scar with me. Each new interaction was colored by my decision that I was undesirable. Somehow, I would telegraph my undesirability to others who would use that information, received unconsciously by them, to hold me at a distance. I'd sense their distance and would use it to prove to myself that my notion of my undesirability was accurate. Each new interaction would reinforce my belief, and my belief would recreate the types of interactions which proved the belief true. Further, the inner feeling, which I'd been trained to trust as accurate, would deepen my conviction about my own undesirability. But was I really undesirable or was I just the victim of my misunderstanding of the original situation?

If I were to choose to change that belief, what would I have to face? Well, I'd have to face the feeling that the belief was true, and I'd have to face the voices in my head that would remind me of all the times that things happened which proved the belief to be true. To change the belief, I'd have to fly in the face of both historical evidence and bodily knowing in the form of emotions. That's a lot of power! What's the answer? Where could I find the strength to

overcome such powerful evidence?

The answer is something known as reframing. Reframing is a technique for looking at a particular situation or set of circumstances and challenging oneself to find the most empowering, resourceful interpretation of that situation. It often requires creative thinking and is underlined by the idea that no situation has an inherently correct interpretation except that which we give it. In other words, there are many ways to view any circumstance and our charge is not to find the right interpretation but to find the most useful interpretation, the one that helps us meet our goals, the one that we will also accept as viable.

Suppose it's my goal to be happy. Which is a more useful frame to put around the story I told about my childhood? That I was, in fact, fundamentally undesirable or that I was a perfectly normal child who happened to stumble into an unfriendly situation? Which evaluation would have served me more in my growth?

There are probably some among you who, like me in my past, feel that reframing a situation is inherently dishonest. If you're one of them, let me suggest that you consider the underlying belief that your negative interpretation of a situation is correct. Just because it feels true and has a historic context, does that make it true? Is it not possible that your interpretation is really a misinterpretation? Perhaps you're holding yourself back from thriving because of outmoded adherence to an indefensible view. Whenever I feel that I must maintain my view of anything, I try to remember the words of Ram Dass, who says, "You're not who you think you are." If you're not who you think you are, how can you defend your position?

Here are some powerful reframes, which, once adopted by your deep subconscious mind, will activate your enthusiasm, creativity, and sense of possibility:

There are no problems, only opportunities.

Those who cause me emotional pain are my teachers, helping to point out the emotional addictions I need to overcome.

What I've failed to accomplish doesn't prove my incapability but my lack of adequate knowledge to this point.

There is no failure; only feedback.

When I share my pain, I become more truly human.

Take a few minutes to make your unconscious beliefs conscious. Ask yourself what you believe about yourself, about your role in society, about your capabilities, about the world around you, about family and friends, about men, about women, about your past, about your future, about God, about life and death, and about the role of belief in your future.

Take these questions one at a time and spend one minute writing as many answers as you can to each as quickly as you can, without pausing to reflect. Look for ways of reframing your unresourceful beliefs, finding empowering ways to look at your situation without sacrificing your hold on reality. Be as diligent as you can. With time, you will find your life becoming more satisfying and manageable, even before you've actually done anything to change your life circumstances.
About the Author

Dr. Steve Taubman is recognized as the nation's "Starting over Expert." As a chiropractor, magician, hypnotist, pilot, speaker, coach, and author, Dr. Taubman has developed skills to reinvent his life and the techniques to help others do the same. You can visit his web site at: www.unhypnosis.com

Pathological Eating Disorders and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:24:00 +0000

Proposing a New Diagnosis and Theory for Patients with Multiple Addictions

By James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC

When considering that pathological eating disorders and their related diseases now afflict more people globally than malnutrition, some experts in the medical field are presently purporting that the world’s number one health problem is no longer heart disease or cancer, but obesity. According to the World Health Organization (June, 2005), “obesity has reached epidemic proportions globally, with more than 1 billion adults overweight - at least 300 million of them clinically obese - and is a major contributor to the global burden of chronic disease and disability. Often coexisting in developing countries with under-nutrition, obesity is a complex condition, with serious social and psychological dimensions, affecting virtually all ages and socioeconomic groups.” The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (June, 2005), reports that “during the past 20 years, obesity among adults has risen significantly in the United States. The latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 30 percent of U.S. adults 20 years of age and older - over 60 million people - are obese. This increase is not limited to adults. The percentage of young people who are overweight has more than tripled since 1980. Among children and teens aged 6-19 years, 16 percent (over 9 million young people) are overweight.”

Morbid obesity is a condition that is described as being 100lbs. or more above ideal weight, or having a Body Mass Index (BMI) equal to or greater than 30. Being obese alone puts one at a much greater risk of suffering from a combination of several other metabolic factors such as having high blood pressure, being insulin resistant, and/ or having abnormal cholesterol levels that are all related to a poor diet and a lack of exercise. The sum is greater than the parts. Each metabolic problem is a risk for other diseases separately, but together they multiply the chances of life-threatening illness such as heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and stroke, etc. Up to 30.5% of our Nations’ adults suffer from morbid obesity, and two thirds or 66% of adults are overweight measured by having a Body Mass Index (BMI) greater than 25.

Considering that the U.S. population is now over 290,000,000, some estimate that up to 73,000,000 Americans could benefit from some type of education awareness and/ or treatment for a pathological eating disorder or food addiction. Typically, eating patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning weight and/ or eating habits, (e.g., overeating, under eating, binging, purging, and/ or obsessing over diets and calories, etc.) become the focus of a persons’ life, causing them to feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as eating that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism. Some do suffer from hormonal or metabolic disorders, but most obese individuals simply consume more calories than they burn due to an out of control overeating Food Addiction. Hyper-obesity resulting from gross, habitual overeating is considered to be more like the problems found in those ingrained personality disorders that involve loss of control over appetite of some kind (Orford, 1985). Binge-eating Disorder episodes are characterized in part by a feeling that one cannot stop or control how much or what one is eating (DSM-IV-TR, 2000). Lienard and Vamecq (2004) have proposed an “auto-addictive” hypothesis for pathological eating disorders. They report that, “eating disorders are associated with abnormal levels of endorphins and share clinical similarities with psychoactive drug abuse. The key role of endorphins has recently been demonstrated in animals with regard to certain aspects of normal, pathological and experimental eating habits (food restriction combined with stress, loco-motor hyperactivity).” They report that the “pathological management of eating disorders may lead to two extreme situations: the absence of ingestion (anorexia) and excessive ingestion (bulimia).”

