My Cup of Joy

Moving Back

2012-08-07T13:36:00.004-06:00

I know. I am so wishy-washy.

I've really been struggling with the purpose of this blog, thinking that I was finished blogging only to have about fifteen different things pop into my head later that I want to write about. Obviously God isn't finished with these typing fingers yet!

So, I am going to keep at it. But I won't be blogging here. I've decided to move back into my old digs at Under Grace & Over Coffee. I can't help it. I miss it terribly over there. And being there is definitely like coming home again.

I hope you'll visit me in my new/old place. Anytime you feel like grabbing a cup of coffee and pulling up a chair for a nice little chat, pop on over. I'd love to see you!

Story

2012-07-06T13:33:00.000-06:00

Do you want to know one of the things I love most about being a mama and one who teaches preschooolers in her spare time?

I love reading them stories.

I love being able to crack open a favourite book, watch their faces light up at the familiar pictures, and use as many variations in voice intonations I can possibly muster up. I love introducing a new story, using stories to broaden their understanding of the world, or just make a little one feel safe. I love the way a new story inspires wonder, the way a silly story elicits giggles, the way another will make a child feel like maybe they aren't so alone in being afraid of the dark. Or monsters. Or riding a bicycle.

I love sharing my favourites from childhood, helping my kids understand me and who I am a little better, sharing a hidden, mysterious part of my life with them that they in turn will hopefully share with their kids one day.

I love how stories draw us together.

No wonder Jesus used so many of them Himself. I wonder which ones He told us that He heard as a child, too.

What's your favourite childhood story? Hands down mine is Charlotte's Web.

Linking up with 5 Minute Fridays and Caffeinated Randomness.

Not just a dimple on an elbow

2012-07-03T11:09:00.000-06:00

I've had two questions running through my mind lately:

What if I lived like Jesus meant what He said?
What if I lived like my life mattered to the body of Christ?

My life would be so different. And that bothers me. I want to think that I already live this way, but the truth is I'm really good at making God fit into my life instead of fitting my life into His.

The last question really hit me today. I was having my quiet time and one of the questions was how does Romans 12:4-8 shed light on what motivates me. I realized that rather than remembering that I am one part of a bigger body, that my actions, no matter how insignificant they may seem to me, have a large impact on the body of Christ as a whole. Much larger than I think. I tend to make everything about Andrea, when the reality is I need to be making everything, absolutely everything, about Him and His kingdom.

What I say.
What I think.
What I do.

How I spend my time.
How I take care of myself.
How I serve others.

With the things I love to do.
With the things I tolerate doing.
With the things I am called to do.

Every single thing motivated by my love for Jesus. By my desire to obey Him. And how it impacts the rest of the body.

I may just be a dimple on an elbow, but without me, His body would not be the same.

Without you, His body would not be the same.

What's motivating you today?

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function,so in Christ we, though many, form one body,and each member belongs to all the others. Romans 12:4-5

Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria.

So7: I am not possessed

2012-06-28T14:56:00.001-06:00

This is the third in a series of installments for the Summer of 7, based on the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. Head over to The Poorganic Life for more on this blogging experiment!

So this past week I was supposed to be focusing on possessions. I say supposed to be because, well, I kind of only did this week half-heartedly. More like quarter-heartedly, because after Saturday, I honestly didn't give it another thought.

There are two ~~excuses~~ reasons for this laziness of mine: 1) I kind of already did a major purge of everything I could get my hands on during my crazy nesting phase this past February. We also did a huge one as a family in November as we were readying our basement for renovations. And I'm a purger by nature - I hate keeping stuff I don't need/use. So I kind of felt that spending yet another week trying to get rid of more stuff was a bit overkill, not to mention extremely stress-inducing for my poor husband who is a keeper-of-things; and 2) We had a yard sale on Saturday at my in-laws in which we got rid of the stuff from our basement purge. It was very satisfying.

But as I sat here yesterday justifying in my head why I didn't do anything else after Saturday, I realized that just as we can be overly consumed with our stuff, we can also be overly unconcerned with it. (Oh, grammar police, please be gentle with me!)

I'm not a keeper-of-things. I use my stuff until I've used up its usefulness and then I get rid of it. Done. But I realized that maybe I'm not as appreciative of the things I do have. I may not be out there buying the next biggest thing, but that doesn't mean I'm not wishing I had it. Or that I'm not just a little covetous when I see the cool stuff my neighbours have.

I've been reading a totally unrelated book by Gary Thomas, called Sacred Influence. Thomas talks a lot about how we as wives can better understand our husbands, or the male gender in general. One of the things he emphasizes is rather than focusing on our spouse's (or anyone's) weaknesses, we instead focus on his strengths. It's pretty hard to be anything but appreciative of someone when you look at them in this way!

I need to start doing that with pretty much everything in my life. I'm good at being critical, but maybe it's time for me to instead focus on the strengths of things I already possess. Not only, do I suspect, will it make me more grateful for what I have, but less likely to to treat it with the laissez-faire attitude I generally have towards my stuff. Maybe instead of just seeing it as stuff, I'll begin to see them for the gifts they really are.

Up next: Media (think TV, the internet, etc). Oh, crud. Now the real work begins!

