Soul Deep Blues

THE LEFTOVER COUNT

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Sat, 08 Jun 2013 19:11:00 +0000

I watched them enter the compound where I live - a slim man with two little girls walking in after him. They didn't shut the gate after them, and that got me pissed, after all they met it shut didn't they?

I wasn't going to challenge them, I just continued to watch. Looking through the glass doors of my house, I could see them , but they couldn't see me, yet, it surprised me when I realised that they were actually headed for my house.

As they stood in front of my door and knocked, I thought that perhaps they had the wrong house. I politely asked who they wanted to see.

"Please we want food," said the man. It felt like someone had punched me in the stomach.

"What did you say?" I asked. OK, so I figured he had asked for food, but a part of me just didn't believe that it was what I had heard. While he repeated his request, I had a look at the little girls with him. They couldn't have been more than 4 and 7, and they really did look like him - the younger one especially.

I promptly directed him to the second house in the compound. As he left, my heart knew that I ought to give them something, and I did have something to give them. My husband asked if there was anything I wanted to give them. I had made a big pot of moin-moin the night before, and I had just warmed it. I quickly put some wraps together in a plastic bag, and just after their father had locked the gate (oh yes, he shut it and even slid the bolt in), I opened it and called out to them.

The elder daughter collected it, whilst their father thanked me. It was just the simple phrase "thank you", no extras, no flurry of prayers, or gestures of undying thanks, just a simple thank you...and it was enough for me. Though I knew what I gave wasn't enough.

I wanted to ask about his wife, his living conditions, why he was out on the streets on a Saturday morning going from door to door asking for food, what did he do for a living?...but I couldn't. I knew I wouldn't be able to follow through, or provide a solution to his predicament...it was sort of a case of starting what I won't be able to finish, so I had to let it be.

I continued to peep at them for a while, as he continued his door-to-door hunt for food. Less than 15 minutes after they left, a rainstorm started - heavy winds, and then the downpour. I said a silent prayer for them, hoping they were sheltered from the storm.

I am very guilty of wasting food, (tossing my leftovers with ease into the garbage) serving up more than I should for myself and sometimes my children. Though recently, I have been trying to cut down on wastage of food, and after seeing that man and his children today, I have this terrible pang of guilt and their hungry faces still haunt me, and would probably continue to haunt me every time I decide to throw away "those few last spoons of rice", or "that part of chicken I don't like to eat".

My resolve not to waste food just reached it's climax. I consider it a crime and a sin, but hey, that's just me. If you decide to make the same resolve, there are lots of lovely recipes that are created from leftovers, when in doubt, just Google them out:)

Levels: "Do You Know Who I am?"

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 00:40:00 +0000

"Do you know who I am?" After this question, I literally tune off, "here we go again," I think to myself. Then I start to assess the whole situation.

The person who just asked that question is driving a new car - probably one of the newest models of whatever brand (I'm not too keen on brands if it's not Mercedes, BMW, or Range Rover), and there's 'poor' me - at least the person thinks that, otherwise he/she wouldn't be so arrogantly asking me that question. I'm driving my classic Mercedes 230, that has never let me down- sure we have a couple of dents here and there, but still in very good shape if I do say so myself.

I'm wearing a pair of faded jeans and a shirt with no label (or maybe the label got torn off, or something- who cares!), not sure if I ran a comb through my hair this morning- ok I probably did, but knowing the nature of my hair, it has probably coiled itself back into knots.

Yea and lest I forget, on the car is a sticker that identifies the owner as being a graduate of one of those overseas universities - so yes, maybe we are not educationally equal? Yea right, bite my head off. I mean I graduated from the Lagos State University, (I'm very proud of my alma mater) and from where I am standing, if you were to judge by listening to us talk, I should be the one with the University of ...(any fine university you know overseas would do).

I spent my secondary education at Queens College Yaba, Lagos, and boy didn't I meet a mixture of human beings (from the daughters of governors, magnates, judges etc to the daughters of janitors) and well, quite naturally the segregation was clear in some quarters; yet there were some very humble 'rich' girls, daughters of some powerful men. I will not particularly forget this certain lady (whose name I won't mention for obvious reasons). She is the daughter of one of Nigeria's past presidents, but her humility was so divine, it was almost unbelievable.

Oh well, that's life. Quite a number of us have experienced such outbursts, where people go ahead and start asking us if they know who they are, like it matters.