Co-morbidity & Mortality

Addictions and other mental disorders as a rule do not develop in isolation. The National Co-morbidity Survey (NCS) that sampled the entire U.S. population in 1994, found that among non-institutionalized American male and female adolescents and adults (ages 15-54), roughly 50% had a diagnosable Axis I mental disorder at some time in their lives. This survey’s results indicated that 35% of males will at some time in their lives have abused substances to the point of qualifying for a mental disorder diagnosis, and nearly 25% of women will have qualified for a serious mood disorder (mostly major depression). A significant finding of note from the NCS study was the widespread occurrence of co-morbidity among diagnosed disorders. It specifically found that 56% of the respondents with a history of at least one disorder also had two or more additional disorders. These persons with a history of three or more co-morbid disorders were estimated to be one-sixth of the U.S. population, or some 43 million people (Kessler, 1994).

McGinnis and Foege, (1994) report that, “the most prominent contributors to mortality in the United States in 1990 were tobacco (an estimated 400,000 deaths), diet and activity patterns (300,000), alcohol (100,000), microbial agents (90,000), toxic agents (60,000), firearms (35,000), sexual behavior (30,000), motor vehicles (25,000), and illicit use of drugs (20,000). Acknowledging that the leading cause of preventable morbidity and mortality was risky behavior lifestyles, the U.S. Prevention Services Task Force set out to research behavioral counseling interventions in health care settings (Williams & Wilkins, 1996).

Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski,T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?

Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., overeating, unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol and drug use, etc.) may be listed on Axis I only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.

New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.). Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship. In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.

New Proposed Theory

The Addictions Recovery Measurement System’s (ARMS) theory is a nonlinear, dynamical, non-hierarchical model that focuses on interactions between multiple risk factors and situational determinants similar to catastrophe and chaos theories in predicting and explaining addictive behaviors and relapse. Multiple influences trigger and operate within high-risk situations and influence the global multidimensional functioning of an individual. The process of relapse incorporates the interaction between background factors (e.g., family history, social support, years of possible dependence, and co-morbid psychopathology), physiological states (e.g., physical withdrawal), cognitive processes (e.g., self-efficacy, cravings, motivation, the abstinence violation effect, outcome expectancies), and coping skills (Brownell et al., 1986; Marlatt & Gordon, 1985). To put it simply, small changes in an individual’s behavior can result in large qualitative changes at the global level and patterns at the global level of a system emerge solely from numerous little interactions.

The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient. Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the

individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

The ARMS acknowledges the complexity and unpredictable nature of lifestyle addictions following the commitment of an individual to accept assistance with changing their lifestyles. The Stages of Change model (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1984) is supported as a model of motivation, incorporating five stages of readiness to change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. The ARMS theory supports the constructs of self-efficacy and social networking as outcome predictors of future behavior across a wide variety of lifestyle risk factors (Bandura, 1977). The Relapse Prevention cognitive-behavioral approach (Marlatt, 1985) with the goal of identifying and preventing high-risk situations for relapse is also supported within the ARMS theory.

The ARMS continues to promote Twelve Step Recovery Groups such as Food Addicts and Alcoholics Anonymous along with spiritual and religious recovery activities as a necessary means to maintain outcome effectiveness. The beneficial effects of AA may be attributable in part to the replacement of the participant's social network of drinking friends with a fellowship of AA members who can provide motivation and support for maintaining abstinence (Humphreys, K.; Mankowski, E.S, 1999) and (Morgenstern, J.; Labouvie, E.; McCrady, B.S.; Kahler, C.W.; and Frey, R.M., 1997). In addition, AA's approach often results in the development of coping skills, many of which are similar to those taught in more structured psychosocial treatment settings, thereby leading to reductions in alcohol consumption (NIAAA, June 2005).

Treatment Progress Dimensions

The American Society of Addiction Medicine’s (2003), “Patient Placement Criteria for the Treatment of Substance-Related Disorders, 3rd Edition”, has set the standard in the field of addiction treatment for recognizing the totality of the individual in his or her life situation. This includes the internal interconnection of multiple dimensions from biomedical to spiritual, as well as external relationships of the individual to the family and larger social groups. Life-style addictions may affect many domains of an individual's functioning and frequently require multi-modal treatment. Real progress however, requires appropriate interventions and motivating strategies for every dimension of an individual’s life.

The Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) has identified the following seven treatment progress areas (dimensions) in an effort to: (1) assist clinicians with identifying additional motivational techniques that can increase an individual’s awareness to make progress: (2) measure within treatment progress, and (3) measure after treatment outcome effectiveness:

PD- 1. Abstinence/ Relapse:

Progress Dimension

PD- 2. Bio-medical/ Physical: Progress Dimension

PD- 3. Mental/ Emotional:

Progress Dimension

PD- 4. Social/ Cultural:

Progress Dimension

PD- 5. Educational/Occupational: Progress Dimension

PD- 6. Attitude/ Behavioral:

Progress Dimension

PD- 7. Spirituality/ Religious: Progress Dimension

Considering that addictions involve unbalanced life-styles operating within semi-stable equilibrium force fields, the ARMS philosophy promotes that positive treatment effectiveness and successful outcomes are the result of a synergistic relationship with “The Higher Power,” that spiritually elevates and connects an individuals’ multiple life functioning dimensions by reducing chaos and increasing resilience to bring an individual harmony, wellness, and productivity.

Addictions Recovery Measurement - Subsystems

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The “ARMS”- systematically, methodically, interactively, & spiritually combines the following five versatile subsystems that may be utilized individually or incorporated together:

1) The Prognostication System – composed of twelve screening instruments developed to evaluate an individual’s total life-functioning dimensions for a comprehensive bio-psychosocial assessment for an objective 5-Axis diagnosis with a point-based Global Assessment of Functioning score;

2) The Target Intervention System - that includes the Target Intervention Measure (TIM) and Target Progress Reports (A) & (B), for individualized goal-specific treatment planning;

3) The Progress Point System - a standardized performance-based motivational recovery point system utilized to produce in-treatment progress reports on six life-functioning individual dimensions;

4) The Multidimensional Tracking System – with its Tracking Team Surveys (A) & (B), along with the ARMS Discharge criteria guidelines utilizes a multidisciplinary tracking team to assist with discharge planning; and

5) The Treatment Outcome Measurement System – that utilizes the following two

measurement instruments: (a) The Treatment Outcome Measure (TOM); and (b) the Global Assessment of Progress (GAP), to assist with aftercare treatment planning.