I like it this way

2012-06-25T14:12:00.003-06:00

You wanna know something funny?

Now that I have given myself permission to not worry about sticking with a set purpose for this blog, I find myself wanting to write again.

I'm so weird like that - as soon as I try to box myself in, I want to run far, far away and hide. Because really, you know what I do best in this little ol' blogging world? Just literally writing about whatever happens to be popping through my caffeine-laden head at the time.

Sometimes profound. Often not.

And I think I like it like that.

(There were a lot of "k"'s in that sentence!)

So, if you happen to stop by here on occasion, expect random posts about the cutest little baby ever, more gushing over my renewed love of running (I say renewed because I started last summer, had to stop because of said cutest little baby ever, and have been slowly getting back into it since the middle of May), and my new found love of athletic skirts (too bad I made a deal with myself to not buy any new clothes for the rest of the summer!). And of course, the stuff God manages to get through my thick head every once in awhile. I'm so glad He's patient!!

Oh, also I need to brag. Cutest little baby ever has been sleeping every night for 10+ hours for the past week. My mother-in-law said he should be a role model for other cute babies. I tend to agree.

So basically, expect much of the same. Just maybe a little more frequently!

_________________

Speaking of cute babies who are total miracles, go check out this series of posts over at Amy in Wanderland. Her "baby" is a bit older than my little man, but they have experienced some crazy amazing stuff this past weekend - God is so good!

2012-06-22T09:13:00.000-06:00

There was a time a few years ago where I ate, breathed, and slept blogging. I loved being able to just sit down, start typing, and watch the words flow. It surprised me how many people actually stopped by my little corner of the internet every day to read my random thoughts. I was floored when I was asked to contribute to two really amazing magazine sites. And I was sad when life began changing and writing had to take a backseat, because it was like saying goodbye to a close friend.

Last fall when we first had Ty's diagnosis, I naturally turned to writing through it. I needed to. Writing is so therapeutic for me. I'm not very good at speaking what I feel, but writing is a whole different story. So I started this blog to not only share my little man's story, but to help me get through it.

Now that we finally have confirmation that the worst is behind us, I honestly don't know what to do with this little space. When I wrote for my old blog (I imported all the old posts from it to here in case you are ever really, really bored or need an excuse to avoid housework. You're welcome.), I had a purpose. I felt so strongly led to use it as a tool of encouragement. This one is a bit different. I really started it for me. I was hoping that if anyone actually did stumble upon it and read our journey that they would also be encouraged, but I didn't really think much beyond that.

So all that to say I'm not sure where this little blog is heading. So if it gets a little quiet around here, or you notice some dust gathering in the corners, it's probably because I am busy enjoying our little mister (and his siblings, of course).

Enjoy your summer, friends. And thanks for stopping by.

Doing a great big praise you Jesus happy dance!

2012-06-20T19:39:00.000-06:00

It is over!

This morning I received a call from my doctor's office with the results of Ty's brain ultrasound we had done last week. When Ty was born in March, the NICU team had an ultrasound done to see if there were any concerns. I'm not one hundred percent clear if this was done because of his omphalocele or because of his arrival (it was pretty scary) or both, but when the initial scan was done, it showed a grey area on his brain that the doctors question marked. At the time they weren't sure if it was just a shadow from interference, or brain damage.

At Ty's last check-up with his NICU doctor, we asked if we could have a follow-up ultrasound done, especially once the doctor noted that his muscle tone was a bit softer than he'd like to see. Last Thursday we brought him in, had it done. And then proceeded to wait.

Have I ever mentioned I hate waiting?!

Anyway, this morning a lovely girl from my doctor's office called and asked to speak to Ty. I didn't know if I should laugh or not. I mean, she was very welcome to speak to my three month old, but I doubt she would have gotten much more out of him than "ahhhh ooooh bbbbbbbbbbbbbb!" But she is easily my favourite person today, because once I explained to her I was Ty's mama she gave me the wonderfully awesome news that his ultrasound was completely, absolutely, totally normal.

Normal!!

I got off the phone and cried tears of joy. And relief. For ten long months we've had this fear in the back of our minds, constantly following us everywhere, of what if. And while I fully trusted God with my little man and knew no matter the outcome that He had my boy in His hands and a purpose for his little life, still there is no erasing that fear. You just learn to focus on God instead of it.

That last hurdle has been cleared.

And I've been doing happy dances all day long.

But you know what, more than the fact that God answered our prayers for Ty, I gotta say that I am in awe of how He answered my other prayers these past ten months. For helping me learn to trust Him instead of outcomes. For joy amidst the pain and fear. For His name to be glorified and praised.

What fills me with awe is knowing that there is no way for me to know just how many people covered our little man with their prayers. Or just how many prayers were lifted up for him. How many people called on our Mighty Father on our behalf.

You know, don't ever take for granted the prayers you offer for someone else. Seriously. It's not so much what you say or how you say it.

But that you said it at all.

Thank you so much to every single person who prayed for us during this season. There is no way I can even begin to express my love and gratitude to you. Just, thank you.

So7: There's no closet organizer big enough for this job

2012-06-19T11:35:00.000-06:00

If you're following along with my sort-of Summer of 7 journey, this week was supposed to be about clothes. I'm quickly discovering that God had a different idea when it comes to cleaning out my closets. And it is not pretty.