Even if there are no outbursts, there is a certain aura about them that says "I'm better than you because I've got this and this and that". You know them when you see them. They walk only with their own kind, sharing jokes and making fun of the 'lesser beings'. They live by a set of criteria, sizing up anyone who wants to be in their circle, and if you don't match up, well...

I mean so what if you've got a fleet of cars at your disposal, a huge satellite on your lawn, a string of degrees (1st, Masters, Doctorate) that were not obtained on Nigerian soil, and you're related to one someone in the presidency, or one of those oil and gas moguls and yada yada yada.

Truth is, you and I are going to end up the same way- as a pile of dust; and I haven't heard of it yet, but it's going to be the same dust - brown. Yours isn't going to be gold, or silver or platinum; all your wealth and assets won't follow you after you lose your physical form, so what's all the fuss about, like why do I really have to know you? So I can tremble at your feet and lick your boots?

You've got it all wrong, and the earlier you start to get it right, the more life will make much sense to you.

Sadly though, these people also pass on these false values to their kids and it just goes on and on.

I thank my parents for teaching me the value of living an honest, humble life and learning not to worry about where and how one was educated. I thank my husband for also being a constant example of those values, and for continuing to teach me.

We waste too much time on inanities and material gain. We are constantly trying to outweigh each other, indulging a race that isn't even worth running.
Now I am not saying that wealth acquisition is bad, No! Just don't make it your priority in life and a yardstick for your interactions with others.

In the end, the preacher has said it all: "All is vanity."

For Granted

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:42:00 +0000

Have you thought deeply about the process of waking up? Before you go to bed, dwell on it. You're going to close your eyes, your heart rate is going to slow down, all metabolic processes will slow down too...but why won't they stop? What's keeping that heart of yours pumping? What's the guarantee that it's going to go on pumping the next couple of seconds?

Sure you've got the body of an athlete, or your work-out routine is just off the charts and, your diet is the best thing that could have happened to you and yada yada yada.

If you're reading this, then you have breath, you have life and you have hope. It means that you got back home safely, or you arrived at your destination safely. It means you have eyes to read and maybe ears to hear too.

It means you have another chance to make things right, another day to savor, to play away, to laugh, to cry, to help someone, to love someone, to make a difference.

But on the other side of the coin...someone isn't going to wake up to read this. Their eyes will be shut forever, no breath, no life. Maybe they didn't make it back home, maybe they did but never woke up. Maybe they had woken up but had their life taken away...maybe they died giving life to someone else...who knows.

Some people didn't have to dig the earth to be buried, it just opened up and swallowed them up. Some of them may have wished for a lavish funeral; golden casket, tuxedo, and blaa blaa blaa...but guess all that is gone underground now.

For some it was a sudden watery grave, swift, and overwhelming. The options are endless.

My point really is...if you're alive today(well or unwell),promise to always give God the thanks. the moment you open your eyes, just say it. Thank you God for the gift of another day.

A FRIEND

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:01:00 +0000

I have had quite a number of friends in my life so far- at least that's what I called them then. Often times than not, they were friends to me- they were willing to go the extra mile for me, they would always be there for me whenever I needed them. I was a top priority to them. But I wasn't a friend to them. I took them for granted. When it came to them, there was always something better to do. Perhaps the most amazing thing in all this, is the fact that I paid more attention to people who did not give me the time of day. Those were the ones I tried to please, those were the ones I went out my way to seek.

We really do some bizarre things as human beings. Today, I stand ashamed and full of remorse, and ask forgiveness from those whose friendships I'd abused in the past. Though for some its already too late, and the guilt lingers.

She was the girl next door. We had just moved to a new neighborhood. She was kind, took me around, introduced me to her friends and made me feel very welcome and comfortable. Within days of our meeting, she'd told me almost everything about herself. Her openness was amazing and warming. Soon enough, she got admitted to a university and had to travel out of state. We exchanged e-mail addresses (I never mailed her), and we exchanged phone numbers. Though she called from time to time, I never bothered calling back. I would flash once in a while- but c'mon, that's still cold.

Eventually, her family moved out of the neighborhood, but she still kept in touch. She even came to visit with her fiance whom she had met at the university. She also advised me to get serious and stop flirting around.

One evening, months after I'd seen her, she called me. After accusing me of not calling her at all- to which I laughingly apologized- she told me her wedding was in a few weeks and if I didn't call her she wasn't going to call me again- yea right! she'd said that so many times before. She was just bluffing, then why did I feel that she meant it, why did I have the constant nagging feeling to call her? I couldn't understand it.