National Movement

With the end of the Cold War, the threat of a world nuclear war has diminished considerably. It may be hard to imagine that in the end, comedians may be exploiting the humor in the fact that it wasn’t nuclear warheads, but “French fries” that annihilated the human race. On a more serious note, lifestyle diseases and addictions are the leading cause of preventable morbidity and mortality, yet brief preventive behavioral assessments and counseling interventions are under-utilized in health care settings (Whitlock, 2002).

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force concluded that effective behavioral counseling interventions that address personal health practices hold greater promise for improving overall health than many secondary preventive measures, such as routine screening for early disease (USPSTF, 1996). Common health-promoting behaviors include healthy diet, regular physical exercise, smoking cessation, appropriate alcohol/ medication use, and responsible sexual practices to include use of condoms and contraceptives.

350 national organizations and 250 State public health, mental health, substance abuse, and environmental agencies support the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, “Healthy People 2010” program. This national initiative recommends that primary care clinicians utilize clinical preventive assessments and brief behavioral counseling for early detection, prevention, and treatment of lifestyle disease and addiction indicators for all patients’ upon every healthcare visit.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the mental health and addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on pathological eating disorders within poly-behavioral addiction.

For more info see:

Poly-Behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System,

By James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC at:

http://www.geocities.com/drslbdzn/

Behavioral-Addictions.html

Food Addicts Anonymous: http://www.foodaddictsanonymous.org/

Alcoholics Anonymous: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

References

American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition,

Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2000, p. 787 & p. 731.

American Society of Addiction Medicine’s (2003), “Patient Placement Criteria for the

Treatment of Substance-Related Disorders, 3rd Edition,. Retrieved, June 18, 2005, from:

http://www.asam.org/

Bandura, A. (1977), Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review,

84, 191-215.

Brownell, K. D., Marlatt, G. A., Lichtenstein, E., & Wilson, G. T. (1986). Understanding and preventing relapse. American Psychologist, 41, 765-782.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Retrieved June 18, 2005, from: http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/

Gorski, T. (2001), Relapse Prevention In The Managed Care Environment. GORSKI-CENAPS Web

Healthy People 2010. Retrieved June 20, 2005, from: http://www.healthypeople.gov/

Publications. Retrieved June 20, 2005, from: www.tgorski.com

Lienard, J. & Vamecq, J. (2004), Presse Med, Oct 23;33(18 Suppl):33-40.

Marlatt, G. A. (1985). Relapse prevention: Theoretical rationale and overview of the model. In G. A.

Marlatt & J. R. Gordon (Eds.), Relapse prevention (pp. 250-280). New York: Guilford Press.

McGinnis JM, Foege WH (1994). Actual causes of death in the United States. US Department of Health and Human Services, Washington, DC 20201

Humphreys, K.; Mankowski, E.S.; Moos, R.H.; and Finney, J.W (1999). Do enhanced friendship networks and active coping mediate the effect of self-help groups on substance abuse? Ann Behav Med 21(1):54-60.

Kessler, R.C., McGonagle, K.A., Zhao, S., Nelson, C.B., Hughes, M., Eshleman, S., Wittchen, H. H,-U, & Kendler, K.S. (1994). Lifetime and 12-month prevalence of DSM-III-R psychiatric disorders in the United

States: Results from the national co morbidity survey. Arch. Gen. Psychiat., 51, 8-19.

Morgenstern, J.; Labouvie, E.; McCrady, B.S.; Kahler, C.W.; and Frey, R.M (1997). Affiliation with Alcoholics Anonymous after treatment: A study of its therapeutic effects and mechanisms of action. J Consult Clin Psychol 65(5):768-777.

Orford, J. (1985). Excessive appetites: A psychological view of addiction. New York: Wiley.

Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1984). The transtheoretical approach: Crossing the boundaries of therapy. Malabar, FL: Krieger.

Slobodzien, J. (2005). Poly-behavioral Addiction and the Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS), Booklocker.com, Inc., p. 5.

Whitlock, E.P. (1996). Evaluating Primary Care Behavioral Counseling Interventions: An Evidence-based Approach. Am J Prev Med 2002;22(4): 267-84.Williams & Wilkins. U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. Guide to Clinical Preventive Services. 2nd ed. Alexandria, VA.

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Healthy People 2010 (Conference Edition). Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office; 2000.

World Health Organization, (WHO). Retrieved June 18, 2005, from: http://www.who.int/topics/obesity/en/

According to the World Health Organization (June, 2005), “obesity has reached epidemic proportions globally, with more than 1 billion adults overweight - at least 300 million of them clinically obese - and is a major contributor to the global burden of chronic disease and disability. This article purports that the poor prognosis in treating patients with obesity may possibly be due to not diagnosing and treating thier other poly-behavioral addictions simultaneously. This systematic underdiagnostic standard in the field of addictions could be due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are presently incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple behavioral and substance abuse addictions. The Addictions Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed as a first step in fighting this global War on Poly-behavioral Addictions.

About the author:

James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC, is a Hawaii licensed psychologist and certified substance abuse counselor who earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology. The National Registry of Health Service Providers in Psychology credentials Dr. Slobodzien. He has over 20-years of mental health experience primarily working in the fields of alcohol/ substance abuse and behavioral addictions in medical, correctional, and judicial settings. He is an adjunct professor of Psychology and also maintains a private practice as a mental health consultant.

Behavioral-Addictions.html

Owning Your Power

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:24:00 +0000

Owning your power, your power to be real, to be who you really are, is really about owning your freedom. Consider how your reasons for not being yourself may have been to get the love or approval of others. Then, you have given others the power to decide your way of being, and thus keeping yourself from being free. In many ways, you have been giving away your power/freedom by your ways of speaking and thinking, and being.

For example, when you say or think something like, "That person makes me angry," you have given your power/freedom to decide whether or not to be angry, to that person. You have said that you are powerless, and that that person has the power to decide when you will be angry.

You can choose to not do that any more.

It would be more appropriate to say something like, "I get angry when that person does that." In that way, you get to see that you are the one that has made you angry, and also that you can decide to feel that, or something else.

No one but you "makes you" feel angry, or sad, or depressed, or happy, or sexy, or bored, etc. Since you are now in the process of deciding for yourself about your life, and your choices, and your actions, and your feelings, and what you see, why not own your decision-making power on all levels?

Be aware of the words that you use, because they do form the basis of your thought patterns. Listen to your words, and notice whether they reflect your freedom to decide for yourself what you feel or do.