What I thought a few weeks ago was more about physical junk, quickly turned into my spiritual state. It's not unusual for me to get complacent and begin to overlook the things in my life that I am comfortable with, to make room for them even though they have no place in my life. I knew that I was needing to do a good, thorough spring cleaning, but I was not prepared for God to go into the closets and dark corners that He has opened up.

In my every day, real life, I'm really a bit of a closet slob. In the living area of our home (when no one but me and my little guy are here, that is), my house is clean. Stuff seems to be put away, the dirt is swept up, you can actually see the counter tops.

What you can't see is the way I've thrown stuff in my plastics cupboard, all of it waiting to fall out the minute I crack open the door. Or the pile of stuff on the bottom of my closet that I am too lazy to put away. Or the catch-all our office has become because, well, I'm too lazy to put stuff away!

I've become that way in my spiritual self, too. On the surface, it looks pretty good. But I've got stuff tucked away in forgotten rooms, thrown in piles in dark corners, overflowing in closets just waiting to spill out.

So while a few weeks ago I posted that my closet exploded it was so full of clothes and other miscellaneous stuff waiting to be dealt with, that's how I'm feeling in my head right now about all these things God is addressing.

He's emptied all those hidden places, made a big huge pile, and is holding up each item one by one and asking me "Now, what are you going to do with this?"

I could be wrong, but I'm guessing He's really not going to be too keen on me keeping any of it.

And I think I might be okay with that.

Linking up with other Summer of 7 participants, and with Soli Deo Gloria.

So7: Celery made me cry

2012-06-13T11:50:00.000-06:00

If you saw my post last week on the Summer of 7 Facebook group happening, incredibly enough, this summer, you may have correctly deduced that I myself am participating in some form or another.

Last week I decided to take the plunge and let the entire world know I am crazy. As if they didn't already know. And so I began tackling the problem of food waste in our home.

A disclaimer here: I am not fasting. I am a breast-feeding mama who, while trying to shed these pregnancy pounds that have lovingly and well-worthily (I just made up a word. 'Cause I can.) attached themselves to my hips and every other area of myself, needs to eat. So I'm not about fasting from food at this time. I did toy with fasting from sweets, but honestly, as much I tend to feel guilty for eating them (leftover from some issues I dealt with a couple of years ago. Sigh.) I don't actually them that much, so abstaining from them wouldn't have actually made much difference. At least, that's what I tell myself!

While going through the 7 book club, I also read Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food. My family is still waiting for me to stop talking about the evils of the food industry. In fact, just yesterday my ten year old Hannah asked me if the milk in our fridge was the good stuff or the bad stuff. I kind of looked at her funny and asked her what she meant. She said, "Well, like the jug with the yellow lid (as opposed to the purple lidded stuff I picked up from Costco) says it is partly-skinned. It has skin in it!"

True story. I love my kids.

Anyway, while reading both books, I became immediately aware of the food waste in our home. I started ~~nagging~~ gently reminding my kids to stop leaving uneaten food out, or to not take three bites of an apple and then put the rest in the fridge to die a slow death because no one knows who took said bites out of said apple and therefore will not touch it.

And then last Wednesday or Thursday I saw the celery.

Right after reading In Defense of Food, I had a grocery shopping trip to make, in which I dutifully did my very best to buy food in its real form rather than in a box. I filled with my cart with tons of fresh veggies and fruit, unprocessed meats, and as few canned items as possible, checking to make sure there were actual ingredients in the cans rather than things my great-grandmother wouldn't have recognized. Michael Pollan would have been proud.

I grabbed a bunch of celery because I fully intended to make myself some soup with it. As a rule, I don't like celery, unless it is drowned in cream cheese or spinach dip. But I do love it in soups. So there it was, sitting in my fridge, waiting for a rainy day of which I was hopeful because we have had the most windy, rainy spring and summer ever on the history of the earth, even though our Environment Canada experts have predicted a hot and dry summer.

Two weeks later, the celery was still in my fridge. Darn warm spell.

When I spied the poor celery, I almost cried. There it was, shoved off to the side, slowly rotting in its bag while all the other stuff was being eaten. It was the first day (for me) of the Summer of 7, and I wasn't about to let that celery go to waste. I took it out, cleaned it up, and salvaged about half of it for my freezer. Ironically enough, we are back to rain again. Just in time to make some soup!

I wondered how I had ever gotten to the point where I could take for granted such an abundance of good, fresh food available to us that I would just buy whatever and toss it if I didn't happen to want to use it. You know, in the past I have thrown so much food out on a weekly basis, its embarrassing. As I was chatting with God about it on the weekend (yes, I chat. I'm extremely un-spiritual. I'm much more comfortable chatting/talking with God than trying to formalize a prayer.) it just hit me so hard that here we have so much and we're hoarding it for ourselves instead of sharing it with those in need. Yesterday I was thinking about the auction house that gets all the leftover, unwanted produce from Costco, the excess that no one wants and is starting to spoil. If no one buys it, it gets tossed. And yet how many babies and children are starving while we sit surrounded by spoiled food we have too much of?

That's just wrong.