Six weeks later, I understood. She died in a plane crash on her way back from her honeymoon. Her last words to me "I'm not going to call you again o." My reply, "I've heard." How cold, how cruel, how selfish.

She's not the first friend I've lost, but the first I've lost to death. I can never try to make it up to her, I can never apologize to her, but I can make amends to those alive.

Lets look in our hearts and assess ourselves. Are we really being true as friends? It is better to lay a friendship to rest than to leave the other person hanging. Be honest with your friend even though it may hurt, be there for your friend, be supportive. Always look out for your friend and never let communication die, even if you hear nothing from your friend in a while, it won't hurt to call just to be sure that everything is okay.

Never part with anyone on a bad note. It might just be the last word said between you two.

MAYBE IT'S ME

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 18:04:00 +0000

It seems to be a human thing to do-to blame everyone but ourselves for our failures, shortcomings, misfortunes, and even our outlook on life.

In our sight we are always right; but the funny thing is that we can never stand before ourselves-unless of course we look in the mirror. But even at that, how many of us really have the guts to look at our true reflections and say " that's a really ugly character flaw I have there, and it's causing some real damage, not only to me, but to people around me, I've got to fix it!"

It's amazing how quick we are to play the victim, to be the accuser,to shift the blame, to run away- but it's wrong, unfair and wicked.

It takes a humbling of the spirit, a selflessness that surpasses all human understanding, and a genuine fear of the Creator to turn the fingers on oneself, to be the accused, and to try to find a possibility that maybe and just maybe, the problem is you.

This is an attitude that I'm finding very hard to adopt. It's a level of selflessness that makes you a better person, and less and less of a hyprocrite.
During an arguement, I'm always to quick to run to my defence and point at the other party. All I see is what they did, I blind myself to what I did. I look at my mistakes, and reason with myself that something or someone else was responsible for them. By so doing, I'm storing up a rather large dose of bitter pills to swallow in the end.

Kind words from a kind heart. Humility and selflessness, are sure ingredients for a soup of eternal happiness, peace, and a better world!

After All Is Said and Done

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 18:46:00 +0000

There was definitely no way I was going to leave you all in the lurch, nah, not after staying with me this far.

Another year waits patiently around the corner. Another chance to right our wrongs, another chance to aim for success, another chance to make a difference, another chance to be different, another chance to forgive and be forgiven. It's an endless list of possibilities. That's the spirit we should carry on with us.

So your plans didn't exactly turn out as you expected,but that's not to say it's over- well unless of course you believe it's over. If you didn't get it right this time, that doesn't mean you'll never get it right. You will if you keep working at it and believing in it. Yes, we all have some failures to remember, but they are only part of the pathway to success.

Amidst all the merriment and jubilation, take out some time to reflect. Above all take your thoughts and plans to the Lord. Sometimes we just forget to involve Him.

Wishing you an improvement in all areas of your life and a deeper understanding of the purpose of this life.

God's blessings to y'all!

Sometime in the Future

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:06:00 +0000

Sometime in the future, probably sixty or more years from now with half my teeth down the drain , I want to be able to smile and thank God.

There will so much to be thankful for. For my children, my grandchildren, my great-grand children, their spouses and their spouses' families.

I may not have doctors, or lawyers or engineers or bankers in my family. but everyone would be fulfilled and happy in whatever they have chosen to do with their life.

I would thank God for blessing my life with them, and for using me to bless them as they in turn will also bless others.

I would be thankful for every argument we had, every tear that we shed, and every laugh that we shared. For memories good and bad, because they strengthen bonds and make us understand each other more.

And above all, I will be most thankful for my husband, my friend, my love, my partner, my equal, my soul mate, my pillar, my strength, my companion, and my confidante; whom I have shared my life with and whose life I have in turn shared in.

I would look at my family and say, life is certainly worth living, when you have love.

The Search and The Find

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 08:41:00 +0000

I watched with joy as one of my very good friends got married on Saturday, the 20th of October, 2007. Exactly 6 years after they got engaged. Okay so she's not the first of my friends to get married, then why the hype?

Often times, there's always a little history before a woman gets married. I'm talking about the X-factor, yes the X-boyfriend, or boyfriends as the case may be. Call me old-fashioned, call me conservative, but the truth is we(women)are better off without those "X"es.

This marriage resulted from my friend's one and only relationship. Apart from her Christian upbringing, I often wondered what made her a little more reserved towards the guys in the university. Don't get me wrong though, it wasn't that she wouldn't talk with them, but there was just a way she conducted herself around them.