Do you say, "Let me do this," asking for permission, or do you express your desires by saying, "I would like to do this," or even "I am going to do this?" Do you say, "That person manipulated me," or "I allowed myself to be manipulated?" Whatever you have been doing that has not been working for you, you can choose to not do any more.

Have you kept yourself from expressing what you really wanted to because of what you thought someone else would think? Then, you have given control of your power of speech to that person.

You are free, you know. Are you willing to own your freedom?

Have you kept yourself from looking at something or someone because of what another person might think? Then, you have given your freedom of choice to see what you want, to that person.

Have you kept yourself from doing what you want because of what another person would think? You have given away your freedom of action. You have kept yourself from speaking, from acting, from seeing what was real for you. Clear vision is related to allowing yourself to be real, and trusting that - in fact, insisting on that.

In owning your freedom, you must also be willing to recognize others' freedom. No one gives you your freedom - it's already yours. It's just up to you to be free. In the same way, you do not give others their freedom. You may only acknowledge that they have it.

When you do something, others are free to feel about it as they choose. For you, though, you are just being real, and acting with love and freedom as your motivations. If you are misunderstood, you can choose to clear the misunderstanding through communication. It is not necessary for you to change your way of Being because of the way another feels. If you choose to change, it must be because it makes sense to you to do things another way.

In the same way, if another person does something that you choose to feel not-good about, that's your choice. That person, too, is free. If the not-good feeling is the result of a misunderstanding, it can be cleared through communication. Don't assume anything. Ask, and then know.

If the not-good feeling is the result of attachments you need to release on your path to clarity and freedom, you can find another way of thinking and feeling that feels better for you, one in which you are not deciding what the other person should do differently, but rather what you need to do differently.

If you expect the other person to change their way of Being because of the way you feel, then you are wanting to control that person. If you don't want to be controlled, are you willing to stop controlling?

Perhaps in the past, when you've looked at a situation which you did not consider optimal, you've decided what someone else should have done differently, or should do differently in the future. When you really own your power and your freedom, you do not do that any more - rather, you only decide what you could have done differently then, and what you can do differently from now on, in the future. When you are sincere about this, your thoughts are included in the process, as well. As long as you find yourself thinking what other people should do, or think, or feel, you have not totally owned your power or your freedom.

If you want to own your freedom, are you willing to recognize others' freedom as well? Then, you also see that you do not make others sad, but they may decide to feel that way when you do something. You do not make them happy, either - they choose to feel that when you do something.

No matter what you do, or say, some people will approve, and others will not. You have the freedom to decide which people you will be with. If you choose to be with those who judge you, you may feel like a weed in a garden, constantly feeling as though you need to defend yourself and your way of Being.

You can choose instead to be okay with being judged, knowing that you're just being who you are, and that others are free to feel what they like about that. They may be judging you by their standards, but you are living by your own standards. You can also choose to be with those people who do not judge you, but rather appreciate you for who you are. You can then feel freer, and more relaxed about being real, being who you really are. You'll see that you weren't a weed, but rather just a flowe rin the wrong garden.

Perhaps in the past you've tended to change yourself, to be someone different from who you really are, in order to be loved, in order to get love. If you would like to know that you're loved for whom you are, then you have to be who you really are, and let that be the image that's loved.

Love can not be solicited. It must flow freely, and be freely given. Then, you know that it's real. If you create an image in order to be loved, and people love the image, you still do not feel loved for who you really are.

If the expressions of love are solicited, asked for, then you do not really know that they would be there if you did not ask for them. You would still not be sure of the love. Notice when the expressions of love come freely from others, when you're being real. Then, you'll know that they come because the others choose to express their love, and you'll know it's real. When you know the love is there, open and feel it.

Sometimes, expressions of love are misunderstood, because we've all been taught different ways of expressing the love that we feel. The way some people express their love is sometimes misunderstood as love being taken away. The misunderstandings can be resolved through communication, though, so that expressions of love afterwards can be those which enhance the experience of the person receiving them, something that feels good for them.

Remember to express your love in that way, too. Express your love in the way that you would like others to express their love with you, in a way that results in their feeling good, in a way that you would be happy to be on the receiving end of.

You have the power/freedom to be who you really are, to be where you really want to be, with whom you would really like to be (if they would really like to be with you), doing what you would really like to do. Others, too, have the same power/freedom.

If you find yourself not honestly able to say, "I love where I am. I love who I'm with. I love what I'm doing," then something has to change. You have the power/freedom to make that change.

If it's a situation in which you do not feel happy, you have three choices:

1. Change the situation. Re-arrange it.

2. Change the way you see the situation.

3. Leave the situation, and find another.

If the situation, for example, is your job, you can change it so that you're doing something there that's more meaningful for you. Or, you can look at it in another way that feels better for you so that you feel happy in it (but it must be real for you). If you do not do either of these, then perhaps you need to be doing something different, in a different job, so that you can look forward each day to spending time and energy there.

If it's your home, does it feel like home to you? If not, re-arrange it so that it does. Otherwise, choose to see it as really perfect for you right now. Otherwise, move.

If you really believe that these changes are too vast for you, that you "can't" make them, you have given away your power/freedom. It isn't that you are not able to make the changes, but rather that you have chosen not to. You still

have the power to create your life the way you would really like it to be. You have the power/freedom to change what has not been working for you, to change that which has not resulted in your being as happy as you would like to be.

Do you find yourself with people you do not really enjoy being with? If so, you have given away your power to be happy to them.

You don't have to do that any more.

If you have given away your power, you can take it back. It's still yours. Own it.

Your power/freedom also includes your choice to change those patterns within yourself that you recognize have not been optimal, that have been the result of misperceptions, limited ways of seeing.

Your attachments and addictions stand between you and freedom. When you are free, you are able to decide in each moment what you would like to do, and what makes sense to do. You do not allow yourself to be controlled by past programs.

When you are addicted to something, and you don't get it, you feel not-good. The degree of the not-good feeling shows the degree of attachment or addiction. You can choose to not give your power to your attachments, or to the object of your attachments. Non-attachment is freedom.

It isn't detachment. Detachment is removal of all feelings. Non-attachment allows positive feelings of joy when you have. When there's something you don't have, you are able to focus your attention on what you do have.

If, for example, you are attached to a lobster dinner, and you don't get it, you are not free to enjoy what you do have. When you are not attached, you can enjoy a salad, or a steak, and if you have a lobster, really enjoy it, too.