My friend saw the post I had made on the Facebook group about my celery and promptly sent me a link to a blog post with instructions on how to grow new celery in your kitchen from the stubby bottom of the old bunch. I salvaged that stubby bottom where it is now happily sprouting new growth on my kitchen window, a reminder to not only be mindful of not wasting what we've got, but to look for opportunities to share it.

I have a long way to go. While my week of focusing on food is coming to a close, I'm not going to shut it down. I'm working on using up the food we have before it spoils (novel thought), of actually eating our leftovers (I strongly dislike leftovers!). I'm also starting to find ways to buy more of our fresh food locally. I was thrilled to be reminded of a greenhouse that is open year round literally just down the road from us. Our grocery store in our small town sells fresh farm eggs. And not too far from us is a place that I can buy all local meats.

I used to use living in a small town as an excuse not to make the effort to buy local, because I wasn't paying attention to the opportunities to do so. I love when God opens our eyes and allows us to see the things right in front of us that were there all along.

This coming week I'll be tackling my clothes. Although, I kinda feel like I have an unfair advantage right now, because I just cleaned out my closet of all my maternity, pre-maternity, and pre-pre-maternity stuff (the stuff I hung on to in case I actually lost the other 15ish pounds I found somewhere along the way, well before I could blame it on growing a baby. You know of what I speak.). Still, there's lots of room for improvement!

Linking up with other Summer of 7 participants. For full details on the Summer of 7, go here.

The Summer of 7

2012-06-06T13:58:00.002-06:00

You are so going to be sick of me chatting up 7 and freaking you out about it before the end of this day. But I'm not sorry. *wink*

So some lovely bloggers have decided after reading that book that shall remain nameless-but-is-called-Seven-in-its-numerical-form that they are going to do a Summer of 7: fasting from one area of excess each week for the seven-ish weeks of summer. (being in Canada, it might be closer to four weeks, but whatever. Details, details!)

They even have a Facebook page. You should go check it out. I'm just sayin'.

(Does anyone even say that anymore? I'm a little suspicious that I may be on the verge of un-hipness, being the mom of a teenager and all.)

Are you still here? Go join the craziness!

Maybe interruptions aren't as bad as we think

2012-06-06T10:32:00.000-06:00

If 7 broke me, Jan Hatmaker's book, Interrupted, is about to be my ruin.

I finished up 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess this week. Whew. I loved this book and hated it at exactly the same time. Loved it because it is so full of good truth. Hated it because the truth was about me. And it wasn't pretty.

I've been struggling with that "something's just not right" feeling for ages. It's more than just about the clutter in our lives. I've been guilty, guilty, guilty of feeding the excess in our closets for far too long. Of course, I could get all high and mighty about it because it was just stuff for me and I could hide it in my closet while telling my family that their stuff was junk and responsible for making the constant mess that is our house.

You know that verse in Hebrews about throwing off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles? Yeah. My stuff has me so entangled I couldn't even see it for what it was.

So there I am, wishing I could make my toes stop hurting, when I start to read Interrupted. I knew it was another must read for me - my Bible Babes and I are doing Priscilla Shirer's study on Jonah, whose subtitle just happens to be Navigating a Life Interrupted.

(I'm sensing a theme. I'm smart like that.)

I'm not even a quarter of the way into the book and I am wrecked. If my eyes were opened during 7, now the blinders have been stripped away, the windows thrown open, and all the lights have been turned on. To see my heart under this kind of spotlight just makes me feel nauseous.

I thought I had gotten away from trying to be that good, Christian girl. You know the one. The one who signs up for everything, never misses a Sunday, wears her good shoes to church. The one who has a smiley, happy mask on, even though she just finished yelling at her kids in the van all the way to church because honestly, must they fight about (insert just about anything here______) again?!

Turns out, I'm not as far removed from that as I would like to think I am. I discovered that while I really do love Jesus, I've been content to simply study my Bible and learn all sorts of good stuff without ever actually doing 90% of what God says.

Which is ironic, because in January I just did Beth Moore's study on James, who is famous for telling us that faith without works is useless (see James 2:20). Oh, and also my One Word is obey (that I've conveniently put on the back burner, because seriously? It's HARD.).

I've allowed myself to settle for a mediocre faith that talks a good game but does very little. That thinks it is all about me and what I can get out of it.

And the worst part is, I've modeled that for my kids. And then wonder why they're so caught up in the things of this world, too.

Wrapped up in all that is the other underlying theme that I just realized has been repeating itself all year: Justice and Mercy.

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

Is not this the kind of fastingI have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Isaiah 58:6

I don't really know what all this is going to look like in the coming months. I'm actually rather glad I don't, because I'd probably high-tail it out of here!

I just know that at the end, when He puts me back together again I'm not going to be the same. And that is very much a good thing.

(Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria this week.)

I'm not old enough for teenagers

2012-05-25T15:07:00.002-06:00

I'm stressing out a little over here at the idea of having a teenager.

Okay, a LOT.

In just three short days, my baby girl is turning 13. I don't even WANT to think about how old that makes me. Didn't I just turn 23 like yesterday?!

I am so not ready for this.