This is not to say that you have to be engaged before you conduct yourself in an appropriate manner, but you should at all times.

I on the other hand thought myself a free-spirit. I'd hug all the guys, jump on them, talk nasty with them. Of course this "free-spiritedness" had its consequences,though at the time, I felt i was living life and having fun. I look back now and wish that I had calmed down and not let my excitement and eagerness to "feel among" get the better of me.

It was my dream as a young girl that whoever I dated would be the person I'd marry. Even though I didn't live that dream, I'm a strong advocate for it.

There is another detail of great importance in all this. The seal of approval from God. No matter how good you think a guy or girl is, only God can see the whole true picture. So when you think you've stumbled upon Mrs. Right or Mr. Right, take them up to the Lord in prayer for approval before going toO deep.

Congratulations to Mr&Mrs. Fabajo. God bless you and keep you. I await the naming ceremony.

Conscience rules

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 10:34:00 +0000

I believe everyone is born with a conscience; the ability to tell right from wrong.
A conscience is that red light that blinks when you’re approaching your limit. It’s the soft little voice that speaks to you from the inside, amidst the loudness and madness.
Most of the time, you deny the existence of this “true friend”, whose only interest is what’s best for you. You do this to afford yourself the luxury of doing what you want. However one truth I have come to realize is that you can suppress this inner voice but you can never kill it. It breathes as you breathe and thus lives as long as you live too. I’ve heard people talk about a bad conscience. You were created to love others, so how come you go about killing them? It’s the same thing with a conscience, it was created to prevent evil thoughts and actions, to caution and to protect, but when you ignore its call and go ahead with your evil intentions, you say it’s a bad conscience.
Sometimes, you think you know where you’re going; you think you know what’s waiting for you around the corner; you keep up your speed and ignore all the signs. You approach a sharp bend, the red light is blinking furiously now, but you still don’t stop. You think you’ve got it all under control, and then…. BANG!!! You don’t see it coming, it’s a head-on collision, the impact is deadly and all too soon you see a blinding light as your life flashes past; then a momentary pause filled with a knowing regret, “I should have stopped”, then the darkness, and all is lost.

To be or Not to Be

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 20:52:00 +0000

It’s so easy to get lost in doing something that isn’t worthwhile and so easy to remain focused doing something that has absolutely no value.

I convince myself that the reason why it's easy is because it requires little or no effort- but that's where I've got it all wrong! I'm just channeling the same energy in another direction.

I find it hard to focus on writing, I have a good story in my head, I begin to type away at it, then the next thing I remember I have this beautiful card game that I haven’t finished playing. The next thing I know I’m spending hours on it, starting and restarting and finally, Hurray! I win.

I look at the time, it’s already very late, I tell myself there’s no way I can make sense out of the story I’ve written , or rather, I tell myself that I should be too tired to think and besides tomorrow is another day, I’ll start early and remain focused.

The next day comes and what happens, I do the same thing all over again.

Who can help me out of this? The truth is I’m the only one who can get me out. This is what is called self control and just like keeping fit, I have to exercise it.

Its not enough to repeat a couple of self help lines. Total application is necessary to make the transformation complete.

I am glad to say that I have made some progress in that direction and I pray for the strength not to relent and give up.

Sometimes we are the obstacles in our path to success and greatness. We can be either one of two things; our greatest stumbling block or our greatest stepping stone.The question is which would you rather be?

Much ado about sex

noreply@blogger.com (Syreeta Akinyede) — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:02:00 +0000

Now sex comes in different forms: there's Pure sex-which is sex between married couples; Adulterated sex- which is sex between two spouses from different marriages, or one married partner and a single partner; Pre-marital sex- sex between partners who are unmarried.

Sometimes i ask myself,would the world would be a better place, if we all stuck to pure sex? Is it really possible to abstain from sex until marriage?(for both men and women), is it possible to remain loyal and faithful to your spouse till death do you part?

Apart from the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, sex in any other form but its pure form is always damaging be it psychological, emotional, spiritual or physical.

Sex is a form of bonding which should be shared with only one other person (your spouse)as long as you both live. Outside this, one can never fully experience the true fulfilment that goes along with it.

So why do we human beings deliberately close our minds to the right way of living and embrace ugliness and unhappiness, then turn around beat ourselves and cry and say that the world is a wicked place. When truly, we are responsible for evrything.