If you're attached or addicted to a person, when you're with them, you're spending time worrying about when you will not be with them, and when they are not there, you spend your time missing them, and not being present with the people who are with you. That isn't freedom.

You have the power and the freedom to be totally present wherever you are, enjoying whatever is happening.

Others do not have to change their way of Being because of your attachments, and you don't have to change your way of Being because of the addictions of others.

You take total responsibility for yourself, and everything you think, do, and say - and you acknowledge that others have the responsibility for everything they choose to think, do, or say.

Do not decide what other people think, or will do in any given situation, because actually, you don't really know - that's their responsibility. You just need to examine your own consciousness, and what happens in it.

Others are free to want what they want, and you are free to say yes or no to that. It's okay for them to want, and it's okay for you to not want. In the same way, you are free to want what you want, and they are free to not want the same thing. When you both want the same thing, there is free agreement, and then something can happen.

Otherwise, you can agree to disagree, and each of you can find happiness and satisfaction in your own respective ways.

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and to their own thoughts and wishes - and you are free.

Review your movie, the one in which you are not only the star, but also the director. Be the audience too. What were the effects of your actions and words? Could you have written a better script for yourself? If so, what would you have done differently? Could you have acted with more love, more understanding? Replay the situation in your mind, doing it differently, and see the different ending. Decide that if the situation presents itself again, you will replay it in the new way. Dedicate yourself to the decision. Then, you have changed yourself for the better, because it was your choice, and you've learned what you needed to.

You must also realize that things happened the way they had to, with the chemistry of the people involved, in order to have the result that needed to happen. Next time, however, you'll be able to achieve the same result more harmoniously.

Continue to do this until you are honestly able to give your movie and your character great reviews. If you saw that movie in a theater, you would have thought it a fabulous movie, with an inspirational star - you! You would have recommended the movie to your friends, and enjoyed seeing it again.

Notice what your reasons are for doing things. What are your motivations? In a given situation, are you making the fear choice or the freedom choice? Are you doing things because that's what you really choose to do, or are you doing things (or not doing things) because of fear? Trust your instincts, and what's real for you, and do what you really want to do.

Did you keep yourself from being who you really are because you thought you had to, and find out afterwards that you didn't really have to? Then, the basis for your decision and your action was fear. Make a decision that you don't have to do that any more. You can be who you really are, and people will enjoy you even more. When you do what you really want to do, something wonderful always happens.

Is love your motivation, or is it guilt? Do you do things to avoid feeling guilty, because you would feel guilty not doing them? Or do you act clearly, doing what you really want to do, as an expression of love?

If you have been having fear or guilt as your motivations, do you want to continue that way? You don't have to, you know.

You can make a conscious choice, a deep decision, to not have fear or guilt or anger controlling your life, but rather to act as a free conscious Being. When you do that, then from that moment on, if you discover that your decision to be a certain way, or do (or not do) a certain thing is based on

fear, guilt, or anger, you dedicate yourself to making a different decision. Then, you are not allowing yourself to be controlled by past patterns of being or doing, but really living your freedom.

You really are free. You just have to own your freedom, and be free. Not only will you feel better and enjoy your life a lot more, but you will also be releasing patterns which were associated with the impaired vision. You will truly be returning to clarity.

You're free to think the way you choose, and love the way you choose, and act the way you choose.

People who love you enjoy seeing you happy the way you really like to be happy, being the fullest expression of your Being, being real, being all that you can be. People who love you really want to see you being successful.

It's up to you, though.

You have the power and the freedom to be real, to be happy, to be successful, to be fulfilled.

See clearly what is real for you.

And live it.

While we've been taught that it's a good thing to be ourselves - necessary, in fact - we have also been taught in so many ways that we have to not be ourselves in order to please other people, and that it's a good thing to please other people, to make others happy.

Then, it seems to be a choice between making others happy, on the one hand, and being ourselves, making ourselves happy, on the other hand.

If you have been choosing to not be yourself so that others would be happy, you have decided that pleasing others was more important than really being yourself. That was a beautiful expression of your love, but at a high cost to you, and your ease of Being, and your health. Ease of Being is associated with health. Not being yourself requires an investment in energy, which is also known as stress, an unhealthy element from anyone's point of view.

What makes more sense is to shift your priorities so that being real is more important - and, in fact, a necessary part of any healing process.

You can still enjoy expressing your love in any way that works for you, and yet knowing the importance of being real. Being yourself. All the time.

With clarity, and love.

(from Improve Your Vision, by Martin Brofman, Ph.D.)

http://www.healer.ch

Martin Brofman, PhD, created the Body Mirror System of Healing, and A Vision Workshop, as the result of his research into the body-mind connection, and from what he learned healing himself of terminal cancer in 1975. He has been working with and teaching these methods around the world since that time. He is the author of Anything Can Be Healed, and Improve Your Vision, both published by Findhorn Press. His self-help books have been translated into ten languages.

He is the founder and director of the Brofman Foundation for the Advancement of Healing, dedicated to promoting healing in the world, and coordinating the activities of the various instructors teaching his methods. He believes and works with the idea that we are all healers, and that anything can be healed.

healer@healer.ch

PASSING JUDGMENT ON MEN

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:23:00 +0000

PASSING JUDGEMENT ON MEN

A Self-Destructive and Addictive Behaviour

At one time or another most women have indulged in a session of male criticism with their girlfriends. This is an addictive ritual many women allow themselves when they are feeling fed up with the men in their lives. Addictive; because it sets off a chain reaction. Once a group of women get started with their complaints about their not so perfect partners, the remaining women in the group tend to join in and a huge bonding session begins about how ‘awful’ men are. Unfair generalisations are made, and these conversations really become destructive to women’s self-esteem and their male/female relationships.

The more that women that indulge in these so-called bonding session with their girlfriends or simply carry around this negative type of thinking, the more addictive and negative these thought processes become and this kind of talk tends to become a natural reaction to any upset concerning their male partners. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with venting when angry or upset, however there is a difference between healthy venting to a female friend and constantly whinging and whining to each another about men in general. Perhaps some women really don’t understand how destructive and negative this behaviour is.

Women may ask: What about men with misogynist attitudes towards women, who that treat women badly. Misogynistic men exist, make no mistake, however not all men are misogynists. Most men are genuine, decent, caring human beings who want to be loved, just as women do. Before I go any further on, I would like to point out that I do not advocate any woman remaining in a relationship with a man who is abusive emotionally or physically. This article is about women who are somewhat dissatisfied with their male partner. I am hoping that instead of disparaging and judging the men in their lives they would like effect change in a positive way.