Thankfully, my almost-thirteen-year-old is of the mature and responsible variety. She even planned her own party, set it up, and told me what kind of food she planned on serving. Of course, she fully expects ME to make all the food. And that is why tonight I will be treating her and her friends to the BBQ concession across the street from us that has been set up specifically for her birthday. Or maybe it's for the town garage sales going on this weekend. Whatever. The point is I don't have to cook!

I did do the nice mommy thing and make her this cute (and super easy) flip flop cake:

Thank you Pinterest and Betty Crocker. You make having an almost-teenager doable.

Linking up with Michelle for some Friday Randomness.

My toes hurt

2012-05-23T14:07:00.001-06:00

Oh my word.

Seriously, if God ever tells you to read a book, you'd better get you some steal-toed boots. Either that or run really, really far away.

Oh, wait. You can't outrun God. Better get those boots.

Last week I felt a nudge (okay, more like a shove) to dig in to Jen Hatmaker's book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. I joined an online book club co-hosted by Amy, downloaded the book to my Kindle, and started reading.

I'll be honest. When I first started reading, I kinda thought the author was a little cuckoo. I mean, the whole premise is about giving up different categories of stuff for a month at a time for seven months? Starting with food?

I like food. I don't like the idea of having to give up food. And yet, the author gave up chocolate for an entire month.

~~Crazy~~ Radical indeed.

But nothing had me prepared for what I actually encountered during the few moments each day I got to sit down and read the first few chapters. Within hours I was convicted of my excessive tendencies. Toward food (sorry, chocolate. That includes you.). Toward clothing. Toward media. Toward stuff in general.

The thing is, I don't consider myself to be a person who clings to my stuff. I don't even like having too much stuff around. But when I start to really take stock of what junk, as I so loving call it, is laying around our house driving me crazy is actually mine, well, I am more than a little humbled.

Jen Hatmaker's experiment was to get to the heart of what God wants for our hearts. To set aside our stuff so we can really, truly hear from Him. To know that His heart is for the poor. The needy. People I honestly don't give a lot of thought to because I live in a nice, sheltered little town where everyone more or less has enough to eat and enough to wear. I don't have to be confronted with poverty because I don't even drive near that area of the city when I run my errands.

I have so much cluttering my life that I can't see beyond it.

The truth hurts.

I'm not about to only eat seven food items for an entire month (thank you, breast feeding for that!). But this book has really got me thinking about where I need to cut back. What we need to teach our kids. And how to start looking for ways to serve with the heart of Jesus.

Starting by getting rid of those steel-toed boots.

To get in on the discussion, hop on over to Amy's for directions.

P.S. I don't really think Jen Hatmaker is cuckoo. I think she's awesome and would like to have her as my new BFF. For real. So ma'am, if you're reading this, you rock.

I want him to know

2012-05-22T15:10:00.000-06:00

Since doing some research on Ty's low muscle tone, we found out there could be a connection to the grey area that showed up on his brain during his initial ultrasounds in the NICU. I'm so glad we pushed for a follow-up ultrasound. While he is definitely a bright, alert, active little baby, the fact that he's "relaxed" could really be caused by some part of his brain not quite connecting properly.

One hurdle cleared. Another in front of us.

Lest you worry, I'm not feeling sorry for us. Not one bit. We knew to expect a roller coaster ride with the little mister. And I know that we will have wonderful help and support if he does experience developmental delays physically. And I want him to know that if that is the case, those delays won't define him.

Instead, I want him to know that he is loved unendingly by His creator.

I want him to know that his worth isn't wrapped up in what he can do. It's wrapped up in the loving arms of the One who gave him life and what He can do.

I want him to know that when people look at him, they see God at work in his little life. And give Him praise.

I want him to know that when God looks at him, He smiles.

Linking up with SDG.

Getting my random on: Dog Irony

2012-05-18T20:22:00.000-06:00

This is my cute little fluff of a dog, Maggie:

Doesn't she look sweet and innocent? Well, don't let those big, sad, brown eyes fool you.

Maggie likes to leave little presents in her boys' (Ethan and Ty) room. She's thoughtful like that.

Maggie also has a favourite book:

Toby is a dog who is always in trouble. He also likes to leave little presents around the house. So his owner, Emma, sends him to obedience school. He fails at first, but after some one-on-one tutoring, he finally earns his diploma.

Today Maggie left a present on the page of Toby at obedience school.

See? I told you she was thoughtful. And maybe just a wee bit sarcastic. She gets that from me.

Linking up with Michelle for some Caffeinated Randomness today.

Where my son inherits my dislike for weigh-ins

2012-05-17T17:05:00.001-06:00

We had another round of check-ups for the little mister this week. A few highlights:

Ty currently weighs 13lbs, 1oz and is 23 inches long. I grow big babies.
He really, really hates being woken up, stripped down, and put on the scale. He screamed almost as loudly as I did when they had to weigh me during my prenatal check-ups. *grin*
The neonatologist was happy with Ty's progress. He did note that Ty's overall tone is a bit lower than he would like, despite how strong he is. Kevin suggested we get him weight-lifting, to which the doctor laughed. P90X, anyone?
The doctor has also ordered a follow-up brain ultrasound for the near future. Even though he feels that there are no signs of anything wrong neurologically, there was a grey area in Ty's first ultrasound at the hospital that we would like them to clarify. So far it hasn't had any bearing on his development, and it really could be nothing, but we'd just like to have that put to rest once and for all. It's much easier to go to yet another appointment and find out everything is fine than to have that question mark hovering in the back of our minds indefinitely.
Did I mention he hates being weighed?