How many times do some women, when angry at their men, make generalised statements attacking the men in their lives or for that matter every man in the universe? Some examples could be:

ð§Men are inconsiderate
ð§Men are selfish
ð§Men are liars
ð§Men cause women pain

Could it be possible that we as women can turn these generalised statements into positive affirmations about men? These statements could read:

ð§Men are considerate
ð§Men are generous
ð§Men are honest
ð§Men give us happiness

It is possible that once we focus on having a positive frame of mind, a few more positive affirmations could be added to this list? Like attracts like, and positive actions and words will attract the positive. If you look for the negative aspects within your relationships with men, you will find them. If women really believe all of these negative statements about their men exist, then it is highly possible these negative qualities lie within themselves. The saying: “What we see in others somewhere exists in us,” is true. Attempting to change our negative beliefs into positive beliefs is no easy task, however it can be done. Negative thoughts and feelings have become an addiction in society. This could be the first step towards narrowing the gap between men and women and breaking free of our negative addictions. Perhaps its time women had a close look at themselves and really search with their hearts and minds for the truth here. Women are more than capable to bring about some changes here; after all we are the nurturers and caregivers of society. We can turn this negative thinking around and make it positive, all we need is to tap into our potential as women.

It is also possible that when we make a habit of putting men down, women are unknowingly destroying any chance of intimacy and closeness with the men in their lives. Men know women do this. Does any woman out there truly believe that men aren’t aware of the fact that we talk negatively behind their backs? Well they know. Men know when we are holding in negative thoughts, and they detest this kind of behaviour. Men see this as manipulative behaviour and they would prefer honest communication. When we constantly complain about our men, any chance of developing our relationship into a loving one goes down the toilet. Do women really believe that their man will open up to them if they are constantly put down and criticized? Not a chance and men would crazy to open up under those circumstances.

Men do want intimacy and they want to open up to women, but they don’t know how. Men were trained from childhood not to show their feelings. In today’s society it is starting to become more acceptable for men to open up; however a lot of men still don’t feel it’s safe to open up. As women, we could be more aware and understanding of this, given that opening up to our feelings is much easier for us, because we find it a completely natural thing to do. Women are relationship and emotion oriented, whereas men are thinkers and solution orientated. Women also need to remember that men express intimacy differently, they create situations of intimacy by doing certain things for us and men don’t share their feelings in the same way that a woman may share feelings with a close girlfriend. Your man is not the same as your best girlfriend.

Some women quite often demand intimacy with their man for the wrong reasons. Many women expect their men to fulfill all their emotional needs, when in the real world women should be taking care of their own needs, not expecting their man to constantly fill them up emotionally. That is not to say that a woman cannot ask her male partner to meet her needs, however she needs to be direct in her request, and that request should never be out of excessive neediness or insecurity and she should accept that her man might say no. When neediness or insecurity forms the basis of a relationship, the relationship becomes unhealthy.

As women, we can bring about change here and that does not mean trying to change your man. Attempting to change your partner will slowly erode away the trust you have built in your relationship. What woman in her right mind would actually like her man to try and change her? None of us!

Women really have the ability to start closing the gap that exists between men and women. There are things we can do, as women to enhance our male/female partnerships and become closer to the men in our lives. As women, we have natural skills, we just need to be aware of what they are and put these skills into practice.

Firstly, women should more pay more attention themselves. Do we love ourselves enough? Do we have a high level of self-esteem? Are we taking care of ourselves in the same way we would take care of our partner? These acts of love to ourselves are essential to a healthy, loving relationship with our male partner. Women could also start paying clear attention to what it is that men like and need. Our man’s needs are certainly not being considered when we are busy with our girlfriends, beating up on every male in the universe. Consider this:

ð§Men like to feel encourages and appreciate for their efforts.
ð§Men like to feel recognized as very special in our lives.
ð§They would like to feel compassionate caring, and not one born out of neediness or excessive insecurity.
ð§They would like to feel loved.

Women are the carers and givers of the world and we can take the lead and set a loving example to our male partners and our women friends. Many women just do not realise the skills they have when it comes to relationships. We get very caught up with the negative aspects of our male partners and sometimes forget about the positive. Women are proactive, we can effect change if we learn how to handle and respond to certain situation. The following examples are based on some wonderful words of wisdom that I recently read in an on-line article by Nikki Katz. These ideas were a great inspiration and I share them with you now:

•Women have an outstanding capability to work as a team player and support everyone to keep things running proficiently. We, as women are good at creating a partnership with our men and therefore can further nurture and develop the relationship.

•Women are great communicators. We are good listeners and extremely proficient at delivering our message to our men. When we are talking with the men in our lives, we can be the one who sets the tone of the conversation and we can create a safe arena for open communication.

•Women are creative, we can easily come up with ideas, solutions, and suggestions for many situations and if something does not work, we try something different. Men appreciate our creative abilities; they rely on us to create ideas to keep the relationship happy and healthy.

•Women have an enormous capacity to empower and encourage ourselves and others around us. When we empower our men, we are letting him realise his ability. We can support our men to aspire to who they want to be, help ourselves realise our potential, and have our relationship progress into something amazing.

•Women have excellent nurturing skills; we know what someone needs, when they need it, and how to provide it to them. When we are nurturing the relationship, we are lovingly caring for ourselves and our partner to progress and prosper with the relationship.

•Women are tender human beings. We are naturally gentle, open and loving. Our relationships with our men need this type of cushioning against the pressures in life. When we are caring and tender to our male partners, they will respond in kind.

•Women are vulnerable and know how to communicate their weaknesses. When we are feeling safe in our relationship, it is easy to be open up and reveal ourselves. Being vulnerable is a very effective thing to do for our relationships, because we are not closing off or getting defensive. We are holding out our hands and saying “Here I am.”

•Women have the ability to be open with their feelings and thoughts. When we are being open and vulnerable, we are allowing ourselves to open up to someone else. When we are open, we create space for the relationship to be wonderful. Opening our hearts and minds to our men allows him to be himself, feel accepted, and give us his best.

•As women, we are natural receivers. We may tend to think receiving is not as powerful as giving; yet receiving is giving, it is impossible to give to our men fully if we are unable to receive. Consider the sexual act, whichever way we look at it, women are the receivers, we receive our man into our bodies. A woman’s ability to receive is a wonderful gift, as it allows our man to give to us.

•Women are the natural healers of the world. We know how to soothe someone’s pain. When our man is hurting, we can help him heal by being tender, open and loving.

•Women’s intuition has been called a myth, however it is not. Women possess excellent intuitive skills. This is our sixth sense at work. We can use this special psychic ability to understand our men, and see what our relationship needs.

•When we rely on our intuition, it is easy to envision the future – and when we envision the future, we can have it happen. As women, we can see the relationship as happy, romantic, passionate, loving, or as anything we want it to be.

These judgemental and critical attitudes have to stop. Women need to adopt an attitude of self-love and look deep into their own hearts and open up to loving the men in their lives. Criticizing our male partners keeps us firmly entrenched as victims, and that is powerless and destructive. Is that what we want? Critical, negative and hurtful statements about our male partners enlarge the emotional gap between men and women. Putting the men in our lives down stirs up our angry, negative feelings and anger is a barrier to love and intimacy.

Finally; is being right or wrong in our relationships with the men in our lives all that important? Love is more important than being right. Love means nothing when you choose negative attitudes and behaviours to being happy. Given a choice, wouldn’t we prefer love over being right? Love is the only choice.

About the Author

I am 38, and I live in Canberra in Australia. I love to write and I am currently working on my first book. I love to sing, play guitar and read. I am also and adventurer, and love the outdoors and travelling. Happy reading. Jel

Nourish Your Soul

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:22:00 +0000

(c)2001
Nourish- to feed or sustain with substances necessary for life or growth; to promote growth; to maintain or support; to nurture.

Soul- the immaterial essence, animating principle or actuating cause of an individual; the spiritual principle embodied in human beings, all
rational and spiritual beings or the universe; a person’s total self.

The holistic health field abounds with articles and books all teaching a variety of ways to nurture our souls. What exactly does all this
mean and why is so important?

Our soul being the very essence of whom and what we are is our life force and therefore it needs food on a regular basis to sustain us
and prevent us from becoming stagnant and unfulfilled with life.

So what is nourishing to the soul? The things that make you feel whole, alive, and one with the universe (or God) is your soul food.
This will vary from individual to individual, as our souls are very unique and complex, although many of us have some commonalities.
Some common sources of soul food are nature, music, dancing, deep relationships, meditation, walking, prayer and many more.

My most important source of soul food is nature. Doing things like spending time by the lake, taking walks and country rides, admiring
the cloud formations, feeding and watching the birds, feeding a stray cat, gazing at the stars and moon is what is most nourishing me.
Nature is my lifeline. It rejuvenates me and helps me to go on. It makes me feel alive, full of life and connected to the universe. There
is nothing more nourishing to me than spending a day on a blanket by my favorite lake and being intimate with nature, especially on a
warm fall day when the leaves are bursting with color. Spending it with someone I love and engaging in deep conversation is even better.
Writing, reading, certain types of music and singing along, dancing, deep relationships and prayer also nurture me.

You can discover your soul food by listening to the yearnings of your soul, by being still and tuning into your deepest voice within. Your
soul will guide you to

what it needs. Don’t ignore it and don’t put it off. Once you learn what you need, nourish it on a regular basis. If
we neglect our soul then it becomes hungry and searches for food in the wrong places, which is destructive to our lives and zaps us of
our life sustaining energy.

After years and years of neglect one becomes disconnected from their soul and gets lost. Our world is sadly full of people who neglect
their souls and the consequences of this are seen all around us in the level of addictions, violence, crime, depression, suicide, lack of
compassion and respect for one another, divorce and destruction of our planet exhibited in our society. Our culture has not been very
good at teaching us how to avoid this, perhaps because we were unaware for a long period of time, but slowly this is changing one by
one.

Don’t neglect your soul! Listen to it, nourish it, and feed it everyday. It is as important as feeding your hungry stomach. If you have
neglected your soul, it is never too late to start again. The soul has an amazing ability to recover and flourish in splendor once again.

This article may be FREELY copied, reproduced and redistributed to friends, discussion lists, websites, groups, etc., as long as the whole
article is used including my byline and links found here at the bottom.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and Holistic Health Consultant Specializing in Life Management and Support for Living with
Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, and Disability as well as Sexuality and Sexual Intimacy. FREE Newsletter and FREE 30 minute Consultation.
http://www.holistichelp.net
http://www.holistichelp.net/sexandsoul

About the Author

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and Holistic Health Consultant Specializing in Life Management and Support for Living with
Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, and Disability as well as Sexuality and Sexual Intimacy. FREE Newsletter and FREE 30 minute Consultation.
http://www.holistichelp.net
http://www.holistichelp.net/sexandsoul

Obesity, What's The 'Big' Deal

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:22:00 +0000

Obesity, what’s the “big” deal?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This article has been provided by Dr. M. Montgomery at
www.healthyunderstanding.com
Dr. Montgomery is a practicing Chiropractor in Saskatoon,
Saskatchewan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nowadays, so much of the public is obese (fat) that it is the
“norm”. So much so, that we are starting to ignore this
epidemic.

Thankfully, the Surgeon General has issued a warning about
the plague of obesity that has been considered to be as
significant or moreso than the warning issued about the
hazards of cigarette smoke.

As long as you are carrying extra weight (beyond the
acceptable upper limits of body fat), you increase your risks
for a variety of health complaints.
These complaints and risks include conditions such as
diabetes, heart attack, stroke, high blood pressure,
osteoarthritis, and more.
-----
Definition of Obesity and Overweight

Obesity has been defined as an abnormal accumulation of
body fat in proportion to body size. Overweight persons,
although still technically obese, will have a body-fat
proportion that is intermediate between normal and
obese. (1)
-----
Some Common Excuses for Being Obese

This section will probably ruffle the feathers of some
people who read it. It is not meant to be demeaning or
belittling. Rather it is meant to shed light on some of the
“unhealthy” thought patterns that contribute to obesity, its
consequences, and other conditions.

A lot of people will say to themselves and others
something like
“Yeah, I’m a bit overweight but I feel okay about
it” or “Maybe I’m carrying a few extra pounds,
but so is everyone else” or even
“I might be fat, but I can lose it anytime I want”.

Other things that you might hear someone else say are
things like “Jeez, you look pretty good …”
“for someone who just had a baby” or …
“for someone who has had three kids” (my wife
absolutely hates hearing those ‘compliments’) or
…
“for someone who hasn’t played hockey in ten
years.”