Overall, our doctors are confident he is doing everything he should be doing. I have noticed that in terms of developmental milestones he is about two weeks behind, which is not surprising to me. He was born two weeks early and spent almost two weeks in the NICU, which can both cause a bit of a delay. And really, I have to remember that my other kiddos were all overachievers and met most of their milestones early. We may just have a little more laid back person on our hands now. And I am totally fine with that.

Next month Ty goes for his hearing reassessment, and then hopefully we can stay away from the hospital for a couple of months - that's the goal, anyway!

Oh, and today Ty giggled his first little giggle. It was the cutest sound ever. I fell in love all over again!

Hit me over the head already

2012-05-16T19:40:00.001-06:00

So, um, I can take a hint.

In less than twenty four hours, I have had no less than three incidences where the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker has been mentioned either directly or indirectly to me. And given that the very last post I wrote had to do with my closet exploding (and her second chapter just happens to be on clothing), I'm thinking I am supposed to read this book.

So I am.

In fact, just today in my internet meanderings to blogs I adore (and have unfortunately neglected for several weeks because of the little mister), I discovered that the lovely Amy Sullivan is co-hosting a book club on this very book, starting TODAY.

Thank goodness for instant gratification via the Kindle. I heart my Kindle.

Anyway, this looks like a great book. I actually love getting rid of excess. I'm a purger of things by nature. Of course, my hubs is the exact opposite, so finding a balance for the two of us keeps things interesting. Where I say we haven't used this for over a year let's toss it, my man keeps things for decades on the off chance he will need it someday.

I hope he has a good hiding place, 'cause this girl is ready to get rid of some stuff!

Where my closet explodes. Again.

2012-05-15T13:34:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I decided was a good day to undertake the task of cleaning out the maternity clothes from my closet. Make that the bottom of my closet. I had stuff piled so high in there, I could barely hang up my pre-pregnancy pants that don't fit me either.

Let me just say, there is no bigger stress in my life than having a pile of clothing that doesn't fit me. It just sits there mocking me, saying annoying things like "It was super cute when your tummy was round with a baby. Not so much now." Or "How on earth did you even get these pants on without a giant shoe horn?"

Now, lest you think I'm being too hard on myself, don't worry. I was just sharing with my wonderful friend yesterday how I am coming to terms with my new shape and size. Besides, I know its temporary. Still, its awfully hard to keep things in perspective when you have to wear the same spit-up stained t-shirt for the third time in a week because nothing else fits properly.

Anyway, back to my exploding closet. Which, by the way, at least half of the clothing was generously given to me. (I wrote that sentence for the benefit of my hubby. He gets stressed by the thought of me shopping. Which he probably should!) After I pulled out the mountain of clothes and folded it into a neater mountain on my bed which I promptly forgot about for the next four hours until it was time for ME to go to bed because I was distracted by the cutest, most adorable baby ever, I started thinking again about all the other stuff I have piled up around the house that I need to take care of. Yesterday.

Like the mountain of stuff on hub's side of the room that came from his former downstairs office. Or the long last-things-to-do list of stuff to finish off our basement reno. Or the weeds that are growing faster than my baby boy (including the dandelions, Michelle!) Or the mysterious stains on my couch. And the small repairs that keep rearing their ugly head, just because I have nothing else to occupy my day with!

It's so easy to get overwhelmed by it all. Just typing that list is making me feel all panicky!

But this morning as I was praying, God reminded me that it will get done. I need to let go of my tendency to want things done like last week and just take one day at a time. I need to soak up these quiet moments in the day instead of trying to rush through them so I can get more done.

So while today I stare at the boxes of clothes in my room that are waiting for me to drop them off for someone else to use, I will remember that no, I won't get everything done in one day. Or maybe not even this month. But it will get done.

And I might even be okay with that.

(Baby steps, right?!)

Linking up with the SDG sisters!

Getting into a rhythm

2012-05-03T12:01:00.000-06:00

(And also reacquainting myself with spell check. Who knew rhythm was such a tricky word?!)

The little mister turned two months old on Tuesday. Today he is 9 weeks.

How on earth did that happen?!

The first days after Ty came home, I prayed that the days would go by slowly. And in some respects they have. In a good way. I want to enjoy and savour every last moment I have with him while he's still in this stage. I was in such a hurry to get to each new milestone with our other kiddos that I didn't take the time to just be in the moments they were in. I feel like I've been given a gift to be able to finally do that now.

But this week has just zoomed by. I blame the little rhythm we're getting into here. I've regained my energy, so in between feedings I'm actually accomplishing things around the house (read: cleaning the house after letting it all pile up for months. Yikes!). Ty's still in the sleepy stage, so his naps are long. I sometimes go and get him from his nap just because I miss him. Because once his siblings get home, I don't get a lot of cuddle time with him. (Not that I'm complaining - I love that his big brother and sisters compete for time spent with the baby!)

Those first few weeks of adjustment are just a sweet memory. We're all wondering how we ever lived without Ty in our family just two short months ago.