Then of course there are the “medical” excuses. “I’ve got
metabolic syndrome”, “ever since my surgery, I’ve had
no energy”, “my knees hurt”, “I have arthritis”, “It’s
hereditary”, “I’ve got asthma” …

All of the above probably have a seed of truth in them for
many people. However, more often than not, these
excuses are a way to avoid doing something that you
don’t want to do, such as getting more exercise, or
controlling your eating habits.

Why does this occur? Because we are in D.E.N.I.A.L.
(an addictions counselor/mental health worker told me
that it stood for Don’t Even (k)no(w) I Am Lying).
-----
Lifestyle Factors

Today’s life is, no doubt, incredibly hectic and seems to
be getting moreso every passing year. Gone are the days
when most people in our society must do heavy physical
labour every day just to survive. Automation has created
many labour saving devices. This in turn has created a
largely sedentary, inactive society.
Look at the kids today. Instead of being outside playing
shinny or a game of pick-up basketball, or any of
thousands of other outdoor activities, they are inside
playing video games or getting mesmerized by the T.V.

Patricia Markham Risica (2) writes that …
The number of people affected by obesity
continues to rise along with the prevalence of
comorbid diseases that result from this condition.
What could be considered the modern-day plague,
caused by higher consumption and less
expenditure of energy, has been broken down into
its economic components by Eric Finkelstein.[1,2]
The likely economic culprits for the marked
increases

observed in the 1980s and '90s include
the increased availability of higher-calorie-dense
foods, increased portion sizes, and lower overall
costs of food along with increased exposure to
television advertising of the same products. These
trends are coupled with the earlier trends from the
'60s and '70s of lower energy expenditure at work,
more women in the workforce, and not making
family meals at home. The increased prevalence
of obesity carries a parallel increased demand for
economic resources; 5% to 7% of total medical
expenditures are already being devoted to this
very costly condition.[1,3,4]

And she further writes that …

Obesity and overweight (the term preferred by the
American Academy of Pediatrics, the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention, and other
organizations when referring to children and
adolescents due to the potential negative
connotations associated with "obesity")[5]
represent a challenge of vast dimensions to the
public health community, with causes of the
epidemic permeating American society.
Americans are surrounded by facilitators of an
eat-more/expend-less society -- from the
individual and family; to the food producers,
processors, sellers, and advertisers; to the city
planners of our neighborhoods; to the business
organizations that demand our time during the day
and the media that entertain us in the evening.
Clinicians generally are not equipped to control
this epidemic that greets them every day.
Behavioral change counseling is not in their
repertoire and effective treatments are not readily
available; in fact, even when they are available,
such programs are usually not reimbursed by
third-party payers.

-----
In today’s society, the cost of eating in a healthy fashion
is more often than not, much more expensive than eating
all of the garbage that is available. Additionally, in
virtually all processed foods, there is some sort of
additive which will increase hunger and cravings.
(reminds me of a line from “So I Married An Axe
Murderer” with Mike Myers were his father was
discussing “the Colonel” and how he puts an addictive
chemical in his chicken to “make you crave it
fortnightly!”) Nowadays the home vegetable garden plot
is fast disappearing which again will limit the availability
of wholesome produce at a lower cost.

Look at artificial sweeteners. They have the ability to
artificially increase your hunger. Not only that, but when
they break down in your body, some very harmful
chemicals can appear. One particular artificial sweetener
is in over 2000 products! Think of the impact on society.
Try finding chewing gum without it.

All of the above can contribute in some small or even in
some large way to increase the increasingly present
burden of obesity.

Until next time…

Yours in Health,

Dr. M. Montgomery @ www.healthyunderstanding.com

-----

References
1. Obesity. Jonathan Q. Purnell, M.D.,
Medscape.com
2. Prevention of Overweight and Obesity: Focus on
Children and Adolescents. Patricia Markham
Risica, Dr.PH, RD, Medscape.com

Disclaimer: As always, check with your health care provider to see
if this information applies to you. Due diligence is your
responsibility. This information is meant to supplement your
knowledge, not to replace your own decision making process or take
the place of your health care provider.

This is a commercial newsletter provided free by
HealthyUnderstanding.com

This newsletter may be distributed in its entirety without alteration.
About the Author

Dr. Montgomery is the creator of www.HealthyUnderstanding.com. He is in private Chiropractic practice in Saskatoon, SK, Canada. He has practised in both Canada and Australia.

Pharmaceuticals: The Next Frontier in America's War on Drugs

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:21:00 +0000

campaigns against prescription
drug abuse as it has against, marijuana, ecstasy and
cocaine. The FDA must not be afraid to sanction drug
manufacturers who continue to make unsafe drugs where safe
alternatives exist. Pharmaceutical manufactures must become
better citizens and spend the research and development
dollars to make safe and effective drugs, rather than taking
the easy way out.

This new phase of the war on drugs, without easily targeted
foreigners to blame for America's drug abuse problems, will
take unwavering political resolve, corporate citizenship and
ingenuity. Even then it is likely to take years before the
trend of increases in prescription medicine abuse and
addiction can be reversed.

Common Prescription Drugs of Abuse:

Opioids: these are synthetic versions of opium. Intended for
pain management opioids are the most commonly abused
prescription drugs. OxyContin (oxycodone), Vicodin
(hydrocodone) and Demerol (meperidine) are the most popular
for abuse. Short-term side effects can include pain relief,
euphoria, and drowsiness. Overdose can lead to death.
Long-term use can lead to dependence or addiction.

Depressants: These drugs are commonly prescribed to treat
anxiety; panic attacks, and sleep disorders. Nembutal
(pentobarbital sodium), Valium (diazepam), and Xanax
(alprazolam) are just three of the many drugs in this
category. Immediately slow down normal brain functioning and
can cause sleepiness Long-term use can lead to physical
dependence and addiction.

Stimulants: Doctors may prescribe these to treat the
sleeping disorder narcolepsy or
attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, ADHD. Ritalin
(methylphenidate) and Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine) are two
commonly prescribed stimulants. These drugs enhance brain
activity and increase alertness and energy in much the same
way as cocaine or methamphetamine. They increase blood
pressure; speed up heart rate, and respiration. Very high
doses can lead to irregular heartbeat and hyperthermia.

© 2005, David Westbrook

About the Author: Dave Westbrook has worked in the field of
crisis intervention and addictions for several years. For
more information on prescription med abuse and other
addiction related topics visit www.addictionsresources.com

###

About the Author

Dave Westbrook has worked in the field of crisis intervention and addictions for several years. For more information on prescription med abuse and other
addiction related topics visit www.addictionsresources.com