I love these quiet days at home with him. Plus, when he's awake, I get to coax the most beautiful smiles from him:

I definitely can get used to this.

He can hear!

2012-04-19T10:15:00.001-06:00

A few weeks ago we were concerned that our little mister might have a hearing impairment. During his stay in the NICU, Ty underwent the routine newborn hearing screening and completely failed it. We were told not to worry, that it was likely just fluid in his ears or some kind of interference with the machine, but that he would have to be reassessed in a couple of months.

I don't have to tell you that telling a parent of a baby who is at considerably higher risk of having complications not to worry is fruitless.

Kevin and I watched over Ty, looking for signs that he was able to hear the world around him. And became more and more concerned when he lay unresponsive to even the loudest noises, including our dog barking maniacally at the neighbours entering our cul-de-sac while sitting right next to the baby.

We shared our concerns with our family doctor, who couldn't reassure us. I've been to my doctor for almost 20 years - when she doesn't want to worry me, she doesn't say anything. And that worried me.

So I shared our worries with a few close friends and family members, and we prayed.

And the most amazing thing happened. Shortly after Easter, I started noticing that Ty was responding to louder noises. At first it was hit and miss, to the point where I wasn't sure if I was imagining things. But then I saw that it was becoming more consistent. He'd blink or startle at each bark of the dog. He'd jump if something fell. And then one evening as he was dozing in his bouncy chair right before bedtime, Kevin clapped really loud to see if it would wake him up. It did. A couple of days later our oldest daughter, Emma, was getting him to sleep and she was cooing over him so much he kept waking up. For the first time I had to tell the kids to keep it down so they wouldn't wake the baby!

There are so many emotions going through me right now. Relief. Awe. Thankfulness. Joy. Especially joy.

I was preparing myself for the worst.

But instead, God gave us the best. I don't think I will ever get over that!

Seeking

2012-04-18T11:46:00.001-06:00

Last week one of my dearest friends suffered a devastating loss.

My heart broke for this family that day. It continues to ache each time the cost of this tragedy washes over me anew.

During my pregnancy, I learned to look for God in the things that we ordinarily think He has absented Himself from. On the worst days I would seek Him and find signs of His love and goodness, even when my head would try to argue against it.

My friend was one of those evidences of His love. (She still is.)

Last week, as I stood by my lovely friend, I struggled to find His goodness in their tragedy. I knew it was there, I just couldn't see it. So I asked Him to show it to us.

He revealed His goodness in His provision of safety for my friend, her family, and those involved in helping them.

He showed it in His provision for their needs, even before the extent of their loss was fully clear.

And He has shown it in His provision of strength through the people who have surrounded them with love, support, and encouragement.

It's easy to look at my baby boy and remember His goodness. It's not so easy to look at loss and find it there.

And yet, that's exactly what He wants us to do.

Sing to him, sing praise to him;
   tell of all his wonderful acts.
Glory in his holy name;
   let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
Look to the LORD and his strength;
   seek his face always.
1 Corinthians 16:9-11

Linking up with the SDG girls this week.

2012-04-10T13:09:00.000-06:00

I forgot how hard it is to get anything done with a little person around the house who sleeps and eats all day.

Not that I'm complaining. This past month has been so wonderful. I am definitely smitten.

Ty had his follow-up with the surgeon last Monday. The surgeon was very happy with his progress and does not need to see him again. Tuesday we took Ty for his well-baby check with our family doctor only to discover that he had gained an entire pound in one week! And I'm pretty sure with his current growth spurt he may just crack 10 lbs by the time he is 6 weeks old.

Chubby babies are just awesome.

We're still a bit concerned about his hearing. The odd time Ty seems to be responding to high pitch sounds, but the majority of the time he does not react at all. I did some reading on hearing impairment and am encouraged to know that there are a lot of treatment options, depending on what type of impairment there is (if any), and that there are a couple of really good programs available in the city that will offer support and help. It's funny - it's not the impairment itself that bothers me, because this is just who Ty is. It's the desire to protect him that gets to me. It's not easy watching our kids struggle, no matter what the issue, is it?

But, irregardless of what the days ahead bring, I can't help but be thankful. When I was pregnant, I prayed that not only would Ty be strong and healthy, but that God would be honoured and glorified through his little life. These past few weeks I have been in total awe of how God has answered that second prayer. I have lost track of how many have been praying for our little guy. I think it really hit me the day my girls brought home a letter from one of their friends - she had been praying for Ty and his surgery, and she wrote him a letter telling him that and how special he is. And then followed it with Scripture after Scripture of encouragement for him.

Is God amazing or what?

Ty's Story part 4

2012-03-22T11:50:00.000-06:00

To read the first three parts, click here.

You know when time seems suspended, and everything happens in slow motion? I had one of those moments on the Saturday before Ty came home. We arrived at the NICU that morning really hoping they would tell us that was the day he was coming home. The nurse greeted us and began sharing what the doctors had said during rounds that morning. And then she said it.

"The doctor said Ty could go home..."

*insert the longest millisecond of my life here*

"...tomorrow."

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I knew it was likely that morning that Ty would have one more day in the NICU. But I was so disappointed. Even the nurse thought he was ready to go home.

Although the positive side of things was we did get to look forward to one more night of uninterrupted sleep!

Sunday morning I was anxious to get going. Unfortunately, when we arrived we discovered Ty was the last on the list of four patients to be discharged that day. His nurse was determined to get him out of there before her shift ended - I just loved her!

At 3pm, we finally were given the go ahead to take our boy home. It still makes me cry to think about. After all the worry, all the anxiety, all the fear and uncertainty...

...my baby was finally coming home.

We were excited and nervous all at the same time. Almost two weeks later and I am still nervous about taking care of my little man. I have no idea what I am doing! Sometimes I just watch him while he's sleeping and wonder with awe that we are here.

We still have some bumps to get over in the months ahead. Ty's hearing needs to be reassessed as he didn't pass his first screening. And the next few months will be full of follow-up appointments with his surgeon, the neonatologist, and geneticist. So far, other than the hearing thing, everything seems fine. And really, every day his hearing seems to be getting better - they told us he probably just had fluid in his ears. He flinches when the dog barks, and seems to like my singing (maybe he really does need his hearing re-tested!).

But you know what? Either way, I am so thrilled with this little man. He's just perfect. When I think back to the day I started to suspect I was pregnant, to the panic and fear I had to pray through at the thought of having another baby and all that would mean, I have to laugh. Despite the roller coaster we have been on, I wouldn't change a thing. Not only have we been given this amazing gift, I learned to trust God. And we've seen evidence every single day of His love and faithfulness to us.

I'm not just in awe of my wee man. I'm in awe of the God who loves us so much that He would give us such a beautiful, good and perfect gift in the tiny little form of a baby.

I'm beginning to think that's His favourite type of wrapping.

Ty's Story part 3

2012-03-20T09:25:00.000-06:00

To read the first two parts of Ty's story, click here.

That Monday morning, we arrived in the NICU to find Ty had graduated from the heated bassinet to a regular crib. It seems like such a small thing, but you get used to celebrating them - every one of them means you're a step closer to bringing your baby home!

We also had arrived just in time to give Ty his very first bottle feed. They had removed the tubes shortly after rounds that morning, and the nurse had just prepared a bottle for him. I had thought they were going to do tube feeds first, but either I misunderstood (which is likely, in my sleep-deprived state!) or he was doing better than they thought. One regret I have from Ty's stay in the NICU is that we weren't able to make it to the hospital early enough for rounds so we could ask the doctor questions. The nurses were fantastic about keeping us updated, but sometimes it's good to be able to chat with the doctors. However, they do rounds so early in the morning, that it was just not realistic for us to get there in time for them, especially since we wanted to be home with our other kids to get them off to school.

Ty's first feeding was a bit slow - he was still pretty lethargic. But he picked it up fairly quickly! The next time I fed him, he guzzled his bottle back so fast, his nurse was afraid he was going to spit it all back up!

By Thursday Ty was doing so well, they decided to let him eat on demand. I also was allowed to try to nurse him - he was so offended! I say that while laughing - the poor little guy had no idea what was going on. All he wanted was his bottle that he didn't have to work to eat from!

Friday went so much better, though. I'm not sure if it was because I was more relaxed because he was in the final bay in the NICU, the last one they are in before they come home. I knew the end was finally in sight! That day we were told he would be coming home on the weekend. I really wanted to take him home Saturday, but his doctor decided he wanted Ty in for one more day of observation.

to be continued...

Ty's Story part 2

2012-03-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

click here for part 1

Ty was born with a stomach abnormality called an omphalocele. Early in gestation, a baby's bowels will form and go outside of the tummy, however not too long afterward they will loop back into the body and the skin will close over it. In the case of an omphalocele, for some reason this doesn't happen and the bowels (and/or other organs) will grow inside a balloon like membrane outside the tummy. Ty's omphalocele was small - it contained only his bowels and (as was discovered during surgery) his appendix. Some omphaoloceles can contain as much as the stomach, liver, intestines, and bowels and are much more serious and complicated to treat.

Ty's omphalocele

When Ty was born on Thursday, his surgeon scheduled the surgery to correct the abnormality for the following Monday. However, that Thursday morning another surgery was cancelled and Ty was able to have his done at just 14 hours old! One of our prayers for our little man was that he would be strong and healthy enough to have the surgery done as soon as possible. We were expecting it be done within three or four days - not hours!

The surgery went well and was done within an hour. They removed Ty's appendix completely - when they were replacing his bowels they would have had to put his appendix on the wrong side. If ever he had appendicitis and wasn't able to tell the doctors his appendix was not where it should be, it could have been dangerous. After that, they placed his small bowel on the right side of his tummy and the large one on the left, rather than looped around as they normally are. The surgery was done through the opening in his tummy where the omphalocele was, rather than having to make a new incision in his tummy. Once finished, they stretched the muscle over the opening and stitched him right up. Other than having what looks like an exaggerated outie of a belly button, you would never know he was born with the abnormality!

After surgery

Ty recovered from his surgery beautifully and quickly - his nurses were impressed with his progress! He spent the weekend sleeping and being fed sugar water through a feeding tube. We were told if all went well, he'd be able to start feeds that Monday.

to be continued...